A Lamp is An Ornament
As well as a necessity, in ev
erv home. We have them.
Our stock of Fancy Decora
ted, Nickle-plated and Glass
Lamps, consists of the dif
ferent si/es, shapes and dec
orations. ()ur stock of
Decorated Lamps
^ <" is the best we have ever han
dled, both in price and <|uality. Nothing better for
Christmas presents. We have them at
Chas. M. Wilson's
NEMAHA VALLEY
Pressed Stone and Brick Co.
VV. H. PU I'NAM & SONS, Props.
We manufacture ami carry in stock a full line oh Cement
Blocks, Brick, Tile and 1 ‘lain and Fancy Trimmings,
which we would be pleased to show and price you before you
place votir order elsewhere. We also wholesale and retail
Sand, Cement and Crushed Rock
We are agents for t he Boelt’s Concrete Mixer Visitors al
ways welcome at our yards. Located on the
CORNER 14th & MORTON STREETS
2 Blocks from Burlington Depot FALLS CITY, NEB.
FOR SALE
RICHARDSON CO. FARMS
40 acres rolling land, $1,400.
94 acres bottom land, $6,500
100 acres rolling land, $5,000.
80 acres good land, $7,600.
80 acres good land, $7,200.
80 acres good land, $9,200.
80 acres good land, $12,000.
110 acres good land, $12,760.
160 acres good land, $16,000.
160 acres good land, $16,000.
160 acres good land, $20,000.
320 acres good land, $25,000.
OKLAHOMA LAND
240 acres improved, $4,500.
160 acres improved, $3,000.
LALL.S CITV PROPERTY
A1 four room house, $1,200.
A1 fine modern cottage, $3,500.
5 room house, 5 lots, $2,500.
8 room modern residence, $4,500
10 room, fine residence, $3,200.
9 room modern residence $7,000
6 room residence, $2,500.
7 room residence, $3,500.
The above are all well improved properties and worth the money.
I also have several good farms lo exchange for good Income
property or business.
1 have a couple of fine business propositions for sale,
ly you wish to buy, sell or trade see mo, I may have a bar
gain for you.
G. H. FALLSTEAD
FALLS CITY, NEBRASKA
YOUR LAST CHANCE
to pay your respects to the de
parted is the erection of a mon
ument to their memory. Before
placing your order let us quote
you prices. . Our works and our
prices have a’ways given satis
faction. The above, with many
other artistic and up-to-date de
signs^now in stock.
Call or Write for designs and
prices
Fails City
Marble Works
Established 1881 F. A. ft R. A. NEITZEL, Mgrs.
START RIGHT WITH THE NEW YEAR
SUBSCRIBE FOR THE TRIBUNE-$I 50 PER YEAR
WAY ALWAYS OPEN
ONE MAN'S SOMEWHAT CREW.
SOME VIEW OF LIFE.
With What He Supposed Was Dose
of Deadly Poison in His Pocket, |
the World Took On a
Rosy Hue.
"Every man should have a hobby,” |
said the fat man. “Now. mine’s sui
cide.”
T he thin man nearly swallowed his
cigarette.
"Suicide? You? Well, of all the
freaks 1 ever heard of!”
"Certainly,” continued the fat one,
placidly, as he munched bis chicken
croquette. “That is what makes me
so happy and take so cheerful a view
of life. You have no idea what a
comfort it is to me. I used to be thin,
you know, like you, and could never
cat chicken croquettes or souerkraut
and frankfurters—they gave ine a
fearful indigestion. That was because
I was always worrying about some
thing. Then all of a sudden, this idea
occurred to me about suicide. I de
cided to commit it. I forget now
whether it was a business trouble or
a girl- I think it was a girl. 1 asked
a medical student friend of mine
what was the surest and neatest way
to croak and he said ‘cyanide of po
tassium.' I asked him would he give
me a lit He hunk and he promised to
steal it out of the laboratory lirst
chance he got.
“Now, you may not believe it, but
just ns soon as I bad that piece of
white crystal in my pocket, I began
to bo a different man. Instead of
taking it that night, as I had intend
ed to I just wrapped it up in a piece
of tissue paper and put it in my pock
et to use next day. I wrote a parting
letter to the girl -yes. I'm sure now
it was ti girl and decided to have
one good night's rest, anyway. Well.'
the next morning it was a beautiful, ;
sunshiny day and everything looked
kind of different. .My mood had
changed and I decided to wait a little
while and see if anything came of the
letter. Nothing at all happened and
then 1 found I'd forgotten to mail it,
so I lot it go. Things kind of straight
ened themselves out and 1 was real
glad I hadn't wasted the cyanide.
"I haunt carried tin* thing around
with me more than two weeks before
I begun to get fat. Von see, nothing
bothered me. Whenever I felt real
down and out all I had to do was
make up my mind to swallow the
crystal and I’d take it out of my
pocket ami have a look at it and put
it back again till tomorrow, it was
the open door to freedom- the escape,
it. made me independent of every
thing and everybody. It's really a
marvel for chirking a fellow up." ,
The thin man laid down his knife
and fork.
“Well, I'll be Say! Have you
got it with you now?"
“Sure! I may use it to-night if iliis
deal witli Skrubbs doesn't go through.
Here it is." And he held out in his
hand a nice little piece of washing
soda. “My friend the medical stu
dent." he added hastily, replacing tiie
crystal in Ids pocket, "told me to be
awfully careful and not show it to
any one.”
"i don't wonder." said the thin man
without a smile. "It might cost Him
iiis reputation as a chemist."
Napoleon and the Canal.
The steadily increasing estimates
as to the final cost of the Panama
canal serves to keep that projected
waterway very much in the public
eye. Tint probably very few know
that if an ambition which had been
cherished by the late Kruperor Napo
leon III. had ever reached fruition,
there probably would never have been
any attempt to cut a canal across the
Panama isthmus.
It was utter Prussia had defeated
France that Napoleon conceived the
project of opening a canal through the
Nicaraguan route, it seems that the
idea first occurred to Napoleon while
he was a prisoner in the fortress of
Ham. At that period he filled his
time with schemes for groat under
takings, and to a friendly navy offi
cer who visited him in his cell he re
vealed bis plan for a Nicaragua
canal. t»u reaching Kngland after his
release he printed his plans, calcula
tions, and surveys, together with a
mop, which eventually came into the
possession of a Mr. Haynes of Man
chester street, Manchester square.
Jerrold's "Life of Napoleon” makes
brief reference to this ambition of Na
poleon, and says that political events
put a stop to the enterprise.
At the Milliner's.
An Atchison woman who has a sin
cere desire to the economical, says the
Kansas City Journal, took a blue
feather, some velvet, and a rose to a
milliner, asking the milliner to fur
nish the shape and trim it. The
woman was proud of the feather, the
velvet, and the rose, as they were as
good ns new, but the milliner cast just
one glance at them, and then the wom
an began to apologize. "Apologies
are not necessary,” said the milliner
icily. “You surely don't expect me to
use anything like that!” And the wom
an didn't. Another woman said to
her milliner, bravely: "1 want a hat
that doesn’t cost a cent over five dol
lars." “W-h-a-t!" screamed the mil
liner. 1 mean,” stammered the wom
an," "that doesn’t cost over $1.')." "Oh,
well, that's better." said the milliner.
Louder Yet.
Murray Hill—You know, money
talks.
Cherry Hill—Yes, but poverty uses
a phonograph.
DESCRIBING THf IDEAL WIFE
Men Have Many Opinions, and Not
a Few of Them May Rightly Be
Considered Unjust.
A Philadelphia clergyman collected!
and read from the pulpit lust Sunday
a number of letters from husbands—I
presumably model husbands -bearing;
on the subject of tlie model wife.
One man wrote that the ideal wife j
should not spend $25 a week when the {
income was but $20. lie probably
meant that, in any event, $2"> was too
much and only an extravagant house
keeper would lavish any such sum up
on tlie home, it was a man of this
sort who, when he got off the old and
trite remark about tlie bread that
mother used to make, was tartly told,
"Well, you don’t make the dough that
father used to make." The hardest
domestic experience for any woman
is to have her husband ascribe to her
lack of thrift the failure to lay by
money against a rainy day, when the
real reason is that his own earning I
capacity is inadequate to supply the!
elemental requisites. Women as a
rule are the savers rather than the
spenders, and when the penny is laid
by on its way to the dollar mark the
saving is generally due to her econ
omy.
Another man holds that it is the !
part of the Ideal wife to keep herself:
neat and tidy. It is: but too many !
men throw the whole burden of the !
household drudgery upon a woman's 1
shoulders, without once reflecting
that a maid-of-all-work cannot keep j
her coiffure, her complexion, and her
attire as immaculate as the lady of
leisure, who may loiter as long as she I
likes before the mirror and tlie toilet;
table in her boudoir. It is a source ;
of unhappiness in many a home that
the man makes disparaging compari
sons between his careworn and pre
occupied wife and some airy fairy Lil
lian whose chief concern is whether
her white shoes are spotless and her i
gloves quite clean.
Another man believes that the ideal
wife is one who "does not harass the :
life and soul out of a man." Heckling
or licnpecking at home is beyond per
advcnture. tin- continual dropping that
wears away a stone, hut it is only fair ;
that the man should ask himself a few ;
searching questions before lie blames
his better half, lias he been kind or
cross after the day's vorrisome busi
ness'1 Has lie been thoughtful or neg
ligent about tin* minor items that in
life's appraisal make up the major
portion of the inventory? The mail
wlm Hints fault with his wife will
sometimes find that "on his own head,
in his own hands, the sin and the sav
ing lies.”—Philadelphia Ledger.
Woman in America.
There is no doubt, that the most in
teresting tiling to tlie European who
lam!' on the northern shores of the
new world is the American woman—
that happy, victorious heroine of
modern femininism, who has discov
ered how to extract from the new
condition of woman all the advant
ages with almost none of the incon
venient! tlciliei. wlm lias known
how in ,i- - .me : m , ulir.iiy in all that '
regards i dependence and liberty of
acti« ii. and i'1 im'ii feminine in grace,
charm and alirt i.- : that American
beauty, that American genius whose
wonders are seen and felt in all the
American and European reviews,
whose writers declare her to be en
gaged almost entirely in severe study,
in masculine work, sport and sim
ilar occupations.
Europe, moreover, is right. The
American woman is not only one of
the most interesting phenomena of
North America, hut is also the phe
nomenon of the new world that might
have the greatest and gravest effect
on the old, shaking on their founda
tions the essential principles of our
female instruction and training, over
throwing tlie society of the old conti
nent or continents, with zest, to a
greater extent than is realized, on the
antique functions of woman in the
family and in society.—Putnam’s
Magazine.
Has Woman a Sen?* of Humor?
Not a wife-Eve but plays up from
morning to night to Adam's idea of his
own importance. Stan must assume al
ways that he is alsolute monarch of
the little domestic kingdom, no matter
how firmly intrenched she be as the
power behind the throne, writes Inez
Hayes Gilmore in Success Magazine.
She must assume always that he is
the hub of his business world, that it
would lly to pieces were he to absent
himself from it for a week—assume it
even though she knows that it is his
capable underclerk who keeps the
wheels moving.
And last, “Women have no sense of
humor,” says—does the man live who
has not said it? It is the oldest brom- j
idiom extant. Yet man has always be
fore him the irrefutable evidence that,
for countless generations, woman has
lived with him. How could she have
survived that ordeal minus the sense
of humor?
Too Dangerous for Him.
Country Silas—Why do ihey have
those numbers on the hacks of the
automobiles?
City Fred—Oh, that's so the police j
can toll when they run over people.
Country Silas—Sakesl I'm goin’
home! That last one had run over
121,456 people!
Her Material.
"I have been on an exploring trip
through my husband's summer
clothes.”
“And these poker chips and these '
racing form sheets?”
"Constitute the data for my lec- i
ture.”
Christmas Gifts
For Everybody
We have Christmas gifts
suitable for everyone from
“Baby” to “Grandfather.”
Our holiday lines are tiieyoy^
largest and most eomplete.^'Avy
Our patterns are exclusive
and up-to-date.
Visit our store and be
convinced—but don’t wait
until the last minute. Come
before the rush begins.
J. C. TANNER
FALLS CITY, NEB.
At
Your Service
^|UM w*
There’s A Reason
There’s a reason fordoing all things. The “reason’’ in this
case for your giving us your
Grain, Flour and Feed
business, is that O-U-A-L-I-T-Y is our most important watch
word. When you get it have it of the first quality. Free
delivery to all parts of the city. We are located
Just West Polls Citv Auto Co.
Aldrich & Portrev
PALLS CITY, NEBRASKA
I am trying to make a
date with
WHITAKER
THE
AUCTIONEER
They tell me he is strictly up-to
date and well posted on all classes
of domestic animals and also farm
property in general.
He can certainly please you. as he has had s xteen years expe- j
rience. He is also from Missouri, and if given the opportunity Will
“SHOW YOU"—results.
BEFORE ARRANGING DATE, WRITE, TELEPHONE
or TELEGRAPH (at my exponse)
J. G. WHITAKER
Phones 168-131-216 Falls City, Neb. ,j
A Word With You
ABOUT HARNESS
We handle only the best in the harness line and a reputation is
back of every article we sell. Large stock to select from.
Blankets and Robes Direct from Factory
Finest Line in the Gity /"V \ ft* f + fi s *T" j
Call and See Us U. M MUSl j LL
. J
YOU WILL SHARE OUR PRIDE
in dental work if you have need of our
services and ayail yourself of our skill
experience and facilities. Wc don't do
half way work—it’s all or nothing with
us, as many people know to their own
great gratification. Note, please, tha.
we make no charge for expert examiu •
ation.
DR. YUTZY
BEKT WINDLE, n. D. S.. Assistant
t ails City. Nebraska
