DANGER FROM EVERY POINT
Navigation of the Air Pu s the Finish
ing Touches on Perils of
Humanity.
The aeronauts have given to dwell
ers on the earth a new peril. In tier
many an airship crew landed on the
roof of a house and went through.
Dragging the anchors have occa
sionally rjpped up fences, and would
rip up humans if the latter w. re not
agile. Objects dropped from a bal
loon can hurt when even a little ob
ject has dropped from a mile or so in
the air.
Dragging rope from a low balloon
has possibilities of danger both for
the balloon and for the people and
property that may he underneath it.
The time is coming when we shall
have to look out for occasional explo
sions beneath beneath us that send
manhole covers flying in the air. for
vehicles of all kinds on the surface,
and for the airship dangers over
head.
"RESCUED" AT A FIRE.
There was some boasting of ex
traordinary presence of miml shown
at flres, when an excitable man, in
answer to a tale which had just been
told, said: “Why, that’s nothing!
When 1 was in New York I heard of
ft big fire. I strolled out to see it.
I found an old gentleman half our
of a fourth story window gesticulat
ing and calling aloud for help.
Everyone seemed paralyzed. No lad
der or escape would reach him. The
crowd said he must burn to death.
I rushed wildly forward and said:
‘He shall not!' J called for a rope. 1
threw him the end, he caught it. I
told him to tic it around hi:- waist.
He did, and I pulled him down.
Gentlemen, 1 saved that man from
being burned to death.”
WRAPPED IN MUSIC.
SHE HAD A JOB.
President A. B. Storms of the
State college, Ames, la., in his new
lecture, “Are We Sane or Insane?”
tells the following incident in his
discussion of the mad rush of Ameri
can youth to get positions, to get at
something that will bring them
money.
“My sister who served as a mis
sionary once asked a raw Norwegian
girl if she didn’t want to serve the
Lord.
“‘Nope,’ said the girl, ‘Aye got a
yob.’ ”—Unidentified.
RESTORING HIS SENSE.
“Come with me.” said the police
man on the beat to the fake blind,
deaf and dumb beggar on the corner.
“The squire will give you a hearing
to-morrow.”
“It will ruin my business,” shout
ed the dumb man, “to give me a
hearing. What’s the use of a blind
man's seeing his finish?”—Baltimore
American.
LONG-LIVED IRISHMEN.
Among applicants at Donegal for
old age pensions are three peasants
who return their ages at 111, 108
and 10G years. One of them does
not understand a word of English*
and still affects the knee-breeches,
swallow-tail coat and caubeen of
two generations ago.—London Mail.
SIGHT-SEEING SIMPLIFIED.
“What a splendid device the cam
era is for the convenience of tour
ists !”
“Yes,” answered Mr. Cumrox;
“the next time I go abroad I’m go
ing to anchor in Paris or Vienna
and send a hired man around the
continent to take snap shots.”
NOT A BROMIDE.
“She is crazy to get married.”
“Yes, I think so.”
The strange thing about this is
that the person to whom this remark
was addressed didn’t come back with.
the bromide: “Well, most every
body is.”—Detroit Free Press.
NOBODY GUESSED THE NAME
Lcng-Headed Boys Had Hit on Great
Scheme to Keep Appellation of
Society a Secret.
The eight-year-old son of a well
known cartoonist attends a Sunday
school in which the boys have
formed what they call secret so-'
eieties. the only “secret'’ being the
name. The initials of the society are
always made public and if anv hoy
of a rival society guesses their sig
nification the name is at once
changed. It was two weeks before
anybody guessed, for instance, that
T. S. meant Temperance Soldiers,
but recently Georgie came to his fa
ther and said:
“We’ve got one now they’ll never
guess."
“Well?" queried the father.
“Promise you'll never tell/* asked
Georgie.
The promise was given.
“M. E.” said ( loorgie. “They all
think it means ‘.Methodist Episco
pal,’ but it don't—it stands for
‘Meriean Eagles.’ "
And thus far nobody has guessed.
—Success Magazine.
AN IMPROBABLE STARTER.
"And so von are not married
yet?”
“Xo.”
“Engaged ?”
“Xo.”
“Expect to be?”
“Xo.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Well, papa says that my hus
band must be a keen and experi
enced man of good health and good
habits. Mamma says he must be
frugal, industrious, attentive and
moral: and I say that he must be
handsome, dashing, talented and
rich. We are still looking for him.”
HIGH-HANDED COURTS.
Mrs. Galey (with newspaper,
angrily)—It’s a crying shame the
way those high courts pay no atten
tion whatever to the wishes of the
people! Such high-handed proceed
ings I never heard tell of.
Mr. Galey—What’s the trouble
now, dear?
Mrs. Galey—'Why, in that Fassett
divorce ease the court decided the
names of the co-respondents should
not be made public.—Argonaut.
EASY VICTIM.
“You’ve got whiskers to burn,”
was the suggestive remark of the
barber, as he inspected the long,
straggling beard of tlie man in the
chair.
“All right,” said the customer,
with a sigli of resignation. “You
can go ahead and cage 'em.”
For he didn’t know but the har
bor's next suggestion might be that
he make burnsidos of them.
THE CROWNING CRITICISM.
“Do you expect to make people be
lieve all you say in your speeches?”
“Of course not,” answered Sena
tor Sorghum. “An auditor never
wants to be enlightened by any new
facts. What he wants to hear is
something he already believed, so.
that he can say ‘Them’s inv senti
ments!’”
ERA OF ORGANIZATION.
“Do you understand the differ
ences between capital and labor?”
“Xot exactly," said the cautious
citizen. “It seems to me that they
both have their troubles. The work
ingman has to keep his eye on the
walking delegate, and the business
man lias to be on the lookout for the
captain of industry.”
SEIZING OPPORTUNITY.
“Don’t you think you are taking
big chances in permitting your
daughter to marry that man?”
“I’d be taking bigger chances not
to.”
“I don't see how?”
“She might not marry at all.”—
Houston Post.
THE CLARION OF VICTORY.
Mrs. Bailfcnse (at the supper ta
ble)—There’s an auttymobile horn
a-tootin’ like mad.
Mr. Pailfense—Darn ’em! Must
’a’ killed a cow tew be crowin’ about
it that much!—1'iiek.
OVERWISE.
I
“Prof. Boogies is a fine example
of too much learning.”
“What’s your drift?”
“He can predict a shower of rain,
but when it comes he hasn’t common
sense enough to keep from getting
wot”
PEDESTRIANS’ WOES IN 1910
Glimpse Into the Future That Many
Will Be Inclined to Think Is
Not Overdrawn.
< htlg-ehug !
Br-r-r! br-r-r!
Honk-honk!
(lilligillug-gilligiHug!
The pedestrian paused at the in
tersection of two busy cross streets.
lie looked about. An automobile
was rushing at him from one direc
tion. a motorcycle from another;
an auto-truck was coming from be
hind. and a taxicab was speedily ap
proaching. •
Zip-zip! Zing-glug!
lie looked up and saw directly
above him a runaway airship in
rapid deset nl.
There was but one chance. He
was standing upon a manhole cover.
Quickly seizing it he lifted the lid
and' jumped into the hole just in
time to he run over by a subway
train. W. 1?. lioso, in Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
STRENUOUS EMPRESS.
‘The empress dowager of China is
a woman of spirit. One of her chief
recreations is wrestling with the
women of tin' court. In her palace
is a vast apartment set aside for the
practice, and each afternoon she
lias n turn or two with her attend
ants. Some time ago it was sug
gested to the emprc.'S that fencing
would he n variation. She agreed
to the proposal, and a Kuropeun
drill sergeant was engaged. But
the first lesson settled the em
press' views. Fencing was too lame.
After ihe demonstration she went
up to the instructor, took his foil
from him, tiling it to the other end
of the room, and seized the sergeant.
After a severe struggle she made
him touch the ground with both
shoulders.
VALLEY OF DRY BONES.
There is in Ceylon a valley of dry
bones. This valley, near Talnwnkelc,
is saiil to be a vast underground tun
nel, with numerous entrances and
exits. According to English plant
ers in Ceylon, when an elephant
feels its last hour approaching it
will, if permitted to do so, escape
into the jungles and die. Once the
sick elephant gels away it is never
seen again. Where they go is a
problem. As they vanish so mys
teriously in the hour of death the
tale is told by the natives that they
die in an underground cave. The
particular cave, however, has never
been discovered, though numerous
expeditions have sought for it. The
person who finds this elephant
sepulcher will probably reap a for
tune.
HELP!
WP“' T—w r ' Ull/r
He—Supposing I were to kiss you?
She—I should scream for help.
lie—But I shouldn’t want any help.
THE COLONEL’S APPLEJACK.
A story is told of a colonel in
Gen. Lee’s division in the late civil
war who sometimes indulged in
more applejack than was good for
him. Passing him one evening,
leaning against a tree, the general
said:
“Good evening, colonel. Come
over to my tent for a moment,
please.”
“’S-S-cuse me, G-g-en‘ral,’s-s-cuse
me,” replied the colonel. “It’s ’bout
all I can do to stay where I am.”
NOT IN THE RHETORIC.
“What we want from you is a
speech that will make sparkling and
forceful reading from beginning to
end.”
“Impossible,” answered the cam
paign orator. “What you suggest is
a three-column epigram.”
ECONOMY.
Ilowell—IIow many meals a day
do you have?
Powell—Two. We hnye breakfast,
and then it takes my wife until din
ner time to decide what to have for
luncheon.
ASK TAFT TO ACT
Country's Consumers Invoke Him
Against Sugar Trust
Xew York, April 27. Irgitig
President Taft to loosen the taritT
tentacles with which the sugar
trust octopus squeezed from all
American consumers over $100
00o,O00 lust year, the customers of
200.000 small grocers throughout
the land sent to the white house
from this city toil ay a final plea for
a real reduction on this universal
household necessity which con*
gress has refused in the face of
petitions from the people of every
state in the union. Through the
committee of wholesale grocers,
which has been formed here to as
Mst in obtaining cheapi r sugar for
consumers through reduction of
duties on raw and relined sugar;
the heads and housewives of over
100.000 American families have
recorded their support of this
movement, which the otlicial lig
uivs show cun result in nil nnuuttl
saving of $S to every household in
the land. Only the intervention
of the president can today sav.' the
wage earners of the entire coun
try from paying tribute at break
fust, dinner and supper to the
powerful trust which lias saddled
sugar on the plain people with a
burden of duty eight times that on
diamonds, it is declared.
Reminding the president that
besides the little brown sugar
growers of the Philippines there
are IHl.OOO.bOO men, women and
c lildren on Ins home continent in
the grasp of the sugar trust, this
petition of the American consum
ers asks fur a square deal in
reducing the huge Ml per cent tar
iIT, on the basis of- which fully 2c
is tacked to the price of each
I pound of this kitchen staple of
which 2.2^1,701 tons were import
ed for consumption last year. In
forwarding t o Washington this
mass of requests from their cus
tomers for cheaper sugar, the gro
cers declare that their interest in
increased consumption is identical
with that of the consumer, and
cite the recorded statement of the
independent refiners that they re
quire no protection and favor the
admission of both raw and refined
sugar entirely free of duty. The
fact that the sugar trust has re
cently sold for export large quan
tities of sugar at almost 2c a pound
less than it was offered to Ameri
can consumers is also called to the
attention of President Taft as
proof that the trust can refine
sugar without protection much
better than every housewife can
afford to pay tariff tax of fully 20c
every time she tills her !<• pound
sugar jar.
Included in the thousands of
petitioners against this trust tax
on their daily food »re hundreds
of granges and farmers who have
hastened to register their protest
ever the counters of the village
groceries in every section of the
country. Ten millions of farmers
today pay a 2- tax on every pound
of sugar for their households, they
point out, solely to give a bounty
to less than 100,0*>0 farmers who
are engaged in raising sugar beets
for the trust which is known to
control the domestic product.
Though this is the greatest fruit
growing country in the world, it is
further asserted, the stunting of
the canning and preserving indus
try through lack of cheap sugar
today robs the farmers of what
might be an enormous demand for
their fruit.
Private Money.
Private money to loan on Real
Estate. Mortgages bought and
sold. Call at First National
Hank- 3-tf A. J. Whavhk
Shoes for the Whole Family
at the
THE H. M. JE1HNE SHOE STORE
UNLIKE ANY OTHER
NEWSPAPER IS
The Weekly Kansas City Star j
Tm Wi i ki.y St \r, in addition to printing the
entire news of the week in concise form, has
Absolutely Accurate^ Market Quotations
So valuable arc these that such are copyrighted by Tint
Star and appear only in this newspaper.
Tin Wm ki.v Star has also the famous Chaperon
Feature which furnishes free, advice and Help on many
perplexing problems. Also Answers,' which takes care
of all <|iiestions the readers care to ask.
It has a practical, successful Kansas farmer in
charge of its Farm Department, which is of great value
to all farmers and stockmen.
Tin Wit it ki.y Kansas City Star isn’t for any lim
ited set of people; it’s lor every member of every family.
If you don’t find something of interest in a particular
issue, well, the office looks on that issue as a failure,
25c pays for one year.
ADDRESS
THE WEEKLY KANSAS CITY STAR
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI
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_
Chas. M. Wilson
offers you a line of
German China Salad Bowls 'JZp
nicely decorated at, your choice V
Also a lot of (ilass Vases, the tall kind for stem flowers,
at i*4c per inch, or your choice for.25 cents
See the above in the south window', at
Chas. M. Wilson’s
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