fffiVALENTINEDEMOCJU L M KICK. rat llb r. VALEVTINB , NIBBASt Hatty Green's husband had to die picture In the papers. Th proper designation seems to ha settleddown to "Marconigram. " Th more a man gets the less he . 'Able to understand the discontent ' the poor. Anybody who tries to pick up t Bnltmn of T/urkey for a fool will dr hastily. , "When a wealthy bachelor lays 1 " ' she certain "lieart at a girl's feet ought not to kick. The king looks down on the peop Imt what would the king be if it we for the people ? ISrery minute a man spends regn jHag what he neglected to do as a bt doubles the waste. Sables will be the fashionable En llsh fur next season. Sorry now \ hought that $ SOO chinchilla. The man who can remember the fir marnes of all the girls he has ever lovi jmust have a cold , calculating nature. Paper socks are coming. When hole is worn in a paper sock the wea r will not be satisfied with mere Xlarning it. * "Will the paragraphers please hie { their shame-faced visagesV The ne . President of the Mothers' Congress h : 'Children of her own. A man may be simply mulish durii 'his lifetime , but in the obituary uoti < 'Jt is always said that he had the cou age of his convictions. A medical journal is trying to tit .out If the stomach ever becomes tire * The late Henry Hoheny/ollern migi ihave valuable testimony on this poiu . John Wanamaker spends ยง 1,000 a dc Advertising his Philadelphia store. Tl { business resulting from this advert ! Ing yields him a profit greater than tl cost of his advertising. The moral .plain. A man .in Iowa who has invented cream separator is to be paid $ SOlK in royalties. The old saying of "thei is nothing new under the sun" may 1 all right enough , but good ideas are sti hringing fortunes to those who tut ihem ouL The young man who set fire to th Astor House and other buildings ai fected a rough rider's uniform. H enid he fired the buildings in ordo that he might discover and extiuguis the blazes and become a hero. Is i not about time to reduce the premium on heroism ? The Gentlemen's Home Journal ac Tises its readers to side s-tep all frui sahuls. They are diabolical affairs d < signed tv > impair digestion and mak innumerable unhappy homes. Kniit i all right in its natural shape , but who it is worked up into salad it is a trot hie producer of great magnitude. TJie intolerant stale of mind is ii : Juriflus both to the Sate and to the in dividual. It goes with conceit am .deadly pride. The strange thing is th , ; meji are apt to plume themselves upoi Ihnir intolerance. It is evident that : man's conduct and a nation's conduc should be the result of thotight am Jmlgment ; but intolerance stop 'thought and destroys judgment Evidently the new Postmaster Gen eral is not superstitious ; he has decid d to issue a thirl pen-cent stamp. Tin -denomination is new to the postal ser VH-e. and is designed especially foi TCffistered foreign mail. At present H is necessary to use two stamps. OIK of eight vents for registration , and an oilier of five cents 'or postage. Tin now stamp will dohe work of both The design shows President Harrison sorted at his des-k. and therefore is si 'departure from the usual vignetted headIt would be interesting to know uow many people will continue to pre- ler the old two-stamp plan rather than risk starting a letter with a hoodoc lumber on the corner. The most dramatic incident in recent International politics is the conclusion fand publication of a treaty of offen sive and defensive alliance between 'Gr < > at Britain and Japan. It removes ( tvat Kntain from the position of : * splendid isolation" which she has so R occupied , and makes her the ally , of any European power , but of an fe tie government which only recent- : ly has been accorded a place among nations. The treaty serves uutive upon the rest of the .world that the two powers concerned .have no designs upon the independ ence or tluterritory of China or Ko- 4rea. and that they will oppose aggrcs- JKOU by other powers. In particular. * lhe treaty is a warning to Kussia to iteep its promises as to Manchuria and . -to stop crowding Korea. Behind the -.faltering and vacillating Chinese court Jand the feeble Emperor of Korea It iplaces , for the defence of their inde pendence and territorial Integrity , the resources of two powers whose com bined fleets and nrmies arc more than la jnntch for any force wliieh Is likely AJO he arrayeJ against tliein in the far In ; 3 East. Such an alliance , Itself pledg to pacific ends , is the best guarant of peace , because it so enhances t perils of war as to compel any pow to think twice before going counter it. The United States has peculi reason to think well of the new i liance , which is formed to carry o the very policy to which this count is committed. When Secretary Hi defined that policy , In his letter to t powers in July , 1900 , he enumerat Identically the same ends which a mentioned In the preamble to the ne treaty : the securing of peace ; t preservation of the Independence ai the territorial integrity of China ; ai the maintenance of the principle of t "open door" equal and impart ! trade for all nations with all parts the Chinese Empire. The new trea extends the three principles to Kor and pledges both powers to mainta them. It is unsafe to make predl tions regarding the course of affairs i country of so many explosive pos ; bllities as China ; but the new allian will certainly tend to restrict the an jf any internal disturbances whi < nay arise , and to minimize the chanc ) f aggression from without. Judge Sim-on E. Bildwin , who rery eminent and a Yale professor , h ; iiscovered that American workmen e .00 much , especially of meat , dress t < tvell and have too many elegancies heir homes. It came about in a le ure to workiugmeu , and the talk W ) 'nil of the relative values of varioi 'oods and tissue building and bra strength , and facts and figures th ; vould make you feel that if the butc ; r stopped more than once a day vould be well to prepare for early di lolution. It is too soon to worry aboi he amount of meat the toiler eats , s his business anyway. It Is time > e glad that nowhere on the face t he earth does the man who worl ! arn so much to eat ; nowhere is he L position to taste so much of luxui is in this land. Existence with him lot a matter of soup and black brea le goes into the market and buys tl hings that his stomach craves , and 1 las the money to pay for them. He hi earned to diversify his food. His tj > le is'covered with things that on ! ome to the comparatively well to c n the old world , and these things ha lot shortened his days or impaired h isefulness. He is , as a rule , health , troug , full of hope and courage , an on can lirectly trace some of his sin ess in life to the comforts that reac lis stomach. Men who eat well wor veil. As for the clothing , there is tit of vanity in the breast of ever xiniau being. The well-fed iudividus pants to look well. If he is prosperin ie wants to look the part. The goo oat and the stylish hat are a part c mbition. The better man or woma > dressed the better they desire to t ressed. and it is all for the. good c ut1 people who are entitled to 'mot nd still more and better clothing an lore comforts. Home furnishing 'here pride and love shine , for th ouple who decorate their nest and it ite sunshine , who put lace curtains o lie windows and soft cushions on th jckers , are putting their money t ood use , and again demonstrating th uperiority of the average America nines over the homes of all other Xj ons. So never mind the [ irofessui , et"s have plenty to eat , and eat i iseiy. Let's work for more gooi othiug and more putty home furni > l igs and a tidy bank account , for thi i America , a land that is still t'rei here no comfort and no privileg orth the h-iving is denied to himvh , ill work and win it. Pugs in Hoots. Over in Paris fashion has decreet iit when the pet doggies go out fo \ airing during damp weather thei iust wear rubber boots. Of course ie boots are made for dog use am ley cost $4.73 for two pairs , for a do ; ith the proper number of legs mus ny his boots four at a time , yoi ow. They have 'em high for grey muds and low for dachshunds , am iln soled or thick soied , according t ( ie owner's taste. And they say it'i ally a touching sight to see tlu > gs prancing around the puddles , ii eir shining boots , and their little iny-day blankets , but. alas , the hu anily of the thing has to coufn : alnst one very unpl asnnt drawback ogs love lo giunv rubber , and : ! : - , . msequence is they chew up theii > ots just as quick as they get ; i lance. No sooner is his owner's gazt rneii away than even the be.st-breil ig in Paris will sit down in the very st puddle and worry his boots. It' . * great pity , of course , but after all igs will be dogs. Cleveland Plain Lialer. Putting His Fot in It. Many diffident persons tind the be lining of a conversation awkward. pecially on ceremonious occasion- . d with strangers. Sometwes , ho\\ or , the beginning not half so awk- ml as what come.afterward. . V bashful young man on being in- nluced to a lady at a dinner partv id : 'I've got to take you iu to dinner. : ss Travers. and I'm raher afraid of u , you KUOW. Every one tells me u're very clever. " The young lady was naturally insed by this display of simplicity. 'How absurd ! " she exclaimed. "I'm t a bit clever. " [ 'he young man heaved a sigh of re- f aud answered : Well , do you kn .v , I thought you iren't ! " New Yoi . .er. Vheu you do a foolish thing yon say yourself , " "The people won't notice ' But theywill noike it ; they al- ys do. SURE TRICK TO CATCH BAS Minnesota Guide's Theory that Seei to Work Well in Practice. William Humes , a Minnesota "guic which is to say a Minnesota bo man , who pulls a skiff for fisherm it $2.50 a day advances the thec .hat not only are deep water minno > iindersized croppies , and such fry en ins , but the big bass which feed [ hem know that they are curious , a : ake advantage of their failing. Cruising minnows , or cronj > ies , seei my solitary object that is nor a fish ; he water , are irresistibly moved to : oward it and find out about it ; t > ass congregate near such an obje md snap up the investigators as th : ome. With this idea in his head , Hun : ows his employer past many lily be ind other likely places , and will ke m rowing in the teeth of rerm ; trances until he can find a single 1 ) ad growing from twenty to thirty ft > ut from its fellows. He approacl ; his pad cautiously , moving the be it Che rate of a foot a second , a. vhen he is ten yards from it he sto ind whispers : "Cast from here and laud within tlu 'eet ' of that pad ; let your bait si : leep before you begin to reel in , a : eel slow. " Obeying instructions to the syllab he angler will in eight cases out en get a savage strike before he Ii aken In two yards of line , and w lave a fight lasting from five to fil'te Qinutes. Cast after cast will have t a.me result until sometimes a half lo/.en black bass have been taken , ai n no case will the bait have stru uore than six feet from the solita ; tad. tad.Then Then Humes rows on in search of a ther place of the kind. Whether t' heory is worthy or worthless , his p rons get the bass. Upon this fact 1 as erected his reputation ; he guan iis secret jealousy from other guide nd always requests his employer : eep mum. Humes says that bass may be tak < lear the roots of a single pad wli < liey will not attack a lure in any oth art of a lake ; that they may be takt liere with certainty until such time i liey are seized with one of their ui ersal fits of contrariness , and w : ot strike at anj'thiug anywhere. In casting toward a solitary pad 1 isists always that the angler sbji se a weedless hook , upon which mall Prog , green preferred , has bet npaled. His reason for this is stat < hortly. "The bass have been hanging arom liere gobbling fool minnows and cro ies until they are tired of them , ai rant frog. Take off that minnow , pi n a frog , be sure he's alive , and 1 im sink deep. " Reports of the year's output of bool' ' K/W that an average of three books t L'tiou a day have been published. Tl lies of "David Harum" were greau lan any book last year. "The Crisis i spite of criticisms , heads the list. it looks as though people * * ciiriosii ? to the authorship of " Vn Knglis 'onian's Love Letters" will soon V rallied. The Bookman says the M et of the authorship will slu rtl .ado public. There is a story in ! ir 3"s by this unknown lady if it be dy called "The Story of Amabel an moris. " The Bookman says of the tweut ; ne different books Avhich appeare its monthly list of best selling book iring 1901 , twenty-one are the wor men and six of women , while th ithor of "An English Woman's Lov jtters' ' and of "Truth Dexter" hav t been identified. Sidney McCall i ought by many to be a woman. The query was aske 1 in the Natioua aga'/ine : Who is the world's tort ust living author ? The replies' cam Din every State and Territory of th uited Slates , and even from Port co. The majority have accords eir belief that Herbert Spencer ot pins that high position. It would b teresling to know how many ordin y readers have read Spencer. The Englishwoman's Year Book give e names of over 2. 0 new novels pu'j bed by women writers during 1901 vo of the most notable are listed a : 'lie Serious Wooing. " by John Olive > bbs. and "Sir Richard Calmady , " l > : teas Malet. Among the most wroliii' ' iters of the year were Mrs. Amoli : i IT. Mrs. Katharine Tyan Hlnkson ss Florence War.len and Joli -ange Winter. 'rities have discovered , speaking oi chard Carvel , that the hymn. "Lead nilly Light , " was not composed n , ie to have been sung by Mrs. Carvel ijection is also made to having . ! i d play "Columbia , the Gem of iht ean. " during the Lincoln-Douglas t'e i- > at Frpppoit in 1S..8. This sou : : is the product of war times , several : i-s after. Well , the publishers art t fretting "The Crisis" is still hav f a big run. Public Baths in Tokin. "here are SOO public baths in Tokio , lieu are patronized daily by 3KOO.I ( sons. Tl'e charge is about halt" u it. V'ben a man as a suit in court he al- ys believes that the witnesses on the : cr sid ? swear to one lie after an- or. SUPPOSE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over Saying * * that Are Cheer ful to Old or Young Fnnny Selec tions that Everybody Will Enjoy. "I want a piece of blue ribbon that will tie nicely into a hangman's knot. " aid the sad-looking man , addressing the saleslady. "This piece will answer your pur pose , 1 thjnk , " replied the young lady. "How much do you require ? " "It is to adorn the neck of my wife's pet dog. " replied the s. 1. m. , with .1 sickly smile , "so please cut it accord ingly. " Saved by the Signal Service. Longleigh Then you didn't propose to Miss Gotrox , after all ? Shortleigh Xo. My knowledge of the signal service code saved me from making a fool of myself. Longleigh Well , put me on. Shortleigh Just as I was about to commit myself she hoisted the eold- ivave flag. In A. P. inOo. First Automobile Girl Why do they tiave a wooden Indian outside of a cigar toreV * Second Automobile Girl 1 give it up ! Why do they have a wooden horse out- ide. a leather goods store ? I'uck. No After Results. "Did the typhoid , fever leave you with anything ? " "No ; the doctor got it all. " Was Overweight. "I wish I knew of a good way to raise bread. " remarked the wife as she tackled one of her biscuits at the breakfast table. "Why not try a derrick , my dear ? " suggested the brutal other half of the combination. Her Opinion. Mr. Quinn I never gazed upon such beautiful bric-a-brac as the Harwoods have in their parlor. And they've had it for years. Mrs. Quinn ( contemptuously ) Oh , it just shows that they can't afford to keep a servant. If they had a maid that bric-a-brac would never by there so long. Chicago News. The Octopus. 'What ! " ejaculated the man. "Four him .red dollars for that dress ? " "Yes. " answered the wife , soothing ly , "it is the train that makes it so expensive. " "Ah-h-h ! " groaned the husband , "that cursed railroad trust again ! " The Reverence for Obscurity. "What do you think of the new min- iters sermon ? " inquired Mr. Cmn- rox's wife. "Well. " he replied , "I guess it wasn't very good. " "Upon what do you base your opin ion ? " "I understood every word of it and got really interested. " Washington Star. "John ! Didn't you swear off swear lug the first of the year ? " John ( who has just stepped on j : ck ) I did , and I'm swearing of 'train now ! It Must Have Been. Miss Fisher Now , what would yoi ay my ase was ? Mr. Sharpe Eighteen. Miss Fisher ( coyly ) How prompt yoi are. You speak as if you had certaii n.ioledge. . Mr. Sharpe Of course , I knew it wa : hat at one time Philadelphia Press Where His Genius Shone. " 1 toll you that poet is a genius. " "A genius ? Why. his stuff is th < W < .T. t I ever read. " " 1 know. " "Kiit why do you call him a genius ? ' "Kecause he succeeds in selling it" Liulelphia ! Record. At the Play. "Where are you going , my pretty maid ? " T < tinplay , kind sir , " she said. "V , hat do you there , my pretty maid ? " Sl.imler my neighbors , sir , " she said. Up Against It. Smith What's the trouble , old man' You look as if a squall had struck you. Junes Worse than that , my boy. I've ti. C bien struck by two squalls. SmithWhy. . how's that ? Jones Got twins at our house. AH It Should Be. Itrggs A cousin of mine was married ii n.e west side j-esterday. D'tggs That's queer , ttiggs What's queer about it ? Oijrjrs Why didn't he get married on y.l sides while-he was about it ? It Never Came Back. "Take my advice. Don't lend Bur roughs any money. " "I never did. " "Why , you used to , I'm sure , be " cause "No : I used to think I was lending it > o him , but I soon discovered it was purely a gift. " Somewhat Different. Ilix Windig evidently is not a man who hides his light under a bushel. Dix You bet he isn't. On the con trary , he considers himself the whole electric power house and imagines tha town would be in total darkness If ho happened to break down. The Retort Courteous. Klephant What did the camel say when the monkey referred to his humps ? Giraffe lie said he didn't want any back talk. None the Best of Him. Blobbs Bjories has a suit of clothes for every day in the week. i Slobbs So ha\e I. I've got it on , now. Philadelphia Record. More Important. "Yes , " said the old doctor , you should try to have your own carriage , by ail means. Because when 3011 want to get to a patient quickly " . "O ! " interrupted the young M. D. , "f don't think any patient who sent for me Avould be likely to die before | reached him. " "No , but he might recover before you got there. " Philadelphia Post. Courtship Too Expensive. Tess You don't mean to say they have broken off their engagement ? Jess Yes. Tess Why , I thought they were per fectly devoted to each other. Jess So they are. You see , they have broken off the engagement so that he may save enough money to enable them to get married. Philadelphia Press. Press."A "A Poor Excuse " "What is his excuse for not marry ing ? " "Pays he doesn't want to wear darn ed socks. " "Another tire caused by friction. " "How's that ? " "Aw. rubbin' a three thousand-dolla policy on a $2.000 barn ! " Ordinary KfFort Wasted. Clara Is it true that Mabel is suin her husband for divorce ? Maude Yes. and I don't blame hei She was handicapped right from th start. Clara Why. how was that ? Maude Her husband had indigestio before they were married. Chicag News. The Sad Part. Mrs. Hatterson What ! You've ha < fourteen cooks in three months ! Mrs. Catterson Yes. And I didu' please a 115 * of them. Life. JiiHtifiable. Biggs 1 see your friend Cutting ha engaged in a new business. He ad vertises himself as a man milliner. Diggs Well , what of it ? You cer tainly wouldn't expect him to pose a : a woman milliner , would you ? Chica go News. Other UHCH. Mendicant Please , lady , will yoi give 10 cents to a poor man to keei him from starving ? Miss Flyte--Mercy no. I can't affon it ! Why. I've got to get my spring suit this week. Somerville Journal. Awful Possibility. "Neither the wide ocean nor iron bars will keep me from jou , my love ! " he cried , fervently. "But , Reginald , " whispered the Judge's daughter , as she trembled witL apprehension , "what if papa should is sue an injunction ? " Behind the Scenes. "Dear me ! " exclaimed the soubvette , "I've broken one of my : nrnugs. What shall I do ? " "Telephone for a glazier. " suggested the low comedian. Chicago News. No Other Inference. Sillicus The secret of happiness h to marry one's opposite. Cynicus Then a man must be a fpol to marry a brainy woman. Philadel phia Record. The Latter Part. "What part of my sermons do you enjoy most ? " asked Rev. Dr. Long wind. "The conclusions you reach. " replies ] Deacon Kandid. Philadelphia Record The Higher Education. "You believe in the higher education for women ? " "Well , I hardly know ; but my daugh ter says that now-a-days a girl whc can't play basket-ball and fence isn'l in it. " Weak ? " I suffered terribly and was ex tremely weak for 12 years. The doctors said my blood was all turning to water. At last I tried Ayer's Sarsaparilla , and was soon feeling all right again. " Mrs. J. W. Fiala , Hadlyme , Ct. No matter how longyou have been ill , nor how poorly you may be today , Ayer's Sarsaparilla is the best medicine you can take for purifying and en riching the blood. Don't doubt it , put your whole trust in it , throw away everything else. SI.OO a bold : . All drigi la. Ask your doctor what he tlnnks of Ayer's Sarsaprxrllla. Me known all xbotit this grand old tamily medicine. Follow his advice and ws will be satisfied. J. C. AYEit Co. . Lowell , Mass. A carrier pigeon's sneed , in calm weather , is 1,200 yards a minute. , With brisk wind prevailing , and blowing in the direction of its flight , a pigeon has been kcown to nake 1,900 yards a min'ite. - - " - " \ Just as Charles 1. was about to step on the scalTold , in 11549 , he took ) fl a pale-blue silk under shirt and ? ave it to his doctor. It was ately sold at auction iu London , ind brought $1,022. Held on to n Cimir. Palmer , Mo. , May Uth. Mrs. Lucy -ompton has for the past eight or ten rears suffered a great deal of pain and sickness. She had Kidney Trouble with in awful pain in her back which was > o bad at many times that she could scarcely get about at all. "I have been down with my back 'or the past eight or ten years , " she : ays. "ahd sometimes so bad that I . ould not get around only by holding > n to a chair or some other object. "Dodd's Kidney Pills have given me nore relief than anything I have ever ised. "After I had used the tirst box I was ilmost entirely cured of this dreadful rouble. "I can truthfully recommend Dodd'3 'vidney Pills to any woman suffering is I had suffered for so long. " Mrs. Comptoifs cure was certainly a emarkable one. Galvanized iron is merely dipped n molten zinc. The coating is tot applied electrically , as the term ; alvanized seems to imply. Gha-les Lamb would write one of lis essays in an evening , after a day pent at his desk in the East India nice. Edward Dennit was found guilty of iurder in the second degiee by a jury i i Ptitfe county , Iowa , district court. [ eis chargid with the killing of O. [ . Miller at Shenandoah , la. A horse can carry a pound on his ack to an ounce on his foot HATE OF OHIO. CITV Of TOLKDO. I LUOAS . * * - Couirry. f FRAXK .1. UHENKV makes oath that he Is the- isior partner of the firm of F.J.CHKNKT&CO. . . > mg business in the City of Toledo. County and ato aioresald. and that .said firm will pay the- im of ONE HUNDKKI ) DOLLARS foreach id every case of CATAHKH that caiinpt be ired by the use of HALL'S CATAKRII CUKK. . , FRANK J. CHENEY. ? worn to before me and subscribed in my pres- ice , this Gth day of December , A. D. 1886. A. W OLEASON , 3 HAL Koiary Public. IaU'rCaUrrh : Cure is taken internally and acts rectly on the blood and mucous surfaces of ; he stem. Send for testimonials , free. F. J. CHENEY & CO. . Toledo , CL raold by Druggists. 75c. " " Hall's Family Plils are the best. , . i" . - - \ , The English language is taught in le public chools of Japan. In the ramercial cities the Japanese uth are eager to learn English : leming it an essential qualiflcitiom secure a position and attain- jalth. L1BBY Luncheons We al th product in ker-openingean * . Turn a KIT and joa find the m t einctlj u it ] * tt us. e put them up in this war Potted Ham , Beet and Tongue , Ox Tongue ( whole ) . VealLoat , Deviled Ham , Brisket Beef , Sliced Smoked Beef. AH Natural Flaror food. . Palatable aad w&ole ome. Your grocor ihoald have them. Llbby. McNclll A Libby. Chicago "How TO MAM GOOD THINGS TO EAT" will b * Mnt fre if jcu auk u > . PISO'S CURE FOR p. Twtes Good. "Due to ttma. 8QM by drnggteta. CONSUMPTION HO. 720-21 YORK. NEB.