Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, January 29, 1903, Image 2

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    THE VALENTINE DEMOCRA1
1. 51 UiCE , I'ub inher.
YALENTISE , KEBUASKA
Half the world doesn't care
llierr better halves live.
The spirit of rivalry has given th (
world about everything it has anj
right to feel proud of.
A New York clergyman has dcfinet
tipping as bribery pii'e | and simple , ant
he is just about four-quarters right.
But what would those twelve young
men killed in playing football have
been worth to the country had thej
lived ?
Another diamond mine has been dis
covered in South Africa. Will some
one please put an extra chain on the
dogs of war ?
The man who is known as "a prince
of good fellows" is likely to be re
ferred to as "a lobster" when his
money is gone.
Of course , a business man may be a
Christian ; but there is little likelihood
of his becoming a captain of industry
by following this policy.
When you go to collect a bill the
man at the counter is less apt to in
quire about the health of your family
than when you go in to pay one.
Fourteen deer hunters were killed
during the past season as against ten
football players. Who will care for
football after this ?
Every time an American goes abroad
to sell goods now it is referred to as
an invasion. What a lot of nervous
persons there must be in the world.
Emperor William might take kindly
to Carnegie's suggestion to form a
United States of Europe if he were
to be the grand chief and overlord of
the same.
A Virginia woman who hunted forty-
three years for her husband's grave
has just found it. It is to be hoped
that , being positive , she will now quit
worrying.
Uncle Sam is mounting a gun that
with 1,000 pounds of powder will send
a projectile weighing 2.370 pounds a
distance of twenty-one miles. This is
putting the strenuous life into metal
with a vengeance.
While Prof. Garner thinks he is inak-
Ing progress in learning the language
of monkeys , he complains that they do
not speak grammatically. Perhaps he
failed to be introduced into the cultur
ed circles of monkeydom.
The Berlin insane asylum claims a
patient , whose hair changes color with
her feelings. When she is cool and
quiet her hair is a light yellow , but
when she is restless and excited it be
comes auburn. In other words when
she gets red headed , she is so.
A Virginia legislator who tacks "M.
D. " to his name has introduced a bill
to make kissing illegal unless the par
ties to the osculation can show by a
physician's certificate that they are
free from all infectious germs. This
doctor is evidently convinced that the
chief end of a legislator is to make
business for himself.
Sweden has begun to emancipate it
self from slavery to coal. The govern-
nent has decided to operate by elec
tricity the two thousand two hundred
miles of railway which it owns. The
electricity will be generated by water
power , which is abundant in that
mountainous country. Italy also has
begun to utilize its waterfalls for pro
ducing electricity , and is expecting an
Industrial revolution in consequence of
the supply of cheap power for manu
facturing purposes. This country does
not monopolize all the enterprise in the
world.
Marriage without love is almost a
crime. In fact , it would be regarded
as one if the world were as true , as
simple , as sincere as it ought to be.
But society has so long wandered in
a maze of complexity , and marriage ,
from monarchs downward , is under
taken for such a variety of reasons
apart from love , that only a few re
tain the correct Impression about it.
And of these few the majority are
women or girls who would rather die
than marry a man they did not love.
Sir Walter Scott knew this well when
he wrote "The Bride of Lammermoor. "
His noble , gentle , true and tender
spirit , aware of what love is , could
well compute the horror of a loveless
marriage.
From out the hearsay and conjecture
which constitutes much of our knowl
edge of the Filipino one incident
speaks in words which all may under
stand. An American missionary who
had taken a little bicycle excursion
into the interior , and had preached to
large numbers of natives , was taken
111 in a village which had suffered
especially from the exigencies of the
war. For a week he was as tenderly
nursed by the strangers as he could
have been among his own people. One
morning , as he came out early , intend
ing , weak as he was , to make the long
bicycle ride to Manila , he found await
ing him twenty Filipinos , only a few
> of whom had he ever seen before. One
jof them took his bicycle to lead. The
others showed him a litter they had
jfoshioned. into which he was put. Four
of the men took the poles of the lltte
on their shoulders.and the rest trudge
on behind as relays. Over the roug
mountain paths , through the intens
heat of the long day , these men bor
their American brother the twenty-liv
miles to the coast , and refused to tak
even a penny in compensation. Surel
even in our so-called heathen depot
dencies the line flower of the human !
ties blooms on.
Frugality and industry make a fin
team , and we all of us experience a :
approving thrill when we read of th
great man who consecrated his yout ;
to an unmixed diet of oatmeal porridg
for the sake of a material econoin ;
that should result later in wealth , ma
terial and mental. Science approve
also and is shocked by the extravagan
self-indulgence of the poor , who coul <
secure a competence so easily if the :
would take to porridge , or , better still
to raw turnips , like Colonel Sellers
Playing with human beings as an ah
straction represented by marks upoi
his writing tablets , the professor o
science feeds them , clothes them
lodges them , pays the doctors' bills am
the undertakers' bills with a growinj
enthusiasm as he keeps reducing th <
figures , except those of mortality , am
presents his final calculations as a tri
umph. It is thus with Prof. Clark , whc
has reached the conclusion that tin
"unskilled American workman" cai
keep a family in comfort and save mon
oy on § 300 a year. Moreover , at forty
five he should have laid by an independ
ent fortune , and meanwhile he will have
rioted in those greatest of blessings , la
bor and abstinence. As the professoi
contemplates the Irrefutable demon
stration and hearkens for the dinnei
bell which shall summon him to roasl
beef at twenty-five cents a pound , hf
becomes sterner in his demand foi
self-denial in those unskilled work
men. "The man or woman , " he says
'who becomes dependent through neg
! ect or lack of foresight is morally as
juilty as the thief who breaks in and
steals. " And it is not improbable thai
iie will come to regard $300 as a de
moralizing superabundance and cut the
Igures down one-half. But what kind
) f apartments could he furnish a man
ivith wife and children under his econ-
) iuical scheme ? Just how would he
icep them all warm in winter and pro-
ride them with suitable surroundings
n summer which should conduce to
heir health and pleasure ? While sci-
mce is speculating with its abstrac-
ions , the facts and conditions of life
n America are rudely giving it the lie.
\.nd such wickedness demands stur-
liest refutation.
FHE VILLAIN IN THE NURSERY.
'Mother Goose" Is Brought to Task
by a Critic.
As a really cheerful lullaby , none
> ther can equal
lere comes a candle to light you to bed !
lore comes a chopper , to chop off your
head !
i ml , when a child is thoroughly fright
ened by this vivid picture , what can
letter befit the occasion than a recital
> f the inquisitorial story of
) ld daddy long-legs wouldn't say his
prayers !
Take him by the right leg !
Take him by the left leg ! !
Take him by both legs ! ! !
.nd throw him down stairs !
> efore the child kneels down to its
levotions ? As an epitome of religious
lersecution , this cannot be surpassed.
The example of "Nanty Panty" has ,
to doubt , been followed by scores of
ihildren. The words have a merry
ingle. One can almost see a young-
ter jogging to the grocer's and filch-
Qg the first thing on which he can lay
iis baby hands ! Listen :
Nanty Panty , Jack-Dandy
Stole a piece of sugar candy
From the grocer's shoppy shop ,
And away did hoppy hop !
n the following ridiculous , impossi-
ile couplet :
loney I want , money I crave ,
f you don't give me money , I'll sweep
you to the grave !
ighway robbery is suggested striking-
r and in a most impudent manner ,
likewise , there seems to be no satis-
nctory reason for the "little man who
ad a little gun" to shoot the duck
lirough the "head , head , head , " unless
e was on a poaching expedition.
A tangent of incendiarism is seen
i this advice given to the pretty lady-
ird , that inadvertently lights on one's
and :
, ady-bSrd , lady-bird , fly away home ,
our house is on fire , your children alone ,
'hey ' are all burnt but one !
Tad the insect enough understanding ,
; would undoubtedly hasten home-
* ard without waiting to be blown
way. An effective moral is certainly
cached in
ye , Baby Bumpkin ! Whose 's Tony
Lumpkin ?
[ y lady's on her deathbed
rora eating half a pumpkin !
. lack of sequence is to be noted , but
is quite natural for the lady in ques
on to be very ill after such a gas-
onomic feat. Success.
Hannibal's Philosophy.
Hannibal was gayly trekking over
le Alps.
"Say , " he chuckled , "this thing is a
inch ! Suppose I had to cross the
ew York subway ! "
Shuddering at the mere thought , he
ressed onward with his own rapid
ansit. New York Times.
Small Way of Looking at It.
"There will be one advantage to be
ained from 1-cent postage. "
"What is that ? "
"When a fellow carries around for
jveral days the letter that his wife
> ld him to mail there won't be so
luch capital lying idle. " Cleveland
lain Dealer.
TOM OCHILTREE , BON VIVANT )
The Celebrated Texan , of Picturesque
.Fame , o r Iore.
A picturesque figure has gone from
American public life. Colonel Thomas
P. Ochiltree warrior , statesman , jour-
n a 1 i s t , diplomat ,
promoter , bon vi-
vant and racon
teur , known equal
ly well in England ,
on the continent , in
Now York , Texas
and Washington-
is dead.
Ochiltree was a
Texan by birth.
His father was a
TOM OCHILTREE. judge and a found
er of the Texan republic , and the bo ;
grew up in his law office. At 15 , how
ever , he broke away from home an <
served with the Texas Rangers agains
the Comanches and Apaches. At 2
he was editing a Democratic paper an <
attending a national convention as !
delegate. In the Civil War he was i
messenger for Jefferson Davis am
General Longstreet. After the war In
became a Republican , and Genera
Grant , when he became Provident
made him a United States marshal ii
Texas. After a time the President wa ;
disturbed by hearing of Hie colonel a
nearly every race track in the country
and demanded an explanation. -
"Oh , " said the marshal , "I'm no
Tom Ochiltree. He's a race horse
John Chamberlain named after m < \ "
Ochiltree tired of the Federal job aiu
became proprietor and editor of tin
Houston Telegraph. As a uewspapei
man he went to New York , where IK
became acquainted with August Bel
mont , who introduced him to manj
men of prominence , lie went to Paris
and formed the acquaintance of James
Gordon Bennett. When Bennett oab'eil
2,000 words to the New York Herald
on the opening of the Paris Exposition
in 1807 , Colonel Ochiltree asked that
the dispatch be duplicated to the
Houston Telegraph. The Frenchmen
were amazed at the man's evident higli
financial standing. They never learned
the truth that Ochiltree's paper sus
pended three days after the receipt of
the cable. The colonel's dispatch was
too much for the paper's treasury.
When he came home from Europe he
ran for Congress in a Texas district
covering 37,000 square miles. He made
fifty-two speeches , covering the terri
tory on horseback , mulcback and on
foot. He was elected , though the dis
trict was a Democratic stronghold.
While at Washington a correspondent
wagered with a friend that he could
make any member of Congress known
from one end of the country to the
other within a year , and he picked out
Ochiltree , red-headed , a good story
teller and fond of notoriety , as the
man. He began to send out stories
of Ochiltree , many of which were true
and others far from it , and Ochiltree
became a personage to be quoted , in
terviewed and sought after. Rich men
became his intimates. He traveled in
Europe and attracted the attention of
capitalists to the advantages which
Texas offered men of means. In re
cent years he had spent his time
around the fashionable hostelries of
New York City.
HAS A COMEDY JAIL.
In Klizabethtown , N. J. , Prisoners Are
Locked Out Instead of In.
Elizabethtown , the county seat of
Essex , in the Adirondacks , possesses a
comedy jail , says the Philadelphia
Ledger. It is small , having windows
secured by wooden bars and the jail-
yard inclosed by a solid fence of three-
quarter-inch boards , which a healthy
man could push over with his shoulder.
But the prisoners rarely , if ever , at
tempt to escape.
Some good stories are told by Judge
Kellogg , Judge Hand and other resi
dents. It is a custom to allow the
prisoners out on parole , so that they
may cut the grass on neighboring
lawns , do garden work or repair roads
for the village and county. Recently
sne prisoner who should have returned
it 6 o'clock did not apply for admission
until nearly an hour later. The war-
len angrily demanded to know the rea
son , and added :
"Don't let this occur again , or I will
not allow you to come in. I lock the
loor at G o'clock , and won't open it in
; he future for you. "
Another , accused of and awaiting
: rial for manslaughter , overstayed his
larole and pleaded as an excuse that ,
is it was Saturday , he thought he
ivoulcl go and spend Sunday with his
, vife , returning to the jail on Monday
norning.
A Hard. Student.
"Do you think son will stand at the
lead of his class ? " asked Mrs. Corn-
ossel.
"Well , " answered her husband , "I
lid have my doubts. But since seein'
lim practice with the football team I
eckon he will. Ef Josh starts fur the
lead o' the class he'll get there , or
omebody'll get hurt in the scuffle. "
Vashington Star.
Knew His Cijrars.
Higbee Our friend Ranck is In Eu-
ope now , isn't he ?
Jigbee Yes , and he must be trnv-
ling under the name of "Stromboli. "
Higbee What makes you thing so ?
Jigbee A dispatch from Italy the
ther day said : "Stromboli begun to
moke yesterday and the people of the
eighborhood at once packed up and
loved away. " Philadelphia Press.
Armed in Memphis.
One of the Memphis newspapers de-
lared its belief that one in six of the
mle adults of that city carries a re-
olver.
Lightning doesn't belong to a union ,
et it Is the most persistent striker.
T
Congressman Geo. H. White's Case.
A Noted Sculptress Cured.
fr * * * ! * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I-
I4
4- -
of niedicine
recognizes
GRIPPE is epidemic catarrh. It
LA no class or nationality. The
cultured and the ignorant , the aris
tocrat and the pauper , the masses and
the classes are alike subject to la grippe.
None are exempt all are liable.
Have you the grip ? Or , rather , has
the grip got you ? Grip is well named.
The original French term , la grippe ,
has been shortened by the busy Ameri
can to read "grip. " Without intending
writes the following letter from 3417
\Vabash avenue. Chicago , 111. :
"I suffered this winter with a sever *
attack of la grippe. After usinj : three
bottles of Peruna I found the grip had
disappeared. " Mrs. T. Sehmitt.
210 A.
writes from
Mrs. Celeste Covell
avenue. Aurora , 111. : . .
,
"Only those who have suffered with
la grippe and been cured can appreciate-
how grateful I feel that such a spk-ndid
medicine as Peruna has bren placvd at
the door of every suffering person.
Mrs. C. Covell.
Noted Sculptress Cured of Grip.
Mrs. M. C. Cooper , of ilfe Royal Acad
London. England , nov-
emy of Arts , of
residing in Washington , D. C. . is one ot
the greatest living senators and painters-
of the world. She say- :
"I take ple.isTire in recommending I o-
runa for catarrh and ! : grippe. I navu
suffered for months , and after the use ot
one bottle of Peruna I am entirely well. '
Mrs. M. C. Cooper.
D. L. Wallace , a charter member of
the International Barbers' Union , writ-s
from 15 Western avenue , Minneapolis ,
Minn. :
"Following a severe attack of la grippe-
I seemed to be affected badly all over.
"One of my customers who was greatly
helped by Peruna advised me to try it.
and I procur.-d : i bottle the same day.
Now my head is clear , my nerves are
steady , 1 enjoy food and rest well. Pe
runa has been worth a dollar a dose to-
me. " D. L. Wallace.
Lieutenant Clarice Hunt , of the Salt
Lake City I'.arracks of the Salvation-
Army , writes from Ogden. Utah :
"Two months ago I was suffering with
1 could hardly
so severe a cold that
speak.
"Our captain advised me to try Pernna.
and procured a b. > ttle for mo. and truly
it worked wonders. Within two weeks I
was entirely well. " Clarice Hunt.
Congressman White's Letter.
Tarboro , N. C.
Gentlemen : / am more than sails--
fied with Peruna and find it to be an.
excellent remedy for the grip and ca
tarrh. I have used it in my family
and they all join me in recommending
it as an excellent remedy. " George :
H. White , Member of Congress.
Mrs. T. W. Collins , Treasurer Inde
pendent Order of Good Templars , of
Everett. Wash. , writes :
"After having a severe attack of la
grippe I continued in a feeble condition
even after the doctors called me cured.
Mv blood seemed poisoned. Peruna.
cured me. " Mrs. T. W. Collins.
If you do not derive prompt and satis
factory results from the use of Peruna. .
write "at once to Dr. Hartman. giving a :
full statement of your case , and lie will ,
be pleased to give you his valuable ad
vice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman. President of
The Hartman Sanitarium , Columbus
Ohio.
Ask your druggist for a free Pe-ru-na Almanac.
A man who permits himself to be
come garrulous often is compeled
to eat humble pie.
There are many phases of character
sL.red in the disposition or the aver
age man.
A Frenchman has invented a pho
netic typewriter which can be oper
ated at the rate of 200 words a min
ute.
WESTERN CANADA
Grain Growing. Mixed Farming.
THE REASON WHY
more wheat is grown in Western
Canada in a few whort months , is
because vegetation grows in pro
portion to the sunliidit. There
fore 62 pounds per hushpl is as fair
I a standard as CO pounds in thoEost.
Area under crop In "Wentern Canada. 1908
lt > 8rUaO ucres.
Yield. . 1308 117,022,754 bu.
Free Homestead * of 160 Acre * Plentiful , the only
charse beinn flO for entry. Abundance of water and
fueljcheap building material , good KrufH for pasture
anil hay , a fertile soil , a sufficient rainfall nnd o climate
an assured and adequate season of growth ,
giving to the following for an Atlas and other litera
ture , and also for certificate giving you reduced
freight and passenger rates , ntc. , etc. : Ths Super
intendent of Immicration. Ottawa , Canada , or to
WJV. Bennett , 801 New York Life Bldg. , Omaha.
Neb. , the authorized Canadian Government Agent.
Put Up in Collapsible Tubes.
A Substitute for and Superior to Mustard or any
Other plaster , and will not blister the nost delicate
Ikin. The pain allaying aucl cunitive qualities of
this article are wonderful. It will stop the tooth-
ache at once , and rblieve headache anQ sciatica.
SVe recommend It as the best and safest external
Counter-irritant known , also as an external reme
dy for pains in the chest and stomach and all
rheumatic , neuralgic and gouty complaints.
A trial will prove what we claim for it , and It
will be found to bo invaluable in the household.
Many people say ' It is the best of all your prep -
fations , "
Price 15 cents , at all druggists , or other dealers ,
cr by sending this amount to us in postage stamps ,
we will send you a tube by mail.
No article should be accepted by the public un
less the same carries our label , as otherwise it it
Bot genuine.
CHESEBROUGH MANUFACTURING CO ,
17 State St. , New York City.
"I have fono 14 dny at a timevltliont a
movement ot" tlio bowels , not being able to
move them except by using hot water injections.
Chronic constipation for seven years placed rne in
this terrible condition , durinc that time I did ev-
erythinc I heard of but never found any relief : such
was my case when I began using UA CARETS. I
now have from one to three passages a day. and if I
was rich I would ch'e $100.00 for each movement ; it
is such a relief. " AYUIF.R L. HUNT ,
1689 Russel St. , Detroit. Mich.
BEST FOR
THE BOWELS
CANDY CATHARTIC
Pletiant , Palatable , Potent. Taste Good , Do
Good , Never Sicken , VreaVen or Gripe , lOc , 25c , SOc.
CURE CONSTfPATSON
ChUijo , B ntr I , Kiw Trk. 322
If afflicted with ; '
Thompson 'sEyelfiater
sore eyes , use (
N. N. U. NO. 755-5 , YORK NEB
to do so a new word has been coined that
exactly describes the case. As if
some hideous giant with awful Grip had
clutched us in its fatal clasp. Men.
women , children , whole towns and cities
are caught in the baneful grip of a ter
rible monster.
Pe-ru-na for Grip.
Mrs. Theophile Sehmitt. wife of the
ex-Secretary of the Gorman Consulate.
Meat purveyors in Brussells have
advanced their prices 25 per cent.
If you want creamery prices do as
the creameries do , use JUNE TINT
BUTTER COLOR.
There are now about 3,0000,00
head of cattle in Argentina.
But one person in eighty nf the
workers of London goes to church.
It requires much persuasion to
make one accept uncomplainingly the
ills of life.
A woman likes to travel because : t
enables her to take on an appearan ° e
of luxury and contentment.
The thoughts will turn to the fu
ture wehn one comes to reckon the
rapidity of time's flight.
A lock of the duke of Wellington's-
hair brought20 at a London acu-
tion the other day.
Mrs. Winslow' ? SOOTiU.No oYUUP for children.
iff. t-oftent * the K'lms , reduces IntUiinatloa
jialn , cures wind collie. 25c bottle.
TO WOMEN
To prove the healing
& cleansing power of
PAXTINE TOILET ANTISEPTIC
we will mail large trial treatment with
buk of instructions absolutely free.
This is not a tiny sample , but a large
package , enough to convince anyone
that it is the most successful prepara
tion known to medicine as a cleansing
vaginal douche and for the local treat
ment of woman's special ills , curing
discharges and all inflamation , also
to cleanse the teeth , mouth , and cure
catarrh. Send to-day ; a postal will do.
Sold by drnscUU or cent poitpaid by n , 6 ceate
large box. Satisfaction guaranteed.
R. PAXTON CO , , 216 Columbus Ave. . Boston. Mass.
E. L. BARRACAR Pres. ED. C. BROWN. . . '
. , . . . TreasD. B. PARKS. Sec'y & Magr
NATIONAL MEDICAL 00.
PROPRIETORS
. Masters' Remedies
CAPITAL , $250,000.00.
National Stock Food.
Spices and Baking Powder ,
vy
Flavoring Extracts vx
ihe Oreai Germ and insect Destroyer. ,
HAG" P h fll ArflJsa germ disease of the large intestine and
IlUg yilUlWia when confined to the intestine it can be vy
w cured , but atter it penetrates the lungs , liver and other omans
causing fermentation and inHamation , it cannot be curprl
Liquid Koal is now used by the leading stock men over thP
country for the cure and prevention ot cholera because it is th7
only known germicide that will pass through the stomach intn
the intestines and from there into the blood , permeatingthe
vy whole system , freeing it of all germs of disease and still retain
vx its germicidal properties. It is a compound embracing everv
germicide , antiseptic and disinfectant property found in rnal
treated-chemically with an alkaline base until everv obiectinnai
feature is eliminated , being non-poisonous and harmless to
animal economy.
CORN STALK DISEASE is a germ disease caused bv the
cattle eating the partly decomposed nubbin pn the stalk ThP
symptoms are characterized by a high fever and bbacimr
Liquid Koal given in the pure state and put in th ° " drinking
water will cure and prevent this disease. un-iub
Liquid Koal is also used in the treatment of Swine Plaeue Tn
berculosis , Lump-Taw , Pink Eye , Chicken Cholera , Bots SrahcTin
Sheep , and all kinds of Parasites and Lice. '
Prices of Liquid Koal Delivered are as Follows'
ONE QUART CAN - S1.0O TEN GAL. KEG. S2.50 PER GAL
ONE GALLON - - 3.0O 25 GAL.-1-2 BBL , . $2.25 GAL
FIVE GALLONS. S2.75 PER GAL 50GAL.-QNEBBL. , S2j00 GAL
32-Page book on diseases of animals mailed free on anDlicatinn .
* * WHUUU.
vy If no local agent order direct from us.
NATIONAL MEDICAL COMPANY ,
YORK , NEBR. SHELDON , IOWA VW
"
Liquid Koal is now endorsed by the leading experimental stru
oudr * 9J
tions as the greatest germ destroyer known.
TWO THINGS TO REMEMBER.
Use Liquid Koal to destroy the parasites on the outsidp
Use Liquid Koal to destroy the parasites on the inside.
r }
; n , '