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About Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930 | View Entire Issue (July 6, 1905)
Only a Bluff. / "The chafing dish bluff Is a peculiar Oiing , " remarked a rounder at an after Cheater supper in one of the cafes a lghl or so ago , as the waiter placed Che crab meat on a side table and ifclew out the alcohol lamp. "That was lighted just before the chaf- dish wns brought into the dining- jroorn. The crab meat was cooked and jWailing in a big steam heated pan out fifo. the kitchen when he took the or- ier. ' "Tho lighted lamp is a little bit of Allusion that goes with the rest of the Istage setting , and we stand for it as jwe stand for a lot of other Chadwick- ian efforts. " Proved Beyond a Doubt. Middlesex , N. Y. , July 3. ( Special. ) That Rheumatism can be cured has twcii proved beyond a doubt by Mrs. Betsey A. Clawson , well known here. SThnt Mrs. Clawson had Rheumatism .nd had it bad , all her acquaintances jkno\v. They also know she is now toured. Dodd's Kidney Pills did it. ? Jr * . Clawson tells the story of her euro .as follows : "I was an invalid for most five years < caused by Inflammatory Rheumatism , Helpless two-thirds of the time. The first year I could not do as much as a baby could do ; then I rallied a little bit nd then a relapse. Then a year ago fche gout set in my hands and feet. I suffered untold agony and in August , & 90 , ' ) , whj'ii my husband died , I could not ride to the grave. "I only took two boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills and In two weeks I could 'vrait on myself and saw my own wood. 31 dug my own potatoes and gathered say own garden last fall. Dodd's Kid ney Pills cured me. " Rheumatism is caused by uric acid In the blood. Dodd's Kidney Pills put the Kidneys in shape to take all the uric acid out of the blood. Lucky , Indeed. "This is what I get for marrying a oet , " pouled the tall brunette. "We arc too poor to hire a girl , so I have to rook the beefsteak and onions. " "My clear girl , " said the matron , . whose husband is an editor , "you should be very proud. " "Proud of what ? " "That you should have found a poet xvho can really afford beefsteak and onions. " Have used Piso's Cure for Consump tion nearly tfro years , and find nothing o compare with it. Mrs. Morgan , Berke ley , Cal.f Sept. 2 , 1901. f TRAGEDY IN THREE ACTS. Fate of a Joke Buffeted About on Two Continents. ACT I. ( at a railway station ) . Lord AlgjAw bah Jo've ! See that Intoxicated person trying to crawl ovah that valise ! Jack Josher He's not drunk , poor bellow ! Rob Keller Oh ! come , now not Jack Jobher No ; can't you see that &e's just getting over the grip ? Rob Roller Ha , ha , ha ! Good ! .Lord AJgy Beg pawdon ? ( Exeunt , explaining it ) ACT II. ( two weeks later ) . "Lord Algy ( alone ) Bah Jove , hyuh'a Svhere we saw that drunken chap who "wasn't drunk at all , it seems and Josher made some inexplicable remark about him - ( The Light Breaks. ) N - Oh ! Very good , bah George ! "ITa , ha , ha ! Capital joke that I must Jof it down in me note book as a typi- cal American witticism. Ha , ha ! It's , gx > od enough for Punch , on me honah ! ACT III. ( a London Club ) . "Lord Agy And tlf chap made a bally good joke , y' know I neahly made moself ill lawfing when I saw the point. A drunken bounder , who. jas it proved , was not drunk at all , y' Tinow , but quite ill , was climbing upon .0. bag. "He's not ilo.xicated , " said Jcsher , who's a deuce of a wit ; "cawn't -you see that the poor chap's just re covering from the influenza ? " Well , 3011 chaps don't catch It , I see I didn't at first , meself. One has to be educated to American humor. But it's s ted good ! _ IN COLONEL'S TOWN Things Happen. From the home of the fainous"Keyh- Keeyartah of Cartersville , " away clown South , comes an enthusiastic let- Jter about Postum. "I was in very delicate hc-alth , suf fering from indigestion and a nervous trouble so severe that I could hardly * leep. The doctor ordered me to dis continue the use of the old kind of cof fee , which was likepoisou to me , pro ducing such extreme disturbance that J. could not control myself. But such was my love for it that I could not got my own consent to give it up for some lime , and continued to suffer , till my father one day brought home a pack age of Postum Food Coffee. "I had the new food drink carefully prepared according to directions , and Save it a fair trial. It proved to have si rich flavor and made a healthy , \vholesonie and delightful drink. To any taste the addition of cream great ly improves it. "My health began to improve as soon as the drug effect of the old coffee -vas removed and the Postum Coffee Hind lime to make its influence felt. 3Iy nervous troubles were speedily re lieved and the sleep which the old cof fee drove from my pillow always cnnie to soothe and strengthen me sifter I had drunk Postum in a very short time I began to slec-p belter than I Iiad for years before. I have now Postum Coffee for several years like it better and find it more /beneficial than when I first began. It is an unspeakable joy to be relieved of -the old distress and sickness. " Name /Jiven by Postum Company , Battle -Creek , Mich. There's a ronson. Read the little book , "The Road to Wellville. " in each pkjr. Opinions of Great Papers on Important Subjects. fiftefttfifllttf4 Why Do Women Go to Murder Trials. 0 man , " says Marion Crawford , "ever under stood any woman for more than five minutes at a time , " and we humbly confess ourselves unable to comprehend why many apparently respectable women haunt the court rooms dur ing sensational murder trials. Are they the "new women" who , since their emancipation from household duties and babies , form an idle class having nothing to do ? It appears so , because It is sure that the mothers of most of these women did not have any time to spare for court rooms. If they did these present women would not be on earth , and that they are Is proof that the mothers were so busy with the chil dren and the housework that they had no time to go "gadding , " as they would put it. Not that these good mothers were not themselves free from the desire to read ( or hear read ) the newspaper ac counts of the celebrated cases of their day , but the social standards of their time would have branded them as wrong if they had frequented shauieiessly these horrible plat-es of purient nastiness. The "new woman" in our sense of the word is not yet known In London , Paris or Berlin , but the more salacious and sanguinary the crime is over there , the more eager the crowd of women who flock to the court rooms. We must , therefore , abandon the "new woman" hy pothesis and conclude that such conduct is due to a fem inine trait that is independent of epoch or of race. But to locate the trait ! Curiosity , motherliness , hero worship , per verted thoughts , or some other quality too vague and elu sive for the gross masculine intelligence to name. We must give it up ; speculation is worse than idle. We are perplexed before the profound mystery. Will not some clever introspective woman be good enough to enlighten us ? 'Boston Traveler. Striking School Children. HE courts of Chicago have found it imperative to deal harshly with the striking school chil " dren. These youngsters , "by the thousands , walked out of the school houses because the buildings were being heated with coal fur nished by a firm that was being boycotted by striking teamsters. No one suspects that these children acted of their own volition , but when they re ceived instructions from their parents , they proved most willing abettors of crime. Other school children who refused to join the ranks were maltreated , property was damaged and in several instances the youngsters defied the police. Many arrests were made and several were arraigned in court. When a boy was asked why he threw coal at a teamster , he replied exult antly : "Because he is a scab. " Parents and pupils lost their spirit of bravado as soon as they discovered that the court would take cognizance of the offenses. It is question able if severe punishment should be meted out to the law breaking children. In nearly every case , it was the fault of the parent and it is the latter who should be made to suffer. But what must the decent law-abiding citizen of Chi cago think of the future for his city ? It is to-day one of the most disorderly communities In the world , but if chil dren of the present generation are being educated to flout the law and show their utter contempt of government , Im agine the conditions that will exist a quarter century hence Toledo Blade. Colossal Land Grabs. I N rending of the land frauds In Oregon , Cali fornia and other Western States we involun tarily ask ourselves , "What is the government going to do about it ? " Principalities have been acquired by these grafters and the men who ( employ them. Is the government going to let the looters retain the spoil ? This , after all , Is the most serious side of the question. The opportunity for looting the public by frauds upon the government in connection with land has been narrowed greatly. Most of the public domain of value has been acquired. But this land , held in tracts of thousands of square miles , is badly needed by the growing population of the country. If it $ WARM BLOODED ENGLISHMEN. It is perhaps because the English aro much out-of-doors that they care little about having their houses proper ly warmed. The author of "An Ameri can at Oxford" says that when he first dined with the dons of his college , the company assembled about a huge coal fire. fire.On On a rough calculation , the coal it consumed if used In an American steam heater , would have roasted out the en tire college. As it was , its only effect seemed to be to draw an icy blast across the ankles from medieval doors and windows. The blast swept the fire bodily up chimney , aud left us shiv ering. One of the dons explained that an open fire has two supreme advantages : it is the most cheerful thing in life , and It insures thorough ventilation. I agreed with him heartily , as I warmed one ankle In my palm , but mentioned that In au American winter heat Is as necessary as cheerfulness and ventila tion. "But If one wears thick woolens , " replied the don , "the cold and drafts are quite endurable. When you get too cold reading , put on your great coat" "Then what do you do when you go out-of-doors ? " "I take off my greatcoat It Is much warmer there , especially If 3011 walk briskly. " Some days later , when I went to dine with uiy tutor , my hostess apologized for the chill of the drawing-room. "It will presently be much warmer , " said she. "I have always noticed that when you have sat in a room a while it gets warm from the heat of your bodies. " She proved to be right. Bat when we went into the dining-room we found It like a barn. She smiled , with repeat ed reassurances. Again she .proved right ; but we had hardly tempered the were a few thousand acres. It might not be missed. But we are told that Henry Miller owns 12,777 square miles of land in Oregon , Nevada and California. This Is a tract approximately twice the size of Maryland. It is as large as the States of Massachusetts , Connecticut , New Hampshire and Delaware ; greater than Switzerland , Denmark or Greece. This tract , capable in time of supporting millions of population , is the private property of one man. It IB not an Isolated case. There are half a dozen of these West erners with princely holdings acquired from the govern ment in devious and questionable ways. Yet , now that title has passed , now that patents have issued , there Is some doubt whether any portion of this vast domain can be reclaimed by the government. It is a mortifying confes sion of Impotence. We could reclaim a lost earring if we could prove that it had been wrongfully acquired , but when it comes to a tract of land as big as a State the law falls us. It is gratifying , however , to know that we are tardily disposed to husband what is left of the public domain , and possibly we may yet find a waj * to give the public at large the benefit of the mighty landed estate of which It has been robbed. Baltimore News. The Flood cf Immigration. RESIDENT ROOSEVELT is undoubtedly right in thinking that the extraordinary tide of Immi gration now sweeping Into this country Is a subject demanding the Immediate attention of Congress. Sinoe last year the increase in Im migration has been enormous and it Is probable that the total number of aliens that will have been admitted to the United States by the end of the cur rent fiscal year will sum up nearly 1,000,000. A large pro portion of these newcomers hail from countries which for merly contributed but a relatively small proportion of our immigration and in which conditions are not of a character to fit people for the enjoyment of five government. Several features of the immigration now In progress . . . * . . * - n * * " vl.- - .fc * J3 - . - demand especial attention. There is reason to believe that much of it Is "assisted. " Reports from various quarters In Europe Indicate that railways , steamship companies and various other agencies are ransacking Europe for steerage passengers. They circulate glowing reports of easy work ing conditions and high wages in America and stimulate the Immigration fever in every way. In certain instances , it is alleged , people who are wholly unfit for admission to this country and who would be rejected by American con suls and other officials in Europe are fitted out with forged papers which are used to deceive the immigration ofiiciala at New York. These facts would alone be sufficient to put the nation on its guard , but there are other things to be considered. Aliens coming to our shores , having no knowledge of the country and only a vague idea as to what their destination is to be , settle down in the large cities , where they at least find colonies of their countrymen. New York Is being over run with these aimless refugees. Apparently the pressing necessity just now is for the application of stricter safe guards to prevent the shipment of undesirable Immigrants and the adoption of a systematic plau for insuring the better distribution of those aliens who are to be admitted. Chicago Daily News. Married Life. | T does not follow that there Is anything moral ly wrong with a man and woman because they are unable to live together happily. The won der is not that so many marriages turn out unhappily. The wonder is that more do not. I For when one takes into consideration the dif ference in temperaments , in education , iu ideals , in religious beliefs and half a hundred other things , it is a miracle that two people living together in one house year after year get along as well as they do. * * * Let men think v\hat they will of celibacy , it is a great deal better for men and women of extremely sensitive nature to live as celibates than to live in an atmosphere of squabble all their days , until at last they show their feeling , as Shakspeare did , by leaving the wife nothing but a "second- best bed , " or by dragging their affairs into the public view by means of divorce-court proceedings. Portland Tele graph. frost when we had to shift again to the drawing-room. That , too , required to be acclimated. YARNS ABOUT THREAD. Sells for I eaa than a Cent a Spool of 100 Ynrda To-day. "What wpuld you think of linen thread at 11 cents a dozen spools ? "That's what I saw on a bargain signboard In Baltimore , " said Francis J. Caesar of Philadelphia at the Reu- nert "It was in one of the leading stores , too. When I read the si/jn I asked a cleric how he knew It wad lin en thread. 'Can't you read ? ' he said. 'Sure , ' I replied , 'and that's why I'm asking. ' I asied him to let nie see some of the thread , and it was branded 'linen finish. ' I turned missionary for a few minutes and Instructed my friend in the difference between linen and linen finish. The real linen thread would have cost $1.05 a dozen. He changed his .sign. "Linen is made from the fiber of fiftx , the very finest product being the French , and Irish , German and Rus sian following in order. In this coun try an attempt has been made to raise flax , but it has not been successful. Fax requires a constantly damp cli mate , and cannot be induced to bunk anywhere else. Some flax is raised here , but not enough to make it of com mercial value. Nothing Is grown and finished. "Do you know that practically noth ing but linen thread is used in shoe- making now ? 'Sfact. Cotton stretches too much. When you stand down heavy in your shoes something's going to spring a leak. Now we are getting out a line of linen tnread for. s'noe- makers , already twisted the kind you see on the shoe machines. In the old days the shoemaker used to twist his own thread. But they used to do lots of things in the old days that are out of It now. Assuredly. " Baltimore News. Old age Is the disease that makes the patent medicine business good. HIS NEW FRIEND. When Jacob Riis was a boy he went to Copenhagen to serve his apprentice ship with a builder. On the third day after he reached the capital he visited an art exhibition in the palace of Char- lottenborg. While he was wondering which staircase led to the gallery a gentleman , seeing that he was In doubt , spoke to him and offered to show him where to go. So they went up the stairs together , carrying on au anima ted conversation. Says Mr. Riis : The gentleman's part of it was con fined mostly to questions , which I was iu no way loath to answer. I told hlrn about my plans , and he listened with a curious little smile , and nodded in a very pleasant , sympathetic way , which I liked to see. I told him so , and that I liked the people of Copenhagen well ; they seeuied _ so kind to a stranger. Then , he put his hand on my arm , and patted it in a friendly manner that was altogether nice. So we arrived to gether at the door where the red lackey stood. The man bowed very deep as we en tered , and I bowed back , and told my friend that there was au example of Copenhagen courtesy ; for I had never seen the man before. At this he laugh ed outright , and then bade me good-by. Before I could shake hands with him he was gone ; and presently my broth er appeared , and I forgot all about my new friend. An hour later we were resting in one of the rooms , anc I was oing over the events of the day and telling about the kind stranger , when in he crime and nodded , smiling , at me. ' There he is ! " I cried , and nodded , too. But Sophus ( Mr. Riis' brother ) got up with a atart and bowed in haste. "Good gracious ! " he said , when the stranger was gone. "You don't mean to say he was your guide ? Why , that was the Izi FAST TfiAIN EE8UMED TWENTIETH CENTURY LIMITED ON 18-HOUR SCHEDULE. Famous New York Ccntral-Inke Shore Train Now Makinj ; Regular Trips Be tween New York and Chicago in 18 Hours Accident Not Due to Speed. The famous New York Central-Lake Shore Twentieth Century Limited train , which was wrecked by running into an open switch at Mentor , Ohio , has been restored to the position of the fastest long-distance train In the world. After an extended conference with his staff , President W. II. New man issued an order which places the "Century" on its former eighteen-hour schedule between Chicago and New York. This action was taken after a most rigid , and searching Investigation Into the facts , which resulted in the unani mous conclusion that speed was in no way a factor contributing to the disas ter at Mentor. For this reason , and this alone , President Newman ordered the restoration of the old schedule. Had there been the slightest doubt In the mind of a single operating offi cial of any of the Ne\v York Central lines upon this point the twin "Cen tury" fliers would still run between Chicago and New York on a twenty- hour schedule. In determining the Issue , safety , and safety alone , was the paramount consideration. In arriving at his decision in the matter President Newman did not rest content with the judgment and opin ions of his operating staff nor upon the evidence of the investigation that was conducted and concluded by W. H. Marshall and staff of the Lake Shore and by the detectives employed by the railroads. Commissioner Morris of the Railroad Commission of the State of Ohio and W. 0. Jackson , chief Inspec tor of railroads and telegraphs , of the "T # * * m - * 7 ; J - + * w * State of Ohio , went to the scene of tho wreck , and upon their official report President Newman in a large measure based his action In restoring the "Cen tury" to Its former running time. Inspector Jackson's report is sweep- Ing and conclusive upon the most im portant points in connection with the wreck. He declared that there was no doubt that the switch was opened maliciously and intentionally , but was unable to determine whether it was locked or open. lie further states : "I do not think that the speed of the train had anything to do with the wreck or with the number of persons killed. The number killed was due to the fact that the dinner was just fin ished , and the men had gone forward to the smoker. Fast trains are no more liable to accident than others , for they make fewer stops , and many accom modation trains run as fast between stations as the Twentieth Century Limited. " Commissioner Morris * statement Is equally strong upon the point of speed not being a contributing factor , and upon these official statements Presi dent Newman feels that he can rely to show to the public , first , that tlys only thing for the management to do after the wreck was to return to the former schedule until the facts were determined , and that the only logical thjng to do now is to revert again to the eighteen-hour schedule. Had , however , the conclusion re garding the cause of the wreck been different , and had the State Commis sion and Inspector decided that speed was a factor , President Newman stood ready not only to continue the "Century" oti a twenty-hour schedule , but also to go over his entire train ser vice list and revise it wherever the speed of trains came into logical con flict with his action in the matter of the "Century. " If Norway can't get a king she may have to take a jack or a ten-spot. Norway believes divorce is a good thing In so far as Sweden la concerned. Tho last blow has fallen , General Miles has deserted the cause of Russia. ' The difference between Henry Jame3 \ and the newspapers is that people read the newspapers. Doubtless the striking express com pany teamsters have the sympathy of Miss Mae Wood. Dr. Patton can hardly avoid becoming personal when he refers to the " $40,000- 000 rascal" class. Mayor Weaver and Togo seem to have i conspired to obscure Tom Lawson and the Chicago strike. Happily it is not possible to make a political issue out of the removal of John Paul Jones' remains. Perhaps it might be better called tha Quittable Insurance Company , from th way the dir ctors are evacuating. A Gteye'and ( Ohio ) pastor proposes to erect ft nine-story church. He expects to be the first sky-pilot to have a sky scraper. While you thought the officials of the big insurance companies were lying awake nights planning a good time for your widow it appears they were doing something else. An army in which some of th officers have to he shot for circulating revolu tionary literature is certainly a great piece of fighting machinery on which to depend In a pinch. With the microbe of war as busy as it [ a at present , a peaceful dissolutiou of the long partnership between Norway and Sweden will be something to remem ber. Rochester Herald. EEADAOHE , DIZZINESS , BEABIHG- PAINS , JL Woman Tolls HOTT Sho lias Become "Well and Stro'njy after Years of Misery Due to Irregular Functions. The fact that one woman is brighfc- eyed , i-osy-cheekcd , strong and cheerful , while another is pale , weak and de pressed , is due more ofteu thau other wise to the regularity in the one case' aud the irregularity in the other of the1 functions that are peculiar to the sex. When these are disturbed everything goes wrong ; pain nud discomfort aro felf all over the body ; the sensations are ofteu terrifying. " For four years. " said Mrs. Davis re cently , "I suffered indescribable misery from sick headache every month , ac companied by fainting spells , shortness of breath and severe pain in my left side. There were also bearing-down pains , at times so acute that I could not stand up , and my head was full of ringing sounds. It seemed as if everything was going to. hit me in the eyes. I was compelled to lie down with closed eyes for hours to get a little relief. When I attempted to arise everything would whirl around and it would grow so dark that I could scarcely see any object. " " Couldn't your doctor help you ? " " Five doctors in all treated me , but I got no lasting benefit. Besides I used a' lot of advertised remedies. The only medicine , however , that had the de sired effect was Dr. Williams' Pink Pillaj and they are truly n , godsend to women , i I did not have much faith in them when ! i I began to take them. I found myself , ' however , so much better after using two' boxes that I began to believe in them. They checked right away the decline into which I was going. My troubles kept lessening and finally disappeared altogether. " I " How long did it take for a cure ? " "After I had used several boxes my health was all right. I had taken on flesh and was strong and hearty. I feel today in spirits more like a afl of six teen than awomau of my years. " Irs. 6. H. Davis' address is Carmel , Maine , R. F. D. , No. 2. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are confidently offered to women for the cure of anaemia , chloro sis , painful and irregular periods , and all forms of weakness. They are sold by every druggist. Sorry for Him. The young man on the elevated was Concealing a lighted cigarette In bis left baud , to the obvious amusement of tha young woman who was accompanying him. Every once In a while he took a surreptitious puff. "Now , Frank , " she protested , "you mustn't. " For answer he snatched her stickpin with his other hand , and held it up tantalizingly before her eyes. "Give that right back , " she exclaim ed. "Put It right in here. " She held out her open shopping bag. The young man became a bit con fused , and dropped something into the. bag. It was not the pin. The girl ( hastily closed the bag without noticing1 the thin curl of smoke issuing from it. ' Several pasengers rode three stations beyond where they Intended to get off- in the hope of further developments , but nothing happened. "I'm sorry for that young man when she finds out , " murmured one man as he departed regretfully. LASTING RELIEF. T. W. Walls , Super intendent of Streets of Lebanon , Ky. , says : "My nightly rest was broken , owing to irregular action of the kidneys. I was suffering intensely from severe , pains in the small of my back and ) through the kidneys and annoyed byi painful passages of abnormal secre tions. No amount of doctoring reliev ed this condition. I took Bonn's Kid ney Pills and experienced quick and lasting relief. Doan's Kidney Pills will prove a blessing to all sufferers fKora' kidney disorders who will give them a fair trial. " Foster-Milburn Co. , Buffalo , N. Y. , proprietors. For sale by all druggists , price 50 cents per box. Yellow Art. Tommy Figjam Paw , whose picture Is that feller there where you're read- in' ? " Paw Figjam Why. that's a half tone of a second cousin of the step brother of an auut by second marriage of the foster sister of the chap who is suspected of being in possession of information as to who was an accom plice of the mysterious unknown who assisted in kidnaping Sloppy Sadie tha Sad-Eyed Shop Girl. " Baltiinora American. You Can Get Allen's Foot-Ease FREE , Write to-day to Alleu S. Olmsted , Lc Ilor , N. Y. , for a FREE sample of Allen's Foot- Ease , a powder to shake into your shoes. It cures tired , sweating , hot. swollen , ach ing feet. It make. ! new or tljrht shoes easy. A certain cure for Corns and Bunions. AU Druggists and Shoe stores sell It. 25c. The Proper "Word. Clara I was tempted to give her a piece of my mind , only I didn't want to make a scene. Minnie You mean , dear , you didn't want to make a production. That's the - * proper word nowadays. Boston Tran script. "Dyper ls Tormented 3Ic for Ycnr * . Pr. Dartd Kennedy's Fa7orito Retnedi cured roe. " Mr * . O. S. ' Dougherty. Mlllville. N. J. Usad orerSO years. $ LM i ! Proof Positive. "It is said , " remarked the fond moth er , "that Solomon never attempted to answer the question of a child. " "No wonder he was considered th wisest of men , " rejoined tlie weary fathtr. I 1
