m
Theflorfolkpicuis
A New York young woman has mod
n coif et firm for fOWH damages
cnuno they used her picture ns mi adver
tisement
Mr Bryan linn been invited m wmiv
Taimnnny on tho Fourth of inly but
tho organisation decided to invito nun
only utter a heated discussion Tlio
oast stems continniilly inclined to revert
back into the enemys couutry
Ilinno nro hajipy under good prices
which prevail under tho Dingloy law
ivnddld prevail under tho McKinley
lnw Thoy look hack at tlio Will on and
Mills iaw periods with a feeling of
relief that the tnrltl reformers ivro not
at present at tho heliu
Tin llcniis Omaha Ban company is
one of tho moet tntorprlHing ilriun of
tho metropolis Its Intent scheme iH to
lit up an outdoor exercise ground for
tho employes of tho institution TenniH
oourtB u hand twill court and croouvt
grounds will l arranged
Tho x ry party 1h not likely to bo
popular with some of Now Yorks so
ciety women At ono of these enter
tainments tho machine disclosed a silver
n0ou hidden in tho dresB of ono of tho
guests She explained that it won taken
merely us a souvenir of tho -occasion
The English do not think it riht that
their sovereign should havo risked his
life by going aboard tho Shamrock dur
ing tlio recent race Ho perhnpB would
iiot have done bo had he known how the
xttco was going to end Those who are
objecting now should havo warned him
before
Senators Tillman nnd McLanrin of
South Carolina have resigned their
togas to take effect November 15 and
will light it out before tho people the
successful ono expecting to bo re elected
This Bort of a conteBt promises Bomo ex
citement within tho democratic ranks
of South Carolina
Saturdays issue of tho Fremont Tri
bune was of 12 pages and was known hb
tho preachers edition piibtorB of the
various churches contributing articles
on interesting nnd important subjects
Tho edition is much more of a newspaper
than that recently it sued by tho Hev
GlmrleBM Sheldon
Thero nro many people of tho opinion
that it would be a wito plan to dispense
with all church and other public ser
vices until tho prevailing disease is
thoroughly located and under control
The object to bo attained by tho closing
of tho schools may in a mearturo bo de
feated if chnroheB hold their Services as
usual
It nppenrH likely that Senators
WcLauriu and Tillman of South Caro
Jiun will shortly experience tho feelings
of tho two nuciout dogs who fought over
ii bone when a non combatant ap
proached and secured tho prize Tho
people of tho state seem quite deter
mined that neither shall prove a winner
in tho contest
Tho board of health of Omaha reports
102 deaths in that city during April
Pneumonia claimed most victims
causing It deaths and tuberculosis
comes next with eight Lung troubles
are far in advance of other diseases in
this country as a causo of death and
overy precaution to prevent lung troubles
should be employed
An immense merchant vessel of 12KX
tone was lnuuohed nt San Francisco Inst
week to help tako caro of tho trade
growing out of Uncle Sams expansion
policy The business of tho country is
Teaching out to such nn extent that the
little Americans will fiud it a large
task to gather it nil in and confine it
should they over bo placed in control
of tho government
A Chicago husband seeks n divorco
because his wife insisted that ho should
elope with n woman friend of here
The abused man should have his prayer
granted A woman who will arrange nn
unsatisfactory elopemeut for hor leige
lord 1b not a congenial companion
His wishes at least in regard to the
-woman he was to run off with should
Jiave been consulted
A BoBton Baptist is in trouble some
of the deacons of the church being
angered because the member aforesaid
-who is a merchant had a display of
shirt waists in a show case which they
termed as an immodest exhibition If
-the good men cannot endure a displav
-of mere Bhirt waists what would happen
if they encountered n woman nttired in
one of the creations
If a person is really desirous of hear
ing something sensational about the
smallpox situation in Norfolk he should
go away from home Out of town
newspapers and friends of Norfolk
ore disseminating information made
practically of whole cloth in many in
stances The truth 1b perhaps bad
enough without exnggeration but no
one has cause to be afraid of Norfolk if
the truth is known
A Russian newspaper Novoe Vremya
has been prohibited for a week because
it urged the government to help work-
jyift - - j
1 men mid unemployed ns tho best mentis
to combat revolutionary tendencies
The C7nr considers wmscii 7 il
tent to conduct Ms government wunuui
suggestions from newspapers Tho
idea of n nowspnper knowing nuythlng
nliout conducting governments or any
thing eho is preposterous in Kussin
Tho people are not eo nolBily detnnru
strutlvo towatd tho presidential pvty
during their journey homo ti Washing
ton but their enthusiasm HJustnH hin
cote and perhaps morn intennc tlinn
though evidenced by Uwming minion
Bcrciuning whistles nd other uoIho
making contrivnrrxi The noiso hns
ix en quieted by information regarding
Mrs McKinleyMi condition but jxipnlnr
sentiment has -no doubt been intensified
for tho mine reason
The Cieinan American Democratic
club of OAmhn took another shot at
fusion at an enthusiastic meeting held
Sunday ufternocni Several weeks ago
tho club adopted resolutions denounc
ing fusion and at the recent meeting
speeches wero made by prominent mem
bers supporting tho stand tho club had
taken Tho fusionlsts will probably
find that they nro not in unanimous con
trol of two or three parties oven though
tho edict has gnno forth from Mr
llrynn
Tho petition which 5100 residents of
Pekin sent to General Challee asking
to havo tho American troops remain in
that city would indicate that Undo
SamB soldier boys nro sometimes inoro
appreciated by tho enemy than thoy
are by patriots of tho Edward Atkinson
class It is a tribute to tho American
wnr policies hnrdly to to expected
Since Aguinaldo has becomo acquainted
with tho boys ho would undoubtedly
head a liko petition if tho withdrawal of
troops from tho Philippines was threat
ened
Tho rich mans child must experience
soniowhnt tho siune feelings as tho
sultan of Turkey it is unsafe to go
out without an escort or guard nnd somo
of tho fathers find it necessary to guard
the homo Even tho nurse is oftimes
suspected of being iii league with kid
napers The Wizard Edisons daughter
Madolono is tho latest to bo threatened
by child stealors and his homo iB heavily
guarded Tho saying should bo changed
to uneasy lies tho head that wears a
corpulent pocket book in its trouserB
pocket
Tho truo BportBinan iB nok usually n
brute A good fisherman has been no
ticed to remove tho hook with great
caution so that tho lish will not bo
punishol moro thau is nocosssary In
Mrs Wetmoros life of Buffalo Bill it
is related how tho famous scout once al
lowed himolf to bo put to shame by
failing to shoot a couple of deer nt easy
distance Every ono has hislittlo weak
nesses ho explained mine is n deers
oyo 1 dont want you to say anything
about it to your friends for thoy would
laugh moro than over hut tho fact is
1 have never yet been able to shoot a
deer if it looked mo in tho oyo With n
buffalo or a bear or nn Iudian it is dif
ferent But tho deer has tho eye of a
trusting child boft gentle and confld
iug No one but a brute could shoot n
deer if ho caught that look
Even editors are not imuniuofrom tho
attacks of tho fako journalist Tho
Fremont Tribune nlong with many
other papers Tub Nrws included was
a victim of a recent sensatiounl story
and explains its share of tho transaction
aB follows Now it comes to puss that
tho halo with which Tho Tribuuo has
feobly assisted in surrounding Lizzie
Cottman the Sioux county teacher who
was credited with heroically saving hor
pupils from n watery grnve has been
dissolved by a cold douche of truth
There was no such act of heroism per
formed by Lizzio Cottmnn or anyone
else Wo do not know thero is such n
person ns Lizzio Cottman Tho only
authentic part of tho pretty story is
that there is a Sioux county Tho rest
was geuerutod in tho fertile miud of n
newspaper correspondent doubtless the
trained liar who has the Sioux Iudiaus
in nn outbreak ever nnd nuon nt space
rates
A copy of tho Anamosa Prison Press
published in tho Iowa state penitentiary
has been received here The
is tho chnplniu of the institution
but many of the items and contribu
tions are from the coub One item is
not readily understood It says
Hereafter dally papers fouud in the
possession of residents of the middle
class will bo confiscated ns contraband
aud the possessor subjected to tho pen
nlty mnde nnd provided not to exceed
three mnrks It will be n temptntion
thnt will test your mettle but yield not
your own dally record is moro impor
tant Why should the inmates be
punished for reading daily papers and
not weekly publications Are the
dailies considered more corruntiuc or
are they bo interesting that a cou
rof uses to do anything except read whilo
in hiB po6sessiou People of the outside
world would be interested in an expla
nation
Kev Dr Ament one of the returned
missionaries oi uuiua IB or the opinion
that the Americans were too merciful
during the Boxer uprising nnd speaks
in favor of the mailed fist He eaye
in support of this position Within
THE NORFOLK NfcWR Wll DA Y MAY hi m
M -
-
n week jTr ftn American forco had
passed ivgi ft province thero wero
mw un dors and burnings When tho
sunns went through they cleared it
mud things remained quiet I do not
yiwrjrrovo of tho atrocities committed by
fi any of tho foreign troops but 1 bellevo
in iicing nuvero unii jubu jviguniium
of tho reverend gentlemans opinion
tho mercy of tho Americans is un
doubtedly refiiKiusiblo for tho influence
of this government in China at present
Tho Chineho bellevo that they havo a
true friend in the American government
whllo they unquestionably regard Ger
many as an enemy Tho United States
will therefore lo heeded whon advice is
oilered while that of other countries will
bo accepted with suspicion
President McKinley doesnt seem to
bo following tho piith laid out for him
by democratic politicians with any con
Hiderablo accuracy in fact ho seems to
do things in his own way and directly
opposite to what tho searcher for demo
cratic campaign material desires At
San Jose he spoke of the constitution
that instrument threatened by his re
election ns follows Wo live under a
constitution that was made by -1000000
of people nnd yet it haB proved ndequuto
for 70000000 of people That instru
ment seems almost to bo inspired to
carry forwnrd tho holy mission of lib
erty It seems not to hnvo been made
nlouo for those who framed it and their
successors but fur nil ages and for all
mankind That instrument stands
today almost as it left tho haudB of its
frumcrs Few amendments have been
udded and those havo only been to en
large tho priceless blessings of liberty
mid free government to tho l eople nnd
no nmendment can over bo made to the
constitution of this country that will
curtail tho Biipreme and sovereign power
of tho people
Tho city papers poke fun in n good
unturod wny nt their country contem
poraries for chronicling events in the
lives of their patrons which seem to bo
of little importance Well tho fact
that John Jones has whitewashed his
bnrnynrd fence may not bo very thrill
ing but it is certainly ub worthy of
record and moro wholesome thau the
announcement that Miss Vero do Vere
appeared at tho ball in n decollette
gown of pink satin miide etc etc nnd
trimmed etc etc or tlmt Madamo
Mngnifiquo served her guests atluncheon
with consouiino Florentine sweet
breads lopicuro etc or that Chnwlio
has lost what little mind ho had through
drinking absintho nnd smoking cigar
ettes and threatens to send n bullet
through tho plnce whoro his brain ought
to bo Tho country pnper is designed
mxinly for the consumption of country
people and tho incidents of their daily
lves are at least as importnnt aud inter
esting as tho trilles which occupy tho
attention of the belles and dudes of tho
city So long ns city papers fill column
after column with trifles light as air
nnd often unwholesomo as sewer gns it
would be in good tnste for them to re
frain from making sport of their
couutry neighbors Orange Post
A lUuliUous Sentence
Tho promptitude with which tho gov
ernment has convicted and punished
the United Stntes officers concerned in
the commissary frauds at Maniln com
mands unqualified approval Such
action is especially salutary in its effect
on the uatives to whom it demonstrated
the fact that Uncle Sam is no respecter
of persons nnd thnt it is unsafe to trifle
with his regulations
The occupation of now territory pre
sents luring opportunities to unscrupu
lous officials some of whom are ulways
to bo found in overy sorvice Tho sum
mary punishment of Captain Burrows
and IiIb associates will probubly put a
stop to any further pecuutiou in the
Philippines aud will be indorsed by
every officer who vulues tho good name
of the army in which he serves
Whilo not withholding full commend
ation for the action of the authorities in
this case it might not be impertinent to
suggest that if a little more of the same
promptness had been displayed in con
nection with the Cuban postal frauds it
would have been decidedly more satis
factory to the public Omaha News
The south is beginning to find that
wnai u naB lennen parry lenity tor so
many years ib merely prejudice against
the most progressive nnd brond minded
party in the country The republicans
hnve respected the democrats of the
south becauBe of their sincerity but they
havo until recently persistently refused
to be reciprocal Thoy are now finding
thnt the republicans of the north are
not ns bad as they have been painted
and their welcome to President McKin
ley is evidence that they are casting
aside the prejudices retained since the
war and may not be averse to voting
the republican ticket sometime in the
future
About the only paramount issue
left for democracy is the Sulu trenty
nud this will undoubtedly disappear
before a campaign makes it available
It is most undemocratic for the admin
istration to conduct its affairs in a
manner so subject to popular approval
but the republicans are not objecting
and the democrats cannot
The wives of three deceased ex-presidents
are living Mrs Harrison at In
dinnapolis Mrs Grant at Washington
and Mrs Garfield at Meutor Ohio
JN VHE fcAfcY9 EYES
Whtt l tlie iln m In the nby tj
Ai he Jim tml Minks In urirtw
Willi little net tiarull tint aiinlcKtljr go
till hi r mill tliltlicr unit to atiJ to
nilh llttlr wee feel lint hall lex hlrnf
Gt4
known
Hut itaer from mj heart like a lx nlron coe
Ilumlle of ht1liwniM joidir he Ilia
What Ii the ilieain in my Ubya ejeaf
What dor be wonder and what dori be know
Tlmt we hate forRottMi ki Ioiik lonK ago
Ilalhed In the dawn light what doia lie -
That aliiur tr have hlildin from ou and nxf
Out of the yestirdajr wrlh he Jet
The IhltiK thai In living he aoon rhall forget
All that ia hidden herond the blue tklea
What la the diiam In in hahya rvtat
Ppeaa to nie little one ere ou forget
What la the thought that la lingering there yet
Where It the land white the Jtalirdayt meet
Waiting and nailing the morrowa to grcetT
You te funny bundle who only will blink
What do ou wonder and what do you Ihlnkt
Ilrlght as the noonllght aaltep In the akin
What la the driain in my babya tyrt
Tom Cordry In Mlntieapolll Hcaatnger
NEVER ATE FOREIGN MEAT
It Dneant VT to lie Too Bare Until
line hnunt All the Knctn
A certain Major Brownjones who
made It his boast thnt he never allowed
American or colonial meat to be served
nt his table recently visited an old
comrade lu Liverpool One night nt
dinner a most delicious saddle of ap
parently Welsh mutton nppenred to
which the major did ample justice
Ah he observed 1 wish thnt my
butcher lu Loudon would send mo stuff
like that aud yet he deals only in the
best British meat
Well said his friend ns n matter
of fact you have been eating New Zen
laud mutton But Its only fnir to say
that 1 get It from a frleud who Is a
large wholesnle Importer
By Jove you dont sny sol ex
claimed the guest I wish hed tell
nie where I can get the like In town
Well go und see him tomorrow
snld tho host Tho visit wns duly paid
to the meat monger who smiled when
he heard the Londoners eulogy nnd
explanation
Tell me he returned after listening
to the epicures remnikB lu what pnrt
of London you reside nnd I dare say I
can give you tho nddress of a retail
butcher who will supply you with ex
nctly the Biime sort of mutton ns that
which you like so much The major
handed him his card
Ah observed the Importer theres
the very man within two streets of
your house We supply him with all
his meat Heres his nddress he ndd
ed handing n slip of paper to the seek
er nftcr succulent Joints
The major read the major started
the mnjor frowned the major truth to
say cried vengeance nnd no wonder
for the address was that of his own
butcher who dealt only In home prod
uceLondon Sketch
The Itottle nt Ship lnnneheaj
Down to Charles IIs time It was cus
tomary to name and baptize n ship aft
er she wns launched sometimes n week
or two nfter The old Tudor method
used for men-of-war was still In use
Pepys Dfnry shows that The ship
wns safely got afloat nfter which some
high personage went on board with n
special silver standing cup or llag
gou of wine out of which ho drank
naming the ship nnd pouting n llbatlou
on the quarter deck The cup was then
generally given to the dockynrd ship
wright as a memento
When dlil the present usage of nam
ing aud baptizing n ship before she Is
sent ntloat come In 1 trace the last
explicit mention of the old method to
100 1 when the Itoyal Katherlne was
launched see Pepys The first men
tion of smashing n bottle of wine on
the bows of nn English
that I have found Is In a contemporary
newspaper cutting of May 17S0 de
scribing the christening of II M S
Mngnaulme nt Deptford but nothing Is
hinted that It was then a new custom
Notes and Queries
To l ly In loor U rerun a
There Is a peculiarity ubout the flying
dream that seems to be constant Of
all those whom I asked about the mat
ter nud who are conscious of the flying
dream at all not one has ever known
himself to make any high flights lu his
dreams One always flies low with a
skimming manner slightly but only
slightly above the hends of pedestrians
Aud oues critical nttitude in n dremn
toward oues own performnnce Is al
ways Interesting to note both In re
gard to this particular class of dream
nnd cen more toward one of the other
classes It Is an attitude thnt is well
brought out in Alice In Wonderland
where Alice Is made to exclaim or to
think while she Is falling How brave
they will nil think It of me nt home not
to mind a great fall like this Long
mans
IokIccO
Whnt is n furrier Tommy asked
the tencher of a pupil In the Juvenile
class
A mnn who deals In furs answer
ed Tommy
Thnts right said the teacher
Now Tommy you may tell me what
a currier Is
A man who deals lu curs was the
unexpected but logical reply Chicago
News
The Caldeat Couutry
The coldest Inhabited country ap
pears to be the province of Wercho
jnnsk iu oriental Siberia A Russian
savant passed one entire year In tho
Inhospitable region and kept a dally
record of the temperature from which
it appears thnt the daily menu of the
entire year U 27 1 degrees below zero
The first constitutional convention In
Ohio contained ns delegates five men
who afterward were elected governor
of the state nnd four who became Unit
ed States senators
In Madagascar silk is the only fabric
used in the manufacture of clothing
It is cheaper thau linen In Ireland
4
J
Io Tmo Tiiuitilis Alike
It Is not alone on questlous of hand
writing that hand wilting experts nie
culled upon to testify Thumb j
blons nrounil which Mark Twain In
Puddlnhead Wilson built his logon-
Ions story have sometimes formed
the basis of very convincing testimony j
Connn Doyle said that Carvulhos de
ductions lu the ense of the robbery of
15000 from a package of the
run Express company for nicety of
ruisonlng nnd extraordinary
dunce ecllpsd anything any one over
tlnred put Into fiction
lu 1WH Asa litiy Ourney was tried i
on the charge of stealing n large sum
of money from the express company
It was pi oved that Guruey had opened
the safe wheie the package had been
placed taken It out aud deposited It in
another safe It was found that n
huge sum wns missing
The evidence wns purely tircuuistnn
tlal The envelope containing the mon
ey bore upon It however n thumb Im
pression Mr Curvnlho testified that
the Impression on the envelope nud
several Impressions of Gurneys
thumb correppomlcd exactly nnd con
tended thnt there were no two thumbs
In the world alike But such evidence
was too subtle for the rural Jury which
tried the ease and tho prisoner wns
ncqultteil
It Is to be recorded ns a tribute to
the accuracy of Carvulhos testimony
that Guruey soon nfter confessed
Chambers Journal
Severe Ilinlshment
Sterling Is derived rrom the name by
which the dwellers In eastern Germnny
were known In the twelfth nnd thir
teenth centuries They were culled
Kasterllugs Tho purity not only of
their money was very famous but thnt
of their silver specially so nnd coiners
and silversmiths were fetched from
those pnrts to improve the qunllty of
our own mantifnctures
So far bnck ns 1597 two counterfeit
ers who sold spurious silver nrtlcies
bearing n simulated roynl Hon nnd the
goldsmiths mnrks were sentenced to
Btnnd In n pillory nt Westminster with
their enrs united thereto nnd with pa
pers above their hends setting forth
the nature of the offense for which
they were so disgraced After this
degradation they were publicly march
ed to Chenpslde put In the pillory
there nnd had each one ear cut off
finally being conducted bnck to the
Fleet prison nnd having to pay a flue
of 10 marks each
It seems thnt in recent times the rec
ord price for Elizabethan silver wns
70 10s per ounce For old nrtlcies In
this metal the sum usually obtainable
ranges from r to 17 per ounce ac
cording to the artistic workmanship
displayed on them Loudon Telegraph
Only Two Iontla
At the close of the war said n
southern representative today a great
many negroes in the south refused to
leave their old homes My father gath
ered his former slaves about him nnd
told them they were free and must
leave him Some went nnd others re
mained Among tho latter was nn old
dnrky named ICph who swore he would
not leave but would stay and take his
chances All right Eph said my fa
ther Just take four or five acres nnd
go In on the three and four plan
An what am tint mnssn fo de
Lnwds siikeV
Why if you raise three loads of
corn you must give me ono and you
keep two So Uncle Eph went to work
nnd raised a crop At harvest time my
father rode over the farm and noticed
that Eph had cut his corn Seeing the
old fellow he rode up nnd asked him
why he didnt do ns he had ngreed
nbout dividing the corn
Well massa yob said if I raised
free loads of corn 1 wuz to gib yob one
nn take two loads myself nn I done
only raised two loads Washington
Times
Jerrolda Wit
The English have been accused for
so long of dullness In their humor that
Beveral stories related of the eminent
wit Douglas Jerrold may not be out
of place us showing that the charge Is
sometimes untrue It appears thnt nt
n dinner one gentleman who hnd been
eating n dish of sheeps head with
great gusto exclaimed ns he laid down
his knife nnd fork SheepB head for
ever sny II Theres egotism snld
Jerrold
Sometimes through a Joke Jerrold
conveyed good advice or a word of
warning Ho was enjoying a drive one
day with a Jovial spendthrift behind u
pair of grays Well what do you
think of my grays nBked his impecu
ulous friend To tell you the truth
replied Jerrold 1 was thinking moro
of your duns
Quick nt n Hint
Mr Slyman the bookkeeper receiv
ed a present of 10 from his employer
He exacted more and was greatly dis
appointed He aropped the money on
the floor In the presence of his employ
er ns If accidentally and stooped to
pick It up
Did you find It all asked his em
ployer nfter a few mtnutea
No I fouud only 101 Fllegendo
Blatter
Bntlafled Her
Prospective Bride I know Its fool
ish doctor but to gratify a natural cu
riosity will you please let me see the
form of service you intend to use in
marrying ub
The Hev Dr Fourthly It will not
be necessary my dear young woman
I never use the word obey in the
marriage service Chicago Tribune
A physician calculates that it takes
eight times the strength to go up stairs
thnt is required for the same distance
on the level
Chichester cathedral spire Is the only
one which can be seen from the sea
along the coast of Great Britain
THE STONE OF GRATITUDE-
An Old Itoninn Irirend Thnt Trent
of the Topnt
The topnz Is called the stono of grnt1
Itutle nnd the old Itotnnn books record
the following legend from which tho
Btone derives this attribute
The blind Lmperor Thcodoslus used
to hang n brazen gong before his pnl
nce gnton and sit beside it on certnln
days hearing nnd putting to rights tho
grievances of nny of his subjects
Those who wished for his ndvlce nnd
help had but to pound the gong nnd
Immediately admission Into tho pres
ence of Crcsnr was obtained
One day n great snake crept up to
the gate nnd struck tho brnzen gong
with her coils nnd Thcodoslus gave or
ders thnt no one should molest tho
creature nnd bnde her tell him her
wish The snnke bent her crest lowly
In homnge nnd Btralghtnwny told tho
following talc
Her nest wns nt tho base of the gate
way tower nnd while she hnd gone to
find food for her young brood a strango
beast covered with shnrp needles hnd
Invaded her homo killed the nestlings
nud now held possession of the little
dwelling Would Cajsar grant her jus
tice
The emperor gnve orders for the por
cuplue to be slain and the mother to bo
restored to her desolate nest Night
fell and the sleeping world hnd forgot
ten the emperors kindly deed but with
the enrly dnwn a grent Berpent glided
Into the palace up the steps and Into
the roynl chamber nnd laid upon each
of the emperors closed eyelids a gleam
ing topaz When Emperor Theodoslus
nwoke he found ho was no longer
blind for the mother snnke hnd pnld
her debt of gratitude Exchange
Will Yon Lire to He OldT
That man will not live to be old
remarked a scientific man to tho writ
er Indicating a man who was standing
near
Why pray the writer queried
wonderlngly
Well he hns not n single physio
logical Index of long life 111b head is
nnrrow he hns narrow eyes and nos
trils and a long delicate hand nil of
which augur 111 for length of days
If you observe cnrefully you will
find that with rare exceptions which
only serve to emphnslze the rule men
who live to be old have wido heads
above the enrs nud wide foreheads
Large nud wide nostrils are always
evidence that those two Important or
gans the lungs nud the heart nre good
The ears lu old men are nltnost Invari
ably placed low Again long lived
people usually have broad and short
hands inelegant It may be but still
nn Indication of long life
If therefore you see a man who an
sveia these physical conditions you
may safely barring accidents of
course predict for him length of days
New York Telegram
One on Him
Well bless my soul exclaimed ono
of the Urst citizens of Chicago that
breezy metropolis on the banks of Lake
Michigan When did you hit tho
town
I hnve not hit it at nil corrected
the man from Boston The largeness
of the nren nnd the absence of a defi
nite personality preclude such action
Thats so assented the Chlcngoan
his cordinl hilarity a little less marked
By the way where are you stopping
Im not stopping at all my dear
friend
Not stopping at all Why what
No but Im staying at the Palmer
House Deuced expensive place Ill
say
Thats so Well Its too bad
Too bad Hows that
Well I was going to Invite you to
come on out nnd put up at my house
while you were In town but since
youre staying nt the Pnlmer House 1
suppose Its no use
And off he walked Kansas City In
dependent
Human Nnture
1 cant understand Jenkins When
my salary was raised from 15 to 20
he wns the flfst to pat me on the bnck
and congratulate me
Well
Now that Im getting 30 be hnrdly
epenks to me
Well you know Jenkins Is still get
ting 25 Phlladelphia Press
Injury IMna Inault
Mlstah Johnsing Dlt nlggah Pompey
am In trubbel again
Mlstah Jones Sho now What am
de fllchshun dls time
Mlstah Johnsing Dey am a man dun
brot sewt again Pomp fer brakin his
Iron safe
Mibtnh Jones De low down nlggah
robbah
Mlstah Johnsing Naw Pomp he
didnt dun rob de safe mnn It wah
lalk dls Dey wah liftin de Bafe up In a
big bulldln wlf a rope an when dey
dun got do safe up tub de top story de
rope braked Dnt nlggah wah
roun nn de safe dls lit on top hie
hnid lt
Mlstah Jones Fo goodnesB sake
Mlstah Johnsing Yes an dat fool
Pomps bald dls nachurly smashed dat
nafe intuh smnll pieces Now dey dun
brot sewt agnln Pomp fer lolterln
Ohio State Journal
Rnre Hooka In the Vatican
The oldest library now In existence
Is thnt of the Vatican nnd It probnbly
contains more literary trensures than
nny other It belongs always to tho
reigning pope and only he can give
permission to enter Thouch thorp nm
only 225000 volumes they are the rar
est in tne world The Vatican library
has the only known copy of the New
Testament written before the end of
the fourth century the original Dante
the oldest existing copy of Virgil and
a Terence which goes back to the
fourth century
r