THE VALENTINE DEMOCRA1
XICB , , F * > lhe .
TALENTIN1 , NEBRASKA
It is a sign you are growing ok
\vhen you read the obituary before tin
marriage notices.
When Mr. Morgan finish * his $300 ,
DOO home Mr. Carnegie will give bin
a few books to put in it
Over in Paris they call one of oui
most graceful forms of entertainmenl
"De Ka-Ka-Wak. " Do you know whal
it Is ?
The fellow who sits down and wait *
for his rich relations'to die must con
sider that they are worth their wait
in gold.
A Chicago man traveled 14.000 miies
and spsnt $5.000 for the purpose of
winning a ? 20 bet. Some people are
very hard losers.
Our country has the misfortune fre
quently to step on Germany's corns.
It seems as though Germany sticks
out her feet for that purpose.
The Chicago paper which is to be
started and managed by women prob
ably could be induced to take its dry
goods and millinery advertising out in
trade.
King Alexander of Servia wants to
know what's the use being a consti
tutional monarch if such a monarch
can't do as he pleases with the consti
tution.
The Kaiser has drawn the plans for
the German Building at the St Louis
Exposition , and now , to play out his
"whole thing" role , he ought to ome
over and build It. '
A Kansas City judge has decided
that a baby cannot be attached for
its parents' debts. The idea that the
parents' attachment for the child Js
the strongest is quite logical.
There is tilk of an alliance between
Italy , France and England. Now let
Switzerland , Portugal and Holland get
together , and the peace of Europe will
be secure for at least another week.
We must bear In mind , however ,
that when Jefferson said "pride cos.ts
more than' hunger , thirst and cold , "
there were no beef trusts , few cham-
pagns thirsts and never a coal speculator
later between the mines and Edgewa-
ter.
It will astonish the victims of the
grip to learn that the bacillus of that
infernal disease is only onersixteen-
thousandth jot an inch in leogth and
nbout onejeighty-thousandth of an inch
in width. The general impression dur
ing the epidemic was that the bacillus
must be of at least the size of a sea
serpent
An American is the discoverer of a
process by which can be made paper
weighing 30 to 40 per cent less than
that used in the books of to-day. I-f
he could find some method of doing
away with the heaviness of the great
majority of the matter put on the 'pa-
per the reform would be one of th *
greatest of the century.
"Advertising pays" has come to be
an axiom of modern business meth
ods. The business'man who tries 'to be
successful without it/is tempting fate
instead 'of fortune. The American na- '
tlon to-day is recognized abroad as the
greatest industrial and commercial
proposition in tbte world . and the
American Bastion spends $250,000,000
.annually in advertising Its business.
If when you go to New York yon
meet a man who wears checked trous
ers very large ebee&s and spats , you
will kriow yolf have een a multimi
lipnaiKe. GShat is the way mnitimS- ,
lionaires are rexMtosentiftd by carlooo-
ists who , of ctfotse , always are a i
mated by accuracy , p&tjeely as etag
managers arwajra &ve flj rillalne of
the play shiny hats and patent-leather
boots , not shoes.
There Is a good deal of truth , btrt
mighty little enootrragement in the
statement of the Chicago clergyman
who fluds that there are a great many
people In the churches who have no
moral < ? onvict3oii.s arid a great many
more men of rrroraJ influence and stand
ing who will have nothing to do with
the churches. The situation indicates
that the churches are not teaching
Christianity , for whatever may be the
differences respecting Christianity as
a religious creed there can be none as
to its value as a code of ethics.
We are , indeed , passing rapidly into
the age of woman. We have had the
bronze age and the stone age and the
coal age and others quite like them ,
sovit is not out oftho ordinary to
ha.vQ , the woman's age. A woman law
yer defended some burglars a few "days
ago and the women truck drivers got
tlirough a mob at St. Louis some time
ago. In Kansas they have women offi
cials in some counties and a woman A
elsewhere was a bunco woman , and tx
women are running racing stables. txsi
There were women ballpJayers and si
there is a woman cowboy In Texas and
women farmers without nui&ber. And
the list could be continued. Let the
work go on. Perhaps the day will e
come when the men can stay at homo tl
tla
aid the women easi ths living. We a ;
would then have a barrel of fun. d
63a
There Is only one remecry for tha a :
friction between labor and capital rl
arbitration ! Arbitration ofJ differences It
, is the only genuine lubricating oil thi
[ will prevent the grinding together (
two unyielding surfaces until one <
the other Is broken or the sparks s <
fir * to the building. And those wli
will not accept arbitration on equf
terms convict themselves of one of tw
things or both. Either they fear 1
submit their side of a controversy t
fair men on its merits or tbey are eage
for trouble.
'When we hear of some traveler wh
has been impoverished by sharpers o
an ocean steamer we feel reasonabl
sure that he broke Into their game 63
pecting to rob them. Either that o
he is an idiot pure and simple : Th
case Is obviously a ease of the bite
bit We wtitrte no emotion upon thes
alleged victims. A fool and his mone ;
are soon parted why need we troubl
ourselves as to the details ? It is i
perfectly safe assumption that in nin
cases out of ten the fellow who lose
his money hoped and expected to ge
the better of the others. He was no
looking for congenial companionship
And when the would-be spoliator is de
spoiled he appeals to no sense of pit :
or Indignation in the hearts of hones
and enlightened men. Nobody car
whether he gets fleeced or not No
body ought to care.
How the world loves Its childrei
heroes , the little folks who 'have Spar
tan blood In their -veins and set ex
ampl s > of courage and patience thai
might well serve their eWers. There Is
littte Seymour Smith , a New Yorh
nine-year-old , and the son of a doctor.
Seymour was playing -'tag , " when he
was knocked down by a truck which
passed qver his right leg , crushing il
below the knee. Of course , we older
Polks know that cries and groans dc
aot lessen pain. Tbey are waste ef
fort an very annoying. But what
is it that made a child of nine wink
sack the tears , as he was laid in q
Blanket and say : 'It is all right Mr.
Policeman ; please don't mind me. 1
ivon't cry. " At the hospital be would
lot take ether , and when he saw the
ars rSlling down'his father's cheeks ]
ie said : "Ten them to go ahead , papa ,
tnd dtjn't cry , I won't mind , if I don't
mve to stayaway from school. " The
K > y is going to get welL The doctors
iave done all they can and old Stotber
Mature is now taking care of the .lad.
[ "here are men who will go for month ?
nth aching teeth , because tbey are
.fraid of the pain a dentist.will in-
iict There are men who grunt and
roan about a thousand ills that creep
nto their daily lires. And it is left' '
or a boy to wink back the tears and'
ay : "Don't mind me , Mr. Policeman , '
won't cry. " All of those who read
his little comment will be glad that'
'Bymour ' Smith is to be a whole boy , '
aund and strong one of these days. '
[ e Is a benefactor in a way , for he'
as taught the lesson of courage.
A rich man has left a legacy of $4 i
'eek to his daugh/ter , to begin only'
fter the death of her husband , and
ie same amount to a son , to be paid
aly so long as he is husband of his' '
resent wife. This is carrying dicta- '
on of the conjugal affairs , of heirs to'
rather harsh extreme , yet H is of a
ass of wills that have become un-
> mfortably common. Restrictions in
ills against the marriage of widows , '
inghters or sons have become an"
reryday affair. The man who finds
: the threshold of the other world that'
2 cannot tak-e. with him the money
tat has been the idol of his life seems
find consolation In the reflection
tat be can at least make it live after
m in the control' of 'his poor wife'
ehildren , Many a money grub-1
ng brute , who has made his wife'
teerable as long as he lived , has
abrnced this easy means of making
T naiewy continue' after he is gone. ;
od he binds his children under con- '
tSous that dwarf and warp their
hole lives. It is the absolute sover-
'
jnity of money over human nan-
ness. No man is so wise as to Be
de to foresee Hie condition under i
liich his widow or children may def f
e to wed. if is not the husbands and
fiber's judgment or forslght * thart ex- ' '
txls its sVay into Hie future , but the'V '
vrer of unthbaking. unpitying , uurej'
itihg money. It takes the heart "out' \
life , the soul out of frepdorn , kills' ,
*
wliolesome > innocent ambition and
adeus the moral sense. This man'
(
ustrates the senseless inconsistency
such provisions. He discourages'
s daughter's marriage , and at th ' ' |
tne time discourages his son' ?
rorce. Clearly no fixed principle ' *
lid be In control. lie is moved f
ely by a determination to in-1 J
' *
fere in relations in which there'
> uld be no interference. Xo doubt' ' c
tunil love and affection for a child *
5 often been the " cause of such prorij j a
ns. But It "is doubtful if ever a r
lighter's life was made happier by B
Certainly no son was ever made
xjtter man by such means.
Sawdnst Ibr Wood.
* rench cabinet-makers have learn-
, a way of preparing sawdust auq °
king it into articles of oraamen )
.t resemble carved woodwork.
. $
In Argentina.
tachlnery has been ordered for tht ci
jentino Republic to turn out 350 , cJ
s a wee"k of "ilolascuit , " the new P
tie food made from molasses an < 2 's <
or-cane fiber. | ( fi
i the old days of barbarism , meci
re divided Into factions , as at pres1 u
When two factions disagreed
y collected their spears , and bows
i arrows , and went to war. In the
Ulzed times , the members of differ
factions "talk about" each other !
cc
i Invent all sorts of improbable sto
L Half the charges against human I.
are pure fiction , < _ _ . '
All over the District of Columbia
ire scores of types of volcanic actioi
ind all show traces of electrical en
The German Cable Company has fin
Isbed laying its second line to Nev
ork as far as the Azore islands , 1,20
aiiles.
Rent from American property own
d by foreigners or Americans livinj
ibroad is believed to amount annuall ]
to not less than $25,000,000.
It Is proposed to distribute Green
wich time to vessete on the Atlantii
ind Mediterranean and to Buropeai
eities by wireless telegraphy.
The- guff stream is 200 fathoms deej
&ff Cape Florida. Near Cape Hattera :
the depth is only half as great , th <
rtreaui appearing to have run uphill
with an ascent of ten inches to tlx
tnife.
It has been estimated by an expert
In the employ of the government thai
ipricult'ural machinery reduces tht
rmmbcr of men employed to do a giv
2n amount of work to one-third , whik
manufacturing machinery reduces the
lumber to one-fiftieth.
Electric anaesthesia proves valuable
n surgery , as well as in dentil opera-
; ions. By high-frequency alternating
currents a French surgeon has produc-
> d insensibility so lasting that a se-
ions and difficult operation was per-
'ormed , the patient feeling nothing.
It is not generally known that the
ackal is a greater destroyer of hu-
nanity in India than the tiger. Sta-
istics published by the government of
ndia show that while 928 persons
vere killed by tigers more than 1,000
ihiWren were carried away by jackals.
About five years ago a Maine wom-
m , taking a consumptive husband to
be mountains of Arizona , was shown
.n abandoned claim by her Indian ser
vant. She took it , with great difficulty
ecured $500 to work it and before the
rear was out sold it for $50,000 and a
l e interest.
According to the latest taxation re-
orts the number of Prussian million-
ires has increased from 6,016 in 1899
0 ' 6,601 in 1902 , or 9.7 per cent. But
hey are millionaires in marks , a mill-
jn marks being Irttle more than a
uarter of a million dollars. Only 791
re millionaires in dollars and but
e o are worth as much as $25,000-
00.
00.A
A newly patented German process of
Iving relief to ornaments and velning
n wood consists in gluing strips of
aper over the parts to be raised , and
* en dabbing the entire surface verti-
illy tvith bundles of fine steel wire.
'be ' so-fter parts of the wood corne
tit as dust , while the protected places
nd the hard annual rings remain un-
CPected.
A millionaire who died recently in
lew York left an account book filled
*
'ith his " 9peculationsi'as apart from
is legitimate investments. The total
urchases and sales for the la-st three
2ars approximated $2,000,000. Two
nndred and sixty dollars' profits re-
ained to the financier's estate. The
onderful part of the s tory is not that
ic profits were so small , but that they
ere so large.
At the recent corn carnival at Pe
la , Mo. , there were on exhibition an
) ple of the pippin variety "and an ear
! ordinary yellow corn , the former
eighing six pounds and about the
ze of an average watermelon , while
ie latter measured fourteen inches in
ngth , contained 947 grains by actual
iunt , was two inches in diameter , six
ches in circumference , and was pick-
1 from its staMt nine feet from the
ound.
Mrs. Julia O'Toole of Boston has Hie
tisfactiou of knowing that her beau-
is a matter of court record * She
kd been awarded a verdict of $20-
0against the Old Colony Street Itail-
ad ( Soinpany on account or injuries
stained. Tffis verdict was "set , aside
appeal , tfte Supreme Court holding
at the jury in the trial had been
arriod off their feet" through their
miration for the plaintiff. Mrs.
Toole will carry the case still high-
An improved machine for sealing
velopes has been invented by a man
TopckaKan. "In operation. " says
i Scientific American , "the envelopes
j fed into the machine , the flaps
Mstened , turned , and finally pressed
htly to sealing position. The rna-
ine , it is claimed , will seal from
00 to 15,000 envelo'pes Un hour of
ordinary bulk , mixed s4xes , and es-
jially adjusted will seal at about the
ne rate up to one-half inch in
3openhagen , the capital of DemuaKk ,
; just elected a Socialist mayor. lie
a working painter named Jensen ,
b has been for some time president
the Danish trades unions. After
election he was met outside t'he
, -n hall by a procession ef over 1,000
lialists , with torches and bands.
2y conducted him through the
wded streets which were lined with
ering masses of workin men. to the
> ple's Hall , where a fete on a large
Ie was held. Mayor Jensen is the
t Socialist to gain suc'h high honor
Deiiiuarik.
} IAN DANCE AT PINE RiDGE.
iv Ernest Thompson Sctoii ITud to
Pny to Get Out of It.
rnest Thompson Seton gives in the
i' Y ork Tribune an interesting ac-
at of the Oruaha dance at Pine
ge last July :
fo open the ceremonies , " he said ,
: , dogs were killed. These dogs
were boiled in six wash boilers , anc3
then refreshmepts wer handed
around.
"It's of no use to describe the dance ,
because an Indian dance has to be
seen ; but in a lull a young fellow came
in and danced alone. He gave the
most wonderful exhibition of all the
dance steps , known to humanity appa
rently , that could be imagined. It
was marvelous. I said to the inter
preter , 'Who is that ? '
" 'Why , don't you know ? ' he said.
That's White Cap. '
"It seems White Cap had a natural
genius for dancing , and loved it with
his whole soul. 'Buffalo Bill' discov
ered him and took him to Paris. He
had a good salary , but he possessed a
soul above filthy lucre. He spent his
entire emoluments in paying for les
sons in Parisian dancing steps. He
followed the same policy in London.
Now White Cap is back on the reser
vation. He is not wealthy , but he is
content * . He is the star dancer of the
plains.
"At a certain point in the ceremony
proceedings stopped and a herald walk
ed up and down and chanted remarks
to the effect that six rneu had given
their time to get up this dance , and it
was only proper that the rest should
chip Jn to recompense them. Every
body gave something. One give a pair
of moccasins , one a dog , one a buck
ing broncho , and so on.
"When the contribution box got to
the minister the herald walked up and
down and chanted some more. The
gist of his song was. 'Here are all
these white men come to see us dance.
They get all they want out of us , but
I don't see as we get anything out of
them. '
"One white man walked up and
dropped ? 1 Into the tin bucket. From
all around the circle come :
" 'Ugh , ugh , ugh , ugh , ' in commen
dation.
"The next dropped in a half dollar.
" 'Ugh , ugh , , ugh. '
"Next came a quarter.
" 'Ugh , ugh. '
"Then came a man who dropped in
one plain , ordinary , little copper cent.
"Dead silence.
"Then the herald got up and chant
ed : 'One white man has dropped in
a cent. TMs must be one of his gen
erous days. I should like to see him
on one of his stingy days. '
"When this was translated to the
white man he flushed up till he gave a
I'ery good imitation of a red man. To
3o the poor fellow justice , it was all
3ie money he had , but he borrowed a
naif and went and dropped it in the
Bucket and got one 'Ugh' for his pains.
"After awhile th'e squaws had a
lance and chose their partners. One
) f them chose rne. It was easy enough
: o get in , but there seemed no way
: o get out. As I danced past the in-
eppreter , almost dead. I gasped , 'Bill ,
low do I get out of this ? '
'Only way is to pay up , ' he said ,
ginning.
'
" 'How much for a chair ? ' said I.
" 'Guess a dime'll fix you , ' said he.
"I handed over a dime aad congrat
ilated myself that I had got out of
hat dance mighty cheap.
"After it was over a smart young
aan came up and said : 'Mr. Seton ,
am here getting illustrations for ( he
mined a New York magazine ) and I
hink it proper to inform you that I
ave the bulliest sketch of you danc-
tig with that squaw that anybody evei
aw. '
"Then I wasn't sure that I had got
ut of that dance so cheap , after all. ' >
AT A WASHINGTON HOTEL.
nterview Between an Englishwoman
and One from Chicago.
There is a very handsome woman
taying at one of the smart family
otels , where everybody knows every-
ody else except the somebody and
miebody else who don't speak to each
ther when they meet. She is a Chi-
ijro wonuwi , rich as the whole Croesus
unily , and during a year spent in
.ngland was inoculated with a London
i-ceiit which , to her way of think-
ig , took wonderfully. That accent is
s dear to her as her back hair , com-
tents the Washington Post. Now , a |
le same hotel abides an English'gen-
ewoman whom everybody lores. * \
; w evenings after the lady with the
ated accent arrived the English wean
an happened to hear fliat she was
DIM Chicago. Accordingly she walk-
I into the parlor where the uforesaSO
dy was criticising and counnentinr ;
1 things American in a way whicl >
iiglish gentlefolk do not permit them
ives when they visit us. The Eng
; h woman did not hear the couversa
in , or monologue , rather , but she ar
ired just after the Chicago woiaai !
id said fierce things about the horri , s
e American accent. Tire grou-p oJ t :
3inen stopped talking as the Euglfsh- rltl
IIKIII drew near , and there was au tl
troduction. tlS tla
"I am so glad to know you , " S
B Englishwoman , "and to know thnj tl
u really are from Chicago. I speni tly tly
ch a.delightful summer there during y
ur wonderful World's Fair , and t/j ti
ar your charming Western aceen' tl
ings it all so vividly back to me. " tl
tlsc
id there were certain ones amona sc
2 women there who went out iutc scoJ
i hall and meanly laughed. oJ
oJhs
hs
hsSi
A Retort jof Hilborn's. Si
Representative Hilbor-n , of Calif on- cc
i , after a vote In the House unseating
n , retired to the cloakroom , where
he/Id / a levee as friends crowded lr\ \
th expressions of Sympathy and
d
3d will.
sv
Well , Hilborn , " said one of them ,
ju are cer-tain to come back , so you
ar
jht not to feel so bad. "
Jr
Yes , " said Hilborn , in his dry way ;
e all cherish the Christian belief in
i resurrection , but I don't think that ofl
entirely reconciles us to death. " to
itury. ;
UNIVERSITY OF SALAMANCA.
Some of the Quaint Customs of Th
Ancient School.
The most typical and interesting , a
well as the oldest , of the Spanish un
versities , according to the London Lai
cet , is that of Salamanca , which wa
founded in Valencia in 1200 and tram
ferred to Salamanca in 1240. The un
versity played an important part i
the history of Spain , for from it cam
almost all the distinguished * Spaniard
of the sixteenth and seventeenth cei
tunes , though probably Don Quixote'
"Bachelor of Salamanca" Is the men :
her of the university best known i :
England. It was to Salamanca tha
Gil Bias was going when he bega :
his travels. The university was i
most distinguished corporation and it
representatives , with the other gran
dees , swore fealty to the kings o
Spain at their accession ; it receivet
solemn visits from royal personages
as did our English universities unde
the Tudors and Stuarts , and , like Ox
ford and Cambridge also , it advancet
money to the kings which was not al
ways repaid. In 1710 the University o :
Salamanca gave to King Philip V
330,000 reals and 100 men whom th <
king 'equipped for war and maintained
as English nobles did in feudal times
In its most flourishing time Sala
manca numbered 10,000 students , bul
now there are not 500. Salamanca
itself is quaint and interesting a
ical old-world Spanish city , with a
large square containing shops undei
i colonnade decorated with placques ol
the heads , of the kings of Spain and
) ther distinguished persons , the latest
) f whom has been dead 200 years' . The
streets are narrow , the houses are tall
md curiously wrought iron gratings to
: he windows which are far above the
leads of the foot passengers , and
here are many convents and churches
ind very beautiful pavements. In the
nain square , where is now a gar *
len , there used to be , bull fights form-
irly. The houses are moldering away
ind the servants at the chief hotel are
gnorant of any tongue but their own.
The university was founded literally
inder the shadow of the church , and
vas never free frpm ecclesiastical in-
luence , and such influence is evident
a all the educational institutions of
ipain to this day. Students were not
iable to any civil authority , but were
ried by the vice-chancellor a prac-
ice which led to so many scandals
hat eventually the king appointed
hree conservators on behalf of the
ity to be assessors with the vice-chan-
ellor when he tried the students for
3rious offenses acrainst the citizens.
THEY SHOW HORSE SENSE.
Drivers of Express Wagons Depend
Upon Their Steeds.
"I have heard of express horses
mt became so expert in 'picking up
ill cards' that the driver had"noth -
ig to do but get out at each stop and
) llect his packages , " said the uiaua-
2r of a Western express office a few
lys ago. "The story is told that one
arse in New York had such an eye
> r business that he takes in upper
ories as well as ground floors , and
iver misses a trick. Sounds fishy ,
> esn't it ?
"Well , I believe it , nevertheless ,
lie trick is done by drivers who stop
leir horses in every instance a few
et before readng the sign or call
rd of their company , and after an
fectionate pat or caress , taking up
0 card and waving it at their dumb
; rtner. Continual association with
is same card fixes it on the eyesight
the horse until he knows it well ,
nally the horse falls into the habit
stopping at the familiar sign as
tidily as the driver. Now , we have
ch a horse in Denver. lie is a big ,
telligeut bay of the name of Dick ,
lorn I purchased at Lonjrnuont a con-
1 of years ago. Frank Herrick , his
iver , makes a pet companion of htm ,
undies' him with a stick of candy ,
lump of sugar , an apple , or the like.
' 'Lately he has noticed that Dick
mid stop without being told to dc
every time a card was seen. First
would go to the right and stop , then
the next card was on the left he
mid cross and fetch up dead in front
it. and nod his head as much as tc
r : 'Get that package out of that
ive , and you want to hurry , too. "
iladelplua Inquirer.
Buttc's Great "Wealth.
Joue w-oalth is produced in the small
? a of Butte every year than in some
lole States. The revenue from the
nes some fifty-five million dollars
equal to the income of the govent-
iiit of Holland. The recent grea !
> gress in every- department of elec-
2al development has been made pos-
le in large degree by the energy of
se men of Butte. For the city and
envorons now produce a quarter of
i world's entire product of copper ,
mt two-fifths that of the United
tes. A single group of mines in
heart of the city the Anaconda
p
ids more than twice as much copper
rly as all Germany. Nor is the
isure confined to copper. Butte is
greatest silver-producing center in
United States , its annual outputrst
ie thirteen million dollars beinj ;
rly equal to that of the entire State tc
in
Colorado , which , next to Montana ,
the largest production of all the
f
tes. And of gold Dutte still yields d <
siderably over a million dollars
rly.7 Century. N
in
Which Switch ? inbe
e You say that automobile acei- best
bem
t was caused by a misplaced m
: ch ? st
stN
ie Yes ; the dear girl tried to fix It N
st > * er her auto at the same time
jung man , if a girl declines the th
of your heart and hand It is up lit
qu to make her regret the lost op-
Fairs.
A gentleman -was donning his outfit
) reparatory to taking a horseback ride
nto tbey country. After a irfclte it
lectured to him that hi * rlflJng boots
iad been left in aaothtr part of the
iouse and be accordingly informed a
Irishman of their lo-
,
{ errant , a young
ration , remarking at the time that
in the-
ibere were two pairs together
iloset and he should be sure to get'
toates. In a few minutes the servanli
returned with two boots , but odd ones , .
"Why , don't yon see these are not.
? " the other , out , of patience1
; rith the felk > w. "One has a longer-
top than the other. "
"You are right about that , " replied1
the Irishman , apologetically ; "but then :
the other pair was just so , too. " PhiL-
idelphia Ledger.
The Affluent
"Why do they always portray the
farmer as purchasing gold bricks ? "
"That's easy explained , " answered
" farmer's the fel-
Mr. Corntossel ; "the
[ er that's got the cash these days ; the
Dther people is hustlin' to get some of
it by any trick they can fix up. "
Washington Star.
Not Strikingly Noble.
"So your daughter is going to mar
fy a nobleman. "
"Yes , " answered Mr. Cuinrox ; "but
lie's only a nobleman by professioa.
Personally I must say he strikes me as-
i pretty common sort" Washingaorh
Star.
The Ideal.
"How many children have you , Mrs. .
Scaddsleigh ? " he asked.
"One , " she replied. "I must telU
rou what a cunning thing one of my
lear little doggies did yesterday. E
iad her out for an airing in the car-
iage , and "
"The baby ? "
"The baby ? Mercy , no ! My doggie- I
! hope you don't suppose I am my own
r" Chicago Record-Herald.
Plain Knongh.
Briggs What possesses you to wear
hat great ulster ? I'm never cold , and :
ee how thin my overcoat is.
Goward That doesn't signify. You-
ust buy yourself a big ulster , and I.
warrant you'll be cold enough after s >
ew wearings to enjoy it all right
Joston Transcript
Not Likely to Remain.
_
Mistress You are a nice little girl.
\.nua , and I like you very much. 1
lope you will remain Avith us always.
Anna ( innocently ) That's just what
naster said to me this morning.
Appreciative.
"I don.'t believe you hold the public
n very high esteem. "
"My dear sir , " rejoined the billion-
ire , "you wrong me. If it weren't for
he public where would we look for our.
irofits ? " Washington Star.
Old Variety.
'Let me sell you letter-opener , "
aid the clerk in the novelty store.
"Have one home , " responded the lit
le man.
' . 'Indeed ! What kind is it ? "
"My wife. "
Appropriate.
Lan r They have a "flatiron build-
> g" in New York.
Denny Phwat koind av brick'is nfe
uilt av ?
Larry Pressed , Oi guess.
THAT'S THE TIME
When Prooer Food Is Necessary.-
Proper food is never more necessary
ian when recovering from a wasting
ckrress when ever-eating would be
fd P ref D"CedS " " "W t
At ttos time the condensed food
rane-Jfcts is shown to be one's most
.werful . fnend. Porrr teaspoonfuls of
rapeirts and cream win sustain-
healthy man for hnlf a day and a less
lantity in warm milk will build up the
nvalescent wonderfully. No stomach
too weak to digest and relish Grape-
; was taken slck with typfcott
ver and everyone who has had this
jease knows how weak and lifeless a
oa feels when
beginning to
recuper-
&
"I had to be very careful about my'
2t and could eat only very light foods
icse d4d not seem to nourish me and in
sad of getting better every day Ias
3t at a standstill and
everyone
began-
fear a rolnpse. One day while 1/ine-
bed very much discouraged my si
io was reaQmg to me from the pa
id an article about Grape-Nuts and
eided to send for a package
-From the very first meal "of Grape-
rts I
began to improve , strength caW
bounds and leaps with the result that
s soon out of bed ; my change for th *
: ter seemed simply "
marvelous. "Mv
ad clear and
strong and my body
jrdy. I am now entirely recovered '
s asbr Postnm >
There is a reason.
L dessert that helps the bodthat's
. thing Any number of S in the
6
