IHE VALENTINE DEMOCRA'
I. SL KICK , Pub.I her.
TALENTINE ,
The .shirking sen-ajit generally be
a hard master.
' .Honor comes on crutches , but is able
pot up a lively sprint in leaving.
Mention has been made of volcanic
--tufa , "We trust the odor Is unlike tut
twiHTers sold at that cigar store.
A girl frequently lets a good chance
b while waiting for a better one-
s different with a widow.
In Tlew of the fact that his rent has
&eea Increased Russell Sage finds i <
Impossible to go on making lavish gifts
* tp charity.
One of the lessons of the hour geems
t be that It Is a risky thing to build
m city Tvithiu shooting distaiu-e of an
extinct volcano.
When you think you have troubles
, jif your own compare them with the
trials and tribulations of the people
Island of Martinique.
Talk about your volcanic explosions !
Do you remember thai date when the
Why did not get his little bottle ex-
actlj on the tick of the clock ?
It Is quite likely that the automobile
jcorchers will have several unpleasant
xpcriences with the runil it's id puts
before they reach an agreement.
Mary MaeLane received over sixty
Offers of marriage within throe weeks.
-Alary ought to accept some one of the
sixty and thus end her troubles by as
suming them.
The military hero is occasionally sur
prised to find that a large percentage
* f the public is not awed by his re-
toarks nearly so much HB are the sol-
liers under his command.
-Selling cigarettes to school children
IB a way of scooping out their brains
that entitles the offender to not only
a tidy dose of the law. but a large
j ewter medal as the champion mean
.man.
Somebody shot at the Emperor of
China , the other day , the bullet going
.high above his head. The emperor
might luarn something to his advant
age by searching the empress dow
ager.
Dr. Talmage left $300.000. Still , in
these days an insignificant little wad
like that cannot be expected to sub
ject one to any of the difficulties the
rich man is supposed to encounter in
paining entrance to heaven.
With pomp and ceremony , a Hi-year-
old boy was crowned Ivinic of Spain the
other day , and assumed the responsi
bility of rulinjr l8.MHUtx ) ) of people. Of
course , this boy ruler will , in u meas
ure , be governed by the1 Ministry. Uut
-should he assume a IK Herein attitude
and refuse to be. guided by his elders.
It may mean a sorry time for Spain.
As to tho needs of his people , and upon
affaire of diplomacy , this boy monarch
Js prolmbli ; abovit as unfamiliar as
would be an Infant with the mechan
ism of the locomotive. What a fare ?
It is , then , to expect a land to be wisely
ruled by a sovereign so immature ! To
this country , where the ruler is se
lected by the people , and where he
jnust be one of known wisdom and ex
perience , the farce at Madrid seems
ailly and childish. It takes brains and
.the consent of the people to reach the
exalted position of ruler of America.
" In Europe the accident of birth regu
lates who shall rule. Bruins are not
considered , cupabilit" is not questioned.
Before the selectmen of a certain
small town in Massachusetts would
Tote funds for a suggested improve
ment they used to say to each other ,
-better wait and see if Mr. Blank
/won't do something. " ' Mr. Blank was
v . wealthy man who made his summer
-home in the town. lie had not only
spent a great deal\of money on his
own place , but had built a church and
a school , and had contributed gener
ously for all the public needs. To a
member of his family who loved the
"lawn more wisely , perhaps , jinrt quite
s well , it seemed that the relation be
tween the Blanks and the community
was not altogether natural or whole
some. The people were becoming too
dependent. They neeuVd to be stirred
to do something for themselves. As a
first stop toward self help she organ
ized a village improvement associa
tion. That was a turning-point in the
history of the town. In the four years
that have passed the little society has
embellished the common , helped to re
build the roads , aud established a new
Ide il of beauty Cor private houses and
-grounds. But the best of its achieve
ments is a revival of public spirit. J
Nowadars the people do not forget to J
* now strangers tho church that Mr.
Blank built ; but neither do they fail
to point proudly to other improvements
&udk.say , JCSYp did that. " They love
aud honor the rich man as their geu-
* rwix friend aud benefactor , bat they
ttre no longer in danger of elevating
' him to the position of a fentlal chief
tain and becoming his humble retain
ers. Better HO. for rich men must die ;
< hey cannot always make permanent
provision , for all who have relied on
-41icm , and the more absolute the Jo-
peadence has been the more helpless
Ss an individual or Institution or mu-
icipality when the rich man i ? surt-
wittidnnvn. The best way to
show gratitude , the only safe cours *
for the beneficiary to take , is to ac
cept every such gift , not as an excuse
to wait for another , but as a fresh In
centive to personal effort.
One of the mysteries which no school
of philosophy has solved is the rela
tionship between mud and marbles.
No sooner have the spring rains con
verted the surface of the earth into si
glutinous paste than every boy feela
an instinctive longing to kneel on the
sidewalk with his knuckles on the
ground. There seems to be no logical
reason why marbles should invariably
appear in the spring or tops in the
autumn , nor why a whole juvenile
community should be smitten with the
pea-shooter epidemic at a particular
season , yet the phenomenon is as fa
miliar as sunrise. Annual rotation ,
however , is but one phase of the con
stantly changing fashion In games. It
bears , perhaps , some such relationship
to the whole as the dailjr spin of the
earth on her axis bears to her annual
journey round the sun. Croquet , arch
ery , tennis and golf rise , climb to the
zenith of popular favor and dip to
their setting ; yet their decline is only
temporary. The Interest In archery
which reached its height twenty years
ago was but the recurrence of an ear
lier wave of popularity , and another
wave is already in sight. The tide of
tennis rose to its flood , ebbed , turned ,
and now is rising again , both in En
gland and America. The literature of
golf is almost as entertaining and
nearly as extensive as the links , and
abounds in tales of the giants who
played tho game hundreds of years
ago. Croquet , too , lias been but in an
eclipse from which It is even now
emerging ; and as for ping-pong , the
new star of the athletic firmament , its
orbit will doubtless be mapped in time.
In one way , at least , the changes in
the fashion of amusements are an ad
vantage. Each sport appeals especial
ly to a certain number of people , and
no sport which becomes really popu
lar ever goes wholly out. Each leaves
its residuum of devotees , and so the
aggregate number of those who take
some form of outdoor exercise is in
creased.
All of us know a great deal from per
sonal experience about the adulteration
of food , but we leani more and more of
the deceit of the world even' day. A
bulletin issued by the dairy and food
department of Michigan gives out some
interesting figures and information in
regard to the matter , and tells of the
contest of that State with those who
would feed the community upon adul
terated food. The bulletin gives the
State law passed for the purpose of in
suring pure food for the people , aud
then tells of over 100 prosecutions that
have been conducted by the State au
thorities , thirty-six of the defendants
being convicted , while decisions are
still pending in thirty-four cases. It is
shown that during one recent month
the State chemist had fifty-seven sam
ples of food submitted to him , and that
in this number only eleven were found
to be pure within the meaning of the
law. Many of the adulterated foods
were harmless , but all were deceitful
as to their description , and their sale
was obtaining money under false pre
tenses. The chomist njpurts that a cof
fee sold under the name of "coffee sift-
ings. " was found to contain 10 per cent
of stones and sand , of husks aud stems
no less than lli per cent , while the real
coffee berries that were whole and un
broken were very few. In flavoring
extracts a startling condition of affairs
was found. Of four samples of vanilla
submitted , not one had more than a
trace of genuine vanilla in it , while one
did not 'even1 have that trace. The
chemist found imitation fruit jellies
colored to perfection , mustard without
any mustard in it , molasses that was
half glucose , pepper that was half
dust , ground coffee that was chickory ,
etc. , a list so long that it would make
you tired to read it Michigan evident
ly 1ms a good law on food adulterations.
Articles very properly must be labeled
for just what they are. Oleomargarine
can be sold , but it must be labeled for
just what it is. and so with every other
food products. Evidently other States
have much to learn from Michigan in
matters of this kind.
Toothpicks Tabooed.
Whether or not the final course at a
meal shall be toothpicks is a mooted
question. Many say so , and have good
reasons for their division. A handsome
woman and her young daughter enter
ed a swell place one day this week and
ordered an elegant luncheon. They
were" tastefully gowned and money
seemed plentiful with them , and the
waiter in attendance was unrem. ng
in ins attention. Finally he placed a
small stand of toothpicks on the table.
"Remove those instanlly , " said the
older woman ; "it's a vulgarity I cannot
tolerate. I would just as soon clean
my teeth at a table as use a toothpick
publicly. "
" \Vhat a crank that woman was. "
sneered a pretty girl at a table close
by ; "maybe she was .something like me
honest country youth when offered a
linger bowl and napkin , replied , "Thank
you. but I done washed l > "fo * 1 cum. ' "
Louisville Times.
Involution of Treacle.
The word treacle has undergone * an
add modification. At first it was ap-
)15e < l to such decoctions of roots or
) lher substances as were deemed
Beneficial in medical practice : then , as
Lliese vrero frequently sweetened. It
: amc to mean any sweet concoction or
onfection : and , lastly , as molasses
tvas the sweetest of all , this name was
exclusively applied to sirup.
If you were a doctor , when another
loctor lost a patient , would you wy ,
It wasn't
Forty mine owners and operators oi
Denver have organized to fight trusti
Ind unionism.
Trade is booming among the wire
tvorkers and it is impossible to fill al
contracts on time.
The Michigan Central railway 'has
advanced the pay of its section mei
and foremen 10 per cent.
Barbers In Rhode Island have sue
Deeded in putting a bill through the
House compelling the barbers in thai
State to carry a license to work at thai
trade.
Organized labor of Kentucky acconi
plished more in the way of securing
the enactment of wholesome labor leg
islatiou in the last General Assembly
than It accomplished in the previous
fourteen years.
The dock managers at the Lake Eri (
porfs and the delegates representing
the International Longshoremen's As
Bociation have entered into an agree
inent to operate the coal and ore docks
for the season of 1902.
About one-third of all employes ir
the government departments in Wash
ington are women. Several receive
over $2,500 per annum , about fifty re
ceive $1.500 per annum. 100 receive ? 1 ,
400 per annum , 450 receive $1,200 , 30 (
receive $1,000 and the remainder re
ceive from $ fo 0 to $000 ppr annum.
The Japanese government has decid
ed to establish at the industrial experi
ment station a model factory , or tech
nical school , for training workers in
window glass manufacture. All of the
window glass now used in Japan is-
Imported. The importation of window
glass in 1809 was valued at $035,500.
The results of two years' industrial
strife between the Watch Case En
gravers" Association and the watcl ]
case manufacturers' combination are
now becoming manifest aud far sur
pass the predictions of either the en
gravers or the manufacturers. The
engravers spent $40,000 in issuing cir
culars , pushing their label and support
ing their locked out brothers. The
losses of the manufacturers since Jan.
21) , 1000 , will easily reach the seventh
numeral.
FUNERAL FLOWERS.
Carried Without Display , and Not All
Taken to the Cemetery.
"The open barouche , filled with flow
ers , sometimes seen preceding the
hearse at the head of a funeral pro
cession. " said an undertaker , "con-
taltj flower pieces too big to be put in
the hearse , some of which , at least ,
are too big to stand up in a closed
carriage. So where there are many
large pieces they are sometimes all
arranged in an open carriage , making
a display that never fails to attract
attention.
"From this conspicuous display of
flowers , which is one most likely to
be seen at tho funeral oi'a person of
foreign birth or descent , the practice
changes down to no display at all , as
in the case of the faj more numerous
funerals at which there are no flowers
can-led , or only such as can be1 laid
upon the coffin or carried within the
hearse.
"In some cases , where there are
many large flower pieces , they are car
ried in a carriage with the top half
open to give room for things that
would not stand under the top closed.
But the more common practice when
the flowers are so many as to require
a separate vehicle for their carriage ,
with no display at all. Iu many cases
the flowers can all be placed iu the
hearse : but nowadays often , when
there are many flowers , there are car
ried to the cemetery only such beauti
ful or appropriate pieces as can actu
ally IK ? laid upon the coffin Itself.
"It used to be that all the flowers
received at a funeral were sent to tho
ceinetory and placed upon the grave ,
to waste and wither , and they were
subject also to pilfering hands. Now
flowers that are in such form as to be
suitable for the purpose are. it may be ,
given avray nt'tcr the funeral services
to some institution : perhaps some in
stitution for children , where , instead of
simply wilting and fading as they
would otherwise have done , they con
tribute' to the happiness of the liv
ing.
"While there are many flowers still
sent as funeral offerings , there are not
so many as formerly. The phrase ,
'Kindly omit flowers , ' is literally in
terpreted , and the sending of flowers
more and more confined to relatives
and immediate friends. While the
burial casket of to-day is made richer
ami more costly than ever , the modem
tendency as to funerals is all the time
toward greater simplicity iv the pub
lic display. " New York Sun.
Painting Annual * 1'rom Ufe.
Briton Riviere , tiie animal psint r ,
says that the best sitters ( considered as
moJols of course ) are ducks , hens and
similar birds. Gulls are very bad sit
ters , and some time ago , while paint
ing a couple which she had in a cage ,
they attacked each other with such fe
rocity that ther had to be destroyed.
Of all auimal models , however , .Mr.
Riviere considers those of the cat fam
ily such as lions , tigers , etc. the most
difficult. When painting at the Zoo a
keeper will manage to bold a tiger mo
tionless for a few seconds by the aid
> f a piece of meat on a long pole , but
jven then the result is often extreme
ly bad. Mr. Riviere's usual plan is to
: ake twenty or thirty snap-shots of rhe
inlmal lie visiles to reproduce n caa-
ra. , and th n vr rk from tfcese.
y
Chicago correspondence :
S lon-g as the
American Derby
exists as the fea
ture of Western
turf sport , breed
ing ana racing in-
9 terests in this
c o u n t r y , repre
senting millions
of dollars In in
vestments , will be
certain of popular
support. There are
other Derbies , but they lose in compari
son with the great June event in Chi
cago , which rises far above the every
day possibilities of the ordinary horse
race to the dignity of the two great
events abroad the Grand Prix of
Paris and the English Derby of Epsom
Downs , which it so closely resembles.
The American Derby is a race for
glory. The course at Washington Park ,
made famous by the speed contests of
American and Imported thoroughbreds ,
is that upon which resound the hoof-
beats of the very best from noted
sires and dams. Here the horses that
may have run and won elsewhere come
THE GKEAT DOUBLE-DECKED GRAND STAND.
to show that they are of real Derby
caliber. It ie the best horse to win ,
and naught could tempt owner , trainer
or jockey from the strictest line of hon
esty. Even royalty has been repre
sented among owners who prize a
/
IK THE INFIELD.
Derby winner above any other. Multi
millionaires from all sections of the
country , who willingly pay fabulous
pricea for horses with which to win
i his event , have seen their favorites
lieateii by horses of owners who ueed-
. d the stoke money to pay feed bills.
Derby day has a greater significance
lo Western people than mere horse-
tacing. It is the Vanity Fair of the
season , for the wealth and
of the great Western metropo-
! .s would have it so ; and it is thorough-
dfuiocralic as well , for the thousands
i'-oin ' the great middle classes aro inter-
--ted.
.Michigan avenue , the fashionable
i"uic go boulevard , with all its tribu-
try resident streets of the aristocracy.
re-u'iits a scene on Derby day unriv-
: lcd in America. Like a gorgeous braid
T color , the vehicles loaded with those
.ho have all ( hat money can buy and
rr bestow , move out over these
: reets to join the boulevard proces-
ion. as the pageant , with music of
i oru and bugle , moves on to the racing
-one at the course. Then the boule-
nrd closely resembles Rotten Row or
.u Champs Elysees when royalty is
for the hay. All Js bright and
and the spirit of the occa-
is a. thoroughly enjoyed by thos ?
In chaises as the others who tread 'mid
the daisies.
Merchants and trades people of Chi
cago have also fostered the spirit of the
day , for to them it means a stimulus
in all lines of business. Thousands in
new gowns and all that goes to adorn
mail and womankind , new equipages ,
bought or hired for the day : dinners '
and luncheons at fashionable resorts
and taken to the course ; theater parties
and evening entertainments ; the great
influx at the hotels of country visitors ,
and their later purchases ; track sup
plie < ; in fact the butcher , baker and
candlestickmaker , all get their share
of the half-million of dollars which
Derby day puts Into circulation. The
head of one large house recently stated
that the profits of his firm from the
sale of fans alone was over $2,000. Ac
cording to Secretary Howard , the
crowd at the last two Derbies exceeded
40,000.
It is the kaleidoscopic vision of flash-
Ing colors that makes Derby day a suc
cess. The bright and fashionable
equipages drawn by prancing horses ,
whose coats are groomed to a silken
sheen , and with gold and silver trap-
pings flashing in the sun ; the coach
men and footmen iu bright blue coats ,
' white doeskins , and patent leathers
with tail tops ; the autos , which now
j play a very important part ; the color
effects of the stylish dresses , sunshades
and millinery , all combine to make it
seem as though the boulevard had
caught the end of a rainbow and rolled
it out along the road : and as this sym
phony of colors is carried through the
track gates and onto the infield , as
carefully kept as any lawn , the scene
from the clubhouse and the double-
decked grand stand , seating JJo.OOO peo
pie , makes Derby day just different
from the ordinary boss-race.
The races lose nothing of sportive
interest by the social features. Pater
familias , who could not afford a pri
vate box in the grand stand , has ar
rived early with his family and watch
ed the infield and stand till since morn
ing , being provided against hunger
and thirst by the big picnic basket fill
ed with good things. Scattered over
the inclosure are State , county and city
olficials. men prominent in all walks of
life , actors , ai'd even , clergymen , lend
ing horse-owners from tho Atlantic to
the Pacific , from Canada and Minne
sota to the blue grass country.
Two preliminary races give the
crowd an opportunity to size itself up
A CLOSE FIXISII.
and whets the appetite for the real
thing. The crowd watches the "warm
ing up" of the Derby horses , sees the
starter cross the field to the half-mile
post , and finally hears the bugle call
for saddling. Then cornea the parade
past tue grand stand and the canter to j
the starting post. Every vantage
is now taken. There are the usual
breaks , the recalls and the scolding
and pleading by the starter with tricky
and overanxious jockeys for a fate
start
Finally there is a swish of the fla
and the great crowd takes up the cry
"They're off. " The horses come thun
dering down the stretch on the first
turn past the grand stand , horses anty
jockeys seemingly equally intent td
win the check for $20,000 which tb *
presiding judge will place in tremblind
hands within the fractional part oi
three minutes. *
Cheered by franitc cries from 50.000
throats , each for its particular favors
ite , horses and riders round the quar.
ter-mUe post and from this point thq-
race is really won. Glasses are now u >
the hands of eager spectators , who sear
only flashes of color along the backr
stretch. They swing again into the
homestretch , and now the hoof beats-
keep time with the heartbeats , as the
race is nearly done. There is a brie *
interval , and then , as the number ot
the winner goes up on the judges'
stand a tremendous burst of applause
breaks from the crowd. Men swarm
out upon the track , the Immense floral :
horseshoe is brought out , and Into it
the successful jockey is placed , to ba
carried in triumph past the grand
stand and into the paddock to ther
jockey room , to be again cheered bjr
his comrades.
And in its enthusiasm the crowd
would carry off the real winner ther
equine hero of the day. -
Eat Parsley After Onions.
It will be information to a good many-
readers that by eating parsley after
onions one may prevent the offensiv-
breath which otherwise follows Indul
gence In the tearful vegetable. Thia-
information comes from a restaurateur
who says : ,
"Yes , you may eat a bushel of onion *
and a little parsleytaken afterward
will leave you so that Sherlock Holmes
himself would be unable to say what
you had been feeding on. That is the-
truth , and I wish more people were-
aware of it. For onions , which are the-
most wholesome things in the world , ,
would be as popular as they are whole
some if this matter of the
parsley were-
more widely known. Another thing ,
old cheese , melted slightly , makei
mince pie digestible.
You may be a
confirmed dyspeptic , but if you will
spread on the top crust of your mince-
pie a thin layer of rich o'ld English ;
cheese , I promise that you may eat the.
pastry without any aftermath of re
morse and pain. " Chicago Chronicle.
Got a Stylish Hat Cheap.
A Philadelphia woman moving lr >
good society has been cured of a mania ,
for attending rummage sales , but it
took a heroic treatment to effect th * '
cure. The other day she
went to a sale
of the description named
in aid of a
worthy charity in which she is inter ?
osted , and came away minus
a $25 bafc >
It happened this way : A feature o *
the sale was a counter filled with un-
trimmed hats , advertised "Your choice
for 30 cents. " Now the North Thirty ,
third street woman didn't
really want
an nntrimmed hat at 50 cents , but there-
was one that caught her
fancy by rea
son of its odd shape , and she simply
couldn't resist the temptation
to tr *
It on. So she took off the handsome hat
she was wearing , placed it on the conn ,
ler and picked up the untrimmed one.
Then she looked
around for a mirror
There was only one , and that was away
at the other end of the long room She
pushed her way through the
crowd , and
in the meantime fat
a colored '
woman's
eyes were glued to the hat she had left
behind , on the pile marked "
: "Your
choice for 50 "
cents. it was a goldeo
opportunity not to be missed. Counting
out 50 cents in dimes , nickels rnd pen *
nies , she shoved them at the innocent
young attendant , and made good he
escape with the
fashionable '
woman'-
hat
Half honesty won't answer ; you must 4
be honest all the
way through
, or you *
little tricks will be
accepted as down ,
right dishonesty.
It is * asy to have too much of a good
thing : two sweethearts at on time tot
ecax ?