12 THE NORFOLK NEWS : Flllb'AY , NOYE ilSll 8 , IflOl.
WEDNESDAY WRINKLES ,
Mrs. 0. II. Reynolds wont to Onialm
yesterday.
It. Dryer of Wnyuo vriw in tlio city
yesterday.
O. F. Jloynoldfl of Madison WUH n city
visitor yesterday.
Goo. 0. Stevenson wns n vlHltor over
night from Madison.
M. G. Bloy luitl family are moving
to Plaluviow today ,
C3. W. Goodwin was ever from the
connty sent yesterday.
Mr. and Mrs. V. 8. Walker of Mudl-
< ; ou were Norfolk guests yesterday.
V. A. Huston WIXR In the city from
NollRh ever ulKhti onroute to Piorco.
Bnd Powers Is up from Onmlin to visit
Ills parents , Jndgo nnd Mm. I. Powers.
Mrs. Win. Nowmnn of Stnnton IH vis
iting her parents , Mr. nnd Mrs. W. F.
Moldouhauor.
Mrs. M. 0. Walker nnd daughter
Kola , Imvo tnkon rooms nt A. Osborno's
for the winter.
ft W. 11 Perkins , representing the
Union Pnoitlo oillelal directory , was In
town yohtordny making contruotH for
the coming two years.
Mr. and Mrs. K. F. Sohloct nnd HOII
nro expected hero from Grand Island to
Bpoud the winter , Mr. Sohloot making
thin city his headquarters.
O. .T. Tunny , vioo president of the
Peoples 1'r.iotlcnl Gnu company of Chicago
cage was iu the city yoHtordny looking
up the ( inostlon of gas lighting for Nor
folk.
folk.Mr.
Mr. nnd Mrs. Layhn loft this morning
for their homo in Kansas Oily. Mrs.
Ohosnntwood will go there to make her
homo with them after her business af
fairs nro adjusted' .
The grand regent of the lloynl Arca-
uum , Deputy Grand Regent Brink and
Grand Secretary Grlmmol of Omaha
will meet with Norfolk council , No.
171)1 ) , at its regular session tomorrow
night.
The weather this morning gave every
prospect of n beautiful day , hut the sun
Imd barely risen when Old Borons
flwung in with astonishidg vigor and
during the day has given every indica
tion that ho is here for the winter with
the ospooial mission of jollying up the
coal men , ,
Bids for the rebuilding of the now
wing nt the Norfolk hospital for the in-
enuo will bo opened by the Btnto board
of pnblio lauds and buildings at Lincoln
uoxt Friday. The architect is confident
that at least two responsible biddors.aud
perhaps more , will bo represented when
the bids nro opened.
Miss Etta Darland nnd Miss Gracln
Kidder , representing the Senior En
deavor society of the Congregational
church , nnd Miss May Johnson , repre
senting the Junior society , will leave
Friday for Fullerton to nttoud a two
dnys' session of the Fifth district con
vention of those societies.
Mrs. D. K. Budonz , formerly oi'y ' odl
tor of Tin : NKWS hut now of Martins
villo , Ind. , wheru she is engaged ii
newspaper work , arrived in Norfolk
this morning , onrouto homo from n visi
to Denver nnd Victor , Col. She is the
guest of Mrs.V. . X. Huso and other old
time friends and will spend a week or
ton days renewing old acquaintances.
A Patrons Educational meeting undo
the auspices of the Norfolk Woman's
club will bo hold in the Assembly roon
of the High school building "Moiulaj
oveniug nt 7 : ! JO o'clock. State Suporin
tondout W. K. Fowler is to give nn ad
dress and others interested iu sohoo
work are on the program. Each mem
ber of the Woman's club is privileged
to invite three guests and the club will
l > o glad to welcome nil patrons inter
ested iu school work.
The funorni of the late D. F. Sidler
was held this afternoon from the family
residence on South Fourth street , Rev.
J. F. Pouohor conducting the services.
The remains were interred iu Prospect
Hill cemetery , being followed to their
last resting plnco by the family and
f riomis of the deceased. Daniel Fra/.ior
Sidlor was born at Danville , Montour
county , Pennsylvania , October 21 , 1843.
When ho was eight years of ugo the
family moved to Sohoolcraft , Mich. , and
in 1870 ho was united iu marriage with
Miss Ella Cox of that place. Four years
after their innrringo Mr. and Mrs. Sid
lor moved to Roselnwu , Indiana , and 17
yenrs ago they moved to a farm in Stanton -
ton county , where they resided until
1893 , when they moved to Norfolk nnd
hnve since mnde this city their home.
B isides his wife the deceased loaves
three children , Fred Sidler , Mrs. Lottie
Davis nud Earl Sidler , the yoangest be
ing 14 years of nge. Two grnndsous ,
Robert and Philip , sons of Mr. and Mrs.
Fred Sidler , nlso survive his death. The
father , a brother nnd a sister of the deceased -
ceased nlso mourn his death , their homo
being in Michigan. About four years
ago Mr. Sidler was attacked with heart
trouble nnd has Battered more or less
from that disease since. Last April he
suffered a stroke of paralysis which left
him helpless and his condition has im
proved but blightly since. Ho was very
patient through nil his suffering nud
when the end came at 8 o'clock Monday
morning he was prepared to meet it and
passed away with scarcely n struggle.
About six weeks ago Mr. nnd Mr. Sidler
united with the Methodist church of this
city and ho died iu the faith. The do-
eased and his family had n largo nuin-
ior of friends in Norfolk who will
nourn his death and extend their nyni-
million to the living.
of . * .
Justice John M. Ilarhin of the United
Jtnto supreme court , when a priu'tlc-
ng lawyer In I.onlsvllle , once tried liln
mnd nt newspaper work , taking the
iluco of n personal friend , then editor
of the Ixmlflvlllo Commercial. The jus-
tlco got along nil right writing edltorl-
nln. hut had IdeiiH IIH to news that were
nt variance with those of the city edi
tor.
tor.One
One of the reporters had written n
lever account of a man who had fallen
from the fourth story of a building and
escaped without m-rloim Injury. It
nniile a Htory of about n column In
ength. With a proof of the article In
) ! H hand the temporary editor came to
: ho city editor and wild :
"Mr. Hmlth , please have this story
cut down. I can't HCC anything In It
that makes It worth that space. "
"Hut It's the 'star' Htory of the day ,
Mr. llarlan , " gasped the astonished
ICWH man. "I think It'H n remarkable
story anil well worth all the space giv
en to It. "
"I don't. " Hnld Justice Harlan. "If a
man had jumped up four HtorlcM , It
would certainly have been remarkable ,
lr.it even a fool could fall down four
HtorleH , or half a do7.cn , for that mat-
.er. " Xew York Times.
The DrUrr'n I'oliil of VIcMV.
The hotel coach wan tilled with a
crowd of happy , jubilant visitors , and
the horses toiled splendidly up the
hills. AH each eminence was reached
nid at every turn In the road the crowd
would burnt forth Into cries of wonder
nnd delight at the magnificent HCCIICS
which burst upon their view. The
mountain John alone preserved a dig
nity and Nllencc which rather awed the
othei-H. At length , after a particularly
lovely view had been passed , one of the
gnostH at thedriver's left hand re
marked :
"You don't worn to take much Inter
est In the Hcenery. No doubt It'H an old
Htory to yon. "
The driver shook his head. "No ,
that'H not It , " he answered. "I Jusl
don't care. " Then he leaned a little
closer am' whUpered : "lint I knows
Just how you folks must feel. Yon all
come from a long distance just to KCC
thlngH , and you're bound to enjoy It
anyhow so IIH to get your money's
worth and not feel us though yon was
cheat In * yourse.lves. Oh , " said this
driver In a mipeilor tone , "I don't mind
It when 1 understand how 'tin.-Les
lie's Weekly.
Tlir TtiRtiont Cnptnln.
A tug lay hard by , and the captain
added hit * bit to my sociological noc
turne , IIH 1 sat In the pilot house and
peered out on the water , where red
lights and green lights , with many of
yellow and white , dripped zigzag fashIon -
Ion down from the whnrf.s and ships.
"Where do you sleopV" questioned" I.
"Why , hero , " ho replied , "In tills very
pilot house on that nice Huffy hunk
you're n-settin' on ; an * sometimes 1
sleep at that wheel , a-stcerln' thin boat ,
Hlr. Can't be helped , sir. The hours we
work would ntave In n trained nurse
an' send a sentinel to he shot. Why ,
man , I've seed the time when I'voHtnck
by that wheel twenty-grim hours at a
stretch. Once It was forty-two hours.
And when you read In the paper about
towln' 4i big propeller clean through a
dock or jammln' her Into her next door
neighbor for keeps don't you say us tug
folks ar" Johnnie Raw * , .lust say we're
worked and worked till wo sleep at the
wheel. For that's God's truth , sir. "
Atlantic.
Ilolil hy
When Dotn Pedro , then emperor of
Brazil , was entertained at the White-
House , he had been told by a confused
senator that It would bo expected that
he , the emperor , should be the last of
the quests to depart.
The president's wife , however , Inform
ed her other guests that they would be
expected to follow , not precede , the
royal party In leaving the house.
The result wan that no one dared io
RO for fear of n breach of etiquette.
But at It o'clock In the morning a tired
woman pretended Illness , and the dead
lock was broken.
Great Is etiquette , but common sense
Is sometimes allowable.
'
IIU One DullMenl. .
Dr. George Fordyee , the celebrated
anatomist and lecturer on chemistry ,
used to eat one meal n day and one-
meal only , but It was a mighty one ,
washed down with liberal drafts of
wine and beer. At 4 o'clock every day
he used to outer n certain chophouse
and take his seat nt n table always re
served for him. A silver tnnknid con
taining n quart of strong ale , n full
bottle of port and a quarter of n pint of
brandy wore placed before him Inline *
dlately.
The moment the waiter announced
the doctor's arrival the cook put a
pound and a half of rump steak on the
fire , nnd to while away the time until
the steak should be properly broiled
the waiter brought the doctor some
tempting morsel like a broiled chicken
or a plate of Osli. When ho had eaten
this , Dr. Fordyee drank half of his
brandy and then began on his steak.
While eating the steak he drank the
tankard of ale nnd nfter that the rest
of the brnnfly. The waiter then un
corked the bottle of port , and the doc.
tor proceeded slowly to enjoy It until it
was nil gone. He spent an hour and a
half dally at his one meal nnd after It
returned homo to give his lectures on
chemistry , which are still quoted ns
classics of that science. He ate nothing
else until the next day , when ho re
turned at the same hour to the same
chophouse for the same sort of a meal.
Dr. Fordyco lived to be sixty-six years
old nnd kept up his one meal custom to
the hist.
SUPERINTENDENT IN DOUDT ,
Change of Five Votes Indicates Mr.
Crum's Election ,
I'mm TlinrmUr'H Dally
The olllolal count of the vote has not
boon mndo nnd until it in miido nt least
one olllco that of superintendent will
be in doubt. Word has been received
from Jefferson product that the vote
certified to was ilvo votes too many on
the republican candidates nnd their
totals nnd majorities were reduced by
that number. This gives Superintend
ent Orurn n majority of four votes , but
tills may ho changed by the ofllolul
cotint and ' increased
Mr. Ornm's majority
creased or n majority given Mr. Barnes.
Nothing has boon hoard that will
ohnngo the results on other olllcora ,
moat of them receiving such majorities
that n few votes will not effect.
The rnco between Bauoh nnd Winter
for the clerkship wan oloso , but the
change of five votes in Jefferson in-
arouses Winter's uuoftlcnl majority to 17
nnd ho in probably oleotodns the otllcinl
count is not likely to show enough
change to give Mr. Bunch the victory.
THURSDAY TIDINGS.
J. F. Twnniloy of Omnha is hero ou
business.
Prof. Chambers wan n passenger to
Madison today.
Judge J. B. Barnes returned nt noon
from n trip to the stnto capital.
Dr. 0. A. McKim paid professional
visits to Stantou nnd Battle Crook to
day.
day.W.
W. Z. King loft this morning for
Omaha to tnko n position in the olllco of
the creamery company.
F. L. Campbell of Omaha bettor
known hero as "Terra Ootta , " is greet
his Norfolk friends today.
J. T. Thompson has been called to
Allison , Iowa , by n message announcing
the HQrlons illness of his father.
Mr. Orlu Trowbridgo of Columbus ,
Wls. , is visiting nt the homo of W. H.
Butterfiold for n few days nnd looking
ever the country.
Mr. nnd Mrs. Stons Mathowson are
preparing to go to housekeeping iu their
homo on North Eleventh street , lately
vacated by John Friday.
Mr. nud Mrs. R. II. Reynolds left this
morning for West Liberty , lown , cnlled
by n message announcing the serious ill
ness of Mrs. Reynolds' mother.
Dr. G. W. Wilkinson is preparing to
move back to Norfolk from Lincoln nnd ,
with his daughter , will soon begin
housekeeping in ills residence on East
Madison avouno.
The small frame building east of
Marqunrdt's jewelry store is being lev
eled up nud n- new Bill pat under it.
Dftve'Shoreo , porter attheOxuard , or *
poets to put n shoo-blackiug chair nud n
stock of cigars iu it.
Mrs. Mnyuio Clonvor of Neligli will
bo in Norfolk tomorrow to inspect the
Woman's Relief Corps. The iuspoction
will take place iu the afternoon nnd a
full attendance of members is desired.
Ten will bo served after inspection.
A now game was successfully worked
by n smooth 'tin at Fremont. He
bought seine chickens of a farmer nud
told him to call at n neighboring store
for his pay. The farmer is still looking
for the pay or would bo satisllod with a
return of the poultry.
Wui. Pater , aged ( > ! ! , died at ! 2 o'clock
this naming at the homo of Henry .Fil
ler ou Braasoh avouuo , where he has
been boarding since July. Helms been
sick with stomach trouble for the past
three mouths. Ho leaves a son , Win.
Pater , jr. , who works iu the sngnr fac
tory , two daughters , and n sister , Mrs.
Frnuk Boche.
An oxohnngo perpetrates the follow
ing : A toddler of 5 , who n short time
before had beeu allowed to select oue
kitten from old Tabby's litter , the others
being drowned , was carried by his nurse
into the dimly lighted room to tnko his
first peep nt his triplet baby brothers.
Ho looked nt them critically and turning
to his mother , said , 'Mamma , lot's keep
the blue-eyed one. '
Jake Smith , claiming to bo a Penusyl
vnniu coal miner , was up before Police
Judge Hayes this morning on the charge
of disorderly conduct. The judge was
feeling tirst rate over his re-election as
justice of peace and lot him off with a
miuiminm line which with costs
amounted to $7.10. The fiuo was paid nud
Jake continued his search for a uiiuo
whore help was needed.
Joseph Hopkinsaged 10 , of Tildeu no-
cidently blow the top of his brother's
head off wbilo out hunting Monday.
The injured boy's name was John , 11
years of age , nud he lived until 8 o'clock
Tnesdny morning. The older boy was
explaining the working of his shot gun
when the weapon was discharged , with
the result stated. The boys are grand
sons of Oraudall Hopkins , the ' . .first settler
tlor in Antelope connty.
Sohnyler Quill : You may talk about
your independent fellows all yon please ,
but John Gannon over nt Edholui
comes nbout ns near being independent
as anybody yon ever saw. He hns n
fiuo farm nud that isn't nil. It's what
ho hns on the fnrm that makes him in-
depoudeut. A nice young orchard , a
good vineyard , n large walnut grove , n
big garden nud truck pntch with n largo
reservoir to water it nil. The reservoir
is stocked with fish. Plenty of them so
ho cnu always have enough for his own
nso. Hohna n nice house , 'tarn nud
other Improvements. What moro can n
limn auk ? After nil no man is BO inde
pendent ns n praotical fanner , like John
Gannon of Edholm.
The farmers of western Nebraska nro
complaining that jack rabbits hnvo in
creased in such numbers that tuny have
become n poft. The coyote ins boon
*
the deadly fee of the rnbbltnnd Tnow
that ho hns boon killed off ns n matter of
protection to chickens nnd young pigs
nnd sheep the jack rabbit is multiplying
rapidly nnd doing much damage to
fruit trees nnd grain crops. The
farmers are planning organized hunts
this winter to rodnco the number of
rabbits.
BEGA.
Miss Mary Hohdrickson is visiting In
Fremont for a short time. )
Mr. Hyland of Stauton was iu th'H
vicinity ou business Saturday. ,
Mr. Shullz and daughter wont to
Norfolk ou business Saturday.
Chan. Wilson nnd sister wont to Norfolk -
folk to do some shopping Saturday.
Robert Elliott visited with his parents
in Winsido Saturday aud Snudny.
Andrew Olson nnd Bornnrd A upline
spout Saturday nud Suudny with friends
iu Wnyuo.
Andrew Olson wont to Kiiox county
Wednesday to visit with his sister for a
short timo.
Miss Gussio Lundqnist , who teaches
south of Stantou , speut Sunday with
her parents.
On account of the rainy weatherRev.
Winfrey did not fill his appointment
Saturday aud Sunday.
The Epworth league was well at
tended Sunday evening. The meeting
was led by Clara Hondricksou.
WARNERVILLE.
Mrs. Bowlosby of Silver Crook is the
guest of her sister , Mrs. G. W. Hills.
The dauco and oyster snppor given by
the local ledge of Modern Woodmen
Friday evening of last weekwns ] n great
success , there be.UK n largo attendance.
The ledge netted a neat sum of money
for the treasury.
At the eloctiou Tuesday the republi
cans elected the following p'ooinct of
ficers : assessor , F. Z. McGiunisjustices ;
of the peace , O. D. Mansou nud O. A.
Sleeper ; coustnblos , W. P. Rowlott nnd
FrodO'Dell ; rend overseer , in district
No. 1 ( > , Israel Miller. In road district
No. 0 , J.Hoohno , democrat , was elected.
Card of Thanks.
Wo desire to thank the neighbors nnd
friends who so kindly assisted during
the long sickness of our husband nnd
father nnd for. the welcome/ sympathy
' they hnvo expressed * sinco1 his' doatlr.
MRS. D. F. SiDLBii.
FRED SIDLEK.
MKS. LOTTIE DAVIS.
EARL SIDLER.
NorlliTii WIsconHln Kullivny Kiirni I.nmlii
; For Snle.
The Chicago , St. Paul , Minneapolis
ifc Omaha railway has for sale in North
ern Wiscousin , nt low prices and easy
terms of payment , nbout 350,000 acres
of choice farm lauds.
Early buyers will secure the advan
tage of locations ou the many beautiful
streams aud lakes , which abound with
fish aud furnish a never ending and
most excellent water supply , both for
family use nud for stock.
Laud is generally well timbered , the
soil fertile and easy of cultivation and
this is rapidly developing into one oi
thi ) greatest sheep aud cattle raising
regions in the northwest.
Chicago , Milwaukee , St. Paul , Minn
eapolis , Dnluth , Superior , Ashlaud nnc
other towns ou "Tho Northwestern
Line" furnish good markets for stock
and farm produce.
For further particulars address :
GEO. W. BELL ,
Laud Commissioner , Hudson Wis. , or
G. H. MACRAE ,
Asst. Geu'lPass. Ag't.St. Paul , Minn
The only direct route between Call
fornin nud the east is the Union Pacific
"The Overland Route. " This was the
first road to span the coutiuout witl
bands of steel. It made friends iu those
early dnys it is making thorn now , ou
account of its superior service am
superb equipment and quick trains.
For full information call on or nddres
J. B. Elsoffer , ageut.
Relief for Stout Women.
The "Nomo Self-Reducing" is the
only corset for stout women that positively
tivoly reduces the abdomen , relieve
those who nro physicnlly weak , gives n
graceful figure nnd assures a perfect fit
ting dross. All this is accomplished by
the "Self-Bednoing Idea , " a now
method of adjusting.
See exhibit in south show window.
See the 00 cents pleated satin belts w
are selling for 25 cents.
MRS. J. BENSON ,
South 10th street ,
Omaha , Nebr.
The complete service of "The Ohio
ngo-Portland Special" via Union Pacific
enables passongerajo reach the princl
pal cities between the north and Pacifi
coast nud Missonrl river not only in th
shortest possible space of time , but nls
iu the most comfortable nud eujoynbl
manner. The dining cars on this train
are stocked with the host the marko
affords. All meals served n la carte.
I *
THE STinnup CUP : '
My iliort and hippy iliy Ii done )
The long ind lonely night come * on ,
Anil it my door the p.ilc IIOFM
To cirry me to unknown lands.
till whinny ulirlll. his
Sound dreadful * i Rithrrlnic'ttorm ,
And I timsl leave tlili ihclterliiff 'root
And Joyi o ( life > o toft ind warm.
Tender ind warm the jnyi of 111 ? ;
( lood frlrndi. the faithful ind the true ;
My tony children ind nj wife ,
So meet to UM , 10 fair Io ylew ,
So sweet to kiss , to fair to view ;
The bight comet on , the lights burn blue ,
And 'it my door the pale home litandi
To bear me forth to unknown lands.
John lUy ,
A NOVEL HOTEL BILL ,
The Man to Whom II Wn Presented
Could Nut Understand H.
"Talking nbout bookkeeping , there
used to bo n man In Ynukton .whoso
system of bookkeeping accounts was
wonderfully ctllclent. lie kept q hotel ,
nd he could neither rend nor write.
*
Iu did not know how to spell his own
a mo , but he did n thriving business
ud collected every dollar of his , nc-
omits. Once , years ago , when I first
amo to this country , I went to his heel -
el nnd Mopped there two weeks , "
vrltOH Milt Hrlnben.
"When I left , ho presented me with n
tntcmont of what I owed him , nnd It
vns n curiosity. He had copied It from
ils ledger. At the top of the sheet
here was a rude picture of a soldier
u the march nnd after it three strnlght
nnrks. Then there was a scene show-
tig n man at table eating. Then np-
learal a bed with a tnnu tn It. In the
mount column there was n picture of
i doll nnd after It the two letters "RS. "
After the picture of n man oatlng there
vero forty-two marks ; aftef the view
of the man In the bed , fourteen marks.
looked nt the account , then nt the
iroprletor , and told him It would tnko
no n week to answer that conundrum.
"I wns completely stumped , nnd when
lint hotel man deciphered the amount
or me It was this : The picture of the
soldier wnlUIng meant march , nnd the
hree marks supplied the date , March
J , when I began boarding. The man
nt the tnble with forty-two marks nfter
t Indicated that I bad eat MI forty-two
ncnls. The mnn In bed with fourteen
umrks showed that I had slept In the
louse fourteen nights. The doll with
thp 'RS' nfter It meant 'dollars , ' nnd
n the figure columns nppenrcd the fig
ures 14 , which wns the amount I owed
him. And it was n true bill. " Yank-
ion Press.
A Pemlnn Barber.
(
A Persian barber works In n style
very different from that In vogue In
this country. A typical shop is n
square room , with one side open to the
street. In the center Is a tiny bed of
lowers sunk In the floor , from the
middle of which rises nn octngonnl
stone column nbout three feet high.
The cnpltnl of the column forms n
receptacle for the wnt'of In w.hlch the
jnrbcr dips his hand'as he shaves his
customer's scalp. In Persia they do
not Inther. The shop is very clean. In
two recesses stand four vnses filled
with flowers and the Implements of the
Imrbor's nrt scissors , razors , lancets ,
hand mirrors , large pinchers to extract
teeth , branding Irons to cauterize the
arteries In amputating limbs , strong
combs , but not a hairbrush , for that
Implement Is never used by Persians.
From the barber's girdle hang a
round copper water bottle , his strop ,
nnd a pouch to hold his Instruments.
In his bosom Is n small mirror , the
; ircsentntion of which to his customers
Is n sign that the job l.s finished nnd
that the barber waits for his pay. The
barber shaves the bends of his custom
ers , dyes their beards , pulls their teeth ,
blisters and bleeds them when nlling ,
sots their broken bones nnd shampoos
their bodies. Exchange.
oi l/npnc of Memory.
Cases of forgetfulness on matters of
Interest nro on record. While Dr.
Priestley wns preparing his work en
titled "Ilnrmony of the Gospels" ho
had taken Rrent pnlns to inform him
self on n subject which had been under
discussion relative o the Jewish Pass
over. He wrote out the result of his
researches and laid the paper nwny.
Ills attention nnd time being taken
with something else , some little time
elapsed before the subject occurred to
his mind again. Then the same time
nnd pains were given to the subject
that had been given to It before , nnd
the results were again put on paper
nnd laid nsldc. So completely had ho
forgotten that he had copied the same
paragraphs and reflections before that
It was only when he had found the
papers on which he had transcribed
them that it was recalled to his recol-
Icctlpn. This same author had fre
quently rcr.d his own published writIngs -
Ings nud did not recognize them.
An Expert.
Professor If n person In good health ,
but who Imagined himself sick , should
send for you , what would you do ?
Medical Student Give him some
thing to make him sick nnd then administer -
minister nn antidote.
Professor Don't waste any more
time hero. Hang out your shingle.
New York Weekly.
In Temptation's 'War.
Jones Has your wife got her new
hat yet ?
Brown No ; I've given her the money
for it several times , but she has spent
It on some great , glorious bargain she ,
saw before she got to the milliner shop.
Detroit Free Press.
Some people expect fortune to break
In the door and announce her arrival
through a megaphone. Nashville Ban
ner.
About the only way to convert sorqe
people is to leave them alone. Dallas
News
- - You
flllenrn Cnn Sre.
There Is no such thing HH Hllcncc In
this world. It IB , an Impossibility. That
IH plirtly the reason why science has en
abled im to see It.
The explanation of the parndox la
this : Silence , im we understnnd It , Blm-
ply mi'iins that there nre sounds too
delicate or too loud for the enr to regis
ter. In other words , when we cnu't
hear anything we cnll that condition
"silence. " But whcrev'er ' you nre there
nro sounds around you. Even In the
deepest mine the nlr vlbrntcs nnd
makes U sound.An Instrument hna
boon Invented thnt will cntch these
sounds nnd permit of the vibrations be
ing represented plctorlally on a screen ,
and In 'that way you may BOO silence
nnd properly understnnd Avhnt It
means.
Hy comparing'the pictures of nolsca
with these of that condition of things
known as silence we galn'nn'Jflea of the
difference between n noisy 'tilg ht. Tor
Instance , nnd ono when "nbsolute si
lence VelgnB , " HB the novelist puts It. It
IH rather surprising to find HO much dls-
turbau'ce nt the time when everything
npiH-Mirs to bo perfectly quiet. Pear
son's Weekly.
Diplomatic.
The Into Lord Snvlle' used to say , nc-
cording to The Cnudld Friend , "thnt
high diplomatists hud always to be on
their guard against Intriguing women ,
mainly Russian ngents , who would use
nuy wile to extract Informntlon. Dur
ing the Husso-Turklsh wnr , when Eu
rope was nlwnys on the verge of a
crisis nnd Hnsslnn stntesmcn were
most anxious to know what England
would do under given circumstances ,
n lady cnme up toMihn suddenly nt n
bnll nnd said :
"I hear thnt the Russlnns hnve mnde
n forced march nud entered Constnn-
tlnople , " hoping no doubt that he would
be surprised Into some Indiscreet ex
pression.
He merely replied :
"Incod ! And 1 suppose the sultan
hns conferred on them the order of the
Turkish Hath ! "
The lady continued gravely :
"And they say In Paris that If Eng
land does not Interfere the eastern
question Is settled in favor of Russia. "
"And that , " replied his excellency.
"Is , I suppose , the new judgment of
Paris. "
Wood Tou Hard to Darn.
There are certain kinds of wood thnt
are too hard to burn , or refuse to Ignite
for some other reason , such ns Ironwood -
wood and the good brier root , but it Is
a curiosity to come across 'a piece of
common uenl the soft , light wood of
which so many boxes are made that
cannot be set-tire to.
„
The piece of wood In question wns
common white denl from Sweden , but
wns remarkable for its comparative
weight. It had formed part of n bent
belonging to a whaler and had been
dragged below the surface of the wa
ter to the. depth of more than half a
mile by it' Harpooned' whale ? > The-
length' or lltfe aMd * tile sborr dlstHnce'
from the point of descent after being
struck at which the whale rose to the
surface was a proof of the depth to
which It had dragged the boat.
Only part of the boat came up again
nt the end of the line , nnd It was taken
on board when the wlinle had been
killed. Thnt piece of wood was so
hard that It would not burn In a gas
Jet. The weight of water had com
pressed It London Standard.
SOUK * .
A French writer. Henri Coupon , says
that , notwithstanding the fact of their
simplicity , the songs of birds cannot be
imitated with musical Instruments be
cause of the impossibility of reproduc
ing their peculiar timbre. The notes of
birds , while corresponding with our
musical scale , nlso include vibrations
occupying the Intervals between our
notes. The duration of birds' songs Is
usually very short , two or three seconds
ends for thrushes nnd chntllnchcs , four
or five seconds for blackbirds , but from
two to live minutes for the lark.
A SiiImoii'M I.i'iip. ' * > : J
One of the directors of the Norwegian
fisheries has been endeavoring to dis
cover the height a salmon will leap
when clearing n wnterfnll which ob
structs Its passage up stream. Masts
were plnced below the fall to Insure
accurate measurements. It la stntcd
that a fish cau leap to the height of
twenty feet. When a fish failed to
clear the fall at one bound , it remained
In the falling water nnd then , with n
rnpld twist of the body , gave a spring
and wns successful.
Aliout tlie Limit.
"Bllklns , wbnt Is the most mortify
ing thing you can conceive of ? "
Bllklns I guess It's when n worann's
sous having grown over the head oC
their father , who Is of small stature ,
the thrifty mother hns the outgrown
clothes of her sous rcvnmped for the
old gentleman's use. New York Times.
IIU First Imprcimloii.
Civil Service Examiner What do
you know about Budapest ?
Applicant For Position on Police
Force Budapest Is the name of a cat
tle disease. It Is usually fatal ! Chicago
cage Tribune.
Her Age. \
Judge How old are you , madam ? '
Witness ( hesitatingly ) I am thnt
Is , I-
Judge Out with It ! The longer you
wait the older you will grow.
Tire of a Kind.
Guest What u splendid dinner ! I
don't often get ns good n rnenl ns this.
Little Willie ( sou of the host-We )
don't either. ,
The word "mile" comes from the Lnt-
In "mllle-n thousand. A thousand
paces of n inarching soldier mnde the
Roman mile. , .