The Point in Question
THE KINDLY CRITIC
mrnnrrwwmnmwmmrttwrrmt]JTiMiwm r—iwm it n 1 ■■ ■ 1 ■■■■
Christmas Carols
Once there was a preacher who
was asked to give his views of wlmt
Christmas meant to him and how
that day should he observed. Ac
cording to his diagnosis—hi: advance
diagnosis—Christmas was a day
of solemnity, a religious day, and
embodied in his analysis was much
about tile Three Wise Men. the Star
of Bethlehem, and the Babe in the
manger, which was beautiful and ap
propriate. Christmas morning his
wife had buckwheat cakes and sau
sage for breakfast, and il was only
when she scraped the bottom of the
crock, and he drained the second cup
of coffee that he left the table and
sought his favorite chair. At Christ
mas dinner he carved a lovely bird,
and so imbued was he with the true
Christmas spirit that he partook gen
erously of both dark and light, meal,
and ills favorite (id-hits, various veg
etables, macaroni, jellv, celery, and
I
a ilium pudding, after a favorite re
ceipt of his wife's mother. And there
was candy and nuts, and fruit; and
really to tell the truth, the preach
er overloaded his stomach, and be-J
fore the day was done,—the sweet,
solemn, Christmas day—he felt
“indisposed," and was in a groggy
state, and the sweet Christmas spirit,
that solemnity, that chaste demeanor,
was chased away and made to yield
to a plain that really ought not to have
any place in the Christmas program.
The moral of this simple but
truthful carol i3, that it is
the stomach that is the real of
fender, and breaks in upon and nid
ifies our Christmas conduct and de
portment. We mean to do well up
on this great anniversary, hut we are
led astray tiy the skill of the Christ
mas cook.
Once there was a young man in
love with a girl—or he thought he |
was—ami when Christmas rolled
around lie said to himself, “there
is nothing too good for Jacqueline—
here goes.” And he straightway pur
•liased for her a costly graphoplionfe,
that played “Shubert’s Serenade,”
“The Holy City” and “My Itosary.”
It was a high priced affair, but lie-'
ing purchased upon the installment
plan, he was happy. Jacqueline, in
the end, married another man, and
now lulls her infant prodigy to sleep
every night with "My Rosary,” anil
Jacqueline’s husband laughs in his
sleeve and handles the records in a
rough manner. All Of which goes
to show that the silly season does
not necessarily come in warm weath
er.
Once there was a woman who
loved her husband dearly, and at
Christmas time she sought to set
before him the good things of life.
She was a competent judge of tabl •
fare, but of tobacco, alas, site knew
nothing. Said she; “Last Christina;
i bought my husband the cutest little
box of cigars--just twenty-five in a
box; lie smoked just two and put
the balance of them away—and lias
them yet. He says he’s keeping them
to remember me by. Such a cute
box of cigars they were, with a nice
gold hand on each cigar. The name?
Oil, my husband calls them ‘Little
Stinkos.’ He says they are rare;
are in a class by themselves, and
have an aroma unlike anything lie
• ‘vor smoked; a ropy, pungent-like
perfume that makes you see tilings,
that are not. and never will be—that’s
what, he says. Sometimes i think
he’s joking about those cigars. Hut
the box was just lovely. This Christ
mas I'm going to buy him a lovely
smoking jacket, and I shall insist up
on his smoking those cigars. It’s
simply extravagance to keep them
any longer.”
Once there was a man who was
"bioke” about Christmas time, and
while no one asked him so to do,
he discoursed loud and long about
the foolish extravagance that pre
vailed at Christmastlde—the buying
of costly presents, and he sniffed
at the displays in the jewelers’ win
dows. All would have gone well if
he had simply followed his own idea,
and not tried to influence others. Hut
Scrooge-like, he said unkinw things
about Christmas and the Christmas
spirit, and he tarried long at the
post card counter and where the cheap
books lay in such profusion. lie
bought three nice cards, a calendar,
a small copy of "Pilgrims Progress,”
and started for her home. Kre he
reached there a long, lean, cadaver
ous hand reached down from the
frosty gloom and snatched him up—
Piigrim's Progress, cards and all,and
he’s never been seen since.
Once there was a crusty old bil
lionaire, who had nephews and nieces
galore, .lust before Christmas these
nephews and nieces all wrote him a
n.i.e, long, loving letter, asking about
his health, and incidentally mention
ing that another Christmas had roll
ed around, etc., etc. Of some twen
iy odd letters lie received from ids
loving nieces and nephews, he ans
wiied but one; that of a little niece
who lived far from the main travel
ed loads. To her he sent a million
dollars, and this message:
i send you greeting and a million
dollars, i do tills act simply be
i o of all my nephews and nieces
who wrote me you were the only one
who wrote 'Christmas' as it should
be written. All the others used
ibur senseless'term 'Xmas." Be good
and you'll be happy. Yours,
I NCLK MIDAS."
Lear old Santa t huts' Don’t give
him up! Seek out some little friend,
s' „ little acquaintance, or better
still. . mto little child of misfortune,
..ltd n. ;o him glad, liis touching be
li> f v. " bring back your own. Be to
him a mta Claus, your gain will be
gr. ate r han his. New life will throb
turou your bein'-”. The bells will
ring iii sweeter chime; tile holly
be tics will gleam with a brighter
hue; all the earth will be good and
at pi ar c, if you look through Santa
Claus' eyes. There will he heart in
your ' Merry Christinas.”—C. IV.
Grt oil.
WOULD NOT DENY IDENTITY
Admission of Charges, However, Might
Have Been Made in More Digni
fied Manner.
A characteristic figure in the poli
tics of the middle v est once ran for
congress from the state of Ohio, llis
free and easy manners made him pop
ular with the boys, but his life had
not been Irreproachable, and from
many quarters came evidence of oppo
sition. This opposition crystallized
finally at it meeting of the Ministers’
league of the district, and a delegation
was sent to ascertain beyond question
the truth or falsity of the charges
against him.
Though the object of their visit was
known to the candidate, he received
the ministers with a hearty greeting,
and stood before them smiling, while
their chairman, a man of serious mien,
unburdened himself of the questions
previously agreed on.
‘‘Mr. 1 said the chairman, unc
tiously, 'you the man who has
been sec frequenting race tracks?
Are you the man famous in this com
munity for your devotion to games of
chance played for money? Mr. lilank,
are you the man whose notorious im
morality has for years been a blot
upon this town and a shame, to all Us
honest citizens? Are you the man we
have described, Mr. Blank?”
The statesman's eye twinkled as the
catechism was concluded.
“Gentlemen," he said, returning to
courteous gravity. "I am that identi
cal son of a sea cook ”
Needless to say. in spite cl con
tinued opposition, the popular favorite
was overwhelmingly returned.
Ink at $100 a Pound.
“The best India ink—It should
really he called China ink—never
leaves China,” said a missionary, "it
costs $100 a pound, and the scribes
use it in writing the correspondence
of the royal family and the mandarins.
“India ink is made of the oil of the
poisonous seeds of tlie sosamum or
colza tree. Varuisli and pork fat are
added to this oil, and then, by means
of combustion, all is changed to
lampblack.
"The lampblack paste mixed with
glue is beaten for days on an anvil,
One musk is gradually mixed in to
give perfume, and the purest gold leaf
to give a rich luster. Finally the ink
is dried in molds for about a month.
“What makes the host India ink so
costly is its purity, and. above all, the
lone time given to its combustion and
subsequent beating. If you saw its
beauty you wouldn’t think it dear at
$100 a pound.”
Sure Death to Files.
Fly papers are to be superseded by
a fluid exterminator. "In our experi
ence,” says the London Lancet, "the
best exterminating agent is a weak
Bolution of weak formaldehyde In wa
ter (say two'teaspoonfuls to (he pint)
and this experience has been con
firmed by others, it would appear
that flies are attracted by a weak so
lutiou of formaldehyde, which (hey
drink. Some die in the water, others
get as far only as (lie immediate vi
cinity of the plate of water, but all
ultimately succumb, and where I hey
occur In large numbers hundreds may
be swept up from the floor.”
Economy in Correspondence.
“About the most economical corre
spondents I’ve heard of.” remarked
Assistant Postmaster Ray Floyd,
"were two women who stopped at a
window downstairs the other day and
wanted to know If it would be all
right if they both were to write a
friend on tlie same postal card and
thus save a cent.”-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Catholics in Germany.
There are now’ 23,000,000 Catholics
in the German Empire. In the same
territory In 1800 there were only
about 6,000.000.—Rosary Magazine
i
oAFETY FOR MINERS
SIMPLE DEVICES THAT MIGHT BE
OF MUCH VALUE.
Recent Disaster at Cherry Hill Has
Led Writer in Eastern Journal to
Make Suggestions for Avoid
ing Catastrophes.
In reading the accounts of various
recent coal mine disasters, it occurs
to me that certain devices for protect
ing life should he employed under
such conditions which, from all ac
counts, appear uot to have been util
ized in such cases.
The action of the miners at Cherry
Hill in shutting themselves tip in otto
of the mine compartments, by tilling
up the opening with earth and other
material, suggr.ts the advisability of
installing heavy asbestos curtains
(like the lire curt; ins used in the
aters), or other similar means of cut
ting off connection of one part of a
mine from another. These curtains
could be installed in such a way its to
tie removed from workings that be
come exhausted or are not used.
Another suggestion is that each sec
tion of the mine workings be provided
with emergency h lephone stations.
Telephone systems, 1 believe, have
been installed for business purposes
in some mines. Such facilities would
enable entombed miners to communi
cate with the outside and afford in
valuable assistance in case of acci
dent.
The temporary lighting of workings
by electricity also afford greater
safety, and would doubtless be very
valuable In case of accident.
In mines without water supplies, it
would seem feasible to keep all sec
lions of the workings supplied with
readily available water, so that, in
case of an accident, if the miners were
cut off from any section of the mine,
at least sufficient water would be at
hand to meet their needs.
! It would seem desirable, also, to
have certain escape shafts located in
the safest parts of the mine, in sec
tions which could quickly be cut off
In ease of fire or explosion. They
should be special shafts, to be used
for the escape of the men in case of
accident. They could he provided with
iron ladders or hand-hoisting appa
ratus, If necessary, and would corre
spond somewhat to the fire escapes of
large modern buildings.
It would seem (hut devices like
those, which may he used in some of
the more progressive mines, should he
installed in all coal mines whAe any
considerable number of men are re
quired to work. It would be as rea
sonable to require the installation of
such appliances, along with those now
more generally In use, such as ven
tilating fans, etc., as it is to require
devices for the protection of life in
large buildings and on the railroads.
The Installation of such appliances
should be supervised by good en
gineers, and the devices should be in
spected and tested frequently enough
to insure their efficiency. They should
be so installed Mint an explosion or a
fall of earth will not tint them otilf of
commission. Mow extensively are
such appliances used? (’an any one
answer the question?—Washington
Star.
Man's Responsibility.
Some people take no more interest
in public affairs (ban if they were iti
7.ciis of Mars. They go to and from
their places of business, eat, sleep,
sell goods, and die, without leaving
a single1 impress on the community
they live in. either for good or bad.
That is a poor way for a real man
lo act. lie takes the benefits bis com
munity bestows, tint refuses to ren
der the slightest service in return. Of
course, that is mean. Hut it is mean
er yet to praise oneself for his indif
ference, as many do.
There ale some people who put
great slresg on religious duty, tint
take no part in civic duty, as if there
was a sort of chasm between them.
But there is not any such chasm. Re
ligious duty is civic duty, and vice
vf-rs*1, and a man who eccs no duty
in liis relation to civil government
takes a mighty laggard view or his
duty toward God.
The man who insists that lie won’t
dirty his hand in politics is the man
who Is responsible for politics being
dirty. The man who does nothing to
keep politics clean is really engaged
in keeping them corrupt.—Ohio State
Journal.
A Good Manager.
Homer S. Taylor, president of the
National Archery association, said at
an archers’ dinner in Chicago: ,
"An archer must lie very skillful
and calm and cool to succeed. He
must handle his how as Mrs. I’oarck
of Michigan avenue handles her hus
band.
"Mr. Poarck came home very late
tlie other night, from an important po
litical meeting. In the hall he kicked
up ratfirr a row, growling and swear
ing to himself till his wife called to
him from upstairs:
“‘What’s the matter, my dear?'
“‘.Matter hie- is,’ Mr. Poarck
shouted, ‘that there’s two hat. racks
here, and I dun no which one to hang
my hat on.’
‘“But you’ve got two hats, haven’t
you?’ said Mrs. Poarck soothingly.
'Hang one on each rack and come up
to bed. You’re tired.’ ”
A Common Weakness.
Landlady—Yes, I must confess I
have a weakness for coffee.
Boarder—It must be sympathetic,
The coflee has the same quality.—Meg
gendorfer Hlaetter.
IMITATION OF REAL THING
Battery Now in Position on "Old Iron
sides” Not the Same That
Brought Victory,
ft very fair day in summer 'and au
lumn tourists crowd the deck of the
frigate Constitution at the Charles
town navy yard.
The most striking thing that en
gages their attention, once they are
aboard ihe historic ship, is the but
tery. The lines of grim, black guns,
making up the ship's broadsides, have
a luscin 1 ion for every patriotic Amer
ican who makes a pilgriinug • to "Old
Ironsides."
The tcvini i fondly pats ihe iron,
saying: "They could shoot with these
old guns r all," or. "Till is what
gave the H: hit Tits.'
if the te . ' is in a party, with a
conductor • • g, he hears, in the
contse oi i »f lecture on the ship,
that the g re not the original bat
tery of II, - . i, but mod >rn replicas.
This he c have surmised had he
reasoned ovc, the absence of any tir
ing device on the guns. The rim of
the old pan, in which powder was
placed, is there; but there is no hole
(onneetlng with the interior of the
gun.
The reason for this Is easily ex
plained. The guns were cast at the
navy yard two years ago, when the
■hip was restored, it was not neces
sary to pierce them. For show pur
poses they do as well as they are. ftx
< ept for lids omission they are like
the original guns carried by the ship
ill the war of 1812,
Allowing, therefore, these "dummy"
guith to move Ihe Imagination, Hie vis
itor, looking at the broadsides of the
Constitution, can fancy them hurling
death and destruction oil’ Tripoli in
1805, or in the line sen fights of the
war of 1812.
I lie battery of the ship in those
days consisted of 14 guns, the heavi
est of which were Ilfi-pounders; that
is, they threw a shot of that weight.
Looking at the primitive wooden
carriages on which the guns are
mounted, and the cumbersome tackles
by which they lnid to be drawn back
every time they were loaded, one may
pause in wonder at the execution
they did.
The wooden wedge or quoin, at the
base of the gun, by which its muzzle
could he elevated or depressed, was
the chief means of training it.
it was a rule to fire as the ship
rolled downward on a sea, in order to
have the shot take effect in the ene
my's hull. In the British navy the
rule was the opposite. They fired on
the rise of the ship.
This practice ruled in the engage
ment between the Constitution and the
Guerriere, August 19, 1812. The r«
suit was the speedy reduction of the
British frigate to a wreck and her sur
render. while the Constitution was in
jured only in her sails and spars.
One Way of Doing Business.
Billy Emerson, the minstrel, took a
company of black-face artists to Aus
tralia in the old days, and had hard
luck. On tlie way back lie landed at
Shanghai and gave a show,
Emerson saw there was a good
house. "Doing pretty well,' he said
to the box-office man.
“Fine," that official replied: "we’ve
got in $400 in money and $1,400 in
chits."
%
“In what?” gasped Emerson.
“In chits."
“What are chits?”
"Why, promises to pay. Everybody
vises chits here. Give a chit and set
tle at the end of the month."
“Do you mean to tell me that you
have let $1,100 wortli of seats go for
(hem chits, as you call them?”
"Sure; why not?"
"And those people just signed their
names and didn't pay cash?”
"Certainly."
“What a business I could do in the
slates!" groaned Emerson.—Saturday
Evening Post.
Kat Plant Stimulus.
Some years ago, alter a long and fa
tiguing climb by Americans in the
Abyssinian mountains, they were
served with libations ol "todj," an ex
tremely refreshing beverage in which
(atna edulis, or the kat plant, was
used.
Certain tribes chew (he leaves of
the plant commonly when compelled
to exert special or long continued ef
lort. the immediate effect being sleep
lessness and stimulation.
The freshly cut leaves have a rather
pleasant taste and produce a kind of
intoxication of long duration, with
.tone of the disagreeable features of
inebriety.
Messengers and soldiers, by chew
ing the leaves, are enabled to go with
out food for several days.
The better class of merchants chew
tm re leaves three or four times a day,
the habit being fairly comparable to
ili< use of tea In the United States.
Wealth in Chemicals.
Ultramarine is cited ns an example
of the industrial value of chemical in
vestigation. When this was made by
powdering lapis lazuli, a very rare
mineral, the cost exceeded its weight
in gold, but siiioe the chemist's dls
covery that the same material can bo
made from such cheap substances as
.odium sulphate and carbonate, sul
phur. charcoal and rosin, the price
!'as fallen to a few cents a pound.
Ready for Them.
Friend Now, it I were building a
house I'd—
Owner—Step around the corner,
please, and you'll find a house I'm put
ting up to carry out the Ideas of my
friends. This is one I’m huildinr to
suit myself.—Judge
A Graceful Endorsement
(Goring, Scotto Bluff Coimty.Coui’lm)
“There is a paper printed at Lincoln called THE NEBRASKA STA~
CAPITAL. This writer never fails to read it through and through,
though it simply contains the personal opinions of Frank A. Harrison.
Wi don’t love Harrison, never did, and do not know why, but we do
enj y this paper and we pronounce it a little nearer ti c public purse ef
Nebraska than any other single publication in the state. He is devoting
much of his am munition just new to anti-saloon dcctrincr, and to his ef- >
forts may be attributed much of the progress tow-id county option. Some
pipers which carry art ed..0 id column have a till j • sloppy slush
which is well nigh meaningless, and the Courier is constitutionally afraid
to try it, but the man who can get up a weekly bunfch of editorials
ouch as Harrison prints is no less than a genius. T 1 years ago this
pappi carried an editorial column,but the mad rush of business has
been responsible for its absence sl ice then. A com of reading THE,
CAPITAL has produced the desire .0 say our ow / again, hence
this column, which we are Inclined to make permanent."
Are you a subscriber to THE CAPITAL? Try it. If you pay $1.00
before January 1, you can include the name of some friend, and gr*.
credit for one year on each name.
WANTED!
Horses and Mules
From 1 to 20 years old I want them fat ami broke to
work. 1 will buy any kind, big or little Don't sell them
until you see me. If you have got a big, fat horse <»| any j
kind I can give you more than you can get in any market
anywhere. We have got a good place to ship to and can
pay you the price if you have good horses that are too
high for other buyers. Fetch them to me 1 will buy
them. Price cuts no figure on a good one.
I will be in Falls City, Saturday, Dec. 25
Christmas Day, at Chapman’s Feed Yard
Reserve, Friday, Dec. 24
Hamlin, Kas., Thursday, Dec. 23
Remember the dates. Come in. Tell your neighbors. \
l
Jester & McDaniels
LANCASTER, PENN.
YOU WILL SHARE OUR PRIDE
in dental work if you have need of ou
services and avail yourself of our ski!',
experience and faculties. We don’t do
half way work- it’s all or nothing with
us, as many people know to their ow
great gratification. Note, please, that
we make no charge for expert examin
ation.
L)R. YUTZY
HBRT WINDI.K, l>. 1>. S.. Assistant
Palls City, Ne braid a
Office Removed to Tootle Block
6th and Francis Sts.
a R . W. S. FAST:
ST. JOSEPH, MO.
attention to MFIHFINF, KK< I Alt
I)isc*:»H<*F, piwaw‘H of \Y(>MF.N nml CIIIFDHI.N
CHESTER A. BRINK
PhVsicion and Surgeon
Office Over State Bank.
Residence, Union Hotel.
>* '
EDGAR K. MATHERS
DENTIST
-—- 1
Phones: Nos. 177, 217 |
Sam’l. Wahl Building
--—-i
DR. C. N. ALLISON
DRNTIS 'F
Phone 218 Over Richardson County
Bank.
FALLS CITY, NEBRASKA
R F». ROBKRTS
DHIN'FIST
Office over Kerr’s Pharmacy
Office Phene 2U0 Residence Phone 271 •
■
CLEAVER & SEBOLD
INSURANCE
REAL ESTATE AND LOANS
notary in office
’
FOR SALE—A nice six room cot- ;
tage, lights, water, cement walks, cel- 1
lar, barn, coal house, and three lots.
Located one block from court house I
and in splendid shape, a model ,
house. Price $2,500. Inquire at this i
office. 41-tf
Listen
Mr. Renter
Harvest is about over.
You have paid a large share o!
your entire crop to your landlord.
Has it paid? Are you satisfie
with the remainder?
Do you realize that dollars pah.
1UI rent me doilui» iou> uo i»...
come hack?
They're gone,a ml unless you strik
out for youself and your boys, mor
are going next year.
Here is a money-sav
ing proposition.
Go with me into the Dig Hon.
Basin.
Buy a small irrigated farm on easy
payments; payments as easy as
paying rent in your present locality
and in ten years you’ll have A FAIl.V
OF YOUR OWN in rf growing com
try where crop-failures are unknown
and good prices prevail.
Write me for details TODAY. [
am employed by the Burlington and
my services will cost yon nothing.
D. CLEM DEAVER
General Agent
f.iiiiil-i-cker* Information Huron
Hoorn 4, “Q*1 Hlila., Oiimlm, N*
3211 ACRE HOMESTEAD FREE
Country just opening for Homesteads,
lias been controlled by stockmen for
years. l>and as good or better than
any Indian Reservation. For informa
tion address
DALE © HERMAN LAND CO.
EDGEMOM, S. D.
Residents of the Country for 21 years
