COW , HEN , HORSE AND BEE DOOMED ,
51
HE cow looked over the fence at
the automobile whizzing down the
* road. Then she mooed lugubriously
at old Dobbin. "Your job's gone , Dob
bin , " said the cow. "These new-fangled
affairs in the way of buggies , together
with electricity for street cars , are
driving you horses clear out of busi
ness. "
"Looks pretty bad , that's a fact , "
said Dobbin. "But I can't see that you
have any talk comin , Marie. The fac
tories are making oleomargarine now
adays that beats the best butter ever
made from cow's milk. It looks to me
as though we were soon coming to the
place where you and every other cow
In the country gets off. "
"Well , " said Marie , reflectively , "we
will have company in our misery. Now
there's th'at Plymouth Rock hen over
there. She is feeling pretty blue since
she heard the farmer talking this
morning. "
"What's the matter with her ? " ask-
d Dobbin.
"Ask her , " said Marie. "What's the
matter , Birdie ? "
COMPEITION IN HEN BUSINESS.
"Cut , cut , cut , ca daw cut , ' answer
ed the Plymouth Rock. "Bad news ,
bad news , Marie. What do you think ?
Well , ma'am , if you'll believe it , they
are manufacturing eggs down at the
factories actually cheaper than I can
afford to lay them. Yes , they are. And
more than that , they are making thou
sands of cans of what they called
'Potted Chicken'which is nothing more
jior less than Belgian hare. It's sim
ply scandalous. "
*
"Buzz , " said a honey bee that was
sitting on a clover blossom near by.
"They've got my number , too. I know
what it is. It's twenty-three. That's
right. There'l be no work for your
old friend Willie Bee in a short time. "
"What is the matter , Willie ? " asked
.Marie in a kindly tone. "Are you , too ,
to be given only a thinking part ? "
"You are spoken , correctly , " said
Willie Bee sadly. . 'Twenty-three is my
number. They are making honey now ,
the real simon-pure clover honey , out
of sugar. They call it strained honey ,
but they imitate the natural product so
closely that tne queen bee herself
wouldn't know it from the article that
our family turns out. It's a sad day
for all of us. " ,
The stern law of the survival of the
fittest , which means those who are es-
'sential to humanity's existence and va
rious needs , appears about soon to
cause the vanishing of some of man
kind's most faithful and devoted
friends.
NO USE FOR COWS.
The'cow seems slated to go the cow
that was once so powerful that an
image of her progeny was made out of
.gold and put up to be worshiped. The
cow has her faults , of course. Some
times she swishes her tail in the eyes
of the patient man who is trying to
milk her. Then again she will insert
SNAKE
. ALBERT BADGER of Nevada ,
DR. . , has found an extraordinary
bird nest. It is principally made
with interwoven snake skins.
Dr. Badger sent the nest to the Sun
day Post-Dispatch of St. Louis , Ex
pressing his curiosity to know what
species of bird had the temerity to
rear its young in snake skins. He says
ie has never before seen such a nest
and regards it as a curiosity in ornith
ology.
The nest of snake skins was turned
over to Julius Hurter , a naturalist
whose enthusiasm has in the last year
her starboard stern hoof In the milk
pall when it is brimming full of nice
warm lacteal fluid , and of course that
does not improve the quality of the
milk in the slightest degree. Then ,
again , the cow will refrain from giv
ing milk , no matter how much she
may be solicited and coaxed , and thus
induces the man who is wrestling with
her refractory spirit to smite her with
might and main with yhis bare hand
squarely in the middle of her capa
cious back. Then the man discovers
that the cow has a backbone , and ,
though he knows more about a cow'3
anatomy than he did before , it is al
ways some time before his hand gets
well.
But in the main bossie has been
man's good friend. She has given him
milk , which all scientists have declar
ed until recently was one of the best
food products ever known. Now sev
eral assert it to be harmful. However
that may be , from the milk has been
made butter , which has become almost
as necessary as bread itself. Now
something is being manufac'ured which
in color , taste , and chemical constitu
ents , is just as good as butter made-
in the old-fashioned churn. Jn the
laboratory , too , scientists are making
a good imitation of milk , said to pos
sess even more nourishing constituents
than the product of the bossie cow.
So goo'dby , Cow.
BUSY BEE MAY REST.
The little honey bee semed to be safe
from the vandalism of manufacturers.
But now glucose hpney in carloads is
being shipped to Chicago and sold as
real clover honey. The little bee , like
the cow , had its faults. He always re
sented familiarity with a sharp and
abrupt manner , and whenever he sat
down he always did so with great em
phasis. But he made the golden honey
and he kept bus"y every hour , and set
the great work an example in unremit
ting 'energy. But he is being forced
out of business by the glucose trust.
Goodby , Honey Bee.
"Tray , " lowed Marie , "you are the
only one that has no kick coming. Man
keeps you because ho likes you , not
because he needs you. You won't go. "
The dog drooped his head limply be
tween his paws. 'Ah , _ yes , my friend , I
will go with you all , " he said.
"The wild birds will son be shot out ,
and that's an end to hunting dogs.
Electric burglar alarms are ever vig
ilant and never poisoned and that's
an end to watch dogs. You are going ,
and that's an end for farm dogs. There
won't be anything left soon but wo
men's lap dogs , and that unhealthy
breed will die off itself without real
animals to freshen the stock occasion
ally. "
So it's goodby , O most faithful friend
of all , Dog. >
t
The horse seems to be gravitating
into the pet stock class. Automobiles
are taking the place of spirited teams
drawing splendid carriages. Steam and
SKIN
carried him into European fields. Mr.
Hurter made this report upon it : The
nest is indeed a curiosity , though I
have several times seen snake skins
in bird nests. I should say this is the
nest of a red-eyed vireo , which is quite
common with us from the first of May
until the middle of October. It is at
least the nest of a warbler.
I have seen vireo nests with snake
skins in them. The vireo is always a
stout-hearted Ittle fellow , and it is not
] beyond him at all to build his nest
jwith the skin of his foe.
I The vireo , like most of our birds ;
.V" .
electricity have driven him from the
country high road and the city streets ,
and he onfy shines once a year , at
the horse show , which soon will be re
garded as a relic of the dark ages , or
in the same light in which the cat
show is looked upon.
So goodby , Horse.
COCK CEASES CROWING.
The energetic biddy will also soon be
numbered with the hasbeens. The
white and the yolks of eggs are splen
didly imitated in the factories and
used by all hotels and boarding houses
and the imitation article is also gain
ing in popularity for family use. Time
was when the motherly instinct of a
hen was encouraged , and she was not
only permitted to set whenever she
wanted to , but she was even begged
with teary tears to kindly remain on
the nest and hatch out a large and in
teresting family. Now the farmer dares
the biddy hen to set. He drags her
from the nest a dozen times a day and
turns over the eggs to a heartless un
feeling incubator , and the little chick
ens are allowed to come into the world
without ever knowing a mother's love.
Canned chicken used to be a great del
icacy , but now dealers have found a
substitute in the Belgian hare , and
thousands and thousands of cans of
potted chicken are so only in name'
and taste.
So it's goodby , Biddy Hen.
Horses , cows , hensand bees will
soon be catalogued at the pet stock
show along with cats and canary birds.
They will not last long even here , for a
cat has advantages as a household pet
that the cow can never possess. A cow
cannot purr , nor would it be nice to
have a cow jump up on your shoulder
as pussy does. A cow and a horse or
two , lying in front of the grate fire
at night as the kitties do , would take
up so much of the room that the rest
of the family could find no place to sit
down.
FAREWELL TO OLD FRIENDS.
So it hardly seems possible that even
being passed from domestic animals to
the pet stock class will save the van
ishing of the horse and the cow. They
are doomed.
The hen is not so large but that she
could be kept in a cage like a parrot ,
but she hasnot the elocutionary gifts
of the parrot , and her clucking is not
altogether musical , so it hardly seem1 ;
possible that biddy will ever become a
great favorite as a pet. The little
humming bed might be kept in a mos
quito netting cage and hi& buzzing be
enjoyed to a certain extent. But the
danger of his escaping and giving the
family all hives would be so great that
few would care to keep such pets.
So vale , horse , cow , hen , honey bee.
You were our friends once , but grim
science and the machine have rele
gated you to an obscure place.
There is nothing left for you to Jo
but to go away back and sit down.
Vale , vale.
spends the winter in the tropics. Early
in spring he reappears , and he soon
begins building a nest. The snakes are
just crawling out of their holes of hi
bernation , and the warm sun loosens
their skins and enables them in a little
while to display .a new coat. The old
skins are bright and silky. They at
tract the birds , which are * now seeking
materials with which to build their
nests. Some of the birds are afraid to
carry off the snake skins and entwine
them in their nests , but the vireo , the
jay bird and some others are without
any fear. They pick up snake skins
whenever there is an opportunity , and
they aPe perhaps the most suitable of
all the nest-building materials the bird
can find. This is what the "bird which
built this nest has done. He has found
enough snake skins to make them the
principal building material in his nest ,
and he doubtless had one of the fash-
Tonable homes of his neighborhood.
Miss Katherine Hughes of Ottawa ,
Canada , "is the Deader of a movement
for providing employment for Indian
children when they leave the schools.
She is called Kateri Kaidnerenstra by
her Indian proteges , which means ' 'she
makes things go pleasantly. " t
'
r
Mrs. Charles < F. Sprague , a member
of the famous Weld family and wife of
the Massachusetts ex-congressmanhas I
purchased one of the handsomest of '
the oldtime Venetian palaces and will
have "it transplanted to Brookline , sur
passing thereby the exploit of Mrs.
Jack Gardiner. \
I
Minister Conger will soon be the '
only foreign minister In Pekin who '
passed through the siege and will then '
become the doyen of the diplomatic . *
corps. - J
\
GOVERNMENT RUN BY
CYOUNG MEN , (
Is the age of the young man in
THIS , " said Chief Examiner
of the civil service commission , Mr.
Serven , the practical man of Uncle
Sam's big employment agency. He is
an encyclopaedia on the successes and
failures of the men who have enlisted
in the classified service and is prob
ably better qualified to. advise the
young man with ambitions for public
office than any other official of the
government.
"The frequency with which grayhair-
ed old men are turning over the reins
of government to the youngsters in
the twenties , thirties and forties is
amazing , " continued the chief exam
iner. "We now have the youngest of
our presidents in the White house.some
mere boys in congress , unbearded
youths entering the insular service ,
well nigh on the top of the ladder. It
is so in nearly every executive depart
ment as well. I have been looking the
matter up.
"The boys destined to become public
men are those who are educating
themselves. The great majority are
going to reach public office by way of
the college. The other day I was look
ing at some statistics of what are sup
posed to be the people of attainment
in America , and I found that nearly
four-fifths are persons of higher edu
cation.
"In these days of higher and more
complicated development of civiliza
tion , the man or woman with system
atic mental training and who enjoys
average health , has four chances out
of every five to become a leader in
some particular line. The fifth chance
must come to him who has made"an
extraordinary effort toward self-im
provement.
"A knowledge of stenography , cou
pled with that of law , is enabling the
young men to rise rapidly to higher
positions in all branches of the federal
government. The supply of stenogra
phers for the civil service has been
below the demand for several years.
"Next to law , teaching has sent more
men to congress than any other pro
fession. It has furninshed many re
cruits to prominence in government
generally. A notable number of men
in public life have in their early days ,
while preparing for higher fields of
usefulness , earned their support while
serving as instructors.
"A notable case of the successful
young man in government who has
jntered through the qualifications men
tioned above is George B. Cortelyou ,
secretary to the president. He is still
In his thirties. After finishing a nor-
Fish With Lungs and Gills ,
baramunda , a strange fish with
THE sets of respiratory organs , is
interesting scientists in Paris ,
Prance , Avhere a specimen has been
received for the museum of natural
aistory.
The baramunda has both the gills of
a , fish and the lungs of a batrachian ,
a.nd it may use either in breathing us
It is disposed. It has been supposed
that all such creatures were extinct ,
out the baramunda has been found
alive in the Mary , Dawson and Bur
nett rivers of Queensland , where its
flesh I is highly prized as food.
It has always been a problem to nat
uralists whether creatures with two
sets of respiratory organs should be
Massed as fish or batrachian. The spec
imen sent to Paris from Queensland
removes i all doubt in this respect , for
the ! baramunda certainly has both gills
and lungs for breathing , and is just as
Certainly a fish.
The Queensland natives call the bar
amunda a salmon. This is natural , for
Its flesh looks and tastes like the flesh
of a salmon. The fish is not known j
to exist in any other rivers than those
of Queensland. It reaches there a
length of six feet in the Iarg2r speci
mens , though the specimen sent to
Paris is less than three feet in length.
It is scientifically known either as the
baramunda or the ceratodus. Its head
is slightly depressed , and , in compar
ison with itsbody , is rather small ;
its lower jaw is not prominent : its eyes
are small , and its body is covered with
large , thick scales. The belly is of a
brilliant orange color , and the body
3oes not taper off toward the tail quite
as much as is usual in fishes.
A French naturalist who has studied
the peculiar fish says the natives of
3ueensland tell many interesting sto
ries of it. Among other things , the
natives aver that the baramunda fre
quently "throws its body out of the
water for the purpose of securing a
fresh supply of oxygen , and that at
night its makes a peculiar snarling
noise. He adds :
"I have carefully watched the bara-
munda sent to Paris , and can testify
that it does raise itself out of the wa
ter for the purpose of breathing. I
have not , however , at any time heard
It make any sound resembling growl-
Ing or snarling , though I have many
nights stood near it for several hours. "
The baramunda lives mainly on fresh
water shell fish , and it apparently
mal school at 20 , he studied steno
graphy , and began work as a general
law and verbatim reporter when 21.
Later he became principal of a school ,
Improving his stenography all the
while. Four years more and he be
came private secretary to the postoffice
inspector and later to the surveyor of
the port of New York. In a few years
he was in the departments as private
secretary to the fourth assistant post
master general. Instead of idling
away his spare time he entered the
law school here and won both a bach
elor's and master's degree ;
'Secretaryships are perhaps the best
apprenticeships for those ambitious to
become statesmen and public men. The
secretaries to senators , representatives ,
cabinet officers and bureau chiefs are
in elbow touch with the most Influen
tial men of the nation every day.
"Frank Vanderlip was but 35 when
made assistant secretary by promotion
from the position of private secretary
to Secretary Gage. He began on a
farm , worked in a machine shop , stu
died in two universities , became a re
porter , financial editor and then went
to the treasury department.
"John E. Wilkie , chief of the secret
service , ' is another example of the
young man. He was in his thirties
when President McKinley gave him
his appointment. He began newspaper
work when he was 17 , but improved his
spare time with reading and study.
"O. P. Austin , chief of the bureau'of
statistics , another young man , came up
through the ranks of reporter , editor
and Washington correspondent. There
was James H. Eckels , appointed comp
troller of the currency when but 35.
He was graduated in law at 23. He
is now president of the Commercial
bank of Chicago. Charles G. Dawet.
was but 32 when appointed to the same
responsible position.
"Mr. Ridgeley , the present comptrol
ler , is also a young man. James A.
Wetmore , chief of the law and record
division of the treasury , is still in his
thirties. Commissioner of Navigation
Chamberlain was but 37 when appoint
ed. He was a Harvard graduate and
newspaper correspondent.
"Dean C. Worcester was but 32 when
he became Philippine commissioner a
few years ago. Arthur W. Ferguson ,
the new secretary of state for the Phil
ippines , cannot be much older.
"W. F. Willoughby , who was made
treasurer of Porto Rico the other day ,
is but 34. He is a university gradu
ate. Felix Brannigan , treasurer of the
Philippines , and W. Martin Schuster ,
collector of customs for the islands ,
are both young men. "
adapts itself readily to confinement.
The Paris museum authorities are very
proud of their specimen , not because
the fish has so long been considered
extinct , but also because it is regard
ed by ichthyologists as being one of
the very first fishes created.
A gentleman living on. the shares of
Lake Sunapee , in New Hampshire , has
discovered a species of fish that dis
play great skill as architects and as
builders.
"My fish had selected a quiet cove
within a few feet of the shore and
quite near a row of cottages , " says he.
"Presumably they were less in fear of
man than of the finny tribe. Their
nests were circular in form and about
the size of a bushel basket. They were
hollowed out in the center like a sau
cer , and were kept in perfect shape
and beautifully clean by a swift , afn-
like motion of the tail fin of the fish ,
held in a perpendicular position.
"The bottom of the lake being of a
dark color and these nests made of a
white sand , you could easily see what
a neat housekeeper this little fish was.
Each nest had its owner , who fought
for her 'hearth and home * with great
valor , chasing off every intruder and
seldom being vanquished in the fray. "
Lord Rosebery posseses the costliest
collection of snuffboxes in the world.
Many of them are of solid gpjd and
some are set with brilliants. A curi
ously inlaid enamel snuffbox was at
one time the property of Napoleon
Bonaparte. A small black box , stud
ded with three diamonds , belonged to
the statesman Pitt , while another one ,
plainly inlaid with fine gold , was used
by Fox. Although the collection com
prises only twenty-rtwo boxes altogeth
er , its estimated value is $175,000.
The mother'of the Chicago quadru
plets , whose husband fled , says mar
riage is a failure. In this instance '
there came first twins , then triplets ,
then quadruplets nine babies in three
years. How anyone can figure this
record as a failure Is a problem passed
up to the congress of moth'ers.
Chicago Tribune : The guide was
showing him the big trees. "This one , "
he said , "is supposed to be about 2,000
years old. " "What a Twentieth century
club It would make ! " commented the
professor.
WASHING I OX'S SWOKD.
Ito Sold Beo ! ! a Uabj Need * tfe
Money *
Miss Virginia Lewis , who has at last
' consented to sell the sword of Washing
ton , for whlcn she once refused $50,000 ,
says the oan Francisco correspondent
of the Cincinnati Enquirer , was turned
from her desire to keep it by the prat-
tllngs of a baby , and that baby Is cer
tainly entitled to the money , if blood
counts for anything. Mrs. Grace Leo
Lewis Mann is the mother of the baby ,
and the neice of Miss Lewis , who set
out for Baltimore a little while ago to
sell the sword. Miss Lewis has already
negotiated by mail and in person with
the Metropolitan museum of New York ,
but the museum disagrees with her In a
matter of $50,000. She wants $100,000
for the heirloom , but Its offer has not
yet gone above the half o'f that price.
It certainly has accomplished about
enough for one sword already. It at
tended to the settling of some French
men and some Indians in a very neat
manner , and later on It showed the
British a trick or two. It might have
earned a rest by this time , one would
think , but no. It Is to bring a neat
price that Baby Mann may have what
her mother calls more "nice things"
when she grows up.
The line by which Mrs. Mann traces
her connection with George Washing
ton Is a long one , full of distinguished
people. She Is to join the Society of
Colonial Dames. A lot of people would
give their eyes to be able to squeeze In
to the Dames by even one ancestor ;
two makes you a distinguished member.
Look at the names on Mrs. Mann's ap- *
plication :
On the paternal side she claims lineal
descent from Governor Samuel Ogle ,
Gov. Benjamin Tasker , William Bladen ,
Col. John Taylor , Hon. Henry Corbin.
Any one of these ancestors would en
title her to become a member of the
Colonial Dames. All of them together
make her tenfold a member , and that
is more than enough for one seventeen-
year-old woman. . But she has the
further audacity to have George Wash
ington for her great-great-great-grand-
uncle.
This comes through the marriage of
Col. Fielding Lewis and Elizabeth
Washington , the president's sister.
When Mrs. Mann was baptized the
water with which she was sprinkled
was contained in Washington's punch
bowl. When the baby was baptized a
year ago the same punch bowl made the
trip from Baltimore to serve as a
font for her.
To this same small Betty Washington.
Mann is to come the heritage of the
price of the ancestral sword. It was
exhibited at the world's fair , and Miss
Lewis was offered $20.000 for it Later
on it went to Tiffany's , and the owner
refused a much larger sum for it She
has set her valuation at $100.000 , and
the price she has determined shall come
to California to the little grandniece of
the distinguished lineage. '
Dirty Face.
One of the many stories told in Ger
many about the Crowne Prince's child
hood has almoSt become a household
word with his future subjects , so fmre-
quently has it been told in nurseries.
Nothing afforded the young Prince
when a child of six or seven greater
pleasure than to watch the sentries sa
lute as he passed in or out of the castle
at Potsdam and the old soldiers ware
kept at it from night till morning. This
delight was equalled only by his aver
sion to water , and the poor woman who
was charged with his toilet averred
that he lay awaek nights devising a
means to escape the cold morning bath.
One day the child rushed in upon the
Emperor and Empress as they sat at
breakfast with a fierce complain :
against the sentry who neglected to sa
lute him as usual that morning. The
emperor drew his son close to him cur
iously , and then replied. "I don't won
der , my son , the poor sentry did not
recogniez the Crown Princa in this
dirty-faced little boy. so I cajinot have
him"reprimanded. . " This was the last
time the Princa ever refused to have
his face washed.
Bent Mnrclnck' * Beer Stein.
"Many years ago , " says the El Dora
do Republican , "a charming woman , a
relative who lives in Baltimore , sent us
a graceful looking piece of pottery , in
white and blue and yellow , with silver
top and numerous art pictures on the
sides. It has a small music box in the
bottom of it and when wound up plays
delightful tunes that is , as long as we
hold it in our hand , but when we set
it on the table it stops. It will hoid
about a pint , and we have often won
dered what it is for. We have been
using it all along to hide small parcels
in , concluding it was simply a parlor
ornament The other day a Wichita
friend was in the house. Picking up
the ornament he remarked : 'What a
beautiful beer stein. ' 'Beer what ? ' we
inquired. 'Beer stein , to drink baerout
of. ' And ever since then we have been
thinking of borrowing a bottle of beer
to find out how it would taste from a
genuine beer stein with the music play
ing and all that The next time a cass
comes to town we wish somebody would
let us know. We presume somebody
will get a case fo'r the Fourth of
July. "
Snails are not only regarded as a
great delicacy in Paris , but are rsckon-
ed as very nutritious. Hygienists say
that they contain 7 per cant of nitrogjn-
ous matter , and they ara equal to
oysters in nutritive properties.
Minnesota's Public Printer is a hus
tler. He heat all records this year by '
publishing 495 laws , passed by the state '
legislature , within forty-eight" koara af--
tar the legislature adjourned.
The use of acetylene abroad is vrrv- .
much more general than it is in this ,
country. As an instance the Holland
Railway Company is erecting at Am
sterdam a factory for the production of
carbide , their intention being to employ
acetylene for car lighting.
The loftiest viaduct in the world has
just been completed across a gorge in
the Shan Hills , in Upper Burmah ;
5,000 tons of steel were used in its con
struction and it cost $700,000.
Russell Sage has become , rather/ l
in life , a billiard enthusiast , and spee
several evenings a week In that form
relaxation , in which he baa betoo *
quite expert