v ri You Will Stand the Heat Much more easily and comfortably by putting and keeping your body in trim condition by taking Hoods Sarsaparilla It makes good blood promotes proper circulation and keeps every organic operation free from friction OOO S parilla Is Americas Greatest Medicine Hoods Pills hams Veg c table Com- pound is the most thorough fe male regula tor known to medical sci are he lentle mild cflTect All clniLiists IKc 0 Established 1780 Bakers Chocolate 5SawJafe3i celebrated for more than a century as a back NONB OTHER GENUINE tf tf 2 delicious nutritious ff and flesh forrahig 5 beverage has our vg well known Yellow Label 2 on the front of every package and our trade marltLaBelle Chocolatiereonthe MADE ONLY BY xit g WALTER BAKER CG Ltd j Dorchester Mass j Jcclincd Without ThanJss Beggar Please sor vul yez giv n few pennies for a starvin wife me child Skinner I should say not What do you suppose Id do with a starving wife and child Is Health Worth Ten Cents Man suffers many mysterious ai lmeuta from unknown causes and nine tenths of them have their origin in the digestive canal somewhere It does any person good to clean out this canal occasionally iua rational way provided it is not done in i violent manner The proper cleans ing and disinfecting preparation is Gas carets Candy Cathartic which are very gentle but at the same time thoroughly vfiVtiive A 10c box will purify the whole system and in most cases remove the ctrse of ill beaJth When feeling bad lake Cascarets They will do you good aud cau do you no harm It is often better to have a great deal of harm happen to one than a little a great deal may rouse you to remove iwhat a little will only accustom you to endure Greville Hv V a Son Brother Husband or lover in the army or navy Mail him to day a 25c package of Allens Foot Ease a powder Tor the feet All who inarch walk or stand need it It ures aching tired sore swollen sweat ing feet and makes hot tight or new shoes easy Feet cant blister get sore or callous where Allens Foot Ease is used 10000 testimonials All druggists and shoe stores sell it 12c Sample sect FREE Address Allen S Olmsted Le Roy X Y There through purpose position T T is no road to success tut a clear strong purpose A underlies character culture attainment of whatever sort Munger Halls Catnrrh Cure Is a constitutional cure Price 75 cents No restaurant in St Petersburg is now allowed to have its bill of fare es clusively in a foreign language By a recent edict a Rusian version must al ways be added I know that my life was saved by Pisos Cure for Consumption John A Miller i Sable Mich April 21 1S93 Why are a mans domestic relations usually less troublesome than the rela ton of bis domestic1 PERIODS OF PAIK Menstruation the balance wheel of womans life is also the bane of esist f ence to many because it means a time of great suffering While no woman is entirely free from periodical pain it docs not seem to have been na tures plan that women otherwise healthy should suffer so severely Lvdia E PinL Wre5 S tSjBl tsj sS2 7 V2zLS5C Jr v i - -5 - -7 I YJltf P ence It relieves the condition that pro duces so much discomfort and rohs men struation of its terrors Here is pra Dear Mrs Pixkiiaii IIow ea n 1 thank you enough for what jou have done for me When I wrote to yeu I was suffering untold pain at time o menstruation was nervous had head ache all the time no appetite that tfrl feeling and did not core for I have taken three bottles of Lyiiea E Pinkhams Vegetable Compound oae of Bloosl Purifier two boxes of Liver Pills and to day I am a well person I would like to have those who suiror lenowthati am one of the many who have been cured of female complaints by your wonderful medicine and adyico Miss Jennie R Mue s Leon Wis if you are suffering in this way write as Miss Miles did to Mrs Pinkhani at Ajynn Mass for the advice which she J offers free of charge to all women EUM0B 0J THE WEEK STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY OF THE PRESS MEN Odd Carious and Laughable Phases of Human Nature Graphically Por trayed by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day A Budget of Fitu Too Timid Ethel Ts Jack a very ardent lover Helen No not very He always seems to thiuk the hammock will break down if we both sit in it at the same time During the Rainy Spell Mrs Suburbs John who was It wrote that poem beginning O for a lodge in some vast wilderness Mr Suburbs I duxino Must have been some chump that never got out side of the city limits in his life How He IIc4ps Has Bunkumb who was so anxious for war awhile ago enlisted Xo but hes around boasting that he has spent 7 for flags and war but tons Having Tried the Pawnbroker IBP Does yo liml soakin shoes keep dem from squeakin Sho I does ef yo soaks em ki de right place Perhaps That Wns It Mamma Alice what happened last evening I thought I heard somet kkig drop in the parlor Alio 1 I think Mr Templeton fell in love with me Facinjc the Mob The crowd surged around him Strong racu tried to shove one another back There were hoarse mutterings of dis content Fjists were shaken and it seemed as if those who were endeavor ing to hold the more impetuous ones in check would be crushed But he never flinched They had not come to lj nch him He was only hang ing up a Avar bulletin Vindicated Prisoner said the court you have been arrested as a suspicious charac ter You appear to have no visible means of support Then his wife stepped forth and held up her hands after which there was nothing to do but discharge him A Long Walk Good Friend I have reason to sus pect that your husband is flirting with other women You ought to follow him wherever he goes Great heavens My husband is a letter carrier Boston Traveler Hard Service Did you tell me that you were wounded in securing that victory Yes replied the Spanish general Some of my assistants struck and I smashed by fingers trying to work a proof press Washington Star The Cheerful Idiot I hate these stories that catch in them said the have a sensitive boarder Yes said the cheerful idiot that what is the matter with fish stories Indianapolis Journal s The Employers View She When would you consider a man was happily married He When hes wedded to his work Yonkers Statesman Just as Plenty I bought a claim said the returned Klondiker where nuggets were said to be as plentiful as blackberries And they were not Well yes they were but you see there are no blackberries in that re gionsLiverpool rorcupiiie Subdued Whv do you talk so in your sleep Its the only chance I get So Nevertheless He is really the most provoking man I ever saw Why J thought he was so full of fun a Hd good humor Thats it He is always provoking a anile Pliihutelphia BulletiH JustXike a Man Our nation the orator rehearsed before the mirror went forth with breadiu one hand and the sword in the other Isnt that just like a man his wife interrupted him to ask a woman wowld have taken a breadknife In dianapolis Journal Safety in Distance I dont know how you ever meter ed up the courage to ask the old gen tleman for his daughter Oh I went to Chicago and made the request over the long distance phone Detroit Free Press Mr Peppers If I had a broken nose said the dude boarder who had been reading of a prize fight I could not be happy no matter how much I had won Oh I dont know said Asbury Pep pers You know the proverb says a broken face oft hides a smiling heart Cincinati Enquirer Jutly Suspicious Landlady The price of the room is 20 francs per week Will that suit you Student Perfectly Landlady Then you cant have it A man who meekly accepts such an ex orbitant price obviously does not in tend to pay his bill Paris Rire Encouraging How has Gen Blankspace been get ting along inquired one member f the Spanish cabinet I dont think he has been losing as many men as usual replied the oth er lie hasnt reported any victories for some time Washington Evening Star Absent Minded Toothache old man Pshaw When I have it I just go home to my wife she kisses me and its gone Is is your wife home now New York Evening Journal Reckoned Wrong Johnnj How old was Methuselah auntie Aunt Nine hundred years And how old are you auntie Thirty my child Then papa reckoned wrong by 870 years He said you were as old as Methuselah Manchester Times Must Ee a Mistake no Where ignorance is bliss you know tis folly to be wise She I know the poet says so but still you dout seem to be of a specially hap py disposition An Easy Recipe Mrs Crossthwaite How do you man age your husband He always seems to be at home nights and I am told that you have your own way about every thing I wish I could govern mj hus band tli at way Mrs Kittish Its the easiest thing in the world All youve got to do is keep him constantly afraid that you dont love him as much as you did before you were married instead of having him keep you in that state of mind Cutting Remarks I VA MfJOT ijyg 4ij A Childs Understanding Teacher Now that you have taken part in the Memorial Day exercises can you tell me wluit the especial signifi cance of this day is why we keep it as we do Tommy Jqnes We have Memorial Day so the boys can have their road races and the magnates can work in two ball games Just Vanity Hicks I saw the sign Look out for paint on Willerbys fence as I came along I suppose it is to keep people from getting their clothes soiled Wicks That might be the object of any other man but in Willerbys case I imagine it is just vanity He wants everybody to know that he is having his fence painted Boston Transcript Just So She But George suppose papa set tles my dowry on me in own rigkt He Well my dear girl its sr noth ing to me if he does New York Commercial-Advertiser A Very Sad Case Did you hear the latest asked a Denver man of his best girl No Something startling Not so very That girl who sat right in front of us at the theater the other night has committed suicide What was the cause She couldnt keep up her dues in the Dont Worry Club Denver Times A Doubting Thomas Sound said the pedagogue is something that a person can hear but can neither see nor feel Oh I dont know exclaimed the boy at the foot of the class I think I can prove that you are off in your theory Very well Thomas retorted ibe man of learning go ahead and prove it then Only yesterday you gave me a sound thrashing sard Thomas I sup pose the other pupils saw it aud dont you think for a minute that I didnt feel it An Endless Affair Smith Old Graspey invited me to take lunch with him yesterday Jones Did eh 1 suppose there was no end to the good things you had to eat Smith Right you are There was neither a beginning nor an end to tlvent Jones Why what did you have Smith rretzels Are There Any Others Solomon The stage of to day shows humanity m the worst posible light Leviticus Yes the calcium is pretty hard on the older ones Cincinnati En quirer DID HE DO RIGHT A Policeman Aids a Criminal Bocnnse the Latter Had Saved His Life What would you have done asked the big chief of police who was talking confidentially with some of his friends When I was a -patrolman in San Franclsao I had a beat in the Chiuese quarter The heathens didnt like me a bit better than I did them and any one who thinks that a Chinaman is not revengeful has a whole lot to learn One night after I had broken up a fantan game and incidentally broken an oriental head four highbinders made a sneak on me aud actually had the deadly cord about my neck Ev erything turned black in an instant but I heard the swish of a knife two or three quick shots and braced up to find as ugly a mug grinning at me as t had ever clapped eyes on Devilish close call pardy he said Them yeller nouns had you done But none of them kin kill a white man where I kin put in a stop per Im not in love with no police man but I hate these here chow chews and then I likes to do a good turn once in - while so theyll be a little on the right side of the book Keep yer eye peeled pardy and he was gone Four 3ears later I was a roundsman in St Louis We got a tip on a bank robbery that was planned and I took charge of the case We were located and when the three inside workers got to drilling on the safe we made a rush and shot over their heads Up went their hands and I yanked the man nearest me to the floor Hello pardj he whispered as we went down Scoot I replied as I tossetl him over my head through a window and helped subdue another of the prisoners What would you have done STONE IN HER STOMACH From the Gazette Mandinsville III The wife of the Rev A It Adams pas tor of the Bedford Christian Church at BLandinsville 111 was for years com pelled to live a life of torture from dis ease Her case baffled the physicians but to day she is alive and well and tells the story of her recovery as follows About six years aro said Mrs Adams I weighed about 140 pounds but my heal tli began to fail and I lost flesh My food did not agree with me and felt like a stone in my stomach I began to bloat all over until 1 thought I had dropsy I had pains and soreness in my left side which extended clear across my back and alsoHto the region of my heart Dur ing these spells a hard ridge would appear in the left side of my stomach and around die left side These attacks left me sore and ex hausted All last summer I was so nerv ous that the children laughing and plav ing nearly drove me wild I suffered also from female troubles and doctored with ten different physicians without receiving any help My hus band hav ing read in the news p a p e r o f Dr Will iams Pink Pills for Pale Peo ple induc e d me to try them I began tak ing t h e m last No vember but HI e x My Husband Bead ed no relief until I had taken six boxes 1 am now taking the eleventh box and have been greatly benefited I was also troubled with nervous pros tration and nwmbness of my right arm and hand so that at times I could hardly endure the pain but that has all passed away I now have a good appetite and am able to do my own work Have done more this summer than in the past four years put together Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People cured me and I think it my duty to let other sufferers know it Twins Etc in Germany The German Statistic he Korrespond enz has just been recording some ju bilee statistics It tells of the fertility of Prussian parents for the last sev enty years and indeed the mother of nations may rejoice to think that the business of babies is no better in En gland and alas not a respectable fraction so good in France The Ger man language makes provision for five children at a birth and downward to the modest number of one speaking of fueuflinge vierlinge drillinge and zwillinge and so to unity This record shows that in the last seventy years there have been three caseswhere pro lific mothers have presented their de spairing husbands with five at a birth Of the vierlinge class 10G deliveries are noted that is to say roughly one and a half such tragedies every year The drillinge have entered tne world three at a time and no less than 7733 different occasions and of the zwillinge G00ST1 pairs have been bom The to tal number of visits that the stork has paid to Prussian roofs in seventy years is registered as 5S3SS7S2 a respecta ble total Where the gods send mouths they also send food It is therefore in teresting to learn that Germany is re cording in the present year the millon ium jubilee of the native sausage The papers are writing its history with a pardonable pride They say it came from Italy and was an item in the feasrr of Lucullus Loudon Pall Mall Gazette To Hear from the Trops A St Paul man has conceived a plan whereby the people of St Taial and Minneapolis may get weekly intelli gence of the Thirteenth Minnesota Regiment during its stay in the Philip pines There are a great many rela tives of our soldier boys living in the twin cities and they want better com munication with the absent ones than is afforded by the ordinary methods The scheme is to form an association which shall subscribe to a common fund to defray the expense of a ten word cablegram from Manila every week A good deal can be said in a ten word message by using the cipher code and as the cost is only about 2 the expense to any individual subscrib er would be verv light Quiet and Rcpcc nt Last DIngley was contemplating the pur chase of a country place aud had driven his wife out to look at it now do you like it he asked Oh Im delighted its beauty fairly renders me speechless she replied That settles it rejoined Dingley Ill buy It this afternoon and well move out to morrow A Philippine Hero One of the Philippine insurgent leaders is a beautiful woman whose life soenis to be charmed Frequently we see people in tliis country whose lives seem charmed also but the only charm about it is that they keei P their strength and vitalize their blood with that celebrated remedy Hostetters Stomach Bitters He Never Got Over It Janes was always under the impres sion that he was a born humorist and his friends never succeeded in convinc ing him to the contrary But he has given up trying to be funny now he says his humor was the means of his losing a girl with a lot of money and he has never got over the blow He explains it in this way He was courting a brokers daugh ter One day he called upon her and she happened to be at home he consid ered himself fortunate as she had been out every time he had called for a week and he determined to make the best of his opportunity and pop the question He found Her in a room bus ily engaged with small bundles of dried grasses which she had collected What a quantity of dried grass you have collected Miss Ritchie he said Then his humor burst forth Nice room for a donkey to get into Make yourself at home Mr Janes she said sweetly before he could finish the joke He went home and all the humor was crushed out of him forever FITS Iernjanenlly Cored No fits or ncrrousnps afffcr first dyi uo or Ur Kllneft Great Nerve Re storer Send for FJ tEE S200 trial bottle ani treatise Dn It U Kline Ltd 031 Arch St Philadelphia Pa Whoever pays you more court than he is accustomed to pajT either intends to deceive you or finds you necessary to him Courtenav Mrs WIiirIowh Soothino Strop Tor Children teething soltens tho kuius reancew Inflammation allays pain cures wind colic cents a bottKj There is but one method of obtain ing excellence and that is by hard 61 8J rarninoMUnrnntfnMr sir- jxVEmttmerJtflSSSaMit 1 CHTPCUND Or THIS STARCH WILL GO AS FAR AS A POUND AND A HAUT OF AMY OIHSR STABCB ra 1JIUIN r yCHUBWSERBROSC KEQXUwcyw rwnAvayxfflj GAM o cvep see o snow storm in Summer 7c never did but we have seen the clothing at this time of the year so covered with dandruff that it looked as if it had been out in a regular snow storm No jieed of this snowstorm As the summer sun would melt the falling snow so will melt these flakes of dandruff in the scalp It goes further than this it prevents their formation- It has still other properties it will restore color to gray hair in just ten tiaie3 out of every ten cases And it does even more it feeds and nourishes the roots of the hair Thin hair becomes thick hair and short hair be comes long hair We have a book on the Hair and Scalp It is yours for the asking If you do not obtain all tho benefits you expected from the use at the Vigor vrrito tho doctor bout it Probably there Is some difficulty with yonr Gen eral system which may bo easily re moved Address DR J C AVER Lowell Mass WffW A Beautiful Present FREE for a few months to all users of the celebrated ELASTIC STARCH Flat Iron Brand To induce you to try this brand of starchso that you may find out for yourself that all claims for its superiority and econ omy are true the makers have had prepared at great expense a series of four PLAQUES exact reproductions of the iooco originals by Muville which will be given you ABSOLUTELY FREE by your grocer on conditions named below These Plaques are 40 inches in circumference are free of any suggestion of advertising whatever and will ornament the most elegant apartment No manufacturing concern ever before gave away such valuable presents to its customers They are not for sale at any price and can be obtained only in the manner specified The subjects are American Wild Ducks American Pheasant English Quail English Snipe The birds are handsomely embossed and stand out natural as life Each Plaque is bordered with a band of gold ELASTIC STARCH has been the standard for 25 years TWENTY TWO MILLION packages of this brand were sold last year Thats how good it is ASK YOUR DEALER to show you the plaques and tell you about Elastic Starch Accept no substitute Slow To Get Tk All purchasers of three 10 cent or six 5 cent packages of Elastic Starch Flat Iron Brand aro entitled to re ceive from their grocer one of theso beautiful Game Plaques free The plaques will not be sent by mail They can be obtained only from yonr grocer Every Grocer Keeps Elastic Starch Do not delay This offer is for a thort time only YOU WILL REALIZE THAT THEY LIVE WELL WHO LIVE CLEAN LY F YOU USE VtJ S M ffM ftfamiftm After I -was Irvlcced to try CASCA RETS I will never be without thera in the house Sly liver was In a very bad shape and my head ached and 1 had stomach trouble Now since tak ing Cascarets I feel Use ily tvlfe has also used them with beneficial reialts Tor sour stomach Jos Kuzulixg 1U21 Congress St St Locla Mo WkP CANDY 01 iJy CATHARTC j Sfcifc TRADE KARK REGSSIflED ggf Pleasant Palatable Potent I iste Good Do Gcod Never Sicken Weaken or Gripe 10c 25ciJc CURE CONSTIPATION 3leritng Rrofdf Chieayo Montreal Sew Tort 313 KlTfiPflP Sold and enarantced by all drng nw I U5MU gists to C1J23E Tobacco Habit WHEN TVRIT1NG TO ADVERTISERS please say you saw the aiivertiaemeut In this paper UNIVERSITY of NOTRE DAME NOTRE DAME INDIANA Classics Letter science Law Civil Me chanical and Electrical tnireeri Thorough lrcptratory and Commercial Cour es Kcc eiastlcai student at special rates Rooms fres Junior or pziI t iear Coilrzlate Course3 St fcI wards Hull lor boys undf r 13 Tli 108th Term will opn eptt jubr Uth 1898 Catalogue sent Vree a application to REV A 3IORKISSKY V s C President iENSIONS PATENTS CLAJM3 NJOftN W MORRIS WASHlflGTOD a I t Principal Eraniner U 3 Peutlon Suit i yrx in iuc wr 15 adjaiiiciiaz ehum Mir i f in 1 to adjB I Guranteed Y Nb not to ittieture I PrcTfnu csstuioa 15 r ciN p c x y j c v S C X U Best fRs CURE YOURSELF I Utz G tor unnatural dchar 3 iinamniations irrilatijua or ulcerations CJUC0U xafrabrant 3 t i - iiu jioi 3cliKCYUiStitEKCJlU3 geat or poisonous ClNlUTIOi 1 Sold far Or IT i7fxvi Prepaid for 31 ro or 3 bottIe M273 nV uircuur sent on reomxt 0 98 ZrfZXUtt M5W e At5 W tWJ ir WHtHF All FISF Fail S f Cough Synip Tastes Good Vsc SI mmmmm n - - n r I - r ma