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IRENE'S
By CHARLOTTE M. BRAEftE.
CHAPTER XXI. \
Sir Hnlbert followed Irene into th
Ifiepths of the wood. Just for the time bf
ing his thoughts were going over an
lover again in fancy every scene he ha
tever had with Irene. If she would bti
forgive him , earth and heaven woul
Eeern to him to grow clearer , his heai
lighter , his life brighter.
* More than once , us he parted th
tranches , the gun that he carried so net
gently caught ; more than once he sai
to himself that he-must be more can
inl , or it would go off. Then he sai
that she had reached a small , pretty oper
Ing in the wood , one evidently where lit
man feet seldom trod ,
i "Irene , " he called , and the sound o
bis voice died away in the tall ferns.
"Irene , " he called again , and this tim
hearing him , she turned quickly round
her face grew white with auger an
scorn.
"He has followed bis 'fancy , ' " sh
' Bold to herself bitterly.
I'l
H i "Irene , I want to speak to you for ;
tew moments. I have followed you s
long and so far. "
Great heaven ! what followed ?
i The scornful answer died on her lips
tThere was a sudden crash , a cry , th <
feharp ring of a shot , and he was lyin ;
n the long grass , with his face on th <
pround.
' With her quick , keen instinct , she knev
| rt once what had happened. In parting
the branches of the trees to reach tin
open leel his gun had caught , in tryin ;
to recover it he fell , and the content
JDf the gun entered his side.
He fell , wounded , but not mortally ; al
this she saw at a glance. A deep inoni
jcame from his lips , and she stood by ii
silence. With a desperate effort he turn
ed over on Vis side and gasped for breath
Qhe ? fall had not stunned him , but h <
. "was quite unable to move.
"Oh , help ! " he cried , "help ! "
. She did not move or stir , and then th <
strong man fainted from excess of pain
How long he lay in that swoon he did noi
'know ; it was the very torture of pair
, that woke him from it. He woke to fine
her still standing by him , mute , silent
motionless.
"Oh , help me ! " he cried ; "Irene , hel [
me ! " He might as well have cried Ou !
to the grass , the ferns , the trees , for sill
the heed she took. "Irene , " he cried
again , while the great drops of agonj
and exhaustion fell from his brow ,
"Irene , go quickly to the house and tell
them what has happeeud ; all the shot is
here in my right side. Bid them briu
ia litter ; I cannot move. "
1 The words came out in gasps ; he could
scarcely breathe for pain. But the Duch
ess of Bayard did not move or speak ; her
lace had grown very white , and there
, was a strange , defiant light upon it. He
looked at her in wonder ,
j "Oh , Irene , hasten , " he said. "I am in
.such pain , such terrible pain. My side
burns as though it were on fire. Ah ,
help me quickly , or I shall die. "
J There was a gleam in her face that
almost frightened him it was so much
jlike madness. Thou she came a little
Hearer to him , and. bending down , looked
into his face.
| "Can you hear me ? " she asked ; "can
iyou understand ? "
I "Yes. I hear , Irene. Help me , for
heaven's sake ! "
i "Listen. You have read the Bible , per
haps , when you were a child at school.
: Do you remember that when strange
nations fell into the hands of thelews it
.was said that heaven had delivered them
into the hands of their enemies ? Do you
remember that ? "
j "Yes , " he gasped. "Help me , Irene ! "
'
"As it happened to the Jews , so it has
happened to me. " she said ; "you are de
livered into my hands ; you have fallen
.living into my hands. "
} "Oh , Irene , hasten for help for me ! "
j "No , " she replied , slowly. "I shall bring
no help to you. "
f "Bring no help ! " he cried. "You are
jmad. I shall die if you do not. "
[ "You must die. " she replied. "The
life of the body is as nothing compared
to the life of the soul less than nothing.
'You ' tried to kill my soul. You would
tave taken from me my good name and
jfair repute , and it is just heaven knows
'that ' it is ju-t that 1 , in my turn , should
( take from you the life of your body. It
{ is but just ! " she cried , passionately ,
j His eyes grew livid with horror , his
/eyes / terrible with fear.
"You cannot mean it , Irene. You are
S woman , gentle and tender of heart , I
tknow , dear. You are trying to frighten
jme. And I am sorry , sorry for my sin ,
'sorry ' to my heart for the wrong I did
[ you. I was following you just for that ,
Irene , to ask your pardon to ask you to
'say that you had forgiven me. Do you
' know that if you leave me here , without
fcelp , I shall die the most cruel , lingering ,
Itorturing death ? "
j "As my soul would have died , " she
.gaid , in a pitiless voice. "I swore to be
Revenged on you. I had but to speak one
word to my husband and he would have
'eet his heel on your face. That would
have been merciful revenge. I prefer
ithis. "
{ "I would not believe you , Irene. " he
.cried , "if you went on your knees and
.swore it. "
She knelt down among the fern and
dead plants.
"I swear that I will do it , " she said ,
the same strange gleam of defiance
! < ra her face. "I will leave you lying hero
'to ' die in punishment of the wrong you
'did ' me. " i
"Irene , " he said , "you are mad ; you
must be mad I Do you know that this
.Would be murder ? "
"It is vengeance , " she said , "righteous ;
vengeance ! I have thought over it by
night and brooded over.it by day , what I j
hould do to be avenged ; how I could ,
reach you ; how I could best make you I
feel ; and now I exult that you are doliv- '
ered over to me , bound , helpless as peo
ple were delivered to the tortures of old.
It Is righteous vengeance. You tortured
my soul , I avenge myself on your body. "
"Oh , heaven ! " he cried. "Cnn this be
true ? To die while the sun .shines , and ,
the birds sing to lie here through the ;
long , silent hours of day and night ! Oh. i
Irene , for heaven's sake take pity on me. :
have mercy on me ! Do you know , " urn !
be broke down with a terrible sub. "do |
you know that it will take a week to die
I am so strong ah , so strong ! But yo
do not mean it. A man might do such
deed no woman could. "
Her face neither softened nor treir
bled ; she looked quite as steadily at bin
"Say what you will. I shall leave yo
here to die ; no prayers , uo pleading wil
prevail , and what is more. I shall hav
the courage to come and see you die. jus
as , day by day , you watched the s\o\ \
crushing of my soul. "
"Is there no help for me ? " he groaned
"No , none. The sunbeams will b
warm and bright over you ; wonderin ;
birds , with bright eyes , will porch 01
the boughs overhead , and will watch you
the loaves will fall over you , and th
wind murmur all the saddest songs ? ii
your ears. The hour will come when th
same wind will bear your soul to tin
judgment seat remember then the wroUj
you have done to me. "
She turned slowly away. Before shi
quite left she dn > w from a pocket thei
false wedding ring , and scornfully tosse <
it towards him. lie , lying there in hii
agony , watched the blue dress as it di.s
appeared among the treos. He cried ulnm
as she went , uttering every implorinj
word of which he could think as she wen ;
away , with the sound of those terribli
cries ringing in her ears.
CHAPTER XXII.
Back through the sunlight and gloom
through the tangled brake and the ferns
through tile great forest aisles to tin
beaten track of the woods , once more un
der the blue sky with the fragrant ail
whispering round her an altered worn
an. There was little trace in this hag
gard face of the duchess ; all the exquis
ile coloring had faded , the lips wen
white , the wide-open eyes had a fright
ened , startled look , the dainty bloom umj
the freshness , the youth , the brightness
had gone , leaving it like a stone mask.
She entered the house by the pretty
side door in the rose garden. Almost the
first person she met was the duke , who
had returned from the shooting party.
She averted her face lest , seeing it , he
should mistake it for the face of the
dead.
"Irene , my darling ! " he cried , "where
have you been ? Your dress is covered
with dust "and grass. "
Her heart almost stood still at the
words. The pale face of the wounded
man seemed to float before her , his voice
to fill her ears. Then she remembered
that she must be herself , that she must
speak and act naturally , or he would
suspect suspect. Involuntarily she rais
ed her white hands and looked at them
to see if a red stain was on them.
Her husband saw the curious gesture ,
and , not dreaming bf its cause , said to
her :
"Are your hands dusty ? We had no
dust at Durutou it has been a very
pleasant day. "
She mastered herself so far as to
speak , but her voice was quite unlike any
other sound ; the horror of the scene was
on her yet.
"I have been wandering about the
grounds , " she said. "I had a headache
and could not talk. "
He looked at her and cried out in gen
uine alarm.
"You do look ill , Irene ; you must rest
an hour before dinner. It is nearly five
now. "
Five ! And she had left the wood at
three. Ah. then , two hours of this mor
tal agony were over two long , cruel ,
dreary hours.
"Have all the party returned ? " she
asked.
"All but Sir Ilnlbert , " be replied.
"I.adv Estmcre seems anxious about
him. "
J he could not help the horrible blanch
ing of her face or the shaking ol her
hands.
"He did not go with us , " continued tlu
[ hike. "He followed us to Durnttm ;
strange to say , we saw nothing of him.
One of the keepers passed him in what i
tailed the Lower Woods , and no one
has seen him since. Without doubt he
lias made up a capital bag. "
She knew that it was a mistake ; no
keeper could have seen him , for the best
of ail reasons he was not there. The
keeper must have seen someone else
tvhoin he mistook for Sir Hulbert. She
saw nt oence and quickly how the mis
take would benefit her.
She went away , smiling to herself with
bitter scorn , but she could not endure her
terrible burden , from the horrible tragedy
lonely room ; she must go down to the
adies and talk to them anything to
make her forget , anything to take her
: hotights from the greensward and its
: erribli > burden , from the horrible tra-
jedy , on which the sun was shining.
She met Lady Estuiere in the hail , whj
vent up to her with a wistful face.
"Duchess , she said , "I was looking for
, -ou. I want a few words of comfort
ibout my husband. Sir Hulbert. "
"What about him ? " she asked , her lips
> urning. and so stiff she could hardly
irticulate.
"He followed the duke's party to D uni
on , and none of the'm has seen him. I
im afraid he has missed his way. I
vould give all I have in this world to
; CHJ him just nt this moment I would ,
ndeed. You always comfort everyone
lomfort me. "
She tried to laugh , but the sound was
torrible. even to herself.
"What comfort do you want ? Are you
; o love sick that if your husband be a
ew minutes late you must fancy all
Liu.l.s of evil things have happened to
LHy Bstmere looked up in wonder.
"How strange your voice is. Surely
on are not well. "
"I am quite well ; and I am inclined to
hink that you are fanciful , " she said.
"I hope I am , duchess , for I feel really
inhappy about my husband. I had a
trange feeling , a strange presentimeut ,
riii-ii he was go'ng ' away as though some
vii was hanging over him. "
"You n ro not well. " said the duchess ;
'those fancies often come when one feels
feak and languid. "
The dinner bell rang , the duchess gath-
red up her dress of blue velvet , with its
ich , Derailing lace ' and diamond ' ormiT
iients. . . „ . , .
Thny talked much of Sir Hulbert dur
ing dinner , perhaps out of pity for U
paje face of his young wife.
They laughed at the idea that anythii
had happened to him ; perhaps carrie
awayv love of sport , he had gone fu
ther into the wood and so had mis I :
them ; but that he should be lost was a
nonsense. He would be here soon , laugl
ing at his misadventure.
Ladies left the table , the gentlemt
drew their chairs nearer together , tl
daylight faded out of the skies , and y <
he had not returned ; but they did n <
begin to feel really uneasy until 1
o'clock bad struck and there was uo sig
of him.
CHAPTER XXIII.
As the evening wore on and the beaut
ful face of the young wife grew pale , tl
gentlemen did their best to sustain the ;
courage. Such things often happen , the
said ; Sir Hulbert might have missed hi
way and sought a night's refuge in soni
of the neighboring villages or mansion :
he might have met with some friend wh
bad detained him : he might have gone t
spend the night witk some of the ueigl
bors. and have sent a messenger wh
had delayed : a thousand probable idea
suggested themselves to them , all c
which were possible and probable.
Earlier than usual that evening cam
to a close. No one seemed inclined fo
the usual evening's amusement , for dune
ing. charades or music. Although the
would not apprehend danger there wa
no doubt that the absence of Sir Hulber
weighed them down.
The greater part of the visitors retire
early. The duke , with one of his fooi
men. went down to. the keeper's cottag
to send the men out to the woods. Lad ;
Estniere went to her room , where he
maid sat up to comfornHer the greate
part of the night , and the Duchess o
Bayard went to rest. She had barel ;
patience to wait while the maid took oi
that sumptuous dress of blue velvet , wit ]
its rich , trailing laces , and the diamond
with their shining light ; she hurried he :
and seemed possi-ssed by the very spiri
of impatience.
"I am going to read , Marcia , " said he
grace ; "give me the blue dressing godwn
and you can go. "
But frrst she must take the tliamon ;
stars from the queenly head and brusl
out the silken shower of golden hair
More than once while that was beinj
done the duchess asked the question :
"What kind of night is it , Marcia-
does the moon shine ? "
And each time the maid answered :
"No. your grace , it is dark yet ; but th <
clouds are breaking over the moon. "
More than once she started so violent
ly that the golden waves of hair wen
almost torn from the girl's hand.
"Did you hear a cry ? " she would say.
And the maid's answer was always :
"No. your grace ; it is the wind amouj
the trees ; the wind is high to-night. "
At last the door closed and the inaic
was gone.
Ireen was alone , and she locked th (
door , lest any interruption should come.
She dew rather than walked to the win
dow and opened it quickly ; she leaned
half out of it , and bent her golden head
as though she was listening intently. Jusl
then the clouds parted , and the moon
shwue out clear as day. Those silvei
beams never fell on any sight more tragic
than the beautiful head and face framed
in roses and passion Howers , bent with
such eager , desperate intent.
The windows of her room looked to
ward that part of the woods where the
living horror lay. She could not take her
eyes from the group of trees that led to
it. The wind stirred the branches , and
they were like great arms stretching to
her , like huge giants beckoning to her.
She cried out with terror , and then the
clouds parted still further , and rhe moon
shone out clear and bright as day ; it was
as though a flood of living , clear silver
bad fallen over everything , and she knew
she knew now that light would fall rn
the upturned face , the dark , handsome
face she had loved with such a passion
ate love , on the white hands that would
now probably be tearing the grass and
beating the ground in the wildest agony.
The moon would be shining down upon
liim ; the light lying on nis face and hair
just as it lay on hers ; the wind would
whisper , and moan , and wail : the pure ,
pale stars with golden eyes would be
watching him ; the night birds singing
> ver him : the hares pause in their leap-
ngs at the terrible sight before them ;
the bright-eyed squirrels would halt in
jok'um wonder as thvy saw what lay on
: he ground.
She shuddered and trembled as she
; hought of it ; she stretohed out her hands
: o the east , where he lay. Her whole
; oul seemed to go out to him with a rush
) f pain. She clasped her hands as she
. ried to herself :
( To br > continued. )
Sciciioc Could Not Explain Ik
A distinguished naturalist recently
jave a dinner to a number of learned
men. At the conclusion of the repast
; he company went out into the garden ,
n the center of which stood a large
jlass globe , on a pedestal. Happening
: o touch this globe one of the guests
liscovered. to his amazenjent , that tt
ivas much warmer on the shady side
: han on the side facing the sun. He
rnmediately communicated bis discov-
; ry to his friends.
A warm argument sprang up , and in
: he course of the debate the phenome-
lon was attributed to the law of re-
lection or repulsion or something
squally formidable.
The host , however , had his suspicion
is to the correctness of these theories ,
ind sent for his gardener. When he
> ut in an appearance , the gentleman
: aid :
"John , can you tell us why this globe
s warmer ou the shady than on the
; unny side ? "
"Well , " replied the man , slowly , "the
act is , I just turned it rounA , for I was
ifraid that the heat would crack it"
Art.
"A farmer ought to read a great deal , |
ust the same as any business man. " i
"Yes , " answered Farmer Comtossel. i
It keeps me so busy posting up on rail-
oad rates and the tariff that I'm some- ,
imes afraid I won't have time to raise I
he stuff to send to market" Wash-
ugton Star.
we hear a girl called
willowy , " we are reminded of a cer- j
tiin round-shouldered tree that stands ,
'
/ufa its feet in a mudhole , . and can't
ee where the compliment'comes 'In. i
GOOO
Short Stories
The other day a Senator , who hti
been engaged in a sharp tilt with a cc
league , as he met a Senate employ
asked : "Well , do you think that
made a fool , of myself ? " "Senator
was the reply , "If I said that you mac
a fool of yourself , I would be disn
spectful. If I said you did not.
would be saying what is not true. "
According to the Pall Mall Gaxett
Gaudersheim , a German village , ha
recently been en fete. , The occasio
was the honoring of a hem which ha
laid its thousandth egg. Many of th
houses were decorated with flag :
while in the evening the proprietor c
the hen entertained his friends at
supper at which the principal dish wn
a gigantic omelet. The function was
splendid success.
A detachment of British soldiers n
cently visited a * deserted Boer faru
In the sitting-room they found a p
ano , to which a pathetic note was al
1 ached , entreating them not to smas
it , as it was a present from somebody'
dear mother , and consequently a sov
venir which was much valued. Th
hard-hearted yeomen , of course
promptly proceeded to search it , am
found it crammed with gunpowder am
caps.
It is said that Bishop Walker , no ?
Bishop of Western New York , attaine <
more fame on account of his "cathe
dral car , " as it struck the imaginatioi
of people in the East and in England
than was warranted by any religioui
results gained from it. The car lai <
idle for some years at Carrington , N
D. , and recently haa been purclmsec
by a clothing firm , having been re
modeled for that purpose. When Bish
op Walker went to London , he was al
ways introduced as "the bishop of tin
cathedral car , " and he was iievei
known to resent it. At a dinner ii
England he sat near Lord Roseberry
then prime minister , who turned t (
him with this apt mot : "Well , rr.j
dear Bishop , your idea is certainly ji
new one. I had heard of tin * churd
militant , and the church triumphant
but 1 had never heard of the churcl ;
ambulant. "
It is said that Lord Charles Beres
ford , on lirst entering the House oi
Commons a very young man , in IS'JS ,
was inexpressibly addicted to playing
pranks of all kinds. One old mem
ber , who suffered from gout , used tc
retire to one of the back benches un
der the reporters' gallery , behind the
speaker's chair , and , taking off his
boots , sleep soundly until awakened
by the ringing of the bells which pre
cedes a division. One night the old
gentleman , on being aroused from his
slumbers by a division , hastily put on
one boot , but no trace of the other
could he find. It had disappeared in
some mysterious fashion. The whips
found him under the bench , distract
edly searching for the boot , and by
force bundled him into the lobby , with
one boot off and the other boot on ,
amid rounds of good-natural laughter.
Later on the missing boot was "acci
dentally" discovered by Lord Charles
Beresford under his own particular
seat.
NEVER SEEN BY PLEBEIANS.
Pc-rerty Keeps Jlijili Society People in
France from the Public View.
Few foreigners who visit France ever
Jbtaiu even a passing glimpse of the
L'eal aristocracy of the country. This
is the averment of Ilugues Le Iloux ,
who is now on a visit to this country ,
made to the students of Columbia Col
lege recently "These people of th-i
xcuuine aristocracy , " he said , "are in
inancial poverty because of the indus-
: rinl expansion of the times , which has
lestroyed their former means of sup-
> ort. They are inaccessible to foreign-
; rs because real French society is sen
sitive to its lack of funds and realizes
ts inability to entertain foreign guests
u the style to which they have been
iccustomed. Visitors to Paris meet
he 'bourgeoise' and the cosmopolitan
people who come there from all coun-
ries but France , and they beliove this
eprescnts real French society. "
"It is Impossible , " said M. Le Eoux
it the start of his address , "to judge
airly of French society to-day ; it is
00 complex. It was possible to do so ,
lowever , in the seventeenth and eigi- ]
eenth centuries , when there was a
: ommon ideal of living and loving. For
ociety at that time the example was
et by the court , an society was its
> wn object. Since the days of the rev-
lution this state of affairs has vanish-
d. France is in a process of perpetual
hange and is in a state of evolution.
Vhat the resultvill be cannot be fore-
old. The middle class people of the
resent day are following the ideals of
he seventeenth century aristocracy ,
'hey try to set the pace , and it is thus
lie stability of modern French society
3 shaken. It is difficult for foreign-
rs to meet the representatives of real
'rench society to-day , as they keep to
tiemselves.
"The great mistake of the foreign
rorld to-day is that It judges French
Dciety by the conception of it given
1 the novels of modern French novel-
its , especially In those of Paul Bour-
et and Guy De Maupassant. These
ivo novelists not only fall to describe
ie true characteristics of French so-
iety , but they describe social condi-
ons as found nowhere on the globe ,
hey take Individual psychological
ises and special Instances for their
clineation of character that foreign
; aders naturally suppose representa-
ve of France , but in reality are-'typi-
il either of some othftr other country
i/r or
is not real French life.
"I have in mind a case where bol
Bourget Mid De Maupassant took f'
the subject of their novels a certa
notorious woman of Paris , who final !
died in an insane asylum. Thou-j
this woman was of a foreign countr.
the novelists labelled her with a From
name and the natural impression g-
abroad that she was typical of Frcnc
life. "
WAR PAINT OF BATTLESHIPS
Confusion of Gunners' Sijjht the Im
portant Tiling : to Be Sought.
A question of the best color of "wa
paint" for a man-of-war is now bein
discussed by uaval experts. For a Ion
time neutral tints have been the f :
vorite for painting a ship for activ
war service. The United States , as i
well known , painted its ships a da
slate color before sending them i
fight the Spaniards. The British hav
been using a khaki-colored paint , but i
is believod that this tint is easil.
"ranged. " In fact , khaki has bci-i
found anything but a safe color fo
either ships or men. The Bom-s dt
Clare that they can "spot" khaki at ;
great distance , though when the colo
was lirst adopted It was thought ti
have the quality of comparative invis
ibility.
A color now highly commended to
the uniforms of soldiers or for the wa
paint of ships is gray-green. ( Ireen ic
said to confuse the eye of a shjii'j ,
shooter more than any other color : m <
has the same effect upon the eye of i
chip's gunner. The British admiralit :
is now making extensive experiment-
in tho painting of warships and ther-
is now a large party of expertsvh
favor obtrusive color schemes. Thh
is harking back a century at least
for Nelson favored tho painting of war
ships in black and white checks , a *
such a paUern , ho declared , confused
the gunners of the enemy and pre
vented accurate aim. Tinadvocates oi
bright color schemes take the saint
ground as Nelson ; that invisibility is
out of the question with ships and tho
only thing sought after in painting a
man-of-war should be to create con
fusion of aim.
It has often been said that red was a
deadly color , says the New York Mail
and Expre-s , which would never be
worn by troops in battle again. Now ,
however , red has found manjadvo
cates , for , while the color has great
visibility , yet it is also possessed of
valuable deceptive qualities. To judge
distances accurately with the objective
point oue of bright scarlet or red in al
most impossible. As accurate range is
everything in modern warfare , red is
coming into favor again.
A BAD HALF-HOUR.
Meeting of Foaiucr Lovers on Their
\Vedaiiisj Tour.
She is very pretty , and no one won
ders that her husband is much in love
with her unto this day , but she tells
this story of a bad half hour on her
wedding journey :
"I Avas IS , " she said , "when I was
married , and had been engaged to my
husband a year , but preceding both en
gagement and marriage I was sort o
engaged , school girl fashion , to anoth
er young fellow. It was one of thosa
intangible engagements that melt into
thin air Avheu the real prince comes ,
but fervid enough while they last. In
this case my interest in the affair cool
ed with the rapidity of a collapsiut !
balloon , and , as the youth lived in a
distant city , no embarrassing explanu- (
tions were necessary.
"So I Avas uiarrieJ , and the wedding
journey included a stop of several ,
clays in a town on the Ohio river , ,
where we had a cozy table all to our
selves at the hotel. It was at dinner j
3ne day that the patriarchal waiter ap- !
proached and asked if we would object |
to another gentleman and lady
ilaced at our table.
"Bride like yourself , missy , " he add- ,
jd confidentially as he passed inj
jhair. In a moment he ushered to their ,
places the other couple , and I looked ujj.
: o encounter my former fiance , con ,
; ternation and amazement written on s
very line of his face. Lacking the wit j
> r wisdom of experienced years , I drop
> ed my eyes without further recogni-
: ion than rapid paling and bushing of ,
countenance , and he , following 1115
ead , began discussing the menu witt
lis wife.
"The dinner proceeded In such ap
) alling silence , so far as I was con- ,
: ernetl , as to fairly paralyze my bus-
> and , and explanations were in order |
LS soon asve returned to our apart-f
nents. Then how he laughed and
vent In search of the rival couple , only. .1
o find they had left the hotel imme-l
[ lately after the meal , and AVC hava
lever heard of them since , " Baltimore , i
; un.
Identifying : the Species.
Lord Justice Math BAT is a man of
uch mild and kindly exterior , Avith
uch gentle Aolce and manner , that ho
; lves the impression of being a simpla
: indly layman rather than an expert
nd profound lawyer. This was evi-
ently the idea of a professional seller
f painted birds who some years ago
let him In the neighborhood of the
, aw Courts and , exhibiting one of his c
irds , asked him if he coulti tell to !
rhat species It belonged. The judgo't '
topped , examined the bird with jrreat
are , pretended to admire the guudy
lurnase , examined It again , and then
? raarked : "I do not think I have ever
? en a bird exactly like this , but , judg-
ig from the old proverb that 'Birds of
feather flock together , " I sliojld say
: was a jailbird ! "
Many a man leads nn. lionest life be-
tuse he doesn't relish the Idea of
earing clothes with srripes running
ie wrong way.
FEUD IS STILL ON.
Wouldn't Ex
Why the Monntaineer
tend the Olive Branch.
"I had been told long enough before
' he had
Davis' cabin that
I got to Joe
had a feud with the Harpers for tn
past fifteen years , and that at least a
couple of lives had been sacriflet } , "
eaid a Detroit man who makes peri
odical trips In the mountain district
of the South. "I kept clear of tlia
subject until AAgot our pipes out
after supper , and then I approached
It cautiously. I did not find him at all
reticent however.
' "Yes. I have been fussin' with th
Harpers for a long time noAV , " h
calmly replied.
" 'IIoAV did it begin ? ' I asked.
" 'Tradin' mewls , I reckon. '
" 'Isn't that a pretty small thing t
quarrel over for fifteen years ? '
" 'Yes , it sorter looks that Avay , btft
Harper killed my brother Dan , you
illOW. '
" 'And some one killed his brother
Sam. '
- 'Deed they did. Had to do it to
even up. you know. '
" 'Well , why not let that end it ? ' I
persisted. 'If you say you'll cry quits
I'll go and see Harper and see if he
\voift do the same. '
" - ' he sloAvly an
TH think it OA-er ,
swered , and the subject AVUS dropped.
"i was giAen a shakedown on the
Boor when bedtime came. " continued
the narrator , according to the Detroit
I-rue Press , "and when it was sup
posed that I Avas asleep the cabineer
said to his wife :
" 'Would you make it up with tn *
Harpers , L-inda ? '
" 'Reckon not , ' she replied.
" 'For why ? '
" 'Bekase , if you do his Jim Avitt
want to marry our Mary , and our Jane
will want to marry his Tom , and Ave'll
git so tangled up that the only fan
j'o'll hev will be rollin * down hill on a
log. '
"Next morning the man said he'd
thought the whole matter over care-
Cully and had come to the conclusion.
that mixing things up might be dan
gerous , and he Avould accompany mo
for half a mile on iny journey in hopes
to get a shot at a Harper and keep
matters straight. "
GOV. HOGG'S NEW WAITER.
y the Old Servant Gave Way to a.
Second One.
At Beaumont lately the waiter who
served former Governor Hogg of Tex
ts was oue George , a fable-skinned
gentleman of numerous accouiplieh-
nents. George is a model waiter.
Sacli day at dinner George would re-
: eive fron ? the Governor his tip , $1.
George reveled in wealth. Lie was
he envied of all thy other waiters.
Ie was the hajipy possessor of a "good
hing. "
The other day when the Governor
utered the dining-room a strange
waiter stood behind his chair.
"Where's George ? " asked the GOT-
ruor brusquely.
The new waiter bowed low. "I'sa
ouah waitah now , sah , " he said soffc-
? -
"But Where's George ? " again asked
tie Governor. .
Again his new retainer assured himi
I'se youah waitah now. "
The Governor looked up from his
aper sharply. He was somewhat mys-
ified , and with increasing emphasis
emanded to know
where George was ,
nyhow.
"Well , you see , sah , " began the new-
amer with some hesitation , "Gawgo
ud I was out las' night playing craps ,
awge went broke ; I won his pile
hen" here his voice dropped lower
nd his manner was confidential "ho
ut you up agin three dollahs , and I
on. So , I'se youah waiter. " Detroit
Durnal.
Bonnet or Bouquet ?
An amusing incident arising from
e flowery headgear affected by AVOIU-
i is described in Lippincott's Maga-
ne. The door bell of a certain physl-
an of New York rang late one night ,
ipposing that the summons was from
me one who needed his services , ha
ent down to the door. This was the
suit :
A colored man stood there , holding a
ige paper package from Avhich buds
id leaves were protruding.
"Is Miss Ca'line Ward in ? " asked tha
an.
"She has retired , " returned the doe.
r. Miss "Ca'line" Ward was his col-
ed cook.
'Ts ' sorry , sir , to call so late Dai
is a jam in de street cars. I'll leab
3 fo' her , sah , ef you Avill kindly gib
to her in de mo'nln' . "
'Certainly , " said the doctor. He took
e bun ale carefully , closed the door ,
d carried the flowers to the kitchen ,
tore he placed a pan in the sink , turn-
on a few inches of water into it ,
refully pressed the base of the pack-
e into the water , and went back to
a , thinking how pleased Miss "Ca-
ie" would be.
Che next morning he went Into the
: chen parlv. to CLe cook boldjng
dripping bundle.
Her manner was
lllgerent , and her tone Avas In keei >
t with it
'Ef ' I had de pusson heah dat did
t. " said she , "I'd empty de kittle on
a ! I'd jes' like to know who pat
' new hat In dat pan ! "
Those Foolish QueBtions.
Wnat's the matter. Smith ? Are you
lering Avith the toothache ?
Of course you idiot ! What else
iM I do with itr-Philadelphia
&S3.
i boy Is usually ready to eat ever *
ie he stops playing.
f possible , do not associate wltk
ise who anger you.