V A r feALLADE OF A STUBBORN LOVER NrvfT klm hf pvt lilm hrn Swift Mir vatilKlitd from out lilt tight Lout fRIra in mrikh ftn IMitivrhor ulnrrn cf tlic wUctinT light fitanth m lie nd her faithful knight Tlmt lnclrfd thf toulil not KRlnnay Murmuring not at her nuudcn Bight t Ah willow nd udladiyl r i Back hf turned to the haunts of mm V Mingled In with thr hitter fight r Caught the thrtail of the world again Nrxt r doubting In all 1cile Knew no wrong that n not her right Smiling still In the olden way Not resenting a fancied alight lfct Ah willow and welladayl JLft Rfckeil he little in passing then Whether on him would eorrow light I Thus to wander from out hl ken Fading arid dltappenrlng quite Though he bent to her heautyi might Never a prayer had he to pray Curw on him for A etuhliorn wight Ah willow and welladayl fNTOT Prince when the harda of earth rerlff They ttrikc the chords and insistent par Bomc will love though the loved one smite Ah willow and welladayl Kmest McCtflcy in January Womani Home Companion I The Instructive i Cseef Jenkins i Jenkins Is a bright young Inwycr who lins unt before n big empty desk for nonrly two years without earning enough to buy a whole suit of clothes Of course lieB busy It takes blm about ten hours a week to study out Ihe diplomatic possibilities of his nect encounter with his landlady Then there Is his affair at the restaurant He lina to keep watch of the holes in his incal ticket and look for chance In vitations to more BumptuouB mealB It took him nearly a year of llunnce with Chinese lauudrymen before he adopted celluloid What leisure he hud was un til lately occupied with a sort of credit correspondence with his father upon whom he is at liberty to draw only In cases of extreme necessity Jeukliis lina written home many really able definitions of extreme necessity All this may not prove that Jenkins Is willing to work but he Is mid he proved it last week lie olllces with an eminent lawyer This means In his case that he gets deskroom in ex change for his services as olllcu boy court messenger and a few more im portant vicarious duties In the same office with Jenkins there is Stack the clerk whose chief excuse for being there Is that he Is nephew to the afore Bald eminent one Then there Is liar kins the stenographer who really works and who is the envy of both Jenkins and Stack because he draws it good salary and is allowed postage on his own mail Stacks salary is 750 but as he lives with his uncle and pays no board he is really the aristocrat of the office Jenkins gets 2 per cent on the bills he collects Two weeks ago however somebody bought him a good dinner and then such an unwonted courage rose up within him that he decided to approach the eminent lawyer with whom he of fjces and ask advice To the lawyer Jenkins said Mr Lord Im not getting along very well and I dont know exactly what to do to Improve my affairs Of course I dont want to leave you but the fact is if I dont commence to take In a lit tle more money Ill have to get a situ ation go into some trade quit the law Now see here Jenkins said Mr Lord Ill tell you what Id do in your place Id start a collection agen cy You can do It right here In my of fice Take In the other boys get up a little stock company It doesnt require any capital and if Its run right It ought to pay Ill give Stack all my old accounts and you can get as many more as you want by advertising Jenkins eyes bulged with Joy Here at last was his chance He thanked his superior repeatedly and that very day the Calumet Quick Collection com pany was formed Jenkins wrote a long letter to his father explaining that postage stamps were an extreme necessity and then drew for 5 Stack and Harkins each contributed as much and the new concern began life with a Btock of enthusiasm and hope that was not expressed In the amount of paid up capital Jeiiklns contrib uted most of the enthusiasm but Stack and Harkins hoped for the best The work was bo divided that the young lawyer had to do all the outside work The stenographer of course could not leave the office except for meals and the clerk argued that It would pay to have Borne one nt headquarters to meet customers and clients bo with Bomo misgivings Jenkins agreed to this ar rangement The young lawyer was determined to do or die In his new venture and to this end he came down to the office about daybreak on the morning of his first effort He had a package of state ments an inch thick and a long book In -which the names and amounts were listed lie began work at 8 oclock with C5 cents for car fare in hlB pocket and the anticipation of swift and eer laln success shining In his eyes On foot In street cars and In trains he lit erally flew about the town till noon Some of the men he sought were dead Others talked as if they would like to be Many had left the city for good for their own good Jenkins thought Soroo were bo poor that he knew they would never pay A few laughed at him Nobody paid him He got back to the office about noon broken In finances but not In spirit ne almost lost his temper however when Stack laid down the paper cover ed novel he was reading took hie feet down from tho Rtcnm radiator nud asked How much did you get lie even fancied that he could hear Hni kins laugh when he answered 1 didnt collect n cent Hard luck Isnt It 1 ran Into a gang of tough ones and then ran out of car Tare Any answers to our dunning letters V Not a glimmer mourned Harkins Stack looked glad of It He loaned Jenkins a half dollar for car fare charged It up on the companys book it ml resumed his warm place In the corner -v When the young lawyer was gone out the clerk sidled up to tho stenogra pher and said Say llnrk I think were on a dead one dont you I hope not for leaks sake Hes bo In earnest said the stenographer Well Its leaks doings He nug gested It and 1 guess he needs the mon ey worse than we do Hut If It rails Well If It falls 1 think Jenkins ought to stand the louses Im out live fifty already and Its his fault Hut Iich doing all the work ntig gested Harkins Well so he ought And Mr Stack went back to his novel Tho young lawyer worked like n fiend When car fare was gone he walked even ran after his supposed victims He quit going back to the office and worked far Into the night He pestered the life out of every debt or who showed the least sign of paying up and If they offered him a dollar he took It and asked for two In the meantime a few answers to advertise ments came Into the office but Mr Lord seized upon them as too deep for the boys Nobody called Stack be gan and finished three paper covered novels Harkins plodded away in doors both wondering how long Jen kins nerve would stand the hardships of chasing his prey through Ice and bllOW At noon on Saturday Jenkins ap peared at the office He looked thlnuer than ever His kIiocb were worn out He had a piece of red flannel round ills neck and his voice was a husky whis per Harkins didnt have the heart to ask him how he fared but Stack yell ed Hello old man We thought you had absconded with the Arms money i Jenkins was very silent He sat down at his desk and began to make j out his statement Stack watched him with curious Interest ns he piled up the i few checks autl greenbacks which rep resented the first weeks business of the Calumet Quick Collection com 1 pany He had collected S1M0 and the i net earnings of the company at 10 per cent amounted to 21 Just S for each of the three stockholders Hood boy said Stack picking up his share Youre n wonder I didnt think youd make It go Harkins being what Stack calls a chump clushed when Jenkins handed him ills share of the prolits Ill tell you Mr Jenkins he said I dont feel as if 1 was entitled to any of tills money You and Stack here did all the work and you ought to keep my share for stamps and car fare eh lint Jenkins Insisted and the stenog rapher yielded All right lie laughed Ill take It on condition that you take dinner with me tills evening Well celebrate the weeks success kind of cliristen the business What do you say Jenkins and Slack promised and at 7 oclock that evening the three part ners were sitting together at a restau rant table christening the collection company When they got to the coffee Jenkins let his bomb fall upon the festal board in this wise Now Hark and Stack as to this collection company I dont know whether It is the quick or the dead but I want to announce that so far as I am concerned it is dissolved evapo rated vanished Here are our ac counts He pulled out the package They are supposed to represent 8000 of good accounts You can have them I wouldnt give -1 for the bunch Ills partners looked at him In aston ishment Youre joking they cho rused Why we have Just got to work You mean Ive Just got to work said Jenkins Well Im done too Im out 5 for stamps Ive worn out a pair of shoes Ive done 100 worth of the meanest work on earth and I havent got anything but 8 and the grip This Is the first Bquare meal Ive had for two weeks and I tell you the quick col lection business Is all off The next day Stack said to Harkins that Jenkins wasnt Btich a mark after all As for the young lawyer he is In doubt whether to go back to the farm or look for a more congenial place to office for now Mr Lord the eminent attorney says that Jenkins has no Band and will never get along unless ho learns to love work Chicago Hecord The Topers Dinner Instead of going to their work one Monday a number of workmen entered A public house determined to spend the day there About noon a woman looked In and said addressing one of the party I Bupposed you are not coming home to dinner today bo I have brought you your share Ho saying she placed n dish and plate carefully tied up In front of the toper and went away Looks well after yon your wife does said a mate Suppose we taste and Bee what Its like Aye let us have n taste Bald the husband as he untied the bundle But the plates were empty and there was a note with them which ran as fol lows I hope you will enjoy your dinner It Is the same as myself aud the chil dren are having at home Loudon Au ewers - THE NORFOLK NKWS FIU1UY MAY 31 1011 BAhNLMS FIKST CIRCUS tt Wnw IocMrrt In YVnulilnrrHin I or I ii It tlic Wiir It Is n fact though not generally known that Itanium Hist venture as n circus man was made In Washing ton volunteered an old circus rider who Is now a clerk In an up town de partment to a Star reporter rh It la also a foct that his engaging In the circus business came about from u sug gestion of n Washington boy Hugh Coyle In the fall of ISM Coyle who had been employed during the previous yimmer ns J IflllU lH w liu eonfioeTod with innlncr Hemming Cos circus returned to Washington having finished his engagement the circus going Into whiter quarters W K Sinn was then running Can terbury hall on Louisiana avenue ih n variety theater and he gave Coyle a Job selling tickets He never sold any however for In talking over circus matters with Sinn he said he thought it would be a good thing and make barrels of money circus people always talk of money by the barrel- If a win ter circus was opened up In Washing ton The war filled the city with sol diers and they spent their money free ly Coyle further suggested that as a circus he had been with was doing nothing he thought it could be brought here but that to make It as attractive ns possible there should be some ani mals secured Tp to that time Itanium had been before the public only as the proprietor of hall shows and museums It was known that he had about a dozen bears In New York which the people there hod tired of and he thought they might be secured Correspondence was entered Into with the owners of the circus Adam Foropnugh James 13 Cooper and John OHrlen all of whom have gone to their reward since The upshot of the matter was that llarmun agreed to contribute his bears handled by drizzly Adams famous since as a clown Korepaugh Cooper and OBrien to furnish their circus nnd Sinn to furnish the lot pay for advertising blllposting and the city li cense The proceeds were to be di vided up Hnrnuin to get one third the circus one third and Sinn the remain der Colonel Sinn got permission of B B French then commissioner of pub lic buildings and grounds to establish the circus on Louisiana avenue be tween Ninth and Tenth streets As Itanium was favorably known ns a museum owner the establishment was styled P T Itaniums circus mu seum and wild animal exhibition The museum part consisted of a lot of stuff which had been saved from the lire when Itaniums museum in New York was burned The bears were rather old and out of form but they went Just the same Barnums principal contribution was his name but the concern paid handsomely Two per formances were given most every day nnd the audiences were made up al most wholly of soldiers ami others brought here by the war I was a leading attraction riding a bareback horse which was then a sensation oil account of Its novelty We played there for the fall and part of the winter Barnum was pleas ed very much with the amount of mon ey tlmf was weekly sent as his share of the receipts The new business caught ids fancy and two years after ward lie stii ted out in the circus busi ness on Ills own account The museum business In New York had been about played out and the tent hhow offered more certain proceeds Washington Tost He Arbllrnled Scene The stone quay of a small fishing village In Cornwall Two ur chins are wrangling nt the sea end In somewhat dangerous proximity to the deep water An old retired salt the father of the hamlet watches these antics for a few minutes from his sun ning place against the signal staff then makes stealthily for the offending pair nnd administers a sound cuff each afterward rn turning complacently to his pipe as the youngsters march tear fully shoreward A visitor having noticed the episode came up anil tackled the old fellow on ids seemingly unreasonable molesta tion They were not harming you In any way he protested so why spoil their games Well it be Jest this yer way re torted the veteran after a thoughtful expectoration TIsnt ns I cares a durn whether they tumbles in nn gets drownded or whether they do stop nboord cos they beant no kin o mine Twere the bloomln uncertainty which were agoln tcr happen as was too much for me ter Fnu It no longer zo I liar betrates tho mutter uh you zeed Scraps Falae Economy Went home Thursday night nnd found my wife ill Symptoms alarm Ing Dosed her best I could Filduy morning she was no better Felt vor ried Wife dull and stupid No life In her Stnrted for doctor Struck br happy thought Turned back Cure complete Whnt was It Simple ns pie Just said Too bail you have to be Blck on bargain day my dear She bounced up What bhe cried How Btupld of one to forget 1 In five minutes Bhe was up and dress ed nnd frizzing her hnir Wouldnt It havo been cheaper to have fetched the doctor By Jove I guess it would Cleve land Plain Dealer Un appreciated I did my best to be entertaining said the young mnn In a voice of Bor row Did you succeed Im afraid not I recited nnmlets soliloquy She looked nt roe reproach fully for Bevral seconds and then ex claimed I dont think thatB very fun ny Washington Btar Mr- Couldnt It As a train was approaching n town on the J rent Northern railway In Ire land an Intelligent looking young Irish man observed a lady standing up searching her pocket She commenced to weep Have you been robbed he asked Oh no ho replied Ive List my ticket and they will accuse me of fraud Seeing her distressed state of mind he mi Id Oh Liiit mind Here lake my tick et nnd 1 will give the guard a prob lem while their fellow passengers nwnliefl the scene tit the station with Injcrcst j55VCffi When he train stopped the guard collected all the tickets but one Where Is your ticket he asked the young man You have got my tlckett he replied No l have hoi got iT Ill call the ntntlon master and sec about It Where Is your ticket asked the station muster when he appeared He has my ticket See If he has n ticket In his hand with a small piece off the comer Yes you have Pave There It Is Well see will that lit It snld Pat handing him the small piece and It did A look of surprise crept over the guards face as he left the carriage while Pat caused much amusement by exclaiming Begorra 1 knew he could not solve It London Tit Bits Tuo of Nnala Vncrm William M Tweed was a portly man of medium size with a long pendulous nose little porcine eyes fat drooping checks and a straight firm mouth that was decidedly his best feature Tho outlines of his lace were those of n Bartlett pear little end upward ami I never saw craft so palpably written upon n human countenance Nust used to be fond of drawing Tweeds face by the way as a sack of money The general contour of his head lent Itself to the outlines of the sack and he used marks for the nose and eyes Strange to say It was a capital por trait Another of Nasts trick pictures was one of Itoseoe Colliding He would draw a large letter V with a smaller v Inside tt and surmount the pair with nn Interrogation mark upside down The big V represented Conkllngs point ed heard the smaller one Ills sharp nose and the Interrogation point the Hyperion curl which lie always allowed to fall negligently upon his forehead Thai caricature made the haughty sen ator wild and exasperated him more than any hit oT fun that was ever poked In his direct ion New Orleans Times Democrat A Story of Anion Cninmlnirn One summer a number of years ago Amos Ciimmlngs passed two weeks on a pilot I Hint and tool irnesi inr rold the author of Mickey Finn Idylls with him for company one day a great storm arose and the pilot boat was tossed about on the waves like n chip ICvory minute a wave would dash over the deck and threaten to carry everything away and swamp the boat Ciiiiiinings and Jnrrold were in the little cabin the former lying In n bunk Intently reading a book on the French revolution Jarrold poked his head out to look at the storm when a mountain of sea water fell with a boom on the deck and filled ills eyes with spray The boat gave a fearful lurch and careened until It Beenied that she must turn completely over This Is awful Amos said Jarrold Im going to put on a life preserver for I dont think the bunt can stand it many minutes longer Oh keep quiet and let me read Mickey said Cnmuilngs never lifting his eyes from the page The men on this boat draw a regular salary to beep her afloat Saturday livening Post Appropriate At Chnlfont St illes Kngland stands n remarkable monument erect ed by Sir Hugh Palliser to his friend Captain Cook the celebrated navigator One of the most singular visits to this monument occurred In lStiTi when Queen Emma of the Sndwlch Islands went in company with Bishop Wllberforce People in the district still recall with amuse ment how the village band wishing to greet her majesty with an appropriate tunc and not knowing the Sandwich Islands national anthem tootled forth The King of the Cannibal Iblunds Tlir Flrnt Umbrella To prove at what dute the first um brella was made Is a seemingly hope less task but we find records of their use among the Greeks and Koinuns not alone as a protection from sun or rain but ns a distinguishing mark of royalty By the time of Queeu Annes reign they had become quite common Blmply as a protection but they were all Imported until about 1802 when the manufacture of them was begun In Kngland Knew Ilia Pop A little fellow says the Kennebec Journal the oldest In a family of little ones whose father worked away from home winters had occasion to visit his grandparents for n few days On his return he found another little member Ills remarks will Bhow that he was both surprised and Indignant Well If you havent gone nnd got another gosh darned kid Wont my father be mad when he hears of It J Coitiprrhrnalvr On a tombstone In nn old New Eng land churchyard there la an epitaph which never falls to bring a smile to the face of the reader To the memory of Ann Sophia and Julia Hattlc his two wives tills stone Is erected by their grateful widower James B Holllus They made home pleasaut Womans Journal COULDNT HELP IT An Olil Vntihreft Vnrn of Heller llnia Wna Ilirr Ilrl Inn An old man was sawing wood In a Maine village the other day He had taken a Job and was putting In lilrt best licks A man who was going past Htopped ami looked over the pallngH of the fence Kind of tough work Isnt It uncle V asked the passer The old man straightened up and stroked the sweat off his foiehcnil Waal nilddlln tart said he Sort of takes holt of my lumbago once In awhile I dont suppose t should mind It so mm h If It hadnt been for the fact that I hud iiiom once and didnt lime to do sin h llilngi iih this JliilJt iilLiiHi L Yni thats right You remember the time they built the branch inllruud through Sine - XfoWP Wanl I was doln pretty well tlint time and I subscribed to tho slocV Kinder thought tlieie might be a chance to make a little something out or the deal But the llrst thing I knotted they called for au assessment of the stock They come round to me and wanted my assessment How much be It says I Slxty four thousand live hundred dollars says they Waal says 1 thats rather n stiff haul on a man but Ill pay It But I give ye notice now that ye better not call on me again for that will Just about take the last cent I got And for a fact when 1 went home and went Into the old clilst ami counted out my money that was Jest what 1 had to a cent But the road never amounted to anything Never got a cent back for idl that money I put In Ami here I am sawln wood for a llvln When the stranger got down to the store and stood warming his hands at the barrel stove he remarked upon the sad case of the old man sawing wood up the road That man never had a cent ahead In ull his life remarked the storekeeper lies albiH sawed wood for a llvln Well what did he want to tell such n thundcrln story as that for asked the stranger replied the storekeeper Yankees have to sorter keep In prac tice for what may come up lent linv to do It When you drive along youll probn lily see an old fellow up here workln round In the barnyntd He wears I lor ace Sreeleys for whiskers and a straw hat winter or summer Youll know him when you see him Stop and talk with him a little while lies keepln In practice too The stranger did so They fell Into talk of the corruption of modern Institutions aud of the dilll culty of believing those who are en gaged In business operations Two weeks ago hiild the old man I was shlnglln the Methodist par sonogedown the road here a ways and the elder come out and says he ilies a big bank in Boston failed National hank says I National bank says he and he gave me the name Waal sir for awhile I never wns so scared In my life I Jest Jumped right down off the roof of that pnsonogo bout JO feet Was so excited I never fcit it I run all the way home 1 rushed Into the bedroom Wife come a runnln after me For the land sakes says she he you crazy Putty near It says I The national bank of Boston has failed up nnd Its Jest like my luck to have a lot of bills of that bank In the 1 clilst here And I threw the clilst I ojK n and reached down for our box I 1 opened It Waal It didnt have a sin gle bill on that hank nor any other kind of a bill either Never felt so re lieved In my life Lewiston Journal Wire TnpiilnK The tapping of a telegraph wire Is b modem form of highway robbery In the old days the method was to way lay the courier on the road and to rob him of his purse or of his message Tho formula of the modern highway man Is not Stand and dellverl but Blmply Dellverl And he may get a mesHage from the lightning courier which may he wortli more to him than a well filled purse But there Is nothing to be gained by indiscriminate tupping It Is some special message or Information that the thief Is looking for possibly for its effect on the stock market or on other business ventures But the use of ci pher codes renders the tapping of tele graph wires of little avail even in time of war unless the code as well as the message hns been stolen For the tapping of power or light lines the modem highwayman comes In out of the rain lie can do his busi ness better indoors by attacking the electric meter confusing Its calcula tions and thus getting more current than he pays for Such at least seems to be the Implication of recent statutes Forum Where Rnakln learned Bngllafc The book which begot English prone Ftlll remains Its supreme lype The English Bible Is the true school of Eng lish literature It possesses every quality of our language In ltn supreme form except fur scientific precision practical affairs aud philosophic anal ysis If you care to know the best that our literature can give In simple noblo prose mark learn and Inwardly digest the Holy Scriptures In the English tongue Ituskin aa a precocious boy of B begun reading with his mother the Bible through from beginning to end nnd over and over ugaln and got from it his marvelous Instinct aud faculty for noble vital always fascinating ex pression Frederic Harrison Liter ary Estimates THEMALLEABLE riFlE ALL hIAtL Al I I YOUR VI II Ill f s nun nuli bltfcL mil MALLfc UOAK HULL WITH POUCH r EliD I HI hmV ill ALBERT DEQNERS Dr Humphreys Specifics cure by nctlng dirootly upon the ilitMmtic without oxultiti disorder in imy other pnrt of tho syiiluni no cunitn rmru I iiiiKtitlmm Inflnnmtntlnnn JJ Wiirma Worm Korw Worm Colin iH a TrrllilinrCollcCryliiMWnknriilrmia 2H 4llnrrliiin of tlillilrcn or Aitullii iH 7 mili Collin llroiirtiltls Xl H rpYiirnlulix loollinelm Knrencliii 2H fl llrnitnrlii Blck lliunlnilir Vertlrfo 1 0 IIVHprimln lnillKiittinWcftkmmiiacliU5 I l hiiiireiril or llillifnl Irrliijn US IU Wliltm Too rniliiao lrrloln m US 11 Crtiiin lnr iiuIiIh llortrHeiirmn US I llliriim Krtirlna Kriiptlnna US I o llliriimatliMii KlictHiintln Tallin US 1 tl Miliaria Clillli Iiivit nml Akui IS 1nlarrh lnfliictim Oolil In thullnrul US Cniiuli us U7Hlilnry lllrnii US UH rrrvmi IliMllty 100 iO tlrlnnrv Wrnknra WottlriKlUxl US 77 lrli liny Knvnr U5 Dr lliiniiiliriijH MnmiM of nil DlAwmea nt your IlriiKKlnlH or MhIIimI Fri n Sola lijr rtniHKlnl r mt on rocclnt of prlro Iluiiililirijh atcil Ou Cor William Jolm HU NiW York 50 YEARS EXPERIENCE ijTgjra Trade Marks Designs CopvniGHTs Ac AnrormTiriilliiK n nkolrh unit iliwrlnflnri innr nutikly fiHriirtiiln our opinion friO wlifthcr nn III vrilll ifii m iironiiiiiy miiiiiiOl llotinHtrlrllyronllilniilliil Cliniiiiiinlrti Iliiiiitlionknii TntiMtn it fri tlliliwl nmiiiy fur Hi urliiK liulrntH IilililH lukim iliroiiuli Aliinn V o r rrUi notlrr wit limit tlniruo In tlm ruculvn Scientific Htnericam A liiinilHoiinilj lllimlrnliil wcikly Iririrent elr i nliillmi of imy Krlmitllli Jnuriml Tirmn M n year four lnontlin ft Solil liyull rmwnilculiim MUNNCo3GDoadwa New York llrnncli tinicii I3r 1 St Wiuililnulmi 1 J IFGOINGtASTOR SOUTH of Chicago ask your local ticket agent to route you between Omaha nnd Chicago via tho i r UrfT fc l67 WILWAUKEEi tStPAtl tho shot test line between the two cities Trains via this pnpulur road deport from tho Union depot Omaha daily con necting with trains from the west Magnificently equipped trains palace sleepers and free reclining chair cars Dining cars nnd bullet library and smoking cars All trains lighted by electricity For full information about rates etc address F A Nash leueral Western Agent II Vf Howell 1iOl Faruam St Trav Frt Puss Agt Omaha I0W HOMESEEKERS EXCURSIONS TUESDAYS f March 10th J April 2nd and 10th 1 May 7th and 21st I Juno and 8th AND Iron Moun tain Route To certain points in the West Southwest and Southeast nt RATES FOR ROUND TRIP PLUS 3oo Final Limit of Tickets 21 Days Stop overs will he allowed within transit limit of fifteen days going after reaching first liomeseekers point en route For further Information or Land PamiihleU rnUerB Muim etc aildrets uny UKOUt of tlia coiniiuuyor J 0 FlIILLUWI W C BARNES AH KacdPA T P A BoiUhMtt Cor llth and Dooglae 8t OIUUA NEBRASKA