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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (July 2, 1909)
THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE Enters! as second-class matter at Falls City. Nebraska, post office, Janu ary 12, :**n4, til der the Act of Congress on March 1,187". Published everv Friday at Falls City, Nebraska, bv Tha Tribune Publishing Company E. r SMARTS Manager One year _ fl.'-ii Si* mouths . .. ,t’> Three months - - -4b TELEPHONE 226. Announcement. 1 h* n In announce myself ns a candidate for tin office of sheriff, auljet t to tin choke of Republican volt s «ii Hit hanlson county, W. P. FERGUS. Announcement. ! In tliy announce myself a t until dote tin tin democratic: ticket for the oil it < of Ret order of Deeds, subject to tin primary election widt h will lie held on August 17th, 1H01*. If sue. itssftil iu tin nomination anil If I am elected 1 promise lo give my tin divided attention to the office and transact the duties of the office to the best of my ability. I.. C. EDWARDS, Announcement. My friends having filed a petition asking that my name he placed on the primary ballot for sheriff on the democratic ticket, 1 have decided to grant their wishes. 1 promise Unit tf successful at the polls 1 will give my entire time and attention to the office. Thanking the voters of the county for pust favors, I remain, yours very truly, \V. T. FENTON, Announcement. I hereby announce myself a demo cratic candidate for nomination to the office of County Clerk, at the primary election, which will he held on August the 17th, 1909. if nomi nntcil and elected 1 promise to give U the ofl'ln- my entire time and at tentlon; to all courteous and fair treatment, together with all the ac curacy my ability warrants. CEO. \V. MOltllIS. An Announcement. 1 desire to announce to the voters of Ri< hardson county that 1 uni a can didate for the Democratic nomination lor County Treasurer at the primary diction. It hm been my pleasure to serve the public in a county office lor a few years wild this experience and acquaintance with the county al ia.rs will enable me to administer the affairs of the office more efficiently. If I am given the nomination 1 earnestly ask the support of all voi ds. at the November election, lrre spet live of party and l pledge myself to serve the tax payers of tills county in a faithful and accomodating man ner. Yours respectfully, JOHN 11. 11 ETCHINGS. ■ County Clerk. My friends having persuaded me to allow iny name to be placed on the primary ballot as a candidate for the office of County Clerk on the repub bean ticket. 1 take this method of in Producing myself to those in the conn* ty who arc not already acquainted with me. In case 1 am elected to the office. J promise to do my very best to please the public and to do the offiv * justice. HOY \V. lUGGKTT. Burkett and llrowu are giving splendid service to the people of flic state, and are being given nation-wide credit for the fight they are making for the consumer. Kov Daggett of Salem is being urged to permit the use of his name lor county clerk. Mr. Daggett is uni versally popular and would make one ol the most competent officers the county has ever had. We are informed that Dan Riley will Ik unable to leave his business interests to become a candidate for county treasurer. Dan's many friends B'dentlv hoped that he would permit his name to be used, but knowing the situation as they do they arc in clined to let Dan have his way. Rob Cain is being talked of by the local politicians, and no better candidate could be chosen. The county central committee of tb» county should provide some sort of me ting that could be attended by republicans from all over the county, in order that an exchange of views may be had concerning candidates in particular and the situation in genera] Tie : t was never a better opportunity to carry the county than now. With the opposition ticket made up of can didates who have held office all the way from two to four terms, the is sue should be simple and the victory certain. Falls City's democratic leaders seem to have tht slate pretty se curely fixed. Dick James has been relegated to the rear for county judge, George Morris was told win re to "get off" when he had the tejn i eritv to want to run for treasurer, 1 and all the "little fellows" have r« ! reived tle ir orders to whoop It up for the "never give ups." Morris has been allowed to become a candidate for clerk and James seems to think ilmt the voters throughout the county 1 should have something to say about tie matter and is Inclined to stick i for county judge. Altogether it is an amusing situation ! and one that the rank and file of the democratic patty would find very interesting if they could see the in. side of the deal. It usually takes an evangelist to make a community realize how tile they are. You see the evangelist is only with us for a brief time and does not care tor our scowl or con demnation, so he hits right and left, lie points out tie sins of A and It, and we say "sick ’em; they deserve it," Then L>. E and P come in for a roast, and we say, "isu t it just too true?" 0, li, i, J and K then get a punch in the solar plexus, and we yell with delight—we’ve ai ways wanted to see that Mrs. K "taken down a peg." "Yes,"we say. "tin' <*vnn«<-11Mt is iioutg some noiiti work." Hut finally In1 gets down to X we're In X. It seems us though he dwells unusually long on the sins of X, and intimates ttiat X is "hair hung and breeze-shaken over the bot tomless pit." "He's a faker.” we say, "too sensational; lie's a grafter.” The average evangelist can afford to call a spade a spade; lie tells you many things you already know, but he does not whisper it, and that alone never yet failed to draw u crowd. It’s a trick of the trade, and no doubt brings good results. Man is vile, in about the same pro portion in Falls City as in other towns. Human nature differs little in Nebraska towns—we're no better nor no worse than tin- average town of our size, and the old Sam .lones method of placing each town he vis iled in the same class with hades, is, among intelligent people, a stale trick and lias out-lived its usefulness it it ever had any. WHAT ABOUT FALLS CITY? A subscriber for many years lias stopped taking the Republican. He is angry because this paper thinks sa loons ought to be abolished, and he has a building which he is renting at u good rent to a saloon. He says he does not use liquor himself. and hopes in- never will, but that it is not his business to keep others from tak ing- a drink If they want to. He eon tesscs that In- is not a friend to the business when be says that lie does not patronize it. He would have no use for it and would lie willing to see it abolished under other eiretttn f-fanees. He knows it is bad for men. and confessor, to that knowledge by abstaining from it himself. Yet lie is willing that men shall have a bad thing dealt out to them just because the saloon furnishes a profitable ten ant for his building -York Republi "Nebraska is coming more and more to look like certain districts of rural lOmgland," says Regent Coup land. "This is particularly true of the southeastern corner of the state, in Richardson county 1 can imagine myself in the old country again." Re gent Coupland is full of enthusiasm over the possibilities of Nebraska agriculture. "If the people would plan for permanent occupation of the land as the best place to live." he says "we would have here the best farm Conditions in the world.” His zeal in pushing the agriculture college of the state university springs from his firm belief in the scientific develop ment of the great natural resources of the state.—State Journal. THE NEVER GIVE-UPS. \\Y haven’t a word to say against the character of any of the democrat ic candidates. Campaigns of slander and abuse must he left to those bet ter fitted than The Tribune. Hut as apostil's of the theory of "never give up a good tiling." commend us to the democratic candidates. Judge Gagnon lias held the office of county judge eight out of the last twelve years, and is now a candidate for his fiftli term, and his third suc cessive term. William Fenton lias been sheriff for two terms and now asks a third term. Prof. Oliver lias held the office of county superintendent for two terms, and is now a candidate for a third term. John Hutchings lias been county clerk for two terms and now is a candidate lor treasurer. L. C. Edwards lias been county re corder for one term of four years and now wants four years more. Tlie voters of this county are not much in favor of "hogging" it and have repeatedly defeated men who tried to get more than their share. We know of no law that prevents these gentlemen from being cai>~. dates as long as they want to. but it seems to a "man up a tree" that four years in public office is about enough, to say nothing of eight or ten. c — - □ A CEREAL STORY By Melville F. Ferguson D □ i pyrigiit, by J. B. IJpplncotl Co.) I remember that when 1 was a boy, and laboriously traced the mnxirn graven at the top of my copy book, variety was reputed to be the spice of life,' casually remarked the Man, gravely contemplating the steaming breakfast food before him, “How times have changed! How fickle the fashion in spices! Pass the cream, pit ase." I Ms wife cast a sidelong glance at him over the top of the coffee-urn. Shi was used to his circuitous method of attack, and more than suspected what was coming. Therefore she held her peace. "This—or— pasty substance," said he, holding up a ■; i eufui and allow ing it to plump hack into his bowl In a long elastic gob -"haven't I seen something like this before? Didn’t we have it yesterday? Didn't w'e have it day before yesterday? Has tii' n been any day this month, or last month, .>r the month before, when we didn’t have it?" "I thought you were so fond of cereals!" deprecated the woman. "Cereals .yes. This particular cereal, to the exclusion of all others —no. Come, now, be honest. What’s the prize? Tell me about the premium enlighten me as to the gen erous offer of the philanthropic manu facturer. What is it?" "Oh, 1 dare say it’s very amusing,” retorted his wife, with an ominous snap in her voice. "You’re an in finite. But for my interest in the tilings you sneer at you wouldn’t have the coat you’ve got on." It was true. He wished he hadn’t, llr- was attired in a vivid green smok ing jacket tastefully trimmed with purple walls of Troy about the collar, His Desk Was Full of Oats. cuffs, anil tail. It was a nightmare his thoughtful helpmeet had brought upon him by succumbing to the offer of what was described as a "magnificent $20 house-coat to he given away ab solutely free" with a thousand cigars —of awful memory. He sat in a chair to obtain which as a "gift" his better half had made herself obnoxious throughout the neighborhood by forc ing upon unwilling friends and ac quaintances unbelievable quantities of soap, starch, and perfumery that they didn't need and didn't want. He ate from dishes that had been procured by the assiduous collection of reams of vari colored trading stamps. The abortive urn in which was served the morning ration of coffee represented weeks of nauseating effort to dispose of the ten pounds of chlccory and charred peanuts with which it had been presented. Mustering these for tifying facts in martial array in his mind, he returned to the charge. "What are we going to get for noth ing this time?" he demanded. "Come, tell me how it works.” "1 just knew you'd be perfectly hor rid about it," said she. "It's a beau tiful gilt boudoir clock—something 1 ve wanted for ages and age. You see, there is a little pasteboard letter in every box, and when you get enough to spell the cereal people s name they give you the clock us a present It's grand; Mrs. James lias one, and it didn't cost her a penny. 1 wish you could see it.” "Didn't cost her a penny, eh? No, I can't see it," rejoined the Man, with sinister double entendre. “How much do you pay for this stuff? Fifteen cents a box? And we’ve been using three packages a week for say twenty weeks—that's nine dollars. Seems to me you must have bought enough let ters to get two or three clocks. The fellows who got up this scheme must have a name long enough to reach all the way around the box and lap over some at that. What do they call themselves?” "It's the name of the food you have to spell—not the company's. The let ters are P-r-e-t-ty-m-a-n-s P-r-ed-t g-est-e-d O a t s, and I have them all but one. I've four or five of some of them." "Well," said the Man, glancing at his watch and shedding his giddy house-coat hurriedly, preparatory to the usual rush for his train, "If your heart is set on getting this clock for nothing, let us hope you find the miss ing letter before 1 am bankrupted— that’s all." Oats was a dangerous topic for many days. The Man absorbed his fodder In silence morning after morn ing leaving a constantly increasing quantity in his bowl on the plea of al lowing himself more time to reach the station A lazy man in Ann-n Brown— The* laziest man that lives In town. II*- has a son who dreams of fame Because Beamier is his name. But that is not the point al all— 'Tin this: When Brown ills son would call He goes Into the yard, does he, And shakes the oleander tree. Why does lie do that? Can’t you guess? He’s calling: “O, I.* under,” Yes. But isn’t he* a lazy man? Some people call him a “crazy man!” Another freak of Amos Brown That has been told all over town Is this: lie has a dogwood tree Close to his house, where all may see. And he la timid in the night— Afraid, you know, of sudden fright. So. if buhl burglars prowl around, Brown never makes the slightest sound; Because he knows the dogwood bark. Oh, isn’t he a lazy man? Soma people call him “crazy man!” And. worst of all. I’ve heard it said, He had an oak tree that was dead— Or nearly dead but falling limb Nor crashing bough affected him. And lie would never cut it down Tor he was lazy Amos Brown. He said he guessed he’d let it stay; It was too big to cut away. “Bet it alone," he sighed, "the thing As like as not will leave next spring!" Now, wasn’t he a lazy man? Some people call him "crazy man!" — THE SUMMER MAN. My son, consider now the summer man. lie that hath trousers which seem even as though they had been fash ioned for the elephant. For great is the fullness thereof, and likewise great is the emptiness of the fullness; They flap about his knees, and at his ankles they roll up even as a scroll; And his coat, it hath buttons up the sides thereof, even unto his armpits, And the waist is pinched in upon him, and the tails of his coat stick out even as a shelf; Yea, and he weareth socks that make a louder sound than the glass crash in "Lohengrin;” and his necktie and his handkerchief, do they not match for hue? And his hat, hath it not a band of many colors, like unto the festive bar ber pole? And he buyeth soda water and talk eth in a loud voice of golf, and eke of automobillng; And the mosquito biteth him not, for it is afraid. My son, when men speak unto thee against the summer woman and tell thee that the peekaboo and the squintaboo hosiery is wrong, Listen not unto them, hut tell them to be on their way and to beat it and to skiddoodle. For the summer man taketh the badge. Yet is he glad, for some one hath told him that he looketh like unto an actor who acteth in the slapstick melodrama. And his heart is large within him. And he sturiieth the thermometer and the mirror.. is it not so, even as we have told it from the inner consciousness of this typewriter with the strabismus of the I key? Even so. Selah. Exactly. My uncle Tod Is very odd— He calls a bed A quadruped 1 But soon we find He'll change his mind. “This feather tick.” He says, “Is thick— 1’pon my word The bed s a bird!” A Bulwark of Strength. "Kngland,” sold the timorous man, ‘is building ten new battle ships, each bigger than anything now in existence and capable of firing broadsides ag gregating 40,OOP,000-foot pounds of force; Germany is adding to her navy ships that will discharge missiles equivalent to o0,0u0,000-foot pounds; France, Japan, Russia and all the other countries are doing the same. What are we doing? What have wo to compete with that?” “My dear sir,” said the calm man. You forget that we have the never failing supply of Missouri mules. The annual muster of Missouri mules could combine and kick all the navies in the world clear through the Milky Way.” itr- u n ' r —tu- _ An Acre Profit per5year on lard costing o-iginally $40. Can jkj beat it? Cur alfalfa, sugar beet, potato and farm lands in the Denver and Greeley districts will produce a net profit of S50 the acre annually, on lands costing you $40. Part cash, balance easy terms Serd for our folders. Local agents wanted. rlsycs Land DENVER, colo S<(* Snakes Hard to Get. Collecting sea snakes for tin -Hen tide institutions is a dlffi If the collector is to obtain anything like a fair proportion of the 5b odd species he must cruise tbmugh Ma layan seas in a small boat and be ever on the watch. The only way to obtain a series of the species Is to shoot them. Sea snakes come regularly fr the surface for air, but the collector is lucky if he gets one out of every ten snakes he sees. The Basis of Gooa Society. “Society," like everything else which is collectively human, is just what its units allow it to be. and this is as true inside the church as anywhere else. The need of the day is no new one— It is for men and women whose exam ple will make them lights and beacons in our politics, our churches, our edu cational establishments, our "society," auO in all our human re.ations.—Phil adelphia Public Ledger. In Any Case It Was the Cat. Two Columbia students rooming to gether cook some of their meals them selves and take turns in doing the marketing. One of them brought, home two chops the other night, intending them for breakfast. Some time in the night a cat stole one of the chops. This brought about the first quarrel that had arisen between the young men. They could not decide the ques tion “Whose chop did the cat eat?” Rely on Yourself. All things come to him who hustles while he waits. Don't sit down with folded hands or stand with arms akim bo set until the occasion tells you what to do; don't wait for something to turn up or somebody to come along and take you by the hand to lead you up, without any labor on your part, to the heights others have gained by push and perseverance. Larry's Dig. Two riveters wen working cm the big skyscraper. "Do yez think thor’ll be a war?” said Larry. "Oi don't know,” replied Denny, as he lit his pipe, “but if thor is Oi'll be at th’ front.” "Thot’s what yez will be, me bye. At th’ front window watching th' throops pass by." And then Larry dodged a rivet. Perseverance Essential. There is a certain point of pro ficiency at which an acquisition begins to be of use, and unless we have the time and resolution necessary to reach that point, our labor is as completely thrown awuv as that of a mechanic who began to make an engine but never finished it.—P. G. Hamerton. News. Some persons are disturbed by the fact that evil deeds seem to predom inate in the news. Of course! It is necessary that evil be exposed, but good conduct, which is the rule, does not particularly call for the limelight of publicity. NOTICE To'cONT RAC TORS. Sealed bids for the erection cf the superstructure of a new Cai-olic church at Falls City, Neb., will he re ceived by the building committee of the Catholic church up to THE EIGHTH OF JULY at eight o’clock p. m. Plans and specifications n ay be seen at the hardware store of V.'irth & Winterbottom, and at the Cat-olio parsonage. The building committee rese ves the right to reject any or all b as. See Catholic Church committee. FATHER BEX, Paster. Oxfords for Everyone We Have Your Size THE H. M JEININE SHOE STORE A Good Way to Save Money r>. * / ■s to get one of our Vest Pocket Savings Banks and drop your small change into it in place of spending it. At stated intervals deposit the contents in the FALLS CITY STATE BaNIv You will be surprised^how this plan helps you save money. One customer saved more than 5100 in this way in a few months. You can get one of these banks for the asking. THE Falls City State Bank Capital ana Surplus. S70.00C GO Style and Elegance Makers WTc’i Pflaum Sc Co. \\ e have the best young men's clothes made. Not men’s clothes in smaller sizes but strictly foi “ Young Men Only.” Every line a graceful line. Every garment a per fect fit. Perfectly made suits. Beautifully trimmed to harmonize with the goods. Everything that the most skilled workmen and the most modern work • rooms can do is put into these garments. Great selection of nob by and staple patterns fr.m which to select. We want you to see these suits while the as sortment is large, even if you are not ready to buy. Wahl & Parchen WE KEEP OPEN UNTIL NINE O’CLOCK