I
THE VALENTINE DEMOCRAT
I. 51 RICE , Pub Micr.
'
TALENT1NE , - NEBRASKA
The man "thai beat the rtisslan corK
trust was a corker.
.At last accounts Mr. Rockefeller
worrying along -with the same poor old
stomach.
When a man is complimented he
thinks others are beginning to see him
as he sees himself.
The suggestion that the cigar trust
will be beaten by refusal of the public
to buy cigars sounds suspiciously like
a pipe dream.
v Herr Behel says that the United
States is destined to outstrip all Eu
rope in the size of its * armaments.
Heaven forbid !
Lieutenant Peary also believes that
life began at the north pole , and if any
one will put up the money he will try
to find the proofs.
A Southern railroad has decided that
hereafter it will employ married men
only. Anxious and yearning Yankee
spinsters are consulting time-tables.
Admiral Dewey believes that the
American navy was never so ably pre
pared for war as at the present. This
being the case , there is no reason why
we should not have peace.
The beef eater is the world con
queror. Do we discern in this horse
meat factory project from Germany a
plot of the Kaiser's to undermine the
foundations of our national greatness ?
The Mayor of San Juan , Porto Rico ,
has been arrested for malfeasance. Was
this something carried over from the
Spanish regime , or is it the result of
an indiscreet application of American
municipal "politics ? "
The army of the Sultan of Morocco
is armed with flintlocks and muzzle
loaders , and his people believe that the
devil invented the cannon. How can
"civilization be expected to flourish in
such a pitiful country as that ?
A Yale professor claims to have dis
covered that all life originated at the
north pole and that man came from
the primates through fire. This of
course happened long before the coal
combinations got to doing business.
Kipling is reported as saying that the
reason he does not visit the United
States is that some of his wife's rela
tives are still living here. This remark ,
if true , would stamp him not only as
the poet of force , but as the possessor
of .an immense and most unpleasant
grouch.
Proof' is again afforded of the benefi
cent -wisdom of nature. * A professor in
the University of Michigan has discov
ered that the hearing of 'girls is more
acute than that of boys. This greater
sensitiveness doubtless exists that the
faintest whisper of the fateful question
may not escape the listening ear.
: One hundred and fifty busts of
Washington were put in the public
schools of New York City last year
by a citizen who believed that the pa
triotism of the children would be fostered -
tered by a daily reminder of the ex
ample of the first President. A simi
lar number of busts of Lincoln are to
be put in fhe same schools this year ,
to show the youth that patriotism did
not die with Washington. There may
be some schools In other parts of the
country which could not accommodate
a sculptured bust , but there is none so
small that it may not find a place for
pictures of Lincoln and Washington.
Farming is much like any other
business. Success in it depends chief
ly on the man. There are a great
many farms within a hundred miles
of New York City owners of which
would be glad to turn their backs on
themtand live in the town ; but the
owner of one farm of eighty acres at
the eastern end of Long Island is con
tent , 'lie raises more than twenty
thousand dollars' worth of vegetables
every year , at a cost of about ten
thousand dollars for labor and fertil
izers , leaving a good balance to pay
for his own supervision. This is an-
exceptional case , but it is interesting , ,
because what one man''can do a hun
dred miles away from his chief mar
ket can be done by others.
Julia Ward Howe admits , in re
sponse to a question , that gaming for
money has increased in high society ,
especially among American women.
Were a question about drinking to ex
cess added to that about playing cards
for gain Mrs. Howe would have to ac
knowledge that intemperance is in
creasing in the plane where there is
least conceivable excuse for it. It
were deplorable fpr the future of
womankind if with rapidly enlarging
vistas of education and possible
achievement the women of the United
States should fail to resist vulgar and
debasing temptations. To poor effect
are women's schools all over the lan'd
doing their liberal and progressive
work if women aid In introducing into
this country the brutal'pastimes which
made English courts of former times
spectacles of ignorance , 'scandalous
revels and unblushing indecorum of
every species. The woman who be-
comesa drunkard and a gamester rare
ly fails 4o fail at last'io the bottom
-of the pit whence men easily recover
-themselves but where a. w man , onee
P recognized there , must remain. Tht
law is unequal , but it is the law.
Prof. Judson , the dean 6f the Chicago
cage University , says "a. universal lan
guage , as well as common - monetary
systems and united standard ol
weights and measures , is one' of the
pressing needs of the world to-day. "
So it is. If all men had the same lan
guage , the" same standards of right
and wrong , and the same intuitions
and religion , the world would get along
more peacefully than it does. The uses
of a universal language , ought to be
apparent to American manufacturers
who are endeavoring to sell their goods
in fgreign markets. If there were such
a language it would be much easier for
them to get competent agents to rep
resent them abroad than it is now.
If one man wishes to represent his em
ployers to the best advantage In many
countries he .must learn several lan
guages. Americans , , says Prof. , Jud
son , are not "polyglots by nature , " aa
Europeans are , and hence are at a dis
advantage when they traverse the
earth on business errands. Latin was
the universal language of scholars once
and still is of the Catholic priesthood ,
but it will not do for business uses.
Languages have been manufactured
for common use. Volapuk had quite a
vogue at one time. None.of the arti
ficial languages has struck root. The
world's need of a common tongue is
unsatisfied as yet , and promises long
-to remain so. It is the unspoken feel
ing of Americans , a feeling which Eng
lishmen shar4e , that their common lan
guage ought to be and perhaps will be
the universal language. The men who
use it are fully convinced of its supe
riority. They admit that English is
not so mellifluous as Italian , and that
in some respects German surpasses it ,
but they feel assured that , all things
considered , it is the best language man
has devised. It is "the speech of most
of the people of this continent and of
the Australians. It is to be the dom
inant language of South Africa. Un
questionably the rest of the world
should learn English and save Ameri
cans the trouble of learning an 4nnu-
merable number of strange tongues.
It cannot be denied that democracy
is gaining ground throughout th6
earth , when while the son and the
daughter of the oldest royal house in
Europe are disgraced wanderers , with
none to do them reverence , a woman
of republican birth , the daughter of a
Chicago dry goods merchant , form
the center in a great pageant in th
famous city of Delhi that beggan
even Oriental splendors of the past
Important a personage in the grea
durbar as the viceroy is , he is still out
shone by his lady , who not so very
long ago was plain Mary Leiter , ex
traordinary rich , but not particularly
remarkable for accomplishments
graces , or beauty. The people of thi
country need not judge the royal per
sonality through Prince Henry o
Prussia , the crown princess of Siam
and other royal dignitaries , who visi
this , country on dress parades , but we
may judge at closer range through
the women who have gone from
among us into the royal circles. Miss
Leiter was a worthy girl , but there
was never anything observable abou
her that should cause Jhe : people o :
India to bow down before her in rev
erence and awe. This country pos
sesses , even in the humbler grades of
life , innumerable women of better
qualities than she has ever shown her
self to possess. Thousands of Ameri
can homes are presided over by no
bler women than this one whom , the
people of India look up to with super
stitious awe. The close exclusiveness
with which reigning royalty hedges
itself about Is not without practical
purpose. A close view might pene
trate the thin veneer of pretense and
sham that makes royalty so awe-in
spiring. If the subjects had opportun
ity to see how commonplace and ofteri
degenerate are the little demi-gods
they set upon pedestals of supersti
tious reverence , , such affairs as the
great durbar would immediately
cease. The people of this country have
better opportunities to correctly judge
these royal personages , who by their
shallow pretense of greatness that
they are far from possessing , hold
sway over millions. And the more
Americans .know of royalty , the more
respect they feel for themselves.
Hazy About Holmes.
According to a distinguished after
dinner speaker who was telling stories
at a dinner in Sherry's , a certain West
erner who figures very largely in Wall
street read in the newspapers about
the appointment of Justice Holmes to
a. vacancy on the bench of the United
States Supreme Court.
"Who is this Judge Holmes ? " in <
quired the Westerner of an acquaint-
ince. "Is he a son of Sherlock
Holmes ? "
"No , " said the acquaintance. "Don't
pou know that Sherlock Holmes is not
i real character ? "
The Westerner was surprised , and
tils companion added :
"Judge Holmes is a son of Oliver
fVendell Holmes. "
"Who in thunder Is he ? I never
heard of him before , " said the West
erner. New York Times.
The Way of the World.
"What would you do if you were
rich ? "
"I'd buy what I wanted , first thing. "
"No ; that's where you're wrong. '
? ou'd buy no end of things you didn't
Erant and pretend you liked them. "
SVashington Times.
'Public Ovens in Japan.
In nearly every street in Japanese
ilties is a public oven , where for a
small fee housewives may hare theii
tinners and suppers cooked for them.
acncc
ME : A" " , .
nvention
A physician of Colombia has found a
ecoction of coffee husks to be effective
a malaria and other diseases where
, uinine had failed.
Every animal is said to have its own
tind of flea , sometimes several different
tlnds. Many thousand specimens of
these fleas have bueii gathered in the
Inique museum of Charles Rothschild ,
kept by Dr. Jo'rdan at Tring Park , the
fiant of this strange collection being a
nole flea a fifth of an inch long.
Living organisms have resumed their
( unctions after enduring the cold of
'iquid air for six months. It is suggest-
! d that the remarkable experiment
thould be continued for years or a gen-
iration , for our theories would be great
ly modified by an indefinite retaining of
ritality , and probability would be given
Lord Kelvin's speculation that life may
have reached the earth from space.
The first large vapor motor applieu
! o navigation is to be placed 'on the
Ishing boat of M. Eurile Altazin , not
icing built at Boulogne. The vessel ,
.vhich is ninety feet long and is design-
id to carry three hundred tons , will D
provided with a two-hundred-hors
power motor for operating nets. The
motors will use either gasoline or alco
hol , of which the tanks will contain
Hght thousand' gallons.
W. C. Marshall , of the Sheffield Scien
tific School at Yale , has invented a
pressure recorder which , when substi
tuted for the ordinary rowlock at the
&nd of the outriggers of a racing shell ,
measures and registers the pressure
exerted at every stroke of the oar. The
varying force of the strokes during a
long race can be ascertained , and it is
Intended to apply the machine in tne
Selection and training of the university
: rews.
By the Hubon process , black pigment
Is made by pumping acetylene into steel
jylinders to a pressure of about two at
nospheres , and then passing an electric
spark through the vessels , the gas beIng -
-Ing thus dissociated into its carbon and
aydrogen. The hydrogen is collected
for any convenient use ; the carbon is
* eady for the market. Acetylene black
Is free from the oily impurities of or
Binary lampblack , and the demand is
already so great that the first factory
now running in Switzerland is like
ly to be followed by others in other
countries. ,
The claim 'of Mount McKinley , the
culminating peak of the Alaskan rang ,
to be regarded as the loftiest point in
North America , is sustained by the re
port of an exploring party , made by one
of its members , A. H. Brooks. The
party made a journey of 800 miles on
foot in Alaska during the season just
passed. D. L. Reaburn , the topograph
er of the expedition , believes that the
measurements of mountain heights
nrhich were made have a probable erroi
not exceeding 100 feet. According to
those measurements , Mount McKin-
ley's elevation definitely exceeds 20,000
feet ; that of Mount Foraker is 17,000
feet.
feet.An
An Italian physicist , Signer Salvioni ,
has devised a microbalance of such ex
treme delicacy that it clearly demon
strates the loss of weight of musk by
volatilization. Thus the invisible per
fume floating off in the air is indirectly
weighed. The essential part of the ap
paratus is a very thin thread of glass ,
fixed at one end and extended horizon-
tally. The microscopic objects to be
weighed are placed upon the glass
thread near its free end , and the
amount of flexure produced is observed
with a microscope magnifying IOC
diameters. A mote weighing one-thou
sandth of a milligram perceptibly bends
the thread.
ODD EYE-GLASSES.
.I he eyeglasses herewith illustrated
nre the invention of a famous French
oculist Naturally all sorts of things
are claimed for them , 'but "those who
ought to know declare that they will
really correct astigmatism. They say ,
too , that the reflections of objects ic
the rear of the wearer , which are so
annoying , are entirely done away witt
by these new eyeglasses. Whether 01
not this be true , it is certain thai
many manufacturers are already com
ing around as close to the shape as
they dare. It must be conceded thai
these glasses attract attention to th
wearer , and for that reason alone thej
should be immensely popular with the
Four Hundred.
Roll Butter.
The young housekeeper who told tin
fishman that she wanted some eels
and when he asked her how much , rev
plied , "About two yards and a half , "
has a. rival in a woman mentioned in
the Chicago News :
"I wish to get some butter , please , "
she said to the dealer.
"Roll butter , ma'am ? " he asked , po
litely.
"No ; we wish to eat it on toast. We
seldom have rolls. "
The difficulty a man finds , in getting
some one to go his bond , a woman en-
: ounters when she wants some one to
take" her elnb.
Cynic at Work.
The concierge of a very badly kept
house in Pnris hung up at the foot of
{ he stairs a card inscribed as follows :
"Please wipe your feet on the mat. "
A wag wrote underneath : "As you
come out" Tit-Bits. i
Latest in Apartment Houses.
Shrewd New York business men who
are to erect a great apartment house
upon a conspicuous 5th avenue corner
propose to "solve the servant prob
lem" by providing hot and cold "lifts"
in which food and drink 'may be
whlsKed from a central kitchen to the
private dining rooms and separate ele
vator * for'waiters to serve and "clear
away" meata. Chambermaids and
.cleaners will keep everything in order , '
ted even valets and ladies' maids will
appear upon call for those who require
CASTOR i A
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the
Signature of
The late Dr. Parker , of London ,
was arguing with a man on the prob
lem of continued existence , and as
Mr. Parker was at the door the friend
finally declared : 'Tbe fact is , I am
an annihilationist. J believe that
when I die that will be the end of
me " "Thank God for that ! " exclaimed
%
claimed the doctor , and banged the
door.
IN ITS ADVANCED and chronic
form a cold in the head id known as
Nasal Catnrrh and is the recognized
source of other diseases. Having stood
tht test of continued successful use ,
Ely's Creain Balm is recognized as a
specific for m mbranal diseases in the
nasal passages. It is not drying , does
not produce sueuzin ? . Price 50 cents at
druggists or by mail. Ely Brothers , 56
Warren street , New York.
Give up prejudice and try it.
Messrs. ELY BROS. : I have been
afflicted with catarrh for twenty years.
It made me so weak I thought I had con
sumption. I got one bottle of Ely's Cream
Balm and in three days the discharge
stopped. It is the best medicine I have
used for catarrh.
FRANK E. KINDLESPIRE.
Proberta , Gal. "
A curious suit will soon be tried in
Anderson , Ind. To cure her brother
of a constant desire for intoxicants ,
Mrs. Laura G. Hosier secretly ad
ministered a drug ; with the result
that liquor is now disagreeable to
him. He has brought sujc for $5,000 ,
asserting that his sister las ? robbed
him of a great amount of pleasure hy
destroying his thirst.
Personally fitted dog blankets of
sealskin can now be had for $50 each
in N/ew York if made without hand
kerchief pockets.
ISTo , Cordelia , key rings are not
made by hammering on a piano.
.Heaven hasn't time to help the
man who is a victim of that tired
feeling. .
Sentences of some orators are so
carefully rounded off that they lack
point.
The Grand Eapids and Indiana
railway recently sent a vaccination
train along its line and no employe
escaped it.
> Jacobs Oil
Is the greatest remedy in the world for all bodily
Aches and Pains
for which an external remedy may be used.
Price , 25c. and SOc.
OU CM DO IT TOO
Over 2,000,000 people ara now buy
ing goods from ua at wholesale
prices saving 15 to 40 percent on every *
thins they use. You can do It too.
Why not ask ua to send you our 1,000-
page cataloguer it tells the atory. Send
15 cents for it today.
CHICAGO
The bouse that tells.the truth.
A certain Philadelphia cTergyrnan ,
who is very highly esteemed for bis
many good qualities , is noted for
preaching soporific sermons. His
congregation lately gave him a new
pulpit , a very ornate piece of furni
ture , and it bears this motto : "He
giveth his beloved sleep. "
The Kansas City Journal states
that "Things'seem to be sadly out of
proportion in Kansas. At the idiot
asylum one employee takes care of
nine idiots. At the penitentiary one
officers safely guards sixteen male
factors. But with the Kansas State
Senate it takes four gaurds or at
tendants to each inmate. " *
A Cure for Rheumatism.
Alharnbra , 111. , March 23. Physi
cians are much puzzled over the case
of Mr. F. J. Oswald of this place. Mr.
Oswald suffered much with Xbeama-
tisrn and was treated by doctor after
doctor -with the result that he got no
better whatever. They seemed unable
to do anything for him and he contin
ued to suffer till he heard of Docld's
Kidney Pills.
Mr. Oswald began a treatment of
this remedy which very soon did for
him what the doctors had failed to do
and they cannot understand it.
This is the same remedy that cured
Hon. Fred A. Busse , our State Treas
urer , of a very severe case of Rheuma
tism some years ago 'and which has
since had an unbroken record of suc
cess in curing all forms of Rheumatism
and Kidney Trouble.
There seems to be no case of these
painful diseases that Dodd's Kidney
Pills will not cure promptly and perma
nently.
Nearly 30 per cent of all flowers are
white.
New Zealand has an ivy tree which
has a thick , short trunk and heavy
branches. It is not a climbing plant.
The tight fitting British uniform
is alleged to be the cause for much
heart disease among soldiers.
It is suggested that the serum of
a cow suffering from vaccina be in
jected into a patient afflicted with
smallpox.
Capsicum Vaseline
Put Up In Collapsible Tubes.
A Substitute for and Superior to Mustard or anr
ther pLut-r.and will not bU ter the mostdeUmte-
kin. The pain allaying and curative qi | " ° f
toothache
ibts
this article are wonderful. Itwill atop
and relieve headache and sciatica.
ache at once , ,
We recommend it as the bestanJ safest external
counter-irritant km wn , also a * an external reme--
chest and stomach and aU-
tj for pains in the .
rheumatic , neuralgic and gouty complaints.
A trial will prove what we claim for it-and H.
will be found to be invaluable in the household.
Many people say "It is the best of ail your prepa '
rations. " ,
Price 15 cents , at all druggists , or other dealer *
or by sending this amount to us in postage stamp *
we will send you a tube by mail.
No article should be accepted fay the public on-
lus the same carries our label , as otherwise it if
ot genuine. : ]
CHEESBBROUC'1 MANUFACTURING CO. , '
17 " * t. street. * tw York Cltj.
TO WOMEN
FREE To prove the healln
_ _ & cleansing power e
PAXTINE TOILET ANTISEPTIC
we will mail large trial treatment with
book of instructions absolutely free.
This is not a tiny sample , but a largr
package , enough to convince anyone-
that it is the most successful prepara
tion known to medicine as a cleansing-
vaginal douche and for the local treat
ment off woman's special ills , curing *
discharges and all inflamation , alsa
to cleanse the teeth , mouth , and cure
catarrh. Send to-day ; a postal will da
eld fcy 4rcleU or seat poctpald by * *
ferre bar. . SstltfacUoa caaraBteed.
' . ° < XTON CO , . 216 Columbus Ave. . iottan. MlM.
BROMO-
SELTZER
CURES ALL
10 CEN1S-- EVERYWHERE
Wearing pure white chiffon or tulle
blouses under fur wraps and coats is
one of the recent ideas. The chiffon
is mounted on white silk and much
tucked/bat untrimmed. i
A Berlin woman bequeathed her
property to a cat.
Mrs. L. Goodman , the oldest living
woman artist , is 90. She has painted
upward of 1,200 portraits.
The earth passed through' the tail
of the great comet of 1861. It took
four hours to cross it.
By applying glucose or 'glycerine ta
their roots a French scientist declare ?
that he has been able to stimulate
the growth of plants.
* * " * " * . ' " " ' ff * * *
' , . > - ; - . ? - - . . ; < " > t T v'wrfo"- . . _ - . . . - . " * f . . . . . ' . ; ;
x-vj'/ > . * -Is : * VA- < &X e w * . - . v.--t.----- . . . . - : - .
r * - 'rt > ilsaaT V-"i <
Rc L f - . , > - . .
# '
- . " . . - . . "
f
t
Delicately formed and gently reared , women will find ,
in all the seasons of their lives , as maidens , wives , or moth
r ers , that the one simple , wholesome remedy which acts
/ $ gently and pleasantly and naturally , and which may be
&f % ? used with truly beneficial effects , under any conditions ,
- fi
vrT
when the system needs a laxative , is Syrup of Figs. It
is well known to be a simple combination of the laxative
and carminative principles of plants with pleasant , aromatic
matic liquids , which are agreeable and refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the- system when its gentle
cleansing is desired. _
Many of the ills from which women suffer are of a tran
sient nature and do not come from any organic trouble
and it is pleasant to know that they yield so promptly to
the beneficial effects of Syrup of Figs , but when anything
more than a laxative is needed it is best to consult the
family physician and to avoid the old-time cathartics and
loudly advertised nostrums of the present day. When
one needs only to remove the strain , the torpor , the con
gestion , or similar ills , which attend upon a constipated
condition of the system , use ttye true and gentle remedy
Syrup of Figs and enjoy freedom from the depression ,
the aches and pains , colds and headaches , which are due
to inactivity of the bowels.
Only those who buy the genuine Syrup of Figs can hope
to get its beneficial effects and as a guarantee , of the ex-
jcellence of the remedy the full name of the company
California Fig Syrup Co : is printed on the front of every
package and without it any preparation offered as Syrup "
of Figs is fraudulent and should be declined. To those. , ;
who know the quality of this excellent laxative , the"
offer of any substitute , when Syrup of Figs is called
for , is always resented by a transfer of patronage to.
some first-class drug establishment , where they do'
not recommend , nor sell false brands , nor imitation % %
remedies. The genuine article may be bought of all * &
reliable druggists everywhere at 50 cents per bottle.
ITAliP
* , irllwl T