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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (June 25, 1909)
. 7-. If sr- KS were what • tlie rose is And r u bbi s h w ere the leaf 1 need not ask your pardon For showing you my garden; •Twould be what each one knows is Of flower beds the chief— If Btieks were what the rose is Ami rubbish were the leaf. If weeds were what green hedge is Ami plantain were but grass. My lawn would be k fair one And not a skimped and bare one With bald spots where the edge is. 3 would not say "Alas!" .11 we< ■ i green hedge is A nd plantains were but grass. 11 burdock were but |_ I clover And sand were candytuft The bees In gladness coming Would fill the air with humming Instead of darting over As though in tempers huffed, If burdock were but clover And sand were candytuft. Were parsley morning glories And pigweed hollyhocks Then nodding, fragrant flowers Would sway through sun and shower* l«ik< honey-laden dories Tied up to fairy docks— Were parsley morning glories And pigweed hollyhocks. Wert dandelions pansies And thistles mignonette Then would my little garden 'Be as tlie vale of Arden Filled with all scented fancies In blossom-beauty set— Wen dandelions pansies And thistles mignonette. If plantain were but blue grass Arid sand were only turf Each morn rnv clicking mower Would only serve to lower Tin velvet of the new grass; I'd bf a singing serf 11 plantain were but blue grass And sand were only turf. . i 0LDM^rGsbI>ibS Observes. Son. go ahead and be a million aire, but after people get tired ol asking where you got it, they will begin pester ing you to know’ what you are go ing to do with it. There should be some special form-——— of medals for heroes who refuse to say: "1 only did what any other man would have done.” Some men confound an excuse with an apology. Ezra Potts says that preachers al ways deliver sermons against women's dress when they want the men to con tribute to some fund or other. A magazine is running a series of articles on "How a Woman May Re tain the Love of Her Husband.” One way is for her not to insist on reading the series of articles to him. Whenever I read some great man’s rules for success and note how he dwells upon the hard-work idea. 1 have a mental picture of him dictating that stuff with his feet on the desk and his auto waiting at the curb. There is about as much talk about an old woman who dresses like a girl as there is about a girl who dresses old-fashioned. No Mistake. “Daughter,” says the ambitious mother, "I am afraid you made a mistake in treating Mr. Billiocrat as you did.” "How do you mean, mamma?" “By acting with such hauteur tts ward him when he stole a kiss. 1 knew he is a trifie impetuous and all that, but—” "But I didn't make a mistake, mam ma i didn't act the least bit angry until after he had kissed me.” Its Last Request. The hunter had just bagged hie first ' gnu on the African plains. "There is just one last request I would make," it sighed. "Please do not simplify the spelling of my name when you send your report in to your publishers.” Welcome Home. “Why there's Smith!” his friends u« shouting. "Where the dickens have you been?" “I’ve been out upon an outing Jn an inning in an inn.” CHANGES IN FIGHTING SHIPS. United States Naval Designers Have Recently Made a Number of I mprcvements. The principal changes are the re moval of bridges, tiie taking out of the old military masts and the sub stitution for them of the new circular latticework masts for carrying the lire control platforms. The alter bridge and its associate armored sig nal lower have been removed and the forward bridge has been greatly cut down The extensions of this bridge on each side of the conning tower are now so arranged that they can he quickly removed in time for battle, the captain of the ship being hence forth compelled to take his station within the conning tower, where he properly belongs My the removal of the top hamper It will he possible for the captain to command the horizon, except through that arc of it which is shut out by the smokestacks. Bays a writer m the Scientific American. This change will remove one more of the picturesque and popular epi sodes of the earlier days of sea fight ing Tiie* captain will no longer tight liis ship from the flying bridge and in the open. The conning tower was built tor him, and a due regard for the issues oi the battle demands that he remain within it. it was the death of Admiral Vitboft, of the Czare vitch, that threw the Russian line Into disorder in the great sortie front Port Arthur at the very time when the chances ot shaking oft the Japanese seemed favorable. The captain of one of the battleships in that fight told ns that the admiral was struck by a shell as be was leaning with folded arms upon tlie railing of the bridge watching the Japanese line. That shot also wrecked the < mining tower, it is true, but the latter was of a de sign which would not be considered in our navy In addition to tlie removal of top hamper, the whole of the accumulated layers of old paint throughout the ships jh being removed; and in future, with a view to further reducing weights, no ship will be allowed to carry an accumulation of stores be yond the regular six months’ supply. As showing the absurdity of the state ment that the structural changes men tioned atiove are being made in order t< bring the "deeply-laden ships” up to a lighter draft, it may be mentioned that when the alterations are com pleted the draft will be only from three-quarters of an inch to 114 inches less than belore. Drinking Cups of the Ancients. Silver cups made by such famous workmen as Myron, Myos and Mentor, were preferred to gold cups. They were beautifully engraved and of workmanship which has never been equaled When gold cups were en riched with precious stones, they sometimes became peers of the en graved silver vessels Of all sizes, shapes and designs were these drinking cups, and their value was measured more by their form and design than the material of which they were made. Some had two handles, some only one and some none at all They were large and small, low and tali, narrow and oblong. They were purely the product of the vary ing fancy oi that prodigious age, which seemed to scorn uniformity. The early Ureeks and Homans drank hot water from cups, as we now drink coffee and tea, these beverages being unknown to them. Coffee orig inated with the Assyrians, and tea was first used by the Chinese at a very early age.—National Food Mag azine. ExcelEicr and Cullinan. The two largest diamonds in the world have been brought to light with in the last score of years. Great dia monds have been the objects of zeal ous pursuits for centuries, and even the cause of murders and wars insti gated by the mad desire for their ac quisition. In the case of the great historic diamonds, however, we lack complete and authentic information regarding every stage of their history which we possess in reference to these magnificent diamonds in our own day. it is true that no important historic happening has yet been asso ciated with either of them, but we are making history every day, and there can be little doubt that in the future the story of the Excelsior and Cullin nan diamonds will be as eagerly sought lor as is that of the Koh-l-nur, the Regent and the Orloff.—From Dr. George Frederick Kunz' "The Two Largest Diamonds," in the Century. Enjoying a Shew. Here's a hot one on Powell Hale. He entertained in Whiteville, N. C., in April, so Edwin Weeks says, and a negro hoy went to the op'ry house ■with him to tote his grip Alter the show was over and the Senegarnbian serv itor and good old Hale were meander ing back to the drummer's home, the entertainer said to Snowball: "Did you enjoy the show?" "Yes, sah 1 joyed mob' of it.” “You did not enjoy it all, you say?” "No sah, 1 joyed it all but de very las piece what you spoke Why, what was the matter with that piece?” "Well, sah, all dem white folks laffed so loud dey kep’ me 'wake en during de las’ piece "—The Lyceum ite. At a Casual Glance "Don't you think iny poetry resem bles Tennyson’s?” said the confident young writer. “It does,” answeied Miss Cayenne, ‘‘In the capitalization und the arrange ment of lines into varying lengths.” HIS. KINDLY HEART CHAMPION SENSITIVE MAN WAS THIS VERMONT CITIZEN, His Mantle of Kindness Even Spread Over That Pestilential Enemy of the Human Race, the Blood thirsty Mosquito. “1 think the most sensitive man I ever knew," said Col Calliper, "was nil old friend of mine named Jonathan Saglow. who lived at one time in Storkville Center, Yt. lie couldn't bear to see pain inflicted on man or beast, and any sort of cruelty filled him with great indignation, “On Mr. Saglow's place there was a little hit of swamp hjnd which he had never drained and which fur nished a breeding place for what i suppose were the greatest and llere est mosquitoes that ever grew, but Saglow had no screens on his porch or windows. He did have some once on his porch but he took them down the next day after he put them up. "People hesitated to call on the Saglows in summer on account of those mosquitoes. There were mos quitoes, sure enough, elsewhere in Storkville Center than around where they lived, but none quite so big and ferocious as those that grow in Sag low's swamp. Then one day, to Stork ville Cen tre's great astonishment, Mr. Saglow was seen putting up screens around his front porch; the next day, to its still greater astonishment, lie was seen taking them down, and Mr. Sag low wasn't a man that everybody could run up to to ask the whys and wherefores of anything he'd done, but one day in a friendly mood he told me why lie had taken down the screens the very day after he had put them up. “He admitted freely Hint that, one night they had had on the porch with tlie screens up had been most comfort able for them all; that to sit there and not lie bored into by those ginnt mosquitoes had been an experience that they had all greatly enjoyed; but what he saw in the morning when he came to look the screens over by daylight prompted him to take them down immediately. “Sticking through these screens, till over, all around, everywhere, he saw mosquitoes’ broken off beaks you can judge what sized beaks tliej were when 1 tell you that those screens were not very line meshed—big beaks which mosquitoes had thrust through the netting in their efforts to get at the people inside, and which had be come wedged there and been broken off when the mosquitoes had beaten up against those screens and how many had stuck their beaks through and still been able to get them out again nobody could know, but here were 94 broken off benks si ill stick ing through the meshes of file net ting. “Now most people, you know, would have found a sort of savage joy in the contemplation of those broken off spears and in the thought that so many giant pests had thus been made innocuous; but not so with Jonathan Saglow. “When he saw those 94 broken off beaks the first thought that came to him was of the poor wounded and walned mosquitoes wandering beak less around the world deprived of their only means of sustenance; and straightway he tore down the screens so that others might not by them he made likewise to suffer; for not even upon the sufferings of mosquitoes could lie dwell with serenity, this most sensitive man I ever knew.” Malaria. Malaria ever has been, and is yet, the great barrier against the invasion of the tropics by the white races, nor has Its injurious influences been con fined to the deaths that it causes. It has been held by careful students of tropical diseases and conditions, that no small part of that singular apathy and indifference which steal over the mind and body of (he white colonist in the tropics, numbing even liis moral sense and alternating with furious outbursts of what the French have termed “tropical wrath,” charac terized by unnatural cruelty and ab normal disregard for the rights of others, is the readly work of ma laria.—Outing. Reducing the Range of Wit. Mark I wain once said there were but seven original jokes. Now there are but six. The management of a long chain of vaudeville houses lias decreed that no actor in playing in its circuit shall spring the mother-in-law Joke upon the helpless audience; and while this action does not quite elim inate the joke from common usage it so clippies it that it may be regarded as a hopeless invalid doomed to early oblivion or dissolution. Matching His Feelings. “Kagsbv is very chesty since he started to buy a new house.” “Yes, so much so that he insisted on getting one with a swell front.”— Yonkers Statesman. Color Blind. Servant—A pound of tea for the missus. Grocer—Green or black? Servant—Shure, ayther will do. She’s as blind as a bat!—Judge. When Women Vote. He—Aren’t you ready to go down to the polls yet. dear? She—Not yet.. What are you doing—trying to make up your mind or your face?—Yonkeys Statesman t Benner's Famous Advertisement. When the New York Ledger was wavering on the hrluk of failure, Rob ert lionner, the proprietor, sent to the New York Herald a brief advertise ment, to be set up in a single line. So llreeleyesque was Mr Bonner's hand writing that the advertising manager Interpreted the directions as order ing that the copy lie run in full page which instructions lie obeyed, though marveling greatly. The Herald eatne out tin* next morning with one whole page devoted to the crisp ndjuratlon t(» read the Ledger's new story. The effect upon Mr. lionner was almost la tal, first from chagrin at the thought of the possible hill, then from amaze ment ns subscriptions began to pour In, and finally from satisfaction, ns they continued to flood the office, un til till* fortune of the publication was ltiaih The novel, though accidental, device had stria k the public's fancy Mr. Rentier was hailed as the pioneer of a new and daring theory of exploit ation, and the advertisement gained tenfold currency by being commented upon as a feature o! the news Col ller's. LET U3 TAKE YCUR ORDER Knickerbocker f0E Company CALL TELEPHONE NO. 28© The Buyers’ ^ Guide Tbe fintis whose names ate repre sented in our advertising columns are worthy of tbe confidence ol every person in the community who has money to spend. The tact that they advertise stamps them as enterpris ing. progressive men of business, a credit to our town, and deserving of support. Our advertising columns comprise a Muyers’ Guide to fair dealing, good goods, honest prices. V__J Don't forget • the little folks 4th of July They have two days to celebrate this year. We’ve got things they WANT at our store. Call and look them over and make your selections early. McMillan’s Pharmacy Opposite Postoffice falls City. Neb. CLEAVER &, SEBOLD INSURANCE REAL ESTATE AND LOANS NOTARY IN OFFICE SHIGHESTER SPILLS h. DIAMOND GRAND LA MFC ! Ar'i your Nrur«l** for CITT-CHKS TFR'S A DIAM< 1 J RANI) PILLS in Ki d tndA\ { r x €■ sealed with BluevO/ Ril ' r Ti.KB NO C-TIIER. Hu; oFyourW bi.ii tnk fop ('lll.CllKk.Tr KM V I> l A Afl (i M> Hit A N l» I* I l. I.n, for twenty-five regarded as Best .Safest, Always Reliable. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS ffi, everywhere t TRADE MARKS Designs Otti’ Copyrights Ac. Anyone sending a sketch and description may quickly ascertain our opinion free whether an invention ia probably patentable. Com noun lea lions st rictly confidential. HANDBOOK <>u Latent* pent free. Oldest agency for securing patent*. Latent* taken through Munn A. Co. receive fprctal notice, without charge, In the Scientific American. A handsomely Illustrated weekly. Largest cir culation of any scientific Journal. Terms, $3 a year; four months, Bold by all newsdealers. MUNN & Co.38,B,«*“» New York branch Office. F Bt« Washington. b. C. Falls City Chautauqua July 24th =====*=== TO _.JM=a^a August 1st Biggest and Best Ever Why Not Secure a Tent Seasonable Suggestions To be Found Here: Lowe Bros.’ Paint Pittsburgh Electrically Welded Fencing Fishing lackle and Sporting Goods Alaska and White Frost Refrigerators Call Our I inner Before the Spring Rains J. C. TANNER Falls City Nebraska Plumbing z:zHardware Chas. M. Wilson HAS IN STOCK FISH GLOBES 1-2 gal. to 3 gal. in size Tumblers in a number of stylos and prices, from 30c to $2.50 per dozen. See the 15c Glassware. You can t match it at the price. Anything you want in bancy China or Dinnerware. A Complete Stock of Groceries Fine Coffees and Teas a Specialty Chas. M. Wilson's Announcement * We are pleased to announce that our Spring campaign of the biggest values in Farm Ma- j chinery for lyoy is now on. You are invited to call and inspect our lines. A complete line of John Deere Farm Machin ery, Hay Loaders and Stackers. McCormick Binders and Mowers. Avery Cultivators and Planters. 1 Sharpies Tubular and DeLaval Cream Sep arators. Litchfield Spreaders. Gasoline [Engines. Old Hickory and Avery Wagons. Keys Bros’, and Vehlie Buggies. No trouble to show our goods. Loucks & Jones FALLS CITY NEBRASKA A HOST TOUCHING APPEAL falls short of its desired effect if ad dressed to a small crowd of interested listeners. Mr. Business Man, are vou wasting your ammunition on the small crowd that would trade with you anyway, or do you want to reach those who are not particularly inter ested in your business? If you do, make your appeal for trade to the largest anu most intelligent audience in your commun ity, the readers of this paper. They have count less wants. Your ads will be read by them, and they will become your custom ers. Try it and see.