The Point in Question
THE KINDLY CRITIG
The Georgia watermelon is here,
ami is being sold by the pound.
They are a little high, but they are
the real thing—sweet,red and lucious.
To enjoy a melon properly one should
never eat it when there is "company"
in the house—decorum and Chester
fieldan manners are out of place when
eating a good melon, cut lengthwise.
It is really sacrilege to use a knife,
fork or spoon when eating a section
of a good melon. If one is of a bil
ious nature, a dyspeptic or has
indigestion, the use of table tools
is admissible, but if you are healthy
and a connoisseur in melons, and you
are alone with your God and a gener
ous slice, take your portion up in
your hands, firmly clasped nt each
end, fall to, and let joy be unconfined
"Now if l was running a Chautau
qua, I'd give the people more vari
ety." It was Jimmy, the “roughneck"
talking and he was occupying liis fav
orite seat in the barber shop—the
"shiners' ” chair. “You see,” he
continued, “people tire of too much
talk and singing, atul particularly
singing by quartets that double anti
treble in brass, Irish monologues,
readings and Indian dances. I'd of
put on two last ones with the gloves,
—just a harmless bout for points—
and I'll bet you the people would have
enjoyed it, because any crowd that
will get noisy and give the haw haw
to that story of six apples for five
cents, five tor four cents, four for
three cents, three for two cents,
two for one cent and one for nothing,
V'hy, say, those easy ‘marks' would
gather in a crop of joy over a glove
contest that would last them a year.
No, sir, they don’t furnish the right
stuff.”
It is human to “kick,” the same
as it is to err. I asked a farmer one
day this week concerning his wheat
crop. Said he, “It went front the
thresher to the elevator at $1.00 per
bushel; the best success I ever had
at wheat raising.” The conversation
veered around finally to tariff matters
tind the howl this same wheat raiser
put up when speaking of the possible
increase in value of socks was some
thing that would not appear well in
print What's the use of worrying
titer socks that ate s'ill unboughc?
There have been worse conditions in
this country than dollar wheat and
dear socks. I've seen the day right
here in Nebraska whore my friend,
Die wheat raiser, didn't wear socks
in August.
She was from the rural districts,
and one could easily see that a Sun
day night session of the Chautauqua
was an event in her life. The band
concert was on. and the last strains;
of “The Poet and Peasant” had scar
cely died away, when she inquired of
her young companion: “that is beau
tiful, but I don't remember it as
being among the Gospel Hymns.” No,
grandma, that melody is not in the
song books of the churches, but for
all that it is beautiful, and from lands
of sun to lands of snow, it soothes
the listener and for a time makes
- him forget the everyday cares of life.
Being beautiful it is appropriate upon
all occasions.
£ - ■>' ;
“You may say what you please to
the contrary, but the good that men
do is heralded about in a much more
noisy and conspicuous manner than
the good that Women do." It may be
that the woman who uttered the above
has a predilection for woman's suf
frage and is biased in her opinions
—I don't know as to that.; but opine
that there is a modicum of truth in
I her assertion. Said she further, "1
know of a recent case where a man
sent fruit and flowers to one who was
suffering, and the praise, the lauda
tion and advertisement he received
in return was beyond reason and
good taste. ‘A prince,’ one gushing
woman called him. Why 1 know of
one woman in Falls City who lias
been closing the eyes and crossing
the hands of the dead all of her life
for friend and neighbor and does
it so quietly, so modestly—as if it
were her boundcn duty—that no one
thinks anything of it. No one speaks
of her as a princess or queen on ac
count of her charitable disposition.
The sick and suffering look for her,
always, and she never fails them,
for it is a part of her life's work to
‘minister unto’ the sick. And then
there is another point in this
woman's favor—she is not running
for office.”
I raw a little comedy enacted at the
Chautauqua grounds Saturday night
that was not down upon the program,
and 1 enjoyed its finale, to say the
least. ! saw an old man trip over a
guy-rope of one of the tents and fall
in an awkward manner. Two young
ladies suspended the mastication of
their gum long enough to enjoy a
hearty laugh, even though the old
man appeared dazed by his fall. A
moment later one of the young ladies
backed onto a tent rope and fell
backwards in a most ludicrous man
ner—she simply sat down, and in
i most emphatic way too. And
strange to say, she had no giggle for
her own mishap. I laughed at her
misfortune, but l kept away from the
guy-ropes all the rest of the even
ing.
Uncle Pewee Nobs says anybody
can lecture. He says you can buy
lectures in bunches from eastern man
ufacturers, and that all you have to j
do is to commit them to memory and
push your chest out and make ’em
laugh. He says a man told him of
a case where a Chautauqua hired a
man to lecture, whose subject was i
“Sparks From the Anvil,” and that |
the following year another man came
along and gave the same lecture un
der the name of “Rat, tat, tat.” But
Uncle Pewee attended five entertain
ments—he had a complimentary—and
his friends say it was- a great sight
to see him with a white collar on
and bis hair combed all through the
week.
President Cyrus Northrop, of the j
University of Minnesota, says:
“There is a feeling among certain
classes of people that it is (listin-j
guished not to know anything about j
the Bible. The average freshman, or
senior, especially in the East, does
not know whether Moses was one
of the twelve apostles or not.”
Lot's see, was it not a college pro
fessor that said all of our old church
hymns were void of sense or har
mony? Was it not the head of a
great univerity that said Longfellow’s
poems were mere doggerel? Was it
not a college professor who claimed
he had found the soul of
a frog? Have not all doubts as to
the authenticity of the story of the
creation of man, the story of Jonah
and the whale, the story of Joshua
commanding the sun to stand still
in fact all points of heresy—eman
ated from some pup at the head of a
college or university? If students
come home from college with addled
brain and freak apparel and ideas it
is little wonder, because some of
the greatest asses of the Universe are
at the heads of colleges.
WANTED!
HORSES
MARES
and MULES
Fat and broke to work — from 4 to 8
years old. Bring in your stock and
get the highest market price, at
Mettz' Sole Pavilion, in
Polls City, Sat., Aug. 7
J. W. OWENS
Most Extensive Dealer in United States.
I
I I—.... .
--
WATSON TELLS
A STORY
By J. L, HARBOUR
I -- --'
(Copyright, by J. li. Llppineolt Co.)
Watson likes to tell a story, ami ho
is aware of the fact that he tells one
uncommonly well when he can tell
it in his own way. I!ut this privilege
is not always accorded him when
Mrs. Watson Is around, and she was
with him at a delightful little* dinner
party the Rayburns were giving the
other evening. Watson was in his
best story-telling mood and he had a
capital new story to tell. He was sure
that no one at the table but Mrs. Wat
son had heard it. lie awaited his
opportunity, and during a lull in the
general conversation he began with:
“Oh, by the way, I heard a capital
little story at the club the other eve
! nlng. It is a new Hebrew story
! Charley Dwight told me. He said
j that—“
“Why, Mr. Watson, 1 thought It
was Harry Ross who told you that
story?” interrupted Mrs. Watson.
“No, my dear, it was Dwight who
, told me. He said—"
“1 am quite sure that you said it
was Harry Ross who told you the
1 story when you told me. Is it the
! story about tlie two Jews at a dinner
party, and one of them—”
“Yes, yes, it is that story, and
Dwight said that—"
“l renn inber very distinctly that
you said it was Mr. lioss. You know
you said that lie—”
“Well, well, perhaps I did say Itoss
when 1 meant Dwight. Itoss was
present. Hut it don’t matter which
one told tlie story.”
. “Of course not, only it is best to be
accurate.”
“Dwight said that—”
“You mean Ross.”
“Well, Ross said that a couple of
Sheenys were—”
“Don’t say ‘Sheenys,’ dear.it sounds
so disrespectful.”
“I don't mean any disrespect,
and—’’
“It is always best to say what one ,
means, and ‘Sheeny’ is not only dis
respectful, but it is vulgar.”
“Well, these two Jews, Goldstein
and Rosenbaum, were at a dinner
party, and—”
“You said their names were Schloss
and Strauss when you told me the
story.”
“Oh, the names don't matter.”
“I suppose not, but, as I say, it is '
best to be accurate.”
“Dwight said that these Jews were
at a dinner-party, and—”
“1 thought it was a public banquet,
dear?” said Mr&. Watson, gently.
“Oh. well, what's the difference?
Anyhow—”
“There is a good deal of difference
between a dinner-party and a public :
banquet.”
“Very well, call it a banquet, then.’
“I wouldn't if it wasn't a banquet.”
“Anliow, there were solid silver
spoons on the table, and—”
“Then it must have been a dinner
party. One never sees solid silver at
a public banquet.”
“I didn't say it was a public ban
quet.”
“I didn't say that you did, my dear
boy.”
"Well, the point of the story is that
during the progress of the dinner
Goldstein took one of the solid silver
spoons and slipped it into his shoe,
and—” -•
“I don't see how he could have done
that unobserved,” remarked Mrs. Wat
son.
“He did, according to the way the
story goes, and—”
“It don’t seem reasonable.”
"Ixits of good stories are unreason
able. Rosenbaum saw Goldstein put
the spoon into his shoe, and—”
“Oh, it wasn’t that way. You are
getting ahead of the story. When you
told it to me you said—”
“I am telling it just as Dwight told
it to me. He said—”
“Don’t you remember that you said
Dwight said—only it was Ross—that
Goldstein—only I'm quite confident
you said the name was Strauss—that
he said before putting the spoon into
bis shoe: ‘Ladies and gentle
men, I—”
“No, no, no! It was Rosenbaum
who said that when he got a spoon a
little later. He said—”
“It don’t seem to me that that was
the way of it. I am quite sure that—”
What she was “quite sure" of re
mains a mystery to this day, for at
that moment the hostess gave the sig
nal for the guests to rise, and the
story Watson had privately re
hearsed in his room was never told,
and this is no place in which to di
vulge what Watson said to his wife
on their homeward way.
Potatoes Keep Well in Coke.
Consul General Richard Buenther of
Frankfort, reports that a German pub
lication, the Practical Adviser in Fruit
Raising and Gardening, states that a
new’ method for keeping potatoes and
preventing sprouting consists in plac
ing them on a layer of coke. Dr. Schil
ler of Brunswick, who has published
the method, is of the opinion that the
improved ventilation by means of
coke is not alone responsible for the
result, but believes that it is due to
the oxidation of the coke, which, how
ever, is a very slow one. Coke always
contains sulphur, and it is very pos
sible that the minute quantities of
oxides of carbon and sulphur, which
result from the oxidation, mixing with
the air and penetrating among the po
tatoes are sufficient to retard sprout
ing. Potatoes so treated are said to
keep in good condition until the fol
lowing July.
r AT THE 1
VERY LAST
By CYNTHIA GREY
“Is this the plnoe, aunty?1'
“Yes, Bluebell."
“Anil is tills the very Spot where
you fell after the man said good-by to
you?"
“Yea.”
“Then you lay back on the beautiful
green moss and shut your eyes, for
your ankle hurt just awfully, and then
a dog w hineil rlose to your ear and
you opened your eyes right into the
big. beautiful black eyes of a very
tall, handsome knight, who lifted you
up in his arms aud carried you to
yonder gate."
“You know the story well, but you
must not forget that it is a secret."
“1 have not forgotten, but you nnd
1 may talk of it here.”
"Yi s. you and 1 may talk of it—until
to morrow."
“To-morrow you are to be mar
riel. \Vhat is he like, that man you
are lo marry—like the knight?"
“.Vo, child, no! l.et as talk now of
the knight, and not of of him!”
“And after lie readied the gate,"
continued the child, “he lifted you
way. way up high onto the horse nnd
walked, yes, walked every step of the
way to the house close beside you,
didn't he?"
"Yes, nnd then?”
"And tlien after that ho came to the
house to see you and brought you
(lowers, and books, anil music, and
grew to love you very much, and you
loved him, and didn’t know It. for
a long time, nnd when you found out
you sent him away because—for—1
never knew just for what you Bent
him away, aunty.”
“For honor, Bluebell.''
“Whose honor?”
"A woman's honor, dear, a woman’s
honor,” groaned the woman, and to
herself: “Heaven knows I love him
Still, and to-night Clarence comes
back, and to-morrow 1 shall marry
him because I promised—promised,
before I knew what love meant.”
"Who was the man who was saying
good-by to you just before you fell,
aunty? You never told me.”
"His name,” said the woman, slow
ly, "was Clarence Duncan.”
There was a sound of footsteps on
the gravel path.
' You have come,” said the woman,
rising from among the shadows about
the door, and she held out her hand.
He pressed liis lips to her cool
forehead. “It seems natural to be
bark,” exclaimed Clarence, ns he fol
lowed her into the hall. ”[ always
hung my hat on that hook and my
coat here. I think 1 expected to sec
the house In dress-up clothes, ready
for (he—for to-morrow.”
"It will all be very simple and
quiet,” said the woman, "If that
pleases you.”
“The simpler the better for me, all
right,” said the man, laughing.
There was the sound of small feet
running down the hall. "Aunty, aunty,
here’s a letter, I put It away this
morning and forgot it," and nine- i
hell clung to her aunt's skirts in a
tremor of remorse. "Please read it
right away, for it may be 'portant,
you know.”
To humor the child she tore open
the letter. "Make yourself comfort
able, Clarence; you always liked this
chair,” and she drew the letter from
the envelope.
The letter was without beginning
plunging at once Into a subject which
evidently absorbed the writer.
“I know I ought not to write to you
hut I am sure you would understand
and forgive me If you knew how my
heart aches. Clarence doesn’t know
that I am writing. He went away as
soon as we found out how much we
cared for each other. He Is coming
back to you because he promised, long
ago, and he is breaking his heart and
mine. I thought, maybe, If you knew
you would save us. Forgive me, for
give me, 1 am so unhappy.”
"This letter will interest you, Clar
ence.”
"So,” smiled Clarence; “it is a wom
an’s writing—why—” and he flushed
hotly, "she should not have writ
ten; I—I—”
"Read it,” said the woman, softly.
"The letter is very important. Blue
bell. it has something to do with our
secret. Will you tell the story to Mr.
Duncan ?”
“The one about the handsome
knight?”
"Yes.”
The little girl told the story to the
wondering man, pausing here and
there to look at her aunt, who al
ways nodded for her to go on. “And at
the very last—but this part is all my
secret, for I have never told even
aunty—at the very last, the knight
came back on his big black horse that
pranced and jumped and made aunty
and the knight laugh a great deal."
That night Hugh Vernon received a
telegram which read: "All is well;
can you come home?”
Less to Do.
"The late Russell Sturgis," said a
New York architect, "continually
marveled at the swift passage of time.
This great architect and critic con
tinually found new examples of the
swift way men grow old and ugly
while still believing themselves
young.
“He repeated to me one day a re
mark he had heard in a barber shop.
"An old chap, with hardly a hair on
his head, snapped at the young bar
ber, on the completion of a haircut:
“ You are not the thorough work
man your father was, my boy. He
used to take a good half-hour to cut
my hair.’ ”
You Ought To Go
Somewhere
To the East: The lowest rates in years are daily in effect to
all eastern resorts, including Lake trips, circuit tours of the East,
the St. Lawrence region, Boston, New ^ ork, Atlantic City. Ex
tremely attractive fiO-day vacation tours of the East.
To the West: The lowest rates in years for the Pacific Coast
tour, including the Seattle Exposition; the greatest railroad journey
in the world. $50 00, round trip, $15.00 more through California.
Yellowstone Park: August is the height of the Park season,
either for side trips on a Coast journey, or for a tour of the Park.
Inquire about the 18-day personally conducted Park camping tours
made from Cody via the scenic entrance—a tour appealing to the
highest class of travel,
Daily low rates to Denver, Colorado Springs, Pueblo, Estes
Park, Cody, Sheridan, Wyo., Hot Springs, S. D.
Get the habit of a Summer tour, and sec your own country.
mm
E. (i. Wnmoui\ Ticket Aj'ent,
L. W. VVakemjy, G. i’. A , Omnlm.
FARMERS
YOU BETTER HURRY
t-i
and get one of our DEERING BINDERS with
which to cut your grain this year. It needs
no expert to run it. Just try one and be con
vinced. We are really too busy to write an
ad, but will say this: That you are welcome
any time at our place of business, and we can
show you some of the most UP-TO-DATE
BUGGIES and SURRIES in town. Remember
we lead them all.
(§£•* Call and see our engines, Cream Separa
rators, Hay 'Pools, Plow Goods and Manure
Spreader, in fact, everything in the implement
line.J |lt willjpay you to get our prices.
Call and seeus bsfore you buy
WERNER MOSIMAN & CO.
Special Sale of Fancy China
■OTtrr ..
We will make special prices on all our Fancy China, and
have some of the stock displayed in our south window
with the regular and special prices. W e have the
Largest Stock of Cut Glass, Fancy China
and Dinnerware
in the county, and a full stock of good Groceries and
Fruits at
Chas. M. Wilson’s
Seasonable Suggestions
To be Found Here:
I*.—■»-*»■*> •— ~ 1
g§§Lowe Bros.’ Paint ««« ^ -J
' Pittsburgh ElectricallyPAVelded Fencing
^7 Fishing|TackleDand*Sporting Goods'* *?
^Alaska and White Frost Refrigerators Sf§
"Call Our Tinner Before the Spring'Rains ■>*
j. c tann;er
jT; ' r[ Fa I IsC i t y| Nebr a s k a
Plu mbi ngpUr, r d ware
FALLS CITY CHAUTAUQUA
JULY 24th to August 1st
