TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER
ESTING ITEMS.
'Comments and Criticisms Based Upoa
.ithe Happen ings of the Day Hiatori-
1cal and News Notes.
| Love Is a disease that a preacher
ft very often cures.
'fit looks as If a dispensary would do
a good business in the nation's capitol ,
, > * *
hi r ' | France Is organizing a north pole
expedition. It is still two to one on
the pole.
Professor Delitsch bas come up foi
another round and has landed on the
Kaiser in a new place.
Leonard Wood may Induce the
Filipinos to change their religion , but
aiobody believes that he can make
Jth em work.
' Hetty Green calls her dog Dewey.
People who think lietty has absolute
ly , no sentiment may be partially inis-
itaken after all.
Seven hundred dilferent dialects are
spoken by the natives of Africa. That
will he a great place for the dialect
poet some day.
Jose Palma's elopement with a New
York girl demonstrates the fact that
riot all Cuban treaties are balked in
the United States.
"Mrs. WIggs of the Cabbage Patch"
Is to be dramatized. We know a few
actors who could play the part of the
cabbages all right.
11 Gunners shoot through yellow spec
tacles with 30 per cent more accuracy
than without. Yellow politics and
yellow journalism are not so accurate
is yellow gunning.
A national organization of dressmak
ers has declared against the shirt
waist. But anything as smart and
jaunty as the shirt waist will not mind
n little thing like that.
A Minneapolis lady in Chicago faint
ed when somebody mentioned $700 as
the price of a gowii she , was looking
at. Perhaps she knows now how fath
er feels about these things.
The Chicago aluiunl of Augustana
College has declared that "we must
take woman as she is. " That's what
most of us have been doing right along ,
and we have been glad to get her oil
her own terms.
"Sow the wind and reap the whirl
wind" simply means that if you per
sist in talking to that girl three nights
.In the week at present , later on she
will talk to you every night of your
life unless you stay out all night.
The word chaffeur will soon have a
special meaning one who runs down
.and runs away ; one whose disregard
lor others' safety is in direct proportion
tion to his regard for his own ; one
who lacks the courage of his destruc
tion.
A young man who received $1,000-
000 as a wedding present a few days
ago took it into Wall street for the
purpose of linding out how the busi
ness Is done. Money was a good deal
easier .when he walked back to his
"bride at the hotel in the evening.
Various contemporaries in the Unit
ed States are belittling the Czar's re
form ukase with the assertion that it
-will amount to nothing unless the re
forms are properly put into * effect.
They have not , however , gone so far as
to claim that the ukas is no more
finding than a platform pledge of our
own happy land.
A millionaire who died recently in
.New York left an account-book filled
with his "speculations" as apart from
his' legitimate investments. The total
purchases and sales for the last three
.years approximated two million del
lars. .Two hundred and sixty dollars'
profits remained to the financier's es
tate. The wonderful part of the story
ds not that the profits were so small ,
, but that they were so large.
Say , when a fellow Is eternally af
ter something , and runs or is run by
-others , for every little picayune , tup
penny thing going , doesn't he remind
you of a remnant scrap of soap ? It is
lee small for use ; you can't lather
with it ; it slips and slides around in
the dish like a drop of mercury. The
only thing to do with it is to chuck it
into the slop pail. So , also , fire the
chronic candidate. Or give him a hot
stove and let him make off with it and
stay put.
Natural woodlands are better regu
lators of water supply than are dams ,
reservoirs and ditches , and , besides ,
they are much cheaper. Moreover , In
tel IIgently cultivated forests can be
made steady sources of wealth , where-
jis irrigation works and levees are per-
iMinial causes of expense. There are
men who cannot understand that more
crops can be raised if a proper proportion
tion of land is kept In forest than if
it is all cleared and cultivated ; there
jire others who do understand , but who
prefer quick profits to slower , though
jnore permanent , gains. For such per
versity there is no cure other than leg
islative assertion of the greater rights
of the whole community or the re
straint of individual selfishness and Ig
norance by law.
Nothing is more ominous than the
sftf ady increase in the number of defal-
' at.ons and breaches of trust. These
iihvqys come with changes and altera
tion's In the conditions of business
When expenses increase faster thai
gross receipts and the margin of profit
shrink owners and managers inevitably
begin to Investigate leaks , to look lnt <
the corners , to examine books and ac
counts and to find just how things are
When this Is done Irregularities aresur <
to be uncovered , dubious practices ar <
laid bare and defaulters find them
selves suddenly discovered or so neai
discovery that they flee. A falling mar
ket plays its part also at such a time
Speculation ceases to be profitable
Losses replace past profits. Men whc
have risked their employers' inonej
lose it or are tempted to pilfer on i
large scale or small to save some ven
ture near collapse. These various
causes are all now operative.
"War is an anachronism a relic 01
the stone age , when prehistoric man
adopting the only mode of argumeni
known to him , fought for the posses
sion of caves. When it is made toe
horrible to contemplate it will cease tc
be the resort of civilized nations. " Dr
IliebaVd Gatliug , who died Feb. 20 ir
New York , wrote that opinion to a
friend many years ago. Dr. Gatling
was the inventor of the famous Gat
ling rapid-fire gun , the first "pepper
box" designed for wholesale slaughtei
of troops. He was once a clerk IE
a St. Louis store. Witnessing the suf
ferings of wounded soldiers coming
from the front during the Civil Wai
led him to wonder if a remedy could
not be found for the great world evil
When he took up the construction ol
his machine gun in 1804 his life was
threatened by people who considered
him a "public menace" and a whole
sale murderer. General Butler used
two of the first Gatling guns in the
famous James River expedition ,
Abroad the invention was taken uji
at once and many similar mechanisms
sprang from his idea.
The case of Mrs. Maybrick is undoubtedly \
doubtedly one of the most celebrated
in the annals of crime , and , like that oi
Elizabeth Canning and others of sim
liar character , will long he discussed ,
though doubt will never be entirely
cleared from it. One reason why shi
has had the sympathy of so.many people
ple on two continents is because it wai
felt that she had not had a fair trial
The Judge who tried the case Sij
James Stephen though he had been a
very able man , was known for his severity
verity in such case's and was undoubt
edly then in the decline of his powers
A year or two later his mind became s <
impaired that he was retired from tin
bench. Notwithstanding the brillian )
defense made by Sir Charles Russell
subsequently the Lord Chief Justice oJ
England , the Judge charged so strong
ly against the prisoner that the jurj
was compelled to return a verdict ol
guilty , and Mrs. Maybrick was sen
tenced to be hanged. The outburst oJ
indignation in England at such a sen
tence In a case admitting of so mud
doubt was so strong , however , that thi
home office commuted the sentence t (
imprisonment for life. Since then , nov
thirteen years ago , a persistent aiiC
well organized movement has been car
ried on both in England and America
to obtain Mrs. Maybrick's pardon. Tin
petitions sent forward from the TJnite (
States were presented through our am
basador in London , though it was no
a case in which our government couk
interfere. Although there have beei
three or four changes in the Britisl
cabinet since Mrs. Maybrick was con
victed , and at least four different sec
reraries of the home office , all of then
able lawyers , none of them until nov
seems to have been influenced by thi
doubts that had been raised , but be
lieved that she had been properly con
victed.
"DIABETIC FLOUR" FRAUD.
In Most Cases It Is Not What It Par
p.orts to Be.
According to a Massachusetts Stati
Board of Health report , of thirteei
samples of diabetic flour , or flour pre
pared for the use of diabetics and pur
porting to be free from starch , enl ;
three samples , the product of one man
ufacturer , were found to be free fron
starch , the other ten , or nearly 80 pe
cent of the samples collected , wen
found not only to contain starch , bin
that in large quantities , seven belni
found with 60 per cent or more ot
starch. These were , in' reality , but lit
tie better than whole wheat flour , am
were sold at prices varying from 11 t (
50 cents per pound. There are prob
ibly few of the better informed oi
general physicians who would not say
'All the better for the patient , so fai
is his health is concerned , " becausi
uread that does not contain starcl
loubtless injures him more than thi
> est-made , well-baked "crusty" wheai
jread. There seems to be a deal 01
ndefiniteness and a vast deal of dif
'erence of opinion among physicians ai
0 these questions of bread and diet foi
liabetlc patients. These difference !
lo not show themselves so much in thi
ext books , where there is general uni
'ormity of advice. But when it comei
: o getting" his bread the poor diabetii
inds that the physician knows little o :
lothing as to the chemic and digestivi
jualitles of. the breads he can buy
[ ? he matter is left without oversight tc
he bakers and commercial agents , pre
: lsely where it should not be left , am
ouch to the perplexity of the patient
to wonder that the diabetic's healtl
adls when he tries to digest some o
he "bread" he is advised to get ! Af tc
rylng it he can but think , if he doet
.ot know that this disease Is a moderi
ne , that the origin of the Scrlptura
ijunctlon against giving a stone whei
> read Is asked for arose from the ex
erience of his poor ancient brethrei I
1 trying to live while conforming ti
be scientific diet list of thoie days.-
Linerican Medicine.
POSSE GETS HIM
SUPPOSED SLAYER OP JUDGE MAB.
CUM : CAPTURED
Taken Without Bloodshed ,
ALLEGED ASSASSIN BETBAYZD Bl
BIS RELATIVES
I
Uncle Swares Out Warrant
.Flye "Witnesses Ready to Testily to hit
Guilt Prisoner a" Athletic Young
Man of twenty-eight Years
Lexington , Ky. , May 11. The cap
ture of Curtis Jett , charged with the
assassination of J.B. Marcum in Jack
son Monday , was accomplished with
out blood shed at 3 o'clock Sundaj
morning. He is now in tha ClarK
county jail at Winchester.
; Bearing a warrant which.had been
sworn out by Sam Jett , uncle of the
accused , Sheriff McCoid and a possu
of seven left Wiuchester at midnight
Saturday. They proceeded to the
home of Mrs. A. Haggin , Jett'a
mqther. Jett made 110 show of re
fiistance.
Jett's stepfather A. Haggin ,
charges that when Jett reached hia
house last night from Jackson .he pro
ceeded to draw his pistol on him
( Haggin ) and ordered him to get out
of the neighborhood. ' Haggin went
to Richmond and swore out a warrant
charging Jett with breach cf tha
peace by assault with a pistol.
In the jail today Jett was corr >
municative on all matters save thfl
killing of Marcum. "I'll get out ol
this all right , " was the only state
ment he would make that could be
construed as a leference to tha
charge. He said he wanted to be tri
ed in Breathitt county. He was bit
ter in denouncing his uncle , who had
him arrested and said ; that the score
would be evened up when he was at
liberty. When asked in reference to
the statement that five men would
testify thab he killed Marcum he
simply sneered and replied , "What's
that to you ? "
To sheriff McCord he was equally
non-comrnuuicathe as to the Marcum
tragedy.
Jett is twenty-eight years of age ,
athletic in build , with deep-set , keen
eyes and has bushy red hair. That
he submitted to arrest was an agree
able surprise to the officers who fear
ed an encounter.
Jett denies that he drove his step
father from home.
! e will be arranged Tuesday and
it is supposed will be transferred to
the Jackson district for trial.
BROTHER WAS NOT WILLING
Beatrice , Net. May 11. Jiminie
Walsh , of Lincoln , temporarily resid
ing in Beatrice , had all arrangements
made last evening to get married
when his hopes of matrimony weib
rudely shattered and the wedding was
Sectored off , all because of the inter
ference of an unfeeling brother. Jim-
mie came here a few days ago to en
gage in the picture business of some
kind. He met and became madly in
love with a young lady of the city
tvho reciprocated the feeling. It wa
i sure enough case of love at first
> ight and every thing was running
smoothly until the brother , Thomas
F. Walsb , also .of Lincoln , filed an
) bjection. Jimmie was so elated ovei
lis good fortune that he had to con-
ide in some body so he wired his
) rother that he was going to be mar
led. And right there was where the
mother got busy. He wired the
: ounty judge warning him n-.t to
ssue the license , saying tbat Jim-
nie was a minor and that he was his
guardian.
Jimmie had gone so far in his prep
.rations for the wedding that he had
ailed on Justice Inman who was to
lerform the marriage ceremony.
Just befure the county judge had
losed his office for the day Jimmie
eminded that to get married it was
necessary to have a license , appeared
tefore the judge and announced his
rrand. The judge flashed the tele-
ram on the young man and regret-
ally told him that he could do nuth-
3g for him. And then the balloon
'ent up. "My guardian indeed ,
ay , that brother of mine is only
tghteen vearsold while I was twenty
ae several months ago. If there
as going to be any guardianship in
nr family'I rather guess I'd be 'it. "
b w s several minutes before the
sung man could realize what had
appened , it was , all so sudden and
aexpected , when he left the court
Duse to go and announce the sad
2ws to his intended wife.
A DESPERATE STREET DUEL
Yazop. Miss. May' II. A desperate-
reet duel took place here this after-
) on between T. A. and E. M. Kelly
i one side and B E. BirdsaU. editor
the Yazoo Sentinal , and his two
others-in-law , Gibbs and Doyle
Drsey on the other. T. A. Kelly
is instantly killed by a bullet
rough his heart and his brother
is dangerously wounded. Doyle
> rsey was fatally shot and died
. ' * be- ruble , Srew oub of PQli-
s.T. A.
: Kelly was circuit clerk of
e counts.
SWEPT BY FIRE
Ottawa Has Kept tition of Calamity
, 1900 Burns Over Saza * District.
Ottawa , Ont , May 12. A fire sus
peoted of being of incendiary origin
Sunday afternoon and evening des
troyed hundreds of houses and mill
ions of feet of lumber in this ci ty
John White , who has just been re
leased from the penitentiary afte
serving a term of imprisonment fo
arson , was caught near where tb <
fire was first discovered. He wa
taken to the police station ana wil
be charged with starting the confla
gratlon.
The fire originated within a stonei
throw of where the great Hull fire o
April 26 , 1000 , was checked.
Two hours before Che principal fin
started two smaller blazes were dis
covered and quickly extinguished ir
the lumber yards near the Canadiar
Pacific railway. It was 3:30 when the
third was discovered. When the bri
gade arrived at the scene it wa <
found that the water main had beci
damaged and no water could be ob
tained.
When the brigade did get watei
the fire was utterly beyond control.
It swept along over the same grounc
the t the former fire had gone , the
only difference being that it was go
ing In the opposite direction. There
is a large cliff which extends from
the Ottawa river into the corner oi
Margaret and Preston streets. The
fire area was on the flats below the
cliff , At two or three points it came
very near getting over the cliff , and
had it done so nothing would have
saved the city. At 9:30 : last night
the fire was under control and was
confined to the following area :
The Ottawa and Parry sound rail
way on the south ; Divison street on
the east ; First avenue on the west
and the Richmond road on the north.
From the Parry Sound road to the
Richmond road is about one mile and
from First avenue to Division street
is about one-quarter of a mile.
While the fire was burning fiercely
among the lumber piles the whole
brigade of the city which had been
summoned were forced to remain
idle. For an hour not a drop oi
water was thrown into the flames.
After leaving the lumber piles the
flames swept over Pine street , which
runs east and west , down Willow , Pop
lar , Anderson , Eckles , Somerset ,
Spruce , Elm , Maple , Albert and on to
the Richmond road or properly speak
ing , We'lington ' street , where it was
Stopped , a short distance from the
Canadian Pacific railway depot.
At 9 p. m. it was feared that the
fire would get over the cliff , on the top
of which is St Jeanne Baptist church.
The firemen , however , succeeded in
keeping back the flames.
Fifteen million feet of lumber were
destroyed. The loss on the lumber
will be about $300,000. The buildings
burned were principally dwelling
houses and stores. They were all built
since nhe last , great fire and were eith
er solid br c < or r ck A e eered as the
city u cl not permit of any other
kind being erected. The loss on the
buildings was estimated at various
figures at night- Mayor Cook said that
there were from five hundred to six
hundred families homeless or about
2,000 ndividuals. All the parties are
supposed to be well insured.
The mayor said the city would op
pose any aid being asked from outside
Canada and personally he thought that
bhe city should grapple with the sit
uation without any appeal for outside
aalp.
aalp.Mayor
Mayor Cook estimsted the loss on the
3ui dings at $300,000 , making a total
loss of $600,000.
Mrs. Lillie Granted Stay.
Columbus , Neb. , May 12. Judge
Sullivansigned an order this afternoon
luspending the sentence of Mrs. Lena
[ jillie until her case can be reviewed
) y the supreme court which will pro-
'
) ably be in September. In the mean-
iime she will be confined in the Butler
sounty Jail.
Injuries Prove Fatal.
Nebraska City , Neb. , May 12.
lerbert Meyer , a 7-year-old son of
ienry Meyer , tried to cross the
rack of the Missouri Pacific ahead
if the passenger train from Omaha
t noon and was caught on the pilot
f the engine and thrown some dis-
ance. His body was so hadly bruis-
d that he died three hours after-
rards. He and a companion were
oming home from school , and while
hey could see the train coming they
bought to cross ahead of it. The
ther boy escaped' ' unhurt.
Remains Brought Back.
Waboo , Neb- , May 11. ( Special. )
'he remains of Alfred T. Davis , who
ied last September while servinj ? as
soldier in the Philippine islands ? ar-
ved today-for burial. Deceased en-
sted from this county two years ago
ad was the son of James K. Davis
he funeral will be held from the
tethodist Episcopal church in Weston ,
( ednesday , at 2 o'clock p. m. Chap-
-in Mailley is expected to be present
ad preach the funeral sermon.
DEAD LIE IN HEAPS
BRITISH DEFEAT TRIBESMEN
STUBBORN" BATTLE
PROPERTY IS CROWNED
DECISIVE VICTORY MEAJMS CHANGE
OE POaSEaSION
THOUSANDS ARE KILLED
Invading Force Outnumbered by the
Ntlveg , Who Fiprht With Fanat
ical Fury .Hut .Badly
liepulsed
London , May , 13. Colonial Secre
tary C'lamberlain annoi uced in the
house-of commons coday that as a
result of the British military opera
tions in the So'koto and Kane dis
tricts , ending with the capture ol
the emir of Kane , 100,000 squan
miles of territ > ry had been added to
northern Nigeria , and would be ad
ministered by the government of
that territory.
Interesting details have been re
ceived here of the capture ot Sokoto
Marcb/14 by the British commanded
by Cclonei Morland. The engage
ment lasted two and a half hours.
The British numbered about 500
meo , with four quick-tiring guns and
lour Maxi JQ. The enemy's horse and
foot was estimated to number 6,000
men , their ridemen being armed with
modern rifles and using smokeless
powder. The British camped dur
ing the night of March 13 one and
one-half miles from Sokoto , after a
hard march of 100 miles from Kaura ,
with but little water and having
passed through a difficult country.
] At daybreak March 14 the British
'moved out in square formation
'towards the valley in which Sokoto
lies Immediately after the British
appeared over a ridge the Kulanis
charged with fanatical bravery , un
deterred by a withering Maxim and
rifle fire. They had no proper
leadership , but the isolated bands
continued to advance over heaps of
dead and dying , often only individuals -
, viduals reaching within a yard of
the square , where ; refusing quarter ,
they were shot down while shouting
"allah" with their last breath. The
main body of the natives were finally
routed , leaving only a remnant of
ab mt thirty chiefs around the emir's
white flag. These chiefs were de
fiant to the last , and their corpses
'were found hedging the standard
when the British entered the city ,
which consisted mostly of thatched
houses. Its semi-ruined walls ex-
'tendeci ' seven miles around the place
and were pierced by eight gates.
A few days later the populace re
turned and the Fulanis tendered
their submission to C-immissioner
Lugard , who arrived March 19 and
installed a new emir. The British
then retired towards the coast leav
ing a garrison of two companies of
infantry ,
Panama Canal Company not Worrying
Washington , May 13. William Nel
son Cromwell , general counsul of the
new Panama Canal company , made
public a stitement regarding current
reports affecting the company , in
cluding that eminating from Panama
that the company had offered the
Colombian goveinment $12,000,000 of
the $40,000,000 the company is to re
ceive from the United States. The
Statement is as follows :
' The new.Panama Canal company
has not made a oroposal to pay $12-
100,000 nor any sum whatever to the
Colombian government nor to any
parties whatsoever for or in con
nection with the ratification of the
pending treaty. Statements to the
contrary are absolutely without the
slightest foundation. TZ
"Dp to this hour I have no confir
mation of the report that President
Marroquin has resigned , but if it
were trne the obligations of Colum
bia to the United States under the
pending treaty negotiotions would
not be affected , "
San Domingo News Not Satisfactory
Washington , May , 12 Orders were
issued today for the Nashville to pro
ceed south to relieve the Atlanta ,
which for some time has been watch
ing American interests In San Domin
go The Olympic.already has started
Do relieve the San Francisco in Cuban
waters. The latter vessel will make
i tour of inspection through the Wests
[ ndies before starting for the Euro
pean station.
Strike Begins in Denver.
Denver , Col. , May 13 Efforts to
i vert the threatened general strike of
iifferent trades have been fruitles ? ,
md it is expected that strikes will
> egin that will involve 15,000men. .
U midnight the joint executive com-
nittee of organized labor rejuulqd
he proposition of the citizensalii -
.nce , for a permanent board of arbr-
ration , declaring their belief that'it
? as not made in good faith but- \ ih
imply to gain time.
EVOLVED A DRAWING ROOM.
Cons in-In-Law Makes Some Cbaages
in the Apartments of Her Relative-
My cousin-in-law , Clara , has don
much for us in the ebort time sbo
has been with us. For one thing , she
has given us a drawing-room. This la
the apartment which was formerly
the parlor. The furnishings of mis
room are not costly. To be vulgarly
confidential , a reference to the re
minders sent out by the installment
linn of Avenue A whose cleverly
worded announcements you may have
noticed in the elevated cars shows
that it was a $27.50 parlor.
Now , however. It Is a drawing-room
which is a source of much gentla
joy to all of us. Clara said "drawing-
room" the very first day she came ta
us. When one of the family spoke o
going Into the "parlor" Clara regard
ed that one with an air of well-bred
reproach that was more effective than
argument. And so , one by one , we all
fell into the use of the smarter term.
I do not think the maid approved
of this revision of title. Bythe way ,
we had been calling our serving
woman "the girl , " but Clara's advent
changed all that , and she Is now
known , and properly known , as "thq
maid. " As I said , ,1 , do not think sha
looked kindly upon the change In.
designation. In fact , I am sure sha
did not. She made believe to misun
derstand and peered ostentatiously
around the room for easels and palettes
and maulsticks , and when questioned
said she was looking for "them drawIng -
Ing things" Miss Clara said was la
there.
The maid listened politely when
Clara suggested the use of "drawing-
room" as a term , vice "parlor , " re
tired. She seemed to understand per
fectly , but she never applied her un
derstanding , taking an obviously keen
though repressed delight In spouklng
of the "parlor. "
Of nourse this could not go on. Tha
upshot of it was that one afternoon
when all the rest of the family were
enjoying the matinee , Clara stayed
home , she and the maid being tin
only occupants of the apartment.
We shall never know just what hap *
pened that afternoon , but when wa
came home the maid said "drawing-
room" six times In five minutes. Clara
made a well-bred effort to conceal hel
triumph.
I could not understand the capitulaT
tion until next day I met the maid on
the stairs it being her afternoon oni
gorgeously head-dressed in one ot
Clara's most fetching hats. It was a
very costly hat , as I happen to know ,
but Clara doubtless felt that the prlct.
she paid was none too high.
; : Gets Car Seats
for Many Women ,
He was a little old man with a "left
over from last year" appearance , bu }
when the crowd of shoppers entered
the Sixth avenue elevated at Twenty *
third street the female contingent ot
strap-hangers found they had an enen
getic friend. He wore an old silk hat
and a bright pink rose fastened in th
buttonhole of his shiny frock coat
There was a look of amiability in hi |
gray eyes which did not find its inspira.
tion .solely with an evident acquaint
ance with the flowing bowl.
A row of men characteristicallj
oblivious to the line of feminine man
ionettes dangling back and forth ii
front of them occupied the seats. Tin
defender of the fair sex promptly ares <
and with a courtly bow offered his sea )
to an elderly woman , who , lurchinj
madly back and forth , wns vainly en.
ieavoring to keepjpossesslon of a num.
ber of bundles she carried. Then th (
entertainment began.
"Sure , and it's a pleasure , ma'am , '
the little man replied to the woman'4
thanks.
"It's no more than any gentlemaj
nrould do. "
He eyed the apparently unconsciouj
row of men before him with an exprea
sion that raised a laugh In his cornej
of the car , and by gobd-natured guying
be made them , one at a time , give m
bis seat to a woman. One man hel
: > ut a long time , but finally relinquished
bis seat. i
"Good boy , good boy , " cried the llttl |
man joyously. "Now , we're all right
[ 've gone clear past my station , but 1
svas bound to see you give up that seat
When a man smiles , though , I knoTi
lie's got a soul. Good-by to ye all. I cai
ilways get along -with the ladles , buf
snce in a while 1 have trouble , "with , t
man. You see , I'm married and I bavt
JeeTiwelj Jrainedj I'm glad you're al
comfortable. Now , donH worry. J
cvon't get off till the train stops. "
The little , old man , with his good-na
: ured smile , his pink rose , and silk hat
massed out into the darknessL Chlcagi
Tribune.
A Mere Myth.
"Welcome , " cried a voice , as Chan
> n's boat grounded on the trans
atygian beach.
"Who are you ? " Inquired the newlj
irrived shade. 'I can't see you at alL *
"No wonder , " replied the voice. " 1
lever had even a ghost of a chance t
ixist. " I'm the man under the be
that the old maids are still lookin |
: or. " Philadelphia Press.
Large Cork Pine.
A cork pine tree measuring seveg
'eet In diameter was recently fellei
n Turner , Mich. Seven 16-foot logj
vere cut below the first limb , the lasj
jeing 27 inches in diameter. Two In
Han tomahawks were found buried it
: he second log from the bottom.
When a woman Is tough , she ca *
nake a man ashamed of himself.
