OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS Coarse Efforts to Be Funny. HE editor of an Indiana publication , in ar effort to make a coarse jest on the subject ol a local wedding , ran afoul of the United States postal laws , and as a result thereol pleaded guilty to a federal indictment The incident calls attention to the fact that a verj large class of people throughout this countrj carry the time-honored wedding jocularity altogether toe far , and while they seldom go to Indecent lengths in their efforts to be funny , as In the present instance , their "hu morous" attempts usually smack of a coarseness that Is entirely out of harmony with the civilization of the day. The charivari , or "nhiveree , " as It is commonly called , is an institution of historic antiquity , and when confined tea a drumming that compels the returned groom to produce a barrel of'cider and the pipe of peace , Is interesting and harmless enough , but the efforts to embarrass the newly married couple before strangers is a different proposition. Starting with the harmless old custom of throwing rice for good luck , it progressed to the matter of playing tricks with the groom's clothing , to tacking ribbons on the traveling trunks , and , finally , to the "send-off" at the train , where some humorist announces to the assemblage of traveling men and other strangers that these people have just been married , and another idiot distributes handbills to the same effect embellished with remarks more or less Im pertinent or imbecile , as the case may be. The only possi ble effect of such performances is to make the bride and groom miserable and cause all other passengers blest with good sense to feel foolish. The Hue between laughter and disgust 'Is a very narrow one , and the amateur comedians essaying great jocularity on the occasion of their friends' marriage almost invariably overstep it It seems a pity there is no way for the ag grieved ones to reach the great majority of thpi tin's editor was reached Indianapolis Journal. Publicity of Modern Life. HE fierce light that was suposed to beat ex clusively upou a throne has come , In our mod ern conditions , to beat with almost equal fierce ness upon a kitchen. The doings , sayings , ana portraits of the cooks of the truly rich are now adays matters for public record. Meantime our American court calandar includes not only the daily doings of the presidential family , but also of the fam ilies of those of our millionaires who are In , and by some supposed exclusively to constitute , "society. " Not only this , but there Is a system , especially in what would be called in England the provincial press , of recording the doings , movements , and visitations of pretty much every body in pretty much every community in the country. * * What effect is all this publicity to have upon the average man , woman and girl ? But , particularly , what effect Is all this familiarity to have upon the world's senti ment with regard to royalty and high ecclesiastical au thority ? As to these latter matters , surely there will be palpable effects. Can the sense of awe continue as great when there Is so little left of the unknown ? One thing Is sure ; the sentiment toward kings and courts and Vati- cans can never remain , the same in these new and remark able conditions. The relation between the former and their subjects and followers may be none the less affectionate , even reverent ; It may become more human , more close. But the mystery having departed , there can hardly be the old stress. When the mind Is no longer awed and clouded by the dim and the unknown , the appeal to reason must fee reinforced. Century Magazine. Do Not Worry. E should worry less if we were fully conscious of our own freedom ; If we realized that nothing can hurt us except our own false actions , that no one can hurt us except ourselves. We should worry less if we looked neither too eagerly to ward the future nor too soberly toward the past , but concerned ourselves chiefly with the duty of the moment We should worry less If we could always say to the Jeering god Failure : "I tried to do my best and that was the best I could do. " We should worry less If we turned our backs on every Satan of excess ex cessive luxury , excessive work , excessive duty , excessive anything. We should worry less if we ate simple food , if we took plenty of sleep , If we developed our minds with our bodies and our bodies with our minds. We should worry less if we would frankly meet our ideals with tem porary , just compromises , aiming simply to gain more with every new compromise. The Boston Globe says : "The investor who carries his steel stock to bed with him every night , and In his dreams sees It falling , falling , falling , Is not the man who watches the ticker tape with a sharp eye looking out of a clear head the next day , prepared to grasp the hand of for tune. I "The merchant who permits himself to suffer long from the blues because his profits this year are less than last year , will always keep a little store around the corner , so long as his brain is active. His show windows will never grace the main street "The mechanic who continually nurses the fear that he will be left penniless in time of sickness , because his earn ings all go for the family food and clothing , it but weak ening his capacity as a workman and hastening his day of expected misfortune. 'The housewife who eternally frets lest the cake fall era a speck of dust be overlooked in the parlor , not only loses the pleasure of the present , but mortgages the joys she might naturally * expect for the future. Don't worry , and the result will be fewer overwrought minds , fewer exhausted nervous systems , less recourse to bracing drugs , and a marked reduction in the r" ' r of cases of insanity. " The Week's Progress. To Make Bad Boys Good. T Is not strange that there should be a gooo deal of sentiment among public school princi pals in favor of the restoration of corporal pun ishment , under proper restriction , in the schools. The rule that the teacher who cannot secure discipline and order in his class with out resorting to physical force is not fit to teach sounds very well in theory , but in practice there are excep tions. There are refractory pupils , whom nothing but the fear of physical punishment can keep in subjection , and it is unfortunately true that the example of one or two such boys is more potent as a demoralizing force than the ex ample of the good boys can counteract Boys are naturally lawless , if they are healthy , and the forceful young rascal Avho defies his teacher is likely to be regarded as a hero by his schoolmates.There are doubtless many occasions when a good , efficient caning would do more to maintain order and discipline in the classroom than the most earnest appeal to the dormant sense of honor of the boys. In the case of the boy who drew a knife on his teacher in one of the Brooklyn schools recently , it certainly seems that an earnest application of the cane would have been more efficacious than the arrest of the boy. Imprisonment tends to confirm the vice that there may be In a boy , while the incitement to virtue of a good thrashing , from which there is no honor in the sight of his fellows to be derived , would prove much more efficacious as a reformat nry meas ure. Brooklyn Times. Average Marriage Age. HE average age of marriage for men in the * -TT * United States is 20 % years , which , according to the New York Sun , is lower than In any other country in which accurate marriage records are kept. In Sweden the average Is 81 years. Whether it Is better , on the whole , that the average age of marriage in a country should be low or high is a moot question , and the answer must vary according to the character of the country. Early marriages naturally are followed by large families of chil dren , but young parents with many children are very likely to be poor and unable to give the children much care. The young ones are forced to leave school and go to work at nn early age and thus their minds and bodies are prevented from attaining the highest development of which they are capable. True , a moderate measure of wholesome neglect is good for a child. True , also , that many great men rose like Lincoln and Garfield from the humblest and poorest of early environment But when talking of general averages it Is a safe proposition that ex treme poverty is a detriment to children. The advantages of money , good schools , books and a reasonable amount of comfort and even luxury at home are beneficial. They make a finer quality of men and women. San Francisco Bulletin. "Have you any old clothes , lady ? " asked the broom peddler. "I'll give you a fine broom for some old clothes. " "I'm busy now , " said the woman of the house. "Not to-day. " She began slowly to close the door , but the peddler displayed one of his brooms a gorgeous , wide-spreading one with a varnished handle and bound with green plush. "Just a pair of old shoes , " pleaded the peddler. "Wait a moment" said the woman and closed the door , carefully putting the catch on. Then she went upstairs and rummaged through some closets and at last found a pair of old shoes , which she brought down and offered to the peddler. "They're badly worn , " he said. "Of course they are , " said the wom an , briskly. "If they weren't I'd wear them myself : Do you want to trade me a broom for them. The man smiled mournfully and pro ducing a whisk broom said , "I'll let you have -this for them shoes and 10 cents. " "Certainly not , " said the woman' "Give 'em to me. " ' "Haven't you any others ? " asked the peddler. "No , I haven't. I donS. need a whisk broom. I want a carpet broom. " The peddler examined the shoes again. Then he said : "Well , Til give you a carpet broom for the shoes and a quarter. " j "I won't do > It , " said the woman. "Give me back ? the shoes. " " "Well , 15 cents , then. " "Oh , well , " said the woman , "I sup pose I'll have to to get rid of you. Wait a minute. " She closed and bolted the door again and went upstairs for her pocketbook. from which she extracted a quarter , which the peddler took , returning her a battered nickel and five pennies. Then he handed her a small broom , without any plush upholstering. "Here , " said the woman , "I want that one you showed me first. " "Can't give you that broom for 15 cents , " said the peddler. "Then give me the shoes and the quarter back , " said the woman. "I'll " Here she broke off and sniffed. "Gracious ! " she exclaimed , "if my pies aren't burnin ! ' Here , take your pen nies and give me the shoes and my quarter. " The peddler took back his change slowly and the odor of buruing pastry grew stronger. "I'll let you have this broom for a quarter and the shoes , " he said. The woman snatched the broom out of his hand , slammed the door in his face and rushed to her oven to dis cover four pies burned to a crisp. The peddler walked away , smiling. Chicago cage News. Wedded in Modern Style. There was a wedding yesterday in Graceless Church. Lord Baldknob of Kiltshlre , England , married Miss Sallie Panhandle , of East Pittsburg. The bridal party. Including the at- * - - > - - -r. " - ' " ! ' - r f" > torneys for both sides , forced in the alcove promptly at 11:30. : At 11:45 the real estate in the bride's name was transferred to his lordship. At 11:50 : a million dollars In legal tender changed hands. At high noon all the railroad first mortgage bonds known to be the bride's possession were handed over. A vote of thanks was then passed to his lordship for leaving the bride's father enough to live on comfortably until the next rise in Wall street , which is predicted for next spring. At 12:15 : two bishops , four clergymen , two real estate lawyers and a bar rister , representing the plaintiff , pro nounced the benediction. The groom will pass the next three weeks with his bride at his estates in England , after the roof has been re paired. After this , it Is understood , they will separate and enter 'society. New York Life. Facts About Immigration. In thirty years 1.391,076 Italians have come to this country. This immi gration has a very peculiar character. Until 1890 the percentage of women was less than 15 , but now it has in creased to 39. This Indicates that the Immigration has a marked tendency to become permanent Obeying the 1/aw. / "Why did you let him get away fron. you ? " thundered the chief. "He er took a mean advantage of me , " replied the green detective. "He ran across the grass in the park and " "Well ? " "Well , there was a sign there , 'Keep off the grass. ' " Philadelphia Press. Liand Is Redeemed. By means of Irrigation something I like 3,500,000 acres of land in Dakota I has been increased in value over $230I I 000,000. I ! Perhaps the.time will come when I the intelligence of the people will i make politics unprofitable , _ . i s I OLD FAVORITES Robin Redbreast. ood-by , good-by to summer ! For summer's nearly done ; The garden smiling faintly. Cool breezes in the sun ; Dur thrushes now are silent , Our swallows flown away 3ut Robin's here in coat of brown. And scarlet breast knot gay. ilobin , Itobiii Redbreast , 0 Itobin dear ! Robin sings so sweetly In the falling of the year. Cright yellow , red , and orange , The leaves come down in hosts ; i' trees are Indian princes. But soon they'll turn to ghosts ; 5he leathery pears-and apples . Hang russet on the bough ; its autumn , autumn , autumn late Twill soon be winter now. i'.obin , Robin Redbreast. O Robin dear ! what will this poor Robin do ? For pinching days are near. the fireside for the cricket , The wheatstack for the mouse , iVhen trembling night winds whistle And moan all round the house. The frosty ways like iron. . ' The branches plumed with snow Alas ! in winter dead and dark , Whore can poor Robin go ? Robin , Robin Redbreast. O Robin dear ! A.nd a crumb of bread for Robin , His little heart to cheer. William Allingham. Abide with 3Ie. A.bide with me ! Fast falls the eventide ; 1'he darkness deepens ; Lord , with me abide ! When other helpers fail and comfort flee , Help of the helpless , O abide with me ! Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day ; Earth's joys grow dim ; its glories pass away ; thange and decay in all around I see ; 0 tliou , who chnngest not , abide' ' with me ! * * * * * * * 1 need thy presence every passing hour Urhat but thy grace can foil the Temp ter's power ? SVho like thyself my guide and stay can be ? rhrough cloud and sunshine , 0 abide with me ! I fear no foe with thee at hand to bless ; Ills have no weight and tears no bitter ness. Where is death's sting , where , grave , thy victory ? * triumph still , if thou abide with me. Elold thou thy cross before my closing eyes ; \ Bhine through the gloom and point mete to the skies ! Heaven's morning breaks , and earth's vain shadows flee : Err life and death , O Lord , abide with me ! Henry Francis Lyte. SAUDY BIRDS OF ARGENTINA. fhey Abound There in Great Numbers and Most Brilliant Varieties. The birds of Argentina abound in ; reat numbers and variety , and they ire among its greatest and most attrac- : ive treasures. One of the peculiarities ) f these birds Is their gaudy , varie- jatcd and brilliant plumage. In color they are beautiful and in longs wonderful. Let us go to the ivoods bordering the river and see how uany we can find. Yonder bird is lalled the "arm of fire , " on account of lis bright color. lie appears to take : reat i ride in showing himself. Th re a the cardinal with the scarlet crest , vhite breast and dove-colored back , ilso-the yellow cardinal with yilljw ody and black crest. It is so named tecause its crest resembles the car- liual's hat. That beautiful pink line hat you see in the daintiest sky is aleck lock of pink flamingoes. They are tearing us. Now they alight upon the and on the margin of the river. How retry they are ! Listen to that exquisite ong. That is the "bugero , " a large ilack bird with white beak. From the Tassy marsh comes the discordant cry f the heron , and the green parrots are battering in the trees over our heads. ? hey think their scolding will frighten is away. See that lovely golden wnn reeping up the tree , hunting spider. * . Ie does not seem a particle afraid of is. Hear that sweet-voiced robin. ? hey are much finer singers than the obins of our country. Here we find dove's carelessly made nest , with two rhite eggs lying on the ground. This eve is very small , not much larger ban a canary. That modest little gray ird is the bulbul or nightingale , -which eeps his sweet song for the night. There is a tree that appears to be overed with balls of cotton , but in- tead of cotton it Is a flock of magpies unning themselves. They drop their rings and fluff out the feathers of the ack until they resemble balls of cot- 3n. They are singular birds. One rill catch a frog and run around before iie others , apparently to tantalize hem. When they bathe they jump ito a pool of water , then out and roll i the dust , then into the water again , 'hey ' impose on each other by several ens laying eggs In the same nest PHOTOGRAPHS OF FREAKS. pecialty Which Proves Lucrative to the Photographer. Not far from Cooper Union is a pho- jgraph gallery devoted almost entire- r to frerjjis. Sometimes a few pugi- sts get in there , but as a general iijng they patronize a shop kept by n ex-pugilist a little farther down the treet In the freaks' shop you will find at Imost any hour of the day giants and warfs , skeletons and fat men , hu man pin-cushions and sword swallow ers in fact anything that is included In the museum and circus line , on ox hibitlon from 10 cents to $1. Nothing in the way of a legitimate freak es capes. But once let an outsider thai is , a man whom the patrons of the show do not consider a genuine freak get In there , and he gets no picture. The photographer began with pick ing up chance freaks lu the circus about ten years ago. He personally sought out freaks and took commis sion on the number of photographs sold in the shows. The freak photo grapher doesn't do that now. He knows that he has a facility for pho tographing freaks better than anybody else , just as others excel in sporting scenes and some in handsomely gown ed women. Every man , of any good , in every profession has his strong point ; and that man's is in posing freaks to the best advantage. His name Is on pictures sold In freak shows In New York or anywhere else this side of San Francisco. His bank account would compare favor ably with the bank accounts of many fashionable photographers. New York Times. The limit of a soldier's credit at the canteen was twenty per cent of his pay. Americans are making an effort to establish a steel plant at Flushing. Holland. The proportion of policemen to pop ulation is one to 307 in Paris , one to 40S in London and one to 45S in New York. American tourists annually spend abroad an average of $75,000.000. and foreign tourists leave about $20,000,000 here. The editor of a weekly newspaper in Australia offers himself as a prize to the woman who writes the best essay on the duties of a wife. Goose quill pens and drying pow ders are still used in English law courts and the House of Lords and In the French Chamber of Deputies. John Stuart Mill was studying Greek at three , had practically mastered the language at seven , and a year later was acting as schoolmaster to his younger brothers and sisters. John Ruskin actually produced a manuscript work in three volumes before he reach ed his seventh birthday. In Haroldswick. in the Shetlaiids , a whalebone viking drinking horn In good condition was found recently in a grave that contained human bones , together with those of horses and dogs. The grave is probably that of a sea king , buried with his horse and a dog in the time of Harold Hart'agr. one thousand years ago. A pre-historlc town near Adlchan- allar , India , proves to have been of arge size , and promises to yield an extra rdinary varuty of intr-sting ob jects. More than one hundred acres have been reserved for explorations , and the remains are found considera bly beyond that ar a. Aluntt 1,000 cu rious objects of bronze , iron and pot tery have been i.earthd alre.idy , to gether with seveir oval-shaped orna ments of pure gold. TOO MANY EVAS AND TOPSIES. The ( ! rint Kenie-yi's I xjjcrience ut sin Uiic'e . ni' C. b u liv. It ws : while [ .laying a C.J.M ? : ; en gagement in the uiil.jr : \\n os' M.n- .stej. Micli.gau. th.a lt-ii. nyi Lrs ; : mv a perfonuance of " { 'n I. Toiu'.s C..bin. " At the hotel he n.e. ( he c'iue.'iiriainjj manager of this multii-le TopsA- Marks-Eva aggiegatlo ; : . 'I he maa.jir ti\aiel him with the ms ; genial j.ro- fe > s.oiiil courtesy. He placed at his use one of the two'tiny , lace-curiaiued boxes , which wore the awe and pride of the ihenUr's patrons. The iaiade of blood hounds , the donkeys , juicl perhaps the brass baul ihat manglsd Sousn's music with such conscienceless exhilaration , excited the curiosity of Remenyi. lie consulted wiih other members of his company , and it was at last decided to bejrni the concert sharply on time , cut all in- cores and to have carriages in wait ing to convey them hurriedly to the theater Jit the end of the concert pro- grain. The manager of the theater promised "to hold the curtain" for so disJngu.sh- cd a guest. And thus it was that the great Hungarian violinist was enabled to witness the great American classic. The concert audience was inclined to resent the rush until it became ac quainted with thJ reason , and then was generous in forgiving. The Uncle Tom actors worked right on their mettle. They did their best 'to hold the mirror up" to thir idea of nature , but the double reflection rather mystified Remenj i. It took him .some time to fathom the philosophy of rwn Evas. Markses and Topsys. The tears ran down his cheeks when Eva dlt d , until he sudJenly remembered the other Eva who had appeared earl.er in songs and dances. With a puzzled air he turned to one of his companions and asked how they were to manage this dual personality under such trying cir cumstances. The frieid : replied that iihe other Eva had probably washed up and gone back to the hotel and would take her turn at the "gates ajar" the following night Later whn Remenyi met the flushed and happy manager in the hotel office , he said thoughtfully : "Americans are very enterprising. They believe in having all they can of a good thing. " You can't discourage the prohibition movement by throwing cold water on it POPULAR MEDICAL DELUSIONS. An Old family Physician Tells af Some of His Experiences. Tradition and superstition , It Is said , die hard , and even in this twentieth century , the age of education and pro gress , it Is surprising what erroneous and delusive Ideas prevail regarding medical matters , says a doctor In the London Tit-Bits. In some of the more common ail ments of children a doctor hears at times peculiar views expressed. Many patients are quite under the impression that it is for their children's welfare that they should contract while young such diseases as measles , whooping cough and chicken pox , or glasspox , and they will even go so far as to ex pose them to Infection , so as to. as' they express It , "get it over and don ® with. " AB a matter of fact there is no rea son or necessity why any child should suffer from any one of these diseases. Happy Is the family that escapes them , for then there is a chance of the young sters growing up healthy men and wo men and useful members of society. Most erroneous ideas prevail- to the effect of these complaints of child hood. I have often heard it said. "Oh , it's only measles ! " or chicken pox. aa the case may be , quite oblivious to af ter effects. Any one who would take the trouble to read health statistics would soon be convinces that measles especially is not to be trifled with. And yet medical men as a rule find a reck less disregard for isolation , and in many cases not even the precaution of j calling in the family doctor , the result being naturally that the disease spreads at its own sweet will and often works havoc. In the treatment of this complaint , again , delusions and erroneous ideas exist among a large number of the community. Tradition , so It appears to me. Is more prevalent with regard to measles than almost any other chil dren's disease. A remedy that has been handed down from mother to daughter for I don't know how many generations Is saffron. Now , what effect saffron has upon this particular fever no doctor knows. Certainly there is no peculiar element in its composition that makes it -necessity. . When one remembers that saffron is merely a dye principal ly used commercially In that role and that it possesses no medicinal value , one fails to understand why it is so universally used. The only thing to be said in its favor is that , while being useless , it is harmless. A favorite addition to saffron Is brandy ; but as saffron is harmless , brandy , on the other hand , especially with babies and young children , is pos itively injurious , and should never be given except under medical advice. Children are always thirsty In tkek- feverish ailments. Yet how seldom the. ' mother thinks of giving her child water to drink. It is nearly always milk another popular delusion. Milk is aa excellent food , but it does not quench thirst ; In fact , it increases it. Grve the child cold boiled water and It wHt become quiet and less fretful. A very popular error is that spirits keep the cold out. As a matter of fact JT they do just the opposite. Alcohol in creases the action of the skin , opens the pores and makes the individual more liable to contract chills and colds , often with serious results. A glass $ f hot milk is far better and much cheap er and purer. Cost of Food in Manila. .Many travelers in the Philippines , ao well as many who have had to Bvs there on duty , have reported that the cost of living is high , but the particu lars have not often been set forth , say * the Boston Herald. An advertisement in the Manila Freedom of prices ol provisions at the Philippine cold stores affords some specific knowledge on th subject. t For beef the price per pound is ( in cents ) : Sirloin , 55 ; rump , 55 ; topside , . 50 ; round steak , 45 ; rib roast 45 ; blada chuck , 40. For mutton the pound price is : Leg , 45 ; shoulder , 30 ; loin chops , 35 to 45 ; stew pieces , 15. For pork : Leg , GO ; loins , GO ; corned pork , 45 to 50. Rabbits are 90 cents each ; hares , 75 cents ; calf's liver , 40 cents a pound ; sausage , 40 ; smoked cod , 45 ; salmon , 15 to GO ; honey , 40 , and butter , $1.05. Most of the meats are Imported , of course , but they are rather necessary to the diet of an American. It must be taken into account , also , that th * currency is silver. . Doubtless there ar native diets fish and rice , for exam ple that are cheaper. But the supply of rice is now rather limited , and tha local government is procuring and dis tributing it to the famishing. Entitled , to Another Dividend. Beggar Please , boss , won't you gimme a dime to Jenkins See here ! I gave you a dime yesterday. Beggar Well , haven't yer earnest any more money since den ? Philadel phia Ledger. Worth the Trouble. " ' find it tiresome " "Don't you , said Marc Antony , "to devote so much time to literature in addition to your va rious wars ? " "Yes , " replied Caesar , "but it pays , rhere is nothing like being your owa military critic. " Washington Star. Oldest -hip in the WorltL The oldest ship in the world , the mail schooner Vigilant , running Into St. roix , F. W. I. , although now under ; he French flag , was built of Essex > ak , at Essex , Mass. , in 1S02. Large St JLonis HoteL The Bonaparte Hotel at St Louis will ) e the largest hotel in the United States , and its opening will be simul- atieous with that of the bhj expos- ion.