DICK IN A CROWD
When a certain mild-mannered
Representative from a Middle
Western State went to Congress,
he left behind a body of consti
tuents who fancied that great
personal benefits would come to
them through their powerful
statesman. A farmer with piliti
eal designs followed the great
mail to Washington.
“Well, Tom,” a friend asked
him on his return, “did you see
Washington and Dick Blank, and
did you get what you went
after?*’
“Yes, 1 seen Washington, and
l seen Dick Blank,” he replied,
“but Dick couldn’t do nuthin’
for me. lie was havin’ a hard
time to keep from gittin’ tromp
ed on hisself.’’—[From “Success
Magazine.”!
_
A MAN WITHOUT A FUTURE
'he employer hires young peo
ple, says Oj.mii Swett Harden
in “Success Hhgazine," just as
they buy young horses instead
of old ones, because there in
more future in them.
The fact is that men who are
beginning to show their age are
often their own worst enemies.
They admit their defeat, and yet
are surprised that employers
think as they do.
There is nothing so utterly
disheartening as hopelessness. If
a man in the vigor of his strength
loses his position, his business,
his property, he still has hope,
confidence that he can get on
his feet again at some time. But
when an old person loses proper
ty and position the chances are
comparatively small of his ever
getting on his feet again, or even
into a position of comparative
ease and comfort, unless he po
sesses courage and grit.
1 believe that such a position
is even harder for a man than
for a woman, because a man out
of a position without prospects
does not know what to do with
himself. He is much more help
less than a woman who can
work in most anywhere in a
household, who can generally
find some kind of work even
though she gets very small com
pensation. She does not have
that feeling of utter hopelessness
and helplessness which the un
employed old man feels, especial
ly a man who has led an aetice,
strenuous life.
I always feel pained when I
see these unfortunate men in ci
ties carrying advertisements on
their backs, or doing menial
work, when by ability and educa
tion they were naturally fitted
for much better things. For gray
hairs to be begging bread, to be
looking in vain for a situation,
to be wandering homeless, friend
less in old age, is certainly piti
ful.
A doctor came to a patient in
an insane asylum, slapped him
on the back and said: “Well, old
man, you’re all right. You can
run along and write your folks
that you will he back home in
two weeks as good as new.’’
The patient went off gaily to
wrrite his letter, lie had it fi
nished and sealed, but when he
was licking the stamp it fell
through his fingers to the floor,
lighted on the back of a cock
roach that was passing and
stuck. The patient hadn't seen
the cockroach—what he did see
was his escaped postage stamp
zigzagging aimlessly across the
floor to the baseboard, and fol
lowing a crooked track up the
wall and across the ceiling, in
depressed silence he tore up the
letter he had written and dropp
ed the pieces on the floor. “Two
weeks! II—1!’’ he said, “I
won’t he out of here in . three
years.”
Tommy’s essay on ducks —
“The duck is a low heavy-set
bird, composed mostly of meat
and feathers. lie is a mighty
poor singer, having a hoarse
voice, caused by getting so many
frogs in bis neck. lie likes the
water and carries a toy balloon
in liis stomach to keep ,hh),. from
sinking. The duck lias only two
legs and they are set so far oack
on his running gears by nature
that they come pretty near misvs
ing his body. Sortie ducks when
they get big have curls on their
tails and are called drakes.
Drakes don’t have to set or
hatch but just loaf and go
swimming and eat everything in
sight. If I bad to be a duel; I
would rather be a drake and bnaf
around like a politician.”—Ex.
“You must not rook the baby
at all,” says the grave physician.
“But I think an old fashioned
cradle is so cunning, and besides
the gentle motion gets the baby
to go to sleep without crying
for an hour,” says the young
mother.
“Yes, but that rocking motion
is very injurious upon the child’s
brain. The constant swaying
really damages its mind.”
“Doctor?”
“Yes, madam.”
“When you were a little baby
they still used cradles, didn’t
they?”
“Certainly. That was before
science liad determ ined so many
of the-”
“ Wel-1-1-1! ”—Life.
Bacon—You don't mean to say
that Smith made a fortune on
the turf?
Macon—That’s what lie did;
bought a farm and cut it up in
to surburban building lots.— Ex.
“A good wife is heaven’s great
est gift to man and the rarest
gem the earth holds,” remarked
.Mr. Jarpldy the other morning.
“She is his joy, his inspiration
and his very soul. Through her
he learns to reach the pure and
true, and her loving hands lead
him softly over the rough pla
ces. She is—”
“Jeremiah,” said Mrs. Jarph
ly, solemnly, Jeremiah, what
wickedness have you been up to
now?”—Truth.
A printer onee got to milch
wedding wine (choke cherry),
and in setting up an account of
the wedding he got it sadly mix
ed with copy for a sale hill and
this is the way it appeared: Win.
Smith, the only son of Mr. and
.Mrs. Josiali Smith, was disposed
of at public auction to Lucy
Anderson, daughter of Mr. and
Mrs. Samuel Anderson, at my
farm one mile east of town in
the, presence of seventy guests,
including the following to-wit:
Seven mules, twelve head.of cat
tle, Rev. Jackson tied the nup
tial knot averaging 1,250 on the
hoof. The beautiful home was
tastefully decorated with a Black
Hawk corn planter, one sulky
hay rake, one feed grinder, one
set double harness, nearly new,
and just before the ceremony
was pronounced, Mendelsohn’s in
spiring march was softly render
ed by one milch cow, five years
old, carrying a bunch of flowers
on her head, and looked charm
ing in a gown of light spring
wagon, six shocks of corn, three
stacks of hay, one grind stone,
Mousseline de Soie trimmed with
about H>0 bushels of wheat.
Among the beautiful gifts were:
2 sets of silver knives and forks,
one steam riding plow, one wheel
barrow, go-cart, bob-sled and
many other articles too numer
ous to mention.
Unappreciated
The attorneys for the prosecu
tion and defense liab been allow
ed fifteen minutes each to argue
the case. The attorney for the
defense had commenced his ar
gument with an allusion to the
old swimming hole of his boy
hood days, lie told in flowery
oratory of the balmy air, the sing
ing birds, the joy of youth, the
delights of the cool water
And in the midst of it he was
interrupted by the drawling voice
of the judge.
“Come out, Chauncey,’’ he
said, “and put on your clothes.
Your fifteen minutes are up.
[From “Success Magazine."]
You are not misunderstood as
often as you think you are,*
RULO
J. C. Richards of Falls City
was a Rulo visitor last Thursday
Ike Adkins of Missouri was ;
Rulo visitor Thursday.
F. W. Martinosky and family
visited with relatives in Ruh
the last of the week.
Steve and Ruby Baker of Sa
lem visited with relatives in Ru
lo several days last week.
Frank Vanraulkinburg made
trip to St. Joseph the first of tin
week.
Agnes Schrader of l’restoi
spent Saturday and Sunday wit 1
home folks.
Mr. and Mrs. Con. Horan visit
ed with their son Phil in this
city last week.
Alva Clark left Sunday morn
ing for Kansas City where lie
lias secured work for the sum
mer.
George Selcy spent several
days in Kansas last week.
The steamboat Arthursia has
been making trips between Far
go and White Cloud, the past
two weeks.
Si Bunker of Missouri was a
Kulo visitor last week.
F. E. Kulp of Wymore was a
Kulo business visitor the first, of
the week.
The Oklahoma Indians played
the Kulo team Saturday. Score
9 to 90 in favor of the Indians.
Loy Packet! and family of
White Cloud were the guests of
his brother Elias of Kulo, Sun
day.
District Superintendent Embrce
ef Lincoln preached at the M. E.
church last Sunday evening.
Misses Louise and Tracy San
to returned to their home in St.
Joseph the first of the week, af
ter a two weeks visit with their
sister. Mrs. Charles Caverzagic of
this city.
James Tagney was a business
visitor to Preston last" week.
Wayde Hawkins returned Sat
urday from a visit with his par
ents at Washington, Kansas.
Scott, Kystrome of York was
the guest of Miss Alta Gilbert,
the first of the week.
. Theodore Anderson was a Falls
City visitor last Friday.
Mrs. JJ. A. Hinkle and son
Talbut went to St. Joseph to pur
chase a line of summer goods,
Wednesday.
Frank Blaine of Highland was
a Kulo visitor recently.
Horace Miller of Filley return
ed to his home the first of the
week, after a visit with his par
ents in this city.
Will Hinton of Falls City was
a Kulo business visitor the first
of the week.
Earl Shepherd of St. Joseph is
spending the week with his par-j
cuts.
Herman Kleopfel anil family
of Monta Vista, Colorado, came
last week for a visit with rela
tives and old friends.
,J. W. Santo returned Wednes
day from a visit with relatives
at Gandy, Nebr.
Mrs. L. M. Jones returned
Sunday from a visit with rela
tives at St. Joseph.
Mrs. Mary Murphy, wife of
Louis Murphy of Preston, was
buried from the Catholic church
last Tuesday.
Harry Marsh started up his
saw mill the first of the week,
with Milton Zimmerinann as
sawyer.
While returning from Falls
City Friday evening, the team
which John Mahon and Tom
Whalen were driving, became
frightened at an automobile and
ran away, tearing the buggy to
pieces. The boys were thrown
out but neither was seriously in
jured.
Frank Cooper of Missouri was
a Pulo visitor the first of the
week.
Charlie Cessna of White Cloud
was a Ttulo visitor Sunday.
Enoch Zeigler was a Falls Ci
ty visitor Thursday.
Essie Mars spent Sunday with
her parents in this city.
Frank and Clem Coghil] caught
a pelican in the Missouri river
[Saturday, which measured over
seven feet, in length,
Alice Gilbert left Monday for
a visit with her sister, Mrs. Mary
Meyers at Vermilion, South Da
kota.
Rev. J. L. I’iekett is confined
to the house with an attack of
tlie mumps.
Lee McVey made a short visit
> w
with relatives in St. Joseph the
j first part of the week.
Kate Young visited with rela
j lives in Salem last week.
Dan Ratekin was a Falls City
visitor last Friday.
August Johnson and paint
gang left for Atchison Saturday
morning to work.
John MoCloalan came in from
tin' West Thursday.
Alice and Alta Gilbert were
Falls Sity visitors last Saturday.
Little Howard Hart of St.
Joseph is visiting with relatives
in llulo.
Frank Dcmpsy of Preston was
down on his new motorcycle
Monday morning.
John Dunn was called to Mis
souri Monday morning to preach
a funeral sermon.
Charlie and Jim Ilodge with
their families left for Fairbury
Monday to make their future
home at that place.
Norman Kenmode left Monday
evening as a delegate to the A.
O. U. TV. Grand Lodge at Lin
coln.
SPEISER NOTES
I
Mr. and Mrs. Ed. TJliri visited
Sunday with their daughter Mrs.
Ralph Tjadcn.
Mr. Fred Schuler and family
spend Sunday with Fred Wisseler
and family near Du Bois.
Mrs. John Eis who lias been
confined to her bed for several
months with rheumatism, is able
to be up and around again.
Misses Ester Friekc and Hazel
Gravatt of Humboldt spend Fri
day night and Saturday with
their friend Miss Sophia.
Messers Roy and Glen Lelin
herr, Roby Voeller, Fred ltcx
rofli and Miss Edith Barker spent
Sunday afternoon with their
friend Miss Clara Rcxrotli.
Mr. Will Kauffman of Bern,
Kansas, and Arnold Selmetz went
to Shubert on business one day
last week in the former’s auto.
Mrs. Will Wissler is quite sick
at, her home, Dr. Waggoner of
Humboldt was called to aid her.
Alfred Bucher and sister Loui
sa and Joe Eis and sister So
phia, went to Sycamore Springs
Sunday in the former’s auto.
Quite a number from this com
munity attended the first band
concert of the season in Hum
boldt, Saturday night.
BASE BALL
PARAGRAPHS
Manager Forester lias a real
inn! job on band, lie lias more
than enough players at hand to
select a good team from. From
this number lie is to select our
regular team. He lias ten
pitchers working out every day,
of which lie will keep but four.
He lias six outfielders of which
he will keep three, and so on in
every position.
Friday afternoon, May 12th.
the Peru Normal Team which has
been defeating most every team
it has played against this year,
will play our team at the park.
Our outfield certainly looks
good tliis year, .100 per cent bet
ter than last. With Steno, Trai
ner, Mowry, Drumm and Black
to chase flies for us, nothing fur
ther can be wished for in the
outfield.
Steno is surely a whirlwind in
running the bases, lie is good
for a run nine times out of ten
if he gets on first base. In the
game with the Indians on Thurs
day he stole his way on the bases
four times.
Outfielder Drumm played with
the Atchison team last year and
had a batting average of .469
while with that team. lie is
known at “Home run Drumm”
and be hits the ball every time
' he eoiues to hat.
Outfielder Mowry hails from
Geneva, Nebr., and was sent to
us by Tom Palmer as a great
find. He surely looks good so
lar, and no doubt will make good.
Homer Plaek, the wonder from
Joplin, Mo., is as good n eateher
ns an outfielder, and will prob
ably be used ns utility man dur
ing the season.
It looks good to sec the old
infield again on the team; with
the addition of manager Forester
on first, our infield is unsur
passed.
The fans are very much pleas
ed to see McNeill hack on third
base, he has no equal in that
position in the League. McNeill
belonged to the St. doe Western
League team, and the manage
ment despaired of securing his
release, and had already signed
another third baseman to take
his place. At the last moment,
however, McNeill was secured,
much 1o the delight of the fans.
A fan said on the street today:
‘‘1 have been watching our new
team work out, and they are
twice as good ns our last years
team. I have made up my mind
that the team that wins the pen
nant this year must beat our
team.”
WESTERN LEAGUE
BASEBALL DOPE.
Lincoln will piny at home on th
following dates:
With Des Moines May 12, Id,
14.
With Si. Joe.—May 15, Hi, 17.
With Sious City—May 1!), 20,
21.
Sioux City seems to lie .jump
ing along at a lively rate, hut
has yet to meet some of the
stronger clubs of the league, and
the story may be different when
she does so.
Jake Wolverton, the southpaw
artist of the Lincoln club who
shut out Denver in both games
he pitched against that club, has
drawn the attention of the scouts
of the larger leagues and already
an offer has been mnde by Kan
sas City for him. Possibly before
this is printed he may be wear
ing a K. C. uniform.
The class of games being put
up by the Lincoln Antelopes has
attracted a large number of Lin
coln visitors during the time the
club has been playing at homo
and it has been the universal
opinion of out-of-town fans who
hvea seen the hunt'll m action
that it is wortli going a long
way to see the inside work done
by the players under the manage
ment of Mr. Unglauh. In pay
ing the fancy price ho did for
Unglauh’s release. President Des
pain heat the record, but it looks
like a mighty good deal. Several
of the players have made the
remark that they thought they
knew baseball before, but “Bob”
has been able to show them tricks
cf the trade they little thought
of. The ginger can of the Lin
coln manager is always running
over and it is noticeable by all
who see the club in action.
The Lincoln pitching staff has
not yet got into good shape.
Fox, Wolverton and Knapp seem
to he the only one able as yet
to deliver the goods. The cold
weather of this spring has not
been such that pitchers who arc
generally called “warm weather
flingers,” could get much satis
faction out of the spring train
ing. To date the above trio has
done the bulk of the work and
with pretty good success. As
soon as Hagerman, Applegate,
Farthing and Smith can deliver
in their usual style, there will
be something doing in Lincoln
town.
BROKEN BOW AFTER NEW
AGRICULTURAL COLLEGE.
The last legislature appropriat
cd $100,000 for an agricultural
school to be located in southwest
Nebraska. Broken Bow lies with
in the territory, and the people
of that town are making a stren
uous effort to have the school
If You Are
CURABLE
We Can Cure
YOU
Fill and mail this blank for free
fdvlce.
»
All Statements Strictly Confidential
!. Heart.Circulation.
?. Lungs.. .. Consumption.
Any cough.Spitting.
3 •Stomach Appetite.
Pain.Gns.
4. Kidney^: Backache.
How long.
5. Liver: Bilious,.. ..Gall stones....
Pain in right side.
C. Bowels: Regular.Loose.
Costive.. ..Move how often.
7. Bladder: Pain.Burning.. ..
8 Skin: Eruption.Itching.
t’ Blood: Syphilis.Gloot.
I. 0 Nerves: General Debility.. - .. ..
II. Urln: Color.. .. Any Sediment..
12. Rheumatism: Where.
13. Cancer: Location.
14. Goiter: Size.
15. Rupture: Locntlon.
16. Varlceocle: Location.
17. Piles: Bleeding.. ..Itching.
81. Catarrh: Nasal.Throat.. ..
10. Sexual Weakness... .Duration....
20. FOR WOMEN: How many clilldre
21. Menses: Scant, or Profust).
Regular.Painful.
22. Ovaries: Pains.
23. Leuchorren: Thick.. ..Thin.. ..
24 Womb: Any displacement.
25. Female Weakness: How many yr»
20. Ever had Urine Tested.
27. Ever Had X-Ray Examination.. ..
28. Ever use Electricity.
23. Can you visit us of Necessary.,..
Answer above <|ucbUoiih briefly.
To give more details use separate
paper and refer to number of ques
tion.
Name.
Address..
HOME OFFICE
German Doctors
MAIN AND BROADWAY
Council Bluffs, Iowa
muted there. In our opinion,
Hi’okcn How is better located
hail most, cilies in that pnrt of
lie state, and the committee
•oitld do a whole lot worse than
0 place the college there. Bro
om Bow is a growing, widc
swake western town, with plenty
<f local pride, and is located in
1 county that mode wonderful
ifogrcNs during the past, ten
fears. We heartily second her
I'forts to secure the school.
Shubert News Items.
Shubcrt, Neb,, May 8.—“The
freshman,” the Shubcrt senior
lass play, was given to a crowd
'd house at Nemaha.
The High school team defeated
lie Nemalias in a close game by
r to r>. Harry Williams started
■he scoring for the locals.
L. (’. Obcrlies of Lincoln,
>tatc superintendent of Christian
■hurdles, spoke here Sunday
notming and qvening.
A schoolmaster had .just finish
ed a lesson on “Pood” when a
little hoy put up his hand. On
being asked what lie wauled he
replied :
“ Please, sir, .Jones said he
knew a baby that was brought up
on elephant's milk, and it gained
ten pounds in weight every day.”
“Jones ought not to tell you
such rubbish,” said the master.
Then, addressing Jones, lie add
ed, “Tell me whose baby was
brought up on elephant’s milk?”
To which .Tones hesitatingly re
plied: “Please, sir, Tt was the
elephant’s baby.” —Tit-Bits.
RUNAWAY.
From Tuesday’s Daily.
A. P. Scott had a runaway yes
terday which fortunately did no
special damage. He had driven
out to tltc graveyard, and left
the colt there. The horse did
not want to come home without
her colt and bolted, throwing Air.
Seott out of the buggy and drag
ging him a hundred yards or so.
He was not injured beyond a
few scratches, and may consider
himself lucky to have escaped
so easily.
Nothing makes a man feel
more uncomfortable than to fyp
unjust to a friend,
