Everyday Swindlers. "There it goes again , " said the trol ley conductor as hi' rang the boll to jlet off a passonger who had only rid den for n square. "You'd be astonished , " continued 'the ' knight of the bell strap , "to know iliow many ] eojle try to beat the trol- ! ley for a free ride when they want to make a call a square or two away from home. "They hop on the car. wait till It has started and then want to know if flie car doesn't go to some place which jthey know it doesn't come within a .mile . of. In this way they get their Iride for nothing and go on their way in the belief that they have fooled the conductor. " Philadelphia Tress. Six Doctors Failed. South Bend , I ml. . Sept. 25. ( Spe cial. ) After suffering from Kidney Disease for three years , after taking treatment from six different doctors "without getting relief , Mr. J. O. Laude- man of this place found not only relief but a speedy and complete cure in Dodd's Kidney Pills. Speaking of hid cur . Mr. Liudeinan : says : "Yes , I suffered from Kidney Trou ble for three years and tried six doc tors to no good. Then 1 took just two boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills and they not only cured my kidneys , but gave 'me ' better health in general. Of course il recommended Dodd's Kidney Pills to others and 1 know a number now who 41 re using them with go : > d results. " Mr. Laudeman's case is not an ex ception. Thousands give similar expe riences. For there never yet was a c-ase of Kidney Trouble from Backache 3o P.right's Disease that Dodd's Kid- * iey Pills could not cure. They are the Sonly remedy that ever cured Bright's & Disease. A New Jersey woman thinks .she is entitled to two pensions because she is tlio widow of one soldier and the jvidow of another. SALT RHEUM ON HANDS. ( Suffered Ajjony and Had to Wear Band- HCCS All the Time Another Cure by Ciiticmra. Another cure by Cuticura is told of by Mrs. Caroline Cable , of Waupaca , Wis. , in the following grateful letter : "My husband suffered agony with salt rheum on his hands , and I had to keep iliem bandaged all the time. We tried everything we could get , but nothing helped him until he used Cuticura. One set of Cuticura Soap , Ointment. find Pills cured him entirely , and his hands have been as smooth as possible over since. I do hope this letter will 3 > e the means of helping some other sufferer. " JtJoth Laughed. IIow a railway porter gave a lloiand for a passenger's Oliver is related in the following tale : "A few weeks ago , " he says , "a gen tleman came up to me on the arrival of tin express , and said he had changed at such-and-such a junction , and he couid not find his luggage in the van. "That's all right , sir , " I said : "the train divides into two halves at the ' ' junction. You've come'on'by the first , baf } ; your luggage will come on by the second. I've known many a case. " "You're wrong , porter. " said the traveler ; "it was not a case , it was a jaortinanteau. " 't An < V' added the porterh went fh way with a grin which made me fair- J jy-raad. In a quarter of an hour or so , - though" he continued , "the gentleman came back , and said to me : 'Porter , how long will that second utrain of yours be ? " "Twelve coaches and an engine , ' I replied. "We both laughed that time. " \ Discretion : i Failure. ' "I was at the husking bee one day. Great fun. " ' "Find a red car ? " "Yes. " "Kiss the prettiest girl ? " ; 'Nope. Didn't dare. All the pret ty qirls were engaged to husky farm- , , ers. " "What did you do ? " "Kissed the homeliest girl. " "Did that give satisfaction ? " "Not a bit of it Each of the husky .farmers felt that 1 had personally .snubbed his best girl. " Cleveland Plain Dealer. GET POWER. The Supply Comes from Food. If we get power from food , why not Gtriye to get all the power we can. /That / is only possible by use of skil fully selected food that exactly fits the requirements of the body. Poor fuel makes a poor fire and a poor fire is not a good steam producer. | "From not knowing how to select the right food to fit my needs , 1 suf- ] fered grievously for a long time from stomach troubles , " writes a lady from A little town in Missouri. "It seemed as if I would never be nble to find out the sort of food that was best for me. Hardly anything that I could eat would stay on my stomach. Every attempt gave me heart-burn and 3311ed my stomach with gas. I got thinner and thinner until I literally Became a living skeleton and in time was compelled to Keep to my bed. "A few months ago I was persuaded to try Grape-Nuts food , and it had * 5urh good effect from the very begin ning that I have kept up its use ever frince. I was surprised at the case with which I digested it. It proved to be jtis-t what 1 needed. All my unpleasant symptoms , the heart-burn , the inflated feeling which gave me so much pain disappeared. My v eight gradually In creased from OS to 110 pounds , my fig ure rounded out. my strength came back , and I nm now nble to do my ( housework and enjoy it. The ( Jrape- TCuts food did it. " Name given by Tosturo Co. , Battle Creek. Mich. A ten days' trial will show anyone .some facts about fooO. "There's a r en sou , " OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS Unde Sam's Digestive Powers. BOUT one million steerage passengers arrived in the United States , looking for homes or work , during the fiscal year that ended June 30. This wipes out all past records. The largest number arriving in any previous year was 857- 040 , during the twelve months ending June , 3003. Now that immigration has reached the 1,000,000 mark , it is small wonder that the authorities are redoubling their vigilance. The time has come to censorize the increasing stream of immigration under rules that will notvorlc ! -with undue harshness and yet will fully protect the na tion. These steerage immigrants have more brawntthan money , but poverty is not alone a good cause for rejection. A large proportion of present sturdy American citizens be gan at tiie very foot of the industrial ladder. The portentous feature of the case is that the immense ! volume of Immigration comes largely from Southern and Eastern Europe , instead of from the sturdier races pf the ' north and west. The latter are still coming , but their number is dwarfed by an avalanche of less desirable immi- ! grants , with almost startling averages of illiteracy and poverty. The present volume of immigration is equal in 1 one yoar to the total population of a good many preten tious States of the American Union. The steerage outjput , in a single year , is greater than the population of &ny American city except New York , Chicago and Philadeliirga. t Uncle Sam's digestive apparatus is about to be sev oly 'taxed. ' Steamship companies that force Iminigratiouj ib- ! normally , for the sake of gain in trallic , are probably c\A \ * t- ing severe reprisals at this government's hands. Ka\as City World. hi Waste and Graft in Life insurance. IFE insurance companies , whether inanager.by ] | stock companies or not , are essentially inuiual enterprises. The policy-holders pay in all the [ money , and they should take it all out again. I plus interest and less the legitimate expenses I of management. In no other sense should there be either profit or loss in the business. Anything that does not make for the benefit of the policy-holder is by that very fact condemned. It Is essen tially wasteful. Mere bigness is of no advantage to the policy-holders , beyond the point necessary to protect the company against abnormal variations from the average death rate. Heavy expenditures merely for the sake of Increasing business are , therefore , wasteful. We read of the extravagant commissions to hustling agents , of the scandalous and illegal "rebate" system , of the rage for de ferred dividend policies at high premiums , whereby a big surplus can be accumulated. All wasteful. The atmos phere of bigness encourages a disproportionately large number of very big salaries and breeds temptations to the grafting official and director. It is , of course , not the big ness Itself that is wasteful , but the rage to get big at 'whatever cost. Policy-holders' investigations , If thorough , may drive out-grafters , but they will not be nearly so effective against wasteful systems of managing the business. For both pur poses regulation and inspection by the Federal Government is highly important. The possible difficulties in the way should not deter Congress from a serious effort to bring about radical changes in present conditions. Chicago Rec ord-Herald. Missionaries and Hie War. REMARKABLE change in the .ittMurt * of Japanese ollicers and soldiers toward Christian missionaries has taken place within a few month * . When the war with Russia began the Japanese Government opposed any effort to propagate our religion by approaching the army in the campaign or on the field. But it did not debar the missionaries from proffering courtesies to the troops on their way to the front , and when they paused for a few hours at cities like Okayama missionaries went in and out among them in a human rather than a profes sional way , evincing their own loyalty to Japan , comfort ing and cheering the soldiers , offering those who would take them , attractive leaflets and copies of the Scripture. Thus a bond of sympathy was created between the natives and foreigners , and to one of the women missionaries of the American Board a soldier sent back a short time after from the front a letter saying : "I am from Sendai , and all my life I have been a bitter opponent of the Christian religion. I have regarded it as FADS OF A SULTAN. The Rnler of Morocco Has a Passion for Bicycles and Motor Cars. One of the weaknesses of the Sul tan of Morocco , writes Cunningham Graham , who has visited Morocco sev eral tirues is his passion for things that are supposed to represent our so- called European progress. lie goes in for motor cars , red hansom cabs , gold- handled bicycles , gold cameras , grand pianos and other things that he doesn't really want , lie has never been to Europe , but foreign visitors stimulate his curiosity in these things and he orders them sometimes on a wholesale scale. I saw about 200 bicycles when I was at the palace at Fez , some of the most expensive and elaborate make , with gold and silver fittings. He is the smartest bicyclist I have ever seen. He could earn a good liv ing In Europe as a trick rider. I have seen him manipulate the machine standing on the pedals all the time. He delights to ride full speed up nar row" Inclined planks. He drives a motor in the most reck less way. I rode with him in one of his cars once , but refused all other in- ritations. It did not feel safe. As an instance of his child-like cu riosity in "the toys of Europe , " Mr. Graham said that he was with the Sul tan once on a tax-gathering expedi tion. A troop of soldiers accompanied , as usual. The party wag overtaken by three camels hearing pianos the Sul tan had ordered. His majesty had one of them unpacked in the rain and sat down before , it with all a child's de light. A fc\r weeks later Mr. Harris saw the same piano at the palace , rusty from the rain , and besprinkled Trlth sand , looking like a discarded toy. Passive resistors are not tolerated in Morocco , Mr. Graham went on , resum ing his account of the tax-gathering expedition. The Sultan has a short way with passive reslsters. If any of only evil , and as a lover of my country felt it iny duty tc do all in my power to hinder its progress. I had the samt feeling when I came to Okayama ; but when I heard you speak so kindly to us soldiers , and say that you and othei Christians were going to pray for us , It quite broke mj heart , and I went into the corner of the waiting room and 'wept. My heart is entirely changed. I no longer seek foi death , and if I am spared to return , I shall come to you a3 soon as possible and ask you to teach me Christianity.- Boston Transcript. Girls Will 'Be Girls. IIC3E fearfnl souls who have become alarmed lest higher education , co-education , women's olleges and other educational agencies should leprive the world entirely of old-fashionable marriageable girls can take heart. Herbert E. Mills , Professor of Economics at Vassar Col lege , v/lx ) ought to know something about the effect of education upon the girls of the country , in a recent speech before the American Institute of Instruction at , Portland , Ore. , gave it as the result of his experience that tiie Vassar girl still possesses a perfectly normal inter est in the other sex. In a word , he says : "She is generally a very healthy and a very lovable girl , who has general interest in school , sports , and social affairs ; in domestic matters and marriage. " This coincides with the observation of others who have noted that , generally speaking , the girls of the twentieth- century promise to be just as much like their mothers and grandmothers were as the varying changes of condi tions and customs will permit. At heart they vdll still be women , the better half of the human race , willing to guide the households and rear the babies , thus insuring the per petuation of the race , domesticity and civilization. Of course , there were lots of old-fashioned people who never lost their faith that the primal feminine instincts were ineradicable , but for the reassurance of the timid ones who have become fearful that the modern feminine thirst for knowledge threatened to deprive the world of normal women it is well to point out that this is not the case. Hereafter they can sleep in peace , calm in the assurance that "girls will be girls" to the end of time. Philadelphia Bulletin. We Talk Too Much. N the United States vre are prone to talk too much. We do not sufficiently appreciate the value and beauty of silence. During the after business hours , at the lunch and dinner table we talk on and on with out ceasing , as though there was nothing worth thinking about. We invented the first talking machine , and no American is considered properly equipped unless he can talk at all times and upon all subjects. Information must be imparted and ideas exchanged ; it is essential to mental companionship and develops our faculties of expression. But there is no necessity for the endless and eternal talk Inwhich so many of us indulge. There is a great force and value in silence. It enables us to think. It forms and expresses character. The great men of the world were relatively silent men ; they talked only when they had something to say , and the greatest of tnem said but very little. We should study the beauty of silence and develop our thinking power rather than our talking power. Chi cago Journal. Short Names end Fnme. LTIIOUGII n great majority of the men in this country have three names , an'unusual propor tion of those who attain eminence in public life have only two. Take the re.-ont Cabinet changes as an Illus tration : Paul Morton resigned , John Hay died and Elihu Root Is to return to the Cabinet. No middle name in any of these cases. Of twenty-five men who have held the office of ProMdpnt , only seven have had more than two name5 ? . Of the twenry-six Vice Presidents thirteen have had two names and thirteen have had three. The United States Supreme Court iias had eight Chief Jus tices , four with two names , four with three. Of thirty- eight Secretaries of State , including Mr. Root , twenty-oae have had but two names. As every American-born boy has n chance to become President parents would do well to give names easily said and easilv remembered. New York World. his subjects won't pay , or are even suspected of withholding a portion of the tax , their heads are promptly cut off , or they are shot. Yet he Is not a cruel man. lie keeps strictly to bis religion as a Mohamme dan. He does not smoke , nor docs he gamble. He regards all cards as be longing onljto Christian nations , and not to be touched by him. I doubt whether he has ever seen a pack of cards. He does not allow others to smoke in his presence. During my visit the Sultan used to 60LTAN OF MOROCCO. rise regularly at daybreak. He would go early to the mosque , then consult with his ministers , and alter a meal take a short sleep before receiving for eign visitors and private friends. He sometimes tramps in the afternoon , but always retires early. He is amiable , and very kind and thoughtful , but al together too weak a man for Sultan at the present crisis , though full of good Intentions. When it begins to rain In this coun try , it seems as hard to quit as the to bacco habit RURAL FREE DELIVERY. Is It Doinj ; the Greatest Good to the Greatest Number ? The figures for the fiscal year Indi cate that the Fostofiice Department will shov - a deficit to the extraordinary amount of $13,000,000. This shortage has not before been equaled. It is largely attributable to the expenditure made for rural free delivery. This branch of the service obviously brings very little revenue. It Is maintained for the public convenience , and the benefits it affords , especially to the farming class. The institution un questionably is beneficent , civilizing , in the line of modern progress. Still , there is a limit to the money the country can afford to expend for thiswork , and now that it has become so costly as to be a burden to the department , there are questions which might wise ly be inquired into whether other branches of the postal service are not suffering because of the absorption of so much of the funds by this one , and whether the expenditure is apportion ed In a man nor to do the greatest amount of good for the greatest num ber of tho people , or , as has been se riously charged , to further political In terests and strengthen party position by the enlistment of a host of mission aries in the uniform of rural carriers. The routes are alleged to he multitudi nous in sections represented by Con gressmen of powerful influence at Washington , and again often very few in sections where rural free delivery is as fully desirable. There is reason for suspecting that In many cases free de livery routes have been established quite for tho sake of making places for applicants for the positions as car riers , rather than because of a demand for the service by the people of the neighborhood. Buffalo Courier. Be polite ; and for goodness' take , ' tone down that voice - . - . . , . , 4 ifH timorous ; ; Suitor Does your doll talk when you squeeze it ? Little Sister Yes , but It doesn't say "Oh , George , don't ! " Brooklyn Life. "I understand Colonel Jones is a fa " " ' thar stranger ! talist. "You're right , He never fails to git his man' " Net * Orleans Times-Democrat. " before you "What was your name were married ? " asked the Chicago cen sus taker. "Which time ? " queried the lady. Detroit Free Press. "So the jury gave Dolly fifty dollars a week alimony ? " "Yes. She says it to be dependent on feels so good not ' " Life. a man for one's income. "Doctors don't bleed their patients " "Don't eh ? I nowadays , do they ? , wish you could see the bill mine has sent me ! " Browning's Magazine. He I was an intimate friend of your late husband. Can't you give me something to remember him by ? She ( shyly ) How would I do ? Punch. "What was it that prevented the duel this morning ? Did one of the principles fail to show up ? " "No , but they forgot the cinematograph. " Gil Bias. to say that I Bluster Do you mean am a liar ? Blister I hope that I could not do so ungentlemanly a thing ; but I see you catch my idea. Illus trated Bits. She And do you think it's possible for a man to love two girls at the same time ? He Oh , yes ; provided it isn't also at the same place. Phila delphia Ledger. Miss Sinclair Wha didn't he mahry dat Coopah gal ? Mr. Frothinhas Oh , she done flunk at do latest minute wouldn't lend him a dollar fob f git da license wif. Ex. Hicks Miss Lowd was in your box at the horse show the other day , I heard. Wicks Yes , and everybody else within fifty feet of the box heard , too. Philadelphia Ledger. Mamma ( at breakfast table ) You should always use your napkin , Geor- gie. Georgie I am using it , mamma. I've got the dog tied to the leg of the table with it. Golden Days. Tommy Pop , what Is the difference between charity and philanthropy ? Tommy's Pop Merely , my son , that philanthropy can afford to hire a press- agent. Philadelphia Record. Johnny Jinks Gee ! How'd yon hurt your hand ? Bobby Wabbles I had a giant-cracker , and I don't know whether I held on to it too long or didn't let go quick enough. Puck. Miss Slimmun Harold called me a peach a little while ago. Miss Tartun The insulting puppy ! I never would speak to him again. Of course he Tneant a dried peach. Chicago Trib- tme. "What authority have you for tho statement that Shakspeare is immor- I tal ? " "The fact that he still survives | after having been murdered by bum j actors for three hundred years. " j Cleveland Leader. "That girl gets engaged to every fel low that asks her. " "I suppose she ' goes on the theory that she can always return the goods if on examination she j decides that she doesn't want them. " ; Washington Star. j "Dear John , " wrote Mrs. Newlywed from the shore , "I Inclose the hotel bill. " "Dear Jane , I inclose check , " j wrote John , "but please don't buy any J more hotels at this price they are rob bing you. " The Smart Set. "Ah ! pretty lady ! " exclaimed the fortune teller , "you have come to find ytfir future husband ? " "Not much ! " , replied the pretty lady , "I've come to learn where my present husband is when he's absent. " Chicago Tribune. . "Have you any fixed opinions regardI I ing the proposed franchise ? " asked tho Interviewer. "Before answering your question , " responded the municipal of- , ficial , "I should like to know precise- . ly what you mean by the word 'fixed. ' " Washington Star. Ethel When does your breach-of- promise suit come into court , Clara ? Clara ( sobbing ) T-to-morrow. Ethel ( consolingly ) I am sorry to see you so overcome , dear. Clara Oh , it's noth ing , Ethel. I am simply rehearsing for the jury. Pick-Me-Up. "That' s an auction piano your daughter's got , isn't it ? " asked the sar castic woman next door. "No , indeed ! " replied the proud mother , indignantly ; "what made you think that ? " "Oh , probably because it's 'goin , going , go ing' all the time. " Philadelphia Ledger. "Why am I gloomy ? " demanded the undesirable admirer , to whom she had given the cut direct. "Isn't it enough I to make one gloomy to be cut by the ! one he loves best ? ' ' "The idea ! " x- j claimed the heartless girl. "I didn't even know that you shaved yourself. " Philadelphia Press. MissKunning Everywoman should work hard for a husband. Mr. Marry- at That's what I Bay. but iny wife'i so lazy Miss Kunnlng You mis understand me. I mean she should work hard to get a husband , but after she gets him she shouldn't have ta' ' work at all. Cleveland Leader. "Here is another example of the Irony of fate. " "What's that ? " "Why when eggs are cheap and plentiful all the bad actors are takinf a rest" Cleveland Plain Dealer. A man may be great in a few Uiingt and little in manj. - , Both „ How a railway porter gave a Rolandj for a passenger's Oliver Is related in the following tale : , "A few weeks ago , " he says , "a gen-t tleman came up to me on the arrival of , an express , and said he had changed ) at such-and-such a junction , and he could not find his luggage in the van. "That's all right , sir , " I said : "the train divides into two halves at the junction. You've come on by the first' half ; your luggage will come on by the second. I've known many a case. " " ' " said the "You're wrong , porter , traveler ; "it was not a case , it was a , portmanteau. " And , " added the porter , "he went away with a grin which made me fair- > ly mad. In a quarter of an hour or so , * though. " he continued , "the gentleman came back , and said to me : "Porter , how long will that second train of yours be ? " " Twelve coaches and an engine , ' I replied. "We both laughed that time. " DEATH SEEMED NEAR. How a ChicagoVonian Found Help AVlien Hope Was Fast Fading Away. Mrs. E. T. Gould. 914 W. Lake St. , Chicago , III. , says : "Doan's Kidney Pills are all that saved me from death by Bright's Dis ease , that I know. I had eye trouble , backache , catches when lying abed or Avhen bending : > over , was lan- sguid and often dizzy and had sick ' headaches and bearing down pains. The kid ney secretions were too copious and frequent , and very bad in appear ance. It was in 1903 that Doan's Kid ney Pills helped me so quickly and cured me of these troubles and I've been well ever since. " Foster-Milburn Co. , Buffalo. N. Y. For sale by all druggists. Price 50 cents per box. Discretion a. Failure. "I was at the husking bee one day. Great fun. " "Find a red ear ? " "Yes. " "Kiss the prettiest girl ? " "Nope. Didn't dare. All the pret ty girls were engaged to husky farm ers. " "What did you do ? " "Kissed the homeliest girl. " "Did that give satisfaction ? " "Not a bit of it. Each of the husky farmers felt that I had personally snubbed his best girl. " Cleveland Plain Dealer. CHRCN1G ERYSIPELAS Cured by Dr. Williams' Pink Pills , Although Whole Body was Affected. Erysipelas or St. Anthony's fire is a most uncomfortable disease on account of the burning , the pain and the dis figurement ; it is also a very grave dis- , / " order , attended always by the danger of ft involving vital organ's in its spread. The case which follows will be read with great interest by all sufferers as it affected tho whole laody , and refused to yield to the remedies prescribed by tho physician employed. ' Mrs. Ida A. Col- bath , who was the victim of the attack , residing at ! N"o. 19 Winter street , 3STew- buryport , Mass. , says : " In June of 19031 was taken ill with what at first appeared to be a fever. I sent for a physician who pronounced my disease chronic erysipelas and said ifc would be a long time before I pot well. "Inflammation began on my face and spread all over my body. My"eyes were swollen and seemed bulging out of their sockets. I was iu a terrible plight and suffered the most intense pain through out my body. The doctor said my case was a very severe one. Under his treatment , hovever , the inflamma tion did not diminish and the pains which shot through my body increased in severity. After being two months un der his care , without any improvement , I dismissed him. " Shortly after this , on the advice of a friend , I began to take Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People , two at a dose three times a day. After the second box had been used I was surprised to notice ? that the inflammation was going down , and that the pains which nsed to cause me so ninch agony had disappeared. Af ter usiig six boxes of the pills I was up1 and aronnd the house attending to my household duties , as well as ever. " Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are sold by all dealers in medicine or may be ob tained direct from the Dr. Medicine Co. , Scheuectady , 2S" Are Visitins * JUiHta Too Mrs. Do Fashion ( average society lady making her round of calls owing to av erage society friends ) Is Mrs. Wiggins- Van Mortlande at home ? Servant No. madam , she's Mrs. DC Fnvhion Please hand her my card when she return4 * . Servant Shewon't return , madam. She was buried a month ago. Mr * . "Wln low' Boonrxe STBCT for 4 * ibiBK ; lofteai tb rams , rdac * iaflkznaation. UJB piia , cares wind oolic. 23 Mats a bottla. Obeyed the Doctors. Housekeeper You don't look as if you hadwashed yourself for a month. Tramp Please , rnnm. th' doctors saja tlf proper lime to bathe is two hours , nftcr a meal , and 1 haven't had any thing you could call a meal in six weeks. FOR WOMEN troubled with ills peculiar to _ _ their sex , used as a douche it marrefouslj inc- cewful. Thoroughly cleanses , kills disease germs , , etops dischargee , heals inflammation and local soreness. Taxtine it In powder form to be dissolved in pure water , and is fir more cleansing , healing , cennicidal and economical than liquid antiseptics for all TOILET AND WOMEN'S SPECIAL USES For sale at druggists , 50 cents a box. Trial B x mod Book of Instruction * Free. TMK M. PAXTCN COMPANY TON , MAS * . . it