ALL ON A
SUMMER DAY
was unquestionably a hot day
Perhaps if Burnhani had knowr
that the next morning's papers
would send it down into history as the
hottest day in years he would have
remained in the comparatively cool
eolitude of his mother's dining-room
for the sake of his reputation. As it
was he found the uptown streets in
a state of desertion which made him
wonder Irritably if the city had retired
for a siesta.
Burnham thought regretfully of a
certain dusky corner under a Persian
canopy where there were many pll-
Iowa and much lemonade , and , inci
dentally , a girl's face , cool and sweet
above the fan she held. Yesterday
the face had been so temptingly near
too near. And to-day it was so
hopelessly remote.
He acknowledged to himself the
shameful motive of his pilgrimage.
He had come he had seen the house
which had been open to him yesterday
to-day closed to him forever. And the
face in the dusky corner suppose she
were looking at him now from behind
the heavy curtains. The wonderful
eyes , hiding their merciless laughter
under their drooping lashes ! Burn-
nam lifted his gloomy young face
haughtily and looked severely at the
house across the way.
But he did not pass on. Instead ,
he stopped with a whistle of surprise
aa what he might have taken for a
- broken parcel of laundry on the stone
steps resolved itself into a little lady
with penwiper skirts and exceedingly
long black legs , who shot up from
her cell and shook a mop of moist
and disheveled hair away from a
tear disfigured face.
"Why , Topsy ! " exclaimed Burn-
ham amazedly. It was impossible to
go on and leave Topsy crying on the
hot steps. He dropped on one knee
beside her and tilted up the little face.
"Why , what's the matter , dear ? "
"Well" the tears came flooding
back into the blue eyes "Aunt Dale
wouldn't take me to the park , and I
wanted to see the new polar bear.
They say he just sits round on ice all
the time and then - they're scared
he'll die. "
Topsy's curls whipped into Burn-
ham's eyes smartly as she burled her
agitated countenance in his freshly
starched bosom and wailed.
"Oh , hush , Topsy , dear ! Do , for
heaven's sake hush ! " Burnham
looked anxiously toward the house ,
whence at any moment Topsy's howls
of newly stirred injury might fetch
Topsy's mamma , who would invite
him in , or Topsy's" aunt , who
wouldn't look at him.
"See here ! Stop crying ! Listen !
IB that your sunbonnet on the walk ?
Well" desperately "put it on quick ,
and we'll go to see the polar bear ! "
Topsy's piercing shout of rapture
was more dangerous than her weep
ing , and Burnham hurried her off
down the street comforting himself
with the reflection that all children
were more or less salamanders , and
that they would take the first carriage
they found stirring.
"Don't you think Aunt Dale's horrid
rid ? " demanded Topsy , revengefully ,
as she clasped Burnham's hand
moistly and affectionately , and trot
ted beside him in soiled contentment.
"Oh , I don't know , " he answered
'
hesitatingly. "It's a pretty strong
word but I guess it's satisfactory , "
he added ungallantly.
"Did she pronr.se to take you to the
zoo ? "
"Well , no-o , " said Topsy , honestly.
"Not exactly. But I thought she
would , and when I went to her to-
daj * and it's such a nice , sunshiny
day" ( as if the previous twenty-eight
days of August had passed In Arctic
gloom ) "she she told me to go away
and not bother her. And and next
time I asked her to come she shook
me ! "
"Don't cry now , young 'un , " Burn-
ham implored. "I didn't cry when she
shook me. "
Topsy stared at him with very round
eyes from the depths of a limp sunbonnet -
bonnet "When did she ever shake
you ? " she asked , whisperingly , sur
veying her stalwart friend with awe.
"Yesterday , " said Buruham , gloom
ily.
"Did it make you feel bad ? " The
clear child eyes had seen the pain
under the smile.
"Yes. I'm afraid it did. "
-Topsy slipped her other hand into
Burnham's , hopping along beside him
like a comforting little bird.
t'Fni awful sorry , " she said , ear
nestly : and then , after a pause : "Was
Aunt Dale crying yesterday when she
was mean to you ? "
"No , " said Burnham , grimly ; "she
wasn't. I think she laughed. "
"That's funny. To-day she was
crying. She said it was so hot it
made her head ache. But I think she
was just crying because there was
so much naughty in her. I do some
times and they lick me- " said Topsy ,
evidently pondering on the injustice
of things.
Burnham's clasp tightened on the
little fingers.
"Was she crying much ? " he asked ,
carelessly.
"You bet she was. Mamma's green
pillow was all wet And the picture
she \\-as looking at was all over
speckles. "
"What what picture was It , Top-
. yV tturnham saw the long , de-
sorlcd street in a blur of yelkjw.
"I dunne , " answered Topsy , care-
lu ly. "He was horrid ugly , like a
poodle , with a big Y on the fronl
of him. Say , do you think the polai
bear might die while we look at him ? '
"I don't know , " said Burnham , ab
sently , in his turn. There had beer
an ultra haired young fool once whc
had given that football picture to
gbrl who had laughed at It frankly
and to his mortification. But now
Topsy's description did not trouble
him. The latter , speculating morbid
ly on the chances of being the happy
spectator of a tragedy , trotted in
silence by her escort. Suddenly Burn-
ham halted.
"Topsy , " he said feebly , and then
paused In embarrassment
"Yes ? Well , why don't you say it ? "
Topsy gave his hand a suggestive
tug.
tug."It's
"It's it's so beastly hot , dear , and
it seems too bad to leave Aunt Dale
alone if she if her head aches so. "
Topsy's chin puckered dolefully ,
and her bright eyes grew pathetically
dim.
dim."It
"It ain't hot she ain't alone 'nd
we've come eight blocks 'nd I I
want to see the polar bear. "
Burnham laid a stern hand over
the cavernously open mouth.
"Now , Topsy , hush ! We'll go to
see the polar bear , but here's an empty
carriage see ? And we'll drive back
after Aunt Dale. "
Topsy hesitated , blinking back the
tears for which she found she had no
use.
"She won't go , " she objected. "Her
nose and eyes are just as red ! And
she thinks it's hot , and she says she
just hates polar bears. But we'll
have the ride , won't we ? And will
you go to the park just the same if
she won't ? "
"Yes , " said Burnham , smilingly ;
"just the same. "
But when the carriage stopped in
front of the gray stone steps all his
assurance left him , and he pushed
Topsy out imploringly.
"I won't go In , Topsy , " he said
tremulously. "You tell her we
thought perhaps she might be sorry
ry no , good Lord , don't say that !
Oh , see here ; just just say we'd like
to have her come to see the polar
bear ! "
Then he shrank back into the car
riage , crimsonly conscious that the
thermometer stood at unknown
heights in the shade of Topsy's ver
anda ; that Topsy herself was very
dirty and he very wilted , and that the
driver had stared at him as he issued
his invitation. Never mind , If only
Dale was sorry , and her sense of hu
mor keen.
Topsy flashed out of the house jubi
lantly. "She's coming ! " she shouted
vociferously. "She'll be ready In Just
a minute she's putting powder on
her nose. And mamma says I'm a
perfect spectacle , and I've got to get
a clean dresa and my face washed ,
so you're to come In and wait Aunt
Dale says you know the coolest cor
ner , and mamma can't come down
'cause it's too hot to dress. Mamma
wants us to wait till to-morrow , but
Aunt Dale says it's such a nice , sun
shiny day , and she does want to see
the polar bear ! "
So eager was Aunt Dale that when
her neice , although she chose the
short and speedy route of the banis
ter , came riotously into the parlor ,
she found her repentant relative in
the shaded corner before her.
It was only Topsy who was struck
by the great tragedy of the empty
cage with its dripping ice blacks.
"Chloroformed him two hours ago , "
explained the keeper crudely. "Lord ,
but it's a hot day ! " He looked curi
ously at the perspiring bear-hunters.
'They ain't been much of anybody
In here to-day , 'ceptin' kids , " he
vouchsafed , with an undercurrent of
reproof In his tones.
"We only came to bring my little
niece , " explained Aunt Dale with dig-
lity.
"You didn't , " interpolated Topsy
suddenly , as she sat down wearily on
a block of ice outside the cage door.
'You wouldn't come at all till we
went all the way back for you , and
then you said you wanted to see the
bear. And now he's dead , and you
don't care a bit and oh , dear me , it's
so hot and I'm so tired and this Ice
s just water , ' 'added Topsy as an
afterthought , examining her skirts
with discouraged interest Her ac
cusing eyes caught the laughter in
Ikirnham's and she began to weep.
"You don't care , either I don't be-
ieve you care for a single thing , only
that Aunt Dale's sorry. "
Burnham shouldered her peremp
torily and bore her away to the car
riage. "You have come a long way ,
Topsy , " he told her seriously , "and it
was verjr hot and the bear was dead.
But at the end of the journey was
contentment" New York News.
Not Wholly Prank.
"Can you sincerely say that you
never descende'd toi hypocrisy ? " asked
the man of severe standards.
"Well , " answered Mr. Bliggins , "I
must confess that I once sat and listened , -
tened to m daughter3 commencement
essay and pretended to be as much en
tertained as If I were at a baseball
game.1- Washington Star.
He Knew the Man.
"What will my wife do if you send
me to jail ? " pleaded the prisoner.
* r'I think she'll do better , " returned
the Judge.
Have you been suggested for Vice-
President ?
DANGEROUS SHOWER BATH.
Volume of Water Almost Drovrned .
Adventurous Youth.
A story is told in the World's TTork
of a youth who , partly from ignorance ,
partly from a spirit of foolhardy fid-
venture , put his life in jeopardy. He
and his companion were spending a
vacation in the Yosemite Valley , and
had been fishing for mountain trout
on the Illilouette.
"To-morrow , " he , said , "I shall take
a shower bath under the 1,700-foot
fall. "
"You are a fool ! " said his compan
ion.
"Not at all , " came the reply. "The
river is very low. What there Is of it
turns to spray in the first hundred
feet ; it will simply come down like
rain. Why , you'd go under the Bridal
Veil yourself ! Only that's prosaic.
This is something big. Come on. "
"Not I. "
But I was there to see. The water ,
as he had said , came down , a consid
erable part of it , in rain and spray that
flew out on the wind Incredible dis
tances. But to crawl down , dressed in
a bathing suit closer to the main
stream that falls to the pool and upon
the rocks , with a murderous swish in
the air and a roar in the ears like a
railway train , was daring to foolhardi-
ness. At any moment a veering wind
might swing the whole mass upon the
tall , slim figure backing tentatively on
all fours down the jagged talus slope ,
his eye-glasses glinting cheerfully. A
steady breeze kept the fall swung out
a little the other way , and the spray
burgeoned out far up the other slope.
The roar was deafening.
All at once the wind shifted. The
water swung back , and in a flash the
human figure was blotted out in a
deluge that turned me sick. For a
second , that seemed an hour , it play
ed on the spot fiendishly , it seemed to
me , standing horrified there , and then
slowly it swept away.
And then there was a movement , a
painful , crawling movement down
there on the slope , and I scrambled
down the slippery rocks to help a blink
ing , creeping , much-surprised youth ,
bleeding from a hundred cuts , up to
where his clothes lay. He was still
too dazed to speak. When his breath
returned and his extra glasses were
perched again on his nose , he said :
"The oceans fell upon me. Come
back to New England. "
EMERSON'S TRUE PLACE.
"Shares with Hawthorne and Poe
Primacy of American Letters. "
Emerson shares with Hawthorne and
Poe the primacy of American letters.
Whitman must be counted with them
as an original force in poetry. His im
agination had more volume and flow ;
he had command , at his best , of a tell
ing freshness and effectiveness of
phrase ; but in power of organization ,
in discernment of spiritual qualities ,
he falls far below the Concord poet
For It is as a poet that Emerson must
be reckoned with ; the limitations of
his prose , the lack of order in his
thought and of thorough and large
structure in his style , are due to the
poef s method In dealing with his sub
jects. He has enriched our literature
with a few poems of such directness
of vision , such captivating simplicity
of imagery , such ultimate felicity or
phrase , that they will lay hold of the
imagination of remote generations.
He was not great in volume of emo
tion , in tidal force and sweep of im
agination , in that fullness of life which
comes to the poet whose genius Is
charged with elemental power as was
Dante's and Shakspeare's. He did not
look at Christianity with the fresh and
original insight which he brought to
other subjects. He saw the disorder
of society , but he did not seem to real
ize the tremendous significance of sin
as moral evil. And although he said
striking and profound things about
Christ , he foiled to take the measure
of the divinest personalty in history
a failure due in part to the force of
the religious reaction in which he
lived , and in part to his fundamental
view of life.
In spite of these limitations , he re
mains In many respects the finest
product of the old race In the new
world : the loftiest Interpreter of its
fundamental idea and mission ; one of
the deepest and noblest of its teachers ;
of a life so simple , so blameless , so
nobly poised between vision and task
that to recall it is to catch a glimpse
of the spiritual order of life , and to
believe in the dreams of the pure and
the great Hamilton Wright Mabie in
the Outlook.
MONKEYS WHO DINE AT A TABLE.
The New York zoological garden in
Bronx park boasts three yery intel
ligent monkeys Dohong , Pretty Peg
gy and Polly who were caught by the
camera while enjoying a meal al fres
co , Their table manners me-y not bs
of the best in the world , but they
have learned to use a fork and to
drink out of cups and mugt without
disgracing themselves or their tutors ,
Curator Ditmars and Simian Keeper
Miles. The trio dine in public only
twice a week , on Saturdays and Sun
days , and on those days are watched
by admiring hundreds.
The efficacy of the clufc ! tts ntvei
been fairly estimated.
Apple Ice Cream.
Success in Ice cream depends consid
erably on the method of freezing. DC
not use too much salt or the ice cream
will be hard , but coarse in texture
and icy in consistency. Three pints oi
salt is enough for a large pailful oi
cracked ice or a gallon freezer. Pack
cracked ice in layers with salt , packIng -
Ing it in firmly but making It moist
with cold water. Ice cream should re
main packed for at least two hours
after it Is fro/en. It is better it
packed for four or even six hours af
ter it has once been thoroughly frozen.
Keep it well covered with cracked ice
under thick layers of newspaper so
that the air cannot reach it while it is
resting. A grated apple is a palatable
addition to a plain cream , flavoring it
somewhat like cocoanut Make a
custard of a cup of granulated sugar ,
the yolks of four eggs and two cups
of milk. Stir the milk over the fire
until it Is very hot , but not until it
boils , then add the cream and take
off the stove and let it cool. Just be
fore putting the cream In the freezer
add a cup of tart grated apple and
freeze the cream immediately. The
grated apple should not be allowed to
stand hi the custard , but the cream
should be frozen at once. Only a fine
ly flavored , tart apple should be used
for this purpose.
Damson Pickle.
Secure the fruit with stalks on , and
not over ripe. To every quart allow
six ounces of lump sugar and one pint
of white wine vinegar. Prick each
damson in several places with a darn
ing needle. Boil the sugar and the
vinegar together , and pour it boiling
over the fruit Next day drain the
syrup from the fruit , boil again , add
ing a quarter of an ounce of cloves
and a quarter of an ounce of cinna
mon or mace ; then pour it over the
damsons as before. The third day sim
mer all very gently , being careful not
to break the fruit Store in jars , and
when cold cover with a bladder. This
pickle will keep for several years , and
is most excellent with either hot or
cold meat
Champlain Potatoes.
Cook one tablespoonful of butter and
one teaspoonful of flour in a saucepan ,
and add cold boiled potatoes in some
what thick slices. Mix well with a
cupful of stock gravy or milk , and
season with salt and pepper. Stew all
together for a few minutes , then re
move from the fire and add the yolk
of one egg beaten with one teaspoon
ful of lemon juice and a little cold
water. Stir for a few minutes , pour
in a hot dish , and serve with chopped
parsley. This way of cooking pota
toes is called Maitre d' Hotel.
Cherry Meringrue.
Make a rich pie crust , a third of an
inch thick , and bake a light brown.
Have your cherries stoned , and sweet
ened liberally and stewed in their own
juice until quite thick. Pour into the
pastry , and have ready the whites of
three eggs beaten as stiff as possible
with three tablespoonfuls of powdered
sugar. Spread this smoothly over the
cherries an < 3 let the pie bake again
until it is a light brown. Serve cold.
Strawberry Puddinjr.
One quart of sifted flour , two scanv
tablespoonfuls of butter or butter and
good sweet lard , half a teaspoonful of
salt two teaspooufuls of baking pow
der , mix well , then add enough milk
or water to form a soft dough. Roll
out thin and spread with berries ; roll
it up and tie in a cloth. Place in a
steamer and steam until well done.
Gingerbread Cakes.
Mix thoroughly together half i
pound of flour and four ounces of
butter , then add four ounces of
brown sugar , one e g. a teaspoonful
of ground ginger and two tablespooii-
fuls of molasses. Stir all together
again , and drop tablespooufuls of the
batter on the baking-tin , and bake till
cooked thoroughly.
Various Uaets for Ammonia.
A little ammonia in tepid water will
soften and cleanse the skin.
Spirits of ammonia inhaled will olten
relieve a severe headache.
Doorplates should be cleaned by rub
bing with a cloth wet in ammonia and
water.
If the color has been taken out of
silks by fruit stains ammonia will
usually restore the color.
To brighten carpets wipe them with
warm water in which has been poured
a few drops of ammonia.
One or two tablespoonfuls of ammo
nia added to pail of water will clean
windows better than soap.
A few drops in a cupful of warm
water , applied carefully , will remove
spots from paintings and chronics.
When acid of any kind gets on cloth
ing , spirits of ammonia will kill it
Apply chloroform to restore the color.
Keep nickel , silver ornaments and
mounts bright by nibbing with woolen
zloth saturated in spirits of ammonia.
Grease spots may be taken out with
weak ammonia in water ; lay soft
white paper over and Iron with a hot
Iron.
Ammonia applied two or three times
ra a fresh cold-sore will kill it It
will drive It away if used when the
old-sore Is first felt.
i
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-Sayings that Are Cheerful -
ful to Old or Younu Funny Selec
tions that Kverybody Will .Enjoy.
The topic bad been carefully explain
ed , and as an aid to understanding the
teacher had given each pupil a card
bearing the picture of a boy fishing.
"Even pleasure , " said she , "requires
the exercise of patience. See the boy
fishing ? He must sit and wait and
wait. He must be patient"
Having treated the subject very
fully , she began with the simplest ,
most practical question :
"And now , can any little boy tell me
what we most need when we go fish
ing ? "
The answer was shouted with one
voice :
"Bait ! "
Not Much to See.
Maybelle Did you notice Clara's
new bathing suit at the beach this
morning ?
Sallye You forget , dear , that I am
near-sighted.
None -Loose Like It.
Mrs. O'Hagan Come , Terence , trut'
an' honor now , have ye ever seen an
other like my baby ?
Uncle Terence ( grumpy ) Sure , Mary
Ann. an' I can't remimber , not having
been to a musee-um or a side show
this twinty years.
Considerate Little Son.
Stern Parent Your mother tells me
you have been naughty again , and
therefore I shall be obliged to punish
you.
you.Troublesome
Troublesome Son Wh-why can't ma
punish me herself , pa ? I don't s-see
w-why you should have to d-do all the
odd jobs.
Jn t Lorely.
Mrs. Crawford She married a car
penter.
Mrs. Crabshaw Isn't that just love
lyl Now she can have shelves put up
whenever she wishes , without having
to ask the landlord over and over
again. Puck.
Why They Don't Spenk.
Mrs. Cutting Hintz Mr. Takem
Wright , the photographer , said my
baby was the prettiest baby he'd ever
seen.
seen.Mrs.
Mrs. Caller Down That's strange ,
lie said the same thing about mine.
Mrs. Cutting Hintz Well , I guess
he saw your baby before he saw mine.
Detroit Free Press.
The Rush to the Country.
Farmer Well , what's the matter
now ?
Agriculturist from the City It's like
ihis : The cow refuses to sit on the
stool.
Used To Trouble.
"What makes you think you are
qualified to become a football referee ?
Are you brave ? Have you ever put
down a riot ?
"No ; but I have acted as judge at a
baby show. "
An Acqi I red Habit.
Mrs. Gramercy-Do you think It was
an intentional slight on the part of
Mrs. Newrich ?
Mrs. Park Why , no , my dear. She
hasn't been a lady long enough to
know how to be rude. Puck.
Losing Interest.
Mrs. Oldwed And does your hus
band love you as much now as he did
when you were first married ?
Mrs. Newed ( a bride of six months )
I don't know. I haven't asked him
for three days.
Comparing Notes.
"So Mr. Simlax told you his heart
was broken when you refused Mm ? "
-i.'id Maud.
Yes. " answered Mamie.
Tue impudence of him to offer me
" iqed goods the next day ! "
.1 iiLgton Star.
Too PreciouB.
A village clergyman has this choic
bit among his annals. One day he wai
summoned in haste by Mrs. Johnston ,
who nad been taken suddenly UL H
went , in some wonder , because sh
was not of his parish , and was known
to be devoted to her own minister , the
Rev. Mr. Hopkins.
While he was waiting in the parlor ,
before seeing the sick woman , he be
guiled the time by talking with he ?
daughter.
to kno-v ?
"I am very much pleased
your mother thought of me in her ill
ness , " he said. "Is Mr. Hopkins
away ? " .
The lady looked unfeignedly shoclc-
ed.
ed."No , " she said. "Oh , no ! But we're
afraid it's something contagious , and
we didn't like to nin any risks.-
Housewlfe.
V On Woman's Thrift.
A traveler has a story of a cannj
old dame whom he met In one of hi *
motor tours. He had the bad luck tc
chickens. It wai
run over one of her Hst
not greatly hurt , but he stopped and
offered the woman a trifle in compen
sation.
"Yes , sir , " she said , "when I wanti
a pullet killed I allus puts un out la
the road. Ten to one but it's runned
over , and then I gets the payment and
my pullet too.
i A Color Scheme.
"Phoebe , see how the color has run
in this waist It's simply ruined ! "
" 'Deed , missy , I has de wust luck }
color seems to run in our fambly. "
Life.
Now They Don't Speak.
Ethel Yes , I won Charley at 9
euchre party.
Ernie Indeed ! I heard you wen
awarded the booby prize. Chicago
News.
Its Advantage.
"I should think golf would be ratha
violent exercise for your grandfather. "
"I suppose it would if he didn't havi
so much time to rest while the ball U
being foand. "
Shoe on the Other Foot.
Osmond Well , you've never seen mi
run after people who have money.
Desmond No ; but I've seen peoph
run after you because you didn't hav
money.
Unprofitable Qucstioniasra.
Husband A penny for youi
thoughts , Flora.
Wife I was thinking of a fifteen-
dollar hat
A Problem in Rhetoric.
Little Bobby Say , pop !
Father Well , what Is it now ?
Little Bobby If a Chinaman speala
broken English would a white man
speak broken China ( Exit Bobbj
to bed. )
Advaatace of Riches.
Physician The truth can no long j
be hidden , madam. I am obliged to
tell you that your little son Is er-
weak minded ; that is well. It must bi
said he is an idiot
Mrs. Highup How fortunate it i |
that we are rich. No one will ever no
tlce it New York Weekly.
Couldn't Scare Him.
"Colonel , " said the fair hostess to tin
hero of many battles , "are you fond ol
classical music ? "
"Madam , " replied the gallant colonel
"I'm not afraid of it"
Inquisitive.
Bertie Papa , a little stream is
streamlet , isn't it ?
Papa Yes , Bertie.
Bertie Well , papa , Is a
Papa Oh , go away , Bertie. I wan
a little quiet
Bertie Well , why didn't you say
wanted a quietiet ?
Her Pet Name.
"Darling , " he said , after the pro
posal , "Hildegarde is such a long and
formal name. Is there no pet name bj
which I "
"Oh , yes , " she Interrupted , "the girli
at school always call me 'Pickles. ' " -
Philadelphia Press.
Misdirected Effort.
"Chicago Is all right in most re
spects , " said the retired burglar , "but
it's a poor place to make money' "
"Why , I thought it was the best
ever , " rejoined the pickpocket
"Well , it ain't , " replied the r. b.
"Why , only last week a friend o
was pinched for making a few
els. "
Ajrainst It.
Brokeleigh Miss Gotrox , I indulge
the hope that I may yet win your love ,
Miss Gotrox Then the rumor It
true.
Brokeleigh What rumor ?
Miss Gotrox The one pertaining fc
your penchant for overindulgence.
Aa
Bess I '
wasn't aware that MI
Shopley had such a loud voice until J
encountered her in a downtown stan
this morning.
Nell-How did you happen t node ,
