tTQPICS 01 THE TIMES.
A - _ _ _ -
-A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTERESTING -
ESTING ITEMS.
'Comments and Criticisms Based Upon
thi Happenings of the Day Histori
cal and Netrs Noteu.
' Central Amer-
Don't fall to inspect
' lea's show windows for the latest
" styles in revolutions.
. J\asengni is now : i chevalier of the
'Order of Savoy. Is this anything that
< jan"'De used as collateral ?
; Well , well , they are going to drive
% -the Turk out of Europe again. This
Is positively worse than the Patti fare
well.
rtiu ! i deputies will be loath to
fiun < 6mU'i- one of their most prized
privileges.tiiMt of slapping an oppo
nent's face in the chamber.
/
Now comes the news that the Chinese -
i\ nese fro S01' Empress has started a
if pailcr in Pokin"It < s Imrd to 1eep a
dowatrer like that iu her coflin.
In melancholy moments a fellow
r.ometimes gets to wonderiu g what
people would say if he should whip
the preacher who married him.
' Madam Yale pays that ugliness is
s'.n. We are eating four kinds of
breakfast food and wiggling our ears
for physical exercise. There may be
hope.
The President is said to be a poor
fisherman. The slrenuosity that un
fits him for fishing , however , is prob
ably what makes him a successful
hunter.
" " kind hearts are
"Kind words , like ,
more than coronets , but you can't buy
a gallon of kerosene with them. The
Rockefellers , father and son , give the
country a pain.
At last accounts Mr. Rockefeller had
not written a check for $1,000,000 in
payment of a bill for a new stomach.
Perhaps the new stomach factories
are behind with their orders.
' Rubiuo gets a life sentence for miss
ing1 the King of Belgium three times.
We shudder to contemplate what
might have been his deserts had he
fired a few more shots In the same
place.
A Montana suicide took morphine ,
, strychnine and cocaine. He should
then have jumped into a river and
shot himself during the descent. There
is nothing like making sure about
these matters.
The segregation of the sexes at Chicago
cage University is said to have result
ed in "a frowsier lot of students. " It
Is possible , however , that Professor
Triggs has merely been making the
students' hair stand on end by some
new remarks.
The statement of a Russian artiller
ist that yellow spectacles enable gun
ners to make bigger scores may lead to
.the discovery that the reporters for the
sensational papers wear glasses of this
hue ; for they manage to see so many
things not evident to the naked eye.
The London Lancet has issued a
solemn warning against the insidious
American quick lunch , which threat
ens to invade the British metropolis.
There seems to be a fear that our
quick lunch will finish what stomach
the railway buffet has left the op
pressed Britisher.
The late Archbishop of Canterbury
lost his father when he was a boy ,
and supported himself from the age of
17. Talking to a company of workingmen -
men , he described the privations he
had known. To be unable to afford a
fire and to be cold , days and nights ,
was a part of his experience. Patched
clothes and patched shoes were famil
iar acquaintances. Adverse circum
stances did not conquer him. The rea
son is suggested by the remark , "I
could plow as straight a furrow as any
man in the parish. " He was a hard
worker until he was stricken with
death. The struggling , toiling boy was
father of the man.
Let us hope that Germany has ad
vanced in liberalism and has develop
ed a deeper longing for free institu
tions since Bismarck's day. It has a
broader conception of individual inde
pendence and duty and a more general
knowledge of our own political maxims
and institutions. Its masses are learn
ing that government was instituted for
the benefit of the people , not pampered
and polluted princes and war lords ,
and that when it falls in the objects
for which it was instituted it becomes
a worthless and costly incubus and its
form should be changed. The princi
ples of Thomas Jefferson are ferment
ing everywhere o.nd will ultimately fill
the world with republics , not with des
potisms.
The Engineering News has been in
vestigating the patented preparations
that are allegcft to make fuel last
longer or give out more heat , and it
finds that one specific , sold at eighty
cents a pound , is composed chiefiy of
common salt , and all the ingredients
cost a little more than a cent a pound.
Apropos of another , which Is claimed
to assist combustion by supplying free
oxygen to the fire , the News Suggests
that the best supply of oxygen Is to be
fpund in the atmosphere , and estimates
that twenty-seven hundred pounds of
the patented compound would have to
be shoveled into the furnace with
every ton of coal to take the place of
a proper draft of air. One might sum
up the results of the inquiry by say-
ing that good drafts will make lively
fires , good fires will give out sufficient
heat , and good sense is the surest fuel
saver although , to be sure , one can
not buy it for anything like eighty
cents a pound.
Mississippi , the State which furnish
ed a head for the Confederate govern
ment and was the second to join in the
movement for secession , has recently
built In fact , has just completed a
new capitol. The State Secretary mark
ed the occasion by sending to Mr. Rob
ert T. Lincoln a letter which shows ,
perhaps , as plainly as anything which
has ever been written , the attitude
of the new South : "We of the South
now realize the greatness and goodness
of the character of Abraham Lincoln ,
and would honor his memory. Nothing
that we could do would add to his
fame. We can , however , show our re
spect and love for him. Permit me ,
therefore , in the name of the State , to
Invite you to place a portrait of Presi
dent Lincoln in the new capitol of Mis
sissippi , that it may symbolize his love
for his country , his devotion to duty ,
and his heartfelt sympathy for the
Southern people. " Every such inci
dent as this meets , as it merits , a warm
response from the hearts of Northern
people , and strengthens the bond of
sympathy and good understanding be
tween all parts of the country.
Sir Edward Clarke recently created
a commotion in English literary circles
by asserting that there has been a
steady decline in the art of fiction writ
ing since the days of Dickens. Mr ]
Gosse promptly rallied to the defens
of the contemporary novelists , where !
upon Mr. Birrell attacked Mr. Gossj
all in the columns of the staid Lou }
don Times. Others took sides , an < 3
altogether the smoke of battle had
risen high enough to become a mattefl
of cable news. An American physl-j
cian has recently written a book on ,
dyspepsia in which he enumerate
among the sure symptoms of that dis
ease the victim's confirmed belief thatj
no book worth reading has appeared
since he was a boy. It might be well
to send Sir Edward Clarke a copy of
"How Can I Cure My Indigestion ?
His view of literature is a case for the
doctors rather than for the critics. It
is hard to see how any thoughtful
reader can be insensible to tbe fact
that English and American fiction is
improving and not deteriorating. The
mere fact that the year 1902 produced
no great novel should not obscure the
fact. ' As Bliss Perry , the editor of
The Atlantic , says in his illuminating
"Study of Prose Fiction , " novel writ
ing is the great modern art , and the
novel fills an ever increasing place in
the life of the civilized nations. The
mere fact that it does so is proof that
it is a better reflex of life than it was
even a generation ago. It can also be
demonstrated that the novelists have
improved in the technic of their art.
Mr. Alden , the London correspondent ,
makes a poor defense of a valid cause
when he says that readers to-day pre
fer Stevenson to Dickens and Mere
dith to Thackeray. He is wrong. No
single author of our time has yet equal
ed Dickens , Scott or Thackeray , and
it is foolish to pretend that they have.
But it is equally foolish to deny that
the average fiction of to-day is far su
perior , both in artistic construction
and in human versimilitude , to the av
erage fiction of fifty years ago.
A RIP-ROARING TIME.
Jim Cutler and His Wife En Route
to the Circus.
There was a circus in Greenville , S.
C. , the day I rode out of town , and
for several miles along the road I met
people in wagons or on foot who were
going in to see the show. Among those
on foot were two old people man and
wife belonging to the "cracker" class ,
and as I halted to give them good-day
the old man inquiredi
"Stranger , did yo' see anything of
that circus in town ? "
"I saw something of the procession , "
I replied. "It was parading the streets
as I left. "
"Was thar an elephant in that pro
cession ? "
"I think there was. Yes , I'm sure
of it. "
"Was he a bustin' big feller ? "
"Pretty good size. Yes. "
"As big as that hill oVer yan ? "
"Oh , no. "
"As big as that barn ? "
"No. He was simply an ordinary ,
full-grown elephant. "
"But big enough to give a feller a
tussle , eh ? " continued the man.
"He's all of that , but you don't think
of tussling with him , do you ? ' '
"That's jest what I do , suh. Mary
and me has set out fur Greenville to
see the circus and hev a rip-roarin' old
day of it. I'm gwine to walk right up
to that yere' elephant and grab him by j
his tusks and flop him on his back ,
1
and Mary's gwine to jump into the cir
cus ring and do more standin' on her
head and flip-floppin' around than all
the flipfloppers put together. Mary ,
turn a cart-wheel fur the stranger. "
The woman stepped back and did
the trick very fairly , and as she
straightened up Avith a smile on her
face the old man proudly said :
"She kin keep it up fur half a mile ,
suh , and with my tloppiu' that elephant
on his baflc and Mary turnln' cart
wheels around the ring , we'll wake up
things and let the town of Greenville
know that old Jim Cutler and his wife
ar' still on hand and haven't lost any
of their taste fur coon meat. "
Arctic Explorations a Sport.
A German geographei ; complains thai
north pole exploration is in danger of
degenerating into a sport , in which the
establishment of "records" is , the main
thing.
Would you sleep in a haunted kouse
one night for S500 ?
" *
< -
NOT MUCH FOR SHOW.
House Allows $35,000 For St. Louis Exposi
tion Elevator Bill at Last.
Lincoln , Neb , , March 31. Measures
of great inteiest were disposed of in
the legislature Monday. The house
reduced the appropriation for the St.
Louis exposition from $75,000 to $35-
000 , refused to concur in the senate
amendments to the general revenue
bill and appointed Messrs. Douglas ,
Tuomp-t n and Morsman as a confer
ence committee. Governor Mickey
sent a special bill to the house for
the purpose of enabling counties to
collect delinquent taxes by the sale
of property for taxes.
The senate has not yet appointed
a conference committee to consider
the revenue bill. It is probable that
the joint conference will recommend
that the maximum state levy remain
at 7 mills as determined by tbe house ,
instead of 5 mills as called for by the
senate amendment.
The senate did a bi # day's work in
one short afternoon. It approved the
Ramsey plevator bill in committee
of the whole , passed a bill appropri
ating $100,000 for the rebuilding of
the Norfolk asylum and in committee
of the whole approved an appropri
ation of $100,000 for improvements at
the agricultural college. Much to
the surprise of every one tbe univer
sity authorities asked that the
amount he taken fiom the one mill
levy that goes to the university. The
bill was amended accordingly. The
taking of this money from tbe fund
raised by taxation instead of from
the general fund of the state will
probably consume the entire fund
and the governor will not recommend
a decrease in the levy. It will delay
the construcion of buildings at the
college farm one year. At tbe end
of the two years if the one mill levy
under the new revenue law proves ex
cessive it can be reduced.
The house spent a large portion of
its session yesterday in the consider
ation of the St. Louis exposition ap
propriation. The bill for this ap
propriation as introduced by Mr.
Rouse carried a $75,000 grant from the
state. Tbe house after declining too
indefinitely postpone the measure
first voted down a proposition to ap
propriate $25,000 and then voted
down a proposition to appropriate
$50,000. The sum of $35,000 was tben
agreed to. On roll call on a proposi
tion not to agree to this sum but to
postpone the bill , 25 voted aye and 49
voted no. A number of members de
clined to vote who will te placed on
record on the final passage of the
measure
The house declined to amend a bill
providing for strict examinations of
applicants for doctor's cerificates. A
proposition to exempt from examina
tion those graduates from state col
leges who have matriculated under
the present law , was killed. The
amendment was championed by
Douglas of Rock county and was
quite vigorously opposed by the phy
sicians on the floor of the house.
The house appointed a conference
committee on the senate amendments
to the revenue bill. Speaker Mockett
naming Douglas of Rock , Thompson ,
of Merrick and Morsman , of Douglas
on his committee. The senate will
appoint three members of the revenue
committee for this purpose when the
request is made for a conference to
day.
Husband is Shot Dead.
New York , March 31. Filled with
jealous anger at finding another man
being entertained by his wife this
afternoon , William J. Peppier , of
East One-Hundred and Nineteenth
street threw the visitor oiu into the
hall , fought him from the third floor
to the front door of the apartment
house in which he lived , with the
wife screaming and weeping at their
heels , and was there shot dead by the
man who he thought bad wronged
" " "
him. "
This man was William "Earl Dobson ,
a cashier in a stock-broker's office.
He fled and the police have sent out
a general alarm for him. Peppier
was about twenty-six years old and a
clerk. He had not been married
long.
After being revived Mrs. Peppier ,
who had fainted , said that she and
Dobson were together when her hus
band returned unexpectedly from
work and a fight followed , resulting
in Dobson being thrown out of the
room and pursued down stairs by her
husband. In the lower hall the men
clinched again and Dobson fired one
shot. After that the woman remem
bered nothing , for she fainted.
Dobson issairl to be a married man
with a wife and two children living
" " " " " "
Umewbere4n North Carolina.
. Kentucky rimers Hay Strike.
Louisville. Ivy. , March31. The re
presentatives of operators and miners
of western Kentucky , who spent
nearly all of last week in an attempt
bo settle the wage question for the
Doming year , resumed the conference
today. The miners' wage scale ex
pires at midnight tomorrow. If thel
io'nt ' committees fail to reach a set- |
dement the miners say they willj
strike for an increase of 14 per cent , j
jut the operators are not willing to
concede this much.
KEEP ON HANGING
SENATE DECLINES TO ABOLISH THE
DEATH PENALTY.
BILL FOR NORMAL PASSES
IT [ GOES THROUGH THE HOUSE VERY
EASILY
PASS APPROPRIATION BILL
Two Big Appropriation Bills Pass the House-
Second Pure Food Bill Passes the
Senate.
Lincoln , Neb. , April 1. They may
keep right on "hangin' men and
women' ' in Nebraska so far as the
state senate is concerned , but after
all they do not hang many men and
no woman was ever hanged in the
state. Senator Wall's bill for the
abolition of ihe death penalty was
indefinitely postponed in the senate
after a lengthy discussi n. The pres
ent law permits a jury to determine
whether the punishment for murder
in the lirst degree shall be imprison
ment for life or the death penalty.
Governor Mickey , who declined to
interfere with the execution of Neig-
enfind , the double murderer of Pierce
county , was present during most of
the argument. No count was made ,
but a roll call would have shown
twenty-two in favor of the present
law and twelve in favor of abolish
ing the gallows.
The joint conference committee on
the general revenue law agreed on
the most of the senate amendments ,
including a limit of 5 mills for a state
tax , but the report was not presented
to either house.
The senate passed the second pure
food bill , S. F. 85.
In the house the salary appropria
tion bill , carrying $995,000 , was
passed , also the current expense bill ,
carrying $1,800,00 for the continuance
of state institutions. H. R. No. 1 ,
for the location of a new state nor
mal school in ihe western parb of the
state , went through with only four
teen votes against it. A bill prohib
iting trap shooting was also passed
by the ho'use.
The joint revenue conference com
mittee held a session yesterday and
easily came to an agreement. The
important amendments of the senate
were allowed to stand. The reduc
tion of the general levy is one of these
which will go through. In only four
minor places was there a change of
importance. Th house would have
concured in the report had it been
, certain that the amendments pro
posed by the committee were printed
before the vote was taken.
One word in the section affecting
franchise coiporations was stricken
from the till which neither the house
nor senate had taken out and this
was regarded by some of the lawyers
members as an original amendment.
[ Representatives of the franchise cor
porations were on hand watching the
procedure and assert that ground has
been left for attacking this section of
the bill a roll call was stopped to per-
.mit printing tbe amendments ,
j C. M. Kigg , acting for the Omaha
Street Railway coinpanv , made a de
mand on tbe clerk of the house last
evening that the record show that
the roll call was begun and stopped
to permit other business to be trans
acted. It is likely that the matter
will be called up today for correction
unless the records show the interrup
tion at least Mr. Rigg said he would
'have the correction made from the
floor of the house today. Clerk Bar
nard made'up the record to show that
Mr. Barnard moved to concur in the
senate amendments and that Mr.
Douglas next moved to defer action
pending the printing of the amend
ments , no reference being made to
roll call.
The senate members of the con
ference committee are Brown , Pern-
berton and Anderson. Those of the
house are Douglas , Thompson and
Morsman.
The big appropriation bill passed
in the house yesterday. H. R. 374
the salaries bill , carrying an appro
priation of $995,000 received but one
negative vote. H. R. No. 446 , "the
current expenses hill , cyrryng an ap
propriation of $1,800.000 passed by a
vote of 72 to 8. Tne house put in
the entire day passing bills. The
senate bill No. 31 by Pemberton pro
viding for legalizing the new Cobbey
st-itutes , passed as aid Senator Shel
don's bill No.5 , providing for the ex
amination of applicants for license to
practice medicine by board of physi
cians of their own school.
Miss Gould Cannot Attend.
St. Louis , April 1. Illness will
prevent Helen Miller Gould from at
tending the World's fair dedication
ceremonies in St. Louis April 30.
She had planned to ' : ome to St.Louis
at that time and to bring a party of
guests with her , but at the direction
of her physician she has cancelled
the arrangements for the trip , so a
letter received here today announces.
Miss Gould is a member of the
World's fair board of lady man
agers.
OLD-
t ;
FAVORITES 4- *
Brightest and Best.
Brightest and best of tbe sons of ( he
morning.
Dawn on our darkness and. lend us
thine aid.
Star of the east , the horizon adorning.
Guide where our Infant Redeemer is
laid.
Cold on his cradle the dewdrops are
shining ,
Low lies Ills head with the beasts of
the stall ;
Angels adore him in slumber reclining ,
Maker and Monarch and Savior of all !
Say , shall we yield him , in costly devo
tion ,
Odors of Edom and offerings divine ?
Gems of the mountain and pearls of the
ocean ,
Myrrh from the forest , or gold from
the mine ?
Vainly we offer each ample oblation ;
Vainly with gifts would his favor
secure ;
Richer by far is the heart's adoration ;
Dearer to God are the prayers of the
poor.
Brightest and best of the sons of the
morning.
Dawn on onr darkness and lend us
thine aid.
Star of the east , the horizon adorning ,
Guide where our Infant Redeemer is
laid.
Reginald Heber.
Dixie's Land.
Away down South in de fields of cotton ,
Cinnamon seed and sandy bottom ;
Look away , look away ,
Look away , look away.
Den 'way down South in de fields of
cotton ,
Vinegar shoes and paper stockings ;
Look away , look away.
Look away , look away.
Den I wish I was in Dixie's land ,
Oh oh ! Oh oh !
In Dixie's land I'll take my stand ,
A.nd live and die in Dixie's land ,
Away , away , away ,
Away down South in Dixie.
Pork and cabbage in de pot ,
It goes in cold and comes out hot ;
Look away , look away ,
Look away , look away.
Vinegar put right on red beet ,
It makes them always fit to eat ;
Look away , look away ,
Look away , look away ,
Den I wish I was in Dixie's land ,
Oh oh ! Oh oh !
In Dixie's land I'll take my stand ,
And live and die in Dixie's land ,
Away , away , away ,
Away down South in Dixie.
WOMAN DOCTOR'S STORY.
Called Into a Tough Section in the
Dead of Night.
At a meeting of women physicians
in Philadelphia not long ago the after-
dinner speaking took the form of per
sonal experiences. One physician told
of her first and only fright. A rough-
looking man had come for her to visit
a patient in one of the worst quarters
of the city. It was past midnight , and
the doctor told the man that he need
not wait ; she would go as soon as
possible , meaning to call a cab. But
when the doctor reached her door the
man was waiting for her outside , and
insisted upon escorting her.
I found it difficult to get rid of him ,
she said , and so walked on with him.
I soon decided that it would be better
not to offend my tough-looking escort
by taking a cab and going alone , and
I dared not ride with him ; so I walked
the whole way.
I found my patient in a dangerous
condition , and the squalid room where
she lay was occupied by ten or more
other persons. I said they must go
out , ana all left save one burly negro ,
who declared that he would not go
out in the cold. I insisted , however ,
and the other lodgers forced him to
leave.
It was an hour or more before I was
ready to take my departure , and then
I planned to walk up to 8th street and
take a car. My former escort offered
to go with me , but I declined his offer
and set off alone. I had not gone a
block before I discovered that the big ,
surly negro , whom I had driven from
the sick-room , was following me. I
walked steadily on , but my heart beat
faster than ever before in my life. I
hadn't a doubt that he meant mis
chief.
I missed the car I meant to take , and
I knew that at that hour of the ivight
it would be a long time before anotner
would come along ; so I hurried on ,
hearing those pursuing footsteps just
behind me. At every shadowy place
I expected an attack. In fancy I felt
the man's breath on my face and the
grasp of his ugly hand on my shoul
der. How I longed to see a police
man , but no one was in sight. So I
wanted on and on to my own door ,
and when I was within its shelter I
was too overcome to stand.
The next morning I went back to see
my patient , and was received like a
princess. It then came out that the
negro had followed me to ; see that I
reached home in safety ; and it further
transpired that two men physicians
had refused to go to the patient the
night before because of the dangerous
character of the neighborhood. A mur
der had been committed there the pre
vious week.
BREAKFAST FOR ONE.
There Is No Accounting for the Wis
dom of the Woodchuck.
That keen observer of nature , John
Muir , tells in "Our National Parks" a
pretty story of a woodchuck. In the
spring of 1875 he was exploring the
peaks and glaciers about the head oi
the middle fork of the San Joaquln ,
and when passing round a frozen lake
where the snow was ten feet deep ,
was surprised to find the fresh track
of a woodchuck.
What could the animal be thinking
of to come out so early while all the
ground was snow-buried ? The steadj
direction of his track showed he had
a delinite aim , and fortunately it was
toward a mountain thirteen thousand
feet high that I meant to climb. So J
followed to see If I could find out what
he was up to.
From the base of the mountain the
track pointed straight up , and I knew
by the melting snow that I was not
far behind him. I lost the track on a
crumbling ridge partly projecting
through the snow , but soon discovered
it again.
Toward the summit of the mountain ,
in an open spot on the south side , near
ly enclosed by disintegrating pinnacles
among which the sun heat reverber
ated , making a isolated patch of warm
climate , I found a fine garden , full oi
rock cress , phlox , silene , draba , and a
few grasses ; and in this garden I over
took the wanderer , enjoying a fine
fresh meal , perhaps the first of the
season.
How did he know the way to this
one garden spot , so high and so far off ,
and what told him that it was in
bloom while yet the snow was ten feet
deep over his den ? He must have had
more botanical , topographical and climatological -
matological knowledge than mos/
mountaineers possess.
CREDULITY OF THE HINDU.
Sample of the Delusions "Which IL
Occasionally Harbors.
Here is a remarkable instance of th <
credulity of the Hindu , and the wild
kind of delusions which he occasion
ally harbors. The writer is described
as a Hindu gentleman of standing and
reputation , and this extract is taken
from a letter written to a gentleman in
England :
"We are having awfully serious newa
circulated in the papers here. Extracts
purported to be from the Morning
Leader , of London , and La Bon Guon-
dia of Spain , impress us that the emperor -
peror on the coronation day was dan
gerously ill , and was never really
crowned , for the ministers caused him
to be personated by a beggar of White *
chapel. We are really very concerned
to hear it , and we firmly believe the
news to be a false creation , but won
der why the government is still inae- ,
tive as regard to taking any steps ta
punish the author of so foul a calumny.1
The gentleman who sends pie the
above extract gives some other quaint
examples of the amusing fictions whKi ?
gain currency among the natives oi
India , says a writer in London Truth. '
The bigger and the more preposterous
the lie , he says , the more readily it la
believed. When the Jubilee bridge ovei
the Hooghly was being built , the story
got about that the government required
a thousand heads of natives for the
foundations of the bridge , and had
given orders that all natives walking
over the maidan after dark were to be
seized , and taken to the "Shaiian
Khana" the native name name for the
Masonic lodge where their heads were
to be cut off for use in this uncanny en
gineering operation. The natives , It is
said , were afraid to walk in that direc
tion after dark for this reason. Again ,
at the time of the last Indian frontier
war , a fat Babu clerk disappeared from
one of the government offices and cowld
not be found. It was firmly believed ,
says my correspondent , by his fellavr-
clerks and neighbors , that he had bcea
seized by order of the government , to
be made into ointment for the benefit oi
the wounded soldiers. Happily , tfee fal
Babu turned up again safe and sou dj
so no serious consequences resulted
from this delusion. If an idea like tfeij
can be seriously accepted , as my imj
fonnant says it was , by the class ef naj
tives who pass examinations and klq
public appointments , nothing that aaajj
find acceptance with the "lower orders"
can be wondered at
So Sisterly.
"Did he really and truly say tfca\
he loved you ? "
"Well , I should think he did. H
swore it in four different languages. *
"Dear me , can he swear in four lan
guages ? He talks so dreadfully in eae.
Well , I'm glad to know it. "
"What do you mean by that ? "
" "Why , I was just telling Mame ACc-
Geachey that I didn't believe he had
a talent of any kind. And it remain
ed for you to discover his only one ;
How proud you must be. "
"Of course , you only say that be
cause you didn't catch him. Bat h
saw through your tricks. "
"He couldn't see through anything !
He isn't bright enough. "
"You're a minx ! "
"You're a lady ! " Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mr. Spurjjeon's Compliment.
"Do you know , dear , " the late Mn
Spurgeon once said to his wife , be
tween the puffs of his cigar , "I some
times wish I "had never married you. "
"Why do you wish that ? " Mrs. Spur-
geon asked , in alarm.
"Because , my dear , " came the Hat-
teriug answer , "it would be so nice
to have the courting days over again. "
Not that Kind of a Boy.
"Little boy , do you read these cheaB
and demoralizing works of fiction ? "
"Me , ma'am ? Assuredly not. Just
now I'm reading Emerson and Spencert
ma'am. If I ever have any of those
cheap stories , ma'am , I always gives
'em to me little brother. " Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Pumps Blood Fast.
All the blood in a man's body passes
through his heart once Ju everj tw
minutes.
