Of what can ne
dom in the
struggle fur
fame.
And Napoleon’s life
la another good
sample
of how a young
man may ai hleve
a great name
But what was the
good of their
strident en
deavor?
Why struggle and
battle and gi um
hie and die?
Ah, rather than all
who were nobis
and clever
Would I have
been he who de
voured the first
pie.
His name is not
written on his
tory's pages,
No legends make
note of this
lurktest man -
Hut happier lie than
thu Htatsmnen
and sages,
Me scooped tne mat pastry iroin out
of Its pan!
Old Cadmus, who fashioned the first of
eur lattara.
But what did they know of the primal
pie Joy?
Copcraleus! What Is Copernicus famed
for?
Archimedes, Euclid, snd all of that
crew?
And Caesar and Brutus and ull that
they gamed for
O. what were great kingdoms, without
pie, too?
Proud Shakespeare held sway In the
kingdom dramatic.
But what would he care for his with
ering wreath
If he might have felt the sensation re
static
Of bringing the very first pie to his
teeth?
A*
I would not have cured for the luster of
Nero,
The honors of Pliny, the glamour of
Watts,
The plaudits of Fahrenheit when he
found sero—
The man who found file la the chief In
my thoughts
Mo. K\ rn Columbus and ell he discov
ered
I ark charms to my mind, for 1 long
and 1 sigh
To have been he who found what de
lightfulness hovered
Between the criap crusts of the very
first plo!
PUTTING OUT FIRE ON WATER.
German Invention Probably the Best
That Has Yet Been Devised for
That Purpose.
It fulls to the lot of few to set the
river on tire, itnU despite the tradition
that the feat Is the quickest way to
fame, the names of thorn who have
done it never seem to survive.
But that tunny n man can, and does,
set a river on fire Is so true that In
vention litis had to concern Itself
with means for putting out those very
blazes.
They occpr usually when petroleum,
gasoline or some other liquid hydro
carbons spread on the water's surface
and happen to lie ignited before their
spread lias too greatly broken up and
thinned them. Whole ports, with their
chipping, are endangered.
In Germany they have devised two
solutions, which, mingling as they are
poured. Instantly r’ise a thick, tena
cious foam. One solution Is composed
of potash, alum and sodium sulphate
and licorice root extract.
The soapsuds appearance of the
foam in reality covers an Inert gas,
which, spreading over the entire burn
ing surface, acts as a blanket and In
stantly kills the flames for want of
oxygen.
Animals Are Poor Sailors.
The polar bear is the only wild ani
mal that likes a trip on tlie waves, ac
cording to a French scientist who lias
just studied its behavior at sea. He
is quite jolly when aboard ship, but
all tlie other animals violently re
sent such a voyage and vociferously
give vent to their feelings until sea
sickness brings silence.
t he tiger suffers most of all. He
whines pitifully, his eyes water con
tinually and he rubs his stomach with
his terrible paws. Horses are bad
sailors and often die on a sea voy
age
Oxen are heroic in their attempts
not to give way to sickness. Kle
phants do not like the sea, but they
are amenable to medical treatment
A good remedy is a bucketful of hot
water containing three and a half
pints of whisky and seven ounces of
quinine.—Fur News.
They Didn’t Have to Change.
During the years in whicli our pure
food laws have been put into effect
there has been a great hurrying and
scurrying on the part of the food man
ufacturers to change their methods to
make them conform to the law.
The Quaker Oats Company is a con
spicuous exception. It was admitted
that Quaker Oats was as pure und
clean as possible and that it was an
ideal food.
It is so cheap that any one can af
ford it and so nourishing that every
one needs it. The result of last year's
experiments at Yale and other points
where food values were tested is that
Quaker Oats has been adopted by
many persons as their food on which
they rely for adding vigor and endur
ance of muscle and brain.
The Quaker Oats Company meets
till demands in the way it packs
Quaker Oats; regular size packages
und the large size family package;
Ihe latter both with and without
china. 4
COOK HAD BECOME FIXTURE
Much Wonderment at Social Matrons'
Meeting Before the New Mem
ber Explained.
It Kan almost the unanimous opin
ion at the Social Matrons' meeting
(hat it was Impossible to keep a cook
more than a month without changing.
"However," announced the presi
dent, "if any person present knows
of an exceptional ease let her speak!"
At this the New Member timidly
arose in their midst. "The exception
is in my house," she said.
This caused the others to sit up.
"How long have you bad your
cook?" quizzed the president.
“Over five years."
For a moment the others stared in
amazement; then heads began to hob
in admiration and more heads began
to swing sideways in vigorous dis
trust of this statement.
“Is lids cook entirely satisfactory
as a cook?"
“My husband thinks not, but she
stays, nevertheless."
“How do you manage to keep her,
then?"
"Because she won't go.”
“Aha!"
This ejaculation which escaped from
the president's mouth was flashed like
magic through the meeting until it
became a huge wave.
The president regarded the New
Member witli half pity, half scorn.
"New Member,” said she, the. next
moment, "Instead of advancing a case
in which a long-sought solution might
have been found, you expose yourself
ns being worse olT than any of your
sisters. You show that by allowing
this cook to stay over the month you
have enabled the menial to attain and
hold an ascendancy over you and your
husband just the tiling this society
tins so long fought against! No doubt
you rue tills day. New Member?"
"I do not!” she replied, bridling
through tin' sniffs and tart insinua
tions that scintillated about her, "fof
in my house I am the cook!"
V* V
Devotion to Sarah.
That matinee girls in an exaggerated
form are not specialties of this country
is evidenced by the follow lag from a
Paris paper:
"They were a bevy of about ten
young girls, seated yesterday morning
on a bench opposit 5G Boulevard Pe
re ire.
"Why? They were awaiting tlie re
turn home of Mine, Sarah Bernhardt
from a triumphal tour of the north of
France, for which she had used an au
tomobile for the first time.
"The girls knew very well that Mine.
Bernhardt was due to arrive yesterday,
but—at what time? Having no pre
cise Information on that point, they
had begun mounting guard at nine in
tiie morning before the home of their
idol. Noon cume—one o'clock—but
no automobile.
“But they were not discouraged.
Bather than desert (heir post they de
cided to lunch right there on the
bench.
“Two o'clock, three, four. At last
there is the honk of a horn. The ten
girls pick up ten bouquets and rush to
ward the approaching automobile.
"A radiant smile from Sarah is their
reward, and they trip away, quite
happy."
Holland Lives Up to Her Pictures.
Holland is one European country
that looks like her pictures. There
is no better use for the word quaint
Ilian to apply it to Holland. The
fanners really wear wooden shoes.
The land really is diked. Black and
white Holstein cattle really pervade
the landscape. The men really wear
blue jeans shirts outside their trousers
as they work in the fields. On hun
dreds of heads of women in any
crowd the silver hair baskets, covered
with lace net, really may be seen. The
girls and women are really red
cheeked, without artificial coloring.
The fields really abound with wild
Gowers and windmills really sway
their gaunt, awkward arms in the
wind. There is no sham, no pomp
and splendor, no loss and feather in
the country. One gets tie.1 impression
of a rugged, sham-hating, simple,
kind-hearted, hopeful race in going
through Holland.—From William Al
len bite s Letter to the Emporia tia
zettc
A Few Words to Fools,
There is a fool born every minute,
so we are told, but there is also a
great mortality among them. There
are fewer active ones alive to-day
than there were last week, or than
there will be next Monday morning.
It seems useless to say much to this
kind of people, but we do wish to give
a few suggestions in the interest o(
those who are not fools, but friends
and relatives of fools.
t'nless you are an expert boatman,
do not take a boat out on the water
and in no event unless you are able
to control all those who are in it.
Do not try to see how deep you can
dive nor how far you can swim into
danger.
Do not try to see if your automo
bile can make 70 miles an hour, as
guaranteed by the man from whom
you bought it.
I)o not blow your brains out simply
because the girl doesn’t like you or
because \ou can’t pay your debts. Let
others do the worrying.
A Good Excuse.
He—Confound it! We’ve been sit
ting on wet paint.
She—Yes, dear. I know we have.
He—And you never told me!
She—Don't be angry, dearest. You
had just begun to tell me that you
loved me. and how could 1 interrupt
you?
-I
Prepare
for
Winter
THE OLD
STANDBY
The New
Round Oak
Base Burner
SOLD BY
J. C. TANNER
A Short Talk
I have purchased the tailoring
establishment formerly conduc
ted by John Wilson, and I take
this means of introducing my
self to the public. In addition
to high-class tailoring I will in
stall a French Cleaning Mach
ine. All work guaranteed.
A TRIAL ORDER IS ALL THAT IS ASKED
H. Nothdorf
V_/
POSTPONED
PUBLIC SALE
OF TOWN LOTS
EATING HOUSE AND COTTAGES
FALLS CITY, NEB.
Saturday, Oct. 16
We are having surveyed and plotted into lots the Con Reagan blocks, in the city of Falls City, Nebraska, north of the
B. k M. depot, and will on October oth, 1909, at 1:30 o’clock P. M., offer for sale to the highest bidder Fifty Choice
Lots. These lots are all well located and will be an ideal place for a home; are especially finely located for railroad em
ployees. We will also offer for sale the 15-room Goolsby Railroad Eating House and Lunch Counter, all furnished,
situated across street from the B. & M. depot. Will also sell three cottages, well located for homes or rentab property.
Retiring farmer, if you are contemplating leaving'the farm
don’t make a mistake by going to some little village and
putting your money into the kind of home you deserve. If
vou should make this mistake, when you want to sell you
qould.not sell it for as much as the lumber cost, and you have
no advantages in the village, Come to balls City, as it is
not only a city of 4,000 people, but it is the county seat of
one of the best counties in the state, where all the county’s
business must be transacted. With tine schools of highest
grade, and churches of most all denominations, where there
are high-class lectures and entertainment, and where prop
erty of all kinds is advancing. There is not a farmer who
came to this city and bought property who has not made
monev bv so doing, and you can do the same by buying
L£T US P7c7<\
YOB our
A BARG Am
//y ^
A H
ftOMt (f
J \ U
from us. For those desirinjy to retire from active farming or business lite, there never can be no better location oDtaineu.
YOUNG MAN, YOUNG WOMAN, you had better invest a few spare dollars in good lots in balls City, and reap
for yourself a handsome profit. The Missouri Pacific Division is now assured, work on same having ahead
commenced, and the sooner you buy property in this city the greater will be vour profit, for as soon as the dhision \u,f •
is completed property will advance rapidly. Property will never be as cheap in balls C ity as it is right now.
FALLS CITY
is one of the liveliest towns on the map of Nebraska, halls City has-=,Electi ic lights, owned by the city,
city w ater works, owned by the city; public library; city hall; four public school buildings; Catholic convent,
business college; city park and auditorium, owned by the city; ten churches three church buildings now
under course of erection; 100 business firms; 12 fraternal organizations; many dwellings now going up.
Remember, this sale will take place on the tract of land to be sold; so you will see just what you are buy -
jug. I'ree hacks will be run from the city to the sale grounds, for information phone ibiS=2i6=i3i = -52
Terms of SaJe, One-kaJf Cask. Balance on Good, Easy Terms
J. C. WHITAKER, Auctioneer WHITAKER BROS.
H. B. WILLARD, Clerk JOHN W. POWELL