By CHARLOTTE M. BRAEME.
CHAPTER XVI. cContiinietl. )
"Alone , and residing. Irene ? Arc you
Snely , my darling ? "
"No. I am never lonely , " she replied ,
" unless I hud myself in a crowd ; with
book I have always a companion. "
He then informed her that it was cits-
Somary. ( hiring the fall and winter , to
Save a number of guess at Saxonhurst.
and Miat it was hi-j intention to present
orutof his most intimate friends to her.
"I have written a list of those whom 1
think we ought to incite. " he said , "and
i will describe them as I go. "
He then named Lord-and Lady Waldo
Hurst , his next of kin : Lady Lyster , a
ToaJthy widow ; Miss Ciring , an Ameri
can heiress , and several others. But it
was not until he mentioned , as one of
5is friends. Lord Gerant , that'he mani
fested any interest.
Then il s.-omed to her that her heart
tood still a ad refused to beat ; that great
red light shone before her eye < . and a
jnist of sorrow and pain enfolded her , out
ti whjch nhe heard the slow tones of the
vinkes voice uttering these words :
"My most honored g.iest will be the
jreat statesman , Lord Gerant. 1 am
anxious to show him all honor , and jou
rill help me. I Am sure. "
The voice that answered him was faint
nd low. and seemed lo come from afar i
off. 1
off."I will do uiy best , Ildephonse. to ineet ! !
jour wishes in every way , " it said. i j
Lower sank ( he beautiful golden head ; '
die rich draperies of muslin and lace rose
and fell as though her heart were break- ,
;
Sng ; die beautiful face drooped more and !
more from his : ghl.
"That brings me , " said the duke , "to
fthc next name on my IHt. My old friend
kas a daughter who is one of the mu < t
? > eautiful women and the richest heiress
in England Lady Lira Gerant. "
Had he noticed his wife more , he would
nave seen her face grow deadly pale , and |
* great gasp come from her parted lips.
"Lady Lira married a man who will .
frave his mark on the age Sir Hulbert \
Estrnero. of the Mere. " i
It had come at last this name , which !
s to her like the knell of doom. For a
r minutes she thought she must fall -
from the chair to the ground. The sound j
f the naaie so long and so dearly Juved. |
ao long unheard , struck her with keen , ,
passionate pain ; a mist swam before her )
* yea , a sound of rushing waters filled her
* ars. With a violent , almost desperate ,
effort , she recovered herself ; she stilled
the trembling , sh forced the color back
to her face.
"You Interest me greatly , Ildephon > e , "
4Q6 said.
"Do I ? lam very glad. I feared from
your silence that it was otherwise. I wts }
telling you that my friend's daughter.
JLady Lira Gerant. had married a rising j
Ptatcsma'n. Sir Httlhert Ksrinerc. I like J
aim rery much ; we agree eiactly in our
notions of politic ? : I have asked him with
Sis wife , Lady Ustuierand if. in all
England , there is one woman with waom
if would delight me to see you on friend
ly ternijj. it i Lady Estmere. She i *
joung like yourself , beautiful not * *
.you. but next to you clever ami good. I
> feel sure that you will love her. nna it "K
the dearest wish of my heart that you
.jhould do so. Our families are and al
ways have been so intimate that I shall
Sope to see you and Lady Emmere like
sisters. "
Oh. heaven ! would the voice never
tease ? Would the torture never stop :
Would he never rise from that ch'air and
Isave her to the anguish of her own }
thoughts.- ?
"How long will they remain ? " she ask-
"Lord Gerant for two weeks : the oth-
w ; longer. Irene ! " he cried , catching a ,
jlimpse of her pale face. "Irene , yon
ro not looking well ! I am tiring you. "
And she w.-\s only too pleased , after
any fashion , to make her escape. ,
i
CHAPTER XVII.
. On tho evening when the party < > !
jpiest > were expected , the h'rst who ar
rived were Lord ami Lady Waldo llnr r' ,
and Miss ( 'bauing. the famous American
Seireps. They ; vere formally presented
to the young duchess.
Irene s.kK d a pan from her guest > for ;
Tfew minutes , looking at the i nioolh. i
aweet leaves , and thinking of Ihe giitier-
fng islnn i > where the palm trees grow.
She heard n siicht murmur , the msile of i
ailk ; she heard her hushand'c voic in
* ccents of warm welcome , and then i
Oh. heaven , how was she to live ? how
was she to bear it ? how ever turn her :
iace to the light ? how speak , how act or i
Wove ? A low moan came from her lips ;
ehr clinched her hands pn tightly tnat j
< Jxe rings made great dents in her white j
"Oh , heaven ! " fh < > crietl. frnm
< l'epths of hor heart , "help me. or I
For she heanl his voice nncp again-
voice of the man she had so paK. ion- '
ly loved the voice that she hari heanl
East , teiiiog her , in what she believed to
lie her home , telling her she ronlj never
"or. nove.r had been his wife.
Down the long vista of the drawing
Votim she could > ee a little party coming
toward them , l xl hy thf duke. Pn.I.
.tnnie to her aid. He had slighted her , ;
Sfe had IJ. L thought her good enough to
Sear his name , nnii now he found her
scaring ; htmust noble nanip in Knglaml.
Sfr she stood awaiting him. her rich.
fcttdllnp draperie of crenin and lace fall- .
Ili in ytatnesijiie folds : her face fair and
proud as thnt of a stately queen : the light .
ettfnfzrg in hpr diaiuonds until it seemed
tftd ? w all the bright ns around her.
The jeveled fan. niarJe of the hric * les i
fijnmage of some rare birds , touched her ,
.white breast , and no stir of the spotle.s I
feathers told of the beating heart wirh- ;
fci. The white hands did nor tremble : the
foeantifol Erms , haro to the shonldure and
tdasped fcy diamond bracelets , were still
inthough no heart-heat made her whole
tremble. Calm , with erene , higb-
tTf ct grace , with fair proud hean-
awaited him.
'Step by step she heard him advance
rery step it seemed to her treading on
fcter heart. For the time she forgot all
world except him : evnrythJDff else
lost. Step hy tcp. Ouce he spoke ;
< eoce h lnitjrh ? < T. carelessly. At the J (
of his vuke the aiifht kar brok-
j en down ; the sound of his laugh embold
ened her. It was the same laugh that
j had driven her almost mad on the moru-
, ing he had told her that she was not hi.s
j wife. She could meet him now , for the
memory of her wrongs burned her : is
! with hot iron.
j Nearer her still. Something comes be
tween her and the brilliant light. Shad
ows seem to fall , and the duke is speak
ing. She does not raise her eyes , for
she thinks to herself that it'she looks
up and sees him suddenly she will fall
down dead. Those who are watching ue.r
! intr-nlly think , despite her great beauty
j and exalted position , how shy she is ; for
: the long lashes lay on the beautifully
' tinted cheek . She is horribly conscio.is
! that ho v'ati.ls over her : and she know.-
J : ti.sn that a terrible calm hacome over
i him. and that he K gazing in wonder on
; her.
Presently she realizes that her hushaud
stands before her. She sees rich folds of
white ati . and she knows that Lady
Estiuere the woman who hears the nnme
that ought to bu hers also stands there ;
the woman wno unwittingly stole her
, love.
i What was ( he duke saying ?
} "Ordinary forms of introduction are in
1 this ca.-e useless. I want the daughter
of the olde.-t friend I have in the world
to love my wife , and I want my wife to
Ic re her. "
Then the duchess looked up and saw
before her a heaufiful woman , whose
frank eyes and sweet lips smiled almost
tenderly at her. They looked at each
other fixedly for an instant these two
women uho had cros.-ed each other's
live * so strangely anil then two white
hands met each other. Tho duchess
made some kindly answer , and Lady Kst-
merc > .aid to herself that the difficulty
wo ild be not to love one so exquisitely
loving and charming.
Another minute and the draperies if
white satin had vanished. A xentleinAd
with a stnr on hs breast was bowt&g
before her. and the duke , in a voice that
she knew faltered with emotion , told her
that thi > was Lord ( Jerant , his dearest
friend. SVni'ist speak that sho Unew
if she died for it. And tha the earl
made way for some one else. She would
not raise her eyes , but she saw a dark ,
handsome head bending low before her ;
she knewshe knew !
A few words from the duke , and then
the voice that had ouee made her life's
music said , in a tone the significance of
whichhe herself perfectly understood :
"I cannot tell your grace how more
than deli.elued I am. "
Few wordhut to her they meant feo
much. If she had looked at him she
must hav < - died. It seemed to her chat n
h.ind of ice clutched at her heart ; that
the blood froze in her vein : that xhe
must fall flat with her fact on rht
ground : thul .she could not help herself in
the least ; then the duke said :
"Irene , you look tired ; let me give you
a chair. Why are you standing ? ' '
She WJKS just conscious when she ' -'it
down that Lady Ivstmere was sayinjr
omethiuK tx her. She closed her eyes for
utie instant. , and then strength came back
to her. It wag a relief lo her when the
dinner bell rang. The duke offered his
arm to Lady Kstmore. and Ixird ( Jeraiu
tr * > k down the duche.-s. She recovered
herself siitficiently to talk to I he great
Maicsman. and she delighted him by tell
ing him how often > = hc herself had longed
to sec him.
"I am sure , " said Lord Uerant , "that
we shall lie great friends ; and 1 think
ihe duke has done the wisest action in
hilife in marrying again. "
" 1 hope you will always think so. ' ' said
ihe duchess , with otic of her mo < t charm
ing smiles.
It waa lone and splendid banquet ,
worthy of the grand banqueting hall in
which it was irivcn. worthy of this host
who gave it : and Sir Hulbert. watching
ih - duchess intently , wondered where
Irene hatl ncquired that calm , serene
manner which caused her to he con < 5d-
cnvl one of the hcst hrwl womeu of th
day. One ihing struck him look ai ! ior
a * he would , he never found her eye * on
him : she treated him as the greatest
stranger. When the ladies rose 10 retire.
ns she parsed him , quite hy accident she
dropped one of ihe lovely white violets
from her bouquet. In an ins-rani lie had
looped lo pick it up , and offered it to
her with a low how. She passed him
with the most queenly indifference , and
did not take the flower.
"My bouquet is Jailing : to pieces. " she
said ; "one Mower more or less dues not
matter. * '
The next moment she wax gone , and
fill the hrighuiCKS of the room seemed to
: o out with her.
When he entered the drawing room lie
; at down by her side. 'Hie diamond '
in her white breast did not stir. He -
'ould not flatter himself that her hean j
ieat one degree quicker for his coining.
"You have some fine engravings there ,
lurhess , " he said : "do you care about
iicture and art ? "
"That i. a very comprphenstvn qnes-
ion. " shp said ; "and pardon me.not very
learly put. "
"Quite right. " said Lord C.erant. "I
nought t'-v same thing when I henrdlt. ' '
Lady Kstmere looked up a little arix-
ously : the Grange inflection in thv sweet
oice of the duchess struck her.
"I am afraid they are not going to like
a eh other.he thought , "and that would
K' a great pity. 1 mii u brins thorn to-
rether. "
"I am very unfortunate , " si < l Sir Hul-
iert. "Let me frame my question differ-
nlly. Do TOII like pirtunn * . duchpKS ? "
"I do more. I lore and appreciate
hern. " she replied.
"Now I roust ask. do you love art ? "
"Yep. of all kinds music , painting ,
cnlpturc and everythitij : else that comes
inder the meaning of th * word 'art , ' "
he replied.
Then he wa * quite at a loss whmt to
ay ; he who was ever so eloquent , no flu-
nt in words , so plentiful in idwm ; for
be had never looked at him and had
rawn herself quite away from him.
His wife just then earned hi * deepest
ratitmle. She was very anxious that
bey should become friends : and she
houtht to herself that if she w r to
BIT * rhtm together th charm ami pol-
th of Sir HnlWrt'i maa r mu nak
! an impression on one so refined as the
; young duchess. She made the conversa
tion general for a few minutes , then said
carelessly :
"Papn , I should like to see the picture-5
j in the white drawing room ; the duke tells
: me there are several new ones since we
j were here last. "
"Most of them were purchased fn
i Rome. " said the duchess. "Shall I go
with you. Lady Estmere1
It was the first time she had called the
beautiful woman who had supplanted her
by name , and her lips trembled over it.
"No , " said Lady Esttmere , laughingly ,
"the greatest favor you can do me is to
talk to Sir Ilulbert and keep him in
good order for me while 1 am away. "
She did not raise her eyes ; she made
no answer : she heard the rustle of rich
draperies , and then there floated to her
a whisper of :
"Irene Irene , have you no word for
CHAPTER XVIII.
Not one line in that fair , proud face
i moved ; aot even a curve of the proud lips
i showed that she had heard him , or that
* the voice had any echo in her heart.
"Irene , " he cried , and this time there
was the ring of passion in his voice.
Stiil she leaned back in her chair with
the same calm , serene , queenly indiffer
ence , holding the rich feathers of her fan
against her white breast , proud that no
feather fluttered or moved : proud that
her jeweled hands did not tremble ; proud
that he should see that he had no power
to make her tremble or to move her.
"IreneT" he cried , "for heaven's sake ,
speak to"me ; you are driving me mad ! "
Unutterable scorn and contempt deep
ened in those beautiful eyes.
' 'If you are speaking to me. " she re
plied , "Sir Hulbert Estmere , I am the
Duchess of Bayard. "
"Speak to me , " he cried , "whoever you
may be now. You have beeji Irene Dar-
cy , and so can never be a stranger to
me. "
"There is no greater stronger to you
than I am , " she said.
He thought she was rising to go away ,
and with eager carelessness laid his hand
on her arm as though to Detain her. In
one moment he saw his mistake ; she had
flung it from her as though it had been
the poison sting of an adder. H r face
grew deadly pale with anger : she trem
bled with indignation that he should dare
to lay even one finger on her.
"I beg you to forgive me. " h said. "I
crave your pardon. "
"Be carefnl that you do not repeat the
offen e , " she said , imperiously.
"Irene. " he repeated , "for heaven's
sake do not drive me mad. I would not
have presumed to touch you but that I
was afraid you were going to leave m .
Do von think I have no heart , no feel
ing ? "
Nothing could have been more proud ,
or'still. or contemptuous thau that beau
tiful face. She made no answer.
"Do you think. " he cried , "that I can
forget ? "
Then she spoke.
"There can be nothing to remember ,
nothing to forget , " she said calmly. "You
nre Sir Hulbert Estmere of the Mere ;
I am the Duchess of Bayard. There can
be rt.-thing in common between us. "
"Yuu cannot forget ; you must , you
shall remember , " he cried.
Tin n she opened her * beautiful eyes
quite wide and looke < l at his with su
preme contempt.
"It would be well for you. " i be said ,
"if 1 could forget. I do not ; I remember
many things , and , above all , I remember
my vow. "
"Your vow ! What vow ? " he ajjked.
"My vow of vengeance , " she said. "I
made ii , and I shall keep it let it be a
long time or a short time before the op
portunity comes , I do not care 1 shall
keep it to the end. "
"Your vow against , me of. vengeance
against me ? " he said.
"Yes , my vow of vengeance against
you. " she repeated.
He drew back a little , an though he did
not like the words.
"It is best as it is. I do not see any
occasion for melodrama of any kind. " m > !
aid. "You could not ask for a more , '
brilliant lot in life than you have now. j
could you. in all fair dealing. Irene ? I '
must speak frankly to you. and I pray I
you most humbly to listen. You * < > r that !
our family and the honsp of Bayard arc
on the most friendly term * . I heard of
the "duke's marriage , but I need not tell
you that in my wildi i dreams 1 could
never guess who the duchess was. I have
thought of you a thousand litnes. each
day. Irene , but my ihoughLs were all
fears. If I had known thai you were
the duke's wife. I should not hnvp come.
Yon see the position is an awkward one
for me. unless you are kind enough lo en
lighten me. "
"I do not see that you h vp any posi
tion lo mention. " she said , haughtily.
He wag in a fever of impatience and
suspense. j
"Oh. Irene. ( Jo not trifle with me ; I can }
ill bear suspense. Tell me in one word. {
rlous the duke know your story ? " j
"I cannot see how that interests J < HI. j '
Sir Hulbert , " she replied.
"It intereFN me this much , " he said ,
'that if he knows il I leave the house
to-night never to re-enter it , and that
ihere will bo bitter war between us. " 1
She looked at him with angry indigna
tion.
"Do yon suppose for one moment. " she
said , ' 'that if that honorable , loyal gen-
teman whom I call my husband knew
four real character he wonld allow yo-u 1
: o cross his threshold ? "
"There are worse character * than
nine , " hu said , sullenly.
"I think not Sir Hulbert. A traitor
anks with a spy. and you ar * the very
{ ing of traitors. "
"You are very kind. " he answered , his
inndsome face growing pale with anger.
She looked at him from bead to foot ,
with one of the long , lingering , eon temp-
uoue glances that uting a man lik * the
ash of a whip.
"An though I eonhi speak kirn ) ' ? to yon ,
t vile traitor , " ah * said.
"Irene , I will try to be patient. Ywi
ire torturing me as a cat tortures ft
ntxisfl. Will JCHI tell me if the duke
; DOWS the rtory of wht yon call my
ra'ud ? "
"Yes , " sh answered ; "he know * the
torj. I did not keep one detail from
rim ; I did not exeruse myself or others.
told him Hie simple , wavarniriied fl
ruth , " she replied.
"Did you tell him my name , or give
lim any clevr by which b could know
"
f ? " he"asked.
"No. I did not. " was & brief replj.
"W < * ul < l yon miftd telling tae what * *
Sir
He began to navxsome kind of ide.
| that danger was in.store . for him.
I "I will tell you with pleasure. " she
, answered. "He asked me your uame
and I declined to tell him. He said that
j
, he should be quite sure to find it out , and
] when that happened he would never rest
j until he had set his foot on the traitor's
i face. "
"Well. " said Sir Hulbert. with a faint
attempt at a sneer , "it seems to me
that I am likely to have a lively time of
it. But as I am no cow.ird I do not fear.
What do you threaten me with. Irene ? "
"It would please me if you would try
to remember that my title is Duchess of
Bayard. " she said , imperiously. "I
threaten you with nothing. I owe you
my vengeance. "
And again a certain expression of anx
iety crossed his face. He did not like the
frequent repetition of thu word "ven
geance. "
( To bp continued. )
Exquisitely Evaded.
Singularly apropos of Etnerson" <
poetic dictum.
I hold it of little matter
Whether your jewel be of pure water.
A rose diamond or a white.
But whether it dazzled me with light ,
is a story of Herman. Merivale , an En
glishman of letters , and that brilliant
and lovable actress. Miss Ellen Terry ,
which eouios from the London period
ical known as .M. A. P.
When Miss Terry appeared in "Mac
both. " Mr. Merivale thought , with
many others , that her part was not
suited to her personality or ability. lie
did not care for her Lady Macbeth at
all , and decided not to go behind the
scenes in case he should be asked to
express nn opinion. Sir Henry Irving ,
however , sent him u most pressing invi
tation , and directly Miss Terry caught
sight of him she hurried across the
stage , and niked eajrorly :
"Well , how do you like me ? "
"Nell , " returned Mr. Merivale. "the
flffct time we met I saw you as 'Puck , '
springing from the parth behind a toad
stool. You bewitched me then , am1
you've been doinp it ever since , * '
"Ask the Blacksmith. "
When Attorney Tom Cannon went
East with the Jefferson Club to Monti-
cello , he chanced to run down to Rich
mond and Newport News. At the lat
ter place he met a full-Hedged English
man , a Londoner , who was visiting
America tor the first time. Mr. Can
non and the Britisher went one even-
In ? for a ride into the country and
chanced upon a typkml Virginia vil
lage.
Over a blacksmith shop was suspend
ed a jocular sign , which read :
"Ten miles to the next town. If
you can't read , ask the blacksmith. "
"If you cawu't read awsk the black
smith. " I cawn't understand what that
bally sign means , don't ye know , " ex
claimed fho Englishman.
"Oh. that's a joke , " explained Mr.
Cannon.
The Englishman studied the sign for
a full minute and then declared with a
laugh :
"How jolly elevah , don't ye know !
Wouldn't it be a great joke if the bally
blacksmith was not at home ! " St.
Louis Post-Dispatch.
Sayings or Smart Youngsters.
A Boston teacher recently read to her
young pupils an account of a man "wfap
had lived for years upon the frontier. "
When the .story was reproduced by one
of the children , to her surprise it read
that he had lived for some years "ou his
front ear ! " Another teacher read that a
gentleman "had occupied for some time
a fine country seat. " Upon asking Ihe
children what was meant by a "country
seat" a dead silence reigned till one lit
tle fellow said he thought he knew ,
and to the inquiry of the teacher re-
piled : "A milking stool ! " Still another
had been reading lo her pupils about
the rain. One. being asked to write a
little story about the rain , after de
claring his inability to do so. produced
the following : "What does the rain say
to the dust ? 'I am on to you and your
name is mud ! ' "
A Tall Chimney.
The taLlest smokestack on record is
what is known a.s St. Ilollox chimney
at the TennHnt chemical works. Glas
gow. It is 4531feet. . It was originally
400 feet , but the management , learning
thai another stack was to be built
equaling it. added the fifty-five and one-
half feet to hold the record. The original
height was rendered necessary by the
law against chemical works within the
L-ity and Ihe neeesKiry for carrying ( he
fumes clear of the district. It Is built
i > f brick and pupported by heavy iron
bands. Once it swayed out of the per
pendicular , hut by means of a kite and
the sawing of the mortar upon one side
It was swayed back. Germany ha a
stack 39(5 feet high.
"So .yo won't let me play 'Ham-
ivtT " said Mr. Stormiiigton Barnes.
"Emphatically , no , " answered the
manager.
"Yon have no respect for the char-
jcier of the great Dane ? "
"Now. my dear Storm. " was the
toothing rejoinder , "what does the pnb-
ic care about great Danes ? What i <
bey want Is the bloodhounds in 'Uncle
Pom's Cabin. ' " Washington Star.
Unbiased.
"I trust , " Raid one practical poJlti-
: ian , "that yon will approach the elec-
ion in an absolutely unbiased spirit , "
"I shall , " answered the other. "I
jave received equal amounts of money
rom both sides. " Washington Star.
L arjte t of American Ships.
Tb * largest ships ever launched from
in American shipyard ar the Korea
md Siberia. bniJt at Newport N7ews
or the transpacific trade.
Widows whose husbands are dead
oay be cheerful , bat their ebeerf.nl-
km't ctrauiMtfcnc * t that of
om r
OUB , BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO-
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelct that Are Supposed
to Have Beeu Recently Born Sayinir * *
and LoiiiKt > that Are Old , Cnrioii * and
Lanyrhahle The Week's Humor.
The Iceman Evidently warm weath
er is near.
His Assistant--What makes
- - you
think BO ?
The IcfMtian People are beginning to
call me "Mr. Smith. " Haven't got
anything better all winter than ' 'I say.
yon. " or "Hollo , there ! " Boston Tran
script.
Small Wonder.
Professor Yon would be surprised ,
madam , to know how sensitive is the
membrane of the human ear.
Miss Smarter Considering what
some people have to hear , 1 don't won-
ri > r at it.
Poor Tommy.
The Visitor Does mamma give yon
anything for being a good boy ?
Tommy No : she gives it to me when
I ain't.
AV.-Il Pr '
"Dat bit : fellow goin * Mown there
just hit me. "
"Serves ye right. Yeoughter have a
bloodhound like me. an' ( ley wouldn't
dare hit ve. "
A Hardened Wretch ,
"See that man with the hard face ?
He's killed his man. "
"Indeed ! Chauffeur or motorman ? "
Yonkers Statesman.
A Wise Girl.
Alice How long should a girl know
a man before becoming engaged to
himV
Grace ( Mi. lon.c enough for him to
propose.
Usual Thirty.
Biggs I licjir you are iinaneially em
barrassed ; is il true ?
UiggsNo ; my creditors seem to be
a liitle embarrassed , but I'm m l.
( one.
Aunt .Maria You should love your
neighbor sij ymirself.
Tom 1 love her better than 1 do
mvself.
He Was Next to the Game.
"Put mil your trust in riches. " said
the clerical-looking man in the rusty
coat.
"I don't , " replied the prosperous-
look in ? individual. " 1 put my riches
in trusts. "
by the Price.
"This is a picture hat. " said the fond
wife , showing her husband the new
piece of millinery.
"Picture hat ? " murmured the gentle
husband , moodily ga/ing at the bill
which had accompanied it. "It must
he by one. of theold masters. " Balti
more American.
A KiiK-Timc Comment.
"The refrain. " we said to our neigh-
lor at the vaudeville performance ,
while the popular ballad was being
rendered , "is prettier than the verses. "
"Yes. " he agreed. "I wish he would
efrairi aItogelher. " Baltimore Ameri-
a n.
Ftturner St.vle for
. /
My lady's horse.
Why He Lost. r
Old Fogey 1 am pained to hear that r
on are addicted lo playing whist , and
hat last night you lost $2Ti.
Young Fogey The idea ! Why , I
on't evn know how to play the game.
Old FogeySo I am informed by the
rjntlernan who won the money.
ii
Hi * Ac | iiaintunec.
7
W-igg Have you known Harduppe
WaggNo. . He's been short
ince I've known him. Philadelphia
Very Wet.
Customer I want to get a nice book
noshing dry.
Clerk- I think this trill please you ,
ICJI.
Customer What is It ?
CU-rk-A irnie : cm scientific rainr 1 :
inking.
_ - .
The Inveterate Angler.
.Mrs. Ma la prop .My husband's get-
rig ready for the opening of the fish-
me Fond of the sport , eh ?
Mr * . Ma In prop Well. I xhould saj. .V
> 'ny. he's * regular anglomaniac. tl
hitadelphia Pre .
The Wnraer Half.
"Miss Sarkasaum says you always
bring a spring-like sensation to tho e
arotind you. "
"Now. that's what I call mighty nice
of her. "
"Yes ? Well , she went on to saj
something about the tired feeling that
comes with the spring. "
Why ire Knew.
"Didn't \voti know Jtnglebywrote
poetry ? "
"Yes ; he served a copy of his latest
book on me last week. "
He Had.
" ' ? " ask
"Haven't you any occupation
ed the woman at the kitchen door , af
ter listening to his tale of woe.
"Yes. ma'am. " responded Tnffald
Knutt. "I'm a hunter. "
"A hunter ? Of what ? "
"Grub , ma'aui.-Chicago Tribuna.
Indication * * .
" Do you think they'll marry ? "
"Circumstances point in that direcs
tion. Her people object , ami he's an
poor as a church mouse. "
An Ideal Cliurch.
Mrs. Nfwcome-Yes. our new honse
is delightful and there's such a nico
church right near it.
Mrs. Mooven Indeed ? What denom
ination ?
Mrs. Newcome I declare I don't
know , but the pews are so arranged
that you can see every one who cornea
in without the slightest trouble.
The Porter Got It.
Hi Harix Well , them bunko fellew
uj ) tew the city didn't get my money
this time , b'gosh.
Cy Corntas Heow did j-ew inanago
it ?
Hi Harix Rode on one uv them cars
as iiev foldfn' beds in 'em. Chicago
News.
Body and Mind Overworked.
"What scared you so ? You are all
out of breath. "
"I just crossed the street in front.
a cross-eyed bicyclist who was in a
hurrj. " Brooklyn Life.
The Worm.
She Yes. I'm sorry I married
so there !
He Oh ! You were glad to get any
body. I guess. You were no young
bird when I married you.
SheNo ? But considering what t
t : < > t you must admit that 1 was an
early bird. Philadelphia Press.
On the Seventeenth.
"An" how did Murphy get the black
eye ? "
"Faith. IIP got it givin * another mon
t\\o. " Puck.
"An Open-Face Watch. "
N.
Another Mcrtideratum.
"I > o you think that wireless telegra
phyill save time ? "
"Yes. if they can Invent some sort
of nii-sseriger-lM yless device for de
livering the telegrams. " Washington
Star.
Homely.
J id you ever know any ona
so homely ?
NVarpassHardly ! Why. she is HO
homely that automobile
goggles are ac-
lually becoming to her-Puck. !
Poorest Record.
Vaiibibber-Who got the ' annual
booby prixe at the automobile club ?
VanpeliSlogo : be ran over only
rourleeri people during IfXJl. Ohhj
state Journal.
To True.
Teacher-What is the principal prod-
ict of i Piiilippine islands ?
.lolmnip-Trouhle.
I'ract ically .
Castletoti 1 don't suppose you1care
Much whether you sell your country
) l ce or not.
Von Blurner No. I haven't made an
'ffort so far. I have only offered it at
ne half what it cost me. Life.
Two Points of View. ! i
She How terrible it
must be for a
rreat singer to realize that she has lost
u-r voice.
He Yes. And how much
more ter-
ible for her audience when she doesn't
ealixe it. Chicago News.
*
Wasted.
Kditor What we want is a story con-
aiTtiiig a real good idea.
Conirlbiiuir Then '
why didn't you
ay so Itefrn * ? Here I have bvn read-
tig the back numbers of your maga.
ine f ( r a clew.
.
Mrs. Hayrix ( at city hotel ) Hiram ,
I'hat's this here "patty de free gras * "
u the bill o' fare ?
llayrix-Now , Miranda
, keep youf
south shut an' don't sli > w your iguor-
nce. That's French for celery. Chl
ago News. '
Dnrinc Hn ! Absence.
Hi * I know it ! 1 feel it ! You Iwva
e i flirting with some other man.
She But my de.ir. 1 was so lonesome
itliout you.
A Cm hinr Comment.
"Oh , I can marry any one 1 plea # "
lid he , and curled Ijj.s lip conceitedly.
"You'll never marry , then , " said
[ adje. the teaswi. "for there are noo
jat you could pltse. you w . "
ti Iphia Pr
n