Nebraska Newspapers

    fiy the Greatest
American Humorists
MEDIUM-SIZED
JOURNEYS
By STRICKLAND W. QILLILAN
v---/
Henry F. Cfcero had Helvla for a
mother and a Helllva father, accord
ing to Plutarch, who wrote me about
it in answer to my request for some
first-hand biographical data. He was
called Cicero because there was a
mark on the end of his nose that
looked like a vetch, and a vetch is a
clcer. 1 would tell you what vetch
• meant if I knew; then you would
know what cicer meant.
He was the peanut-brittle kid of his
class at school but took to poet/y.
When they had cured him of that he
went to school quite awhile in town,
and studied elocution. When he would
be at home, none of his mother's
friends would come to their house for
fear he would be asked to recite
“Lasca," of “The Hoy Stewed on the
Hurning Deck,” for them.
He practiced in (lie squire’s court
awhile and got to he a right good petti
fogger. Once he tried a ease in which
the main squeeze, William P. jSylla,
was prosecuting, and won it. Cicero
heard that Sylla was looking for him
with a gun, and so he went away from
there. Also Cicero’s tumm.v gave him
lots of trouble. He had eaten once
at a lunch counter at a railway sta
tion when he was away at school and
had never recovered from it. Put he
got some better, and returned when a
postcard from home told him Sylla had
quit looking for him.
Throughout his entire life, Cicero
was noted for his keenly appreciative
qualities. This wonderful faculty of
appreciation was largely used on him
self. No man stood better with Cicero
than he did. and no man in ihe empire
thought more of Cicero than lie
thought' himself. Charity began at
home, with him, all right.
In cross-questioning he was a regu
lar sass-box. Many an Innocent man
pTended guilty and served a jail sen
tence nit her than bo cross-questioned
by him. If the witness or the prisoner
had goitre or lame legs or a wart on
his chin or if his father had not been
honest, Cicero joyfully threw it up to
the Victim in public, and didn’t seem
to know but that he was being real
smart in doing so. Jn many ways he
reminded one of a skunk, though ho
had good qualities.
Catalina lived thi n, and didn’t aim
to overlook any opportunities for orn
eriness. Once some one got into Cat
Cicero Heard That &ylla Was Lock
ing for Him with a Gun.
iltne's tl- \ n i found a 1ett« >■ from'
Arch: bold plotting against the stale. 1
This was r* . rU' i to Cicero, v, !>o got |
busy'and made Cad;: • o uneasy that
he gathered un •" lei of d'reha-ged
Bro ' ' !e sehiii-!a .old went away'
with as a b d; ymrd, Jrh? ora*- ’
tion Cicero deliverI on theae occa
sion: have nr-.-: • iionble for every
boy o:l girl that !) ■ non along a bit
in Latin. Lein;.; off rod the territorial
governorship of Macedonia and of
Gaul, lie to k Macedonia. lie didn't
-■need an; Gaul. (NV.y see what some
thing made' me do!)
Cluerw. wis: 1 i m; was pruieemim; ai
toin* was ilio Frauds J. Henoy of
hi* v.'k' a c.^diiw w. ■ f
Lem'il'w k-ffa, of whom Plu
tarch jocosely says "he had a good
la mi: but a ills* 'Hite liver," raised a
rue lion and piled excelsior soaked in
oil in llicj ferry buk Logs and the city
hail and the opera house and Hi 1 flat
iron buikiki- ; ku:i;.'d to .at iiro
to all of them and whack up on the
insurance, Cicero sent turns around
in d:-guise and found out the whole
thing, so that afterward th senate‘ac
cused him of abusing the secret serv
ice privileges. Cicero took part per
sonally in killing JLentulus and liis
gang, who are still dead, as we go
to press.
Afterward the opposition got into
the saddle and Claudius had a warrant
issued for Cicero, who immediately
started out to rouse people's sympathy
for him. This was a mighty cheap but
mighty keen piece of work on Cicero’s
part, and got him a lot of Coley’s army
camp-followers. So after he had
skipped out awhile to avoid subpoena
and had come back, he was stronger
with the mob than ever, and was
elected road supervisor with a good
majority.
Throughout his life Cicero was cor
dially loved and despised by the poli
ticians and common people. His health
was always pretty poor, and sometimes
he felt so badly that he had to be a
vegetarian nearly all day. When he
was through with politics he went to
Africa to hunt lions, and things were
much quieter in Rome.
(Copyright, 1909, by W. <3. Chapman.)
I (t
< —MM—^
(Copyright, by J. U. I.lpplmott Co.)
He had been sentenced for three
years, and now they were ended
Thrice during those three years ills
wife had come to him. Once she had
brought Barton. She was coming to
day, he remembered. He wondered if
Barton would come as well.
The prison hell clanged six. Pre
cisely on the last stroke of the trem
bling monster the huge iron gates
swung slowly inward, the figure of a
man slouched through, keeping step to
a soundless rhythm, and the gates
clashed behind him, with a vibrating
sweep that sent the blood racing
through his veins.
The woman by the roadside waited,
pressing one hand hard against her
heart.
“Molly! Molly!” he exclaimed, wild
ly. “At last! All these years, and
now—”
He drew back at the chill touch of
her lips.
“What is it?" he instinctively asked.
The man in the background held out
his hand.
“Well, Fraser,” he said heartily,
"glad to see you, "old chap. Not quite
up to the mark, arc.you?" he added
sympathetically; “but we’ll soon make
that right.”
For an instant the old Fraser ap
peared through the prison mask. He
involuntarily straightened himself,
and his eyes sought his wife’s.
"Tha'nks, Barton,” he said quietly.
Then, with a tender ring in his voice—
“Aren’t you glad, Molly?" he asked
beseechingly.
“Of course, .Tim,” answered Molly
quietly. "Why shouldn’t I be glad
when my husband is free from prison
walls ?”
"But, Molly," he stammered, "you
•—you speak so oddly!”
"Do I?” She laughed a little. “It's
your imagination, Jim. Let's sit down
“Jimp
on this rock a while. I'm so tired,” i
she added drearily.
He looked at her with close attcn- !
tiou. Barton’s figure was visible round
ing a headland a few feet away.
‘‘You’re a little pulled down, ’ oily, j
dear, but we'll have you right, again in i
no time,” lie said cheerfully. ' Now i
that I’m free to use fhy brains once i
more, you and Margie sha'n't want for !
anything. How is Margie?” be sud
denly asked.
"She's well,” his wife answered list- :
lessiy.
He took off his bat, baring bis head j
to the twilight breeze.
IIis wife kept bar eyes fixed on a j
tuft of yellow daisies it her feet. Her
voice was pry low.
"Where are you goi?ig, Jim?"
"Where am 1 going!" lie stan d at ,
her in amazement. "Why, home, of j
course.' Molly, what’a the m tier with
you ?”
She sprang to her feet and fa ■ J ;
him fiercely, her loosened hair bk>w- i
ing in the wind.
"You’re not corning to my home!” j
she cried, a bitter, concentrated ring
of rage-in her clear tones. ‘‘You’re not
coming to mine! Do you think, James*!
Fraser, that I’ve toil d end skive J all !
these years that you ni'riht have a
frgble r:i.: ■*. :o aroii
off your prison fette s it your leisure?
Do you think (hat Ui.s and ms
grace '.'man noth, g 1/ ■ • owl
edge that our name is blighted, and
that, wherever we go, we are likely
to be pointed at and scorned? Do you
tlynk I can brush this know led ■
aside, as 1 would brush away a fly? Do
you think I have enjoyed slaving h i
hours a day, with this retnenibranc ■
raging at my heart and brain! Am
what does your coming out mean t"
me," she cried shrilly, her eyes aflame
and her bosom heaving. “It means
ruin—ruin. Margie and I have moved.
People where we are now don't know
you. They don’t even know that I
have a husband! They respect us, and
now our lives will be ruined for the
second time, and—by your hand!”
At her first words Fraser had
sprung up like a man shot through the
heart. He swayed as he stood leaning
heavily against the rock.
"Molly!” he gasped. “You never
said—”
"No, I never.said anything,” she in
terrupted. “It’s been eating my heart
out, and you never even suspected it. I
never can live with you again,” she
said coldly. Her eyes repelled him.
She extracted a shabby pocketbook
from her dress, and wi,th shaking fin
gers undid the fastenings. "I have
brought you some money," she said
shortly. “I do this, as I have done all
the rest, because you were once iny
husband, and because I still bear your
name, hut now I have done my duty,
and this is the end of it." She ex
tended the money rigid)'
Ho tossed It contemptuously over
the rock. The beautiful virgin sky
had suddenly grown dark. With n
fierce pang, he felt a wild rush of
longing for'the solitude of his prison
cell. At this moment his wife seemed
less a woman to him than a disturbing
element in his long cherished plans,
lie flushed darkly. To wait three years
—for this!
He crossed over and laid one arm
on her bowed shoulders.
“Molly," he said huskily. "Molly, you
don't know what you're saying—you
don’t know what you're doing. There
hasn't been an hour in the day or
night that I haven’t been planning for
you and Margie. My Clod! You knew
1 was innocent—you knew I didn’t
take tlie money. What if all the others
believed me guilty! You knew—you
didn't doubt me!" He stooped entreat
ingly. His eyes besought her.
"Come, Moll,” he said gently, “let us
go home."
She looked at the blue vault above,
where the stars were beginning to
tremble. The croak of the crickets
came shrilly to her ears.
'1 can't,” she said somberly—"1
can’t. Every stitch that I put into
that hateful coarse sewing seemed to
take iue farther away from you. Oh!”
she suddenly cried out, “let me go!
Let me go!” Hhe twisted her hands
convulsively. “You don't know—you
can't understand!”
The man was trembling like a
wounded animal. With a miserable
gesture he raised his torn hat as he
stumbled blindly away.
Barton, approaching from the oppo
site direction, start 1 in blank bewil
derment at the retreating figure.
‘‘Good heavens!” he ejaculated.
"Where's he going?”
“He's going out of my existence,”
replied Molly simply.
Barton whirled round on her. “What
do you mean?” he abruptly Inquired.
Molly stood at bay. She knew Bar
ton well enough to divine how her at
titude would affect him, and she hesi
tated to reveal it. Already, in her
mind, little clouds of doubt were form
ing. In these three years Barton had
been her friend and stay, the sustain
ing, helpful figure in the foreground of
her existence. At this juncture, half
unconsciously, she looked to him. Her
eyes were imploring, but Barton af
fected not to observe it. She answered
him desperately:
"We—I don’t think Jim and 1 are
suited to each other any more,”, she
said miserably.
Barton was honestly shocked.
“He's your husband," raid Barton
sternly, hurt that his unacknowledged
ideal of womanhood could be found
wanting. “1 don’t know anything
about a woman’s love,” ho said bitter
ly, "but I know how a man would feel,”
he added, Ills pity for 1friend carry
ing him away.
A look of acutes: pain swept over
Molly's b’anched fr.ee,
“You don’t uud mend—you don’t
know," she raid.i u; . ul: ively. “I don’t
love him any loir, - 1 wish 1 did—
1 wish 1 did!” she repeal d in agony.
“Poor Jim—poor old fellow!" said
Barton regretfully, the sympathy in
his voice goading her .to despair. He
seated himself on an adjacent rock
and began thought"' Uy punching holes
in the turf with his stick, He did not i
, i
meet her eyes.
“I rotrenilii t,” he said reflectively,
"someifling Jim oiff-c . d to in• • th t
time you were t o ill. He v. ; pretty
look 1 sew in thorn to-day. ‘Br.rtor;
he said, ‘if my wiTodies it's all up
with me’—and 1 could hear him msy
ing that for a week afterward ); and i
when voa \ out of d.ty, r the
whole'oil ‘’a know it, just by the giori- 1
lied look i ’i Ids Taco."
He ea: i a quick g: nice at the mo
tionless fly are by tt. rock, but her
hupds were clinch* d, and she did not
v “./fnd when Margie was born," n.ir
. go..'d enough for that liltlo moisel. lid
| an apple big enough and red er.o gu
! her eyes, I sup; * > ." kc v ant c, .
' terrogativcly, “veu iv> a a,her that I ig
I lire on Main street about six y> a;s
ago? It was aH in the papers,, o$
'course, and, wcl.—,l.o ki^man whoa*
•
oven yet. I don't know t! *,t you
’ ever heard," he rest; uod, softly,‘‘what
! were Jim’s lira; v. ords as soon as lie
, could speak. ‘Don't tell Molly,’ he
said, v ntly, and v in i you did come
! ho tried to hide Ids burned hands so
1 as nat to frighten you,”
1 His glance wandered down the
lonely retd. Silent and empty, it
stretched tvway Into the gloom of the
gathering night. In the stillness they
heard the solitary plashing of the
waves. He rose and l'acpd Molly
doubtfully.
‘‘ShiHl we go now, Mrs. Fraser?”
he politely asked. “We camnake the
: 8:15.”
She broke down with a little cry.
The next instant sue was running
swiftly down the road.
“Jim!” she called, eagerly. “Jim!”
Her voice floated over the darkening
reach of water. Barton, in the dis
tance, saw her stumble, fall, recover
herself, and press hurriedly forward.
On and on she sped, peering Into
every clump of hush searching be
hind great bowlders, straining her
' eyes over the dusty road which lay
before her, white and bare. Molly
felt that her heart was bursting. Oh,
if God would only forgive her, and
let her find Jim before (the thought
was agony) It might be too late!
Then she turned the corner and
saw him. He was coming quickly
toward her, and the light of a great
gladness in his tired eyes.
Like one stricken with unspeakable
yearning, she held out her arms.
Going! Going!
The remarkable sale we are now conducting
has set the whole town talking
Every Spring and Summer Suit MUST BE CLEARED AWAY
DURING THIS MONTH
Any $22.50 or $20.00 Suit of Clothes in our store
Now $12.50
Any $16.50 or $15.00 Suit of Clothes in our store
Now $9.50
4 Doors South ^R?chairdson
THE COMERS AND COERS
HAPPENINGS OF INTEREST TO
YOU AND ME.
-,
What Your Friends and Their
Friends Have G^en Doing
the Past Week.
I*o .'niian of Arago was
in Falls City Saturday.
Wm. )«Ili*r and family were Falls j
Citj visitors Saturday.
Sec Clarence Hcck for your goal
this fall, Phone iOl.
.Mi .tosh' Cllroy loft Saturday for
a vi: il with 1 knives at Friend, Neb.
Mr C. C. Da via entertained Miss
Gen<- m* Cross of Fktlrbury thin
wool .
H . i'.v E’iol and family from the
con! y were chautnuqua visitors I
Saturday.
Mrs. Elmer Ni.'kles of St.. Joseph,
Mo, visit* .1 this-.. week with relatives
in tiijs city.
Mfss Stella Wil -in of Columbus,
<)., visit. J this wo- 1. witii her sister,
Mrs. R, Wilson.
E. )i. Doro and wife of Salem were
tl. w.,, ,s A. It, Scad 1 and family
S urday and Sunday.
Mrs, Saiinmi St'wart of Reserve,
'.A. . spent Sunday with h r parents,
Jim DeWald and wife.
Mrs. Lloyd Morris of Bethany, vis
ited with her parents, Mr. and Mrs.
D. P. Lowe over Sunday.
Dr. J. 1). Houston of Nebraska City, j
a brother of Dr. I. M. Houston, spent
Sunday with him in this city.
dost ph -Vedrov, of Stella, Nohr.,
• i lied relatives in this city and at-,
i >'ded the Chautauqua Sunday.
May Thnaenman and Sam !!■•, r of
LuvaHin w re iiiuoia those who a!
t iuied the ehauLauqua here Sunday,
Among ibe Preston people on the,
. haufauqua grounds Sunday w :-r '.Mrs,
■ ifq Sh 11. , Joan Mohler and vrii■ •:
Among the Morrill; Has., 1> ‘OjT.
vfho uitended the ehantauqua Sunday j
were: Mr. and Mrs. C. W. Ptmce.
Mensri, Wm. B'indk and Truman!
Howard, Mrs. Spmcoons and daugh ;
i ,',i and Mr. r.nd Mrs. Haim.". M m m •
~ *wMi • mm* ' ***"* •*- g '
. New !
• t
I
’• Stationery
i
just Received
-
| All snappy designs and of j
| excellent quality. 1 he sc are
regular 35c ami 50c boxes.
We have them on sale for
two weeks only at
25c a box
Better get one before they
are gone, at
McMillan’s
Pharmacy
Opposite Postoffice Falls City, Neb.
Salem will hold an assembly on
Sunday, August 8, at the old clrnu
I a aqua grounds. The program con
tests of hand music, basket, dime is,
and a lei tare by Rev. F. IT Day of
tie- Christian church. T'lu* sutij et of
tiie address will be, "The Religions
of Yesterday, Compared With the Re
ligion of To-day.”
Roy Daggett, received ills new arti
ficial limit Saturday and soon after
was seen on the street walking with
only a very slight limp. This was
due to the newness of the limb and
will no dtfubt soon wear off. Roy is
to he congratulated on the fit and
gen* rai appearance of bis foot. -3a
I cm Judex.
Among the Verdon people at the
Chautauqua Sunday were: Mr. and Mrs.
Jay Parsons, Mr. and Mrs.1 Sig Ful
ler, Mrs. lva Ewing, Mr. and Mrs.
J. C. Ayers, Mr. and Mrs. George
Knapp, Mrs. Joe Parsons, May John
on, Wallace Vrnold and Emmejvon
Bowers.
The 11 i nk- light plant at Hum
boldt wu • out of commit -ion one
night last week on account of a
broken shaft. B.v-tlie way, Humboldt
has the best ei •etric service of any
town in southeast Nehru d a. i’ney
furnish day power t.no.
.1. ft. Cain, Jr., is tin* republican
county chairman to manage the year’s
campaign. Everything points to a
lively routes this tall nml with ninth
an able Ini- r iyr the G. O. I*, the
democrats will ha,. <o lo .it 1 iv• Iy.- -
Kulo Register,
.Mrs. Gli'ii t’Htnpbell imil little <t• ■ ■ x
ghter of Kearney spent several days
with her parents, Mr. and Mrs. I.!
(’. Mea l. They left this w • 1; for,
Omaha to • i It her later, lilt
Yat Mr . M .el a-.-aompa.nkd them |
to Omaha,
Joinisc.i;, Ni br.iska, ‘'sports” an,.l'
.,loonier bail tram. I'ivo girls, tin
re ,r boys drone d in bloomers, com*
prise* the tdnm. They had a ratine
wit). Brock tie- other day and beat
them.
\V. C. Sloan of Verdon wo i a clmtt
t.aintuit visitor Sunday. He was accom
panied home by his wife and two sons
v, let si . in I da ; ' th- hone
of John Hu'.mi-ii in ti : - city.
Misses Marlon and Naomi Towle
returned to He ir home in Omaha this
week after a visit to their grandpar
ents. Mr. and Mrs. E. S. Towle.
Mrs. Reardon of Barnstoo, Nebr.,
spent several days in the city this
week with te r brother. Win. Higgins
anil family.
/ Jean Cain 'ook hi<s i.iui' r, inoui i
and Julian and Mrs. McCoy ami on, j
Robert, to Sbdia in, the Cain auto:
Monday.
Miss Jessie With* <> who spent the j
past week in this city with friends,;
returned to her home in Stella Mon-1
day.
Homer Howe, one of the lium-j
boldt's energetic business men, was
on the Chautauqua grounds Saturday.
Rudolph Fisher and family and
Miss Julia Frauenfelder of Verdon
were Falls City visitors Saturday.
Miss Carrie Melvin of lola, Kas.,
visited with her cousins, the Misses
j lieineman, in this city.
Misses Viola Draper and Cecil
j Youngman were among the Humboldt
people here Sunday.
MisS Wanna Zimmerman of north of
| Humboldt was a Chautauqua visitor
| part of the week.
Ewing Herbert brought a party of
| young ladies over to our Chautauqua
Saturday.
Miss Nina Snow attended the chau
j tauqua here Sunday.
For the Best Ice Cream go to 1).
W. Sowles.
Herbert. Il< dges was an Auburn vis
itor Monday.
—Fcr Sale—My horse, buggy and
harness.—Harry Cueter.
Cecil Lowe is visiting his 'Mister,
Mrs. Lloyd Morris at Bellini y.
Mrs, Oliver Ileikcs of Hiawatha,
is visiting old friends in this city.
The Chautauqua grounds looked
like Humboldt the lader part of the
session.
Ainong the Salem visitors here on
Thursday were Miss Grace Ifarhmd,
Oliver Tihleu find Ruby Stouffcr.
Mrs. Charles Hedges of Indinnola,
Neh , mother of Herbert Hedges, vis
ited a few days with him this week.
Among those who attended the
chant .er a from Harnda^Averc C. F.
Ki le u 1 family ami Miss I‘.< rt.ha
'Vfiek
Ilay Hint and wife of Humboldt
W' re tlie gm.-tsof Guy Green wild and
niio while ntteudinK the chai.iiniqua
boro Sunday,
I. t ri t an<i , ife ami Jjr.Igteli*
fit l l a.el t it of Humboldt were tbs
n i -1,; of !>r, anti Mix. M. I,. Wilson
Sunday.
M ins Yotta Bl.il returned homo
from a few weeks’ \ihit with rela
tint *i d felon dr. at St. Joseph and
Kansas City, Mo,
Mrs. J. W. Cullen and daughter,
Hilitii, and Mias Nellie Weav r were
among tim Verdon people < 1 the
eiiautatujua . rounds Saturday.
Ammo the Hiawatha visitors to
our eity Smut ty were John Miller and
Mis- s Shepherd, Hansen, artd Cou
tr, < r. i’li';, ranic in an rout.mobile.
M s, William Mtiw » an*! Poloaion
Boaeiu-y of Morrill, Kan, and Art
f.Hbty and family of Sub'S 1m, wore
in Fail ('try Saturday, tin go i ts of
relit her) and friends.
P. H. Hart ami wife of Reserve,
Kan, and 5**. rry Hart, Jr., ar»l Miss
Neill ■ iVittr.'.i "r of Hiawatha, were
KaestB at the 11. B. Bn reha rd home
Sunday.
and Miss Alma Dencklt r.
!
and Prof. Gardner, of the To
ronto Quartette, said that the
Piano furnished by the Hum
boldt Piano Co., was the best
furnished on their tour of the
United States. Our Pianos are
of the better makes and we
cater to the best trade. Any
person or persons interested
in Pianos will do well to in- [
vestigate our Pianos.
OUR PRICES AND TERMS
ARE RIGHT
We have added the Kimball
and Otto Wisner to our iarge
list of good Pianos.
Cali on u> or write us
and we will call on you.
HUMBOLDT PIANO
COMPANY
HUMBOLDT, NEB.