Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1909)
THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE Entered as *eeond-cla-s matter at FallaCitv, Nebraska, po*t office. Janu ary 12. 1904, under the Act of Congress on March 3,187‘>. Published every Friday at Falls City, Nebraska, by The Tribune Publishing Company E. r SMARTS. Mamitr One year - ..Sl.-jO fchx months - ... .. Three montlis •40 TELEPHONE 226. Truth is mighty—if it doesn’t got • aught by the enemy too far from its commissary departmont Eskimo dolls are to lie among the Christmas toys this .season. Now look out for the automatic gum drop. Mrs bank hurst, noted English suffragette. has reached New Yolk on a one-way ticket. Hope she's no relation to Mr. Hill-Hurst. Mr. Peary has submitted his polar proofs to the National Geographical Society. Naturally wo presume they ■Were tied with baby ribbon. | "To be a Christian means to be a Htriver after truth," declares an evangelist Guess that lets In all members of the grand jury Champ Clark Is said to be hot all «t the speakership. However,Champ will still be able to express himself even if he doesn't get into the chair. President Taft s reported to have conquered a bucking broncho on brother Charles' ranch. Of course the president had the weight, of the argument with him. Ex-Governor I Frank llunly. of Indiana, is said to side with t lie .suffragettes. Frank wants all the ladles to vote just as many times as he does provided they vote his way, Cook says he will have his records ready in a month to semi to Copen hagen. Meantime we'll have to try to squeeze along on the Pearv rec ords and n few Edison phouogapli records. \ Cincinnati Methodist bishop re cently conducted tlie funeral service over the remains of his ow i son. A good many ministers "preach the funerals" of their own sons without waiting for them to die President Taft is to have a quiet trip down the Mississippi river. There is to he no firing of guns, and, let us hope, no firing of pilots, as was the ease when strenuous Teddy took tits well remembered trip down the tame river. The conservation congress will meet at New Orleans November I to talk over practical methods of sav ing our resources. To begin with, some delegates might conserve their resources a little by staying at home and saving railroad fare. Wonder if tills flying business is ever likely to advance to the point where it will he necessary for an aeronaut to buy from a corporation or some kind a ninety-nine year lease on a piece of blue sky before he can fly through it without getting stuck for trespassing. A Kokomo youth was made hap py the other day with a quarter. He lacked just that much of being able to procure bis marriage license and a bystander chipped in and helped him out Who cares for money, any way when trotting though the state of matrimonial bliss? The town of Framlnham. Mass., ought to lx* locked up in jail to keep itself from being stolen. Through us ing its town treasurer us a tool swin dlers have put out over $300,000 in forged bonds of the municipality. The natives are probably so busy looking out for grafters on the “inner cir cle ’ that they didn't recognize a plain, unfrilled steal when it happen ed along from the outside. A DEBASED OATH. A bill is being drafted in Washing ton, i>. C., to be introduced in con gees, which, it it becomes a law. ■will do away with the solemnity of the legal oath as administered in the District of Columbia. The bill pro vides that the words, “So help me God," be expunged from the oath as now administered. Perhaps it is as well such a bill become a law not only in the District of Columbia, but thoughout the entire country. The way in the majority of eases this oath, invoking as it does the help of God in carrying it out, is so flagant ly broken makes of such an oath nothing but a travesty upon the sacred name. It is a common oc currence for men to take this solemn oath with uplifted hand, when it is their full Intention to tell a bare faced lie in answer to the very ttrst question affecting In any way their interests in such cases and they are all too common—what is tin use of compelling a witness to add the sin of sacrilege to that of lying and perjury? The whole oath, so far as any effect it has upon the geat majority of wituesses, might as well be cut out entirely. We believe that the honors of faithful service as precinct committee man belongs to Ol Ayers this year. Me made a poll of his precinct and gave his personal attention to ward getting every vote to the polls. Af ter the smoke of battle had passed Nemaha precinct showed 1'J. repub lican votes while Ayers’ poll books gave him 71 names to work on. A few such faithful workers iti each pre cinct and the republican party in this county might get on earth again. In n New York zoo recently a mon key committed suicide because of the death of a dog companion. How ever, we are glad the monkey had more sense than some of his Darwin ian descendants and did not try to take some of tin- rest of the family with him. Some men might learn a good deal from the monkey. One of the Idg department stores in Chicago has orderedlts saleswom en not to wear pads or rats or other artificial frills. Now Hint's too had; probably some of them won't fit their clothes after they get all trimmed down to "just natural." In Massachusetts a woman is charged with having stolen a diamond ring from a corpse while kneeling beside the coffin. Hut, then, some people are not as particular as others about where their Jewels come from. "Save you money; don't squander it." says John D Itoekefeller to his Cleveland Sunday school class. We always thought John would get around to economical ideas if he were only given time. NUMEROUS CHANGES OF NAME. Blonde Woman's Adventures on the Matrimonial Sea Evidently Had Been Many. They met on the street ear the In tense little woman and the much adorned, plethoric blonde noth evi denced that extravagant pleasure which comes of meeting by accident an acquaintance one has not thought of for months. "How d'ye do, Mrs Gray?" panted the Monde, extending a plump, l>e diamoned hand. , "Why! How do you do, Mrs. Wil liams?" effused the other woman. "Not Mrs Williams." prompted tlie blonde, automatically. "Oh, to bo sure," the little woman apollgized, I beard you were to be married Mrs. Str-Strhonski, of course. I hope it isn't too late for congratula-\ tions." "That's so, 1 was Strbonski," recol lected tlio blonde, "that musician—but now I'm Madam Theodore; lie's a chef." The little woman's chin dropped, and for half a binshe sat with a face like an exclamation point "This is iuy corner," she announced, jumping to her feet as the car slowed up. "Would you- would you mind, Mrs. Madam Theodore, telling me what your name is the next time wo meet?"—New York Press ^37S OVER THE TELEPHONE. o of Carnations Clearly Wafted From One Booth to Another Far Away. other day a prominent business i this city went into a drug store a telephone .lust before him a woman with a large bouquet of ..■.ons had been using the phone when he went into the booth tbo e of the Mowers nearly stifled him, e uch so, in fact, that his intention to hurry the conversation and get "it as soon as possible. With the ought of the strong odor uppermost in his mind, he called a man at the it her side of the city wit bout a word having been said on the subject, tlie it her man remarked about tli • strong odor ot carnations, and the man who called up, without thinking, said a woman with some carnation had just been using the plume on which he was talking. "Hold the phone just a minute,” said the man at the other end of the 'ine, "and 1 will find out if there are tny of the flowers in the store.” After waiting for a few moments he again came to the telephone uml said thut there were no carnations there and that the clerk was positive that there had been none in the store that day.—Ohio State Journal Anytnmg to mease. “Hubby, 1 want to go to an ex clusive resort " "All right, my dear,” said the great magnate. "I'll buy you a mountain.” “I prefer the beach.” Very good John get me quotations j on oceans."—Houston Chronicle. ... ....- ■■ ■■ All Off. The Heiress—Have you seen papa? The Duke- Yes. it's all off The Heiress—You don't mean to say that he refused to give his consent? liio — v,'it. no. no «ui<i he'd give bis consent—but not another cent.— Stray Stories. IN CONSTANT FLOW SAMOAN VOLCANO POURS LAVA INTO OCEAN. Only Four Years Old.' But It Is Easily the Tita** of Them All—New Coast Line Is Being Created. In the island of Savaii, in the Sa moan group, during an August night in the year 1005 there arose trout the midst of a peaceful cocoa plantation a volcano that in four years of its still ceaseless activity has sent lorth more molten lava than has any vol cano of which there is record. To-day this flow of lava, in some, places 700 feet in depth, is Idling up the sea along it frontage of more than seven miles, has destroyed about 50 villages and as many square miles of what was once the inor-i productive area in ail Samoa. Front Apia, about 50 miles away on the island ot Fpolo, it is sometimes possible to read at night by the glare of (he Savaiian vol cano. whose twin pillars of vapor by day become columns of red. Above the ever set thing lake of fire within the crater hangs a great crim son cloud, while eight miles distant irom tile volcanic cone appears a less er cloud, sometimes divided into many columns of apparent lire, it is but the steam arising from the sea, col ored by the red glowing lava' that I tour- a Niagara ol Are over the cliffs that the re:: rless torrent of molten rock builds higher and higher every day rite oci an st,en net s touching at \| i. pass within i in-c hailing dis tance of thi. dramatic pvctacle. Scientists who have seen the most recent How say that every minute 300,000 tons of lava How over the lower tint of the erat r: and this not resembling in any way the other la va, but like molten iron spreads over the old Held and beyond until at the sett there is a Niagara of fire full ten miles in width. As this molten lava falls into the ocean, says Harper’s Weekly, it turns to a fine black sand and sinks, and so a new coast line is being built up in water 300 to 400 feet deep. Phis moving moltt n lake advances at the rate of four miles an hour. As It pours itself into .the sea columns of water are raised in steam to incal culable heights, and this, descending in a line tain of brine, destroys vege tation and corrodes the galvanized Iron footings of churches and trading stations for miles around. As the torrents of boiling lava break against the basalt cliffs or hum mocks left by the old flow cliffs are melted by the heat, hummocks disin tegrated and carried forward by the flow to be hurled into the sea, where they explode like Titanic bombs, and this Is taking place every moment along an ever widening sea front of ten miles at least. For more than a mile out in the ocean the water boils, and from the crater still flows a steady stream of lava greater, it is said, than man him ever seen in the past issue horn any volcano of which there is record. Never once since that night four years ago, when this volcano was born in a peaceful valley, has It re ! tnalned for a moment quiescent. Mocking Birds in Massachusetts. The coining of a i.oeling bird to Massachusetts is <> run* that even those who have nun ■ a study of birds are apt to be pi;/*. H by the unfamil iar visitor To such persons it will bo of interest to learn that a pair of mock ing birds are making Duxbury ttieir suinnit i home this year. They were lirst noticed several weeks ago. when they made themselves at home about a house in the southern part of the town. The beauty of their songs brought neighbors to watch them. In i few days they left the place, hav ng apparently found more to their lik ng a swamp near by at the bottom of an apple orchard. Two enterprising nature students spent an afternoon under these trees, and they were rewarded by abundant opportunities for observing the birds which left no doubt as to their iden 1 Htv Their nest is probably in the thicket of the swamp, but no one wants to risk disturbing them by hunting for it. They have improved their visit to the north by increasing their reper toire and have added imitations of several northern birds to the long list of songs they already had.—Boston Globe. Unprejudiced. Mike McGinnis was being examined for jury duty in a murder trial. "Mr. McGinnis." asked the judge, have you formed or expressed an opinion as to the guilt or Innocence of the prisoner at the bar?” "No, sir." replied Mike. "Have you any eoncientious scru ples against capital punishment?” Not in this case, your honor." Mike ; replied. Success. No Rest There. 1 ncle Kben If ye ever visit New York and git tired walkin’ around th' city, don't ye go into th' stock ex change to rest! Aunt Martha—Why not? 1'ncle Kben—(Jr;; Ions Bakes! there >' they eharge $10.him tor a seat!— liaise. His Ambition. "Rerty, what are yon going to be when you grow up?" asked the min ister. "A milkman," said Tommy, prompt j "so's ! can go round in the morn 1 !ng making all the noise T want.”— ' buffalo Express RIGHTS TO TERM DISFUTED Mexican Herald Ridicules Appjllation of "Chrirtian Mat ons” to the Pow ers of the World. A contemporary indulges in rash peculations respecting the benefits to accrue to die Ottoman empire when it stiall be partitioned among the Christian nations of Europe,” re marks the Mexican Herald. One fails to recognize any modem nation which the designation fits. H* ally Christian nations would not be armed to the teeth, as it were, and spend half their revenues in prepara tions for war. “Never since Chris tianity came,” says a recent writer, ' lias there been a time when the <ourse of nations was so marked by ' iolence and the power of aggression. ('. portunity and strength are recog nized as the sole guides for interna tional behavior. The most solemn I ledges are set aside without question and the rupture, of treaties is accept ed almost without protest when the power that breaks the treaty is strong enough in itself or its allies to secure the fruits of its violence by threats of war. 'Blessed arc the peace makers,’ we are told; but if one great lower claims that blessing for thevac tion of a fortnight ago, it must be with a sardonic smile. When a man stops a quarrel by presenting a pistol at the head of the injured party, he n ay be described as a peacemaker of a kind, but it is a peculiar kind, not coming, we think, within the meaning of the blessing.” Tlie guiding principles of modern nations are not those of Christ, but rather those of Nletzche, the teacher of the right of might and the gloriiier of brute force, who counsels the trampling down remorselessly of the weak. The press of the world daily tells of the bitter hostility of the great nations and speculations as to the future of aerial navigation revolve around the employment of airships as agents of destruction. The most ad vanced nations of t lie world are at this moment concentrating seveu tenths of their energies upon the means of fighting each ottier, iu a war which, when it comes, will shake the world and give the yellow race its chance to win new ground at the ex pense of white civilization. Frog Industry in France. It is in France that the frog was first generally used for food, and it is In that country that the industry of frog farming lias been most largely de veloped. The green frog exists abun dantly throughout France wherever there are marshes, ponds or sedgy mar gins of rivers or bays that contain fresh or slightly brackish water. The best outfit for frog raising is one 01 more shallow ponds or reser voirs tiib d with grasses and other wa ter plants. It. should be so situated that the water can be partially drawn off so a to facilitate the labor of catching. If, as is often the case, the pond already abounds in frogs, they are simply protected and left for a year or two to propagate. If food does not prove abundant the owner throws in live earthworms, as the frog is,a carnivorous animal and prefers the food. wheth< i wot. larva*' or insects, fresh and 1 n m r, , ; condition. If no Hog 1;. ..(■ ' they are ... d * .tl i r Liv r g * :i U,< iorm of <; , which hutch wuen the water be comes warm In April.—Popular Me chanics. White Uniforms Not Popular. White naval uniforms, when dean, are very effective, but are not popular. Every man in white on deck is ex posed as a conspicuous bullseye to any guerilla marksman skulking through the brush or sneaking over the water surface s of a hostile coun try. During the Filipino insurrection this visual exhibit was apreciably noticeable aboard the gunboats which patrolled the coasts within rifle shot of the beach. No sooner did a light mark show above deck than the thud of a bullet against the side of the ship or the hiss of a miss as it whizzed away into space showed that a game of “I spy” was on. Then, too, on a balmy day a stiffly starched soldier looks cool and neat to ait but himself, though starched clothes are endurable in mild weather. Hut let the thermal conditions change to a sultry humid ity; result, the white and starched stiffness wilts like a dishrag, perspira tion damps the linen which clings to the sweltering frame, bizarre creases streak the soggy trousers if one dares to sit down.—Army and Navy Journal. Truth of This Not Vouched For. In an illustrated description of the game of tennis "Simplicissimus” says: "Like all good things, lawn ten nis is of English origin. Marie Stu art, while a prisoner, was compelled to beat carpets which were hung over a rail. Not contented with this hu miliation. her sister, Queen Elizabeth, once threw a dead mouse at the un fortunate Marie while the latter was beating carpets. The little defunct rodent was caught on Marie's flail and sent hack over the rail, and was re turned to her by means of a flail in the hands of Elizabeth, and thus the game of tennis originated. Further on in the same same description it is said: "Two sets are formed, and while these flirt at the edge of the court others stand near the net and make efforts to speak English " Womanlike. Madge—You must have managed to : console tlie poor girl, for she stopped 1 crying. Marjorie—That wasn't the reason. 1 She stopped when she found that she 1 hadn't another handkerchief.”— Puck. EZRA, THE DREAMER SO CHARACTERIZED BY HIS WIFE, AND HE ADMITS IT. But He Will Yet Cet Her the Many Fine Things He Had Promised, and the New Hat Right Away. Ezra,'’ said Mrs. Hilltops, "when can I have the money for a new hat?” "Well, Elizabeth," Mrs Hilltops re- ; plied, cheerfully, 1 couldn't give it to j you just now, but 1 cap let you have it next week.” "Next week!” said Mrs. Hilltops,; echoing the words but giving them a somewhat different twist, saying them j not bitterly not sarcastically, but in j a sort of sighing, weary tone. She continued: "Ezra, do you know that you have been saying next week to me ever since we were married, so-and-so many years ago?”—Mrs. Hilltops mentioned the number, but it isn't necessary to go into all these minor details here— "and that next week has never come? You were going to get me horses and a Carriage; yes, sir, l was going to have a carriage, sure, and a fine house and beautiful clothes. You were go ing to make me happy, you said, and give me everything that heart could wish. “Where, Ezra," Mrs. Billtops wTent on, smiling herself now as she re called the catalogue of luxuries which when they were married brave Ezra was going to give her, but which he had never given, "where are tiiose things that 1 was so surely going to have? Have 1 horses and a carriage? A fine house? Beautiful clothes? Have I any of the splendid tilings you promised me, that you were going to give me? "Has it not always been next week, next week, that these things were go ing to come, but have they ever come?” And again Mrs. Hilltops smiled down upon him as she thought to her self: "Horses? Carriages? A fine house? Lleautiful clothes? Why, I’m ! having a hard time getting money enough to buy a new hat!” "Well, Elizabeth," said Mr. Hilltops,! and he was smiling, too. "I haven't given you all those things that I was going to give you, that I wanted to , give you, and that 1 surely expected I would be able to give you, that is true; hut you see things didn't turn out exactly as 1 expected they would. "I didn't earn as much as 1 expect ed to. for one thing; and then, with till your economy, my dear, it always cost us more to live than we had expected; and then the children came; and so all the time it cost us more; and per haps 1 didn't save as 1 should have done, and so 1 couldn’t give you so 1 many things that i would have liked to give, "1 have not put off getting these things because 1 wanted to. but be- j cause I had to. You know I would have given you everything 1 promised you if 1 could, don’t you? And we have been very happy, haven't we? And I am going to get you all those things yet!” "Ezra, you're a dreamer!” said Mrs. Hilltops, smiling still, and looking j down upon him kindly, as a matter of tact, very kindly, "just a,dreamer.” Then Mi. Hilltops got up and j started for the ofiice, thinking to him- j self that perhaps he was a dreamer, perhaps he had been too much of a 1 dreamer; but he had had few night mares in life, his had I n mostly pleasant dreams; and then he reflected seriously that he certainly must find thv money for .Mrs. Hilltop's new hat next week. Criticism Repaid Author, Bjornsen, the great Norwegian writer, who is reported to be serious ly ill, once told an interviewer that when liis first hook was published no) one of his friends could lie prevailed upon to read it. At length a fellow student, whose opinion the young an thor valued highly, was persuaded tf attack the book on being promised : bottle of punch. In fulfillment of this! promise, he climb ! one afternoon up to Bjornsen's attic, filled a long pipe, undressed to Ins sjnglet, lor it was very hot. flung himself on the bed, and began to read, with ilie punch by liis s-ide. Bjornsen sat on the sofe, hungry for 1 raise, but not a word dropped from liis friend's iips until the pipe, the I i V. and the book were finished, when lie arose, dressed, and took liis departure, remarking as he went, “That is ihe best book J ever read in my life.” Then Bjorn sen felt that bis punch had not been v asted. New England's Libraries. According to (he statistics of the national bureau of education, New England is conspicuous in the number of libraries. Her states lead the resl ot the country, except that California is ahead of Rhode Island. The for nter state has one library for every 6.102 persons, while in Rhode Island there is one for every 6,387. In the number of volumes per capita, how ever, the little state is ahead, having 200 volumes for each citizen1. New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Con necticut are ahead of her in the ordei named, and Maine and Vermont fol low. Pretending. "See the hoys." ' Pretending to be soldiers, eh?” YeF, kids get lots of fun pretend ing.” “And grown-ups, too. 1 put in mj vacation pretending I was rich. — Louisville Courier-Journal. Disciplining The Janitor; ' , . -la For some time it bad been apparent to the Garvins that whenever anythin.; was lost off the dumbwaiter the jan tor asked them if they knew what had become of it. The unanimity win: which their co-tenants, through the medium of a common agent, applied to them for the restoration of missing property finally became humiliating and Mr. Garvin said he was going • > put a stop to it. "The next time,” ho said, “that that fellow Johns calls up here and asks ua .-.bout Jones' milk or Smith's bread u Llrown's cabbages I'm going to squelch 1dm so effectually that lie will let am body run away with the house itseil lie fore he'll ask us if we know what lias become* of it.” Mr. Garvin had an opportunity 10 pursue his drastic policy with tlie jani tor the very next morning. It was a Sunday morning, and Air. Garvin, eager for battle, rushed to the dumb waiter in response to the clarion cat! ' from the janitor's speaking tube. "Hello!” he said. "Hello!'1 came the reply from to* depths of the basement. "Say, ha * youse folks seen anything of a basket of aigs from the delicatessen that w left on the dumbwaiter this morning for Mrs. Crosby ?” "No,” said Garvin, “we haven What do you take us for, anyway? V pack of thieves? When things are lost about the house why don't you g*> some place else once in a while look for them? Why do you alwa come to us?" "Because, came the unhesitating reply, "you are the only people in tun building who never lose anythin.: yourselves." For a moment Mr. Garvin appeal *d convinced by this apparently conciu sive evidence of his own guilt, but soon his indignation as an injur id householder asserted itself and tirg -;| him to vindicate his honor. "The only ones who haven't hod anything, are we?" he retorted. "Wei: just let me tell you that is no pro u We have lost things, too." "You have?" exclaimed the janitu "You never said anything about it. Mr. Garvin instituted his system of revenge on the following morning. "Say, John,” he said, "did you sv anything of a roll of butter the g cer's boy left this morning?” "No, sir," floated mildly from *;io foot of the dumbwaiter shaft. “That is too bad." said Garvin "Somebody lias swiped it. Y’ou h oi better And out who it was." "All right," said the janitor; ' ! il get it for you.” Before Garvin had Anished iis breakfast he was disturbed by a vio lent whistling and shrieking at the tube and the creaking of the dumb waiter. “Hello!” came a sepulchral voi -* from the basement; “here’s your hi. ter.” Mr. Garvin was too much astound >d at that unexpected announcement to make reply. "Well, I'll be blessed!" he said ro his wife. "Where do you suppose im got it?" “What are you going to do with it cross-questioned Mrs. Garvin. “Keep it, I suppose.” “But it isn't ours,” she protested "He must have scared one of our neighbors into giving it up. Yoq had better give it hack to return to them ” "Never," said Garvin. “I have start ed out to teach that fellow a lesson, and I’m going lo stick to it. Silence just now is the best policy. To make inquiry of him or neighbors might spoil the game.” In pursuance of his scheme for dis ciplining the janitor Mr. Garvin d ir ing the next few days reported miss ing a pint of cream, a ten-pound pack age of granulated sugar, a quart of strawberries and a basket of potatoes,'' and each time, to the Garvins’ increi.; ing amazement, John called up aft n the lapse of a few minutes: “All right, sir; here it is.” At last, Mrs. Garvin, being of a su perstitious bent, began to read discs ter in the janitor's extraordinary obedience. "I do hope,” she said, “that you won t report any more fictitious losses Well be guilty of robbing everybody in the house before we get out of this scrape. I am already such a dyed-m< the-wool thief that I am ashamed o look my neighbors in the face.” T he day alter receiving the myster ous basket of potatoes Mrs. Garvin reived the monthly bill from the gro eer. “They've made a mistake,” she said, after comparing it with her own item ized list of purchases. “They ve charged us with butter, cream, sugar, strawberries and potatoes that I ne^r ordered!” A Unique School Service. ^ The little town of Stanley, in Ur* falkland islands, possesses the mosr. unique school service ever known 1 wo traveling schoolmasters are pro vided by the government, who visit, the different families where there are children and give instruction. The length of their visit depends in th.» astuteness of the children, and thj' may spend days or weeks, as the ear* may be, at one house alone. Easily Explained. Patience—I see Mrs. Styles w.rh her dog quite often, but I never s-*o her with the baby. Patrice That s easily explained Yon see she named the dog. and tho baby was named after her busbaud'a folks.