in THE NORFOLK NEWS : FRIDAY , SEPTEMBER ,0 1001.
WEDNESDAY WRINKLES.
Joseph Stolnbaugh of Beemer is visit
ing Norfolk friends.
Dr. P. H. Suitor was called to Lynch
today on professional business.
Miss Mamie Houbnry of Plalnvlnw IH
visiting with Mlns Margaret Morrow.
Miss Myrtle Wood of Ou pnr , Wyo
ming , is vlxiting Mrs. W. H. Hliikonmn ,
Gcorgo KIOHO and Hinter , Enitmno , of
Molt mm , 111. , are expected today and
will visit with their aunt , Mrs. 0. O.
Elgin ,
The Bachelor girls enjoyed a picnic
mippor on the lawn at the home of
MlnscH Edith and Nolllo Morrow Mon
day afternoon.
Benjamin Hold of Ouster , S. I ) . , has
ncoopted a position as traveling sales
man with the NIOO firm for which
Homer Winder travels , and will inako
Norfolk his hoadquurtorn.
W. G. Baker IH able to bo on the
HtreotH again after a slego with a broken
collar bono. He was thrown from a
\ bronco ho WHH attempting to ride in
the western part of the Htuto about two
weeks ago , when ho received the In
jury.
atorrn MathewHOii traded bioyoloH at
the ball game yesterday afternoon , "un
sight and unseen" that is some other
fellow did all the trading and Mr.
MathowHon got much the worst of the
bargain , un the wheel substituted for bin
was an inferior machine.
August Riggert , ( not Hookard ) , the
man who was hurt in a runaway Satur
day night is still in a dangerous
condition and his ehancoH of recovery
are very nllm. An operation would bo
attempted but it is considered that ho
could not stand the administration of
chloroform. Besides internal injuries
ho is sutVering from a broken shoulder ,
and several broken ribs. Ho is conscious
aud has been adjusting his property in-
I i teroHtH and making bin will. He owns
some valuable farming lauds and pro
poses that there shall bo a fair division
of the property.
A largo roll of heavy woven wire
fencing was taken from the J. W. Ed
wards pasture , north of the tracks ,
sometime during last night. The roll
contained about ! ! 00 feet of fencing and
was worth about $20. Mr. Edwards
had taken it down and was to bring it
in today to make a pou for his colt , but
when ho went after it the roll had dis
appeared. Wagon and hoof tracks were
in evidence to show that it had boon re
moved with the aid of a team and
wagon but the trail could not bo fol
lowed for any considerable distance.
Chief of Police Couloy's blood hound
was given the scout but ref used to act
aud no trace of the stolen property has
been discovered.
Rev. H. E. Ryder and bride arrived
from England last night on the 7:2 : ( )
train from the east. A telegram was
received at1 o'clock yesterday after
noon announcing that they would bo
hero and a hurried reception was
planned by some of the young folks. A
hay rack was provided and decorated
in national colors. In this the Boys
and Girls band , consisting of 25 or ! ! ( )
little folks and a portion of Mr. Ryder's
Sunday school class , was taken to the
depot. The travelers were welcomed
with singing by the children aud with
demonstrations of aiVeution aud delight
on their part. Mr. and Mrs. Ryder
were invited to join the hay rack party
mid were taken the homo of Mr. aud
Mrs. Wilkinson at the Junction , where
tea was served. Afterward they in-
bpectod the parsonage , which had boon
arranged for their reception.
WARNERVILLE.
Miss Ollie Munsou is attending the
High school at Norfolk.
Mrs. Harry Cuninguaui wont to Col
umbus Tuesday to visit her sister.
Mrs. John Oonloy aud children will
start for Fairfield , Iowa , next Friday
morning , to visit relatives.
The ice cream supper given by the
members of the Modern Woodmen ledge
last Friday evening was well patron
ized.
ized.Miss
Miss Gertie Miller returned to her
homo in Omnhu Saturday after a visit
extending over several weeks with her
grandparents , Mr. and Mrs. 0. D. Muu
sou.
sou.Tho
The Waruorvillo base ball team wont
to Battle Crook Sunday aud were
whipped m good shape. The score
standing 20 to I. The umpire was a
Battle Creek man.
MADISON.
8
"W. L. Berry's now house is enclosed.
Miss Mabel Whitla is visiting with
the family of her brother.
H. B. Allen and Arnold Iloihuau were
Humphrey visitors Monday.
Madison schools will open the 10th ,
the first Monday after the fair.
Horst Bros , are just finishing the
work of putting in the f uruaco in the
\
court houso.
Frank Peterson is clerking for Gill-
ospio during the absence in Indiana of
Wm. Isenhower.
Jos. Johnson of Enid , Oklahoma , is
visiting friends hero. According to his
opinion , there are better places on earth
ihaii that.
The Prince building is rapidly nearing -
ing completion. It will bo occupied by
Prince & Johnson , who will put in n
tock of general merchandise.
Mrs. Jns , B , Hume , Mr , and Mrs.
Pot or Kubondall and Mr. and Mrs. Cor-
boll Hlnrted for Colorado Monduy for a
titroo-wcoks' outing In the mountains.
The comity fair will begin Tuesday
next. KutiioH are already being made
and stalls engaged. With a good rain
to settle the dust , prospects for a largo
attendance will bo the butt.
There were several passengers for
Lincoln Monday , to visit the state fair.
Among thorn were Thomas HoHonborg
and Hlster , Paul Hrinkman , Jos. Pruohor
and son and Fred Miirtindalo and wife.
| P Hut * on a WriM'k.
A correspondent of the Newcastle
Chronicle dewc-rUica n striking scene
wltneHseil at tlio breaking up of the
vi'BHi-1 Uothcnlwrg City on .St. Mary's
Uiaml , oil tlio coast of Northumber
land.
Tlio vt'HHol might Imvn been sailing
comfortably out of harbor for aught
that appeared except that there wan
no Hlgn of life on board. Wo tiait no
iiooiiur put foot on deck , however , than
wo were furiously attacked by swarms
of rats.
Great , hungry , lank , lean looking
rats , many of them with their tails
chewed olT , swarmed up rtttfui below In
hundreds and thoucmndH , squeaking
and squirming over each other In a
manner sickening ami horrible to bo-
hold.
Those of us who bad stepped on deck
ran to the rigging , while the others
scrambled hurriedly back Into the boat
Our position In the rigging was dan
gerous In the extreme. It was more
than one's life WUH worth to attempt
to run tlie gantlet of those fierce , starv
ing rodents , and to remain In the rig
ging wan equally Impracticable.
At lant we cut oft Home IOOHO ropes ,
knotted them , Into convenient lengths
and , HO armed , descended and fought
our way through the squealing hordes
and eventually succeeded in beating a
passage to tlio boat
It seemed us If the rats knew the Im
pending fate of the vessel , for they no
sooner saw us over the Hide than they
began to swarm down the ropes and
try to enter the bout It was with diffi
culty that wo could beat tlinn off be
fore casting clear. And they squeaked
In a horrible manner as we rowed
away.
A few hours later the Gothenburg
City went to pieces.
Deviled to tlir Lord.
The most remarkable deed ever
drawn may bo seen on the private es
tate of a resident of Worcester In Mas
sachusetts. It Is chiseled on a reckon
on what Is known as Rattlesnake hill ,
situated near the boundary line be
tween Worcester and Leicester.
Old Solomon Parsons , who was wide
ly known In Worcester county as an
eccentric character , and particularly
as a crank on the subject of religion ,
paid William 0. Hall $125 for a parcel
of land , and directed Hall to convey It
by deed to the Almighty. In order
that the greatest possible publicity
might be given to his disposition of the
property Parsons had the deed of
transfer cut Into the rock verbatim et
literatim.
During his lifetime Parsons Is said
to have made several attempts to have
the deed recorded , but the register of
deeds , who was aware of his eccen
tricity , each time put him off with the
explanation that no official record was
required In the case of a transfer of
real estate to the Almighty.
Parsons died Intestate several years
ago , and the administrator Included
the parcel of land on Rattlesnake hill
In the Inventory of the old gentleman's
estate which ho filed In the probate
court. A wag of a lawyer raised the
question of title , but the Judge decided
lu the favor of the administrator.
Now York Journal.
Aitrcdoteit of Colonel HKC.
Colonel Ege was a famous character
lu the early days. Although living In
Doulphau county , he was often In Atch-
Ison. followed by a pack of hounds.
Ho was n high toned southern gentle
man , with a kind heart.
One day while returning home from
this city he came across a man whoso
wagon was stuck In the mud In Inde
pendence creek bottom. Colonel Ege
at once started In to help the man pry
out his wagon with a fence rail.
While both were working away Ege
became angry and yelled to the man ,
"Lift , you son of a gun ; you are not
lifting a pound. " The man picked up
the end gate of the wagon and split It
over Ego's head , laying him up for
three weeks. Ege had his hat off when
he was struck and was so bald before
coming to Kansas that he was known
as the Bald Eagle of Maryland.
Ege always carried a pistol and was
always trying to shoot through some-
bodv's hat without hitting him. Quo
day , at the Independence creek ferry ,
he shot at a man , but aimed a little
low and creased him. But Ege was
always a gentleman ; he took the man
Into his home and tenderly cared for
him until he recovered. Atchlson
Globe.
Knturnl DlmidrnndiKei.
"Taking into consideration the tilings
Sharp has had to contend against I
think his success as a lawyer has been
remarkable. "
"Why , what did be ever have to con
tend against ? "
"Everything. He came of a wealthy
family. Ho didn't have to work his
way through college. Ho never studied
by the light of a pine torch , never had
to drive a dray , never walked six tnllea
to school and wasn't compelled to bor
row bis books. He had every possible
facility , and yet he has done well from
the very start. " Chicago Tribune.
The father of the game of whist , Ed-
mend Hoyle , lived to be 07 years old.
His treatise on cards has been pub
lished lu all languages , and probably no
work except the Bible has passed
through more editions. The original
work appeared In London lu 1742.
THURSDAY TIDINGS.
M. J. Hughes won u city visitor yes
terday from Battle Crock.
Father Wiildh returned from n trip to
St. Joseph , Mo. , last night.
Minn ChrlBtliio Hanson of Tildou in
veiling nt tlio homo of Mrs. Pilgor.
A. H. Allliiflou has gene to Olilcngo to
nttoud tlio wedding of his ulster.
Trinity Social Guild will give a hop
on Wednesday evening , September 11 ,
in thu Must hull.
Walter Pilgor has gouo to Columbia ,
Mo. , to enter the medical department of
the Htnto university.
Twenty horses for the English cav
alry wore purchased at Albion and 17 nt
Columbus last week.
Frank Thum was ca'led ' to Coleridge
tills morning by n telegram announcing
the death of his mother.
Miss Etta Durland has returned from
the east where she wont to purchase the
fall and winter stock of millinery for
Durland sisters.
Bon Harshingor and family have re
turned from an enjoyable summer vaca
tion trip to Idaho Springs , Deliver and
other points of interest in Colorado.
Oluir Blakely resigned his position as
night operator lit the Junction yester-
lay and loft this morning for Sioux City
where ho will at once begin work in a
better position.
Goo. Myers was before police court
this morning oharged with disorderly
ouduct. Ho was arrested at 2 o'clock
this morning while trying to outer n
house on South Fifth street. The usual
line was assessed against him and paid.
The World-Herald says : "Tho Omaha
Originals defeated Norfolk today in a
peculiar game. After having three
pitchers batted out of the box the Origi
nals found Steele in the ninth for eleven
runs and turned n defeat into victory. "
Dr. Goo. L Miller of Omaha was hero
yesterday. Ho visited Superintendent
Teal at the hospital for the iusauo and
niado a personal inspection of the in
stitution. Lost evening ho greeted old
friends at the Oxuard whoso acquaint
ance was made at an early date when
the doctor paid frequent visits to Nor
folk.
folk.Last
Last evening's storm did considerable
damage at Beukolmau. The United
Presbyterian church was bowii ! off its
foundation and demolished , while many
small buildings and windmills were
torn down and destroyed. No one was
hurt as far as could bo learned. The
rain fell in torrents and the wind was
the most severe over experienced there.
O. E. Stitt and F. 0. White , under
the firm name of Stitt & White , have
purchased the plumbing business of W.
II. llish and are now in possession. Mr.
Stitt is a practical plumber , having
boon with the Northwestern railroad
for the past ton years as plumber and
steam fitter , making his headquarters
at Fremont during the greater part of
that time. Mr. llish will devote his at
tention for the present to finishing two
houses and will then develop the sewer
system for which ho was recently
granted a franchise by the city council.
A large Russian named Kaufman ,
after filling up on some of Wm. Berner's
choice drinks.uudertook to run his place
of business Tuesday afternoon. Beriier
objected and started to throw him out.
Quito a light ensued in which both re
ceived some rather severe bruises but
Beruer seemed to come out rather best
man. Yesterday Kaufman was brought
before" police court and assessed a fine
for disorderly conduct which he paid.
Yesterday a Bohemian named John
Dorr also wont up against Bernor and
he was assessed a fine today which he
paid.
paid.Tho
The splendid rain of last evening was
a genuine blessing , even though it came
too late to bo of much benefit to matur
ing crops. It laid the dust thoroughly
and will probably start the grass for
fall pasturing , if other rains follow to
assist its growth. It will also be of ad
vantage in fall plowing , the soil having
been very much too dry for that work.
All that fell was absorbed during the
night by the thirsty earth and the mud
produced was dried beforojuoon of to
day. The rain commenced falling about
0'M : ) last evening and kept it up quite
persistently until about 9 o'clock.
The corner stouo of the North opera
house is to bo laid at Columbus on the
llth. J. E , North was largely instru
mental in the success of the venture and
the building will bo named after him and
the corner stone laid on his birthday.
Stock to the amount of $17,000 has been
taken and it will cost this sum , or more ,
to complete the building contemplated.
Columbus has long been working for an
opera house worthy of the city and its
success may bo of advantage in secur
ing good attractions for Norfolk as it
will help constitute a circuit in this part
of the state that the best companies can
make with convenience and profit.
The now comedy , "Which is Who ? "
in which P. H. Livingstone and Mr.
and Mrs. H. S. Livingstone of this city
are interested , was presented to a
crowded house in the Overland theatre
at Nebraska City Monday evening and
the criticisms of the entertainment by
the Nebraska City papers are exceed
ingly favorable. The audience was good
humored and improved the many oppor
tunities for a good laugh to the utmost.
The Press says the company "made the
greatest hit of any season. The opening'
of the theatre and of thn company was
n great social feature. Everyone was
thuro. Society filled the boxes and
every available space in the houso. The
comedy , with the introduced spocialtiop ,
proved ono of the best evening's enter
tainments that has over been seen hero.
F. H. Livingstone is ono of the best
comedians who have over appeared in
this city. His voice is good and annun
ciation perfect and with his counterpart ,
Hardy , make a hard team to boat.
Wherever they go a good house should
greet them , and they have demonstrated
hero that they are worthy the best sup
port. " With this sort of recommend on
their first appearance from the people of
Nebraska City it will not IHJ surprising
If the company's season in a brilliant
success. The people of Norfolk may
well anticipate a great deal of pleasure
from the performance to bo given hero
later in the season.
All About a Slmiarnre.
Tellers and clerks of savings banks
have n rare opportunity to Btudy hu
man nature. All worts of people , with
many Htrnngc notions of tlio methods
and purposes of banks , como before
them. A teller of a Huston savings
bank tells a true story of a good Irish
woman who came to the bank to open
an account
"Please write your nnmo on that
Hue , " mild the olllclul , pushing toward
the woman a book and a pen.
"Do ypz want mo first name ? " EDO
naked , taking the pen In her hand.
"Yes , your full name and middle
Initial If you have any. "
"Do ycz want me husband's name ? "
"Yes , hla last name , but your own
first name. "
"Oh , me name before I was mar
ried ? "
"No , your given name Ellen or
Brldgct"-
"Sure , then , me name is nayther
wan o' them ! "
"Well , what Is it then ? "
"Sure , it's Mary. "
"Very well. There are others wait
ing for you , so please hurry and write
your name. "
"Ah , sure , do ycz want the 'Mrs.1"
"No , never mind that. Now go
ahead. "
"Ah , sure , mlstor , I would , honest ,
but ye BOO I can't write ! " Youth's
Companion.
lie Saved the Drldfre.
"At Harpers Perry on ono occasion
the Hood In the Potomac was BO great
that It threatened the destruction of
the costly railroad bridge , which was
Eeen to shake in Its unsteadiness , " said
former Governor Thomas G. Jongs.
"When everybody present was looking
each moment to see the bridge go
down , President John W. Garrett of
the naltlmore and Ohio railroad arriv
ed upon the scene. Appreciating the
necessity of Instant action , he gave an
abrupt order for a loaded train of
freight cars standing on a si Jo track to
be rim with the locomotive on to the
bridge and kept there.
" 'But , Mr. Garrett , that Is a trainload -
load of silk , ' said the local superintend
ent.
" 'I don't care ; run out the carsP
commanded the great master of rail
roads. 'It would be easier to pay for
the silk than to build a new bridge. '
"The 'silk train' was run on to the
bridge , and the structure was saved.
The silk was being sent by rail across
the continent from San Francisco , at
which port It had been received from
China and Japan. Garrett was a great
man , one of the greatcot of those who
have aided In the material development
of America. In emergencies he was
very resourceful , as was demonstrated
In perhaps a small way by the Har
pers Ferry incident" Birmingham
Age-Herald.
Cardft on the Cars.
"Cards are not played aa much on
the cars as they used to be , " said the
commercial traveler. "A few years
ago It was a common sight to see three
or four games , whist , euchre , poker or
seven up , going on In a car , and wher
ever four or five drummers were gath
ered together there was sure to be a
lively game of draw In progress. Sub
urban trains were turned into whist
clubs , and morning and night the com
muters were engaged In a rubber.
"But all this has been changed. Now
adays It Is the hardest thing in the
world to get up a game of any kind In a
train. Ask a stranger If he would like
to take a hand at whist or euchre , and
he will freeze you with a suspicious
look. And , what Is worse , he la entire
ly Justified In his suspicions.
"In the last ten years the railroads of
this country have been the harvest for
gamblers , bunko men and short card
experts. They have worked the field to
the limit , from Now York to California
and from Vermont to Florida. They
have worked all kinds of fllmtlam
games , until now It Is almost Impossi
ble for a man to flash a deck of cards
In tlio smoking compartment of a Pull
man without the atmosphere growing a
dozen degrees colder. A man who has
been bitten once doesn't care to have
the experience repeated. " Rochester
Post-Express.
The Effect of II1 Face ,
An amusing story Is told at the ex
pcnsc of Winston Churchill , the author
An old man , seeing the picture of
Churchill displayed In the window of a
Baltimore bookseller , Inquired of a by
standcr whom It represented.
"Winston Churchill , " was the reply.
"Where does ho preach ? "
Being told that Mr. Churchill was no
a preacher , he asked : "Ain't he ? Wha
did you say his name Is ? "
"Winston Churchill. lie writes nov
els. "
"Docs what ? "
"Writes novels. "
The man shook his head with a look
of pity and declared : "Too badt To\
bad ! He has a good face/ '
OLD AGE IN THE SOUTH.
( Jood SporlltiK Illoiid 11 Tlirllllnfr
Htiintlli } ' HVPII In Di-cllnltiK Y ! iir .
"Homo one has paid , " remarked Jack
Tolllfcr , "that the closing years In the
life of a southern gentleman arc sad
and lonely ; that the man who leads
an out of ( leer life , hunting and horse
racing , lint ) no resources left with which
to lighten his old age. Well , It may bo
so , but It seems to mo that that's a
rather swooping statement Just take
my Undo Archie In Virginia , whom I
visited during the holidays three years
ago.
" 'Why , Jack ! ' ho exclaimed as he
met me at the door of the square old
fashioned homestead. 'I am glad to sec
you. Como right In and make yourself
comfortable. '
" 1 followed him Into the dining room ,
where the carved oaken legs of the
old side table were almost bowed un
der the game and fruits and wines.
" 'Yes , Jack , ' my uncle said when
we were seated , 'It certainly docs seem
good to see you , and 1 only wish you'd
como oftener. But I suppose I'm get-
In to bo poor company for a young
chap like you. The boys , they have
heir liuntln and ridln , but wo old fol-
ows have to just sit round and think
t all over. No more foxes or coons
vhcn your knees get feelln that stiff
vay. I guess there Isn't much left
n this world for your uncle now. But
t's a great comfort to sec you again ,
Jack ; 'deed It Is. '
"It did seem hard for an old widower
o bo living that lonely life , too old to
akc any part In the hunting that he
vas so fond of and with no one to talk
o but old Joe and Aunt Sally. Ills
ono remaining Interest seemed to cen-
cr In his pet horse , who , like hla mas-
cr , was of good thoroughbred stock ,
jut well on In years.
" 'Jack , ' my uncle said on the morn-
ng of my departure , 'Hobcrt L and I
nay bo well on past liuntln and rncln
days , but I'm goln to drive you down
o the station behind him , and , though
here may IK ? horses In the country
that are faster now , I don't think we'll
miss that train of yours by very much.
Joe , Just let that shovJIn rest awhile
and harness Hobcrt L to the light bug
gy. I shall drive Mr. Tolllfer to the
station. '
"The old darky touched his hat and
lobbied off to the stable. Soon ho re-
urned , leading Robert L with one
hand and dragging the clinking har
ness with the other. In the road he
st6pped , threw the lines over the horse
and hobbled back to fetch the buggy.
Just then we heard a shouting and the
sounds of galloping hoofs up the road.
Nearer and nearer they came until a
small party of horsemen dashed Into
sight and did not stop until they drew
rein In front of Uncle Archie.
" 'Colonel Tolllfer , ' the leader began
iroathlesaly , 'have you Been cr the
boys cr go by here lately ? Just
scared up a big red fox cr biggest
ever seen hero started up back of
" 'What ! ' shouted Uncle Archie , his
eyes suddenly snapping. 'Big red fox ?
First In two years ? No. Which way ?
[ haven't seen 'em. Goodby , Jack !
3od bless you , my boy ! Joe , ' he cried ,
you drive Mr. Tolllfer to the station ! '
"Sweeping the harness off , he scram
bled excitedly to Robert L's back and ,
without saddle or stirrup , flow on with
the rest In their mad tear down the
road. Soon I could only catch glimpses
between the clouds of dust of the white
whiskers blowing back over bis shoul
ders an Impressive reminder of that
old ago which , they sav , so saddens the
Ivos of gentlemen of the south. " New
York Sun.
Very CoiiHollnK.
A somewhat vexatious law In China
compels every doctor after dark to
liang up In front of his house as many
lighted lamps as ho has sent patients
Into the ncxi wet Id. One evening a
European , who was staying In Peking
on business , set out in search of a doc
tor for his wife , who had been sudden
ly taken 11U He called at the house of
a good many , but was deterred at the
large number of lamps exhibited be
fore each. At length , after tramping
about for several hours , he came to the
liouse of a doctor where only three
lamps shed a melancholy light over the
entrance. Our happy European dashed
Into the house of this excellent man ,
awoke him and took him off to his
lodgings.
"I presume you are the best practi
tioner In this city ? " he said to hla com
panion as they went along.
"What makes you think so ? "
"Because you have only three lan
terns hung over your door , while all
your colleagues have dozens displayed
on their house fronts. "
"Ah , Is that the reason ? " calmly re
plied the Celestial. "The fact is I only
lately set up in practice , and I have
had but three patients. " Now Haven
Union.
He Wni "Rather Crowded. "
"Can you give me a room for the
night ? " Inquired a travel stained pil
grim as ho halted at a 10 by 12 cabin In
a Georgia county.
"Doggone It , stranger , we uns hain't
got but one room In our shack , but
light , stranger , light an bide whcnst 1
run in an palaver with the ole 'ooman. "
In a few seconds "uilno host" ap
peared at the door.
"Powerfully sorry , stranger , but we
uns can't find you uns overnight Ole
'ooman 'Iowa ez how wo uns air goln
tor hev coinp'ny , an wo uns air goln ter
be ruther up a stump fer room. Ole
'ooman an granny air occerpyin the
fireplace corner , 'Llndy an the twlna
hez the next , Bob , Pete an lectio Jake
use the other , an If Lljc an his family
show up I reckon I'll hev tor give my
corner up > er them. Mought gin ye a
shakedown In the middle of the floor
but I'd hev tor turn ray seven bos
coon dogs out In the clcarln If I die
that. Right sorry , stranger , but you
nee wo uns air goln ter bo ruther
crowded tonight" Los Angeles Her
ald.
the ( Inn Cimiiinny.
" ' ' " 11111 cltl-
"I'll fix 'cm , said a Capitol
tun when he got his gas bill a couple of
nontlis ago. "Nine dollars and eighty
cents , hey , when we've beeu out every
ulght with the exception of two or
.hree for the past month ! I'll move , " * v
that's all , nt the end of the mouth , but
f I don't make that gas meter of mine
work overtime between now and the
day I move It'll be because I lun out
of maJ-ches , that's all ! I'll cat up about
> 10 worth of gas and then let the darn
ed gaa company keep the $5 I've got on
deposit ! "
Ho from that evening on as soon as
twilight fell the Capitol II111 man made
a tour of the house and lit every Jet
from cellar to garret.
"I'll teach 'cm to bunko folks ! " he
Bald to himself savagely as he started
all the burners a-going.
Along toward the end of the month
10 and his wife picked out another
louse and made arrangements for mov-
ng. The Capitol II111 man was delighted -
lighted when the gas bill read $29.00.
"This Is one time they won't gouge
me ! " ho shouted exultantly as he danc
ed around with the bill In his hand.
Three days before the day set for
moving his wife was taken 111 , and of
course the moving had to be declared
off. She Is only now convalescing. The
Capitol Hill man paid the $29.CO , antl
his friends are now telling him the
story about the man who robbed hla
own trunk. Washington , Post
Danny Lied.
Danny , who Is uu errand boy In a
broker's office , got a Job In the same V '
office for his chum Hurry. Danny set
ilmsclf tlio task of making Harry ap
pear to the best advantage during the
probationary period of his Job , and ho
Pound It necessary sometimes to use
means that were only Justified by the
end.
end.Every
Every afternoon Danny had to run
with messages from one of the ex
changes to the office , a distance of half
a mile. When Harry came , Danny had
to "break him In" to do this. The first
day that he made tl o trip from the
exchange Harry staggered Into the of
fice , gasping , with his eyes starting
from his head. For a moment ho
couldn't speak. The broker looked at
him In astonishment and said :
"You ran pretty fast , didn't you ?
How long did it take ? "
"Four minutes and 17 seconds , " Har
ry panted , looking at the clock.
"That's pretty good time , " said the
broker.
"No , sir , " said Harry ; "not very
? ood. Danny says he does It every
lay In a minute and a quarter. " New
York Commercial Advertiser.
A Flornl N'oncblccd.
Why speak of the lovely painted trll-
lums , with their three daintily crlu-
f
jled petals , streaked with rose purple ? /
says Bradford Torrey In The Atlantic. ( LOne
Ono after another I gathered them
[ pulled them , to speak with poetic lit-
eralncss ) , each fresher and handsomer
than the one before It till the white
stems made a handful.
"Oh , " said a man on n hotel piazza
as I returned , "I see you have nose-
bleed. " I was putting my hand to my
pocket , wondering why I should have
been taken so childishly , when It came
over me what he meant. He was lookIng -
Ing at the trllllums and explained , In
answer to a question , that he had al
ways heard them called nosebleed.
Somewhere , then I omitted to Inquire
where this Is their "vulgar" name. In
Franconla the people call them Benja
mins , which has a pleasant Biblical
sound better than nosebleed , at all
events though , to my thinking , tril-
llum Is preferable to either of them
both for sound and for sense.
An urchin In a country parish In
Scotland , having been told by his par
ents to read a newspaper aloud to
them , began to do so In the usual
drawling manner of the parish school
He had not proceeded far when his
mother stopped him short exclaiming :
"You rascal ! Uoo dare ye read a
newspaper wl' the Bible twang ? "
London Telecraph.
>
Palpi-
t&tlOfl ;
fluttering or irregular pulsa
tions are an indication of weak
ness of the nerves or muscles
of the heart. A weakness long
continued produces deformity
and organic disease. If your
heart adtion is weak , make it
strong. Build up the muscles
and strengthen the nerves with
the greatest of all heart reme
dies , Dr. Miles' Heart Cure.
"The least exertion or excitement - '
ment caused my heart to throb
and pound and I had smothering
spells , pain and palpitation.
Throe bottles of Dr. Miles' Heart
ure overcame all these dlsturb-
fnces and made me well. "
Mus. J. A. GOUTS ,
Upper Sandusky , Ohio. J
'
' > '
D * . Miles'
Heart Cute
quiets the nervous heart , regu
lates its pulsations and builds
up its strength as nothing else
can. Sold by druggists on a
guarantee ,
Dr. Mllee Medical Co. , Ellchart , Ind.