- 4r J7f nhntine gjettOcrtt ROBERT GOOD Editor and Prop VALENTINE - NEBRASKA Speaking about houFo clcauIng but come to think of it youd better not if you are talking for publication Lenenhock and Ilumboldt both say that a single pound of the finest spider webs would reach around the world By their course in the Cretan affair several European nations have earned a sound thrashing which they are likely to get Ram Pasha commander of the Turk ish forces on the Macedonian frontier undoubtedly will prove a hard man to buck against The oyster Is one of the strongest creatures on earth The force required to open one is more than nine hundred times its weight One report from Athens declares there is compromise in the air That Is probably so and the honor of Europe Is being compromised A Maine paper says that a man in Biddeford has invented a pencil sharp ener that will sharpen pencils EEow those New England reporters can pre varicate If the fellow who has been praying for rain lately will send his address to almost anyone in the lower Mississippi xalley his case will receive prompt and careful attention Now Rev Lyman Abbott intimates that Jonah lied about his voyage with in the whale This is taking a mean advantage of Jonah when he isnt here to give evidence in his own behalf A Pennsylvania jury the other day gave Anna Dickinson a verdict of 64 cents for false imprisonment in an asy lum And now it will be just like those fellows to try to cheat her out of the qnarter cent The Atlanta Journal announces that a splinter which had remained in the foot of Miss Babe Martin for forty foui years has worked itself out This we believe is one of the longest infan tile inflictions on record Dallas News There are no floods in Texas but of sunshine and song and there are enough of these to illnmine the gloom of Erebus and to swell all si lence with symphonies Such is the situation in gleaming gorgeous grand old Texas Chicago within the last few months has had enough object lessons to prove beyond any question that it is impossi ble for the officials of banking institu tions to bring about a restoration of general prosperity by loaning funds to themselves It is stated that G3 per cent of the1 manufactured food products of the United States are adulterated and yet the people of this country cannot con sume all the pure foods they produce It ts clear therefore that we are G3 per cent an unenlightened people and need a new illumination of some kind Phoenix Ariz rejoices because the Introduction of the Game well fire alarm system does away with what a local newspaper calls the time-honored system of giving notice of fire by a discharge of revolvers As a municipal improvement this is decided ly noteworthy The historical thin red line so often mentioned by English writers in con nection with their scarlet coated army Is becoming decidedly thinner For according to orders just issued by the War Department in London the chest measurement for infantry recruits has been reduced to thirty two inches Cleveland Plain Dealer After much flelay the grave and reverend seniors of the Supreme bench of Iowa have handed down a definition of the word swipe1 It means according to this unimpeachable authority to steal and is thus made an actionable epithet Iet this momentous definition be noted down by those whose passions are eas ily aroused to the abusive pitch A device is on trial in a Boston hotel Which it is hoped will reduce the rate of deaths by asphyxiation A small chamberof brass containing quicksilver Is so attached to every jet in the house that unlighted gas escaping through a stop coek will ring an electric bell in the office One night recently two ipiests accidentally left the gas on un lighted and a prompt alarm to the office proved the of the contriv ance The promptness with which water runs from cleared lands is illustrated In the Adirondaeks this year On those mountains wherever the trees have been removed is not even a flake of enow It has all been melted and rushed down to swell the rising streams On the mountains where the trees are still left there is yet snow to a depth of eighteen inches which will gradually melt as the weather be coomes warm sink into the ground and through the springs of the adjacent val leys feed streams when they will need feeding In an Italian daily newspaper the Soman Trifcnna of the 20th of jary occurs ihls extraordinary para graph In Sas Francisco California there took place recently a terrific panic in a theater Dvrifls a performance a - f w lamp exploded which caused a panic and wild rush for the door during which three hundred spectators and thirty six actors were killed This is another illustration of the old saying Go away from home to learn the news There certainly has ueen no such panic in a San Francisco theater of recent years and we doubt whether there ever was Excellencies as all travelers know are dirt cheap in Europe for every lib eral man is so called by all the servants and peasants in Italy and the other Latin countries Only one American at a time of all our seventy odd mil lions Is entitled to be so called That person Is the Governor of Massachu setts He is so by a constitutional pro vision of the Commonwealth Not even the President of the United States is entitled to be so addressed This mat ter was settled more than a century ago In the convention which framed our Constitution Paris is excited over an American style of robbery which has Just struck that town The story is told by the Paris correspondent of the New York Sun The proprietor of a fine restau rant of a certain class was the victim of a third swindle though twas more a joke than a fraud A party of four young bloods dined one evening not wisely but too well and too expensive ly at his establishment After a mag nificent repast in a private room there was a dispute about who should pay and the proprietor was sent for Each of the diners declared that he was there as the guest of the other three The dispute went on in a jocose fashion until the restaurant keeper threatened to call the police unless his money was forthcoming The four young men were annoyed at this suggestion Is that the way you treat gentlemen exclaim ed one of the party Now see here Since we are out for a lark I propose that we blindfold you Mr Proprietor and the one of us whom you catch first will pay for the supper and for two more bottles of champagne The res taurant keeper agreed He was secure ly blindfolded and he groped about the apartment in vain for a quarter of an hour Then he pulled off the bandage to find that the four revelers had fled The collapse of a bank is always a public calamity the evil consequences of which can never be measured in mere pecuniary loss It requires some thing besides columns of figures to ad equately represent the deplorable re suits of such a catastrophe as the wrecking of the Globe Savings Bank of Chicago The damage to business in the resultant loss of confidence in bank- ing institutions and the general demor alization of the credit structure upon which 90 per cent of our transactions are based cannot be accurately calcu lated in figures The failure of the Globe Savings Bank reveals a startling record of official perfidy and dishonor Seldom does a mere business collapse disclose such a depth of moral rotten ness involving such gross betrayals of trusts that men ordinarily hold sacred The story of the wreck is black with the most corrupt political jobbery The deeper it is probed the more offensive becomes the stench to the nostrils of honest men The State of Illinois should probe the affair to the bottom to the end that the blame for the deplora ble condition of affairs may be placed where it belongs and the culpable par ties severely punished The interests of honest banking the interests of the State institutions whose funds were jeopardized and the rights of those whose savings were engulfed in the maelstrom of political jobbery and criminal peculation all demand that the investigation be made rigidly and promptly The people desire to know if they have any protection in law from such flagrant betrayals of trust by those who have committed to them the savings of the poor and the funds of State institutions Washington Well Fortified In view of the fact that the national capital was once taken and burned Lv a foreign enemy it is reassuring to know that a calamity so humiliating is not likely to occur again even in case of sudden war Washington is the best defended city in the country A hostile fleet could not now ascend the Potomac as was done in 1S14 when President Madison and his wife were compelled to make a hurried escape across the Potomac to avoid capture by the British For military and prudential reasons little has been allowed to be made known concerning the new works and the heavy ordnance recently installed below the city but for the past two years engineers have been busy at the river forts Some very formidable guns are now in position there and a system of torpedo defenses perfected which would render the approach of an enemys warships within twelve miles of Washington practically impossible The defensive works are located at the elbow or turn of the Potomac where old Forts Washington and Sheri dan stood and where at one point the channel for vessels of deep draught is but 300 j ards wide The guns are protected on the water side by emplacement walls of stone and concrete seventy feet thick and on the land side by redoubts for infantry The rapidly increasing wealth and importance of Washington the grand new public buildings and the vast sums of money and bullion in the treasury render these protective and defensive measures a matter of national import ance and necessity Discouraged Jess Why dont the Smith girls go out any more on their bicycles Bess They heard a man tell his lit tle boy they were fat ladies from the museum out to advertise the show New York Journal 1 PRESBYTERIAN MEETING One Hundredth General Assembly to Convene at Eacle Lake Ind The 309th general assembly of the Pres byterian Church of the United States will meet at Eagle Lake Ind May 27 It will be the first time the general assembly has met away from a center of population and the experiment will be watched by a rafflSBsiro slllFSIKiSftSSft PsWWB8p ivr mw v wr PRES STUDEBAKEK great many people Last year the gener al assembly met at Saratoga the year before that it met at Detroit It has gone as far west as Port- Ai Innd ra Tf the QSS Presbyterians of In- aiana ana jSe ing States and cially the representa tives of the church identified with tne Winona Assembly and Summer School can have their way Winona beside the beautiful little lake will become the permanent home of the assembly Three years ago the school was incor porated It is denominational in the con struction of its board of directors two thirds of whom must be of Presbyterian faith but other denominations are admit ted It is in charge of Prof John M Coulter of the University of Chicago and Johu M Studebaker of South Bend was recently elected president Four thousand representatives of the church are expected to be in attendance - ifcfi 7 WfSSJVSrj HWrTffitef Mw jj W SSi - feJC mRwm l r u MAPLE GROVE Cycloramaln which the assembly will meet In the background 1 during the ten days the general assembly will be in session The auditorium in which the meetings will be held is erected on the style of a cyclorama building and is furnished with opera chairs It seats 3000 persons and 500 more can be crowded into it The commissioners of the general as sembly are elected by presbyteries and grouped into the con vention by synods There are thirty one synods represented in the general assem bly These are the synod of Atlanta the synod of Balti more the synod of California the synod of Catawba the syn - iiRifrgyvrs jKgp mm xis WF od of China the dk coulter od of Colorado the synod of Illinois tht synod of India the synod of Indiana the synod of Indian territory the synod of Iowa the synod of Kansas the synod of Kentucky the synod of Michigan the synod of Minnesota the synod of Mon tana the synod of Nebraska the synod of New Jersey the synod of New Mexico the synod of New York the synod of North Dakota the synod of Ohio the syn od of Oregon the synod of Pennsylvania the synod of South Dakota the synod of Tennessee the synod of Texas the synod of Utah the synod of Washington and the synod of Wisconsin The last general assembly represented 224 presbyteries 69 12 ministers 455 li centiates 176 local evangelists 150S can- r i 51M 4g3g SS8ip Jill ALOXG EAGLE LAKE didates 7573 churches 27025 elders 9174 deacons and 943716 communicants The church has had great growth the last year and it is believed this assembly will show more than one million communi cants There are 43000 Presbyterians in Indiana 65120 in Illinois 96461 in Ohio 30416 in Michigan and 7840 in Ken tucky so that the general assembly will meet in the midst of its friends FALL AT THEIR POSTS Fifty Firemen Are Overcome in a Fierce Klnxe in New York In Now York a deadly fire attended with a loss of 500000 broke out in the basement of the cold storage warehouse 161 to 105 Chambers street One fire man was killed and fifty others were felled unconscious by the deadly fumes of ammonia which assailed them as they entered the building The firemens cry of danger was heard on the outside and other companies were ordered in to rescue their comrades These in turn were also overcome until Chief Bonner feared he would lose all of his men Extra calls were sent out for surgeons and ambulances were summoned from the hospitals engine com pany 27s house almost directly opposite the blazing building was turned into an emergency hospital and as fast as the un fortunate men could be located and drag ged out into the open air they were car ried to house of temporary relief and prop erly cared for Note of Current Events John Russell Young of Philadelphia ja said to he slated as minister to Spain President McKinley Saturday received the new Chinese minister Wu Ting Fang Overflows of the Juniata river in Penn sylvania have caused immense loss to growing crops The notorious Princess Chimay has giv en up her intention of appearing in public in European music halls Spanish land and sea forces have recap tured the port of Banes held for about a month by the insurgents NATIONAL S0L0NS REVIEW OF THEIR WORK AT WASHINGTON Detailed Proceedings of Senate and House Bills Passed or Introduced in Either Branch Questions of Mo ment to the Country at Large The Letrislarive Grind During the consideration of the free homestead bill in the Senate Monday Mr Morgan proposed an amendment giving all public lands unoccupied by 1900 to the several States and territories Mr Haw ley declared this to be a startling proposi tion and Mr Tillman sought to oppose it by a series of questions addressed to Mr Morgan Some of the questions referred to the amendment as a proposition to gobble and steal the interests in pub lic lands Mr Morgan in turn made a sharp and sarcastic rejoinder and for a time Senators and spectators were inter ested in the animated cross fire After Mr Morgan had protested against the in terruption as a breach of the privileges of the Senate the incident was closed by a statement from Mr Tillman disclaiming any purpose of being discourteous to the Alabama Senator The Morgan amend ment was withdrawn Early in the day Mr Morgan endeavored to secure a vote on the Cuban resolution It went over however at the request of Mr Hale of Maine in order that speeches in opposi tion may be made The House by a vote of 124 to 52 approved the postponement of committees until action by the Senate on the tariff A Senate resolution appro priating 50000 for the congress of the universal postal union was adopted and Mr Showalter the Republican chosen at a special election to represent the twenty fifth Pennsylvania district was sworn in The tariff bill was unexpectedly report ed from committee to the Senate Tuesday and the entire time of that body was taken up in listening to reading of the measure Changes have been made in nearly every schedule since it was passed by the House Consideration was post poned fourteen days The House was not in session The Senate Wednesday by the vote of 43 to 26 refused to ratify the general ar bitration treaty between the United States and Great Britain negotiated b Secretary Olney and Sir Julian Paunce fote At the conclusion of the proceed ings all of which were in executive ses sion the Senate refused to authorize the publication of the details The open ses sion of the Senate was devoted to the sundry civil appropriation bill which was not completed up to the time of adjourn ment Mr Deboe of Kentucky took the oath of office at the opening of the ses sion and was cordially greeted by his Republican associates The Senate in executive session confirmed the following nominations Elmer J Miller surveyor of customs at Columbus Ohio Thomas R rurnell United States district judge for the eastern district of North Carolina William H Meyer Indian agent for the Southern Ute agency Colorado John B Wright and John W Ross commission ers of the District of Columbia John Mc Mullen of Maryland to be an asptint surgeon in the marine iiospital service The Senate Thursday agreed to an amendment to the sundry civil bill revok ing the order of President Cleveland made Feb 22 last establishing forest reservations aggregating 17000000 acres Another amendment agreed to provides for a continuance of the inves tigation of the condition of the fur seals in Bering Sea The sundry civil an aggregate of 53000000 The House by a strict party vote all the Republicant favoring and all the Democrats and Pop ulists opposing adopted a resolution pro viding that the nouse should meet only on Mondays and Thursdays of each week until otherwise ordered It was an nounced to be the Republican policy to wait on the Senates action on the tariff bill Mr Bailey Dem of Texas made a strong but unsuccessful fight to have the order modified so as to give early and full consideration to the bankruptcy bill The Republicans replied that they would call up the bankruptcy bill and hold daily sessions on it after Gen Hendersons return but until then the rule should stand The House then adjourned until Monday JOE PATCHEN AT AUCTION Famous Pacer Goes to C W Marks on a Bid of 15000 Joe Patchen the famous pacer with a record of 203 was sold at auction for 15000 to C W Marks a shoe manufac turer Tuesday morning in the Dexter Park horse exchange at the Chicago stock yards Nearly 5000 horsemen and spec tators packed the amphitheater and cheer ed the rival bidders in their elforts to win JOE PATCIIEN -- the prize When David McPeat of Phila delphia in charge of the Splan Newgass sale finally after twenty minutes of auc tioneering knocked the horse down to Mr Marks for a sum fully 9000 greater than that of any sale ever before effected in the stock yards district the crowd lustily yelled its approval for almost five min utes Told in a Few Lrineai Justin McCarthy the Irish parliamen tary leader who has been seriously ill is improving A meeting at Rock Island 111 address ed by Rev T DeWitt Talmage for the sufferers of India realized almost 1000 College students and athletic associa tions in Michigan are considerably agi tated over a pending measure in the Leg islature of that State to prohibit football contests Rev G O Brown who gained noto riety at San Francisco in the Overman scandal has accepted a call to a Chicago Congregational charge He has been preaching in Toronto Black coal operators and miners of the Brazil Ind district are in conference over the wage scale for the coming year The employes propose a 10 per cent reduc tion which is not likely to be accepted THE THAMES AT BLACKFRIARS A Picturesque Place in Days of Gmtl Queen Bess Master Skylark the story of Shakspeares time that is running as a serial in St Nicholas gives many in teresting glimpses of old Loudon Nick and the master player came down Ludgate Hill to Blackfriars laud ing in a stream of merrymakers high and low rich and poor faring forth to Londons greatest thoroughfare the Thames and as the driver and the no ble mansions aloug the Strand came into view Nicks heart beat fast It was a sight to stir the pulse Far down the stream the grim old Tower loomed above the drifting mist and higher up old London bridge lined with tall houses stretched from shore to shore There were towers on it with domes and gilded vanes and the river foamed and roared under it strangled by the piers From the dock at St Mary Averies by the bridge to Barge house stairs the landing stages all along the river bank were thronged with boats and to and fro across stream wherries punts barges water craft of every kind were plying busily In middle stream sailboats tugged along with creaking sweeps or brown sailed trading vessels slipped away to sea with costly freight for Russia Turkey and the Levant And amid the countless water craft a multi tude of stately swans swept here and there like snowflakes on the dusky river Nick sniffed at the air for it was full of strange odors the smell of brewer ies of pitchy oakum Norway tar spices from hot countries resinous woods and chilly whiffs from the wa ter and as they came out along the wharf there were brown faced hard eyed sailors there who had been to the New World wild fellows with silver rings in their ears and a swaggering stagger in their petticoated legs Some of them held short crooked brown tubes between their lips and puffed great clouds of pale brown smoke from their noses in a most amazing way Broad beamed Dutchmen too were there and swarthy Spanish renegades with sturdy craftsmen of the city guilds and stalwart yeomen of the guard in the Queens rich livery But ere Nick had fairly begun to stare confused by such a rout Carew had hailed a wherry and they were half way over to the South wark side Lauding amid a deafening din of wa termen bawling hoarsely for a place along the Paris Garden stairs the mas ter player hurried up the lane through the noisy crowd Some were faring afoot into Surrey and some to green St Georges Fields to buy fresh fruit and milk from the farm houses and to picnic on the grass Some turned aside to the Falcon Inn for a bit of cheese and ale and others to the play houses beyond the trees and fishing ponds And coming clown from the inn they met a crowd of players with Master Tom Heywood at their head frolicking and cantering along like so many over grown schoolboys A New Method of Disinfection The Antwerp correspondent of the Liverpool Journal of Commerce says As in all large ports the medical com mission plays a very important and re sponsible part and its duties have been all the more arduous in the last four years since the United States lms demanded such rigid examination of all emigrants their baggage etc In connection with sanitary arrangements and regulations of the port some exper iments of a most interesting character were made -at the St Pierre Hospital in the presence of the Antwerp Medi cal Commission The subject of th experiments was the demonstration of a new and practical mode of disinfec tion and sterilization The means cm ployed consist of a gas obtained by the partial combustion of methylated spir its which while being perfectly inno cent in its effect upon human beings nontoxic and free from all corrosive action is said to possess the property of destroying every trace of bacteria or microbes in the atmosphere of any inclosure The experiments so far have been thoroughly successful If such a system of disinfection can be proved efficacious it will be a blessing tc steamship companies plying between Europe and the United States for in time of contagion of any kind the Uni ted States Government demands fumi gation by sulphur which is a most disagreeable and unprofitable process The question will be studied with a view to adapting it to the disinfection of ships passengers luggage and f a rgo Bad for the Eyes Among the sources of the greatest trouble to the eyesight are the exces sive use of wine spirits or beer and the indiscriminate use of quinine An other source of failing vision may be traced to impeded circulation The wearing of tight neckwear such as col lars which are too small or shirt bands or neckties tightly drawn should be avoided as they prevent the downward column of blood returning to the heart and dilation and development of dis ease is likely to follow The same rule holds good of constriction of otiier parts of the body Movements on Foot Jinks There is a man who has a number of movements on foot for mak ing money Binks Who is he Jinks I dont know his name but hes a dancing teacher New York Ad vertiser Boundless Affection He Sometimes I wonder if you real y love me She As if I hadnt proved it Havenv I called you Dumpsy Darling Well And that is a name which until 1 met 3ou I had held sacred to dear lit tie Fido Cincinnati Enquirer ij Greek and Turk The Turkish soldiers can fight even it they do wear bloomers Boston Globe Greece already has done enough fighting in a week to last Cuba about ten years Chicago Times Herald The valorous Greeks have not given up yet They still have a chance of killing their king Detroit Free Press Osman Pasha will get to the front in time to annex all the glory without any of the danger Pittsburg News Women are arming to fight the Turks and a long sigh of relief is going up throughout the Ottoman Empire Chi cago News Some of the Greeks are evidently de termined to get the better of something even if its only their own government i Chicago Post King Georges way of ruling his turbu lent people is apparently simply to sit back and let them have their own way Buf falo Express A remarkable feature of the recent Greek victories appears to be that the fol lowing day the victors usually retreat Chicago Post If those Cuban correspondents will only stay away from Greece we can kp fairly well informed on the progress of Eastern hostilities Chicago Journal To Col Ab nainid and Kins George Dont worry about food supphed TThe United States has plenty of everything to sell Chicago Times Herald Turkey says Greece started it Greece says Turkey started it but from rhis side of the water it looks as if the powers drop ped the flag for the fighting to begin Baltimore American If those European fighters should ever run short of ammunition they might cre ate havoc by breaking a few chunks off their names and hurling them at the foe Cleveland Leader A cable dispatch from Macedonia says that many of the Greek irregulars lie in hiding during the daytime The corre spondents seem to be lying by day and by night Chicago Times Herald If the Greeks could perform the appar ently mpossible by giving the Turks a terrific lambasting Old Glory should be run to the top of every flagstaff just on general principles Cincinnati Tribune Political Potpourri The Ohio man continues to keep his front feet in the trough Boston Herald The howl of a disappointed politician is about as effective as the challenge of a defeated prize fighter New York Jour nal If the Congressional Record ever starts a sporting department John J Ingalls is the man to run it Cincinnati Commer cial How much better everybody would be if people would think more of their push and less of their pull Harrisburg Star-Independent The new Kentucky Senator has ben doctor lawyer and school teacher That is a hard combination to beat and it leads naturally into politics Baltimore ican iji -Wk We infer from David B Hills remark that later on it is his intention to organ ize an expedition to rescue us from our over governed condition Washington Post The majority of Americans sympathize with Greece just as heartily as does Sen ator Allen but very few of them make such a mighty noise about it Scranton Republican Now that Roger Q Mills has said over his own signature that Senators talk too much we may expect a series of long and excitable speeches in denial of the accusa tion Cincinnati Commercial Tribune Secretary Long is getting ready to sell a few of the old style out-of-date war ves sels of the navy Here is a good chance for some of the ten acre South American republics that are getting ready for an other revolution to supply themselves with craft Savannah News Grants Memorial Chicago got the Worlds Fair but it didnt have the Grant Monument Day Buffalo News Gen Grant belonged to every State in the Union and it was Grant week in all J of them Boston Herald Sir Julian Tauncefote appeared in sim ple citizen dress while visiting New York Once in a while even an Englishman likes to imagine himself a free born son of tho republic New York Commercial Adver tiser Mayor Strong of New York called for the American Hag on Grant Memorial Day the flag everywhere Across every llajc that snapped in the wind that day a grateful nation saw in sunburst radiance Let us have peace Chicago Inter Ocean The Peach Crop If the weather sharps are not watchful the peach crop will get another bump on its solar plexus Pittsburg Times Speculations about the peach crop aro like those about the weather they do not always square with facts Baltimore American Reports from Delaware are worse thars usual It is feared now that the peach crop of 1S98 is entirely destroyed Chi cago Tribune The younpr men who furnish the frost for the Delaware and New Jersey peach crops have worked in their usual amount at space rates Washington Post This and That The voice of the rooter is now in full bloom--Cincinnati Tribune The Philadelphia has been ordered to Hawaii Now Honolulu will you be quiet New York Press The time may come when the phono graph and the magic lantern will be used extensively enough in the church to do away with choir wrangling Chicago Dispatch It is a peculiar coincidence that the man who hates to see his name in the paper is always the one to draw attention to the fact that it is there New Yon Commer cial Advertiser A Kentucky widow has just raffled off a distillery Widow raffle distillery how this combination must have appealed to the gallant and thirsty Kentuckian Buf falo Express- i