The Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Cherry Co., Neb.) 1896-1898, July 15, 1897, Image 7
b a 1 Ei v r tS X M Found RcnsoiiH for Approval There nro several cogent reasons why the nuilicil profession recommend and tin pub ic prefer Hostetter Stoiiiiicli ritters above tlie ordinary cathartlrs It docs not drench and weaken the bowels but usj Ms rather Ihan foiees nature to act it is botanic and safe its action Is never preceded Iy an In crnal earthquake like that produced by i drastic pin native For forty live years past It has been a household remedy for liver btoiuach and kidney i rouble Not Inliiely P iinlcss Dentist Did you give tlutt man Iiughii ins Assist ji ill Yes Dentist How Ions did the effect last Assistant TnUl he looked at the bill Town Topics Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally Price 75 cents Swifts letters to Stella and Vanessa the two correspondences being carried on at the same time are equally good equally loving and at present equally unreadable WOMEN DONT WAIT Ef You Have Any of These Symp toms Act at Once Do you know the reason why j ou will go to the hospital my poor friend Because you have allowed yourself fco go from bad to worse You did not Icnow that that heat swelling and ten derness in your left side were all signs of congestion of the ovary Any intelligent woman could have 4oH you that congestion is fatal to the uiterinc -iv jzj77 system and that an ovary uongest 5d leads to tumor forma tion and were - rn AWfiSSftvSv you S in awful vSsSs Jh JVV Will danger Now C Y fe WXsS If VSSlHI I you will have to undergo the operation of ovariotomy the cutting out of the ovary Yes you will recover at least I hope you will but you will never be quite the same woman again Congestion of the ovaries is fatal to health If you have any such s3rmptoms be advised in time take a medicine of specific powers You can find none better than Lydia E Pinkhams Vegetable Compound prepared especially to meet the needs of womans sexual system You can get it at any good druggists Following we publish a letter from a woman in Milwaukee which relates how she was cured of ovarian trouble 44 Dear Mrs Pinkham I suffered with congestion of the ovaries and inflamma tion of the womb I had been troubled with suppressed and painful menstrua tion from a girl The doctors told me the ovaries would have to be removed I took treatment two 3 ears to escape an operation but still remained in erable health inboth body and mind Meeting to part with my reason each coming month After using one bottle of Lydia E Pinkhams Vegetable Com pound and a package of Sanative Wash I was very much relieved I continued to use your remedies until cured The last nine months have been passed in perfect good health This I know I owe Entirely to the Vegetable Compound Sly gratitude is great indeed to the one to whom so many women owe their health and happiness Mrs F M Kxapp 5G3 Wentworth Ave Milwau kee3 Wis i W at the Susi llmmi F S3 amsi rBJI Ita rnn Ef - WSUl i ri 6 Z3 t - o V3 ME1 PftlGES Cfclia Bievdes Tie Mari of tie World 1897 COLUMBIAS Best Bicyclos made REDUCED TO 1896 C0LUAI3IAS reduced to I Second only to 1397 models JS97 HARTFORDS REDUCED to Equal to most Bicycles HARTFCIOS Pattern 2 HARTFORDS REDUCED TO REDUCED TO Pattern 1 KARTFORDS reduced to Patterns 5 cad 6 75 iAS fcS t Vi iSjsjN VJG fis vS SS At i LIT US ALL LAUGH JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VARIOUS HUMORISTS Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Ovci SayinptH that Are Cheer ful to Old or Yoiiiik Funny Selections that You Will Enjoy And There They PticV They always talk about the seven at os of man said the Curious One Why not the seven ages of woman Because my boy replied the Know Ins One one is enough for them Ch rinnati Commercial Tribune So Tricks Some folks said Uncle Ebeii is so tricky dat when dey comes acrost er man dats shu nuff honest dey gets skyaiht an says he mus be playin a powful deep game Washington Star BoltillK It Mother Tohnmy how often have I told you that you must not bolt youi food Johnny Guess it isnt any worse to bolt my food than it is for you to turn the key on it when its in the cupboard Boston Transcript Infectious Uttle Boroham relating his Alpine adventures There I stood the abyss yawning at my feet Cropper yawning portenliously Sense me B but the tilings infectious Household Words One of tl c l ur Kiirns What made you think Lillian was literary V Why she wears her hair so mus py Cleveland Plaindoaler A New Auto Motor 5 s V stZz l aw IS w Sl5SS1 TL t T ft Talk about your roller skates New York Journal A Pretty Compliment Miss Baquebay I had such a pretty compliment from my optician to day Miss Fenway What was it dear Miss Baquebay Tie told me that I had the best nose for eyeglasses that ever came under his professional treat ment Boston Transcript Important Discovery Bliffers reading Science now recog nizes a condition allied intoxication by radiation Many cases of drunken ness are cited in which the victim had touched nothing alcoholic but had sim ply been in the company of drinkers Whiffers Cut that ottt I want to show it to my -wife Pearsons AVeekly A Poer Father axe generals brave men asked Johnny of his father Yes my son as a rule -was the ansver Then why does artists always make pictures of em standing on a hill three miles away looking at a battle through an opera glass Tid Bits Her Occupation Well Mollie said the little girls father what have you been doing all day Doing nothing said Moilie pout ing Ive been donting most of the nine Harpers Bazar An Outcropping now do you know that stranger is from Brooklyn He registered at the hotel as from Greater New York Philadelphia North American More Generous You said that when Ave were mar ried you would refuse me nothing Ill be still more generous Ill not even refuse you nothing Ill give it to you Cincinnati Enquirer Bound to Weep jptf Nothing in the market approached the value of tiicsc Bicycles at the former prices what are they now POPE MFG CO Hartford Conn Catalogue free from any Columbia dealer by mail from us for one 2 cent stamp Mrs Mulligan An pliat be yez cryin for Mrs Muldoon Mrs Mukloon The banks busted not a chit fur enny -vim Mrs Mulligan An did yez have mon ey saved in it Mrs Muldoon Mrs Muldoon I did not but this is the ivan Id go in ef I did Now York Journal i CERSB The Cheerful Idiot So you say began the moderately new boarder that he speculated on a large scale exclusively May I inquire what was the use of this large scale Glad to answer you replied the Cheerful Idiot He had to have it foi weighing the consequences Indian apolis Journal X Kored Walk Jmm W if -Chicago Inter Ocean An Inference Probably What would you cjiII the sound pro duced when the two bodies come to gether V asked the teacher who wis trying to explain what a noise is to he pupils Oh a kis5 maam replied the little girl who evidently had older sisters- Ycnkers Statesman The Kcul Trouble They say he is short in his accounts dont theyV That is what they say but the fact is he is short in his cash Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph A Hint to the Kincr Mr Felleheld It seems to be true that Uneasy lies the head which wears a crown Mr Bloomfield No wonder I should think a king would put on a more com fortable nightcap Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph Of Course Not Why didnt you move on when the policeman ordered you to asked the New York judge of the prisoner I no untershtand him shudge re plied the prisoner You seem to understand English all right now Yes shudge bud de pliceman no speaka de English Yonkers States man The Supreme Power Do you mean to say thundered the court that you hold any human au thority higher than the laws of tho land No stammered the timid witness except when Im at home My wife makes the laws there Detroit Freo Press Will It Come to This Youthful Male Applicant I know Ive been a pretty tough lot sir but St Peter Oh never mind that walk right in Young men are so terribly scarce nowadays that we cant afford to be particular Cleveland Plaindeah er Why They Do It She A woman marries a man to keep him indoors lie And a man marries a woman to keep her in hats Yonkers Statesman Before Kis Time 1 Frl 1 lOT J LjlJiMa l iff ai 111 Sunday school Teacher Tommy who made all these beautiful fields and mountains Tommy I dont know We just rnov ed here The Cheerful Idiot One time said the traveled board er Igotsnowedin on the Rocky Moun tains and the only thing seven of us had for two days to sustain life was half a barrel of pickled pigs feet You were indeed said the cheerful idiot reduced to extremities In dianapolis Journal Her Post Graduate Course Daughter Yes Ive graduated but now I must inform myself in psychoid ogy philology bibli Practical mother Stop right where you are I have arranged for you a thorough course in roastology boilol ogy stitchology darnology patchology and general domestic hustology Now get on your working clothes Detroit Free Press Couldnt Find Landseer Madam Well Mary -what did you think of the pictures at the academy Mary Oh mum there was a picture called Two Dogs after Landseer but I looked at it for nearly half an hour and I couldnt see anything of Land seer Tit Bits A Disagreeable Consequence You say you hate to visit your rich relatives Why Dont they treat you well Oh yes they always do everything they can to make it pleasant for us but my wife never gets through com plaining until about two weeks after each visit because we are not as well off as they Cleveland Leaded HOG WAS BaDLV rOUiuL Mean Trick that Was Played 01 an J n 11c cent hoat The meanest trick that was ever invented was played on a hog said Uncle Jclm as he lighted Lis pipe and settled inrck m his chair for ait alter dinirer smoke A neighbor of oury owned this hog and he was a mighty wise critter ay my ttory will show This neighbor also owned a large corn field among other possessions and this cornlield was well guarded by a fence with but one gate Well this old porker had the liberty of a held next to the corn patch and the farmer was astomshed one day to find the hog wandering around in the forbidden ter ritory The gate had not been opemxl and there was no apparent break in tho fence Farmer Joe drove him out but next day he was back again He chas ed him up and down the fence but to no purpose The hog would go out only through the gate though it was certain he had not entered by that way Farmer Joe was curious and de cided to keep a watch and solve the porcine mystery In the early morning the hog skirted the fence until he came to a huge log which formed part of it The log was hollow and by some effort the hog squeezed through and entered upon the premised land Nothing could induce him to go back by that entrance and the gate had to be again opened Upon examination Farmer Joe dis covered that the log was crooked and half circular in shape With the aid of a hired man he pried it around so that both ends opened into the vacant Held The next morning Mr Hog start ed for the cornfield as usual He trot ted along the fence until he came to the leg and worked his way into the hollow log After a moment he emerg ed at the opposite end of the log He was probably the most surprised hog in history lie looked around in a dazed way and then gazed reproach fully at the log Again he entered the log and again he emerged on the wrong side of the fence Thus he spent the forenoon and only gave up the task when it was apparent that some one had done him wrong There is a moral in this story said Uncle John as he lighted another match but you can apply it to suit yourself I am afraid that as a people we too often resemble Farmer Joes heg and that no matter what we do we come out on the same side of the fenca Make Your Will A man possessed of one dollar or a few hundred dollars has as much right to arrange for the distribution of his possessions as the man who has mill ions It is also as incumbent upon the man of small means to properly dis ipose of his holdings as it is upon the one who has more The lawyers of this country would lose many fat fees if those who have accumulated a por tion of this worlds goods be it ever so small would leave specific directions as to what disposition should be made of their property after death Making a will is generally regarded as a very solemn affair says National Stockman Surrounded by all the glcom and sor row of the death bed where these im portant documents are generally made the framing of a last will and testa ment is a very serious and unpleasant task Many put this matter off on account of the expense attached to it in law yers fees etc Anyone who can write a legible hand and express his ideas so that they can be understood can write his own will The simpler the form the better so it is clear The following form will make as strong a testament as can be framed by any attorney I of County State do hereby make my last will and to staniemt I give devise and bequeath all niy estate real and personal to heirs executors adminis trators and assigns I appoint sole executor of tlhis will In -Testimony whereof I have hereunto set my hand Mils day of ISO Siiiod Signed published and declared by tho -above named as and for his last will and testament in the presence of tis who in his presence and in the presence of each otlher and at his request have hereunto subscribed our names aj w i messes A will of this kind will hold in the courts of any of the States if properly witnessed Two witnesses are gener ally necessary With this general form the distribution can be made to include any number of beneficiaries or cliang ed to suit circumstances A Bishops Centenary The centenary of the consecration of Bishop Bass of Massachusetts winch was celebrated last week recalls some anecdotes of the Bishop He refused to live in Dorchester because the brooks there were not large enough for Bass to swim in His first marriage dis pleased his parishioners whereupon he preached to them a sermon from the text They will slay me for my wifes sake His parishioners would often get in arrears with his salary which never was more than j00 When the the treasury was so low as to become hopeless they would call upon him and ask what -they should do Well well he would say let it go Ill release you and we will begin jigain At the A hist Club Mr Wiggles Did you go to the whist club to day Mrs Wiggles Yes Mr Wiggles What was the subject for discussdcai this afternoon Somer ville Journal Every one admires the woman who is so loyal to her husband that no one dares pity Iter when he misbehaves Experiment has shown that petro leum ether can be used to measure by its contraction temperatures several hundred degrees below zero on the Fahrenheit scale At the temperature at which liquid air boils 10 degrees Fahr below zero petroleum ether still remains in a viscous or semi liquid con dition and continues to contract with decrease of temperature Neglect ot Hie hair often destroys its vitality and natural hue and causes it o fall out iJefore it is too late apply Hair Hair Uenewer a sure remedy Two years ago SOU salmon trout were turned into the ornamental water in St James Park London But as these lish cannot live except in fresh run ning water all have perished whereas roach and eels flourish in the lake My doctor said I would die but Pisos Cure for Consumption cured run Amos Kelner Cherry Valley 111 Nov 2H Caesar did not say Et to Brut Eye witnesses of the assassination de posed that he died fighting but silent like a wolf Alabaster is scarcely ranro Immaculate than the com plexlon beautl ed witli llenns Milphur oap Hills Hair ani Whisker Die black or brown JiOc Thieves at Buckingnamshire Eng land stole a bronze and stone fountain fourteen feet high rvirs Wiiixiowrt Southixo writer for ChllCren lpttilnisllii the 3Uin reduce in ammatlonallajj uain cures wind colic 25 cents a bottle There is more snuff used in Boston than in any other city in h United States BOILS BOILS BOBLS Thoy Came Thick and Fast Till Cured by Hoods Sarsapartlla My brother had terrible boils on the back of his noi k As fast as one wotdd set bettor another would cnine He be came very much emaciated and began taking Hoods Sarsaparilla One bottlo made a great improvement and when ho had taien two bottles he was completely cured I Enviv Mound City Illinois Be sure to get oods Sarsaparilla Hoods Pills euro sck headache cents Sara sate the violinist claims to have a red Stradivarius for which he has refused 30000 Shake Into Your Shoes Allens Foot Ease a powder for the feet It cures painful swollen smarting feet and instantly takes the sting out of corns and bunions Its the greatest comfort discovery cf the age Allens foot Ease makes tight fitting or new slv s feel easy It is a certain cure or sweating callous and hot tired aciiiiiicet Try it to day Sold by all druggisiVvutl shoe stores By mail for 25 cents in stips Trial package FREE Address Alkj S Olmsted IeRoy X Y The one who fails in character has made the greatesufailure FITS Iennannn ly Cnrrt No nts or nervensn ss alter tirst ay um ot Ur Sreot Kent- its 1 orer end for rKE SIOO trid botth an realise lit IC H Ki isE Ltd tm Arch si riniaueluhta Pa They v ho wait to do great things uever do anything OPEN LETTER To MOTHERS WE ARE ASSERTING IN THE COURTS OUR RIGHT TO THF EXCLUSIVE USE OF THE WORD CASTORIA AND PITCHERS CASTORIA AS OUR TRADE MARK I DR SAMUEL PITCHER of Ey minis Massachusetts was the originator of PITCHERS CASTORIA tho samo fJtn h lina hrrrnf rrnrl rJnpQ timn hear the facsimile signature of S7Zc 07i every wrapper This is the original PITCHERS CASTORIA which has been used in the homes of the mothers of America for over thirty years LOOK CAREFULLY at the wrapper and see that it is the hind you have always bought jFhl and has the signature o 1 f s Lzs7jdcUb 1 O t ic W SJ wx rr i YJJ on tho wrap per No one has authority from me to use my name except The Centaur Company of which Chas E Fletcher 13 President March S 1897 1- 2--- Do Not Be Deceived Do not endanger the life of your child by accepting a cheap substitute which some druggist may offer you because he makes a few more penniea on it the ingredients of which even 7ie does not know The Kind You Have Always Bought BEARS THE FAC SIMILE SIGNATURE OF vTZ fe7 Insist on Having The Kind That Never Failed You THE CCNTAUn COMPANY 7T MURRAY STREET NCWYORK CITY ----- If a woman reads Pearline ads and acts upon them shell have plenty of time to read everything- else rn the paper lnau is what a woman writes to us and shes a woman who oueht to know How lare a part of your time is spent in get tine thin gs clean Havent yes something better that youd like to do if you had the time for it Time is one of the things that Pearline saves To hurrv up housework and inake every kind of washing and cleaning- quick and easy use Pearline SSffiSSS JI9IBIJIBISIMIWlleltlIWICII3ll0lieiaillIMIBII3lt3ll0IIMimMIlitlliO1CtOIl3ISlallrlllOIp 1 flFh W Efrb S 5 SsiljBBfe I SSPBSiBPESf ALWAYS TRGE T I iCJaf AwHE i TO TliE LAZY UVE8 1 I Poisonous matter instead of being thrown out is reabsorbed into I the blood wlien this poison reaches the delicate brain tissus it s rmecc rnnwctmn ntyA irhf snwfftt rtutL tbrnbbincr sickening oairx 9 g WWww Wi5V v -- - w 7 7 O - I lea f V t J IrJt XfA J Si H j S75 S50 x ract J R0f U i W mf EftT BCYCLc Western Wheel Works Cff CA GO CI SOS CATAL9GVE FREE bst Red Rope Rooflnpforl ct jicrsn foot cih anil nails Included substitutes for llaster -ain Dies free ay Manilla Roofing Co Camden J STENTS H D WILLSON L CO Wash lagtoa DC K o charge till patent obtatcod GOpmcc book free 2 cw nihiiiiur e ia sijhj 11 1 wKuaifK a Tf V XSk as- i PAKry WfeS fFPW STIMUUTIN6 THE LIVES I s Making the poison move on and out and purifying- the blood I The effect is ALMOST INSTANTANEOUS s ft a 5 ja A1J uxr f whose sensitive organism is especially prone to sick headaches DO 5 OJ3 RTrs T7 W HhKB in trm r in hir th fc nt t ftMhKt 1 3 K u a ir i X JS XLN Ul JJl W M j ww w j g I gZSZSZ Relieved Like raagsc I oilKiomiaitieiiiioiiaisiiwiii8iatiiiiauiiaiiieuiiiHwmiMiMiiiiMiiitiiiiciMWieiiliwiiiieisiiatf Use the Means and Heaven Will Give You the Blessing Never Negiect A Useful Article Like g s v m Sr tSl cot -a uitarf rSWTKtEiW3 XT VCINCIXJfJinOI J N Ks m CURE YQ URSELF f P IfiT Ci r tinrTr1 diFrnarjjefc iaiaijion irritations or ulcerations of mucous raembranes Pitnlttm an tw ialM UHEHiaLCO gent or poionuG5 Sold ny IJrnjist or sent it plain -wrapper by ezpreg prppaid for Si CO r r 3 boftleg 27 Circular sent on request gawfecefeggysgagaag CURES WHchc t CouKh Syrup 29 97