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A MARRYING MAN
llio first girl I married was plain Bessie
Brown
A sunny and silly sweet tltijipr
Who simpered and sighed ut being si
bride
And wearing a wedding ring
The next was a widow a Mrs Mnlonc
With seven small boys in her brood
I married this widow for money alone
I needed the money for food
Uhe next one I wedded was Alice Adair
A beauty of fortune and worth
She lived but a year too gentle too
dear
Altogether too fragile for earth
I married a German then Gretehen von
Schmidt
Two hundred and forty she weighed
Oh she was a cook Not much on the
look
But a wife who was stolid and staid
t married another A ncgress was she
Uer mother a broken down slave
She was tidy and neat some distance
from sweet
But she was a wife who could save
then married Mollic a sister of mine
As a wife she was queen of them all
She had lots of children and troubles and
joys
And her home was a paradise hall
t married my mother a widow and then
I wedded my brother a man
I married Smiths daughters then six 1
believe
And Ill marry six more if 1 can
A bigamist Well what do you think
I married these people for gold
For I am a minister humble and mock
And they are all lambs of my fold
Joe Kerr in X Y Journal
HIS BROTH
ERS KEEPER
When a man who is yet young ar
rives at the conclusion that life holds
nothing more for him and that be can
only devote himself to the good of
others there is still plenty of keen
wretchedness in store for him If he
gets up after a bad Mow and is active
ly miserable and somewhat hateful and
resentful he can yet be happy But
self immolation is not natural and
anything unnatural brings its own pun
ishment Another person and other
people can not be the center ot the uni
verse for very long There may come
a jar that will put you out of plumb for
a bit but you swing back V our nor
mal position
The jar that came to Osborne wa a
bard one The girl to who mho was
engaged told him that her parents were
forcing her to marry a certain rich
man Xoav parents in these days do
not force one to marry anybody but
Osborne would have believed whatever
the girl had chosen to tell him lie be
lieved this and thought she was a
beautiful suffering martyr and there
was a tragicsceue which she did clev
erly and a parting After that Osborne
lost even ambition which had been a
ruling passion almost above bis love
The girl was mean enough too to keep
his misery alive by writing to him
now and then bewailing her gilded
captivity
Life he told himself was henceforth
a vain thing only fit to be used in the
service of others It is not easy to
serve others picturesquely in the army
There are no needy and no fallen ones
because when they fail they cease to
be iu the army So Osborne bethought
him of his brother Alexander
Alexander lived on a ranch as Os
borne had done He was 17 years old
At 1G Osborne had been the support of
a widowed mother and two children
Ho bad had no boyhood in particular
Tt had all been work making the ranch
pay Only those who have tried it
know what that means Alexander
was not afflicted after this fashion He
lived on his new stepfather and was
envious of his brother
Now when Osborne brought Alexan
der on to San Antonio the first evening
of his arrival he spoke to him thus
Theres a first class school right in
the town Alex Silence I want you
to study hard youngster to make up
for the time youve lost up there in the
wilderness
Alex braced his feet against the
porch railing and tipped back his chair
It strikes me Ive lost more fun than
about anything else It aint fair Her
bert Youve been having a picnic for
the Last eight years while Ive been
slaving in the fields and I dont see it
In the light of settling down right
away to digging at books I want a
swing
If a nature is ambitious it can not be
altered The ambition may transfer
its object from self to some one else
but it will not die Osbornes had trans
ferred itself to his brother So his heart
sank But he had learned toleration
Well Ill give you three months But
you must study to make up for it
Three months nothing Whats the
matter with six
A good deal is the matter Youll
be nearly 18 in six months and you
dont know as much as the average
boy of fourteen Of course Im not
blaming you for that You havent had
a fair chance Osborne forgot that
at IS he himself had passed the com
petitive examination
I guess I havent at that or any
thing else
Young Osborne had gone barefoot all
his life and had never bad a whole
new suit of clothes to his back nor a
dime to call his own Osborne gave
him dancing pumps and various seem
ly suits and a reasonable allowance
But he thought the allowance small
Say Herbert I cant make out with
that measiy ten Make it fifteen will
you he complained
No sa Osborne
Osbornes nos were always defin
ite but Alexander persisted Why
Hot Youve a lot more than you need
I know best about that Ten dollars
iy enough and its all I can give you
Ive your education to pay for recol
lect Youve no expenses outside of an
occasional theater ticket and tennis
ball or you shouldnt have
You always did catch all the plums
said Alexander
Then t lie mail orderly gave Osborne
a letter from the girl Osborne locked
himself in his work room and read it
and believed every word of it And
living even for others seemed a bard
thing for the next few days
Alexander felt his oats promptly lie
excelled at base ball be learned tennis
and dancing by magic and lie rode
well Osborne had never been so popu
lar He bad served the Mammon of
Ambition exclusively until be had
transferred bis allegiance to the God of
Love Since iben be bad been a mar
tyrand martyrs are more pleasing in
stained glass than iu life And now
he returned to the first cult and Ambi
tion filled him lie rejoiced in his
brothers beauty which was of the
Bertie Cecil type in his magnificent
stature in his agility and his athletics
He mounted him on the finest horsu to
be bad in that part of the country
and wore a shabby uniform himself all
winter He read with him for two
hours daily and was well pleased
when the boy remembered just enough
to give his conversation a peculiarly
brilliant turn He argued great things
from this when Alexander should go to
school But when lie went to school
Osborne saw the truth
Alex the account of you is very
bad Youve barely scratched through
on two tilings and youve failed on
mathematics altogether Ive told you
that mathematics is t lie test at the
Point Osborne admonished
0h come I say let up Herbert
Im trying to learn this piece He
picked on with beautiful absorption at
the guitar the lieutenant had given
him
Put up that thing and listen to me
Alexander obeyed as all men did
when Osborne willed
I am going to get you into West
Point at 20 When 1 say I am going to
do it you know how it is going to bo
done Dont you None of it depends
on you except the study I cant make
you drink but Ill take you to water
and keep you there until you find it
will be easier to drink You can go
back to the ranch if you like but Im
not afraid youll like I dont want to
treat you as a small boy unless you act
the part of one You can learn and
you must learn or the theaters will
stop and the hops will stop and the
guitar will stop also the tennis You
have been cutting time but henceforth
you will study four hours a day and I
will sit with you to help you and see
that it is done
So four hours out of every twenty
four Osborne put to the use of teach
ing one who did not wisii to learn Den
sity can be bored through with pa
teinece It is the india rubber of indif
ferent cleverness that resists After
some of the struggles Osborne would
lie awake for the rest of the night from
sheer nervousness The boy slept with
unruffled brain The lieutenant almost
came to forget the girl But never
quite A letter would come when Alex
ander was most inert and Osborne
would stare straight in front of him
and grit his teeth and wonder that a
man could live with both sides of his
nature thwarted and rit back
But he had his reward Alexander
went into the Academy at 20 He was
the haudsomest and most popular ca
det in his class and he failed iu the
first year
Just how such things are done no one
is ever quite sure but in Osbornes
case it must have been sheer force of
determination Alexander was reap
pointed and be himself was made in
structor at the Point
He stood over the cadet with the
stinging lash of his ambition and
Alexander was graduated fifteen Os
borne unwisely took some credit to
bmlself
Nonsense said Alexander Id have
done it alone The first miss was only
bad luck dont think its your circus
It doesnt make any great difference
to me whose circus it is so that you
come out all right Jm only glad youre
getting some ambition
Ambition be hanged Its the one
word in your lexicon Im sick of the
sound of it It is the sin by which the
angels fell Look out you dont fall
angel brother
Im not likely to fall but I shouldnt
mind it if it put you on a mountain
height
No heights for me I cant breathe
rare air answered the younger
Now in the course of army events it
came to pass that a strange fate made
Alexander Osborne second lieutenant
In the troop of which his brother was
first lieutenant And the first lieutenant
continued his ambitious goading Alex
ander was independent at present and
resisted to some purpose He would
not spend his nights in study and his
days in wire pulling The War De
partment did not reward that sort of
thing he said it was action it approv
ed Wait until his time for action came
thaa he would satisfy his brother
And the time for action did come
But the action was disappointing They
marched two hundred miles and then
marched back again Alexander com
plained loudly that he had had no oc
casion to display his prowess in battle
He should have been quite safe in
this for that evening they would be
once more in Grant But the Indian
host is not to be reckoned with At
sunset witliin ten miles of the post
the Apaches caught the battalion in a
ravine and kept it there until well into
the night
The moon came up and showed to
the bucks hiding behind the cedars and
scrub oaks on the rise the soldiers
penned in the gully below them It was
merely for the latter a question of
holding out and having a few men j
killer The danger was not great un
I
less the Apaches should be re enforced
or the couriers should not reach the
fort So the men took shelter behind
bushes and rocks and fired at the
flashes of light in the darkness above
them The officers walked about in the
deep shadows tiring too and giving
orders r
First Lieutenant Osborne was with
bis sergeant and another lieutenant
when he came upon Second Lieuteuant
Osborne crouched down between two
rocks his arms clasped over his bent
bead and his carbine dropped on the
ground beside him
There was no mistake to lie made
The other lieutenant hesitated the ser
geant drew back But Osborne Avent
up and touched his brother with his
foot
Lieutenant Osborne he said to the
junior go and report to the officer in
command Captain Clarke I shall have
preceded you and have reported you
for cowardice
He went in search of the Captain
and made his report and Second Lieu
tenant Osborne was sent under arrest
back to the dismounted horses in the
rear Then the first lieutenant threw
open his blouse and covered his breast
with a wide white silk handkerchief
that gleamed even in the shadow and
walked out into the full moonlight
It was matter of only a moment be
fore the bidden Apaches saw him with
the white target on his bosom And
two of them at least took aim at the
target and hit it full in the center
and First Lieutenant Osborne pitched
forward on the stones Gwendolen
Overton in San Francisco Argonaut
Exterminating the Mosquito
The most famous resident of New
Jersey is the mosquito but that he is
without honor in his own country is
proved by the fact that the State is
about to take official steps to extermi
nate him The State geologist by the
authority of the legislature has consid
ered the situation and consulted with
an engineer As a result be recom
mends that the Ilackensack and New
ark meadows which are the great
breeding places of the mosquito be re
claimed from the salt water which
now covers them at each high tide
This can be done by means of dikes
and tide sluices at an estimated cost
of a million and a half dollars which is
little enough to pay for permanent re
lief from the little pests as the perse
cuted Jersey men Avill agree
But it is not only from the humani
tarian point of view that this proposi
tion is interesting It seems to indicate
another direction in which the sphere
of government is likely to be extended
Not very long ago the expenditure of
such a sum to get rid of a swarm of
mosquitoes would have been consid
ered ridiculous in the extreme and
wholly beyond the proper field of the
State government
But the State and the city have for
several years steadily assumed greater
and greater responsibilities They have
encroached on private enterprise wher
ever it seemed to be for the convenience
or the benefit of the people that they
should do so We have become used to
thinking of the post office as a legiti
mate branch of the national govern
ment but it Avas once privately man
aged And Ave are fast becoming accus
tomed to the idea of municipal control
of the water supply the lighting of the
city and its lines of transportation
From legislating for the convenience
of the people it is only a step to legis
lating for their comfort This step the
Ncav Jersey Legislature seems to have
taken It Avill be interesting to see
Iioav much farther in this direction na
tional State or city governments Avill
push their jurisdiction Youths Com
panion
Knew His Wants
The cross examiner bad bad the wit
ness on the stand for some time and
the latter was naturally getting a lit
tle weary
If you would only ansAver my ques
tions prorerly said the cross-examiner
who AAas called 1 y courtesy a
lawyer Ave would have no trouble
The witness who Avas a gocd Avit
ness simply looked askance and let it
go at that
If I could only get you to under
stand continued the lawyer that all
I want to kuoAV is what you icuoav
Ave
It AA ould take you a lifetime to ac
quire that interrupted the witness
The laA yer recovered shortly after
being accustomed to knockout IjIoavs
and tried to explain himself
What I mean is that I merely want
to learn what you Icuoav about this af
fair he said I dont care anything
about your abstract knoAAiedge of law
or your information in regard to theos
ophy but Avhat you Icuoav about this
case
Oh that isnt AAiiat you Avant re
turned the witness in an off hand AAay
Ive been trying to giAe you that for
some time and
Of course the lawyer got in his dead
ly work in the line of objections at this
point and the witness had to stop
If I dont want to know Avhat you
know about this particular case and
nothing else inquired the lawyer la
ter what do you think I do want to
know
That seemed so easy to the witness
that he almost laughed and he showed
a willingness to speak that made the
lawyer prepare to object before a word
AAas said
It isnt what I know that you want
knoAv its what you think I knoAV
hat youre after and youre trying to
make me know it or prove me a liar
Then it was that every one in the
courtroom knew that he had been on
the witness stand before Chicago
Post
Curious Fact
During the war Gi the Spanish su
cession the English army in Spain was
commanded by a Frenchman and tiie
French army by an Englishman
usssacsa
Corn Fodder BarroAV
The National Stockman describes
how to make a barrow for hauling corn
fodder
The two side pieces A are G feet long
and 1 inches by 3 inches The up
rights B are 2 feet long and 2 inches by
Vj inches The crosspieces G are 2
feet long and 2 feet apart and 3 inches
wide by iy inches The straps D are
pieces of old carriage tire bent as
shown The legs are fastened on with
a single bolt and the uprights by a log
screw The braces for the uprights are
notched in and nailed When it is de
sired to use the barrow for grass put
in a floor of half inch white pine also
nail half inch boards from B 1 to B 2
and fit in sideboards from B 2 to B 2
IJAKKOAV FOR COKX FODDER
and from B 1 to B 1 White pine or
cypress will be strong enough for the
dimensions given If heavier Avood is
used use smaller size
The Care of Milk
The folloAving is a compilation of di
rections given by some of the Western
cheese factories in connection Avith the
care of milk
Place cans in cold Arater immediately
after milking
Place the milk in cool water soon af
ter milking is done
Place cans in cold water at once Cool
quickly
Practice cleanliness with a big C
Milk pails strainers and coolers
should be A ashed and scalded at each
milking
Rinse cans in warm water scald with
hot water and air as much as possible
Have cans washed and scalded
and well aired
Stir the milk at least two or three
times while cooling
When the milk is cooling cover the
cans with cheese cloth
Do not put covers on the cans over
night but use a thin cloth
Always leave covers off the milk un
til the animal heat has disappeared
Never mix mornings milk with
nights milk until both are thoroughly
cold
If warm milk is added to cold it pro
duces a taint at once
Posts as Foundations
Cedar posts are often used to support
buildings and doubtless Avould be more
frequently used if the frost did not
WS2s
JIS
elf
Wfe Vfc
S rrZV
isrp5l vifi
-
work upon build
ings thus support
ed lifting them out
of position and
racking them It
does this when
the posts extend
beloAV the frost
line since the
ground freezes to the sides of the posts
and thus raises them Put a square
box about the posts as shown in the
cut The frost Avill then lift the box
but cannot disturb the posts Orange
Tudd Farmer
Ripening Tomatoes Under Cover
It is the habit of many tomato grow
ers as the danger of frost becomes im
minent to pull up a number of tomato
vines with a little earth attached and
throw them with their unripe fruit into
some building where the unripe toma
toes will gradually turn and the small
er ones will increase in size and finally
ripen also In this way It is possible
to have tomatoes fresh from the vine
until near the Christmas holidays To
matoes fully groAAn will color if picked
and laid on the shelf But they are
not nearly as good as fruit that is
ripened on the vine which apparently
continues to perfect the fruit even after
its roots have been pulled from the
ground
Chickens in Hot Weather
The sudden dying of young chicks in
hot weather is almost always caused
by lice Look around the head and
neck and a few big fellows may be
seen Avhich torment the chicken so
that it cannot be thrifty Rub some
grease of any kind about the head and
neck and under the wings This is
sure death to the pests and does the
chicks no harm It is well to use it as
a preventive for if lice get on the
chicks in hot weather many chicks
will die before the remedy can be ap
plied
Threshing Damp Grain
It is never good economy to thresh
grain while the straw is damp Se
long as grain is in its chaff that
protects it from heating either In
mow or stack So long as threshing was
done by hand there was no temptation
to thresh it until frost had dried it out
Now that steam power for threshing
has replaced the horse power It does
0tt seem so much waste to thresh
damp grain Yet many straw stacks
will be green with grain wasted be
cause even the steam threshing ma
chine cannot get it out Besides after
threshing the damp grain is much
more liable to injury by heatiug than
it AAas before
Chestnut Trees Profitable
Those AAho have a chestnut gnne and
keep it free from depredators may find
it a source of profit We know one or
two such groves which yield returns
with no labor except for
gath
ering the nuts better than could
be got for usual farm crops But
to secure profitable returns the
public must be excluded Men and
boys who club the trees while the nuts
are green to bring them doAVn will dis
figure and injure the trees so that after
a feAv years the trees will yield little
or nothing Chestnut trees if the fruit
is of good quality are valuable proper
ty and their fruit should be protected
There are several improved varieties
of chestnut some of which Avill begin
bearing when three years old These
should be chosen if neAV plantations of
chestnuts are to be made or scions of
the neAV Aarieties should be grafted in
to natiAe stock American Cultivator
Value of Grain Chaff
When threshing grain f ramers should
appreciate the necessity of separating
the grain chaff from the straw for win
ter feeding If the straw is to be sold
for bedding or used for bedding at
home it will go farther if free from
chaff The latter is much the best part
of the straAV to feed When nature
makes the grain all the valuable nutri
tion is concentrated in or near the head
Some of this remains in the chaff
There are besides some light grains that
are usually blown out Avith the chaff
in cleaning
Rain vs Irrigation
It is sometimes said that the farmer
Avho depends Avholly on irrigation is
really better off than those who farm
where rainfall is usually sufficient
The man Avho irrigates has the control
of moisture supply in his own hands
But this does not A holIy apply to fruit
groAVing In arid climates air as Avell
as soil must be kept moist to develop
the best fruit For many years Cali
fornia fruit AA as dry and poor in qual
ity though fine looking Noav Califor
nia air in the dry season is less arid
than it used to be and its fruit is bet
ter
Burning Weeds
It is far better to rot the Aveeds Dy
burying them under the soil Ayhile green
than to rely on burning them after they
have ripened their seeds It is com
monly supposed that Avhen a Aveed is
burned its seed also perishes Onlv if
piled on brush which Avill make coals
of fire at the bottom of the heap is
this the case The weed seed drops as
the pod Avhich encloses it shrivels AAith
heat and as carbonic acid gas settles
to the bottom of the heap the noxious
seed is preserved from burning
Grasses
The best kind of grasses to soaa upon
a marsh subject to overfloAV according
to some of the best authorities are four
pounds red top two of foAvl meadow
grass four of timothy and one or tAAo
of alsike clover per acre In many
cases low lands can be easily drained
or partially freed of AA ater by the dig
ging of one or two ditches If this can
be done it surely should be practiced
for Ioav lands are the richest and best
for grasses
Corn on Outside Roaa s
In cutting corn Ave always used to
notice that the outside rows where the
horse turned in cultivation had general
ly larger and better filled ears than did
the corn farther in the field This in
dicates that corn is usually planted too
closely and does not get sunlight
enough The outside row is not gener
ally richer than the soil fartner in the
field and certainly the trampling of the
ground by the horses feet is no ad
vantage to the crop
Farms Under Glass
It is prophesied that the farmer of the
future will grow his crops under glass
Hot house fruits and vegetables may
then be raised for the poor aad needy
on a very cheap scale ast sections
of land may be roofed over ith glass
and a perpetual summer climate Avill
make the plants and trees and vines
flourish as in the tropics
Boiled Oil
A gallon of boiled oil well soaked
in will furnish a protecting cover for
all the farm wagons plow handles
horse rakes etc on the farm keeping
the weather from them and thus sav
ing the cost a dozen times It should
be put on hot
Quince Hedges
In the English colonies of Africa
hedges are commonly made of quince
trees The branches being planted
and interwoven by hand form an im
penetrable barrier to cattle and they
annually bear an immense crop of large
fruit
Objections to Iate Haying
The late cut hay even if secured
without rain has lost much of its nutri
tive value It has also impaired the
vigor of the root so that next years
hay crop will be lighter than if the
grass this year had been cut early
3Iaking Them Familiar
Heifers that are to be in milk by and
by ought to be kept with the milking
herd that they may get accustomed tc
the sounds and excitement of domesti
cation Their product will vary less
by and by at the pail
In Cold Weather
A swinging door for the entrance for
swine in winter they soon learn to oper
ate and it keeps out snow and much
cold It is hung from the top and rubs
on both sides as it swings in and out
According to a recent government re
port there are in the United States
122000 male teachers and 260000 fe
male teachers
Tf
tfiJ
Tt
Renovating Fabrics
Prints if rinsed in salt Avater look
brighter
Silk handkerchiefs and ribbon
should be Avashed in salt and AAater and
ironed Avet to look well
Yellow spots on the linen or cottor
produced bj the iron may be removed
by setting them in the broiling sun
Velvets should be held over the steam
of boiling AA ater and kept Avell stretch
ed until the moisture has evaporated
When ammonia is used to remove
stains on colored fabrics if the color
is dulled a little AAeak oxalic acid will
restore it
Wash black stockings in weak suds
to Avhich is added a tablespoonful of ox
gall Rinse until no color runs Iron
on the wrong side
An excellent starch for dark clothes
blue calicoes etc is made by using
cold coffee left from breakfast instead
Df pure Avater Make the starch as
usual
Colored muslins should be A ashed in
a lather of cold water If the muslin
be green add a little vinegar to the wa
ter if lilac a little ammonia if black
a little salt i
A heaped up teaspoonful of chloride
of lime mixed Avith one quart of water
Avill remove mildew Rinse the cloth
in clear water as soon as all the spot3
have disappeared
Black serge or cashmere dresses are
improved and cleansed by being
sponged AAith this mixture A table
spoonful of ammonia and another of
spirits of Aviue to three of boiling wa
ter
For Making Jelly
Rural New Yorker not long ago illus
trated an aid to the housewife Avhen
making jelly It is both bard and un
comfortable Avork to extract the juice
from a jelly bag filled Avith hot cook-
HOME MADE JEILY SQUEEZEK
cd rruit by- nand poAver Ttie
aiiue w niuu is nuuiu iuaue extracts
the juice from the jelly bag without A
touching it with the hands HangUjj l
the bag and insert it between the curv
ed faces of the blocks and the handles
Avill apply sufficient strength As the
bag groAAs thinner turn up the nut to
bring the handles nearer together
Culinary Ideas
When the Avhite and not the yolk of
an egs is required for use it is a puzzle
how to preserve the yolk indefinitely
It is very simple Make a small hole
In the shell let the AAiiite run out and
stand the ess in an SS cup which
should be set in a cool place The yolk
will keep its color and its freshness for
some days
In buying fish be sure that the eye3
are clear and rather sunken flesh firm
gills red and moist the skin tight and
the scales if any shiny If you do
this your fish course at dinner cannot
fail to be a success unless your cook
Is at fault
The method for making labels sticks
on tin cans on covers is simple First
the part of the tin which is to be la
beled must be scrubbed with strong
soda water Then make a paste Avith
good starch and AAater in which some
carpenters glue should be dissolved
Labels applied in this manner will not
come off
Here is a patent process for restoring
to cracked earthenware its water tight
properties Make a paste Avith finely
sifted wood ash and emery poAvder
moistening it Avith the Avhite of egs
rub this over the crack on the outside
and let it dry in the open air
Lemons can be kept from becoming
moldy if they are strung singly on a
coarse thread and hung up on differ
ent nails with a feAv inches of space
intervening
Stuffed Potatoes
Bake six nice smooth medium sized
potatoes in a moderate oven about one
hour Cut in two lengthwise carefully
remove the inside keeping the sheila
in good shape Now mash the potato
adding butter the size of an egg about
half a cup of hot milk a level teaspoon
ful of salt and some white pepper Beat
until light add carefully the well-beaten
whites of two eggs Return to the
shells heaping slightly touch lightly
here and there with the yolk of an
egg using a brush for the purpose
and place it in a rather quick oven for
about fifteen minutes or until a nice
delicate brown Serve immediately
Tapioca Souffle
Put one half cupful of pearl tapioca
over the fire with one pint of milk cook
until the tapioca is clear add one cup
ful of sugar and the yolks of four eggs
well beaten stir one minute then re
move from the fire and when almost
cold flavor with a teaspoonful of vanil
la add the well whisked whites of
eggs pour half the mixture into a
souffle pan scatter one ounce of can
died cherries over it when add the
other half and iake for twenty mh
Jute Serve at once
H
Mm
ft
y
1
1
