iii
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WHAT A HICCOUGH MEANT
To a Gallnnt Young Man It Brought
Title and Lauds
One of tho grandest houses of the
Austrian nobility is indebted for its
princely dignity to u plce of
courtier like loyalty performed by one
of its members during the reign of Em
press Maria Theresa
The august Judy during the midst of
BOine function had had the misfortune
to hiccough in a peculiarly loud and
aggressive manner not altogether in
keeping with the laws of polite society
hbut which in Japan or Oriental
Sies would of course have been re
garded as a piece of lofty breeding
Perceiving that her majesty showed
traces of embarrassment for even em
presses are human a young Austrian
nobleman stepped forward and with
a most clever assumption of intense
mortilication and humility craved her
majestys pardon for his gross breach
of manners
The empress received his apologies
not only graciously but also gratefully
and from that time forth the young
mans fortune was made and before
the empress died he had been promoted
not only to the rank of count but also
to that of prince besides being gener
ously endowed by his imperial bene
factress with means to support his
titles -Boston Herald
g
Hopeless
The doctor and intimate friends con
sidered my case 1 was so weik and ex
hausted I decided to take Hoods Sarsa
parilhi and soon began to improve After
1 ha I fiken ten bottles I was entirely
cured and hae ever since been free from
all ills i culiar to my sex 1 confidently
recommend Hoods Saisaparilla Mus
JI L Laki ilercdosia Illinois
Hoods SarsapariSIa
is the ouI line lootl purifier pronunentU
m the public ee to daj
Hnnrlc Ptilc Iin habitual constipation
iiuim a i ma
ii lu0 j ceuti per b
PHtL N yJ
jv rKVj3asH3tjr at te
ir snemm
mmBm
j r v
ivsrarwi rfJi
I iwil I
C9
that you have
read that Saiita
Claus Soap is
one of the
greatest labor
saving inven
tions of the
time Tell
her that it
will save her
strength save
her time save
her clothes
The merits of
fi
Wv
V V i
i 1K
71
KKOTLEDGE
Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used The many who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more with
less expenditure by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
thenecus of physical being will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy Syrup of Figs
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
ative efiectually cleinsing the system
dispelling colds headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation
It has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession because it acts on the Kid
nejs Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
ery objectionable substance
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in 50c ancTl bottles but it is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Go only whose name is printed on every
package also the name Syrup of Figs
and being well informed you will not
accept any substitute if offered
EACH HAD A WOODEN LEG
A Truthful Story of a Pennsylvania
lien mid JIr Thirteen Chick
I was down in Indiana County ths
other day and stopped at a4 farm house
for diuner says a Pennsylvania gen
tleman whose veracity has never been
questioned After dinner I sar down
on the porch to take a smoke I saw
an old hen hobbling about in a very
awkward way and I said to the farm
ers wife
Madam what is the matter with
that heuV
That hen she said is lame II
has an artificial leg You know there
was some very cold weather last win
ter and one night the hen froze her leg
off I pited her I nursed her and doc
tored her up and she finally got well
But she couldnt walk on one leg Sc
I just stuck a clothes pin on the stump
of her leg tied a string around it to
hold it on and she does very well
with it
Well well I said if that isnt
strange
Yes replied the good lady with
a smile but that isnt the strange part
of it
No
Xo indeed The strange part of it
happened afterward and one would
scarcely believe it if one hadnt seen it
with ones own eyes This spring that
hen with the clothes pin leg wanted to
hatch I didnt think she could Fraid
shed break the eggs with her stump
But I kind o pitied her cause she was
a cripple and I put thirteen eggs under
her She stuck right to her business
for three weeks and never broke an
egg hatched out every chicken
Well I said that was not so re
markable
Xo replied the woman that was
not so very odd but that Isnt it Tho
funny part of it was that every one of
those little chickens had a woodei
leg
Little Delawares Claim
Delaware not only wants a battle ship
named for her but she wants the larg
est one of the whole fleet and she bases
her claim upon services rendered to the
United States from the time of the revo
lution says a resident of that State
Delaware claims tiie honor because the
first battle under the American flag was
fought on Delaware soil because the
vote of Caesar Rodney made possible
the Declaration of Independence and
because Delaware was the first State
to adopt the Constitution of the United
States If these arguments are not con
sidered sullicient Delaware can search
her record a little and find some other
reason
A Church oi Iron
A curious church Is being built In
Constantinople The ground owned by
the Bulgarian congregation of that
city upon which they propose to erect
the structure has been found unsuited
for the erection of a church of the
usual materials The architect in Con
stantinople has secured the acceptance
of his plans for an iron church weigh
ing about 1000000 pounds and to cost
HS0UU0 francs This includes all costs
of transportation and erectiouas well
as the material
False Witnesses
There are knaves now and then mot with
who represent certain local hitters nnd poi
Mnoim stimuli is identical with or posses
sing properties akin to those of Hostellers
Stomach Hitters These scamps only suc
ceed in foisting their trashy compound upon
people unacquainted with the genuine ar
ticle which is as much their opposite as day
is to night Ask and take no substitute
for the grand remedy foe malaria dy pepsia
constipation rheumatism and kidney trouble
C istle Hill Me lias three citiens
brothers named All e Klihtt nil Ehlad
Frank whose combined height is exactly
t wen l -one fett
Hows This
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case of catarrh that cannot bo cuied by
taking Halls fJutnrrh Cure
F 1 CHEXKY CO Props Toledo O
Wo tho underpinned have known P T Cheney
for the last fifteen years and beliovo liini per
foctlj honorable in all business tiansactions
and financially able to carry out any obligations
mado by their linn
WostTruax Wholesale Drupgista Toledo O
Walding Kinnan Marvin Vholo3al0 Drug
gists Toledo Ohio
Hall s Catarrh Cure is taken internally acting
diioctly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of
the Bvstcui Piico 7oc per bottle Sold by all
Druseists
Mr Gladstone is still the champion 1 n
tal card writer consuming over 4000 cards
per year
Mtb TFlnslows Roothtko Stbup lor Children
soitens ttic riiiiis i enuces inflammation
ll n s un cure wind cohc 25 rents a bottle
l9e3feeco939eee
Is a prize fighter and champion in every contest with
It knocks out in every roundand on its belt is written
-1 CURE7 2
3ssGe8e9399SedtsfteMe9
eS883e S63SS8
9
S9xh w
S i 1 1 1 WW 1 S r fhs i
TA CLAUS
1
SOAP
appeal at once to every thoughtful woman Its the best purest and
most economical Soap to be procured Sold everywhere Made only by
The N K Fairbank Company - Chicago
lftS66S3W
eddS31
A SINGULAR FEUD
BrothcrA Who Fell Out About a Matri
monial Arrangement
The queerest feud I ever heard of
said M C Alien the well known sports
man is one that 1 encountered while
hunting in southern Humboldt Coun
ty I noticed our guide carried a re
peating rifle a big revolver and a
knife half as long as his leg He pro
ceeded with the greatest caution and
appeared to be on guard continually
I knew there were no hostile Indians
in that country and my curiosity was
aroused Finally I asked him what
the trouble was
Oh I yoost look out for some fel
law he replied in his Swedish dia
lect
Whats the trouble anyway V I in
quired
Oh nutin much Maybe a pig man
mit a goon watch me pretty close too
Who is her
Oh he is my brudder Las time I
fix him plenty you bet lie come back
now und maybe he fix me
Inquiry developed the fact that the
brothers had settled in Humboldt some
years ago and our guide who was
married had left a pretty sister-in-law
in Sweden The brothers talked the
matter over and finally agreed that the
married one should send for the girl
and when she reached this country he
would give his old wife to his brother
and take his sister-in-law
The girl arrived in due time but she
was so much prettier than the unmar
ried brother had expected that he was
loath to accept his brothers cast off
wife Finally he married the girl and
then refused to compromise the breach
of contract by paying what his brother
had expended in getting her to this
coast A quarrel followed and the
guide pinked his brother in the shoul
der with a rifle ball and landed him in
the hospital for three months The
other vowed vengeance and they do
little now but watch the mountain
trails fully prepared to renew hostili
ties at a seconds notice San Fran
cisco Post
A Remarkable Vendetta
Did you ever hear of a strong able
bodied man going crazy from grief V
asked Capt Debney of the steamship
City of Puebla on the water front yes
terdny I dont mean one of your
highly sensitive creatures he contin
ued but a man six feet four inches
in his stockings and as strong as an ox
Of such a man I heard during ray last
trip to the Sound He is a Russian
Finn and is sensible on every subject
save one He has a vendetta against
the walrus and his cabin in the wilds
of Alaska is built up with their skulls
According to the story told me by a
passenger who came down with me
from the Sound this man settled in
Alaska years ago He married a na
rive woman and she bore him a son
A few years later the mother died and
all the affection of the half savage
father centered on the son Nothing
was too good for the lad and every
thing in the way of hunting and fishing
lore was taught him
When the boy was old enough his
fatiher took him out on all his hunting
expeditions and soon the yougster be
gan working on his own account
One fatal day he attacked an old
bull walrus but instead of killing it he
himself was the victim When tho
father saw the dead body of his son he
was wild with grief which finally set
tled into a species of madness Now
all he lives for is to kill walrus
When the mania first seized him he
lived in i dugout Now his hut is on
tho ground and composed entirely ot
walrus skulls
lie crawls up behind the brutes
while they are asleep and seizing them
by the iusks stands them on end by
main force He looks into their eyes
as though seeking to recognize the ono
that killed his son and then his knife
does the rest The head is then cut off
and goes to make one more to the mon
ument he is raising to the memory of
his son San Francisco Call
Rulus Choates Joke in Court
There was a recent legal decision in
which the Supreme Court of Minnesota
solemnly declares that you need not
employ a drunkard for locomotive engi
neer This recalls a story of a former
distinguished chief justice of Massa
chusetts Rufus Choate in reading a
long deposition in court several times
said sheeting where the manuscript
read shirting The Judge corrected
him but the blunder was repeated nnd
becoming impatient the Judge growled
out spells shirt Mr
Ohoate
Yes yes your Honor said Choate
but it did not require a decision of the
Supreme Court to establish the fact
To Storgize
A new word has come out of Englann
It is storgize which appears in a
London paper To storgize we are
informed is to indulge in laudable ma
ternal affections excessively and out of
due place and season The British
mamma has been storgizing in the
presence of an editor who could only
find relief from the boredom of hearing
anecdotes of a bright 3-year-old of wit
nessing the letting loose of a juvenile
torment upon an unoffending party by
Inventing the word The anxious trans
atlantic world is now waiting to learn
whether the g is hard or soft Bos
ton Evening Transcript
Women Prompters Preferred
Women prompters have been tried at
Covert Garden theater with success as
it has been found that their voices
carry better across the stage and are
less audible in the audience
When a man manages an amateur
show or has a baby at his house he
says Well its the last one
- eur
a
Highest of all in Leavening Power Latest U S Govt Report
3NnKfet E EaTHi i
Origin of Tommy Atkins
Did 3Oti ever hear an explanation 01
the origin of the term Tommy Atkins
as applied to all British soldiers It
originated in this way About forty
years ago the Queen caused a little
ledger to be published and distributed
to every individual in her army and
navy In this book the soldier was ex
pected to enter his name age date of
enlistment length of service descrip
tion of medals received etc In the
back of the ledger by way of instruc
tion a filled out leaf was inserted The
name used in the blank was Thomas
Atkins just as we use the name John
Doe and Richard Roe in legal pat
terns Soon after some wag gave the
name of Tommy Atkins to the book
nnd it has since become common to ap
ply it to the soldiers themselves
A Whole City in Pawn
Formerly it was not uncommon for
kings and nobles to pawn a part of
their territory But Wisrnar in the
grand duchy of
on the Baltic Sea probably enjoys
the distinction of being the only city
in Europe remaining so pawned to this
day Wis mar has a population of 15-
000 and belonged to Sweden since 1G48 I
In 1S03 Sweden pawned it to the Grand
Duke of Mecklenburg for 1258000
Hamburg thalers to be redeemed in
1903 One hundred years interest at 3
per cent will have swelled the amount
due in 1903 to 27000000
FITS A11 Fitsstopped f 1 ee by Dr Kllueh Gi oat
Norve Kostoror No Fitr after Hnt days use Mar
velous cures Treatise and ifcJOO trial bottle tree to
FiteaseB Send to Dr Klino031 Arch St lhilaPa
0
Notable Series
The Lord Chief Justice of Eng
land and Judge Oliver Wendell
Holmes have contributed articles
of national importance together
with those by Hon Thomas B
Reed and Justin McCarthy M P
50 ct
CALENDAR
I I I i P
WJWEZ PUBE
Something Like an Apolony
Germans are not given to doing things
by halves When they study they do it
with thoroughness Even in ther apol
ogies they go to the root of the matter
Here for example is a card publish
ed by a tailor in the agony column of
a Berlin newspaper Evidently he be
lieves that an open confession Is good
for the body as well as for the soul
T herewith declare that the journey
man blacksmith Herr Karl X is a
very honorable man most honorable
and I take this opportunity of wtb
drawing the most defamatory charge
I made against him Herr Karl X has
already given me a good thrashing for
the said slanderous words but Herr
Schiedemanu informs me that Herr
Karl X will not do so again if I state
in a public newspaper that he is an
honorable man and put a thaler in the
poor box
Pillsbury the champion clies player of
the world is an inveterate smoker of
green cigars and during one game lie
will consume six or seven
Asthmatic troubles and soreness of the
Lungs or Throat are usually overcome by
Dr D Jaynes Expectorant a sure cura
tive for Colds
The Czar of Russia has founded a fund
of 230000 for aged or sick journalists and
widows of journalists
Pisos Cure for Consumption cured a
case of Pneumonia after the family doc
tor gave up all hope M F MeDowes
Conowingo Md
J Addison Addicks has been black
b died by the Denver Historical Society
KSMARXABIB OFFER 5
Hew Subscribers who will cut ont this slip and send it AT 0HCE
9
The great success of the chocolate preparations of
the house of Walter Baker Co established
I 111
III l
in 1780 has led to the placing on the market
many misleading and unscrupulous imitations
of their name labels and wrappers Walter
Baker Co are the oldest and largest manu
facturers of pure and high grade Cocoas and
Chocolates on this continent No chemicals are
used in their manufactures
Consumers should ask for and be sure that
they get the genuine Walter Baker Cos goods
WALTER BAKER CO Limited
DORCHESTER MASS
nothing
lost
Scotts Emulsion makes cod liver oil taking next
thing to a pleasure You hardly taste it The stom
ach knows nothing about it it does not trouble you
Liieie x on leei it nrst m tne strength that it brings
it shows m the color of the cheek the rounding of the
angles the smoothing of the wrinkles
m It is cod liver oil digested for you slipping as easily
into the blood and losing itself there as rain drops lose
themselves in the ocean
What a satisfactory thing this is to hide the odious
taste of cod liver oil evade the tax on the stomach
take health by surprise
There is nosecret of what it is made of the fish fat
taste is lost but nothing is lost but the taste
hJt ffif7 S V f stbsm fr ScoUs Emulsion
Isn t tic standard all others
try to equal ibc best for you to buy
50 cents and o AII Dni2gIst3
SCOTT BOVNE
Chemists
- New York
BEST I TiTE 770K1
IMA
figfejBrSiiS
ov CkxYabw auCi ox
t CSTkXTeS Uc TOf fcVA -
4 am v xuj umwa
rWeovp
gc5 LABOR p
THE RISING SUN
STOVE POLISH la
cakes for general
blackiug of a stove
THE SUN PASTB
POLISH for a auick
dinner shine
applied and pol
Ufaed with a cloth
I Clorne Bros ProDi Uantoo Maaa US A
C Worlds Fair t HIGHEST AWARD 2
k2Ti
i 7 ft jTTVw A ff 1 HT z
jyXtJLviClAl
isfKANUM
I Always WINS HOSTS ofj
s EMENDS wherever itss
I Superior Merits become
S known It is the Safest
j FOOD for Convalescents
2 Sold by DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE
John Carle Sons Nev York 3
1TLV AEnSIOTOr CO Coo Iialf tlw orld 3
v ic Kill biicccs Lecsuro 15 liis reduced U10 cost of
1 praox to I G what ltwa s Is lias ninny branch
i s supiuii9 ita eikxjs aim repairs
ia ill Yoiiriiuur il imix aim iimra iurui3i a
evi it crsr
AmJT sj Trzr
it
Tgy Ll SfArTl
uencr articlo lur le3 money than
otoers It makes luuislnir and
Uerred Steel
Completion Windmills Tiltlns
and JFIsed Steel Towers Steel Buzz Saw
frames Steel Foed Cutters and Feed
Grinders On application It wilt nanto ono
uf tilt so articles that It wUl furnish untU
J an nary 1st at 1 y tho usual pricet It also makes
Tanks and Ilimpjor all kinds Send for catalogue
Fcctory 12tb Rcckwcll end Fillmore Sfreets Cnlcaxa
SOUTH uiccniiDi
west mioouum
For all the Family
Profusely Illustrated
Bead Every Week in
more than Half a
Million Homos
The Volume of The Companion for 1896 the 70th year of its publication will give weekly entertainment
and instruction in abundance for every member of the family
Serial Stories Cabinet Ministers
Four Fascinating Serial Stories
have been selected from the large
number offered with the following
titles The Ventriloquist In the
Clutch of the Tsar Rosamonds
Violin and In Indian Meadow
Popular articles on subjects of
unusual interest are written -by
Hon Eoke Smith Secy of tha Inte
rior Hon H A Herbert Secy of
the Wavy Hon J Sterling Morton
Secy of Agriculture
More than 200 Famous Men and Women have contributed to the next Volume of The Companion
Send for Full Illustrated Prospectus and Sample Copies Free
U i JKn
m
SEND
with name and address and 5l73i win receive i sa4
FREE The Youths Companion every week till Jannary 1 1896 -- 1S Slip WltH
FREE Thanksgiving Christmas Hew Years Double Unmbers 5 ra
-d psn
FREE Our Handsome 4 pae Calendar 7x10 inches litho- g K S
graphed in nine colors Retail price 50 cents 4 M 9 Jt
3 AHD THE COMPAHIOH 52 weeks a full year to January 1 1897
rfrTXxtftfrfruBitftfJ
THE YOUTHS COMPANION 201 Columbus Avenue Boston Mass
IOP
The More You Say the Less
People Remember One
Word With You
TiTii gJ f3 mHL 4 sMStJw
SSS3S3
HrnHMntanHH
Timely Warnin
1
Tho best fruit section In tho West No
drouths A failure of crops never known
Mild climate Productive soil Auundnnce of
go d pure v ptor
For Maps ana Circulars civing full descrip
tion of the rich Mineral Fruit ana Agricultu
ral lands in Southwest Missouri wrlto to
joiixai IUKDY managor ot tho Missouri
Land and Llvo Stock Company Neo3lio New
ton Co Missouri
Come3 Every Week
Mrs Seronah freug of -1728
MeGee street Kansas City Mo
tinder date of June 19 1S05 states
I have been ill with dyspepsia and
indigestion for about seven years
without permanent relief until I
finally tried Ripans Tabules After
using a box of them I can eat
anything without auy unpleasant
effect and am gaining strength
and think I am permanently cured
and think It my duty to give this
testimony hoping that some one
suffering from the same cause may
be benefited by using thein
Kipaiis Tabules are Eod by druggists cr bj mall IC
lic price 00 cents a tox is sent to Tho Ptpaas Chemi
cal Company No 10 spruce Street Kctv Yor Sample
vial 10 ccuts
PAYS FOR aVvffi
HHjit 4 riuKJi
II lfllilh L rrdi
paiWM ill JiiiiioN
KiiarariiffU circn
Isilmu
Iir llJlfi Initnwf
r TIMKb in 1 iro conn
try papers for
MJ FOU CATALOGUE
Clilcaero Newspaper XJriloji
13 Soutu JiiIersuuStrbut Cbicnco liu
rrHiviA
C POPHABTS ASTHMA SPECIFIC
Glvcsrclif in F1TB mlnnte3 Send
ttoraFUKEtrial oackae Sold by
LrnKiit One Ijx sent postpaid
on receipt or SI TO HIx im zr zuv
JAddrcTHDS lUPlUX rUIU VX
JOHN WITIOKRIS
T f
Siirpoccfnllu Drncaniitoc lirve
jB Laro Principal Examiner US Pension Bureau
C 3rsulait Avar 15aijudii3tLui claims attyamce
S5Vl
48 93
fe I iaKSWHttttti ELSE TP
fe5 Best Cooeh Syrup iaatcs Good Use W
5 in time gold by clroKBlsSs
VI