Hark ! the merry chimes are warning
us that this is Christmas morn
ing ,
And It's time that we were rising ,
though the hour Isn't late.
Still , the kldlets will be flocking , each
to overhaul his stocking ,
And there's scads of things we've
got to do that really cannot wait
Yet , before we kick the clothes off ( quite determined not to doze off ) ,
Let's indulge in dreamy musing on this Joyous Christmastlde ;
Let us , while the bells are pealing , get up some real Christmas feeling ,
Fill ourselves with sweet emotions that are not quite cut and dried.
True , the minutes fast are gliding , but , consarn 'em , let 'em glide.
Think of these long weeks of waiting , all the glad anticipating
Of the gay and festive season that at last , at last is here ;
Never resting , never stopping in our mad career of shopping ,
Searching over the ideal , not too cheap and not too dear ;
Crushed and elbowed In the reeking crowds , that like ourselves are seeking
Just the very thing of all things that their loved ones most desired.
Limp and draggled then emerging from the pushing , struggling , surging
Mob , with' parcels overladen , reaching home at last , dog tired.
Those experiences may be best described as "most all-fired. "
Yet no antiquated stoic showed endur
ance more heroic
'Than ' we'vo manifested through the
weary ordeal of that time ;
We have stood the stress of barter with
the courage of a martyr ;
Now we find sweet compensation
list'ning to the Christmas chime.
Whose clear cadence , soft and mellow , seems to whisper to a fellow
That the worst is nearly over , that we soon may breathe again ,
Soon may find surcease of sorrow , and that , maybe by tomorrow
Or the next day , may be lifted something of this mental strain ,
That a blessed sense of rest may soothe the tissues of our brain.
t
We have done with haste and flurry , no occasion now to worry ,
Lest some sensitive relation may have been quite overlooked.
All the lists of names are checked and all the walls with green are decked , and
Now within a few short hours the Christmas dinner will be cooked.
Hail to Christmas ! happy season ! There is some substantial reason
To be gleeful at thy advent the beginning of the end.
As thou comest wreathed with holly , we can certainly be Jolly ,
Welcome thee with feast and wassail , and in general unbend ,
For we know that we have spent for thee the last cent we can spend !
Now the door bell will cease ringing to
the people who were bringing
An endless string of packages from
morn to dewy eve ;
We no longer will be running to con
ceal those things with cunning ,
And we'll lose our wonted air of
having something up our sleeve.
There will be a deuced litter , when
the gewgaws gleam and glitter ,
Of waste paper , string and cotton , from the kitchen to the hall ;
But , with consciences elastic , we will grow enthusiastic
And "wonder how they guessed , " as on the donors' necks we fall.
Looking blissful over dewdads that we didn't want at all.
Ah , this blessed thing of giving ! It is half the Joy of living
To watch the looks of gratitude and pleasure and surprise
That , at least to outward seeming , are upon loved faces beaming
As the loved one opens his parcel and digs out his gaudy ties.
And the gentle wife and mother her emotion tries to smother >
When conducted by her husband , to some secret corner , where ,
As a proof of fond affection , he has hid from her detection ,
His gift to her , a cozy , costly , well-upholstered chair
( Of whose comforts , in the future , you may bet he'll get his share ) .
Now this Christmas spirit moves us to
sense that it behoves us
To keep Poverty's bare platter and
fill bestitution's cup.
Bring turk and pie and gladness to
the homes of empty sadness !
To help out sweet Christmas char
ity who would not loosen up ?
But it's highly aggravating not to say exasperating ,
When we've given most nobly and without thought of stint ,
'To find out , as we expected , that the modest are neglected
And our princely benefaction hasn't found its way to print
( Certainly we didn't ask it , but a man might take a hint ) .
But away with sad reflection ! This is no time for dejection.
Merry Christmas , happy Christmas , as we Bald , has come at last !
All the many tribulations , all the trials and vexations
That have crowded thick upon us for the last six weeks , are past ,
Not a protest shall be uttered , though the house with toys is cluttered
And the kids are all parading to the sound of horn and drum ,
Lusty lung and larynx voicing the extent of their rejoicing.
We will have to stand the racket now that Christmas day ia come.
( Later tone our nervous system at some sanitarium ) .
Thank the Giver if we're able to sit
round a vre spread table ,
Where the plump white-bosomed
turkey sheds its savor through
the room ,
And pudding comes on smoking , and
there's no end to the Joking ,
And no heart that harbors malice
and no mind o'ercast with gloom ,
Let us be profoundly grateful that we have at least a plateful ,
Grateful for the pepsin tablets that correct our Christmas cheer ;
Hold it as among our mercies if there's coin left in our purses ,
Be thankful for those dear to us and those who hold us dear.
( And most supremely thankful Christmas comes but once a year ) .
( Copyright , 1911. Western Newspaper Dn'.on )
Yuletide Philosophy
Mr J
However , the man who grumbles
'cause he can't keep Christinas and all
his money , too , ought to at least ko p
mum.
mum.With many people Christmas pres
ents will only come through the im
agination , wUch win enable them to
exhibit great presents of mind.
The test Christmas gift Isn't bought
at any counter , though you may have
encounters getting it It's delivered ,
but not by messenger. You don't care
which is the giver and which the re
ceiver. You don't go bankrupt giving
it though you may fall into the hands
( ead arms ) of the receiver.
None is BO blind as those who can't
see a pretty girl under the mistletoe
JUDGED BY THEIR CLOTHES
Sjnart Cigar Store Clerk Ready With
Apology That by No Means
Mended Situation.
Herman Fellner tells this story on
himself , according to the New York
correspondent of the Cincinnati Times
Star. He was in Washington on busi
ness recently and met three or four
friends on the street. After a mo
ment's chat he beckoned them to
come with him. "I'm off the stuff , "
said he , "but I want to buy you each
a cigar. "
They happened to be in front of a
combination cigar and news stand at
the moment. Led by Mr. Fellner they
all trooped in. The clerk hurried to
the cigar case to wait upon them. Be
fore Mr. Fellner could Indicate his
wishes the clerk had slapped a box
on the glass case. "Here y' are , " said
he. "Best dime smoker in town. "
Mr. Fellner Is sort of fussy about
his smokes. He looked at the cigar
then shoved the box away. "Have
you no other price ? " he asked.
The clerk shoved the box in the
case. "Sure thing , " said he. "My mis
take and your treat. "
Having pulled off this time-worn
witticism , he addressed Mr. Fellner
confidentially. "Your clothes sort of
fooled me , " said he. "You fellers are
a pretty well-dressed lot , you know. '
Then he put another box on the count
er. "Here , " said he , "is the best
nickel smoker in the village. "
ECZEMA DISFIGURED BABY
"Our little boy Gilbert was troubled
with eczema when but a few weeks
old. His little face was covered with
sores even to back of his ears. The
poor little fellow suffered very much.
The sores began as pimples , his little
face was disfigured very much. We
hardly knew what he looked like. The
face looked like raw meat. We tied
little bags of cloth over his hands to
prevent him from scratching. He was
very restless at night , his little face
itched.
"We consulted two doctors at Chicago
cage , where we resided at that time.
After trying all the medicine of the
two doctors without any result , we
read of the Cuticura Remedies , and
at once bought Cuticura Soap and
Ointment. Following the directions
carefully and promptly we saw the
result , and after four weeks , the dear
child's face was as fine and clean as
any little baby's face. Every one who
saw Gilbert after using the Cuticura
Remedies was surprised. He has a
head of hair which is a pride for any
boy of his age , three years. We can
only recommend the Cuticura Reme
dies to everybody. " ( Signed ) Mrs. H.
Albrecht , Box 883 , West Point , Neb. ,
Oct. 26 , 1910. Although Cuticura Soap
and Ointment are sold by druggists
and dealers everywhere , a sample of
each , with 32-page book , will be mailed
free on application to "Cuticura , "
Dept. 14 L , Boston.
Meant to Be Real Bad.
Two little girls residing in East
Eighty-sixth street , Virginia dough
and Claire Feldman , who had long
envied their boy playmates for their
ability to enjoy such badness as Is
inherent in boys , resolved to be bad
themselves. To this -end they shut
themselves up in Virginia's room and
proceeded to be naughty. In fact ,
they practiced swearing Just to see
what would happen.
When they were quite sure that
none would overhear them each pro
duced a slip of paper containing the
swear word and fired away.
"Bulldog ! " said Virginia.
"Cigars ! " was Claire's reply.
But the ceiling didn't drop , and
there was no earthquake to swallow
them up , and the two resumed their
play , a trifle disappointed at the tame
termination of their badness. Cleve
land Leader.
What ! Rub a Kiss Off ?
At the tender age of three mascu
line conceit had gripped that small
boy with a relentless clutch. He had
kissed a little girl of three , and she
was rubbing her lips vigorously.
"You mustn't do that again , " said
the boy's mother. "She doesn't like
it. Just see how hard she is trying
to rub your kiss off. "
"Oh , no , she ain't , " said the boy.
"She's rubbing It in. "
Important to Mothare
Examine carefully every botii * of
CASTORIA , a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children , and 8M that it
Bears the
Signature of
In Use For Over 30 " ? 4ars ,
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
Sainted Leg.
Little Girl Your papa has only got
one leg , hasn't he ?
Veteran's Little Girl Yes.
Little Girl Where's his other one ?
Veteran's Little Girl Hush , dear.
If s in Heaven. Home Herald.
A woman who beats the street car
company out of a nickel and puts it
in the church plate may believe in
the eternal fitness of things.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate jstomach , liver and bowels.
Sugar-coated , tiny granules , easy to take.
Do not gripe.
'
v
As a man grows older he sees some
thing in himself every day that is cal
culated to make film a little less con
ceited.
Jtrs. Winslow's Soothing : Syrup for Children
teet&lng , softens the gums , reduces Inflamma
tion , allays pain , cures -wind colic , 25c a bottle.
' There are few shade trees in the
average man's field of'labor.
COSTS LESS THAN 55
CENTS A BUSHEL TO
RAISE WHEAT IN
CANADA.
A FREQUENT QUESTION AN
SWERED.
Western Canada probably suffered
less from weather conditions during
the year of 1911 than did almost any
other portion of the country. Seeding
was most successful and the growing
conditions up to July were never bet
ter. Crops of all kinds showed won
derful growth at that time and were
universally good , but there was not
the usually excellent ripening weather
In August and the effects of this were
felt. Many fields that late in July
promised 40 and 50 bushels yield of
wheat were reduced to 25 and 30 bush
els , while some of course gave the
full expectancy and others somewhat
less. The quality was also lowered.
In face of these conditions , it is found
that during the months of September
and October , the total amount of con
tract wheat marketed and inspected
WHB about 20 million bushels , which
realized a total of 18y2 million dollars ,
the average price for this wheat be
ing 97 % cents ; that below contract
for the two months was a little over
15 million bushels , which at an aver
age price of 89 cents per bushel
realized a little over eleven million
dollars , or a grand total for all wheat
of 35 million bushels , which realized.
a total of a little over thirty-one mil
lion dollars.
On the first of November , there
was in the hands of tlie farmers of
Manitoba , Saskatchewan and Alberta
for sale and seed about 130 million
bushels of wheat , from which fact
some idea may be had of the value
of the wheat crop of 1911.
A careful canvass made by the "Win-
jjipeg Free Press made of a number
of men farming in a large way indi
cates that even with the extreme ex
pense of harvesting the crop , which
lias been caused by the bad weather
and difficulty in threshing , wheat has
been produced and put on the market
for less than 55 cts. a bushel. The
average freight rate is not over 13
cts. per bushel. This would make the
'cost of production and freight 68 cts.
and would leave the farmer an actual
margin on his low-grade wheat of
*
17 cts. and for his high-grade wheat
of 19 } cts. ; and though this is not
as large a profit as the farmer has
every right to expect , it is a profit
not to be despised , and which should
leave a very fair amount of money to
his credit when all the expenses of
the year have been paid , unless the
value of low-grade wheat sinks very
much , below its present level.
He Knew Her Well.
"Now , old man , make yourself com
fortable , and let's talk over the good
old times. We haven't seen each oth
er since we were boys together. I
told you I was married , didn't I ? By
the way , did you ever live in Paines-
ville ? "
"Yes , I lived there three years. "
"Ever meet Miss Katlsh ? "
"Ha ! ha ! Why , I was engaged to
her ! But that's nothing all the fel
lows in my crowd were engaged to
her at one time or another. I see
you've lived in Painesville. Why did
you ask about her , in particular ?
Come confess ? "
"Why , I er I married her. "
Wonder What Whistler Said.
Robert Henri , the New York paint
er , was talking about those million
aires who buy merely to show off ,
doubtful "old masters" at fabulous
prices.
"Their knowledge of art , " Mr.
Henri said , "is about equal to that of
the sausage manufacturer who said
to Whistler :
" 'What would you charge to do me
in oil ? '
" 'Ten thousand , ' answered Whist
ler , promptly.
" 'But suppose I furnish the oil ? '
said the millionaire. " Exchange.
Modern Methods.
Moliere had written many plays to
ridicule doctors and medicine. Louis
XIV. heard that the author had , how
ever , a doctor at his service since he
became famous and well to do , so the
king one day called upon Moliere and
said to him :
"I have heard , Moliere , that you
have a physician. What Is he doing
to you ? "
"Sire , " answered the author of the
Malade Imaginalre. "we chat together ,
he writes prescriptions for me , I don't
take them , and I am cured ! " Life.-
In Deep Water.
Jack's Uncle ( coming up on piazza )
What do you suppose ? Jack has
Just rescued that young widow , Mrs.
Wiles , from the surf !
His Aunt There ! I expected some
thing of the sort. Now well have to
rescue Jack. Boston Transcript.
A Killer.
Ella How that fellow murders the
English language.
Stella -Yes ; isn't it perfectly kill
ing ?
Tightness across the chest means a cold
on the lungs. That7s the danger signal.
Cure that cold with Hamlins Wizard Oil
before it runs into Consumption or Pneu
monia.
The easiest thing we do Is to con
vince ourselves that we are over
worked but the family Is skeptical !
esiiHi&
. m. * '
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
in'tfie Circle ,
on evera Pacftafe of the Gonuina
DO NOT LET ANY DEALER
DECEIVE YOU ,
SYRUP OF FIGS AND DJXIR OF SENNA HAS GIVEN
CUNtAINa SIX
UWVERSALSATISFACTION FOR MORE THAN THIRTY YEARS CENT. OF ALCOHOL
PAST , AND ITS WONDERFUL SUCCESS HAS LED UN
SCRUPULOUS MANUFACTURERS OF IMITATIONS TO OFFER
INFERIOR PREPARATIONS UNDER SIMILAR NAMES AND
COSTING THE DEALER LESS ; THEREFORE , WHEN BUYING ,
PRINTED STRAIGHT ACROSS.NEAR THE BOTTOM. AND IN
THE CIRCLENEAR THE TOP OF EVERY PACKACE.OFTHE
CENU1NE. REGULAR PRICE GOe PER BOTTLE : ONE SIZE MINIATURE PICTURE
OF PACKAGE.
ONLY. FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING DRUGGISTS.
SYRUP OF FIGS AND ELIXIR OP SENNA IS THE MOST PLEASANT. WHOLE.
SOME AND EFFECTIVE REMEDY FOR STOMACH TROUBLES , HEADACHES
AND BILIOUSNESS DUE TO CONSTIPATION. AND TO GET ITS BENEFICIAL
EFFECTS IT IS NECESSARY TO BUY THE ORIGINAL AND ONLY GENUINE ,
WHICH IS MANUFACTURED BY THE
PERFECTION
Always ready for use. Safest and most reliable.
The Perfection Smokeless Oil Heater is just
like a portable fireplace.
It giveaqtrick , glowing heat wherever , whenever , you want it
A necessity in fall and spring , when it is not cold enough for
the furnace. Invaluable aa an auxiliary heater in midwinter.
Drums of blua enamel or plain steel , with nickel trimmings.
A lc your dealer to show you a Perfection Smokeless Oil Heater ,
or write to any bgency of
Standard Oil Company
( Incorporated )
WOULD HAVE TO WAIT.
Lady How much for children's pic
tures ?
Photographer Three dollars a
dozen.
Lady Why er I've only got
eight.
Kindly Repartee.
"I refused him because I want a
husband who has known sorrow and
acquired wisdom. "
"But , my dear , If you had accepted
him he would soon have met your re
quirements. "
Exact Description.
"My brother has Just got a snap of
a job. "
"What is it ? "
"Setting traps. "
this paper
a/ptfy ° < S desiring to
IL &
buyanything
advertised in its columns should
insist upon having what they ask for ,
refusing all substitutes or imitations.
LIVE STOCK AND
MISCELLANEOUS
llngreatYariety forsaleattbeloirest pr ses by
' 1TESTEUS XEWSPAPKR CMOS , 521\T.Ad n St. . Cfaltuo
PATENTS Ington.D.C. Books frw. HIgI >
eat references. Best result * .
" 5SSSS2J Thompson's Eye Wafer
W. N. U. , SIOUX CITY , NO. 51-1911.
Sioux City Directory
in a
without a surgical oper
ation. No pay until cured. Write to
Dr.Z.E.Matheny,601F.L.&Tr.Bide.SiouxCity.Ia.
N
FLORISTS
SIOUX CITY IOWA
Fresh Cut Flowers & Flora ! Emblems
OF ALL DESCRIPTION ON SHORT
NOTICE. Order by Mail , Telephone or
Telegraph. OUR PRICES ARE RIGHT.
TYPEWRITERS
Swansea's Factory Rebuilts
2 year-Iron-clad guarantee. Remington S35
L. C. Smith $45 , Underwood 15 , Smith Preinle *
35. A large stock to select from. Shipped
anywhere on approval. B. F. SWANSOJf
COMPANY. Department D , Sioux City , Iowa.
Hoas&work Drudgery
Houttwork is drudgery for the weak woman. She brush-
M , dust * and scrubs , or is on her feet all day attending to
the B3 BT details of the household , her back aching , her
temple * throbbing , nerves quivering under the stress o
pain , possibly dizzy feelings. Sometimes rest in bed is
not refreshing , because the poor tired nerves do not per *
mit of refreshing sleep. The real need of weak , nervous
women is satisfied by Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
It Makes Weak Women Strong
and Sick Women Well.
Thla "Prescription" removes the caus9
of women * m weaknesses , heats Intlam *
tnation and nlceratlon , and cures tboao
jBmkn99 o peculiar to women. It
tranqulUzea the nerves , encourages the
and Inducem reatiul sleep.
Dr. Pierce is perfectly willing to let every one know what
bit " Favorite Prescription" contains , a complete list of
ingredients om the bottle-wrapper. Do not let any unscrup
ulous druggist persuade you that his substitute of unknown.
composition is "just as good' ' in order that he may make
bigger profit. Just smile and shake your head !
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cures liver ills.
Lamps and
Lanterns
Scientifically constructed to give
most light for the oil they burn.
"
Easy to light , clean" and rewick.
In numerous finishes and styles , each the
best of _ its kind.
Ask your dealer to show you bis line of Rayo Lamps and
Lanterns , or write for illustrated booklets direct
to any agency of the
Standard Oil Company
( Incorporated )
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
& lprinoregc < )6shr ! terandfastercoloi3Aananyotherdye. One lOc package colors all fibers. They dye in cold waterbettertHki any othc-dre. Yoacan
dyeany gannent without npping apart. Write /or free booklet Hqfwtojjye , Chachand Mi igtors. MQNittE DRUC OlWANr : rSinr IS