vq
8
muKHLd Hnu b nuuonud1
ALLWFME WILLING TO MISK THIi CIR
CUS POSTERS AGAIN
Vn Voi hltm Ilir trrlcliii
Irr IV tin IIi Armiinrntn Tlint
Mcip ruiMl llic IMiili Tlml Worn
I Slniln mill llo I In IIioInIiiii Cniiir
tCopyrlxht l by C H lwlsl
It was Moiph Harper who licuim It
Porno ono told hhn lint n olrous ltd
vertlnln wnpm wns slowly Iml surely
iippronchlnp tlio town of lorlelio and
lie lot It Iv linowu tlml lio would show
nt tlio postollloo In tin cvimiIii nml
invo Runtliln to say to Intel ohI tlio Imll
United States Nnlindy rould Kin
whether Mosoh lmd found a now wny
of Rlttln n 111 rod iinui up at I oclock In
NI10 inornln or was roIii to oxporlniont
Ion Rrowln broomsticks nnd tlio crowd
jwna lioldln Its brenth when lio showed
kip Mom didnt lose no vnlliulilo lino
try In to II ml out whether Porto Klro
wolotigcd to tlio United Slut oh or to 11
Itoluieco tniHt but put on IiIh opcrtncloH
nnd mild
Citizens of Tlio tocsin hni
wounded nnd wo nro lioro tonight to
counsel together In tlio oiiiiho of nioml
ity Lust your ns iiiohI of you know
rO
jLfpfliMtiiriiiftn MWiTTiiri1
Si
gU
fftirJ vZSwjri
lylifj
lllK AM0KIV COLOH9 OK VICK AND nWIKA
DATION
Jonas Teachout whoso 1mm faces tlio
highway a tnllo outside of UiIh town
allowed the circus wagon to paste up
pictures on three sides of tho liulldln
How ninny tickets for tho circus ho
Kot In exchange I do not know and It
lias nnthlu to do with tlio question
VVIint Im Niiyln Is thnt thorn pictures
lu my solemn belief shocked tho mor
als of this community fur worse than
as If ten saloons had been opened In
itho town The circus wagon Ih ugln
appronehln It Is creepln along In Its
ely InsIduoiiH wny leavln tho blight
of destruction lu Its path and If Him
Jtliln aint done Jonas Teachouts bnm
Will ngln be enwrapped In the allurln
colors of vice and degradation 1 move
pint It Is tho House of this ineotln nnd
of the community lu gluernl that Jo
uas be Btrugglod with
It nppcnrs to 1110 says Deacon
Bpooner ns Moses sat down that a
iplnt bns bin mado When Moses talks
of ullurln colors of vice and degrada
tion 1 seem to see before me them pic
tures of wlmon Junipln through paper
hoops However Id like to hear from
Silas Lapham I reckon hes Interest
ed In the mornl welfare of this com
munity
I aint blamln Jonas tall says Si
las He got 112 deadhead tickets fur
the use of his barn and I dont believe
unybody was the wickeder fur It If a
ninu cant gnzo at circus pictures with
out goln away nnd Htealln a barT of
soft sonp then he aint no man Did
any wife run away from her husband
liecaiiHo of them pictures Did any
husband elope with tho hired gal be
cause of them
ThntH n plnt and I says Its u
plnt exclaims the deacon as he hus
tles about Them circus pictures was
on thnt barn fur two months but what
famly was busted up through their In
fluence Its fur Moses to specify
whar vice got Its toehold
I nlut saylu that any fannies was
busted up continues Moses but Im
talkln bout the glucrnl Influence on
glneml morality A circus picture Is
nuthlu but a picture but It suggests
lemonade and peanuts and whisky and
poker and belu out late nights They
aro like plzen Ivy You come across It
In the woods and It Is fair to look up
on and It seems to bo rooted lu Inno
cence and thrlvin lu morality You
handle It nnd you begin to Itch and
scratch nnd llml yourself plzened Like
n hydra headed sarplnt It lays In wait
to work destruction to the unwary I
hope this ineetln nnd this community
air with me nnd that It will be decided
to wrassle with Jonas Teachout
Moses didnt seem to make a plnt
on the peanuts nnd lemonade says
tho deacon as he scratches his ear
but he was powerful strong on that
plzen Ivy beln rooted lu Innoccuce I
kin almost see whar circus pictures
might influence me to go homo ami
pound my old cow with a sled stake If
Hhe didnt keep her tall still while I
iwas mllkin but Im wlllln to hear more
nrgyments Enos Williams you driv
by that barn twice n day all summer
How did them pictures a tree t you
Kot much different from a huskln
bee says Enos I didnt feel no
feelins of wickedness stealln oer me
but I did sort of make a fool of myself
I found a soft spot lu the barnyard and
tried to turn a handspring and fur
about two hours they thought my neck
was busted Im thluklu that hard elder
has more glneral lullueuco on giueral
morality In this community than cir
cus pictures
Its n plnt shouts the deacon ns
ho waves his cane on high Its a
plnt nobody kin git over Its hard
cider thats backin vice all over this
county and hlstln innocence over the
fence whenever they meet However
It may be that circus pictures also
I have their Iniluenco Moroh have you
got any mote nrg1 incuts
i if what use 7 says Mnfcs as he
hoaviMii slghainl 111 ns away Wasnt
Sudani warned ld Sudani heed ItV
When vice stalks rampant through ev
ery household lu Icrlclm and Iniiocencn
Is dilv to the tlehls to Hit under a
blackberry hush and weep then re
member what I have said hero tonight
I aint deiiylu that hard elder In bliuil
lu our molality but when you add clr
ens pictures to hard elder what do
you do
Yes Kodnui was warned nnd Rod
am fell says the deacon as ho shakes
his head hut Id like to hear from
Llsh Hillings oil this matter
Its party lale snys Llsh
How purly Into
Why Jonas has rented bin barn
nglu and got 121 deadhead tickets and
heres one ho give inc IIowh that fur
n plnt
The ineetln Hlood nppnllcd fur n intu
it nnd then Deacon Spooner looks
around nnd says
JoniiH has got 20 tickets left nnd
that menus ho has 111 more to glvo
nway outside IiIh famly Kellow coun
trymen do you take It that this ineetln
has pledged herself
No no not shouted the crowd
Is It the opinion of this meetlu that
JonnH Teachout ought to be wrassled
with
No no mil
Then Im appenlln directly to Moses
Harper Mohch will you withdraw
them remarks nbont the blight of de
struction tho allurln colors of vlco
and Innooouoo weepln under n black
berry bush
I might says Moses after n little
reflection but I wnnt to bo let down
easy
It Rhall be done Im ofTcrln the fob
lowln resolution to bo voted on He
solved That circus pictures on a barn
may or may not affect tho moral
standard of n community but we aro
wlllln to chance It this year All In
favor or ngln will innnlfcst It In tho
usunl way
Tho resolution was cnrrled with a
whoop and tlio crowd piled over Itself
to get outdoors and look around for
Jonas Teachout and beg fur deadhead
tickets and Moses Harper wasnt one
of the Inst M Quad
HIRED GIRLS PROGRESS
Fublr SIiimvIiih AVImlnm of Silence
CoucrriiliiK Some Tilings
Once upon a time there came Into tho
city from tho country a girl The girl
wandered from her happy homo to se
cure employment among the wealthy
families of the city and when sho
made knowu the fact that she was
willing to work many persons sought
her and Implored her to engage with
them in domestic pursuits The girl
was overwhelmed with offers but Anal
ly mado a selection and settled lu a
family that valued her services very
highly The girl was happy uutll one
day her employer met 11 neighbor a
very dear friend nnd told her of her
good fortune in tludlug the count 1
girl And this neighbor met another
very dear friend and told her of lur
other friends good luck and thus did
It become generally known that there
was a good hired girl In the neigh
borhood
And from that time on the mistress
and the girl were unhappy until one
day the very dear friend gave the girl
150 more a week than she was earn
ing In her first place and lu this man
ner did the girl become happy agal 1
while her mistress nnd the very dear
friend ceased to be on speaklug terms
And then the girl beenme unhappy
again until the other very dear friend
engaged her at an advance of 1 nnd
the other dear friend and the first dear
friend ceased to talk over the back
fence And then tho good girl wore
flue dresses and line hats and one day
a dashing young man led her to the
altar and now the three friends nnd
tho poor country girl aro all very
happy
Moral Dont talk good nbout your
hired girl Detroit Free Press
A Dnnlmhunil TrnKctljr
Stlmlers collnr button rolled under
the bureau
Yes
And he sicked his dachshund after
it
Go on
The bureau Is heavy and stnnds
close to the floor
Proceed
Tho dachshund Is the thinnest
dachshund thnt ever breathed and he
could Just squeeze under tho bureau
WoU
Well the dachshund reached the
collar button nnd nt once swallowed it
It stuck half way down and thickened
the dog so that he couldnt pull himself
past the lump So Stlmler hnd to call
In the Janitor of the flat and they lift
ed the bureau off the dog
What ubout the buttou
Stlmler said hed let tlio dog keep
tho button He might need it
Need It
Yes In ense somebody collared him
Cleveland Plain Dealer
A Lour Llulitntiii Conductor
Bavaria boasts that It has the longest
lightning conductor lu tho world It
rises some yards above the top of tho
meteorological station on the Zug
spltze the highest point lu the German
empire and runs down the side of
the mountain to the bottom of the Hoi
lenthal where there is running water
all the year round The length of tie
rod is Ave ami a half kilometers nearly
three miles and a half
A philosopher says that every Villus
Is a step toward success This ex
plains why some men become richer
every time they fall Chicago News
It Is unfortunate that every ones
memory is best lu retaining things it
would be more genteel to forget Atch
ison Globe
THK NORFOLK NNWS FRIDAY NOVEMBER 30 J900
I MI 11
THE GRAND PROMOTER EXEMPLIFIES
IT AS A TINE ART
Mnjor Crnfoot O run 11 1 ri n it Nmt
Silii iiir nl Clunnlli Proportion
mil lcniriiiiMlr Tnlton In Ilia Irlnl
it oil tln Iroilml Floor
Copyright lDiY by C tl 1iwln
It was the printer with IiIh bill for
Jloon olllce cards and he knocked on
Major Crofools olllce door lu that hnlf
hearted way adopted by creditors who
feel that they must call and yet have
no faith that the bill will be paid
Come In and good morning to you
good morning shouted the mnjor ns
he sprang up and extended his linud
and shook so heartily that the callers
hat was nearly Jostled oft his head
When the shaking hud been concluded
he said
1 have been expecting you up hero
every day for a week and If you
L
fSsTiri r W
fllwl fftil II
SIMlIY TO HKST KASY
hadnt called today I should have sent
a rnesseuger to hunt you up Did you
remember to bring the bill
Yes sir replied the printer as be
handed It over
Goodl Lets see Its for 4t50
and I pronounce It correct absolutely
correct There never was a more cor
rect account rendered never lu this
commercial world And now you want
n check for it of course I must usk
you to excuse me that this trifle has
run so loug but when a man Is dealing
In millions he Is a it to forget dollars
That Is all right major replied the
printer ns a soft smile stole over his
face ami he began wondering why he
hnd ever called tho promoter a dead
beat
Thanks for your confidence your
flnauclal confidence I like men to
have confidence In me Let me tell
you sir that tho man who puts his
trust In Mnjor Crofoot grand promo
ter gigantic originator and tremendous
consolldator loses nothing by It Hero
Is n bill for 450 It has run for weeks
and months Instead of wearing out
tho stairs nnd pounding on my door
you have been content to let time slip
along You felt that your money was
safe You believed that I would pay
on presentation Ah sir but I love to
witness such exhibitions of confidence
I lovo to do It Let us shake hands
again
Im In a bit of n hurry this morn
ing remarked the printer ns a doubt
suddenly entered his mind nnd sent a
chill up his back
Ah yes of course you are of
course nnd my time Is also limited
but do you know what I am going to
do Instead of debating about a bill
for 450 I am going to talk to you of
thousands nnd hundreds of thousands
nnd millions My dear man you have
arrived at an opportune moment It
almost seems as if the hand of Provl
deuco was lu it navlug displayed
your confidence in tho financial In
tegrity of Major Crofoot and arrived
at au opportune moment what fol
lows
You pay the bill for 450 replied
tho printer
It follows sir It follows ns natu
rally as night follows day but with a
heap more cash lu It that I take you
In on tho ground floor Behold those
papers on my desk I had Just ceased
to Uguro when you came lu I had
finished tho lust Hue of my prospectus
Behold sir behold the organization of
tho Wide World Chicken nnd Infant
Bulslug company with a capital of
10000000
Major I called
You culled sir you called nt an op
portune moment By calling you put
It in my power to provo my gratitude
lu something besides words What Is
the Wide World Chicken nnd Iufant
Kulslug company As Its name im
plies tho object Is to raise chickens
and infants How sir how Ah that
Is Major Crofoots great discovery
which has enabled htm to organize a
company on a basis of 20000000
Tho discovery Is not original but we
apply it ns it has never been applied
before We incubate chickens but by
the million Instead of the score Take
your pencil nnd figure a little
But I camo up for my 450 Bald
tho printer lu ugly tones
Take your pencil nnd figure Eggs
can bo bought for 20 cents a dozen
For 2 cents additional one dozen chick
en can bo produced Tour cents more
and you have a dozen spring chickens
worth CO cents apiece at the Incubator
total for eggs incubating nnd feeding
30 cents totnl for chickens 0 clear
profit to divide up on every dozen
570 Can Crlpplo Creek or the din
mond mines beat it We produce 20
000000 dozen chickens per year Fig
ure It out mau figure It out Do you
want greater dividends than 70 per
cent on your capital If you do
What about this bill demanded
the printer as ho lifted It off the desk
and laid it back again
If you do contluued the major as
he walked about the room with hands
crossed under his coattalls then you
shall hare it We Incubate Infants In
tlio snmo machines with only a thin
partition between Wo take Infants
after they aro 21 hours old while
Muck or any other color and without
reference to e- nnd we bring them
up until they arc a year old lit ho much
per week Terms are strictly cash lu
advaiiM every Monday morning nnd
every kid Is marked on the right heel
with our stump and cant get lost or
mixed ut In the shulllc Whlln we nro
hutching nut iDOO dozen eggs we are
bringing up Kinnoo Infants I put
the number nt that but It may be a
few dozen more or Two dollars n
week for 100000 Infants Is over 10
000000 per year tnll the expense for
milk paregoric ami toast 1000000
nml what profit do you have loft
Hut 1 have come here to collect a
bill
The 0000000 profit on the Infants
ndded to the profits on the chickens
gives us a dividend of 120 on the dol
lar and can you ask for more sir can
you do It Why man the wealth of
Golconda Is not In Iti The Do Beers
diamond bonds are waste paper In com
parison And you are to share In It
Yoii are no longer a struggling printer
on the seventh llonr buck but u mil
lionaire on the first floor front I tnke
you In I allot you 100000 worth of
stock at cents on the dollar and lu
two weeks If you care to sell out I
buy It at par Thats your reward for
your confidence lu Major Crofoot thats
what comes
But I have no confidence In you I
shouted the creditor Pay this bill
and you call Incubate and be hanged
anil keep nil the profits
You have simply to rest easy con
tinued the mnjor as he began to walk
on the mans toes and drive him to
ward the door Just keep quiet for a
couple of weeks until the stock Is Is
sued If anything was said at the
present time
What you pushing me for
If anything wns said at the present
time some one might cut lu on us Just
go right back to your shop
1 want thnt money
and keep mum and the stock will
bo sent to you In due time Thats It
good day good duy Your confidence
lu Mnjor Crofoot lias brought Its re
ward
Look here mnjor shouted the
printer ns he hammered on thj out
side of the door you ure nu old dead
beat You you
The bill was shoved under the door
against his toes He picked It up
gave the door three hearty kicks and
slowly went down stairs Ilo realized
that he had been taken In on tho
ground floor M Quad
Jnatlcr In Ilnitt
Judicial protoclurc In Haiti Is In cer
tain Instances not untouched by hu
mor A Haitian owed a trader 28 A
Judgment requiring tlio Haitian to pay
4 a week Into court was given and
tho trader was to send a messenger
every week to the magistrate for the
money In due time he sent for tho
first Installment and was Informed
that the Haitian had not paid up but
that lie should be thrown into prison
for Ills failure
Three weeks passed with the same
result One morning the Hnltlnn came
to the traders store He was he said
a poor man much married a man to
whom therefore expense came What
good ho asked would accrue to the
trader If he the poor man was thrown
Into prison Let the trader forgive
him his debt and earn thereby untold
rewards In a future state
After some talk the trader gave him
a letter of remission which bo went off
to present to the magistrate The af
fair was settled but the Hnltlan was
struck by tho bad grace with which
the magistrate dismissed him and ha
forthwith returned to the trader and
asked him If he had received the 8 ho
had already paid into court The trad
er looked surprised and said he had
received nothing
Then olnce you have remitted tho
debt that S Is mine said the Hai
tian
Accordingly he went off to the court
to present bis claim The magistrate
at once committed him to prison A
consul who had heard the story asked
the magistrate what the Haitian was
eent to prison for
For contempt of court was thr
reply
Inronip of n Slerplnir Car
The Income or earning capacity of a
sleeping car Is considerable Take tho
run from New York to Chicago lC
miles Every road lu the United Stat
pays 11 centP a mile for the privilege of
hauling n sl and contracts to ro
turn said enr in as good shape as It Is
received ami to pay for all damages
The journe on the limited expresses
to Chicago mnde in 24 houra there
fore the car earns 30 a day for travel
If It Is full which Is generally the
I case receipts from berths sections and
staterooms amount to 1S5 making a
totul revenue of 125 a dny Out of
this must come the wages of the por
ter and conductor the latter however
usually having charge of several cars
the towels sheets soap Ice etc tho
whole amounting to but a small sum
Then there are the wear and tear and
general depreciation the dally cleat
Ing the nnuunl refitting and repaint
ing Set these charges down at 10 per
cent and give tho car three trips a
week of 1000 miles each and wo have
Its enrnlngs nt over 00000 annunll
Some can earn a great deal more
Kansas City Journal
A Truthful Mau
Miss Plalnfaco earnestly But If I
had not nil this money do you think
you could still be happy with me
Mr Seekrox stnrtled but equal to
tho emergency A a a happy Is not
tho word for It Brooklyn Life
A brass plate In the Alabama capltol
In Montgomery marks the place where
Jefferson Davis stood when lie took
the oath of olllce as president of the
Southern Confederacy
vtt vr
Railroad and Business Directory
60
u
o
o
OQ
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O
z
R R TIME TABLE
Fremont Elkhorn Mo Valley
KAHT lErRT
Oitiiilm IoflBoiiitnr fl OSnin
CluciiKii Kxinoss 12J0pm
uiST akiii vf
lilcauo KjiproAa 7Jn t m
iiiilm IHSMUiKur 1210 p m
WONT UKlAHT
ck llllln rixiirpos 710pm
nllKro lnnAcntfBr 1210 p m
unllKrn Accuimtiotlntlon PKXIiim
HKST AnillVI
Illnck Htlln Kxproas 12 ft p in
iTtliRro PiwautiRor Ki5miii
Viinlluio AccoimmxlAtion 7 20 p m
TlinUilcdKo nnd Muck Hlll Kxprcn urrivoo
nni ilopnrtfl from Junction ilnpol Tlio Oninlm
nml orillnro trains arrlvo nml riopnrt from city
depot II 11 Matiiau AKent
Union Pacific
SOUTH IiPAtlT
olumbiiH AccominiHintlon 03lpm
Uiiinhn Donvoriuitl Pnclllo Const 110 a m
north AnntVH
olumbna Aeo mmoilntlon 1030pm
mnliM hrnvurmiil Irfelllc const fl 00 pm
toiiiip in it Norfolk with F IS A M V koIiib
wi Ht iiil uortli Hnd with tho O at P M O
for omla imitli ami nnst
F W Junkman Agent
Chicago St Paul Minneapolis
Omaha
BAHT DKrABT
Sioux City nnd Omaha Pns9ongor il am
Sioux IllyPnurtnuKor 100 pm
WFHT AUIUVK
siotix City Pnssnmtor I0Vnm
biocx City nml Omiiht Pnssuior 730 pm
Gounnctfl nt Norfolk with 1 K M V boIiik
woBt and north mid with tlio U P for pointB
gonth F W Junkman Agent
Dully uxcopt Siiuduy
PrCTOV
c s
HAYES
Fine Wntch
Repairing
MISS MARY SHFLLY
DRESSMAKER
Over Ilmiiii Pros Storo
Spenoef fl Ovelmnn
Boots and oos
Repairing Neatly Done
JBHERMANN
Contractor and Builder
1 1 7 Fourth Street
Al C WALKER
Flour and Feed
411 Norfolk Avonuo
INSKEEPS MIliLINERY
Cheapest nnd Uest
Norfolk Avenue
JWEDWARDS
All Wobk Guaranteed
Gor Hrnnsch nvo nnd 4th St
The Norfolk Horseshoer
Time is Money
THEQUICK
TRAINS
ARE VIA
THE UNION PACIFIC
Missouri River to Salt Lake City
TEN HOURS QUICKER THA17 ANY OTHER LINE
Hissouri River to San Francisco
FIFTEEN HOURS QUICKER THAN ANY OTHER LINE
Missouri River to Portland
FIFTEEN HOURS QUICKER THAN ANY OTHER LI1JE
Bnffot Smoking and Library Cars with Barber Shops and Pleasant
Reading Rooms Double Drawing Room Palace Sleepers Diuin Cars
Meals a la Carte Pintsch Light
For full information call on or addross
F W JUNEMAN Agent
The Norfolk Gash Store
SELLS
Staple and Fancy Groceries
GLASSWARE QUEFNSWARE CROCKERY
Straw Hats and Shoes at cost
Fnie Teas and Coffees a specialty Try our fain us
Mellowrich coffee the finest brand iu the market
We are headquarters for fresh fruits of all kinds
We sell the celebrated Pierce and Neligh Flours
Highest prices paid for Butter and Eggs
J G BOHNERT Propr
Telephone 35
fliee lthJSt
Before the Strike
Thirty days ago we had a solid train
load of Hard Coal on track Now it be
longs to our many customers and is in
their bins for their comfort
NOW IS THE TIME
AND
THIS IS THE PLACE
to place your orders for soft coal Lay
your coal early this year You wont
miss it
HEHARDY
Edisons Phonograph
Better than a Tiano Organ or Music Box for it sings and talks as well as nlavaand
dontcostas much It reproduces the music of any instrument band or orchestra tella
Btorim and old familiar hymns as well as tho popular songs it Is alwaya ready
Sat ntnSf ft is on cy machine Catil
oi oil i dealers or NATIONAL PHONOGRAPH
logues CO 135 Fifth Ave New York 4
K