A LITTLE DANGEROUS
I He ( desinnloRh"What ) a terri-
We thing it would be if some roscal
Bnould marry you for your money.11
J Sue " ( discouraglnply ) "It would
be for him if I found it out. "
| HAD TO GO
; Young Lady "I must have some
taoncy to go off on a journey. "
Father "Eh ? Where ? "
" 1 don't k ow yefc , but I must
go somewhere at once. "
"Good lands ! What's happened ? "
"The dressmaker misunderstood ,
snd instead of a walking cnslume ,
Sbe nude . "
a polng-iway gown.
Di > rtfiivs Cuniiot iio Curort
by local a ] > pllcatlon.s. as tliey cannot reach tht
ALscnsod portion of the car. There Is oniy one
roy to euro Deafness , and that Is byconstltu-
Icnal remedies. Deafness Is caused by an in-
iamod condition of the mucous lining of tlie
iustachlan Tubo. When this tube nets initamed
rou hare a rumbling sound or Imperfect hear
no ; , am ! when It Is entirely closed Deafness U
he result , aid unless the inflammation can be
aken out and this tube restored to its normal
condition , hearing will bo destroyed forever ;
line cases out of ten are c .used by t atarrli.
rhlch Ls nothing but an Intlamed condition of
the mucous Mirfacos.
\-V \ ; We will clve One Hundred Dollars for any
t pse of Deafness ( caused by catarrh ) that cannot
te cured by Halt's Catarrh Cure. Send for cb >
tulars , free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO. , Toledo , O.
Bold by DnjjKlst * . 7 > c.
Hall's Family Pills are the best. 1l l
| Perhaps the most interesting small
b"y In the world is the littls .Prince
Micchi , grandsnu of tiie Japanese
tnikaloand desined to oe a mikado
tome day. lie is four yeais old.
i The coin and notes in circulation
In Japan on January 1 were : Gold ,
28,063,380 yen silver , 59,967.840 yen ;
Cupper , 17,189 , 042 yen , and converti
ble notes , 201,501,564 yen , making
ft total of 307,343770 yen. This was
in increasa ol 9,651,124 yen since
December , 1902.
Free to Twenty- Five Ladies.
Ihe Defiance Starch Co. will
85 ladies a round trip ticket to the
8c. Louis Exposition , lo rive ladies
la each of the following states :
IlHnios , Iowa , Nebraska , Kansas and
Missouri who wiil send iu the largest )
number of trade marks cut from
ft ten cent , 16 ounce package Df De
fiance cold water laundry starch.
This means from jour own home ,
anywhere in the above named states.
These trade marks must be mailed
to and received by the Defiance
Starch Co. , Omaha , Kehr. , before
September 1st , 1904. October and
November will be the best months
to visit the Exposition. Remember
that Detiance is the only starch put
up 16 oz. ( a lull pound ) to the pack
age. You uet one-third more starch
for the same money than of any
Other kind , and Defiance never sticks
to the iron. The tickets to the
Exposition will he sent by registered
mail September oth. Starch for sale
* > y all dealers.
YERY ATTACTIVE
Binks "They sny that thers are
tens of thousands of faith courists
In this country. "
Winks ' -Yes , and there'll be tens
ef thousands more if the doctors
don't come down on their prices. "
CASTOR IA
Tor Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Boogh !
Bears the
"Signature of
Forty years ago and after
of use on the eastern co&st. Tower's
Wcterproof Oiled Coats were introduced
in the West and were called Slickers by
the pioneers and cowboys. This graphic
name has come Into such general use that
it is frequently though wrongfully applied
to many substitutes. You want the genuine.
" ' Look for the Sign of the fish , and
the name Tower on the buttons.
' MADE W BLACK AJOYUtOWAKD
SOLD E > Y REPRESENTATIVE TRADE
TH WORLD OVER. HJ
7i. J. TOWER Ca.B05TOH.MA5SU.S.A.
TOWER CAHAB1AN COLhvtd.TOEONTO. CAH.
In after years the cirl with auburn
tresses becomes a redbaired wife.
BEGGS' BLOOD PURIFIES
CURES catarrh of the stomach.
CUKES WKEhE All USE FAILS.
Syru , > . Taates Good. ue
ja tlm * * * o
L. DOUGLAO
W. .
* 3.ii&$3 SHOES W
W. L. Douglas
shoes have by tueir
excellent style.
easy-fitting , and
superior wearing
Dualities , achieved
the largest sale of
any shoes iu the
world.
They are inst as good
as those that cost you
S4 to § 5 the only
difference is the price.
Sold Everywhere.
Look for name and
price on bottom.
Dontjlns uses Coronn _
Coltftkin , which iseveryrvhere conceded lei
betlio finest Patent I > atlieryet produced !
Fast Co or Eyflets iisfd. Shoes by mall. ilor.extra.
' Write f or Cattlosr. W.L.Dousrlct. Rrwbton. SI "
H. O PI8-I5 * fc < '
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VARIOUS - .
RIOUS HUMORISTS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over Sayings that Arc Cheer
ful to Old or YOIIZIS : Funny Selec
tions that Ton Will Kujoy.
Boarder Why in creation did you
ring the breakfast bell at1 o'clock this
morning ?
Cook The missus heard it thunder
ing and told me to hurry up and serve
I'roakfast before the milk soured.
Now York Weekly.
A Disappointment.
"Our postmistress was awf'ly mixed
this iuorniu' . "
"How was that , Darius ? "
"Why , a feller came in and got a
postal curd that hail just come by the
last mail an' carried it away before
the postmistress had a chance to read
it. " Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Oh , This Sensational Journalism !
\Vajrner.
"I am taking special instruction for
the season of Wagner. "
"Ah ? "
"Yes ; and with only six lessons I
can already sit still and look rapt for
more than two hours continuously. "
Tuck.
Of Course She Would.
"Ifo ridiculous for a girl to say she
wouldn't many a man if he were the
last one on earth. "
"Why ? "
"Because she'd do it then just to
spite all the other girls. " Philadel
phia Public Ledger.
No Incentive.
"And now I notice that a London
doctor says we should eat heartily if
AVC wish to live long. "
"That doctor would change his mind
if he lived at our boarding-house. "
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Gallant Nobleman.
Tess I was passing that small flor
ist's with Lord Brittou yesterday , and
I hinted that I'd like to have some of
the lovely roses that were displayed
in the -widow.
Jess And did he send some to you ?
Tess Yes , they came this morning ,
C. O. D. Philadelphia Press.
Nipped.
"I met a friend of mine , who is in
the Stock Exchange , and he offered to
let me in on a good thing If "
"Sorry , old man , but I haven't a cent
to lend. " Philadelphia Ledger.
Removed the Cnnae.
Miss Ugliface I could really never
be coutented and happy in the room
you've given me.
Hotel Clerk Oh ! I'll fix that all
right ( To bell-boy ) Go up and re
move the mirror from the lady's room.
Willie Wna Minna.
Willie Sappley To-day I thought of
two things at once. -wonder ifve <
have two brains ?
Vera Smarte Well , between you and
no , Mr. Sappley , I think -we have
only oiie.
Disabled.
"What's the matter with your
hand ? " asked deaf mute No. 1. "Been
.n a powder mill explosion ? "
"No , " answered deaf mute No. 2. "A
ricnd has been teaching me to speak
Jussian. "
It "Would Seem So.
"Money talks , you know , " remarked
he optimistic inorallzer.
"Yes , " rejoined the pessimistic de-
icralb.er , "but it never speaks above
Thisper when it converses with a
oor relation. "
Very Serious.
Ernie Jack said when he gave me
.e diamond ring it meant something
iJOUS.
Ida I should say tt was serious. He
a isn't paid , , for it yet
Wonld Be Appropriate.
Mrs. Stubb ( reading ) Estelle Smith
wore a champagne gown ; Helei
Brown wor" a biscuit-colored waist
IdaMr.
Mr. Stubb Hold on ! You must be
reading a menu card.
Cruel.
The struggling artist was somewhat
discouraged.
"Do you think I'll ever do anything
with canvas ? " he anxiously inquired
"Perhaps , " replied the old master.
"Tell me how. "
"Become a sailor or awning fitter/
Trials of n Poet.
"Why did you call that last poert
'The Electric Fan' ? " asked the bosom
friend.
"Because the editor said he wanteo
something breezy , " responded the
struggling bard.
"Ah , then he took It ? "
"No ; it's going around yet"
Twisters.
"In event of war in the far East , "
said the newspaper publisher , "I shall
install some extra typesetting ma
chines. "
"Wouldn't the ordinary kind do ? "
asked the friend.
"No. The names of the Russian gen
erals would soon twist them up. "
Interior Test.
Larry I same to hav a chill iver }
toime Oi git in bed.
Doctor Did you try the hot watei
bag ?
Larry Sure , Oi dhrank ivery dhroj
in ut , but it didn't same to do inj
good. "
Would Not Hurt Them.
Stranger Gracious ! What rude con
ductors !
Native This is the elevated road
you know.
Stranger Well , it wouldn't hurt th
conductors to be a little more ele
vated.
Quick Chance.
Ida Isn't it a pity some nice younj
men could not get a glimpse of lum
we bachelor girls enjoy ourselves ?
May Yes , but the only trouble is U
any nice young men came along w
wouldn't remain bachelor girls.
An Kxception.
Belle Is It true that suburban fire
men are always slow ?
Eva No , I had one to propose to ml
In two days after first meeting.
Only n I ainp.
"And after the elopement , " he whig
pered , tenderly , "we will go to ligli
housekeeper. "
"Lighthouse keeping , " she echoed in
nocently. "Then all we'll need will b
a big lamp. " Kennebec Journal.
And Invert to Tell the Tale.
Fide For heaven's sake , Carlo
where on earth did you pick up thost
coach dog spots ?
Carlo Went hunting with mastej
yesterday.
Mary's Choice.
'Farmer Sawyer , what Is yotn
daughter Mary going to be when sh <
finishes at college ? "
"Wall , I kinder reckon she'll teacl I
school. She thinks she'll like the raca 2
tlons. " Harper's Bazar.
Setting Him Right.
"So -want to be son-ln-Ia-w
youwant my - - ;
do you ? " asked the stern parent wltj
as much fierceness as he could gene ?
ate.
"Can't say that I do , " replied tb
truthful young nian. "But I want t |
marry your daughter and I suppose
there's no way to dodge the Issue. "
Shutting Him Up.
"It strikes me , Mary , " mildly ob
served Mr. Slowun , "that these cake |
would be decidedly better if they had
a little more ginger in them. "
"So would you , John , " calmly re
joined the feminine end of the con *
bine.
Same Thlntr.
"I go to a dentist regularly every sia
months. "
"Humph ! I go only when I find If
necessary. "
"So do I. You didn't think I wen !
when it wasn't , did you ? " Cincinnati
Times-Star.
Up Go the Rents.
Johnny Pa , the taxpayers are onlj
the people who own properties , aren * !
they t ?
Pa No , my son ; the real taxpayen
are the people who rent the properties
Philadelphia Public Ledger. *
f
Hallucination.
"She ought to take the mind cure. " I
"What for ? "
"Why , she actually thinks she caj
sing. " Philadelphia Bulletin.
\VhitevraBhed.
Stubb I suppose when the terrifli
rainstorm beat in the tent every on
turned white.
Penn All except the sacred whiti
elephant. When the rain struck bin
all the whiteness came off.
Doine Turns.
"Lady , " said the ragged hobo , "I'v
met with many reverses in my career. '
"Indeed ! " exclaimed the kindhearted
ed female. "Tell me about them. "
"Well , " continued the r. h. , "erbou
ev'ry time I ask fer a nickel I gii
turned down. "
TIT AT NERVOUS.
Many Women During the Spring Months Suffer From Extreme.
Lassitude , Loss of Appetite and Nervousness
What They Need Is
Ton
Miss Bertha M. Rush. 5435 Kincardi
street , Pittsburg , Pa. , Superiutenden
Ji'.nior Society of Methodist Protestan
Church and leading Soprano of the
choir. writes : "Wcnls cannot describe
my thankfulness to j'ou for Perunu.
was n sufferer from systemic catarrh fo
years and was in a very much run-dowi
condition. I was extremely nervous am
had the most foolish fears over nothing
I was thin and emaciated.
"My physician advised me to leave this
climntc. but as it was not convenient to
do so at this time , I took the advice of a
friend to use a bottle of Peruna. I tool
it faithfully and when the first bottle
was gone I felt so much better that I
bought six more and took them faithful
1- , after which I looked like a HCM
woman.
"I gained in flesh , my appetite retnru-
o < l and all my old symptoms hud disap
peared. I am more than thankful to
Poruna. " Miss Bertha M. Rush.
I AM TIRED.
Everybody Is Tired Spring
Weather Does It Every One
Should Be Cautious.
Depression of the nerrons system at
the approach of spring is the cause.
General lassitude , dull , heavy sensa
tions , continual tired feeling , with irreg
ular appetite , and sometimes loss of
sleep. Peruna meets every indication and
proves itself to be perfectly adapted to
all their varied peculiarities. Peruna in
vigorates the system , rejuvenates thr
feelings , restores the normal appetite and
produces regular sleep.
That tired feeling which is the natural
result of the depressing effect of warm
weather immediately after the invigorat
ing cold of winter , quietly disappears
when Peruna is taken. Thousands are
daily testifying to its priceless benefit.
Mrs. H. Kussatt , 1309 W 13th street ,
DCS Moines , la. , writes : "I am happy to
give my endorsement for your valuable
medicine. Perjina. as I consider it a val
uable medicine to take when the system
is run down from overwork. About
two years ago 1 felt that I riust take a
long rest ns I had been unable to work
for over a month and could not regain
my strength. I could not sleep at night
and was in a very nervous , high strung ,
condition. I decided to try what Pe
runa would do to build up my strength ,
and am pleased to say that I began to
improve very shortly , and in less than
two months I was able to take up my
work , and felt better than I have for
years. I take it now twice a year and
find that it keeps me in perfect health. "
Mrs. Knssatt was for over ten years the
manager of a plant furnishing ladies'
wear and employing hundreds of
women.
Tired , IVervous Women.
There are thousands of them every
where. A few bottles of Penina would
do them untold benefit. As a tonic and
nerve invigorator it has no equal. It
luiilds up the nerves , it gives strength
to the 'circulation and at once restores
the appetite and digestion. No feeble
woman should be without Penina.
Two sets of eyes are the natural
allotment of the lantern fl ? of Suri
nam , South America. Tbese enable
fc to catch the liuhb from all directi
ons. The luminosity which glows
from its bead is so brilliant id is
easy to read by it. t
The most popular stockings in
Paris just now are those made like
a plove , with a separate compart
ment for each toe. It is said they ii
uevent corns and ease them if they
already exist.
Ihe Intramural railway , with its
14 miles of track , was auspicousy :
opened during toe Inst week of Janu
ary. There are six cars now in com
mission. During the exposition the
cars will be run in trains o three
cars each.
(
MEXICAN
asig Lioiincnt
is a posJiivf : cure for Piles. '
1O.OOO Plants for lOc.
This is a remarkable offer the John A.
alzer Seed Co. , La Crosse , Wis. , makes ,
rhey will send you their big plant and
seed catalogue , together with enough seed
to grow
1,000 fine , solid Cabbages ,
2.000 delicious Carrots ,
2.000 blanching , nutty Celery , ;
2.000 rich , buttery Lettuce ,
1.000 splendid Onions , /
1.000 rare , luscious Radishes ,
1.000 gloriously brilliant Flowers.
This great offer is made in order to in-
rluce you to try their warranted seeds
for when you once plant them you will
grow no others , and
ALL FOR BUT IGc POSTAGE ,
providing you will return this notice , and
if you will send them 20c in postage , they
will add to the above n package of the
famous Berliner Cauliflower. ( C. N. U. ) :
c
THE WAY TO WEALTH
Spendthrift "I see nothing before
me hut poverty and disgrace. "
Friend "Huw much have you
left ? "
"just fifty dollars. "
'That's plenty. "
"PlentyV"
"A superfluity. Boy a paste-pot
and shears. Thfn go over to Lon-
ion and start a comic paper. "
Never jud e a man's reputation
fur truthfulness by what he says
when in love.
*
+ ,
*
!
*
?
*
* *
. % *
f
*
*
V
*
*
* * *
A.
j. MISS BERTHA M. RUSH = PITTSBURG. 4 *
* *
* Miss Rush Suffered VVMi Systemic Catarrh Was Nervous. Had *
No Appvtile , Grew thin an1 Emaciated. She Now Looks Like a New .
-I- Women Alter a Course of Pe-ru-iza. 4-
lJ"J"J"J. . j.r. JM.j.J. .t jMjMj . .IJ Iv I I- > J "I > J M l >
If you do not receive prompt and satisfactory results from
the use of Peruna , write at once to Dr. Hart man , giving a full
statement of your case , and he will be pleased to give you his
valuable advice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman , President of the Hartman Sani
tarium , Columbus , Ohio.
The besb guide books made in
TCI many do not accept advertise-
nents , whernas some of the guides
irinted in France have twice and
times as many pages of adver-
isernents as of reading matter for
be ; tourists.
Mr. Sanger , the famous zoologist ,
fas once asked by a bure : "What
teps would you incline to take sir ,
n the erent of yonder tiger effecting
ils liberty ? " "Very long ones , "
eplied the laconic soologslt.
An Urgent Case A happy couple
veie made one the other d ; y , and it
vas learned subsqenently that it had
) een a very "near thing" for the
> ride. Two months previous to the
: eremony she told the object of her
flections that she would not marry
lira until he had laid by $2.500.
Hie young man set to work , became
Hscnuraged and gradually ceased his
risits. The lady became alarmed , (
) ut meeting him shortly after the
'ollowing conversation ensued : '
"Well , Ned" sighing "hew are
rou getting on" I
"Ob. , first rate , " cheerfully.
"Do you think you'll ever get
t , N d ? "
" ' b yes , in t n or twenty years. "
"Elh h < w much have you saved ,
lea cat ? "
About two hundred dollars. "
"Well , Ned , d don't jou think
/h that v\l oe enough ? "
And so now they are happy ,
Cribunr.
Mrs. WlnsUm's SOOTHING SYRUP for ehil- '
Inn teethingsoftens the auras , reduces inna-
nation , allays pain cures colic Piice25c bottle '
|
The meaning of an epigram is con-
ealed Ly the brilliant ellect it pro-
iuces.
In Japanese prisons the punish
ment known as water torture is
olten resurted to. The prisoner is
confined in a closet too small for
him to stir. While he stands , water ,
one drop at time , is allowed to fall
from a faucet on his head. Fev
persons can endure this punishment
longer than four diys.
Each day you and I are leaving a
r cord of what we are in every life
that toicbes our own. Philip M.
Watters.
Too much of the milk of bum n
kindness sivors of the pump.
MOTHER GRAY'S
SWEET POWDERS
FOR CHILDREN ,
. . . , ' i PJaordcra , and Destror
Kothef Qrajr. Worms. Ther Break np Coldi
fcuraainChila- 24 hoars. At mil Drnuciit * , JScti
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
' T * C ! it i mrr rw *
ron's Home , Sample nulled FREB. Addrwt.
A. S. OLMSTED. Lc Roy. N Y
a 1
Then -why not lecp In vlewtbe
fact that the t'ui-mlac lunds of
are sufficient to pnpportapopBl Honif
60COO,000 or orer I Tne immigration fet
the past six years has been phenomenal
Homestead Lands
easily accessible , -while other lands may
ba purchased from Hallway and Laud ;
Companies. The grain and grazing
lands of Western Canada , aie th
best on the continent , producing the
best grain , and cattle ( fed on grass
alone ) ready for market.
Market * . School * , Ball-nraya
and nil other conditions inako
\VeHtern Canada , an euvlabla
pot for the settler.
Write to the Sui'KKi.s I'tMJU ' J Iiort *
. Citawa. Canada ,
lira At In * imd cither informnllon ; ortl
the authorized Cunadinii Gov'mrntAgS
W. V Eennett. LJ ! iV YorkUT *
f Sale Ten Million Boxes a Year ? 1
THE FAMILY'S FAVORITE MEDICINE
CANDY CATHARTIC
lOc ,
AD
Drcegisrs
BEST FOR THE BOWELS