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KOUEItT GOOD Editor and Prop
VALENTINE
NEBRASKA
The man most willing to accept an
encore is the one who is permitted to
renew hs note
The financial outlook for next season
is brighter tiian usual Neither the De
Reszkes nor Mine Calve will return
next year
Experts on insanity say that luna
tics get along better when they work
Other people are also often beneited
by that reniedy
The fate of that Ohio boy who has
a bark like a dog is not so desperate
as it might have been Suppose he had
a bark like an oak
What others say of you is ever so
much better than what you say about
yourself remarks a New York adver
tising expert That depends
The New Yoik World is reviving that
old question Is marriage a failure
Why not save time by sending a re
porter to interview Lillian Russell
A dispatch says that an Oklahoma
man has been arrested for having one
twite tuo many A great many repu
table law abiding citizens have that
Yvette Guilbert explains to an inter
viewer that at last she has found an
ideal husband This is too bad a real
one would have suited her much bet
ter
Owney the postal tramp dog lias
been killed again This intelligent ani
mal from the special correspondents
standpoint appears to be the legitimate
successor of the air ship
The Philadelphia Inquirer cites an
instance of a man who was struck by
lightning and rendered unconscious in
Pennsylvania over twenty years ago
Well hell probably stay in that State
forever
Year after year every large city in
the country has a chrysanthemum
show and yet no one has discovered a
way to utilize that cabbage like blow
out for slaw purposes Is Yankee
genius decadent
Some thoughtful genius down East
has invented a sanitary Bible which
may safely be kissed in court What
Is needed however is some invention
which will lead to a more general use
of the old fashioned Bible
Several medical men in London claim
to have discovered an instance in
which a young man over there actually
thought himself to death There is
verv littlGliUolihooL tiint tio iij
ever will become epidemic in Londoirr
A Texas girl in a 50 eent shirt waist
Is undoubtedly one of the most attract
ive sights on the face of the earth
Dallas News
Always excepting one of our girls of
course in any old kind of a shirt
waist
A New York wife has secured a di
vorce because her husband kissed her
in a cold and matter of fact manner
Gotham husbands henceforth who
want to be on the safe side should boil
their osculation as well as their drink
ing water
It is often said that troubles are
friends in disguise but this can only
be so when we know how to avail our
selves of their aid When we do not
know how to do so it may easily hap
pen that through the darkness in
which they encompass us no ray of
light can pierce and out of the bitter
ness no sweetness can arise
X Chicago judge has just compelled a
man to pay alimony to his divorced
wifes second husband She got her
decree and 300 alimony and two
days later married the second man
When she died the alimony had not
been paid and the new husband as
her only heir sued his predecessor for
the unpaid alimony and got it
Words of cheer are words of help
words of gloom are words of harm
There is a bright side and a dark side
to every phase of life and to every hour
of time If we speak of the bright side
we bring the brightness into prom
inence if we speak of the dark side
we deepen its shadows It is in our
power to help or to hinder by a word
any and every person with whom we
come into contact
A minister at Larchmont N Y has
obtained a divorce in North Dakota on
the grounds that his wife was cruel
He charges among other things that
she was given to playing golf on other
than ladies days that she did not wear
her hat on straight and that her walk
was bad form All these things dis
turbed his state of mind and were
therefore cruel The bonds were sev
ered and he is now at liberty to com
pose his sermons unvexed by the
thought that his wife with a rakishly
poiscd hat and a swagger walk is out
on the golf links putting the caddie in
a hole or a hole in the caddie or what
ever the expression mav be
Before the Emperor AYilliam can turn
the hands of the clock of the centuries
to suit himself he must smash all the
printing presses close all the univer
sities colleges and schools and put pro
hibitive tariffs not only upon knowl
edge but also upon commerce itself
For in every hold and in every freight
car tli ere are the hardv seeds of nine-
I
teonili century democracy Cleaily the
time is at hand when the Emperor must
either step the German people from
thinking or bpgin to think himself
Ambrose Bierce the California war
horse appears to have been fouled by
some ireless book reviewer for Ik
swertiy remarks that ic regukitloi
bookwhacker is the anile insula nuga
cious and hebetudinous fabrication oi
some celestial utilitarian who sccep i
iug through the six days of creallou
awoke to a sluggish activity on the
seventh grabbed the first gob of mud
that came to hand fashioned it into an
amorphous Thing and finding ail ex
isting beasts subject to Man bespoke
for it a narrow dominion over the tardy
mule Nov- will the critics be good
A curious instance of the effect of a
name on the prosperity of a town is re
ported from Florida A place there
known as Macon remained at a stand
still and seemed to be practically dead
until one day its name was changed to
Trilby and since that time its growth
has been phenomenal It will be a
wanton waste of a valuable mascot
however if this Florida town is al
lowed to monopolize the population giv
ing resources of the new name New
York is striving by every means in its
power to hold first place among Ameri
can cities and happens also to be in
need of a new name Why not make
arrangements to transfer this Florida
name Why not call New York
Trilby
The new clergymen are going too
far One of these in New Jersey has
put a phonograph in his church and
uses it to save himself from the trouble
of praying reading selections from the
Bible and asking the divine blessing
upon the congregation lie has dis
missed the soloists of the choir and the
congregation is now regaled by pho
nographic reproductions of the voices
of great singers in sacred music Logi
cally carried out this would result in
the dismissal of the preacher himself
and the substitution of Edisons inven
tion instead Then the worshipers at
a nominal cost per month could listen
to the greatest clergymen of the world
and would be relieved of the necessity
of pound parties and other drains upon
the purse
The liquor license law of Pomona
Cal raises saloon keeping into some
thing of a high art Only two saloons
are allowed and each proprietor is
obliged to pay in advance a license fee
of 1000 and pnt up a bond of 5000
to be forfeited if he fails to obey all the
restrictions of the law The saloons
must front on the streets must con
sist of only one room and half of tha
front must be plain glass unobstructed
by screens Only one ohair is allowed
and that is for the barkeeper who
must be a personage of distinction He
is obliged to obtain the official approval
of the City Council before lie can ac
cept the responsibilities of the
rrua i not mean lnucn in
fSSfrago but in Pomona the Council
sanction is a badge of respectability
There are many other minor restric
tions which make it necessary for a
man in search of a drink to pass a sort
of civil service examination wliile the
dispenser Is justified in assuming the
dignified demeanor of a university
alumnus
The exposition which the people of
Tennessee have created to commemor
ate the centennial anniversary of the
State should be a source of national as
well as local pride Those who have
been familiar with all the great fairs
which have been held in this country
place none but the Worlds Columbian
Exposition of 1S93 ahead of the one
now open in Nashville The Philadel j
phia centennial and the expositions of
New Orleans Atlanta and San Fran
cisco all stand second to this The
fact that President MeKinley recog
nized the importance of the event and
journeyed from Washington with his
cabinet and personal party indicates
the national character of the fair
Buildings erected by many of the States
of the Union and the splendid exhibits
from all parts of the country are sup
plemented by surprisingly pretentious
displays from foreign countries So
much for the quality of tne fair It is
not failing of recognition The people
of the Southern and border States are
flocking to Nashville in special trains
over all lines Northern visitors attend
in large numbers and receive a cordial
welcome As to immediate finance the
directors take pride in the fact thai
within three weeks after the opening of
the gates while much was still incom
plete they began the payment of their
debenture bonds and there is every
prospect that the close of the season
will show a profit over all expense
Southern Forests Disappearing
In Geoi gia Florida Alabama and
other Southern States the grand old
forests of pine are rapidly disappear
ing The destroyers seem to have no
thought of the future They make no
steps to replace that which they take
away The influence of forests upon
rainfall moisture and seasons is pret
ty well understood The point has
about been reached at which it is nec
essary that something should be done
to put a stop to forest destruction If
steps to that end are not taken it will
not be a great while before this sec
tion will suffer a succession of drouths
floods and severe storms There should
be some way of preserving the forests
for the general good Our people are
selling their birthright for a mess of
pottage It is well enough that lands
should be cleared up for settlement
but millions of acres of forests are dis
appearing every year and very Ltttle
is coming in to compensate for the Itiss
Savannah News
Some people laugh like amateur sing
ers trring to run the scales
I0NG IN THE SERVICE
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FIVE OLD ATTACHES OF THE
WHITE HOUSE
Employes Who Served Under Many
Ail m ministrations Presidents Come
and Go bit These Good and Faith
ful Servants Remain
White Uoue Fixtures
Washington correspondence
this world is
THAT a fleeting
show is evidenced
by several people
at the White
House in Washing
ton D C You
meet one of them
at the big door as
you enter and he
is made known to
you as Captain
Thomas Pendel
chief doorkeeper
You meet the sec
ond in the person
vk of Col William
lflUlMibo
i s chief
usher If you suc
ceed in gettingpast
their vigilant eyes
third ii the person of a
gentleman who stands
guard over the cabinet room and the door
leading to the private part of the Presi
dents heme He is Major Loefller Up
in that region you will also find Col Pru
den the White House sphinx and Col
Crook the all around generalissimo
There aie others but these are the ones
who like Tennysons brook go on for
ever Presidents come and go children
who played at egg rolling on the White
House lawns grow to men and won en
and visit the White House with their
children and there are greeted by the
same kindly faces that were about them
in the long ago happy days Whole gen
erations of White House children have
come and gone yet the faithful servitors
of their presidential progenitors are still
with the snow white hair and the keen
eyes who stands guard over the door tr
the cabii et room and also over that whi h
leads from the public to the private part
of the executive mansion is Maj Charles
D A Loonier who was born in Stuttgart
but who came to America and entered the
regular army as a member of the Second
Cavalry in 1858 He campaigned allover
the Western frontier before the war and
what he does not know of hardship hun
ger and thirst is scarcely worth printing
The famous Custer was a cadet at West
Point when Major LoefHer was doing
outpost duty in Texas and he saluted
Col lit bert E Lee as commanding officer
Attached though he was to his command
er he lemained in the Union when Lee
went out and was ordered to Washing
ton where he became dispatch bearer
and was trusted with many secrets be
tween Lincoln and ills generals He act
ed as messenger for Secretary Stanton
and finally became a messenger in the
White House where for nearly a quarter
of a century he has watched cabinets
come and go he himself a fixture He is
low voiced and gentle as a woman and it
is rarely you can get him to open the
storehouse of anecdotes that he is so rich
in F r many years all the callers upon
the President passed -through the doors
w Inch he guards He knew all the states-
men and office holders in the country all
the mihlaiy men and all the dead neats
ne got so that he could turn down a man
so nicely he never knew it till he wa
Iwwed outside of the corridor into the air
He never made a mist ike in letting a man
in to see the President it is said and in
that way made himself almost invaluable
Another White House Fixture
Geni it Major O L Pruden is another
of the White House appurtenances which
President MeKinley has found checked
over to him for nearly twenty five years
His office that of chief executive clerk
comes next to that of Hie secretary to the
President in importance Major Pruden
has been called the administration
sphinx ever since he assumed his duties
at the desk He knows a great many
things and knows them very well bur he
is one of the birds who can sing and
wont But oh what stories he could
tell if he only would lie came to Wash
ington a boy in blue from Now Jer
sey early in the war and his splendid
efe l
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ftLPRUDEN
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A GROUP OF OLD WHITE HOUSE ATTACHES
there under the historic roof caring for
the guest of the nation even as some
cared foi the fathers a nd grandfathers
of those who come now
Captain Pendel Is Senior
The very oldest in point of service and
of years at well is Capt Thomas Pendel
who marks with a star in his memory the
od day of November 1804 when he was
transfeired from the Metropolitan police
force or rather was detailed for special
duty at the White Houre Those were
troublous days in Washington and the
tired worried hammed man who had
taken upon his broad shoulders the awful
burden of carrying a government through
a civil Aar was facing a future that look
ed black and his heart was heavy within
him Captain Pendel was a bricklayer by
trade and served his apprenticeship until
he was HI He was born on what was
Analostan island in 182J and is now TA
years old He does not look it for his
abundant hair is coal black and only a lit
tle gray shows at the temples His grand
father was in the revolutionary Avar his
father in the war of 1S12 and he was him
self in the marine sen ice of the Mexican
war He does not know of a creature
living to day outside of his immCdate
family w ho boars his name He is mar
ried and has several charming daughters
who plnjed in youth with the White
House child l en
Couldnt pare C roolc
Next longest in point of service at the
White House is Col Crook He says
that title was not won in military service
and carries no straps with it but that it
came upon him gradually and he wears it
because ho cant seem to get rid of it but
then nobody wants to have him give it up
for it fits admirably Col Crook came
to act as bodyguard for Mr Lincoln ate
in November 1S04 He was a soldier in
a Maryland regiment when detailed to
the White House and he found favor at
once in the eyes of Mr Lincoln who
seemed to have singled him out on many
occasions Col Crook was drafted late
in the war and just a little over a month
before Mie death of Mr Lincoln he wrote
the following
My man Crook has been drafted I
cannot spare him P M G please fix
A LINCOLN
March 2 ISCo
Col Crook did not have to be spared
but the man he had seived with such ten
der dev lion was taken The man so val
uable to Mr Lincoln had been just as
much worth to all the other administra
tions and so Col William Crook is
borne upon the pay rolls of the White
House now exactly as he was thirty three
years ago only his duties haveincreased
and his responsibilities ne has rilled
nearly every desk in the office and was
for a time private secretary for President
Grant He is now the disbursing clerk
and ha served under nine Presidents
two of them having been there two terms
Grant and Cleveland
The slight military looking gentleman
penmanship won him immediate recogni
tion in the War Department His regi
ment was ordered away but he Avas held
to be too A aluable a penman to spoil his
fingers handling a big gun In 1872 he
was detailed to the White House and
was placed on the official staff by Presi
dent Grant and he has been there ever
since Col Prudens duties are
fold vexing and perplexing but he is jolly
through it all He puts info writing the
history of every official transaction in the
White House E ery nomination made
by the President from a cabinet minister
to the appointment of a cross roads post
master -whose salary is 1 cents a year
and furnish your own postofiice building
with the action of the Senate is re
corded by him in handwriting that rivals
copper plate All the communications be
tween the executive mansion and the de
partments are entered in his books lie
makes the copies of all the Presidents
messages and personally delivers them to
the President of the Senate and Speaker
of the House The history of the docu
ments Avhich he has thus carried Avould
make interesting reading if he AAouId give
the inside facts away But he wont
FATAL TO MAN AND BEAST
The Iiittle Buffalo Gnat Already Hag
a String of Victims
From many places come reports of a
plague of buffalo gnats Near Jefferson
ville Ind a farmer named Price while
p
at work on iiis
farm was stung tc
death by a swarm
that lit upon his
face and hands In
western Oklahoma
and parts of Texas
adjoining several
hundred head of
horses mules and
VXCteV cattle have been
killed
the buffalo gxat xhe gnats re
semble small flies They appear in the
spring along the river regions and are car
ried into the country by north winds
Wherever they bite they cause Burning
itching Scon a painful hard swelling
makes its appearance It may remain for
a week or longer Many such bites close
together produce severe inflammatory
fever and in more susceptible victims
cramps
Animals Avhen attacked by large num
bers grow frantic and seek to evade their
tormentors by rolling in the dust rush
ing about and whirling round ami round
At times they are literally covered with
the animated pests The ears and nostrils
are the chief points of attack The for
mer are filled clear to the tympanum witJh
layer upon layer An inflammatory fever
with a high pulse soon sets in The af
flicted cattle scon die of cramps and con
vulsions In the dead auimaJs the skin
of the entire body will be found covered
with numerous minute ulcers
J
MWWril ri 11 mi urn i
That Free Breakfast Table
It is a curious illustration of the
height of inconsistency for the Repub
licans to plume themselves on allowing
the poor man the enjoyment of a free
breakfast table because the proposed
tax on tea has been abandoned
Hoav free is the poor mans breakfast
table Let us look it over a moment
and see The table cloth is taxed the
dishes are taxed the knives and forks
are taxed the lumber in the table is
taxed the chair is taxed the sugar is
taxed and in fact about the only thing
that isnt taxed is the tea which the
Republican reformers are afraid to tax
but -which they may decide to tax be
fore they got through with the tariff
bill
The Republican tariff tinkers are in n
very embarrassing position Thus far
all they have been able to accomplish
has been to vote a gratuity of 3000
000 to the sugar trust and a correspond
ing amount of money for the benefit of
importers in general So far as secur
ing any revenue for the Government
the tariff bill Avill prove absolutely val
ueless for fully twelve months after it
has been passed What Avill the ad
ministration do in order to secure rev
enue
The Republican party opposes an in
come tax That would nffect the rich
and the rich must be protected at all
hazards It is opposed to an inherit
ance tax for here again the unearned
increment of fortune is made to pay
tribute to the Government and such a
thing must never be allowed Hoa
then Avill the treasury be filled
Perhaps the fear of the reprisal which
the voting masses will surely take may
be overcome and the Republicans final
ly decide to tax tea beer and coffee
But should the AAholesome terror of the
outraged Aoter restrain the spoilsmen
from imposing this burden what then
What does a merchant do when he
finds that he must have money and
although he cant earn anything yet he
has credit He borroAvs That is Avhat
the Republicans Avill have to do It is
more than likely that plans are already
laid to issue bonds They Avill be need
ed and the Republicans vill be happy
to issue them because they are working
in the interests of bondholders
Of course these bonds will be made
payable in gold but the Republicans
vsont have to pay them That part of
the transaction they will leave for the
people to look after
The Democrats in Iowa
Iowa has a fusion ticket composed
of two Democrats two Silver Repub
licans and one Populist The Demo
crats Silver Republicans and Populists
were compelled to fuse on a single
ticket in order to obtain for their can
didates places on the official ballot
that is if they proposed to support the
same candidates The recent Iowa
Legislature passed a law providing
that the name of no candidates should
appear more than once on the ballot
It was supposed the Republican
Legislature that this restriction on the
use of the same name twice on the bal
lot would prevent fusion on candidates
But it appears to have had the con
trary effect It has produced a closet
fusion and more complete union among
the various parties opposed to the Re
publican party
The platform adopted by the dowa
Democrats is a powerful denunciation
of the Republican policy in that State
and of the action of the Republican
Congress in seeking to increase popular
burdens and to fasten on the country
the shackles of restricted trade The
arraignment of the Republican party
State and National is replete Avith
facts and is conclusive
It is charged Avith truth that the
State administration of Ioaai has been
extravagant and profligate that pro
fuse appropriations have been made by
the Legislature beyond the public
needs that reform in taxing methods
has been defeated that the system of
prohibition has been at once a fraud
and an oppression and that the crea
tion of a Slate debt of 1000000 was
the result of bad legislation The de
nunciation of the National Republican
administration and of Congress is
equally vigorous
Iowa Democrats can come together
in this canvass If there are differ
ences on the currency question they
can await settlement The present
question of paramount national impor
tance forced by Republicans is that of
a tariff for tribute not to the United
States but to protected interests There
should be hearty support of the Iowa
Democratic ticket by all Iowa Demo
crats Chicago Chronicle
Hannas Hard Fisrht
In spite of Hannas bluff and the
boasting on the part of his immediate
supporters the feeling among the rank
and file of the Republican party in
Ohio is anything but confident
Those who look at the situation with
judicious coolness remember that the
State AA as at one time during the last
Presidential contest lost to the Re
publicans and that it took a barrel of
money to get it away from Bryan The
strong free silver sentiment that almost
SAvept Ohio from Republican moorings
in 1S9G has groAvn immensely since that
time owing to the fact that promised
prosperity has failed to dawn and be
cause the evil effects of the gold stand
ard are making themselves felt more
keenly with every day that passes
State pride in the Ohio nominee for
President swelled the Republican vote
last November and at that time the
party was practically harmonious
m wwvrt3gs
Things are in quite a different shape
now President MeKinley s not a can
didate and Mark Ilaima is There is a
bitter factional fight junong the Re
publicans and while an apparent peace
has been forced upon the contending
leaders there will be ample opportuni
ty for the quiet use of the stilletto on
election day
Pcpuhlicnn Prcten
The Republican platform adopteii at
St Louis declared in no uncertain tone
in favor of bimetallism pledging the
parly to do all that lay in its poAver to
bring about an international agreement
in favor of the use of both silver and
gold as the money of ultimate redemp
tion
What has the Republican party done
to prove that this pledge was sincere
It is safe to say that it has done noth
ing Avth the exception of sending a
commission to Europe uiaele up of
three men one of whom is a pronounc
ed sing e gold standard advocate one
who is credited with a secret leaning
toward golel and one who is a genuine
bimetallist Now if the Republicans
wanted bimetallism would they not
send bimetallists across the ocean T
urge their cause
The fact is the Republican platform
Avas made to catch Aotes and not to de
clare principles The plank on bimetal
lism did not and does not express the
vieAvs of the party leaders EA ery one
of the men who control the party ma
chine is a goldite a inonometallist a
man in league Avith Wall street and the
bondholders The administration is
bitterly ami unalterably hostile to sil
ver The bimetallic plank in the Re
publican platform Avas a lie and the
men aaIio wrote it Averc politicians
The appointment of the bimetallic
commission was the silliest most trans
parent and the shalloAvest trick ever
played and AA as an insult to the intelli
gence of fourteen million Aoters Demo
cratic and Republican combined who
voted for bimetallism for say what
may the Republican platform
pledges the party to the double stand
ard But that pledge AA as a hypocriti
cal bit of fustian to fool the voter and
having served its purpose is throAvn
aside and disregarded
Plow sincere the administration is m
its detire to bring about an interna
tional use of silver and gold as currency
can be judged from the fact that every
ambassador and every consul It has
sent abroad so far to represent the
United States in foreign courts is a
radical and intolerant gold advocate
The influence these representatives
will have in turning European thought
In favor of silver can readily be imag
ined
j ne uuneuuiic commission will nrstt i
have to convert the American ambs 1
sadors and consuls to a belief inirthe
double standard before it can reach the
ears of foreign rulers Isnt the Repub
lican pretense to bimetallism the shalr
loAA est humbug on earth
Why Cnba 3s Not Iiecocnized
Why is it that there is so much re
luctance on the part of the Republican
party to take any action in favor of
the Cuban insurgents Simply because
the sugar trust is elesi s of keeping
Cuba out of the Uniteu States for if
Cuba should become an integral part
of this nation the Cuban sugar
A ould be taken from the control
of the trust
The majority of the American people
are in sympatic Avith Cuba and it- is
just possible that so great Avill be he
pressure of public opinion that tfjjg
iiust may be baffled EA ents are nio
ing rapidly tOAA ard intervention ThgL
outrages of the Spaniards on American
citizens and their insolence in firing on
American ships are arousing a spirit
that cannot be held much longer in
check
There can be little doubt that the
I resident is inclined to take some ac
tion friendly to Cuba but there can
also be no doubt that great pressure is
being brought to bear to keep him from
committing this country in favor of
Cuban liberty Secretary Sherman
took occasion early in the daj to de
clare that he would not accept Cuba
as a gift and this sentiment met AAith
an enthusiastic reception on the part
of the managers of the trust and of
those Avho are the paid attorneys of the
trust Efforts are being made to se
cure the co operation of some European
poAver AAith the United States to secure
a settlement of the Cuban affair on the
basis of autonomy That Avould suit
the trust Will the scheme succeed
Chicago Dispatch
Brief Comment
ft is said that Mr MeKinley hopes for
a place in history He should remem
ber that history bestows places on the
merit system Dallas News
If a man AA ants to get a fair idea of
how business has fallen off since last
year let him try to get up an excursion
to Canton O Washington Post
Congress is plugging away at tariff
Cuba and Hawaii and noAv the Presi
dent proposes to tois another arbitra
tion treaty into the hopper Yet last
years campaign is alleged to have been
conducted on the financial question
Washington Post
All honest advocates of a protective
tariff are being brought to see by the
daily exhibitions in Washington that
an honest protective measure is an im
possibility It is simply a matter of
bargain and sale between the different
cabals of public plunderers Grand
Rapids Democrat
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