LOST WiTH ADVANCING AGE Why the Man of Middle Age Does Not Retain the Taste of His Boyhood. I’ve just discovered why things tasted better to ine when 1 was a boy than they do now,” sail the man. as he indifferently surveyed the viands the "alter put before him. "It's nor because my appetite has become blase with age. but because 1 really had a larger sense of taste when I was a kid. \es, I just got that information straight from a scientific friend. He said that kids have a sense of taste at the sides of their cheeks which dis appears with maturity. He also told tme that sour, sweet, bitter, alkali and salt are the only taste sensations, and the other things I eat 1 enjoy from my sense of smell rather than a sense nil taste. Ho said if I would put sweet things on the tip of my tongue they would taste sweeter to me than if 1 just put them in my mouth indiscrim inately. as it were and that if 1 want ed to make ilie taking of bitter medi cine less disagreeable I should avoid .putting it at the back of my tongue. "Really, the tbings he told me about taste and my tongue made me almost afraid of eating. 1 didn't know ray tongue was such a complex affair. I only wish the sense of taste in my cheeks would return while I tackle this piece of apple pie, so that it1 would taste as good lo me as it used to in my boyhood days.” WAGNER AS A STATESMAN Writer Gives an Intimation of What Great Ballplayer’s Speech Would Be Like. if Shortstop Hans Wagner should H ally be electcd to congress it is pos sible that his maiden speech in the house would go something like litis: ‘Tm swinging hard against this bill, Mr. Speaker," lie might say. "and if it 'comes within reaching distance I'm going to slant it against the score board. I've been watching this play front the bench and it looks like a hip podrome to me. Tit' guys that are trying to get the hill over are doing a funny stunt all right, but they ain’t cut the corner of the plate with me. No, sir. O, I'm on to the signals! While our side is stealing second the other fellers will steal everything in sight. That ain't the way I was brought up to run the bases. I slide for 'em—an' no spiking! If I'm thrown out 1 take my medicine like it little infttt. I ain't used to playing in the dark with a lot of tricky outlaws. Give tm a fair field and no favor, and straight umpiring and a sevdu-pound wagon tongur. and 1 11 hand this bill a smote that will carry it over the fence of defeat, and drop it in the back alloy of oblivion. That’s me, Honus Wagner!”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Schooling the Parrot. Fnder tlie famllj,'s tutelage chatter ing seemed about all that (he parrot was capable of, so an expert in the teaching of parrots was called in. The fit st thing the expert did was to feed him. Presently the bird blinked drowsily and the lesson began. The bird appeared tQ profit by his in struction. bill his owner was not satis fied. "I am afraid you have a harmful influence over him,” said she. “He gets so dopey after you have been here a few minutes.” "That is because he has been doped a little,” said the expert. “I mix a light sleeping potion with his food. He doesn't get enough to put him to sleep, but it makes him drowsy. All parrots learn better just before they go to sleep. If you can catch them on the edge of natural sleep you get better results, but this fellow is so lively that doping won’t hurt him and he will learn more in a month that way than in a year of flopping arotfnd.” To Ward Off Old Age. Without advancing t lie hope of lengthening the span of life by the sour-mllk diet of Prof. Metehnikoff or any other plan. Dr. IJoyen of Paris be lieves senile decay may be retarded and {lie body kept in healthful activity throughout the natural period. To preserve vitality he invokes the aid if ferments to increase the white cor puscles in the blood, which are known to work so effectively ‘against, para sitic germs. He has named his ener gizer "mycolysine,” and lie states that it powerfully siiniulates tin white cor puscles, ibus not only lessening the inactivity el the old-age period, but giving resistance to various digestive and respiratory maladies. hie claims shat it acts against colds, bronchitis and even epidt mic diseases. . Recovery of Lost Standards. A curious experiment was once made to determine whether a lost standard could he recovered by purely personal efforts. The assumption was made that the standard of length was lost. One hundred operatives and oth i rs accustomed to dealing with meas urements were asked to give by esti mate their ideas of what the given standard was—in other words, to guess at length of the meter. It was found that the guesses were most, ac curate for lengths of about six inches —that small lengths were underesti mated and larger ones were overesti mated. Taking the average of tlie 100 subjects tiie result varied but a jt w one thousandths from the truth. Money-Making Thoughts. » darker—You seem in a deep study. A penny for jour thoughts, old man. Bluffwood—O, I'm a rapid thinker and have 500 thoughts at once. I’ah.'i me over a five spot. OVERSHADOWED POET’S FAME Thrifty Fellow-Cltlx«n of Whlttlsi* Pointed Out Blot on Hie Memory. Will Carleton, In a speech before the Writer’s club, related the follow ing remlnlBcense of a vlBit to the poet Whittier’s old home: "I was billed to lecture one even ing at the town which had been for long years the home of the Good Quaker poet. Just before I went over to the hall, a thrifty-luoklng citizen accosted me. "Will you probably say anything in praise of Mr. Whittier, to-night?” he asked, after a few general remarks. “Why, yes,” I replied: ”1 had thought of referring to him, and in a* very complimentary way. 1 have read, admired, and revered him, all my life, and it will be a privilege, here in his own town, to add my humble tribute to that of the world at large.” “Well, that’s all right," responded the thrifty-looking citizen,” and we've no objection in particular, to your do ing so; hut you mustn't be disappoint ed if you don’t get any applause with it.” “Why?" T inquired. “Was lie not idolized here—is not his memory held in veneration? lias he not advertised this town all over the world?” _ “Well, perhaps so,” was the reply, "’’but after lie died, we found out that he wasn’t paying taxes enough onj what property he owned, and, don’t you see, it has kind of made him un popular." EDUCATOR TOO POORLY PAID Telling Point Made by President of Brown University i_n a Re cent Speech. President Faunee, of Brown univer sity, at a dinner of the alumni of that institution the other day, spoke sym pathetically of the work of the college professor, whose real business, he de-, clared to be “not to stuff the student’s, mind with Information, but to train the intellect to grapple with and ana lyze complex situations.” That this important business is ill paid he illustrated by telling of a 'question and its answer. "If you won't take offense,” said a rich man to a college professor, “what salary do you receive?" “Twelve hundred dollars,” was the ■reply. “Why,” replied the rich man, “that is just, what I pay my chauffeur, ex cept that when 1 take him out of town 1 pay all his expenses.” Then Dr. Faunce asked his audi ence: “Can we afford to pay our chauf feurs as much as we pay the men who edticate our sons?” It was a pertinent question, telling ly put. Which should have the great er reward, the man who drives an au tomobile or the man who trains the intellect for the tasks of life? He Was Prepared. Blanche Ring, the actress, is always preaching caution whether she prac tices it or not is, as Kipling says, an other story. "If everyone was only as cautious as a man I once knew,” she said the other night, “nobody would ever go broke. He called at the money-order window of the local post otiice and asked permission to send an order for $100 to the ‘old country.’ 'Then the man with the money gave his own name as payee. , “ 'I’m going over next week,’ he vol unteered, ‘and I want to have the money waiting for me on the other side, so that I can give it to my mother.’ “ ‘Why don't you take it with you?’ asked the clerk. ‘You would save 40 cents.’ “ ‘Well, suppose the ship sinks and I drown?’’’—Young's Magazine. Photographic Detective. A scientific organization in France has employed an ingenious device to test the alleged power of a young woman to tell the contents of un .opened boxes. The committee, ap pointed by the organization to make the test, took a photographic plate and exposed it in a camera as if for an ordinary picture. Then the plate was cut in two, and one-half of it, carefully protected from the light, was enclosed with other objects in a sealed box. After the young woman had described the contents of the box the committee developed the two halves of the plate. Tha't which was in the box was “fogged,” showing that it had been exposed to light, while the other half developed a per fectly clear picture. Deaf Hear at Telephone. Among the many curiosities of the telephone anil one which certainly never was thought of when the instru ment was invented, is the fact that persons who are extremely deaf oft en can hear perfectly over the tele phone. Those who are so deaf that they can distinguish nothing which 1s said to them except by the motion of the lips or by the use of an ear trumpet or other similar device can carry on long distance telephone con versations with perfect ease and nev er miss a word. Enthusiasm Extraordinary. Many Chinamen were wrought up to n high state of enthusiasm by the pro vincial,- assemblies opened last De cember throughout the empire. One native schoolmaster was especially fervent. To express his feelings ho chopped off one of his fingers and with the stump wrote out eight characters showing his hearty approval. He brought this testimony to the dele gates from his district in bidding them farewell. v ROYALTY ON ITS TRAVELS Gcod Stories Told by Senator Depew of the Doing* of Potentates of Hawell. Senator Depew of New York, fa ui6us hh an after dinner speaker, told two good stories In the senate while he was speaking on a hill to regulate the government of Hawaii. He said, in reviewing the history of the Is'ands, I that the king and queen of the Islands once came to America and then went to Europe. "An incident of this trip," said the senator, "was one of the rare con tributions to the jsedate movement of. history, which promotes good fellow ship by adding to the gaity of nations. Chicago received the king with im pressive ceremonies on his arrival. After a weary day of parades and re views the then mayor of the metropo lis of the west found a king on his hands. Kings were not In his line, nor was he familiar with their attri butes, the customs of court or the methods of addressing them. To re lieve himself of embarrassment he, drove ills majesty to the lending hotel, and, leaving him In the lobby, said: ‘Good afternoon, king; we have had a hard day, and I think you hud better go up to your room and wash up.’ "When their majesties arrived in London they were entertained by royalty and were guests at Windsor," continued the senator. "There was a current story at the time," he said, “that at the dinner the Hawaiian queen said to Queen Victoria: 'Your majesty, I am a blood relative.' To the astonished inquiry, 'How so?' the Hawaiian queen answered. 'My grand father ate Capt. Cook.' ” NONE TO DO HIM REVERENCE Sad Time, Indeed, for the One Time Political Boss, When He Is "Down and Out." No better exposition of the cold blooded nature of the political ma chine, with the quick desertion of its adherents when "there's nothing to it,” could there be than the lonely death of the man who ruled New York state and for a while made gov ernors, senators, and even tried his hand at presidentmaking, says the New York Post. A man who called to see him in his little Eleventh stieet flat about a year ago asked if it was in this place lie re ceived his friends. "1 have no friends,” said the old man bitterly. "Hut your old associates, the men for whom you did things; surely they come to see you?” “No, they don’t.” "But how about your classmates in Yale—are any of them alive?” "I don't know," was the indifferent reply. "Don't you ever go down to the Yale club?” "I never was a member of the Yale club.” Another reference to neglectful friends seemed to wake in him a new vigor. "I'll expose I hem. I'll expose them," he exclaimed. "I’m writing my memoirs, and I'll expose them." First English Words. "It is a libel on foreigners to say that the first English word they learn is ‘damn,’” said the trained nurse. "It isn’t 'damn' at all, it is ‘upsey daisy.’ There is something about that classic nursery phrase that tickles their ears. They seem to pick it up the day they leave Ellis island. I know hundreds of foreigners—the poor, hard-working kind, with big fam ilies—and am familiar with their lin guistic attainments. They are fond fathers and mothers, most of them, and they jabber baby talk as volu bly as American parents. Most of it Is their native jargon, but‘upsey daisy’ Is the gem of their vocabulary. (!o into any foreign quarter you please, ami watch the grown-ups toss the babies to the celling. Nine times out of ten they will preface that stunt, with 'upsey daisy.’ ’’ The Shortest Biography. "This is the life of little me. I am I the wife of Heerbohm Tree." Thus Lady Heerbohm Tree when asked to write her "life"—surely (he shortest [ autobiography on record. Lady Tree is shortly to appear on the variety ; stage, and patrons of the music hails i will then have an opportunity of i seeing one of England's cleverest and I most distinguished actresses; for. be: sides her histrionic gifts, Lady Tree from an early age developed a taste j for classics and mathematic:;. Her favorite subject was Greek, at w hich I she was most learned, and many ! ! years ago she tok- part in a Greek play before an audience which in cluded so distinguished a classical au 1 thority as the late Mr, Gladstone.— Tit-Hits. Hanged Wrong Man. Lesurqnes’. the principal figure in | the famous judicial tragedy of the Ly ons mail, which has been staged the world over. left a number of relatives, at the time of his execution. When his innocence was subseinientiy estab lished, Napou-on HI., in 1865. granted a pension in perpetuity to the man's lineal descendants. The pension was paid by the French government until quite recently. A few days ago a Mine. Rehague. who described herself us the direct descendant ot Lesurqnes on the female side, wrote to the min i islet- of justice iti Paris, insisting upon her right to the pension The lady, who is GO years old. is prepared lo produce the t:> ■ ary proofs in or • r. Matthias Cook, a physician of Utica, N. Y, who recently died at the age of 70 years lie was a lead : ing member of the Oneida County Medical society, but beyond his pro fessional work did other things well He was well known as a singer lie had a famous flower garden. He made an entomological collection of over 5,000 specimens, which he gave to the Utica Free academy, lie became known through the world as a raiser 1 of high-bred pigeons He had a rep utation for microscopical studies. He gathered a collection of postage stamps, which he Anally sold for $3,000 Besides all these things, no physician in Utica did more charitable work than llr Cools He would seem to have been as well cut Hied to be called an "all-round man" as anybody. The Bomb Man. Lecoq, the detective, ordered a fourth eggnog “Bomb men are the pest of Russia," lie said. “As we have green-goods men here, so they have bomb men there. "You, for Instance, are a farmer. Stepan Stepauoviteh You Como to Petersburg to see the sights and sud denly a man thrusts his hand in your pocket and says: " ‘Cursed aristocrat, I have placed a bomb In your trousers. Move a mus cle and it will go off.' “You stand perfectly still. You are half dead with fright. After ten min utes or so, though, you collect enough' courage to ask a passerby if ho will please remove very carefully the bomb placed In your pocket by an anarchist, and the passerby draws forth gingerly a brick.” “A brick,” he repeated. "But Step an Stepanovltch’s purse, containing 17 roubles and -IS kopecks, Is quite gone.” 'You Arc Articular RUT you are no more particular when you buy a suit than we are. You strive to get the greatest value for your money. So do we. It’s good business. \\ here you would lose $1 — we would lose $1,000. We are proud of our buying ability when we oiler you Clothcralt Clothes. We brin you from a maker w ho has achieved wonders in flu- cloih.t ; world. ]>y scientific tailoring the Clothcraft manufacturers reduced the cost of production one-third. And the gain to 5011 is pure wool clothes- with lasting shape and style to sell a treason able prices. With < \cry Clothcraft garment goes a guarantee sigtn d by the maker that trees you forever from clothes troubles. All-Wool Clothes $10 to$25 Let ns show you this splendid line. " Miise/rrffF* Odd Pieces of Art (Hand Moulded) Decorated Pottery In 3-Piece Sets Creamers, Steins. See the new Jardinier a Jardinier and Flow er Pot Combined. Nothing like it ever shown before. See these goods at Chas. M. Wilson's LOWE BROTHERS MELLOTONE Paint Ready for Use on Walls Woodwork, Burlap, Etc. Put up in gallons, half gallons and quarts. Flat colors for Inte rior decoration on woodwork and walls. Has no equal. Permanent, Washable Practical, Beautiful Ready to use at any time. 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