SHIPS AT SEA.
Oh , ninny fillips have I at sen
Tim I wiJIetl away long years ago.
Soni' dtiy they're coining buck to me ,
But \vlifti and how I cannot knoAV.
Sometime } * [ winder on the shore ,
And v.'atoh the far horizon dim ,
Where vanished in those days of yore
My ; irg ( sies so licet and trim.
I sc.'mvlh \ catjcr eye- * the waves
That dunce and sparkle in the light ;
A A'isimi fiir : my fond heart craves ,
Alirt. w * sail is yet in sight !
OfttimcH [ find upon the sand
A Iirokwi plank , u shattered spar ,
A bout : ui'l rusty iron hand
Oh. vo'cr-less tale of Avrecks afar.
Then mmous fears crowd in my breast ,
And veil Hie sunshine in the sky.
Shall f litts my tfood ships eud their quest ?
Shall tai. ; their fate be by and by ?
0 friends with ships far out at son ,
That hiiiied away so long ago.
Soiw d < , v they're coining back to thcc ,
But wli.ii and how we may not knoAV.
Percli-inc ! ' with sails all rent and soiled ,
BaU < T" < l and bruised thy ships may be ,
Of li'-'K'fy and grace they may bu de-
; ii ii-il { ,
H av.v and slow they may conic to thee.
But cwiii-- ( hey morning , noon or night ,
With llyinj ? colors or broken mast ,
Our licisrK will cry with a thrill of de-
Ikf't ,
"Thank God Uiat our shins have come
id ai last ! "
Bo-it HI Transcript.
BLUNDERING
INTO MATRIMONY ,
RS. CRAMER , a
AV call h y young
AvidOAV , lived in a
style of simple ele
gance in a desir
able quarter of the
city. Lter personal
attendant , Susie
Moore , Avas young ,
pretty and coquet
tish , with half a
score of lovers at
her heels , so that it
is nut to IK * Avondered at that she AA-as
at titiu-s { ih r > nt-miiided and giddy.
Mr.- ; r.nitm'r had gone out calling
and Hu..K' was doing two things at
one" . s , { - was rending for the tAven-
: ietls ? ia . ' a declaration of love she had
ivmv-'il that morning and dusting a
nuif { fo-'ot ' > table that stood in the cen
ter uf tli , " room. An ominous crash
' .vh 'h lo'lowed ' an unlucky Avhisk of
her dusi-or caused her to drop both the
broom : nul the letter and exclaim :
"My goodness ! "
On tli" carpet lay thr fragments of a
costly porcelain cup. a valued gift of
ihe do.'ic departed ! Instant dismissal
Avas the ( r-ist she could expect in case
of d toc-iion , and IIOAV could detection
be avoided ? Xo one else had access
to Ihe : i ( ; irtment , and there Avasn't a
cat on i lie premises.
But Sitsie Avas a girl of resources. A
brigiitdwi struck her and she ran to
the Ii.-ick yard , snatched up a stone
twice ; M largo as a hen's egg. and
I
dashed if through one of the panes of j
H ivnr v/iiidoAV. Then returning to the
parlor li ' picked up the stone and laid
it auiouu ( lie pieces of the broken cup.
"But will that look right ? " she'ejac
ulated. "People don't throw stones
through windoAvs for nothing , and this
being a hack windoAv. Avhy I have it ! "
Tier love letter lay at her foet. It had
noitlKT address nor signature , though
Avell shekncAV whence it came. Catch
ing up Hio missiAre and the missile , she
hastily wrapin.nl the one around the
other. i > cuviiig the parcel AA'ith a
throat ! , and placed it amid the ruins.
HfivUitc finished her Avork. Stisio
closed tlie apartment and took good
care auf lo be there Avhen her mistress
reiwnod.
If Mrs Cramer Avas A'oxod Avhen she
SUAV hci- broken cup and AviudoAv , she
Ava.s indignant Avhen she came to iuves-
lijrnlo the cause.
"Who can have dared to take such a
liberty ? " sh exclaimed , crumpling the
paper MI her hand ; but she had scarcely j
asked flio question Avhou a dark suspi
cion took possession of hor.
The damaged AvindoAv nol only over
looked her ovv-u back yard but die garden -
don of .in adjoining proprietor , a gen
tleman passionately devoted to horti
culture , and Mrs. Cramer had occa
sionally busied herself for a foAv min
utes In looking out upon his labors. Th *
two had often exchanged jdancos , hut
never Hie .slightest token of recognition.
She htid thought him : ; proper man.
and ho had sometimes lingered a little
Irmjjor at his Avork than ho probably
Avould have done had ( ho bright eyes
of the u'idoAV been absi w.
To suspect AA'as to.resolve , and. instantly -
stantly lying up the stone in the lettei- .
as slic had found thorn , she walked to
the wimloAV. and Avith all her niiir'it
hurled back the hated mi'ssasro ooyond
ihe enemy's confines : : id ai once re-
treated.
The innocent and uns"spi-cili neigh
bor , who chanced lo bo sioopir.cr out of
> iht diijging Avoeds in iht' midst of i K
shrubbery , startled by liio S' ; uid uf
U
v.-Lif . - be juotrorle
v.Lifnight some body
; \b'/-'iug past in dai ! ; : ! > i us pr ; xai'ty
i < . in.tifad , raised hims ; : ! " JUM In ! : >
to C ! > fcli : i glimpse of Ihe widov..s iv-
ctdiiij ; figure.
But judge of his surprise : is r : > i-yrs
foil 01 : ( ho strange object .Avhich had
barely missed knocking him < lo vn.
With a trembling hand he undid the.
parcel , and , as ho read it. his heart flut
tered worse than Sr.sie's had ( lone in
the morning.
The fact is. ho had long been : : : love
AviTh 1'uo widow and hd secretly 'tch d
for an opportunity to trJl her so. J.m to
ri-oiMve an unequlvor-.d docia rat'.ui
.from her that AA-OS a little more than
ho had eArer dared to hope. fcome ? fas- <
tidiouH people might think such a pro- <
iwi'-licate _ but iliv widow had
evidently taken pity on his backward
ness ; besides , Avasn't it leap year ? True ,
her grammar might haA'e been bettei\
and her spelling AA-as , to say the least
indifferent. But then he Avasu't partial
to literary ladies. Domesticity AA-as
AA-hat he wanted , and the widow was
the picture of that. The note said some
thing about not forgetting G o'clock.
Xo. he wouldn't forget it. And he
didn't.
At G o'clock sharp Elijah Rogers pre
sented himself at Mrs. Cramer's door
and AA-as admitted by Susie.
"Tell your mistress , " he said , "that A
gentleman desires to see her. "
"Please Avalk in , " invited Susie.
The fair widoAV AA-as prompt in mak
ing her appearance.
"Mrs. Cramer , I am Mr. Rogers Eli
jah Rogers your neighbor , " said the
caller , arising and introducing himself ,
Avith some nervousness and a heighten
ed color.
The AvidOAV boAved stiffly , for in Mr.
Rogers , though better dressed and of
course better looking than she had
ever seen him in his garden , she recog
nized immediately the ruthless tres
passer Avho had broken her AvindoAv ,
smashed her china , and been guilty of
other acts against her peace and dig
nity.
"I scarcely ICIIOAV , madam , " Mr. Rog
ers began , after a painful pause , "IIOAV
to preface Avhat I am about to say , but
the note "
"That , indeed , requires explanation ! "
exclaimed the AvidoAA * .
"And yet I had flatered myself that it
AA-as sufficiently explicit , " returned Mr.
Rogers , somcAvhat disconcerted.
"Sufficiently explicit , no doubt , " con
ceded Mrs. Cramer. "But the mo
tive "
"Do iiot say it Avas to deceive"Vitor-
posed the caller.
"And the method chosen , ' ' cried the
AvidoAv ; "perfectly unheard of "
"Whatever others may think , " said
Mr. Rogers. "betAveen us tAvo it CPU
ucA-er be misinterpreted. "
And Mr. Rogers told his love told it
so much better than the stray note
could have done that the widoAV would
have Avoudorod IIOAV much his tongue
AA-as mightier than his pen had she been
in any mood for such comparisons.
She and Mr. Rogers have UOAV been
married many years , but Avhether they
ever discovered hoAV the broken cup
first broke the ice betAveen them is
more than I can tell. XCAV York Even
ing World.
The egg-plant is a native of Asia , Af
rica and South America.
Kissing is unknown to the Australian
aborigines , the Maoris , Papuans and
Eskimo.
Among the Kols of Central India a
sham fight always accompanies a Aved-
ding ceremony.
Suicide at one time was A'cry com
mon among the Brahmins of India ,
Avho held the body in contempt , regard
ing it merely as a covering for the sold.
Census-jtaking is Japan is simple , but
the results are utterly untrustAA-orthy.
The houses are counted , and an aver
age of five persons is alloAved for each
house.
The Papuans of the Malay coast of
Xow Guinea are still in the most priini-
: ive state. They are Avholly unac
quainted Avith metals , and make their
weapons of stone , bones and AA'ood.
The laAvs of Mexico provide that a
Mormon Avho Avishes to take a second
Avife must present a certificate , signed
by his first help-meet , to the effect that
she is Avilliug ; and he must also haA-e
the express consent of the second Avife
and her parents.
A singular custom prevails among
the Tartars or Kurds. If a man loses
his cattle or other property , he pours a
little brown sugar into a piece of col
ored cloth , ties it up , and carries one
such parcel to each of his friends and
acquaintances. In return he is pre
sented , according to circumstances ,
with a COAV , or sheep , or a sum of
money.
A regular slave-mart still exists in
many country districts of Finlan. Once
a year such paupers , lunatics , and aged
people of each parish as cannot sup
port themselves are put up at public
auction , and consigned to those fami
lies or farmers who will board thorn at
the lowest price offered by the parish
authorities. The helpless creatures
are made to Avork as much as possible
by their OAvners , AA-IIO have the right to
chastise them.
A Itural Sherlock ; Holmes.
"Gentlemen. " began the proprietor of
the only hotel at BassAVood corners ,
"I've run this here institution for over
thirty years. It's given me a first-rate
chance to study human uator. An' now ,
in some respects , I think I'm a sort of
Sherlock Holmes. I'A-C had married
couples come Here in all stages of their
matrimonial careers , from the blushin' ,
cooin' things that hain't got the rice off
ot Vm yet to the couples Avhere the
man lets the Avonian carry most of the
baggage , an' I toll ye , gentlemen , I can
toll purty straight IIOAV long a couple
lias been married by Avatchin * the hus-
! ; : ird got his Avife a drink of Avater. "
-Co alioad , " AVO said. "What's your |
rlipoovoryV" . '
"Well. Avhou the tender young honeymooners - '
mooners come here , an' the feller gets
the bride a drink of Avator , if there's
; iny loft in the glass after she gets
through , why , he drinks it. If the
couple has boon married a year or so
the feller Avill throw out the water that
iits Avife leaves in the glass and get
himself some fresh. Ain't that purty
straight ? " Judge.
Dried Bananas ,
Dried bananas are IIOAV being export
ed from Queensland. They are intend
ed as a substitute for raisins in Briiial ?
puddings. . _ - . - ,
BLUE AND THE GBAY
BRAVE MEN WHO MET ON THE
FIELD OF BATTLE.
Thrilling Storieu of the Rebellion-
Old Soldiers and Sailors Relate Remi
niscences of Liife in Camp and on
the Field-Incidents of the War.
The Rev. Dr. Henry Tan Dyke tells
two stories that are illustrative of Avhat
is sometimes called the "chivalrous sen
timent" of the Southern people.
"When I Avas a child , " said he , "my
father took me with him on a trip to
Charleston , S. C. It happened to be a
period of intense excitement early in
1SG1. The State authorities had recent
ly passed the 'ordinance of secession , '
the citizens of Charleston were
wrought up to a high pitch , and Major
Anderson had been shut up in Fort
Suinter. I remember my experiences
at that time as vividly as if I had
passed through them yesterday. One
of them AA-as in connection Avith the
historic incident of Major Anderson's
defense of the fort against the Southern
guns.
"The Federal troops were almost des
titute of provisions , and it AA-as a ques
tion as to IIOAV long they could hold out.
It AA-as Avell understood in Charleston
that any attempt on the part of the
United States to reproA'ision the garri
son Avould be resisted by force. There
stood Anderson AA'ith his handful of
men , under the stars and stripes , fac
ing starvation or surrender possibly
annihilation. Around the old brick
fort , rising sheer from the bosom of
the sea , Avere ranged the batteries that
Avero ready at a signal to giA'e the coup
do grace. Matters AA-erc in this critical
juncture Avhon I had the privilege of
witnessing a man-clous act of chival
rous and tender sentiment.
"I obsen-ed one day that a number
of small boats Avere putting off from
the docks and making for Fort Sumter
where lay the beleaguered Federal
troops. My astonishment was redou
bled when I learned that the women of
Charestou had laden these boats with
provisions of till sorts and luxuries , and
were actually sending them to the sol
diers Avhom their brothers and fathers
Avere trying to subdue by starvation or
by shot and shell. I aftenvard learn
ed that Maj. Anderson Avas very much
liked by the AA-OIUOU , and , indeed , by all
the people of Charleston ; but it struck
me as quite remarkable that even the
near approach of Avar and tlie neces
sity felt by all , of the capture of Fort
Sumter from the Federals , Avere not
sufficient to suppress the chivalry and
hospitality of these people.
"As the boats AA'ere pulling out I look
ed into them to see Avhat kind of food
the ladies were sending to their enemy.
There AA-as OAery : delicacy that could
be found in the market , and I can re
member UOAV how nice I thought the
dainties looked , IIOAV I should haAc
liked to taste some of them , and how
I wondered what an impression such
circumstances would make upon Maj.
Anderson and his men.
"Shortly after the sending of these
provisions to the beleaguered fort by
the Avomen of Charleston the men of
Charleston , from their batteries on
Morris Island , fired upon the Star of
the West , which AVUS engaged upon a
similar mission. Charleston would not
haAe allowed the Federal Major and
his garrison to starve , but it was equal
ly determined not to permit the United
States Government to provision the
fort. The distinction was clear enough ,
and the presence of Avar itself could
not hold in abeyance the obligations of
hospitality.
"I remember just as A'ividly another
experience an the South. Shortly after
the Avar I AA-as in Virginia Avith my
farher , and he took me to see Gen.
Robert E. Lee , AA-IIO AA-as then at Wash
ington and Lee University. I don't
think that I have ever seen a man
Avhos ? great personality impressed me
more. Gen. Lee was one of the feAV
men I have seen who seemed to me to
bear upon their broAV the unmistaka
bly stamp of greatness. Tie was ex
ceedingly courteous and Icind. It oc
curred to him at once that I , AVIO AA-as
a boy at the time , might enjoy a ride
on his war stead. So TraA-eler Avas
brought out and the General placed me
in the saddle : and for a feAV moments
[ sat upon the horse than his com
panionship in march and in battle had
made famous. " NCAV York Times.
Same Ptory Brought Up Ajrain.
"One of the best stories of the late
war , ' ' said the captain. "AVOS told of a
volunteer Avhovns at home a man of
ivcalth. He had performed all his du-
Lies Avithout murmuring , until one
stormy night he Avas detailed to guard
\ Avagou , load of provisions. lie stood
in the rain , for a time , and then asked
the corporal not to relieve him. but to
; o to the Colonel and find out IIOAV
inuch the Avagon and Hs load Avas
rt'orth. The messenger returned Avith
: he statement that AA-agon and contents
kvorc Avorth say $400. Thereupon the
juard drew his check for that amount ,
md sent it to the colonel Avith the
statement that he Avould buy the Avhole
lamed outfit and go to bed.
"All this may haA'e happened , but
: ho same story Avas told of a volunteer
n the civil AA-ar. While 1 A\as dcnvn at
lie Stone River National cemetery at
Murfreesboro , Tonn. , the other day
Superintendent Barrett sheAved me
iractically the same story in a copy of
Harper's Magazine for Juno. 1S34. In
; his story the hero is Prh-ate Koch , a
soldier of the Philadelphia Machpher-
; on Blues. Koch. Avho was Avorth $1-
500.000 , had enlisted in the Blues as a
loliday soldier , but the company or
egiment Avas ordered out m the Penn
sylvania whisky insurrections of 171)4.
rhe campaign AA-as not at all to the
iking of the citizen-soldiers , but tliey
esolved to do their duty.
"Koch , who was "a large outdoor un-
derwriter in Philadelphia , Avas detail
ed one stormy night to guard a bag
gage AA-agon. After remaining at his
post for an hour the sentinel called for
the corporal of the guard. When the
corporal caino Koch asked to be rc-
lieA-ed for a few minutes that he might
go and see Macphersou , the brigade or
regimental commander , on important
business. He AA'ent to the quarters of the
general , whom he outranked as a busi
ness man , and asked Avhat might be the
value of the AA-agon which he AA-as
guarding. The general at a venture
said $1,000. Thereupon Koch said ,
'Very AA'ell , General Maepherson , I
AA-rites a check for der inonej-s and den
I shall go to my beds. ' "
HOTV Grant Managed Them.
When Captain Grant , formerly of the
regular army , Avas appointed colonel
of an Illinois Regiment , in place of
Colonel Geode , John A. Logan , AA-hilc
escorting him tc the camp , sadd : "Col
onel , the regiment is a little unruly.
Do you think you can manage the
boys. ; "
"I think I can , " replied Grant.
Logan and McClernand , tA\o Con
gressmen , made patriotic speeches ,
and Logan , after a two hours' oration ,
led forward a quiet man , in plain citi-
xen's clothes , saying :
"Allow me to present to you your
UC-AV commander , Col. U. S. Grant. "
"Most of the soldiers observed him
for the first time , " writes Hamlin Gar-
laud , from Avhose "Life of Grant" AVO
have quoted. "They were astonished
and disappointed. " Grant looked like
a grave country doctor. But he show
ed that he could manage the "unruly
boys. " There were loud calls : "Grant ,
Grant ! A speech ! " Their late colonel
used to "orate" before them. The HCAV
colonel stepped tAvo paces toward
them , and said in a clear , calm voice :
"Men , go to your quarters. "
If an eight-inch shell had exploded
in their ranks , the "boys" Avould not
have been more surprised ; but they
Avent to their quarters. There AA-as that
in the ncAAcolonel's A-OICC Avhich ex
pressed command. The tone Avas not
loud , but it Avas given Avith a clear-cut
inflection which showed him a master
of men.
That evening at dress parade , as he
stepped to the center of the regiment ,
AA-ariug no uniform save a pair of gray
trousers Avith a stripe running doAvn
the outside seams , and an old SAvord ,
the men jested in IOAV voices about their
IIOAV commander.
Colonel Geode , the late colonel not
infrequently used the daily parade as
an occasion to make a speech , and the
men expected one from Grant. The
line-officers advanced , and the adjutant
saluted.
"A soldier's first duty is to learn to
obey his commander. I shall cxpct
uiy orders to be obeyed as exactly and
as instantly as if AVO Avere on the field
of battle. "
That Avas all he said. As the men
marched back to quarters , a private
asked : "What do they mean by send
ing doAA-n a little man like him to com
mand this regiment ? He can't pound
dry sand in a straight hole. "
"lie can't make a speech ! Look at
the clothes he Avears ! Who is he , auy-
hOAV ? "
"Boys , " retorted a sergeant , "I'll tell
you Avho he is. lie's the colonel of this
regiment , as you'll find , and don't you
forget it ! "
The sergeant was a prophet. The
regiment had obtained all the liqtior it
wished for. Grant stopped that. A
man resisted arrest.
"What's the matter ? " asked Grant
of the officer of the day.
"The man persists in bringing liquor
into camp and refuses to give it up. "
"Put him into the guard-house. "
"Ho refuses to go. "
Grant stepped up to him , seized him
by the collar , and jerked him outside
of the camp gate. "Get out of my regi
ment , " he said. "You are not Avorth
disciplining. If you come back I'll
have you shot1. "
A big , dangerous man. named "Mex
ico. " was tied up , Avith a score of
others , for leaving camp Avithout per
mission. "For every minute I stand
here I'll haA-e an ounce of your blood , "
said he to the colonel.
"Gag him ! " replied Grant.
One by one , as the hours passed , the
other offenders Avere released by the
officers of the guard. Grant released
"Mexico" himself. The bully saw that
his colonel was his master , and the
regiment began to find out that it ha a
a colonel.
Five Geiierntions.
A unique experience has fallen to the
lot of an old fisherman liA'ing in the A-il-
lage of Buckie , in Scotland. He was
photographed recently with his family ,
sheAving five generations. "Farmer"
John Murray , the head , is 90 years of
age. and is said to be hale and hearty. ,
Elis son , William Henry , is GO. Will
iam's daughter. Margaret , is 08 , and
Margaret's daughter ( also named Mar
garet ) is IS. The last named has re
cently presented the AA-orld with a sou.
\vho thus completes the fifth link of
this remarkable family chain. A fur
ther notable thing about old "Farmer"
Murray is that he Avas the first fisher
man in Great. Britain to discover the
use of herring bait to catch Avhite lish.
Glue from Seaweetl.
A fresh use for seaAvoed is claimed to ! \
.iave been discovered by a Xorwogian | t :
mginocr , Avho exhibited an invention j
it the Stockholm exhibition for pro-
lucing paper glue , dressing gum and c
soap for soaAveed. The first establish- (
uont for this branch of manufacture is
.o bo erected in the district of StaA-
An old lady , who is very much of a
bore , paid a. visit to a family of her
icquaiurance. She prolonged her stay
md finally said to one of the children :
I am going aAvaj * directly , Stanley ,
md I Avant you to go part of the Avay
rt'ith me. " "Can't do it. We are going
: o have dinner as soon as you leave , "
. eplied Stanley.
A BEAUTIFUL GAME
A. New Swindle Which Has Been Suc
cessful.
Swindling is as monotonous as ethics
or mathematics , and the various ways
and means resorted to in the last dec
ade of the nineteenth century for ob
taining possession of other people's
money were matters of common knowl
edge in the Egypt of 1 Jameses the
Groat. But the Parisian police now
allirm that a new departure has been
made on the banks of the Seine. And
this is how it was worked :
An office was hired in a good business
street by the inventor of the trick , who
assumed the title of somebody and com
pany , chemical agents. Being convinc
ed advocates of women's rights , they
employed some members of the fair
sex , who , dressed in the height of fash
ion , used the most fashionable per
fumes , and then visited singly the l > est
apothecaries' shop. One of these fair ,
false emissaries would stop her cab at
the chemists' , come in. and , taking out
her purse , ask for another bottle of Dr.
Beaumont's elixir. "Dr. Beaumont's
what ? " ' said the young man behind the
counter. "The elixir ; don't you know ? "
"Xo ; 1 am afraid I never heard of it. "
"Oh , how tiresome ; and my poor rheu
matic husband will be so disappointed.
Are you sure it was not here that our
servant bought it before ? " "Xo ,
madam ; it was not here. Where is it
sold wholesale ? " "It is sold wholesale ,
1 think " And here the lady showed
the ticket on the bottle. "It costs eight
francs. "
That same day the chemist bought
the elixir wholesale , laying in a fail-
stock of it , and meanwhile many of
the confreres were doing likewise. But.
as nobody called any more on the oblig
ing chemists to buy the elixir , one of
the curious confraternity analyzed this
specific which was supposed to relieve
rheumatics. lie found that it. was at
least perfectly harmless , consisting of
water colored by coffee grounds. The
police were then let loose upon the la
dies and the chemical agents , but they
had all moved on , leaving no address.
They are said to have netted about 10- ,
OUO francs by the trick.-London Tele
graph.
From a Trapeze to ; i Pulpit.
From a music hall trapeze to the pul
pit of a Baptist church is a long jump ,
even for an acrobat , yet the Rev.
Charles II. Fitzwilliam of Pittsburg
lias made it.
Many years ago. when he was a lad.
he AVUS the pet of vaudeville s-hoAvs. an
uiept Avirh cards , at home in the smoke-
laden , liquor--'ceilted ; ' air of the cheap
t'heateiv. There ho was "Little Char
lie. " one of t-lie cleverest trapeze per
formers in F.ngland.
To-day he is the Kev. Charle * II.
Fitzwilliam. pastor of the Fifth Bap
tist Church of Pittsburg. Avhose elo
quent denunciations of vice haA'c made
him a terror to evil-doers.
Mr. KitH William's father was a trap
eze performer , ami the boy began to
perform Avhon he was only 4 years of
age. IIis father was killed Avhen he
wa ll ! years old. and he Avas penniless.
He left the staire ami found Avork in a
shop. For four years he endured great
hardships aiM almost starved. Then
he Avalked to Lanea.-hire and secured a
place in a machine shop. His oratori
cal powers soon developed at a meeting
in regard to the Bulgarian atrocities.
This led him to study for the ministry.
In 1877 he came to America. XOAV
York World.
He Obeyed Instructions.
Tlie Club Women tells an amusing
story of a party of Avomen Avho recently
visited Pike's Peak. A youth , still in
knee breeches , although he Avore a col
lar of extraordinary height and stiff
ness. Avas their guide , but his knowl
edge of the points of interest appeared
to be slight.
Every lew minutes he stood up and
shouted the names of certain bould-ers -
and streams. When AVO Avere nearly
at the top he called out :
"On the right is the Lion's Mouthy
"Why is it called the Lion's Mouth ? "
asked a skeptical lady. Avho had pes
tered him Avith "whys' ' all the way.
-AAV. I dtmno. " said the lad. tired of
being asked for information. "I AA--IS
told to holler these names. I dunne
why uothiif. It's my job to holler , and
so I holler. "
Story Told on lAszt.
There i < a story told of Liszt to the
effect that he was one day A'ery hard
m a pupil wluxe playing he condemned
rathi r Novoroiy. Tlie pupil said she had
-'ludSed ' the piece under Mme. Schu
mann. To which Liszt replied : "Mine.
Schumann , Mme. Schumann : Yes , you
liave learned from her IIOAV one plays
the piano when one has six children
) oor woman , six children ! In such
liourceois life any great interpretation
s impossible. You must play this
( icr-e diilVreutly Avlien I : un your tuas-
or. Thank God. 1 have nw six chii-
Iron ! "
A iiiKht oT Burial.
Despite the jrroAvinjc difficulty of tinti
ng --pace for the interment of public
lien within tlie Avails of Westminster
Vhbey. at Ir.ist one noble family still
: ijny < a prescriptive right of burial
liciv. Tlu > i- are tlie Dukes of Xorth-
unberlaud , who IwA-e the exclusive use
> i ! a > .pacious A-ault in the Chapel of St.
Sid olas. This vault. Avhich Avas the
a si ro.-ting-pia < v of the Seymours , was
> pencd a > , recently as ISSo to receive
he remains of Lady Louisa Percy , the
> IdersKter of the pros-cut Duke.
Dolldom Aristocracy.
"My doll can slim her eyes and go to
ilcep just lovely. "
"Iluhl My doll never goes to sleep
it all : she's got insommer. " Chi.-ago
lecord.
A Little of Everything.
"Do you haA-e much variety at your nrt
warding house ? " rt
"Plenty. There's no end of hash. "
Literature failure.
meeting at
"Did you have a profitable
the Miuerva Club ? "
bobson sat righC
" Maud
"No ; that big
in front of me. and I couldn't see DOAY
the President's neAV bat was trimmed
at all. " Detroit Free Ik'css.
A Bitter Slur. '
"For my part , I don't believe that
Eve Avas happy , even before the advent
of the serpent. "
"Why ? "
"There Avere no neighbors" children
to criticise. "
He Didn't MIt It Out.
He was a fragile youth and didn't
dance all the dances.
"Lot's sit it out , " he said to his pret *
ty partner.
"Where ? " she asked.
"On the stairs. "
So they Avcnt up a little way and sat
down.
"Wh-Avhy , Avhat's the matter. Mr-
Stackpole ? " cried the fair young girl.
For the young man had hastily risen
and Avas gasping for breath. He could
not reply. His face was livid , his eyes
were rolled up , and witr. one shaking
hand he clawed feebly at the skirts of
his Tuxedo.
"What kind of attack is it ? " sh9
gasped.
At this question his voice came back
to him.
"What difference does that make ? "
he harshly groAA-led. Thou , without a
word of apology he dashed up the
stairs and flung himself into the
tlemen's coatroom.
And how AV.IS she to know that it was
an ordinary carpet tad : that the man
Avho canvsissed the stairs had careless
ly left standing on its iaad ? CleA-e
land Plain Dealer.
J'orco Rico iii a. Nutshell.
Width , 37 miles. Length , 108. Very
wealthy. Poverty unknown. Area ,
3f 30 square miles. Tre 'S are aUvays
green. Every man OAA-IIS a horse.
Older than the United .States. Prin
cipal sport is cock-fighting. One moun
tain is 9,000 feet high. Every house
has a roof garden. Ail San Juan
people are Catholics. Principal pas
time is horseback riding. Has rnoro
and abler mosquitoes than Jersey. San
Juan , the capital , has sn.OOO inhabit
ants , and has the finest harbor in the
West Indies. People sloop in the day ,
and shop and visit n.t night. Water
supply is one of the principal sources
of revenue. Cleveland Press
He Attends to Business.
He attends to business who goes
straight to work te > cure Xeuralgla by
the use of St. Jacobs Oil , and saves
time and money and gets out of misery
quickly. He's all right.
At tlie Heicht of the Quarrel.
"When I die , " said Mr. Pneer , "you'll
have the goodness , 1 hope , at least to
close my eyes. "
"Yes" blazed forth Mrs. Pueer , "and
I'll put the smallest of copper coins on
them ! A cent has always been as big
to your eyes as a htJf dollar : " Chicago
Tribune.
Attention is called to .1. .1. Gregory &
Son's adv. of seeds in another column.
If we haA'e need of u .strong AA-iil in
order to do good , it is still more neces
sary for us in order not to do evil.
Mole.
" Only the First Step
is "
Difficult.
The first step in Spring
should be to cleanse Nature's
house from Winter's accumu
lations. Hood's Sarsaparilla
does this work easily. It is
America's Greatest Spring
Medicine. It purifies the blood
as millons of people say.
It makes the AA'eak strong , as nenoua
men and Avomen gladly testify. It
cures all blood diseases , as thousands
of cured voluntarily write. It iff just tha
medicine for you , as you Avill gladly say
after you ha\-e given it a frrir trial.
Bad BlOCd- " Although past 70 years of
age I am thoroughly Avell. It was three
bottles of Hood's Sarsaparllla. that made
me so after spending over SCO in medical
attendance. My trouble was a raw sore on
my ankle. " MRS. LOUISA MASOX , Court
Street , Lowell , Mass , o
Running Sores-1 After worrying four
months I gave my children Hood's Sarsaparilla -
parilla and it cured them of running sores.
Hood's Pills cured rue of dyspepsia and
constipation. " MRS. KATE E. THOMAS , 31
jovernor St. , Annapolis , Md.
Consumptive COUgh-"FiA-e yeirs
igo I had a consunipti\'e rouqh which re-
Jtio d me to a skeleton. Was advised to
Lakt Hood's Sarsaparilla which I did and
recovered normal health. I have been well
uver since. " MATILDA BRIDGIWATEE , Cor.
Pearl and Chestnut Sts. , Jeffr-rionville. Ind.
Hood's i'ills cure liver ills , the non-lrrttatinf : azu
tha only ratliartlc to take with Hood's Sarsnpsirllla.
FARR/3 /
S-ilitr's Seeds are Warranted to Profcc * .
1 Mat-Ion Lcther. East Troy , Pa. . njtonUhed th * world
iF-j ' br . erowlnsr . . 230 _ tu-beli . . life * win . O U ; _ J _ Br-id i . '
? Uhhlcolt , xt * . * * i n -T
; f Wst. . 1-3 bushel * Bwler , and H ,
S3 UWin. . , Mn = . , 1-y Krowln5 3iO tith-1 , iVlz > J&ra
4 jxr acre. If you CoaU write tb a. We whi to
? na
J3 2JO.OUO new coitoineri , teace wiI i , d on trial
110 DOLLARS WORTH FOR JOc
10 pV-i. of rare farm sndi. Soil Ba h. Rart for ev.n
. . $3,000 Cdra.-Big Four O t , , " B ardTe B.rJe"P'
V Bromat Inennu jlcldic . 7 tea hy ptr acr. ca'J
. , ete- " 40cWheat"
S d .
- - ; , * * M jjj au Bbcat our
.
ira beedi.etc. . all mailed
,
yoaepos
f bat lOc. . . receipt
! poitas * po.itirely worth W to V
g-t _ a lUiu A dk IUOUOO . . . bbli. sedif'.j&
J92JL 9Kjfep
test Bucc * * arulendlnB. > Get the t fcwto 1JU1O kUB
as. J. U.
Oresory & Son , MarbleheaU , Maw *
