USE GRIMSBY’S PIPE
ENTIRE OFFICE FORCE SMOKES
WITH THAT GENTLEMAN.
Mr. Phlimstack Explains IVIethod by
Which Living Expenses Have Been
Materially Reduced Without
Losing Enjoyment of Tobacco.
"Stated as a general proposition,”
said Mr. Phlimstack, "1 don’t like a
strong pipe. I have always regarded
a man who smoked a rank, evil-smell
ing pipe as an enemy of society. But
the wind that blows roofs ashore
speeds the sailor, and often If we will
but wait what had once seemed an
affliction may evolve Itself into a
blessing. It may be so even with a
strong pipe.
"There's my friend Grimsby, who
works in the same office with me.
When Grimsby came in and sat down
at his desk and calmly lighted that
pipe and smoked away I wanted to
flee, or at least to open all the win
dows. There is about that pipe a
piercing pungency, an acid acridity, a
general all around odoriferousness
that I should hesitate duly to describe.
It is all the strong pipes I ever knew'
boiled Into one, and Grimsby sits there
and calmly smokes it, never thinking
of doing any harm, but with every evi
dence of serene enjoyment, while all
the rest of us strangle.
"But now see how even such a pipe
bh this may be turned into a benefit, a
boon. I suppose you have read iu the
papers all about the increased cost of
living; how everything has gone up,
and that sort of thing; and to be sure
this has hit me along with the rest,
and where I live we’ve had to do some
pretty tall figuring, cutting down and
cutting down, to make both ends meet.
Situated as I am, it takes a good deal
of a financial mathematician to do
this.
“You can’t very well, for instance,
shorten the clothes of growing chil
dren, nor give them less to eat when
what they want is more, but we’ve fig
ured and figured and caryed and
carved and carved, and finally we got
things down so that our accounts
would balance at the end of the week
without carrying anything over, and
we held it that way for a few weeks
and then, cut as we might, there came
a week when we struck a little balance
on the wrong side of the ledger, and
then Mrs. Phlimstack says to me:
“‘Horace, 1 gues you’ll have to cut
out the tobacco.’
"You know I’m a smoker, a mod
erate smoker, myself, and I will ad
mit that the prospect of going without
my regular smoke did not seem very
pleasant to me; but the rest were
going without, why shouldn't I? And
so when the order went out like that,
why, I simply cut the tobacco.
“I don’t mind saying that it was a
trial to me and I went to the office
next morning feeling pretty lean and
glum. 1 missed my smoke sure
enough; I didn’t feel in my usual
trim; not much like going to work.
“Then Grimsby came in and he lit
his pipe and Ah-h-h! Grimsby’s pipe
had turned to a blessing! Very quietly
I let my fellow clerks In on this, on
the little fine point in economy, and
they've all cut out tobacco, and now,
though he doesn’t know it, Grimsby
smokes for the whole office.”
Ventilating the Sickroom.
In ventilating a sick chamber It is
often desirable and necessary to leave
the window open to secure fresh air.
The best way to do this is to tack a
piece of muslin across the open win
dow by means of thumb tacks. It the
air is chilly this will keep the drafts
off the patient and will keep out the
dust and dirt, which might otherwise
be' blown in. If the day is hot and
sultry—and these days are the hardest
and most trying on a sick person—
an ideal way to ventilate, purify and
cool the air is to open the window or
windows and stretch a piece of muslin
across the opening, then lower the
shades to where the window is opened
and after this lias been done thor
oughly saturate the muslin with cold
water. Then place a large basin or
pail of cold water under or near the
bed. If this is done it often will en
able a restless patient to obtain some
much-needed sleep and rest. As soon
as the muslin becomes dry wet it
again.
Wasted Politeness.
"Won’t you have my seat, mad
ame?" he asked as lie politely got up
"No, thank you,” slip replied, “I pre
fer to hang to a strap.”
“But I insist.”
"No, I really prefer to ride this
way.”
'Wly dear lady. I could not permit
you to do so. I should not feel at
all comfortable sitting here while you
clung to that strap.”
“Don’t let it bother you for a mo
ment, I implore you.”
“All, you are very kind to say that,
but I still insist on giving y5ti my
place. I, if you will pardon me for
saying so, am not one of those who
can be insensible of the courtesy that
is due to the Indies. I come of sc/uth
ern stock. Please take my seat.”
“Oh, pshaw! If you must know it, t
am wearing a new corset and couldn’t
sit down if I wished to.”
Hard Put.
"Some people seem to have an idea
that if they don’t make a great deal
of noise the world will forget they are,
alive.”
"Yes, and they are the kind of peo
ple who can’t attract attention any
•ther way.”—Birmingham Age-Herald.1
I
IS OLDEST ATTIC LETTER
Missive That Gives a Glimpse of Man
ners and Customs in Demos
thenes’ Time.
A littlo leaden tablet, tarnished,
ugly and otherwise trivial In appear
ance, was sent u few years ago from
Athens to the Imperial museum of
Berlin, the Scientific American says.
On one side of it was tome writing
which only recently was deciphered
with precise correctness by Adolph
Wilhelm, an Austrian savant, who
lives in Athens. The tablet is the
original of a private letter that was
written about the time of the orator
Demosthenes.
Tho writer of the letter lived in a
rural neighborhood and \\ ished to send
a commercial order to a town. The
form .pf the address was: “To be
taken to the pottery market and to lie
handed to Nausias, or to Thrasykies,
or to the son” (perhaps the son of the
writer was meant). The weekly mar
ket., to which tiie Attic countrymen
.had gone to offer their produce and
wares for sale, may lie imagined in
.progress. There the boy who was
bearer of the letter was to find the
stand or booth of one of the three per
sons to whom It was addressed and
deliver It to him. The text of the let
ter says: "Mneslergoes greets you
eordially, he greets your fafnily with
the same esteem and wishes them
good health, and lie says also that his
own health is good. Please he so kind
ns to send me a mantle, either of
sheepskin or of goatskin, and let it be
as cheap as possible, for it does not
•need to be trimmed with fur. Send
with a pair of heavy soles also. As
soon as I have an opportunity I will
-pay you.”
So much for the letter, to the mo
tive of which the reader can point
with as much precision as the author.
Apparently it was written In winter,
poor Mneslergos having been surprised
out in the open country by one of
those icy snowstorms which sometimes
even at this day cover the temples of
Acropolis with a mantle of snow.
Therefore he desired to receive as
quickly as possible the heavy and
warm garment of the poorer country
men, a goatskin, which could be
bought for \y2 drachms, and the
strong soles which were worn under
the ordinary sandals on the rural
plains and hillsides. A good pair of
the latter could be bought for four
drachmas, as a well-preserved hill of
that date shows.
A noteworthy feature of this artless
letter is the formula that may be found
used in very numerous letters that
were preserved by the Greek literature
of later times. Even at the present
day every letter written by a rural
Greek begins with the same cordial
inquiry nbout the health of the person
to whom the letter is written and with
the brief information about the health
of the writer.
Clothes as Viewed by Scientist.
Now the scientists are making a
careful study of our clothes. The ear
liest garment was probably the shawl,
which was also used as a petticoat.
Make two rows of stitches up the
middle of the petticoat, give one long
cut between them and you have trou
sers. The band on a man's hat is a
survival of the fillet wherewith the
shawl was bound over the head. The
Scotch cap, the bishop’s miter and the
little boy’s sailor hat with their tails
and the bonnet strings can be referred
to the same origin. The little how in
the hat lining at the end of the lacing
had its origin in the time when there
were no one-eighth sizes and head
coverings could be laced in or let out
according to the size of the wearer's
head.
Men in uniform wear their feathers
on the left side, because when plumes
were first used and men drew their
swords more frequently they did not
want them to get mixed with their
feathers. The cocked hat probably
began when hats were so large that
they were looped up and the habit
then became permanent. The helmet
of the modern fireman has hardly al
tered since the Greeks.
The True Cure.
There are two ways of dealing with
the evils in the world which we Justly
deplore and wish in abolish—one, to
attack and try to break them down
forcibly; the other, to dissolve or ex
hale them by the active presence of
good. The former of these methods
appears sc much the more direct and
obvious that it ;.■• nerally gains (he
first fiiace in our attention. We see a
wrong and our irfipulse is to crush it;
we see an injustice and we long to
extermimate it; we observe an unright
eous institution and we desire to
overthrow it. The slower and less di
rect method of overcoming evil with
good, of substituting a better way for
that which is hacl, of devoting the
same energy to building up that we
would have given to the work of tear
ing down", obtains a gradual hold over
tis only with time and experience.
Proper Way to Walk.
When a man walks in thetright way
—speaking literally—the back of his
heel strikes the ground first. Then
the rest of the heel comes down, after
which the outer edge of the foot (V ■ s
the bulk of the burden until the for
ward movement shifts the weight to
the ball of the loot and finally to the
toes. The ideal step is a slightly
rocking motion. At no (line should the
entire foot be pressed against the
ground. Heel and toe is the move
ment. Try it and see how much fur
ther and more easily you can walk.
It’s the Indian’s way, and what Poor
I,o doesn't know about footwork cm
go into the discard
BEHIND THE TIMES
GENTLE CRITICISM OF THE MOD
ERN ENGLISH MOTHER.
Misguided. She Begins Early to Crush
All Individuality in Her Daugh
ter—American Girls Are Su
perior in Charm.
"The odd thing is, that for nil
they're so dead anxious to marry their
girls. English mothers don’t a hit know
how to do it. They’re right hack in
the middle ages in their ideas. They
think a girl should be good, and quiet,
and not too smart, and not too talka
tive, and not different from any other
girl Above everything on earth, she
is not to be couspicuous.
"From what English girls have con
fided to my sympathetic ear, I should
Judge that couspieuousness is looked
upon over here as one of the seven
deadly sins. What Is there that a man
wants in a wife?
"Ask him and he’ll reel you off a
catalogue of solid virtues. But watch
him, und you’ll see him attracted
either by beauty (and the English girl
could be the most beautiful in the
world if she only knew how to dress
and do her hair); propinquity which
is tlie cause of half tlie marriages in
England, especially the unhappy ones
(for Englishmen and girls seldom have
tlie chance to ‘walk out’ with each
other, as lower class girls and Ameri
cans in every class do, so that they’re
only too likely to marry the first per
son they really get a few tete-a-tetes
with); or else—what the English
mother ignores individuality, that
something in a woman which sep
arates- tier from the crowd.
"English women generally have their
individuality quenched by parents who
want their offspring to be lay figures
draped to copy mamma. At the best,
they seldom develop a marked person
ality till they are nearly thirty and
have lost the bloom of their youth and
the cream of vvliat to the American
girls are ttie happiest years of her life
"One of the most pathetic sights in
the world to me is an English ball
room full of young girls, all much of a
muchness in white, and all shy,
gauche, self-conscious, unfledged hob
bledehoys still, instead of having en
tered into their kingdom of charm
ing womanhood.
“They have nothing to distinguish
them from one another. Why, their
very partners can't tell them apart.,
and have to make careful mental notes
of ‘gold bangle,’ ‘good teeth,’ or 'stick
up tiling in nail !' ’ -Dui rt D’Espaiglle
Chapman, in the New York American.
The “Singing Dog."
In Sammy, a handsome collie, Lud
wig Carlson of Montclair, N. J., pos
sesses a self-educated canine tenor
soloist. Every morning when the bell
on St. John’s Episcopal church, near
the dog’s house, begins ringing,
Sammy takes tip a position not far
from the edifice and begins an accom
paniment that lias none of the dis
cordance of the ordinary canine howl.
It is a musical voice which Sammy
blends with the deep notes or the bell,
and it lias been observed that the dog
is exactly in tune with the metallic
soulids that come from the church
belfry.
At noon the collie makes tracks for
a lumber plant operated by his owner.
Here the dog accompanies the whistle,
which is blown at midday, and here,
too, lie always achieves perfect har
mony. The dog also joins his voice
with the town curfew bell at nine
o'clock at night.
Persons who have studied the dog's
performances say that in tlie begin
ning his voice was harsh and not at
tuned to tlie lie!Is or tlie whistles,
but devotion to practice and love of
harmony have made him an accom
plished canine vocalist.
The Artist’s Compensation.
Save a few business concerns, great
concerns. Harrod’s, tlie army and
navy stores and the like, what a
strange welter is in our whole system
of payment for work—-more especially
in Hie higher branches of work! Art
and literary work are terrible ex
amples of this confusion and want of
science. The payments to many of
the best workers in those barren
fields are so bad that a man is quite
sanguine if he sees not at the end of
his career tlie madhouse of the pau
per’s grave.
If he paint without genius, a paint
er may, by attracting an ignorant pub
lic. make himself secure. If he write
without individuality or real force, the
writer may likewise make himself se
cure by driving hard bargains with
I hose who buy and sell his wares. But
for the most part, good work in these
branches is the work of sensitive men
who are little children in money mat
ters and who shrink from bargaining.
Politics and public life and business
make a much hotter game than art or
letters.—London Saturday Review.
Rare Coin Found by Gardener.
While excavating recently a garden
er of Mobile, Ala., unearthed In the
western part of that city a bronze
coin. It later came into the posses
sion of ('. A. Dodge, a local inventor,
who had the coin photographed ami
sent to the Smithsonian institution.
Washington. T. T. ilelote, of the di
vision of history of the institution,
says that the find is a most valuable
one; in fact, so rare that there is no
specimen of the coin in the National
museum. According to Mr. Belote
the coin is of Homan mintage, struck
during tlie reign of Emperor L. Septi
mus Soverus, who ruled from 11*7 to
211 A. D.
.■ "1.
JUST ONE SUGHI MISTAKE
Why Mr. Newlywed Used a Spoon to
Partake of His Favorite
Rhubarb Pie.
The Easter bride explained exult
j antlv that her biscuits were not sink
ors;, (hat the first steak was not
charred; that she had not tilled tho
salt cellars with sugar nor put the
potatoes to boll in a pot without wa
ter.
"Everything went lovely." she said.
"I cooked the eggs for breakfast to
perfection, broiled the haiu Just tight,
had the grape fruit properly cold, the
coffee hot and strong and made a pan
of delightful rye muffins. Will ate
seven, and it wasn't in a spirit of reck
lessness, cither. He has to lie careful
of Ills digestion, because at one time
lie tried to live on health foods.
"Hut of course one can't help ma
king a little blunder. Usually it Is
due to anxiety. Will said that oT nil
pies, next to green apple pie, of course,
he liked rhubarb if he didn't get too
much of it. So as rhubarb Is coming
in very nice now I made up some crust
and got a few bundles of stalks. The
crust was fine. I could tell by the
looks it was Just short enough and
would digest as easily as tnlik. I was
very careful, ever so careful, to get
the right amount of sugar in. to got
tlie crust crimped around the edge and
to touch ft over with the white of an
egg. When it came out of the oven It
looked delightful and smelled deli
cious.
"I ran a knife around the edge to lift
it and when the knife came out my
heart sank. There were Juice and
fragments of rhubarb on It. Then I
tried to slip the pie onto a plate. It
wouldn’t slip. I ran the knife In again
and this lime the crust lifted up I
tried and tried and tried. Rut that pie
would tint romp out of the pan."
"It ran over," said one of her
friends. “You put too much sugar
in.”
“Your crust, was too tender or too
thin-and It broke,” said another.
The bride shook her heaft sorrow
fully.
"The crust was all right,” she said,
"hut I forgot to put in a bottom crust.
So we ate that bottomless pie with a
spoon."
His Effective Plea.
A story Is told of n prisoner before
Lord Justice Fitzgibbon, at the time
when the latter was one of the jus
tices of appeals of Ireland, whose
ready wit probably saved his neck.
Lord Fitzgibbon was holding assizes
In Tipperary county when a man was
brought before him on Indictment for
murder. The case was proved that
the victim came to his death by being
hit with a stick in the hands of (he
defendant, but the doctor testified
that he had what they called In med
ical parlance a "paper skull.”
The CRse looked dark for the pris
oner. however, and the Jury returned
a verdict of guilty. As the man was
brought before the court for sentence
It was noticed that his lordship had
his black cap in lii.s hand.
“Have you any tiling to say why sen
tence should not he pronounced upon !
you?” demanded Lord Fitzgibbon.
The man looked for a moment and |
then said, “No. your lordship. I have !
nothing to say, hut I should like to i
ask one question."
“What Is that, in; man?” said Fitz- I
gibbon.
“I should like to know what a man
with a head like that was doing in
Tipperary?”
The black cap was put away and a
prison sentence Imposed.—Youth’s
Companion.
Foolish Flinos at Farmer.
“There is no form of idiocy that
makes me madder than does the at
tempt of a stage comedian to make 1
a joke at the expense of the modern
farmer,” says Fred Storm. “The ,
chances are that the ’farmer,’ the butt;
of the alleged Joke, has ten dollars ;
where the so-ealle i comedian has ten
cents, and that he is a much better
educated man.
“t was in n playhouse the other
(tight with a farmf; friend from Men
tor, when one of these comedians
came out and sang a silly song about
(lie poverty and persistency of the
man on the farm.
“My farmer friend smiled innocent- i
)y. 'Well,,' he said, 'my farm brought
nte in over $-4,000 last year and my
wife and I have just expended $800 on i
ti trip to California. That may be ;
‘poverty’ and ’parsimony,’ but those
ain't the definition given these words
in tlie dictionary in rny library down
home,’ ”
Fried Chicken.
"What Brooklyn bridge Is to the
American section In foreign geogra
phies Maryland fried chicken is to the
American section in foreign cook
hooks,” said the woman glgbe trotter.
"Each in its own department is the
representative institution of our coun
try. Authors of foreign rook books
don’t think much of American cook
ery, but they can't afford to slight
Maryland fried chicken. Cook books
in half of (lie civilized countries on
the globe pay tribute to it, but no
.two of the recipes are alike.”
Youthful Reasoning.
One evening while talking at the
supper table, a priest's name hap
pened to be mentioned. Ethel said to
her five-year-old brother, who had
a cold:
“Charlie, that's the priest who ban
tized you and poured water on your
head.”
"Maybe that's how I got my cold,"
replied Charlie.
Your frofit Irom
$1,100 AWeek
rPHE makers of Clothcraft Clothes
^ spend $1,100 a week for inspection alone. They
do this to insure you of clothes without flaw or defect, 'l et they
are not satisfied. 1 hey continu
ally strive to improve.
Before your suit left the
factory it had to pass rigid exam
inations by ninety-five inspectors. I his is
one striking feature of Clotheraft scien
tific tailoring.
You can he sure that
Clotheraft Clothes are of pure
wool and have lasting style. Clotheraft
Clothes are the only guaranteed all-wool
clothes selling at $10 to $25.
CLOTHCKAfT
All-Wool Clothes *10 to*25
The suit you have been waiting for is waiting for you.
Hargrave’s
The Home of Good Clothing
Always Something New!
See the
Royal Vistas Ware
Different from anything ever shown here. Decorated
with reproductions from the old masters. We have
Plates, Plaques, Bowls, Sugars
Creamers, Mugs, Steins
Tankards, Tooth Brush Holders and Pitchers of all sizes.
Phis ware must f>e seen to he appreciated. 1 1 'S IN
mi' south window at
Chas. ii. Wilson's
LOWE BROTHERS
MELLOTONE Paint
Ready for Use on Walls
Woodwork. Burlap, Etc.
Put'up in gallons, half gallons and quarts. Flat colors for inte
rior decoration on woodwork and walls. Has no equal.
Permanent, Washable
Practical, Beautiful
Ready to use at any time. It is a revelation in its results it has
all the excellences of water colors, the soft beautiful effect.
WE ARE ACENTS FOR
Pittsburg Electrically Welded Fence Wire
Sure Hatch Incubators and Brooders
They have few equals and no superiors. It Will pay vou to inves
tigate our claims for these wares—they arc reputation builders.
j. C. TANNER
Tinning and Plumbing Falls City, ftebraska
***v*!*v‘I-*-I * • I- \ • *1*^*1*•»***•
! FRANK PECK!
jp
Auctioneer
• • v
- ...
v V
* If you contemplate having a £
's' sale see me or write for terms
at once. I guarantee satisfac-.i;
tion to my patrons. X
X X
FALLS CITY, NEBRASKA If
—The Candy Kitchen for brick ice
areaw.
Barefoot Sandals
JUST RECEIVED
H. M. Jenoe Shoe Store