THE VALENTINE DEMOCRAT
I. M HICK , Publisher.
TALENT1NE , NEBRASKA.
AIVUI enuy it is tlie open season In
Macedonia for almost everything.
It : sometimes happens that the wom-
In who Is disappointed in love isn't
lisappoimed in marriage.
It is announced that Alaska's great
fcfjed is wagon roads. We thought cli-
bate was its principal lack.
It Is quite probable that a speedily
forthcoming theatrical venture will be
The Van Wormer Brothers. "
Thus we oee that if an editor says
Kxmething severe about you in his pa-
er , and you kill him , it is a case of
lelf-defenae.
David M. Parry will go right ahead
lolviug the labor problem unless he
Jap be diverted to the Mary and Ann
tontroversy.
Another "expert" has discovered the
lecret of determining sex at will , and
Mature will laugh him to scorn as she
las all his predecessors.
An easy conscience is one which per-
nits you to violate the law with im-
Junity so long as the responsible offl-
ttate raise no objections.
The Sultan of Turkey has levied a
keary war tax. Thought the old bird
tadn't even a pluckable pin feather ;
but Abdsd knows how to use tweezers.
Even though the government sci-
Iniists prove that people eatNtoo much ,
It will be a difficult task to effect a
reformation unless hard times return.
At any rate , Uncle Andy Carnegie
ivasn't so blamed anxious to die poor
that he accepted United States Steel
"preferred" instead of first mortgage
bonds.
Oh , horrors ! We spend more on
shewing gum than on missions ! Ah ,
but by keeping some jaws busy , other-
prise than in talk , we do the best kind
8f mission work.
Capital punishment might restrain
srinie if all murderers were put to
Heath , but no such execution of the
Saw is to be expected while human
nature is what is is now.
An Investigator with a microscope
Ind a large stock of patience has found
Hit that there are 200 kinds of mos-
juitoes. Some men are never happy
ixcept when they are digging up trou
ble for other people.
As safe blowers have learned to use
electricity to promote their ends , the
himble pickpocket may acquire the art
> f the X-ray operator to locate the de-
tired purse. In the progress of science
the wicked are not without their share.
The Shah of Persia still has some
I'ery old-fashioned notions. For one
thing , he insists on doing his own offi
cial poisoning when he wishes to put
any of his loving subjects out of the
way. Some crowned heads are so fussy
aver these things.
One hundred and fourteen miles an
hour was the speed attained by an
Experimental train on a new military
railway in Germany , and it is hoped to
run a tram at the rate of two hun-
Ired miles in the same time. As pre
paredness for war means avoidance of
i nowadays , this Indicates the Ger-
nan disposition to hasten toward peace
it a pretty rapid pace.
The agreement between Great Bri
tain and France for a treaty of ar
bitration of commercial and political
Differences is the most Important vic
tory for the arbitral principle since
the establishment of the tribunal of
The Hague. Particularly is this agree
ment noteworthy because effected be
tween traditional enemies who for
centuries have been at war.
Americans have occasion to regret
> ne excellent feature in British ad
ministration. Under the system long
In use by that government diplomacy
Is a profession. Men start at tue bottom
tom as attaches or consuls and go up
by promotion or merit to the highest
place , which is ambassador. This se
cures in the service officers who are
Acquainted with many countries , who
speak many languages and have tro
skill in diplomacy acquired by experi
ence It is far different from our
catch-as-catch-can system , which of
fers no career either in consular or
diplomatic service.
The reluctance with which' some per
sons took up the duties of life when
the holiday season ended has reminded
a correspondent that at the beginning
of September the men of the Scotch
shipyards sometimes resort to the
sporting method of a "toss-up" wheth
er they shall return to work or not
A brick is thrown into the air. If it
stays up the men go back to the yard.
If the brick comes down the holiday
U extended. To tired persons who be-
Jtleve in "luck" and govern their lives
accordingly , this experiment can al
ways be depended upon to yield satis
factory results.
The frequency with which dangerous
cranks seek to gain access to the presi
dent should put an end for all time
to those seneeles * public receptions at
the president la expected to
stand up and let hundreds of peoplt
file in and shake his hand. This do
' generate survival of the royal levei
I has long been an outrageous nuisance
! It has been used as an advertising card
for Washington excursion business and
parties of tourists have been taken to
the receptions by a guide and put lu
line to shake hands with the president.
Our president is not a king or a show
piece of any kind , but a republican
magistrate , with important public busi
ness to attend to , and nobody ought
to have access to him for the grati
fication of Idle curiosity.
Few trade movements of receni
years have been more notable than
the increased demand of our zone for
the productions of the tropics. From
the United States is now bringing In
four times as many pounds of coffee ,
sugar and rice as it did in 1870 , twice as
much tea , five times as much india-
rubber , and twenty-six times as much
silk. Improvements in transportation
have enabled this remarkable develop
ment to take place. Better steamship
facilities , perfected cold storage ap
pliances and the canning industry
have brought within reasonable price
many fruits which were formerly too
expensive for general use. Even ban
anas , which are easily transported ,
sold for eight cents each in country
stores in 1ST0 A Harvard professox
relates that when he was a student
in college he used to welcome an in-
vitaticn to dine with a certain family
because rhey served bananas. Many
other tropical products now abundant
ly used were the luxuries of a genera
tion ago Their lowering cost on one
side and the increased means of the
Ameiican p.ibllc on the other have re
sulted in au extraordinary increase in
their use. Sugar and other articles ,
which on'j a few years ago were em
ployed sparingly in many frugal house
holds , have become so cheap that thorn
is now little restraint on their use.
Similarly , there has been a great in
crease in the use of wheat and kero
sene oil by the people of the tropics.
Very fittingly have the British made
botanical gardens a chief object of
Interest in many of their tropical cities ,
like Singapore , or like Kandy in Cey
lon. The familiar household names oi
their luxuriant trees and shrubs re
mind the visitor of the new depend
ence of the modern world upon the pe
culiar growths of the perpetual sum
mer.
In New York a woman with thret
children walked the streets searching
for a home. They found lodging in
a basement , and were told to "move
on" by the landlord. Her character
was all right. She had references.
The children were the ordinary kind
of boys and girls healthy and noisy.
She had money. She couldn't pay for
a palace , but she was ready to settle
in advance for a modest apartment
The children were not wanted. They
were the obstacles , impediments , flat
nuisances. That is why the landlords
said , "Move on. " It is why they say
"move on" in other cities. It isn't
right. If our boasted civilization has
reached a point where a place called
home has children blacklisted , it isn't
home at all If a boycott on the little
folks is to be a part of life hi a flat ,
then flats are by no means a bless
ing. This a world of averages. You
have got to put up with some things
that you do not like , and you should
accept the noise made by the neigh
bors' children gracefully , and thank
God that they can laugh and shout
and romp and be happy. The man or
woman Who is grouchy because of chil
dren isn't right. There must be some
thing wrong inside. The life that
doesn't include joy In the reflected hap
piness of boys and girls is a narrow
life. Don't blame the landlords too
much. They didn't bar children be
cause they are naturally hard-hearted.
Grumpy men and fretful women com
plained that other people's babies were
a nuisance. The gruff old bachelor
refused to find any music in the merry
laugh of a child , and few women
found dogs better company than chil
dren. It is business to supply a do-
maud , and so the landlords of count
less flat buildings rubbed their hands
and said to mothers and fathers of
fine families : "Very sorry , but we
can't rent to you because of your
broods. " Once upon a time France
discouraged children. It was the great
est mjstake ever made-by a nation.
Prance has not recovered from the
error to this day. Perhaps she never
will. Isn't there danger for America' '
in flat regulations that provide that
"no children need apply. "
Greatest of
Cardinal Guiseppi Mezzofanti , who
flied in 1849 , surpassed all other men j
in linguistic ability. All the tongues ,
of Babel were gathered together in
his tongue , but without confusion. Ha
spoke fluently no fewer than 58 differ-
snt languages and wrote in more than
30. Lord Byron , who knew him well ,
2alled him a "walking polyglot , a mon
ster of languages and a Briareus of
parts of speech. " Mezzofanti was not !
in the strict sense a critical or scien
tific scholar or even otherwise a man
> f great intellectual power.
His Rspl nation.
"To what do you attribute this al
leged decline in the drama ? "
"To a very simple fact , " answered
Mr. Stormington Barnes. "Too many
) f our actors care more about playing
bridge whist or baseball than they do
ibout playing 'Hamlet' " Washing-
ion Star.
The old superstition that Friday was
in unlucky day to get married on is
lying out , the people having discov-
; red that when It comes to bad luck
10 particular day leads. _ t
'Another ' club woman , Mrs.
Haule , of Edgerton , Wis. , tells
how she was cured of irregulari *
ties and uterine trouble , terrible
pains and backache , by the use
of Lydia E. Pinkhani's Vegetable
Compound.
MF.S. PINCTASI : A while
ago my health began to fail because of
female troubles. The doctor did not
help me. I remembered that mv mother
had used Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound on many oc
casions for Irregularities and uterine
troubles , and I felt sure that it could
not harm me at any rate to give it a
trial.
"I was certainly glad to find that
within a week I felt much better , the
terrible pains in the back and side
were beginning to cease , and at the
time of menstruation I did not have
nearly as serious a time as heretofore ,
so I continued its use for two months ,
and at the end of that time I was like
a new woman. I really have never
felt better in my life , have not had a
sick headache since , and weigh 20
pounds more than I ever did , so I un
hesitatingly recommend your medi
cine. " MRS. MAT HAUT.E , Edgerton ,
Wis.Pres. Household Economics Club.
$5000 forfeit if original of aboua latter proving
genuineness caniot be produced.
The Rev. Howard B. Hard , of Lan
sing , Mich. , in a recent address , said :
"I do noc encourage smoking , but if
your SOD , brother or husband does
smoke don't let him go to places
where the whole atmosphere is full
'f vice. Let him smoke in the place
\v here there is no danger if being
"iimed. Therefore , provide a smokiug
room in your church. "
Heaven governs all nankind with
ten short simple laws , and yet men
kan't organize a btseball klub with
< ut having at least thirty edikts to
govern it.
flie readers of tills paper will bo pleased to
* arn that there U at least oiie di ended dlscnv.
nit bcipnce lins been able to euro In all it
uifres. and that ! * Catarrh. HaK's Catarrh Curt-
the only positive cure known to tne medlca
raternlty. Catarrh beinir a constitutional dis
* i > e. requires a constitutional treatment. Hall
'atarrh Cure U taken internally , artine dlrectl
n the blood and mucous Miifai-e- the system
icieby destroying the foundation of the dh
ii't * , and gnln the patient s trcncth by buildnj | ;
i > the constitution and assisting nature in doini ;
tb work. The proprietors ha\e so much faitli Hi
ts curative powers that they otft-r One llundrei
ollars for any case that it fails to " < ire. Sen
> r list of testimonials.
Address. F. J. CHENEY & CO. . Toledo , O
r > olu by Druggist73c. .
Hall's Family fills arn the best.
Mankind won't proffit hi experi
ence ; the world makes az menny
blunders now az it did before the
( lood.
A talkative barber in the Dorches
ter district of Boston is fond of en
tertaining his patrons by the relatio
of horrible stories. "Mv good fel
low , " said customer who was having
his haircut , "why do you always tell
me such shocking stories such blood
curdling details of the latest mur
der ? " 'Oh , sir , there is a very simple
reason for that ! " replied th barber.
"If I make yuur hair stand onxend ,
my woik is twice as easy ! "
Don't dally with 3our p-irpose.
Put Up in Collapsible Tubes.
A Substitute for and Superior to Mrstnrd or nnj
o ; her plaster , and will not bli-aer the rae s delicnte
skia. The pain nllnymcuud curative qualities of this
rliclo ure wonderful. It mil co > the toothache < it
onre. uud relieve headache nnd facilities.
\Vo recommend it as the best and safest eztornnl
< -otintor-irrittnit known , also sis an oitornul remedy ior
pains in the chest mid stomach and all rheumatic ,
neuruluic and goaty complaints.
A trial will prove what wo claim for it , and it will bs
found to be invaluable in the household. Many peopi *
Bay "It is the best of nil your preparations "
Price 15 cents , at all driiKgifits. or other dealers , orb ;
pending tins amount to us in postage stamps , we wilJ
send yon at bo by mail.
No article xhould bo accepted by fhe public unlevitha
lame carries our label , as otherwise it ia not geuuiue.
CHESEBRQUGH MANUFACTURING GO
17 State Street , New York City.
'
FOR WOMEN
A Boston physician's discovery - '
covery which cleanses and
heals all inflammation of the mucous
membrane wherever located.
In local treatment of female ills Pax-
tine is invaluable. Used as a douche it
is a revelation in cleansing and healing
power ; it kills all disease germs which
cause inflammation and discharges.
Thousands of letters from women
prove that it Is the greatest cure for
loucorrhcea ever discovereJ.
Paxtine never fails to cure pelvic
catarrh , nasal catarrh , sore throat , sore
mouth and sore eyes , because these
diseases are all caused by inflammation
of the mucous membrane.
For cleansing , whitening and pre
serving the te"th wo challenge the
world to produce its equal.
Physicians and specialists everywhere
prescribe and endorse Paxtine , andthou
sandsoftestimoniallettersproveits value.
At druggists , or sent postpaid 50 cts.
A large trial paclcagoand toolc of
instructions absolutely free. Write
The B. Paxton Co. . Dept. 6 Boston , Ifoss.
Japan has started her tirst ship
ment of exhibits to St Louis for the
Worlds Fair. This information wa $
conveyed to the exposition authori
ties in a letter from K. Suagwa ,
who has been appointed Director ol
exhibits by the Japanese Govern
ment. Mr. Suyawa will leave Japan
early in January and will personally
receive and direct the placing of ex
hibits fr , m Japan. He states that
bis government will send 40 young
men to asbist in the installition of
exhibits and to remain in charge of
them during the term of the exposit -
t on. Mr. Sugavva says that Japan
will make more complete display of
that wonderful country's lesources
and progress than it has ever made
at any previous exposition.
An Olympic Football champion
ship will be he'd in conjunction with
t'ie Olympic Games at the World'
Fair next year. There will be two
series , one for college exclusively and
another for schools. The college
championship will be decided during
the week beginning Monday , Ko
vember 21 , and closing Saturday , No
vember26. A hands me cup will be
presented to the college winning the
championship and Olympic gold
medals to each memoer ot the win
ning team. The inteischolastic
series will be held from Monday No
vember 7 to Saturday November 12
nclusive.
Batavia. N. Y. , will make an ex
hibit of her public schools at the
World's Fair. Features of the dis
play will be sample work in drawing ,
sewing and music , mounted photo
graphs of the schiol buildings and
nterior views.
Much fruit is being placed in cold
itnragp in Southern California for
ixhibition at the World's Fair. The
olk'ction includes several mammoth
lives wi-ich are one and thiee-quar-
ers inches long and three inches in
: ircumf rence.
Dr. Salvador Cordova , Consul-Gen-
2ral of Honduras in New York City
has been appointed commissioner for
that country to the World's Fair.
Ten tons of specimen ore will be
exhibited by Shasta county , Cjli-
fornia , at the World's Fair Tha
display will contain .specimens ol
g Id , silver , copper , galena , quick-
ailver and iron ore.
The ideal weather tbafc has prevailed
vailed at St. Louis duiing the fall
mouths has permitted the World's
Fair builders to accomplish vvoLde s
Fevv dajs have been cuid enough
to delay work.The landscaping
department has been able to accom-
p ish so much that but little will be
left for tue soring , and the opening
days will find the lawns and gar
dens complete.
Santos-Dumont will start Dec.
for tbe United States to arrange foi
liis participation in the aeronautic
competithn at the Woild's Fair.
Upon his return to France he wil
' nnduct a seiies of experiments tc
aolve the question of equilibrium.
Men call their own carelessness and
inactivity fate.
Seven bit ? guns which will comprise
part of tbe Government Oidinauce
Exhibit are being installed near the
G ivernment Fisheries building at the
\Vo-ld's Fair by a company of regu
lars from the 119th Coast Artillery.
A man hears mighty few kind
words. He doesn't suit his wife 01
his children , and the neighbors have
frequent o casions to be shocked.
Give a man a kind word , and he is
su unacustomed to it that he wilf al
most ) shrink , as frum a olovv. ic
I ,
MEMORY MENDING.
s
Vhit Food Alone Can Do for the
Memory.
The influence of food upon the brain
nd memory is so little understood that
13ple are inclined to marvel at it.
Take a pea-son who has been living
m improperly selected food and put
lini upon a scientific diet in which tiie
! cod Granei-Xuts is largely used and ( n
he increase of the mental power that
oilows is truly remarkable.
A Canadian \\lu was sent to Color-
do for his health illustrates- this point
n a most convincing manner : "One
ear ago I came from Canada a ner
vous wreck , so my physician said , and
educed in weight to almost a skele
on , and my memory was so poor that
conversations had to be repeated that
'md taken place only a few hours be-
t'oie. I was unable to rest day or .
light , for my nervous system was shat-
.ercd.
"The change of climate helped me a
little , but it was soon seen that this
was not all that I needed. I required
the proper selection of food , although
[ did not realize-it until a friend rec-
jmmended Grape-Nuts to me and I
; ave this food a thorough trial. Thn
[ realized what the right food could
lo and I began to change in my feel-
ngs and bodily condition. This kept
ip until now after 6 months' use of
rape-Nuts all my nervous trouble has . .
'
entirely disappeared , I have gained in
'
lesh all that I had lost , and what is
nore wonderful to me than anything
? Ise iny memory is as good as It ever
vas. Truly Grape-Xuts has remade
lie all over , mind and body , when I
lever expected to be well and happy
igain. " Name given by Postum Co. ,
Hattle Creek. Mich.
There's a reason.
Look in each pnckage for a copy of
ho famous little book , "The Road to
.Vellvllle. . "
ATLANTIC COAST SINKING.
Fa eta Shown hv Tccent Geological
Observations *
The slow sinking of the Atlantic
: east is a fact well known to Amer
ican geologists , but the definite meas-
ireinents of the path of that subsi-
lence is a matter of scientific interest ,
is long ago as 18G8 , the late Prof.
Seorge H. Cook , state geologist of
S'ew Jersey , Investigated this matter
rery carefully , collecting numerous ob-
jervations indicative of the encroach
ment of the sea on the New Jersey
ihore. Later investigations made by
the United States geological survey
have demonstrated that this Is HO lo-
ial occurrence , but a condition char-
icteristic of the entire Atlantic sea-
Doard.
In other parts of the world similar
) bservations have been made. Along
the eastern coast of England the sink-
ng of the land relative to sea level
has been a serious matter during
recorded history ; villages lie buried
inder the salt marshes and the waves
now sweep over submerged forests.
On the other side of the North sea , the
Norwegian coast is rising rapidly , that
; s , geologically speaking. Observations
show that the Scandinavian coasts are
oeing elevated at a mean rate of 2.5
feet per century ; the maximum rate
it the North Cape being nearly twice
is much. The Pacific side of South
America is rising rapidly. Charles
Darwin , when on the Beagle , having
oeen one of the first to draw attention
to the raised beaches on the coast of
Dhili , where plaited reeds and othe
ividences of human handiwork were
found buried among marine shell de
posits at a height of 85 feet above tide
water.
Such observations as these , usually
Jisregarded by the non-scientific , be-
jonae impressive to the average man
ivhen he finds , by the evidence of
'andmarks , that the ground under his
feet is very unstable. It brings home
the great facts which underlie the
study of g-eology , and suggests that
even the apparently catasti-o/p-hic /
events of geologic history , as written
> n the pages of rock and s one , are the
result of quiet forces acliiug with that
anwearied patience "which hardens
the ruby in a million years. When Sir
Dharles Lyell saw the stupendous folds
ind inversions of strata which charac
terize the Swiss Alps , he remarked that
ill such apparently violent resu'rts
might well have taken place without
my interruption of the habitable state
) f these mountains , had man been tli
in existence , which he was not. Con
siderations such as these enlarge the
imagination and serve , as astronomy
lees , to illustrate the poetry which lies
) f ten buried deep in dust , amdd the dry
? ages of science. Engineering and
VUning Journal.
SCOTCH MINISTER'S REBUKE.
? nblic Lecture for His Wife , Who
Went to Sleep ii Church.
W. E. Burghardt du Bols , the author
if "Souls of Black Folk , " was educat
ed at Harvard and Berlin , and has
i-aveled much. At present M. du Bois
s a member of the faculty ot Atlanta
Jniversity , says the Kansas City Jour-
ial.
"About as different from my own
teople as the day is from the night , "
ic said the other day , "are the Scots ,
cherish a story I once heard in Scot-
and a story that is , I think , typical
f a certain portion of the people.
"This story concerns a minister who
aught a member of his congregation
.eeping acd lebuked him from the pul-
it. 'Awake , Saund rs , ' he said. 'Man ,
t's a disgrace to sleep in the kirk. '
' Suunders was much hurt He spoke
ip and said :
" 'Look to yer ain pew , an' mayhnp
e'll find ithcTS sleepin' here besides
ayselV
"The minister looked and there "was
is wife slumbering soundly. He
wakened her , and he told Saund-ers
hat if she fell asleep again he might
all attention to her by holding up
is hnnd. Then he proceeded with his
ermou.
"Some weeks went by and one Sun-
lay Saunders , sure enough , put Irs
and up. The wife was asleep again ,
'ho minister thundered out her name ,
ade her rise to her feet , and said to
or , before the whole congregation :
" 'Mrs. MacGregor , anybody krns
hat when I got ye for a wife I get
o beauty ; yer friends ken I got no
iller ; now , if I dlnna get God's grace ,
shall have a puir bargain indeed. ' "
Not Da n serous.
A New York clergyman , who was
ne of the guests at a beautiful sea-
here home , was asked to supply the
iulpit one Sunday. He had done so
he year before , during his visit , and
he congregation had been large.
On Saturday afternoon , as he sat in
.is room , he heard two of the grooms
alking as they returned to the stable
fter having delivered two riding
orses at the front door.
"I don't know but I'll go to 'ear 'im
t that haf ternoon service , " said one of
hem.
"There ! I knew you'd come around , "
aid the other , in a tone of approval.
He's a well-meaning man , and as I
3ld you , I've heard him twice , and
rhat harm has it done me ? "
To Be Considered.
"It looks to me as if some of these
ust magnates felt themselves supe-
ior to the government itsalf. "
"Well , " answered Senator Sorghum ,
you must not overlook the fact that
trust magnate is a great deal surer
f his job than a government official. "
-Washington Star.
When the average man writes his
ame on a hotel register it looks like a
Jhinese prescription for chills and
ever.
SLOW CARS IN VERMONT.
I New York Drummer's Tarn Abomfr
an "Accommodation" Train ,
"The South isn't the only
fhere they run slow trains , " said &
\ew York drummer , just back from
lis New England route.
"I was traveling on a road in north-
tn Vermont. In the seat ahead of"
he was a farmer , so jubilant over
mying a new buggy he was taking :
lome with him that he had to turn ,
irouud and tell me all about it. 'Gosh , * "
te "was saying for the twentieth time
? ot it dirt cheap only § 24when ;
he conductor came through asd tap-
icd him on the shoulder.
" 'Say , Darius , ' he shouted , 'ie's.
lowing up for your jumping off place/
" 'What town are we coming to ? ' I
skcd Darius.
" 'Oh , no town in particular , ' be an-
wered. 'Jest my farm. I know tha-
onductor and engineer pretty well
Tew up alongside of thpm and they-
ilways let me off here. Saves walk-
ng six miles from town. '
"Just then the train stopped , and'
Xirius made leisurely for the door and 3
crambled off the platform. A minuta-
T two passed and we didn't move on.
Guess they're helping Darius off with
lis buggy , ' I said to myself , and went
n reading the paper.
'Maybe I had read for five minutes
vhen I looked up. 'Hello , ' I said , 'still
ttanding here. Wonder if Darius got
Us buggy off ? ' With that I stuck my
lead out of the window to see , aii&
) less me , if there wasn't the engineer
md the fireman and the conductor
lelping Darius to put his buggy to-
; ethcr. And the brakeman was un-
: rating the shafts.
"Did anybody object to the delay-
sot a soul. Acted as if it were an
? very-day occurrence. They went de *
iberately at it , not even giving rail-
'oad schedules a thought , apparently ,
mtil the- buggy was all put together
md the son of Darius came across
ields leading a horse. Then Darius-
thanked them and guessed he and his
) oy could hitch up the horse all right ,
ind the conductor and the engineer *
ind the fireman and the brakeman all
u-awled back pu the train and we got
mder way again.
"That happened on the trip up. On
ihe down trip we made a stop in the
jpen countiy and , as I'd seen no one
jet off , I got out to investigate. Whea
f walked up to the engine I saw the
ingineer down on his knees on the
Tack , pounding away like all pcsses-
ied.
" 'What's up ? ' I asked.
" 'Oh , nothing much , ' he said. On
.he up trip I noticed this rail was a
ittle loose , so when I was in town
I threw a spike and an ax into the
ingine , and now I'm respiking it.
that's all. ' "
SIR H. MORTIMER DURAND.
The Netr British Ambassador to tlitf
United States.
Sir H. Mortimer Durand , who sno
: eeds the late Sir Michael Herbert a *
British ambassador to the TJnjfe4
States , has beet
British ambassadoz
at Madrid for the
last three years
Previously to his
inclusion In the upper -
per ranks f the
British diplomatic
service he had
spent more thas
twenty years ir
the Indian civil
service. The son
BIB H. M.
General Sir Henry Durand , he wat
born hi India in 1850 , and his acquaint
auce with that country , Persia an <
Afghanistan is of the most Intiraatt
kin-d. He has been private secretary
to an Indian viceroy , filled posts in tht
Indian foreign office and conducted a
successful special mission to Gabul
whither he had previously accompan
led Lord Roberts as political secretarj
In the 1S79 campaign. Before his ap
pointment to Madrid he was for su I
years British envoy and minister tc
Persia , where he was regarded as tht
most astute diplomat Great Britaij
ever sent to Teheran. In leisure mo
ments he has written a novel , "Helej
Trevelyan , " under the pen name 01
John Roy , and several works on Indiai
subjects.
A significant feature of Sir Henry 'i
selection is the fact that It is the firs
time the British government has sen :
an ambassador directly to Washington.
Heretofore Washington has been look
ed on as a post ranking at the foot q
the embassies , hence it has been thj
cus-toin to promote a minister to b |
"unbossador. "
f
Prepared for the "Worst.
Mr. Brown's enemies say that then I
is nothing else in the world he enjoyj
so much as finding fault and puttin ;
other people in the wrong. When en
gaged In this pleasing occupation b
loses all hold on a sense of hump
which is none too keen at other timei
Not long ago he and his wife wep
taking a trip through the White Mouij
tains , and at one place they weile t
be called at 5:30 In the morning to takj
an early train. Mr. Brown wakenej
first , and after a glance at his watcj
fell back on his pillow with a groaj
that frightened his wife out of hq
slumbers.
"Here it is on the tick of half paq
five , " grumbled Mr. Brown , in r
sponse to his wife's troubled que |
tions , "and if they don't call us wlthlj
five minutes sha'n't
we have tlmj
enough to get dressed and eat breali
fast ! But it's no more than I ei
pected. "
A time table , Cordelia , is any ol
table purchased on the instailmen