R. COCIIRANE enters the drawing-room , where his wife is sealed at the piano , lie For goodness' sakeMabel , stop banging that instrument and talk to me ! She ( turning her head round ) Talk to you ? What on earth about ? I saw you .at breakfast Ho IK a fellow only to speak to his wife once a day ? I thought marriagt ; | was meant for companionship and sym pathy. She ( crossly ) You think wives were created just to fulfill the passing ca- ! price of the moment , but I don't choose 4o pander to your whims. I've some thing better to do. ( Faces the music and goes on practicing. ) He Most women give up all that strumming when they get married and take to more useful occupation. She ( playing sofUy ) More fools they. ( Banging hard aud putting down loud pedal. ) He ( raising his voice ) If you go on any longer with that noise I'll smash every note 011 that old kettledrum ! She ( lifting her hajids from the keys ) Then I'll burn all your golf sticks. ( Gets off music stool and confronts ; him. ) By the by , did you ever intend giving up golf when you proposed to l me ? ; He Oh , that's quite a different mat- teri Au open-air pastime Is absolutely necessary for health. It's a. man's duty to his family to join a golf club. She And leave his wife to her own j devices , then grumble at her because j j she solaces her loneliness with music. | Ho But you carry it to such an exh cess. You're forever gadding about to concerts , operas , musical matinees , and what not You are never in. She Why should I be , when you .ire always out ? I suppose you'd have me waiting in the hall all day to help you on and off with your coat , and to run for your slippers , like some deluded do mestic drudge. For years , Walter , I've been trying to uproot your medieval ideas of matrimony , but they stick as tight as ever. He You should have mentioned your disapproval when I imparted them to you before our marriage , then then She Then there would have been no marriage you'd have cried off ? He ( deliberately ) I certainly should. She Ours is a good illustration of the old adage , "Marry in haste , repent at leisure. " I can only assure you I re gret our precipitancy as much as you do. He But I don't regret anything. It is only weak minds that indulge in idle regrets. She Own up , our marriage is a misI take , and be honest. He I deny it Nothing of the sort She ( irritated ) Call it what you will , an error of judgment , a regrettable inciE dent there have been so many disast ters the past year so named. But in homely parlance , we ought not to have got married ; we are not suited to each other , and our marriage Is a failure. He ( calmly ) You are quite wrong , The real error only lies in your light J i treatment of the vows you made at the 11 altar , and in your neglect of wifely t duties. She The fact is , you've got tired of me. In the early days of our life toti gether everything was fresh and new ; u you were kept amused , but now the g novelty has worn off , I have no longer the power to attract and entertain you. n He ( angrily ) Upon my word. Mabel , n you take the cake for perversion of I truth ! It was you who got tired of me ; h you were always begging to move to tl London , and complained so of being dull and bored in the country. As I was v your sole and constant companion , it tl was a bit rough on me , and I felt it You were always grumbling at me. She The fact is that a man without is any profession or business becomes e hipped , dissatisfied and morose. You v don't do half enough with your life. A He And you do too much. The conb stant excitement you indulge in makes you irritable , restless and flighty. She I despise a man who makes golf his whole life work , and has no definite aim. aim.He He I scorn a woman who has a score of silly fancies and. misnames them "isms. " She ( hotly ) You would bind me down to the narrow tedium of domes ticity , and stifle all higher aspirations. He Rot ! bosh ! fiddlesticks ! How you go off in a tangent , Mabel ! But this sort of thing between us can't go on much longer. She ( quicklyNo ) , indeed. There's only one thing to be done if two part ly ners in a concern can't pull together. He And that is ? She Dissolve partnership. Take up the contract Sever the bond. He ( horrified ) Mabel ! You surely don't mean what you say , that that weShe She Yes , I do. I've often thought of it I guess you have , too , but you dared-not say it Men have no moral courage. He ( distressfully ) To think it should ever come to this , when we were once so happy. She ( triumphantly ) I cut the Gor- .dlan knot for you , and ask for a sep aration. You ought to be immensely obliged to me. Ifs all so easy to ar range , as we have each our own aittle fortune , and there will be no mone tary difficulties. Let us approach the matter in a businesslike manner for it Is certainly no affair of sentiment. We can have a legal document drawn up * * * * * * * by the lawyers , but all the minor de tails we can settle amicably between ourselves. * lie Surely yon are only poking , Mabel ? I am quite dumfoumled. Have 'these scatter-brained musicians and ec centric violinists quite turned your brain ? She ( firmly , with a little stamp of her foot ) What a time it takes you to grasp any new idea ! I am quite de cided , and have wished it for long enough. We will have a proper separa tion , de corps ct de biens , as the French suy , and I shall take a snug little flat near Oxford street , and you can keep on In this house. Now , let us begin and divide our goods. He ( sadly ) You've always had your own way , and I suppose you'll get it still. If you've quite ceased caring for me , I'm sure I don't care what hap pens. I shall go headlong to ruin. She ( laughing and rising from her chair ) What a long face you pull , you silly boy ! It will be great fun hav ing one's own establishment ; we shall be far happier apart. I feel quite ex cited about it , and shall set to work to divide our belongings. Half of the things in the house are mine and half yours. We must choose what we each like best. Of course , you'll want me to have the pianos ? He ( testily ) Take the confounded things away. I can't bear the mention of music it is the cause of all our discord. She ( looking round the room ) These pretty ] water colors , too , I should like. Men ] don't appreciate pictures , and you h understand nothing of art. He ( dejectedly ) How beastly cheer ful ] you seem , Mabel ! She ( with asperity ) Of course I am ! For goodness * sake , rouse yourself , Walter , and take an interest in things ! He ( crossly ) Then I lay claim to some knowledge of art , and tell you 1 mean to have half of these water colors. I think they're lovely. She How selfish you ar.e ! But the timepiece and statuettes , of course , are mine ? . He ( deciding to rouse himself ) I'm blowed if they are ! My father gave me those for my rooms long before 1 married. She Then I'll have the silver lamp. He What ? The General sent it to me as a wedding present , aud I shall stick to it. She ( reproachfully ) Sent it to us , Walter. I've quite as much right to it as you. He But there's no "us" and more. I It's only me and you ; and what's mine I take. She ( impatiently ) But we must di vide the things. He ( calmly ) Divide away , then. Give me a fair share of five chairs , three lit tle tables and a cabinet. She Oh , don't be so ridiculous , Wal ter ! You make me so angry. Evi dently you mean to get the lion's share. It's always the way , the poor woman goes to the wall. ( Brightening up. ) I've got it ! Let's take things in a lump. I'll have all the morning room furni ture and you the contents of the li brary. He Agreed. But I must inform you that the collection of books is very val uable , and that your morning room gimcracks are utterly worthless. She I've always treated you in the most generous manner , and I hate those musty old book shelves. But in return expect all the silver and linen. Those household requisites always belong to the woman. He I'm dashed if they do ! The sil ver is an heirloom , and all marked with the Cochrane crest. I wouldn't part q1 with it for a thousand pounds. (3 She ( petulantly ) Well , really , what there for me to have ? You persist ently : claim everything of the least value , and leave the rubbish for me. At least you will assign me my own bedroom suite ? He It is yours. a She And all the nursery furniture ? He ( amazed ) What on earth for ? That's the last thing you'll ever need , and my little Dorothy must have all she's been accustomed to. in She Precisely. That's what I mean. My sweet girlie must bring it all with her. her.HP HP Are you stark , staring mad , Mabel ? You don't suppose for one mo ment that I shall allow my little daughter to quit her home ? No , in deed , not for one single night. or She ( horrified ) But'you can't think I mean to leave little Dolly here ! Sure , you would not be such a heartless brute as to part a mother from her I rob you of the honor of your brilliant solution of the marriage problem. She ( desperately ) Th * child is mine , find must come with me , I could not p live without my little darling. By na si ture's law she belongs entirely to me. He ( sternly ) The law of the land f ( will give her absolutely to my care. The woman who forsakes her husband and home will be adjudged no fit guard ian for her infant. C ! ( There is silence in the room for sev eral minutes. ) si She ( falteringly ) I have been very thoughtless very discontented , and wicked. Please forgive me. I am so ' ashamed of my folly I understand it all now the sacreauess of marriage forgive me. ( She bursts into tears. ) He ( goes to her side and puts his vi arm round her ) Dear little woman You have been influenced by evil coun selors who envy your happiness , havi you not ? She ( sobbing ) Silly , weak creatun that I am ! But the scales have fallei from my eyes I see my faults and al your goodness. He ( drawing her to him ) Put youi head on my shoulder , in the dear old way , and tell me all about it I , too am to blame. I have been hard an < ? unsympathetic , and need your forgive ness , dear. We possess the same treas ure in our little child , so we must foi her sake have the same aims , choost the same path , and walk hand in hand. We are linked by indissoluble tics which only death must sever. ( Kisses her. ) Dry your eyes , little wife , and cheer up. We will begin a new life from this moment. I will cultivate i taste for music , and have singing les sons at once. She ( smiling through her tears ) And I , Walter , will learn golf. A little mor fresh air with less music will give m back my old content and happiness. He ( exultantly ) You're a real trump Mab , and we'll be the jolliest couple ii all England. New York News. PUZZLED THE SECRETARY , He Couldn't Pick Out the Senator'a "Jokes" from the Serious Matter. The Senator came out of his private office and faced the young man at the writing table. In his left hand he loosely held a bunch of writing paper "Mr. Acting Secretary , " he said ii his abrupt way , "I want to try the effect of this little speech on you. Are we alone ? " "Quite alone , " replied the young man. "It has been stated by an invidious Eastern press , " remarked the Senator "that I joke with difficulty. " "I have noticed something of the kind , " ventured the young man. Then he hastily added , "I mean in the pa pers. " "And do you agree with these crit ics ? " "Certainly not" "Very good , " said the Senator as he glanced at the closely written sheets. "Now listen. I am going to read a few selections from this speech , some of them Serious , some humorous , and I want to see if you can tell tue which is which. Do you understand ? " "I hope I will I mean of course 1 understand , " replied the young man. and he turned his chair half round so as to face the eminent statesman. "All ready then , " said the Senator , and with many gestures from his dis engaged arm he hurriedly read a some what lengthy sentence. Suddenly he stopped. "How's that ? " he demanded. The young man's face beamed with delight "It's awfully bright" he chuckled ; "they'll laugh at that all right" "What ! " roared the Senator. "That isn't humorous. That's all serious. 1 didnt't want to be humorous at the very start "Of course not , " faltered the unhap py young man. "Here " said the Senator " ' , , "I'll try you again. " And he hastily read an- other passage. 'That's serious all right , " said the young man , with great confidence. "That will set them to thinking. " "Serious ! " roared the Senator. "What's the matter with you ? That's the funniest paragraph in the wholeC speech ! Wake up and get into the game. Here , I'll give you a last chance. " The unhappy young man wiped his brow on his coat sleeve and drew a long ' breath. Again the Senator rapidly read a se- lection , and again he suddenly paused. "Now , what's that ? " he shouted. The young man gasped. "Th-that ? " he stammered. "Why , th-that's a composite. " The Senator scowled down at him. 'Composite be jingoed ! " he wildly snorted , says the Cleveland Plain Deal er , and hid himself in his private room with a portentous slam of the door Overreached Hersell' An exalted sense of one's personal knowledge and importance is very sure to antagonize others , and often leads to situation embarrassing for the person who assumes superiority. The Philadel phia Times tells a story of the way in which a certain teacher in one of the up-town schools of that city was caught a trap of her own making. She was one of a group of teachers who went through a fine botanical col lection on a Saturday afternoon under the escort of a gentleman who has written several books on plants. She manifested little interest in anything pointed out by the guide as wonderful beautiful , and superciliously remark ed that her people in the country had specimens as good or better. The pro fessor went into raptures over a giant cactus , but the self-important teacher interrupted with : "To me it seems rather commonplace. have one at home much larger. I planted it when it was a mere slip , and have reared it ever since. " "This is indeed interesting , " said the professor , "for this cactus is exactly t sixty-three years old. " He was allowed to do all the talking c for the rest of the afternoon. t r\ Inferential. Madge How in the world can she call her bathing dress modest ? Marjorie Probably because Ifs so shrinking. Cincinnati Enquirer. A man-hater in town calls every widow she knows a benefactress , be cause she has put at least one man un der the ground. Honestly , now , you get mad at some very little things , don't you ? New York city has 150,000 organizec wage workers. Morganville , W. Va. , will have a $1- 000,000 plate glass plant. The Bank of England employs about 1,000 people , pays 200,000 a year in wages and 35,000 a year in pensions. The Conductors' and Railway Men's Association of Canada , with a member ship of about 20,000 employes on Cana dian railways , adopted resolutions re cently at Montreal not to handle coal mined by non-union miners. The war against counterfeiters of th-j Gigaruiakers' Union label is bearing fruit , according to the reports from Pennsylvania. A few weeks ago a deal er in Gettysburg , Pa. , was fined $100 and sentenced to eighteen months' im prisonment and more recently another dealer in Red Lion , Pa. , received a sim ilar sentence. The cigarmakers' offi cials are elated over the prison sen tences , and believe a few more such cases will put an end to the nefarious practice. The millinery trimmers , makers and preparers , of whom there are many hundreds in Chicago , have answered the bugle call of trades unionism , and hereafter they will trim my lady's hai according to the rules of their union. However , fashion's latest decree in headdress will be carried out as it has been in the past , but the worker who converts wire frames and millinery folds into beautiful creations to cover a woman's crowning glory will ask foi more compensation , lighter and airier workrooms and the abolition of three hours of night work "for 35 cents sup per money. " There are 500 trimmers ir the city. The Iron Molders' Union of Nortl America is making preparations for the inauguration of a general nine-hour workday. At the recent convention held in Toronto the plan was outlined. and all unions instructed to make the shorter workday the paramount issue in future agreements. The different dis- triers will be called into conference shortly , so that some definite action may be taken by January' 1 next In the district which comprises the local unions in Chicago , Cleveland , Cincin nati , St. Louis , Indianapolis , Detroit and Milwaukee delegates will meet in conference within the next few weeks and launch the nine-hour movement HISTORIC CITY OF LORETO. Situated on the Summit of a Verdant Hill , It Is a Place of Beauty. There is no hill so fertile , so smiling or so happily situated in all that beau tiful strip of country as the verdanl hill to the summit of which is situated the ancient , venerable and historic city of Loreto. Perhaps the best view ol it is that you get at evening , the travel er's farewell glimpse , when the ame thyst shadow is transparent still , anc the far city , "the spiritual city , ' gleams like a sapphire on the height But , on the morning I speak of , th < sun was scorching , the dust smother ing , and as the dense crowd , hundreds e on hundreds of men , women and chil E dren , laboriously ascended the winding road , the simile was forced upon yoi of the steep ways of life. Almost al ! \V the pilgrims were fasting , and they * carried their day's provisions witl them ; but it was no uncommon thing to see some stout-hearted woman , bur e dened already , yet place her arm aboui P a weaker sister and help her in the w ascent If the "spiritual city" mad < m me think of Galahad , the dark , close pressing throng suggested the visions a of their own seer , Dante , writes Ga bi briel F. Powers , in Donahoe's Maga inp zine. p > Moving with it we came , througl oi medieval streets , to the dear quaint ok siP piazza with the church striking ou siai its upper outlines boldly against th ai blue and the golden statue of Mary th , Virgin burning above It like a flame jle Sixtus V. wrote upon the facade of thi. P temple , defiantly it would seem in ou , , ° own age of puny faiths and damning , questions , and yet the daring make : BI the soul glad , as do the dauntless blow : le of some brave champion "House o P God's Mother , in which the Word wa. ol made Flesh. " It is large and simple , fc and strong , and seems to challenge yoi ei not to enter those sacred precincts witl ef irreverent feet Inside the church al of the stones around the Holy House an th worn with the knees and the lips o. tv centuries. i" Felicitated Himself Too Soon. Barber How's the razor , sir ? Customer Didn't know I was bein. shaved. Barber ( flattered ) Very glad , I'i sure , sir. Customer I thought I was bein sandpapered. Pick-Me-Up. ai Cause ot btcam-P pe Explosions. n\ Many steam pipe explosions are dt th to water hammer action. A plug ( ar water only six inches long propelh only two feet under a pressure of fi Df teen pounds can exert a pressure c gt 0.400 pounds on being suddenly fitoj ca ped. _ tv Soutn Africa of Volcanic Origin be South Africa is of volcanic origii bs and the land in the vicinity of Kir pi berley is so sulphurous that even am i < cannot exist upon it. The average girl may not be able t. name the postmaster general , but sh can tell what kind of a marriage sen Ju Ice is being used before the minlstf cr has read half a doa n lines. y T * fi lTiijmi ! uiij'- gSfe " &pfc - Handling Corn Fodder. Where shocks are made of unbound fodder it will be necessary to employ the aid of a horse for building them and they should be well tied with binder twine. Al most any device will answer for a horse around which to shock the corn. Herewith is shown a device sent by a contributor for tying shocks that is very neces sary. After the shock is made as large as desired , the shaft of this device is thrust through the shock a little above the half way distance from the bottom to the top , the end of the rope is brought around the shock and the end passed over the smooth end of the shaft By giving the handle a few turns the compass of the shock will be so drawn that it can be easily tied. Shocks tied in this manner seldom get twisted or out of condition. For hauling in fodder we have two designs. One of theme is an ordinary sled-like device that is easily construct ed and will be found very handy for hauling fodder. It will be found espe cially handy in loading fodder. Some use this sled for hauling and the shocks are not torn apart in hauling , , but are simply tipped over on the sled and hauled away in this manner. The other device consists in a peculiarly constructed rack to be placed on a low- wheeled wagon. By the aid of a sim- ) le derrick-like contrivance on the rear ? nd of the wagon the shocks are easily ifted on the wagon and placed in a ) osition on the load. We know of sev- sral farmers who have used this de- rice , and they pronounce it good. Hany ways can be provided for mak- ng racks that will be convenient for lauling fodder , and these are only giv- n : as starters along this line. Iowa lomestead. "Winter Sprayinar of Fruit Trees. The spraying of fruit trees during the vinter should not be neglected. Before he leaves start the trunk and every ranch of the tree should be well spray- d with a solution of one pound of copc ler < sulphate in twenty-five gallons of n vater to check scab , codling moth , bird a aoth , tent caterpillar , canker worm , e lum curculio and San Jose scale on p .pple ] trees , to be followed up after the ilossoms fall by the regular bordeaux a aixture of four pounds each of sulj j t hate ] of copper and lime to fifty gallons ' p f water. Some prefer to use six pounds b ulphate of copper instead of four' ' e lounds < , but we are not sure that this is d .ny better than the other , while for ; t teach trees that have put out their p saves the use of three pounds of sul- ihate ] of copper to six or nine pounds f * lime is thought strong enough for ifty ] gallons of water. But we are now peaking of a winter spray before the saves come out The mixture of fifty iounds < each of lime , salt and flowers f sulphur is used on the Pacific coast or the San Jose scale , but in our East- p rn climate it does not seem to be as a ffectual , as the frequent rains wash it a ff. A mixture of pure lime made as a bin whitewash and used on peach trees wo or three times in the winter has een recommended as a spray that will eep the leaves and buds from starting arly enough to be killed by the spring costs. American Cultivator. jt Keeping Late Cabbage. ly Late cabbage laid in shallow trenches oots up will keep well if not placed 30 close together in the trench. Dig a n rench about eight or ten inches deep si nd two and a half to three feet wide , tc utting some cross-pieces of wood in ie bottom of the trench for some odd ? nd end boards to rest upon , making a \ \ jugh kind of platform , leaving a space iii two or three inches beneath. A little in traw Is spread over the boards and the 01 abbages are packed in head down In to : cvo layers , the upper layer being placed etween the angles formed by the cab- ages of the lower one. A coping is laced over to keep them dry and atten- is on paid that they do not get frozen. jnerican Gardening. SJai ai aius The Co-Operative Laundry. us The co-operative laundry should be it ist as practical as the co-operative ti : reamery. There is no labor that Is so te readed by those who have the house- st 'hold duties to perform as is the work. o the laundry , and it is asserted that If n were not for this one item of labor the help question would not take on such a 1 serious aspect as it does at the present time. It is suggested that a laundry foi rural communities would give great satisfaction if not run on the co-opera- live plan , but simply placed on a bus ! ness basis like any other private con cern. If women simply demanded thai laundry should be done away from home there is no question but whal their demand would be satisfied. Iowa Homestead. Artificial Ice Ponds. There are few better sources for get * ting good ice than from a properly con structed artificial pond , because thej can be placed on a stream of pure run- ning water , which can be let off durina the summer months , and allowed to fill up before freezing weather. The bot torn can be cleaned before the water Is let In , and If there is no impurity above the ice will be much purer than froni the ordinary pond. A pond containing one hundred square rods should cui about twenty thousand square feet , ° > five hundred tons , when the Ice vril' average nine inches thick , and this \ would be enough for several families or dairies. For a single family "with small dairy , even six square rods would fill an icehouse ten feet square , twelv feet deep , or about thirty tons , mor than many use for a dairy. If the ic was thicker or was cut more than onct In a year , the amount would be largely increased. Both these might happen Ir ordinary winters in this climate. Th ideal pond should be about 3 feet deep , and with u gravelly or sandy bot tom. Water in the shallow pond freezes more quickly than In a largei pond or a running stream , and when it is filled quickly the ice Is clearer. A grass bottom Is allowable , If it bi cleansed by mowing and raking befon the water is let in. The shallow depth prevents danger from drowning unless one goes in head foremost. For th smaller houses one needs no expensive outfit of Ice tools. A straight-edged board to mark off the squares , a cross cut saw , and an ice chisel , a few pikes , a runway , with blocks and ropes tc draw the ice up the run , are all that cr absolutely necessary. Two men to cut ; two to run it into the house and one to pack it inside will make a good gang for. a small pond. New England Farmer. CL ese Press. Here is a sketch of a cheese press thai we have found to be very useful ; it can be made at a trifling cost. Th up rights are 2x4 inch scantling , 4 or 3 feet long , with pieces of the same fast ened to the bottom for bases ; 30 inches from the floor stout cleats are nailed firmly to the uprights , upon which rests a 2-inch plank , which serves as a table ; upon this plank Is a cheese hoop with a cheese inside to be pressed ; above this is a stout strip (2x4) ( ) with ends resting in mortises cut in the uprights ; this 1 strip should be CHEESE PRESS. 5 or G feet in length ; under It , in th center , is a block which rests upon a round follower the exact size of th cheese to be pressed. The power is fur nished by the eccentrics , or arms , which are merely levers with unequal circular ends ; these work on a bolt which pierces the circle near the top ; to the ends of the arms fasten strings , whict are tied to the side of the table to main tain the pressure. When the cheese Ii placed in the hoop , the follower and block adjusted , by pulling down on th eccentrics a pressure of any required degree is applied upon the cheese. Both the board and strip being elastic , the pressure is maintained as long aa re quired , Jacob Harper , in the Epitom- ist. The Infant Bee. When one thinks that any bee tha * walks out of Its cradle , pale , perhaps V ) - but perfect knows at once all that i * / to be known of the life and duties of a bee , complicated as they are , and com. prising the knowledge of an architect ; wax-modeler , a nurse , a lady's maid , housekeeper , a tourist agency and a field marshal , and then compares thai vast knowledge with the human baby , who is looked upon as a genius If ij gurgles "Goo-goo. " and tries to gouge its mother's eyes' out with its fingers , one realizes that the boasted supe'rior- Ity of the human brain depends lar e ° upon vanity. Rural World. The Milkhouse. In planning a house for handling the milk the main points are ventilation , sunshine , drainage and to have it hand ! an abundant supply Of cold water rhe location should be where the air u * ure , as milk absorbs odors and Is eas- ily tainted and spoiled for butter-mak- ing or any family purpose. The build- Ing should have at least one window n the south side , so as to allow the sun shine in when desired , yet so ar > anged as to exclude the direct sunshint tvhen necessary. The best mulch for a strawberry bee fine horse manure. Early in the spring it should be raked off the rowi md worked In close to the plantsi ising salt hay or any clean material h place on the rows as a mulch aftei he plants are well grown , so as to pro- ect the fruit from dirt and als fc ihade tke soiJL