f i I 4 t a - u v U arJ 6 Thefioirfolkflfcuis An cxohnngo thinks thnt Edward wouldnt mind tho ntgtt if It wasnt Sor Do Wot Arbor tiny is approaching nnd thono trees should bo planted Havo yon nr ranged to perform your sliaro of tho days observance TMchnrd Oroker says thnt Now York is tho bout governed rlty in tho world 11a probably has forgotten that Chicago tuistB but will probably ho reminded of it in short ordor Tho gold reserve In the national treasury now ninonnts to breaking all previous records Every body is prosperous and Undo Sam is getting his share Could it bo possible that a fusion Mark Hauna is encouraging tho sena torial deadlock at Lincoln so thnt tho Topnblicnn party will bo discredited and possibly defeated A Now York physician recently suc cessfully removed four Inches of back Initio from n patient Ho is invited to como west and operate on tho Nebraska Senatorial deadlock It is positively assorted thnt a spirit of reform has struck Dondwood S 1 If there is a rlpor field for tho roformor to work in this side of Nome City It has not yet boon discovered It would bo interesting to know how many womou could pass n millinery store thoso days without breaking tho commandment Thou shnlt not covet 1hy neighbors projorty Alabama is another stato that pro poses to disfranchise tho niggers This govornmont without tho of tho govornod continues roaring farce in tho south wmiin consont to bo a An exchnngo rocitos tho fact that Phil D Armour loft 50000000 when ho died Anothor paper sneoringly re marks Thats nothing A man died juoar hero tho other day and loft tho world T P Nellnm a Frenchman has pur chased a farm near Turner this state and will raiso minks sknnks nud musk rats His visitors nro apt to bo fow and neighbors will probably wish they could anovo thoir farms An English inventor has discovered a process of burying n porson in tho air It was always supposod that somo peo ple were mostly wind but it wns novor considered possible thnt anybody could be dissipated through the air and lost Count Boni do Castollano the much talked abont husband of Anun Gould eoems to bo proteotodngainsthnrm from tho bullets and sword thrusts of duolists but is nu easy mark for tho gossips who jfind him far from being invuluernblo Bixby thinks that the women of Lin coln do not desire womans suffrage from the foot thnt there nre about 0000 women in the city entitled to vote on school eleotions bat barely 50 of that number have in the past availed them selves of tho opportunity If Jessie James and his gang could only be rehabilitated long enough to go down before the legislature and give tho members five minutes in which to ehcll oat a couplo of United States sen ators many of thoir crimes might bo forgiven by tho peoplo of Nebraska Great Britain has a million more wo men than men It wouldnt do for Car rie Nation to get among the gentler sex there and incite a rebellion againBt their leigo lords In view of this etatemont it ia also astonishing that petty nobles should como to this country for a wife Bixby well suggests that a mother should consider it her duty to teach her sons the wickedness of killing song birds The feathered songsters are being rapidly exterminated by boys who con sider it necessary to shoot and use little judgment in the matter of choosing their marks The democrats now assert that it was the fear of Bryan and prevailing pros perity that were responsible for the re election of MoKinley Perhaps it was These seemed to have been paramount issues and either one would probably have been sufficient to warrant a re publican victory One of the Easter novelties handled by the toy men is a miniature hen that lays an egg whenever a button is pressed Now if the inventor could only attach some similar sort of arrangement to the genuine hen not only Easter but every other day in the year would bo happier to those who are compelled to go into their pockets for the wherewithal to purchase hen fruit Residents of Omaha are not yet be jyond being worked by confidence men A stranger recently sneceoded in taking a number of orders -from residents of ithat city for mail boxes requiring a Vnayment of 50 cents The purchasers saw the man again and the boxes fever not delivered Norfolk does not policit n call from him as hor peoplo probably not Invulnerable h gnyiSLJ gwmBnB SSSWfeSlWa Lfeft nro It is said that General Harrisons es tate Is valued at but llttlo moro than fJoOOOO a very Insignificant sum when considered In this day and ago of tho world whon a million is considered but n smnll fortune It is prolmblo that tho docoasod goutloman wns too much of a patriot and too llttlo of a financier to ac quire a fortuno eqnnl to that of tunny of his soclnl nud political associates Tho prospocts for a largo crop of poachoB npricots rnsphotries straw berries blnckhorrios nnd other fruits in California are said to bo very promising with tho probability that It will bo of excellent quality This Is good nows to thoso who havo an nppotito for good fruits nnd who has not It is now hoped thnt tho price will bo within reach of tho pockotboolts of tho meanest of us Two animals with nbnormally de veloped bnmps of curiosity aro Bald to havo oomo together nt Madison Indl nnn Tho first was of tho hnman species and tho second of tho genus cquus Tho man wns curious to know how many tooth his korso had and put his hand in tho brutos mouth Tho horse was anxious to lenm how many lingers tho man had and closed down It is reliably reported that tho curiosity of both wns fully satisfied although it is stated thnt the man came off second host Minister Wu Ting Fung is a very pop ular Chinaman nnd very much in de mand It now appears that his pop ularity will bo greater in this country than thnt of old Prince Li Hung Chang His sorvicos in a speech making capac ity aro solicltod by many citios nnd his timo Ib qnito fully occupied in respond ing China dooB occasionally produce a brainy man and one capable of discuss ing world quoBttons but tho rocont ex hibition by peoplo of thnt country indi cate that tho brainy Chinaman is scarcer than hens tooth The Bolectiou of D E Thompson by the republican caucus last night nt Lin coln is evidently tho beginning of tho oud of tho deadlock nnd it is probable that both senators will bo chosen inside of tho next few days There has been a bittor fight against Mr Thompson but it is probublo that much of it was unde served Thoso republicans who havo opposed his seloction should now give him nn opportunity to show of whnt material ho is mado He may prove as satisfactory to his constituents nB any roproseutntlvo tho state has ever had and his eloction should speedily follow It is probablo that tho man who drinks intoxicants has more taxes to pay than anyone the valuo of his property considered Whon city connty state or nation needs some money that cannot bo raised othorwiso they slap a tax on boor and whiskey with tho result thnt tho foam on tho former extends further down into tho glass and tho lattor promptly attains additional summer qualities with a corrosnoudi ig decline of strength Missiouri has recently found it nocossary to raiso more money and has pat u tax of 10 conts a gallon on distilled spirits It is figured thnt this will increase tho states incomo about 50000 a year Formors invndoJ the Michigan legis lative halls last Tuesday and caused their representatives to pass the Goodoll bill prohibiting tho coloring of oleomar garine so as to resemble butter Farmers in other states should take the some kind of action Such measure are important in that they aid pure food legislation and prevent the substitution of adulterated or Inferior articles for tho genuine When a person pays for batter he likes to feel certain that ho receives butter and the same certainty should be felt when maple syrup buck wheat flour and other artioles of food which have been basely imitated or sub stituted are purchased The Lincoln Journal of recent date not only firmly established the canse of tho anti imperialists but put a lasting quietus on assertions of republicans who have claimed that this republic never has and never will be governed by an emperor It asserts that the ancient meaning of the word emperor or imporitor was commander of an army and as all United States presidents from Washiugtoa down have boon commanders-in-chief of the army of the coautry they have all been emperors and an emperor now reigns Its up to the democrats uow however to show a consistent reason for supporting Em peror Cleveland and other successful candidates of their party The merchants of Norfolk handle a class of goods that are of a quality and style whioh should meet the require ments of the most fastidious If they do not happen to havo the particular kind required they are generally accom modating enough to send in a special order and give no excuse whatever for peoplo to send their orders out of town Whan goods nre purchased out of the city the profits go to people who have no interest whatever in the welfare of the town and contribute nothing to its support their solecare being that there is money enough accompanying the order to pay for the goods They do a strictly cash business and have a keen THE NORFOLK NEWS FRIDAY MARCH 22 1901 eye to tho opportunities prosontcd by peoplo who aro not fully alivo to tho im portance of tho homo pntroungo move ment Tho printers unions of Otnnha aro preparing to boycott tho business mon who send out of town for thoir printing This is as it should bo A merchant who does not pntronizo n homo institu tion should not expect pntroungo in return Omnhn prlntorlos should bo and undoubtedly nro fully equipped to do anytntng in tno lino of printlug re quired by hor business men and they should receive tho work Tho print shops in other towns aro nsualy compe tent to hnudlo tho work of thoir respec tive localities and tho bnsiuess mon certainly havo no excoso to sond to Omaha for thoir work if the Omnhn people find it neccssnry to send else where Thomas Dradloy cx congrcsBman from tho North Now York district nnd ono of the candidates of Dick Croker is very ill in a Washington hospital It is Bald that ho was run by Crokor not because he had legislative or other ability required by tro position to which ho aspired but becanso ho was a good follow Ho was elected nnd his en deavor to establish a reputation for good fellowship in Washington led to his undoing It is said that ho spont moro timo in tho house restaurant than in nttonding tho sessions of that body and he dually developed into n con firmed wine drinker Ho wns turned down by Tammany but that aggra vated rather than eared his failing nnd ho has drifted from bad to worse Ho is but ono of tho many good fellows who becomo tho victims of their efforts to tnnke friends every yenr Governor WellB of Utah doe not pro pose to have his state take a backward stop on tho question of plural marriages and although a Mormon himself has placed his veto upon tho Evan i bill Ho takeB the view that while there may be a few persecutions under the present law tho proposed law wonld placo the entire Btato under a ban This comment of the governors on the bill will no doubt become historical I yield to no one in affection for those my people who from tho highest motives nud bo cause thoy believed it n divine command entered into the relation of plural mar riage Born and reared in Utah mysolf a product of that marriage system taught from infancy to regard my line ngo as approved of the Almighty and proud today as I have ever been of my heritage it will bo granted I trust that every instinct of my nature reaches out 10 shield my friends from harm nnd to protect them from unjust attack Thoir cause is my cause and when thoy are hurt I am hurt for I am port of them But in that same heart whioh is filled with Fympathy for them I find also the solemn feeling that this bill holds out only a false hops of protection aud that in offering a phantom of relief to a few it in reality invites a deluge of discord aud disaster upon all Stand by the Ofllcers This spriug Norfolk is experiencing its usual difficulty in finding good capnblo men willing to mako the sacri fice of accepting a city office and that there are such men yet to be found should be cause for congratulation on the part of the people Eaoh yenr it is becom ing more apparent that a number of city offices aro for from being desirable positions in which to place a man and one term 1b sufficient to satisfy or rather one term is all that can be urged on one man This is an undesirable condition of affairs and one for which tho people nre largely responsible It is the result of expecting too much work from an offi cer whose monetary remuneration is practically nothing and tho honors of the office scarcely more all this backed by acrimonious constant and often un just criticisms The officers most at tacked are strangely enough the ones receiving the least pay The mayor the polioe judge members of the council and members of the board of education are the targets for these critics In most instances where the actions of an officer are criticised it is done because all the circumstances are not fully understood and comes from a misunderstanding which becomes more perverted the moro times it is repeated Broadly stated it is the duty of every business man to serve at least one term either as mayor councilman or member of the school board and yet few do it When they will not serve themselves then they should stand by thoso who do serve giving them credit for being honest in their actions and disposing of evonts to the best of thoir judgment as the conditions are presented to them If this wholesale criticism is not stopped Norfolk will seo the time when competent officials cannot be secured and her officers will in fact be the theme for just criticism and objects of reproach to the city It is time the practice should be dis couraged and when tho majority of voters select an official that majority as well as tho minority should acquiesce iu the choice and uphold his actions at has not satisfactorily performed his duties a change may be made The timo has como for the people to turn over a now leaf aud tho present campaign should be conducted with this ultimate object in sight May pork jumped to 1635 on tho Chicago market Tuesday nnd farmers who have fat pork to sell aro happy Tho prohibitionists of Donvor havo nominntcd a city ticket composed en tirely of women Tho ticket will prob ably not havo a clean Bweop Tho habit of withdrawing from the race which seemB to bo epidemic in Norfolk this spring is taking oonsldor nblo excitement out of tho city cam paign The Indiana man who was boating his wifo was hit over tho head with an ax by his 10 y oars old daughter Tho girl Hhould bo cleared oven though hor parent dies March tho 21st may bo spring but by tho great John Rogers March tho -Kith couldnt bo pnsBcd off on a man who was doaf dumb blind paralyzed and doad for a spring dny If the legislators have regard for tho peoplo of the state their constitnents nnd the future success of republican legislative tickets at tho polls they will break thnt senatorial deadlock and elect The World Herald suggests that Colonel lloosevolt might have some gennino sport by tackling the Maroh Hon Perhaps Colonel Bryan might got him after ho has beon put through a taming process Norfolk Booms to bo about the only locality in the state that has escaped a small pox scare for which her citizens nre duly thankful Howover thoso places that have had the scare dont ap pear to have had mnch else England is seriously considering the adoption of a protective tariff system The London Daily Mail on Monday said The real causes of Americas wonder ful commercial success may be summed up in the words tariff nnd great alert ness The danger of giving too much notor iety to the doings of criminals is evi denced in the Pat Crowe kidnapping case Mr Crowe has thousands of imi tators in all parts of tho country and the city or village that has not experienced a hold up of the Crowe type is bocoming a decided rarity If that Massachusetts man who has discovered how to make cheap artificial f uol is not a Nicola Tesla and his dis covery proves practical everybody will take off their hats to him It is likely however that tho fellows with coal to sell conld make it an object for the in venter to retain his secret A show company that uses ndvertis ing matter bearing the phrase Every body goes to a Hole in the Ground re cently nunc one of them in an under takers place of business nud the mem bers were surprised at a lack of patron- ace The peope were fearful that the company was in the employ of the un dertnker General Mariano Trios commander of the rebel forces in the southern prov ince of Luzon has surrendered and taken the oath of allegiance to the United States and the Hong Kong junta is said to be breaking up Now if Petti grew would surrender and take the oath of allegiance the rebellion might be con sidered as a matter of history only The people of San Francisco are to witness the flight of an air ship on May 1 according to report The machine is 228 feet long weighs 13000 pounds and has an estimated lifting capacity of 21 000 pounds The cost of the ship is computed at 00000 The engineer will please notify the people of Nebraska if its trial trip will bring it across this state 6o that we may be on the lookout for it The State Liquor Dealers association has authorized the payment of fCOO as a reward to those who assisted in catch ing and apprehending the murderers of Herman Zahn of Snyder The lions share of the reward will go to bberiff Phillips Whatever may be said of the liquor dealers of Nebraska it cannot be denied that they are prompt and effectual in avenging through due pro cess of law one of their number Mr Bryans visit east was evidently not to see how he could best give away advertising space in the Commoner to the common people but to learn the highest rate it was possible to ask from the octopuses Through the assistance of some of the leading magnates of the newspaper world who have a monopoly or Buppose they have of all the best brains of the country he will probably bo successful in accomplishing his pur pose A bride of Cleveland Ohio sold her wedding ring and pur chased a revolver with which she killed herself because she and her husband had quarrelled They had been married but a few weeks She should have tried it lone enough to realize that a least until a campaign opens when if he quarrel is ordinarily considered a very uuimportant diversion to wedded life It would have been time enough to shoot when her husband began hurling the crockery and furniture at hor The Congregational minister toon 111 nsos half page advertisement in tho local papers and is finding it a great success Tho experiment has been condnctcd for three weeks nnd during that timo a 7MK debt against tho church has boon paid off Thoso peoplo commonly deslgnacd as emtnlsBarios of tho devil by church people find it profit ablo to ndverMso and why tho chnrohos conld not mnko tho same method profit able in a spiritual and financial sense is not proven Tho Holt Connty Independent of last week was published by the ladles of tho M E church of that city Ono item says Ono hundred and twelve couples got pormits to wed from the county judgo during tho yonr 1900 Dont think from this bovs that tho licenses nre nil gone Tho judgo reports thnt ho has several left and the prico remains tho same notwithstanding the upward tendency ofpriceBof everything else It is rumored that tho boys nre en deavoring to discover whether tho item wns written by some handsome young girl or n garrulous old mnid Seventeen republicans wore nbsent from the canons that nominated D E Thompson aud it is positively asserted that nine will refnso to vote for the choice of tho caucus It would seem that a large share of tho trouble among the republicans in the legislature could be avoided if they would Bubmit to tho time honored rule of the majority It is unreasonable to ask tho large mojority to submit to the dictation of a few and it is positively outrageous that a few should pull back and refuse to act unless their wishes are considered The people oi the state readily submit to the wishes of tho majority and why it should not be so in the legislature chosen by those people is not satisfactorily explainable The voters would unquestionably stand by tho ohoioe of the legislature if the majority should reach a decision They ore undoubtedly qualified to choose It is this indecision that plays havoc A LONG SIEGE Tlifct of Glbrnltnr Brcnks the Record of Modern Time Although by no means the most terri ble the last siege of Gibraltar when the Hock was held by a British garrison under General Elliot against the com bined efforts of the Spaniards nnd French from July 5 1779 to Nov 20 17S1 holds the record as the longest important siege of modern times The fact that every now and again the gar rison were able to add to their pro visions by successful sorties kept them from succumbing to hunger but scurvy claimed nearly 1000 victims For weeks together over G000 shells were thrown Into the town daily A curious point about this siege Is that the governor of Gibraltar after having done everything he could think of to strengthen the fortifications issued a proclamation calling on any of the gar rison who had any schemes to propose to call on him with them as he did not wish the Rock to fall when by listening but a few minutes to a private Individ ual it might be saved By holding the fortress of Plevna during the Russo Turkisb war from Sept 7 1S77 to Dec 10 against the pick of the Russian army the Turkish garrison under Osman Pasha accom plished the Impossible according to both military and medical experts for not only did they defy the besieging force when It numbered nearly 50 to 1 against them but they lived for 12 weeks practically without food Yet on Dec 10 nfter having eaten their last grain of rye they sallied out and plucklly tried to cut their way through the Russians London Mall An American Dnet During my residence in Heidelberg a lamentable and terrible affair took place that threw a profound gloom over the university and the entire town Two German students having quarreled decided the earth was not large enough for both of them to live in and resorted to the diabolical prac tice called the American duel In a darkoned room the two young men drew lots having sworn that he who drew the black ball would commit suicide The unhappy loser went to his room and discharged a bullet Into his breast but missed his heart and lingered for several days on bis death bed His parents were summoned by telegraph and besought him on their knees to disclose the name of his an tagonist but he steadfastly refused and died with the secret In his breast The students not only excused his conduct but praised his courage and when his remains were taken to tho railway station to be transported to a distant city they accompanied the fu neral cortege with torches and music The students claimed he was not a sui cide for he was killed In nn honorable duel and they maintained that his op ponent was not accessory to his death because he shot himself I had many arguments with them and never could convince them of their extraordinary tergiversation Science Of all dreary roads few have such desolate surroundings as that leading from Jerusalem The road winds among rocky hills which for miles seem destitute of every living thing save occasional flocks of long black haired goats and sheep apparently eating pebbles and attended by a youth ful shepueru Tlie steep Hillsides are dotted with numerous holes and caves cut in the rock IndlaunpollB News For a finger nnll to reach Its full length nn avernge of seven twelfths of nu Inch from 121 to 138 days of growth nre necessary Women forgive forget slights Injuries bnt never HOW YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE The Time Kiiicndnl on nn Arerase In the Dnlly Itoutlnc An ordinary man would laugh away ns prei osterous the suggestion thnt he was likely to spend 20 jenrs of his llfo In sleep But thnt Is because he doe not conduct his llfo according to a schedule nnd tenlly has no Iden of how he does spend It As n matter of fact most men over CO years old have al ready spent more than 20 yenrs In bed which Is only one of the surprises In store for the man who sets himself to work to discover how those 24 hours thnt dnlly hllp by so mysteriously are disposed of By a palnstnklng study of nvernges a skilled statistician hns recently arrived nt tho conclusion expressed In the fol lowing figures They apply to the avernge American mnn of W yenrs of age They do not accurately represent his life today because his years of In fancy nnd childhood nro Included in the computation They will apply nei ther to the man of leisure nor to the Inborlng mnn But perhaps the aver age mnn who both works nnd plnyB -will recognize himself In them Twenty years In sleep Three yenrs nine months In eating and wnltlng for the wnlter Seventeen years six months In work ing Seven yenrs six months In pursuit of pleasure Six yenrs three months In wnlklng and other exercise Two yenrs six months In making ones toilet Two years six months doing abso lutely nothing The Item of toilet mny be subdivided into seven months for shnvlng 11 months for washing one yenr for dressing Most men wnlk nbout three yenrs nnd six mouths nnd spend two years and nine months In other cxer clses The little table becomes more Intel ligible If less comprehensive when it is reduced to n settle of days lu which case It stands ns follows Eight hours sleeping One hour 30 minutes eating Seven hours working Three hours amusement Two hours 30 minutes exercise 4 One hour toilet One hour doing nothing The avernge mnn If confronted with this will doubtless claim that he does not spend eight hours In sleep You mny retort by telling him that It Is doubtful whether ho spends seven nt work but In his youth he slept more and worked less nnd all this Is taken Into account In estimating averages An elaboration in any direction of the statistics given nbove is interest ing For Instance It has been com puted that In n single year a man may speak 11800000 words aud give 1200 handshakes The total energy dis pensed In this fashion alone during 50 years would be sufficient to raise 2500 tons Then again one may open nnd shut the eyes 95000000 times during a sin gle year The force thus expended yearly through 00 years would be If accumulated sufficient to lift a cable car filled with pasbengers a good many feet St Louis Post Dispatch Saved n Collie Doe Mr Robert Mncdougall one of the meteorologists at Ben Nevis observa tory had n most exciting experience when climbing that mountain one day Ills only companion lu tho ascent was a collie dog to whom ho snys he owes his life When maneuvering on a Bnowsllde about 1000 feet nbove the half way station Mr Mncdougall lost bis footing and ns the surface of tho snow wns glazed and hard he was soon being whirled down a gully at an alarming pace sometimes head fore most nt others the reverse It wns nt this juncture that the dogs sagacity came in As soon as Mr Mncdougall began to slide it caught his coat with its teeth and greatly im peded the downward progress The dog ultimately guided him to a place of safety after the twain had slid down on the snow for nearly 1000 feet Strange to say neither observer nor dog wns much hurt nnd the former breaking open the door of the half way hut lit n fire Here he wns found by a search party half asleep with the dog watching over him Westminster Gazette Only One Stde The family were at their devotions the other morning In the home of a west end clergyman Mas ter Six-year-old thought his papas prayer was rather long when break fast was waiting nnd he under took to beat a quiet retreat to the kitchen Suddenly there was a crash and n tabic with its contents fell to the floor with the young deserter from the family altar beneath It Prayers were Interrupted temporarily and when they were resumed the father prayed for the naughty boy A short time later the lads mamma found him In a closet up stulrs He was sobbing bitterly Oh mamma ho exclaimed Indlg nnntly Papa tells God of nil the bad things I do but never tells blm a word about the good thnts In me--Cleveland Plain Dealer Indaatrlona Jackdaws Once jackdaws have taken a fancy to nuy particular situation they will per form the most astonishing tasks In the way of collecting sticks wherewith to make n foundation for their nest A pair once tried to build In the hell tower of Eton college chapel England and In the space of 17 days formed a 6olld pillar of sticks no less than ten feet In height Another couple com pletely blocked up a church tower lu tho space of three weeks by collecting a cartload of sticks which they placed nno unnn nnnitini utiill 41 HAnA wAw uit uuii IUC UiUDD 1UOU I to 12 feet in height ff l t UITJ lUlgJU - I MBPB