THE FALLS CITY 1RIBUNE
Entered »» second-class matter at
l,'sn*City. Nebraska, post office. Jattu
ai v 1*. l‘k under the Act : Congress
on March . isT11.
Published every Friday at Falla City.
Nebraska, by
Tbe Tribune Publishing Company
E r SMARTS. Mnaeger
One year fl-jO
Hi* iranths
Three months .+<*
TELEPHONE 226.
The Sultan of Turkey lias - lit
cooks. No tvonder his broth is
spoiled.
Now let every* brave woman
island up in defense of her own
waistline, wherevt r 'he chooses
to draw i t
It’s time to look over the
home and see that it is properly
screened. The naughty fly is
health's worst enemv.
That American newspaper
man charged with being a spy
in Constantinople, may have
been performing his duly. He
won't be shot in a hurry.
When you hear a merchant
kicking on business, nine times
out of ten you are safe in cun
t lading that he i> not a regular
advertiser.
A Falls City f ather said of Ins
son, (we won't mention any
names): “I don't know what is
fhe matter with He eats
legularly, seems to sleep good,
but he ust can't work.'1 What's
the matter with this man’s son?
Secretary Wilson's r e m a rk
that Joseph was the only man
who ever succeeded in corner
ing grain, set Wall street guess
ing. Brokers broke even on
whether Arthur Joseph, Joe
Leiter or Joseph of old. who
wore the coat of many colors,
was meant.
THE TRIBUNE TO BE
When The Tribune's linotype
machine i- installed. The Trib
une will be the best equipped
printing office in southeastern
Nebraska.
TheTribunealready prides its
self on its equipment, which is
now far superior to that of any
other Falls City printing olfice.
Every case of type i- almost
bran new, our presses are new
in fact the whole office, was sel.
ected with care and purchased
very recently.
Our facilities for turning out
strictly up to date commercial
and society printing are now
far superior to those of any
other Falls City printing estab
lishment.
With the addition of the line
type machine the possible out
put of the office will be double
its present capacity.
Watch us grow.
The Tribune is ust different,
that's all.
Philosophy!
i
Said the good old Quaker to his
boy Nathan it is not what thee
reads that makes thee smart: it
is not what thee eats that makes
thee fat it is not what thee earns
that makesthee rich BUT WHAT
THEE SAVES
Try one of our Vest Pocket
Banks and watch results It will
help you save many a dollar.
THE
Falls City State
Bank
Capital and Surplus $70 000 00
/ •
THE EDUCATION OF THE BOY
With The** Precept* Instilled It Is
Very Certain He Will Not Go
Far Wrong,
Tench your inn to he true to hia
word h»i1 work : in fare till diHii nil it -
with eotirage and < Inerfulne--; to
form no friendships that can bring
him into degrading ussociationn; to
respet t otlier people's convictions; to
reverence womanhood: t«» live a
clean life in thought and word se
wed ns in deed; that true mnnliiie.-s ,
always commands success; that the
best tilings in life are not those that !
inn he bought with money; that to
command he must first learn to
obey ; that there can be no com pro
mise li®tween honesty ami dislmn-j
estv ; that tin virlm- of pun i unlity
and politeness are excellent things to
cultivate. Kxthange.
BEDSTEADS WORTH FORTUNES.
A well-known Trench actress is
the hnppv possessor of a bed rained
at $5,000. It is, (if course. v*-rv
ancient, hut in an excellent state • f
preservation, and its adornments
carrv out to 11u full all the lavish
beauty of the bed itself, limped at j
the back from a ring in the ceiling
are beautiful rurtains of antique bro
cade, plumes of ostrich feat Ik rs loop
ing them up at the corners. The
bedspread i= of richest satin, veiled
with valuable lace in exquisite de
sign. The fashionable and rich <<!
Paris are now on a level with the j
trans-Atlantic art lovers in their
search for the antique and biuuliful.j
whatever its price, and if it posst ssej
authentic historic interest all the bet
ter for the salesman, as the bidding
for its possession is very keen. St v
cral old Knglish country liousi s own
antique beds which are the envy of
the connoisseur.
LANDIS MERELY NERVOUS.
When .bulge Landis of Standard
Oil fame was starting his legal ca
reer he was a nervous young man.
He had not been practicing long
when lie unexpectedly found himself
called on to conduct an important
case. The young lawyer showed his
nervousness so plainly when he rose
to address the court that the presid
ing judge said kindly:
“Do not bo afraid, Mr. Landis."
The embryo advocate replied
promptly:
“Your honor. I stand in rwc, but
fear not.”
HAY ON AN AUTO TRUCK.
Probably there is no street sight
that sets more folks to noticing' than
an auto loaded with hales of bay.
l!p around the stable section in the
Last Twenties Ibis is not uncom
mon, and very often the automobile
laden with hay is seen in Columbus
Circle.
The contrast is marked and almost
always leads some one to say some
thing about the passing of the horse
as exemplified by the fact that even
liis provender doesn't come to him
any more horse-drawn.—New York
Sun.
HIS COSTLY HEADGEAR.
“1 was surprised to hear that old
man Coopons told Jimmp Faulkinr
that he wouldn't let him inarrv his
daughter under any circumstances.
AVI,at was the trouble?”
“1 understand the old man not iced
that Jitnmv was wearing a green
hat.”
"Will Jimmy give up the hat?”
“Not Jimmy. He's too proud of
it. He says it tost him $300,000—
that’s the amount, you know, that
old Coopons will give his daughter
when shemurries." Cleveland Plain
Healer.
MEAN TO KEEP UP QUALITY.
French walnut growers in the
neighborhood of Grenoble have
formed an association to maintain 1
the reputation and guarantee the,
quality of the walnuts commonly ,
known ns “Grcnobles.”
THEIR USE.
Said He AA'hat good arc rich re
lations, anyway ?
Said She—Oh. they are all right j
when you want something to point
to without pride.
ANOTHER TRUST PLANNED.
Growers of the cocoa bean in ,
South and Central America are plan
ning a trust to control the price of
cocoa.
— ,.*■■■
DEFINED.
“Tommy, what is a nuisance?”
“Please, ma'am, it’s something be
Ioecs to somebodj else.”
FIRST AMONG THE NATIONS
Duty of Every Citizen tc Maintain and
Increase America's P'Cud
Position.
Amt l ie# is the tlir-.no of the
world. On her cast is the greatest
•wean of the present : on her west is
tlie greatest ocean of the future: on
her Minth tin greatest of gulfs: on
her north the greatest of lakes. She
enn command the trade of the world
in material things: slu enn lead the
march of the nations in spiritual
things, writes Senator Albert J.
Beveridge, in Appleton's Magazine,
rvet us do both. With more schools
where the learning of man is taught;
more churches where the word of
tlod is preached: more nerve and
brain and pure resolve than all the
world combined, lit us keep the load
ersliip that now is ours and captain
mankind to tin practical realization
of humanity's highest hope*.
PRESIDENT JACKSON S RETORT.
The Irish-Ameriean humorist did
not appear in literature before the
time of tlu oi\il war, though when
the occasion called fur a remark lhat
would outlast more pompon ex-,
prossions he generally said some
thing Mint enriched the language. It
was the son of an Irishman. Presi
dent Andrew Jackson, who, when
his secretary of state. Van Huron,
proffered him unasked advice as to
how the president, should receive a
visiting foreign nobleman, replied,
paternally:
“Van, i once knew a man in Ten
nessee who made his everlasting for
tune by minding his own business.” ,
The humor here is not very subtle,
but the speech was intended rather
to he effective than amusing. The
Surnlav Magazim.
NO PLACE FOR PICTURES.
An incident in which humor and
pathos were combined occurred in .
the Italian settlement of Philadel
phia the other (lav after a mission
worker hud handed a little Italian
child a picture card.
“Here, little girl,” said the wom
an. “you can lake this home and
hang it on the wall of your home.”
“We has no walls in our room,”
said the child.
“No walls,” said the worker, look
ing amazed.
"That's right. There are live fam
ilies in the room where we live, one
in each corner, and we live in the
middle of tin1 ro«>m, so you see we
ain't got no walls to hang anything
on.”—-Philadelphia Press.
QUITE PROBABLE.
It is evident that the young man
who writes the news items in the
Willowbv Times wishes always to bo
on the safe side and ( xercisc due cau
tion in his statements.
“When Mr. Uunuel Hawkins en
tered the bedroom on ihe ground
floor of bis farmhouse one day last
week,” wrote the careful news-gath
erer. “he found that a cow, probably
astray, had made lit r way there front
the open door."—Youth's Com
panion.
BUGSEYE VIEW.
— - - - _
Hill Hug—Hi! Here comes another
one of them blamed automobiles.
THE EDITORS SALLY.
City Editor—What do you mean
i v saying in this robbery story that
“Brown was knocked down and re
lieved of a hundred dollars?” Were
you ever robbed yourself?
New Beporter—No, sir.
City Editor That accounts for it.
If you'd been robbed you wouldu’t
describe the loss of a hundred dollars
as a relief.
HIS RECORD.
Tommy Wrott—You told Dora
Hope that you bad refused me at
least half a dozen times. What a
whopper!
Lotta Guph—It wasn't a whopper,
either. Don’t you remember that
you proposed to me six timet last
Thursday eveinj^?
LESSON TOM DID NOT NEED
Col. Ochiltree Early Showed Precocity
Along Lire* on Which He After
ward Became Famous.
Col. lorn Ochiltree,'long time fa
mous for his brilliant exaggerations,
facetiously by some called a cham
i ion liar and never denying bis right
to the title, once said :
“Although I was always modest.
<|uiet and retiring, even ns a child,
mv father sometimes administered
rawhide applications to my back, for
• v general improvement. On one oc
msion, as lie was taking that sort of
exercise, he exclaimed:
“ ‘I’ll teach you to lie, and steal,
•'md smoke, and use profane lan
guage, you young rascal!’
“ Never mind, father,’ I howled
enthusiastically. -I know- nil them
I ranches already.' "
A REAL CONVERSION.
A member cd I he I nion league of
Aev A ork was praising the charac
ter of the late Oliver Hazard Perrv.
lie said:
"Here was a man of sincerity. He
was talking one day. 1 remember, of
a maid servant who had got religion;
and it seemed to me, as I listened,
that his own character was of the
same thoroughgoing sort as that
"Inch followed the maid’s change ot
neart.
“ 'So you are convc tied, Maggie?’
this maid’s mistress said to her.
'* 'f don't know, ma'am,’ said the
maid, eeriomlv, ‘but I seem to bo. A
great change has come over me.’
“‘How great a change?’ said the
lady.
“'Well, ma’am,’ replied the maid,
‘since that there revival I always
sweep under the mats now.' ”—
Washington Star.
HIS DREAM CAME TRUE.
In ]86."> a German predicted that
he would he a victim of a war that
would take place in 1866. The war
occurred, hut did not affect him.
The other day I'.’ ye ars later—lie
was laughing at his old-time prophe
cy, and boasting of his good health.
In liis happy mood, he bought an old
cottage from a friend, and straight
wav went to inspect it.
Jn the garden there was a cjnnn
tifv of old iron, and among it a
shell dat.ing from 1866. lie picked
it up. and c\as examining it when
it exploded, and he was killed on the
spoi. The prophecy had come true.
-—Zeitnng, lb ilefeld, Germany.
LOGIC.
“Madam. ’ said the attorney for
the other side, “you seem to have an
exceedingly sharp temper.”
“Yes, sir," answered the complain
ing witness in the divorce case. “It
comes to me by direct inheritance
from mv husband's ancestors."
“That’s absurd, madam. ITow
could you inherit an irritable dispo
sition from your husband's ances
tors?”
“I inherited my husband from
them, didn't 1 ?”
AS MODIFIED
The usual crowd of loafers were
seated around the stove in the village
grocery.
“I never lied to my wife in my
life—'■' began one of the bunch, when
he was interrupted by a unanimous
laugh that was loud and long.
“That I didn't get caught at it,”
ended the* speaker, after the laugh
had subsided.
Whereupon silence reigned su
preme for nearly 23 seconds.
THE DANCING SEASON.
The Young Lady (who was sit
ting on a sofa which she had all to
herself, to her favorite admirer)—1
thought you were a mind reader.
“Lather! I'm an expert,” said the
young man, pluming Ids evening
dress tie.
“Well,” looking at the vacant
space on the sofa, “I don't believe
it!”—Illustrated Bits.
THE DEBUTANTE.
Quest at the Coming-Out Crush to
Quiet Old Person in a Corner—
Awfly plain girl, this new bud, don’t
vou think? lias her mother's looks,
hasn’t, she?
Quiet Old Person—Thank you, I
guess she has. I’m her father.
BEFORE AND AFTER.
John Alden was soliloquizing.
“And yet,” he mused, “before we
were married Priscilla asked me why
I didn’t speak for myself.”
Herewith he tried to get a word
in edgewise.
GEHLING
The Great Character Comedian
j. c. LEWIS
and an Excellent Cast
in
"Si Plunkard’’
One of the Best Rural Comedy Dramas on the American Stage
produced with a wealth of appropriate scenery
Complete Band and Orchestra
Actual Scene showing-a Monster Machine in Operation
5 - Big Specialties - 5
Hear the Home Quartette
2 - Free Street Concerts Daily - 2
5 - Big Song Hits - 5 !
—— I -T 1 T IB II —
Announcement
We are pleased to announce that our Spring
campaign of the biggest values in Farm Ma
chinery for 1909 is now on. You are invited to
call and inspect our lines.
A complete line of John Deere Farm Machin
ery, Hay Loaders and Stackers.
McCormick Binders and Mowers.
Avery Cultivators and Planters.
Sharpies Tubular and DeLaval Cream Sep
arators.
Litchfield Spreaders.
Gasoline Engines. Old Hickory and Avery 1
W agons. Keys Bros", and \ ehlie Buggies.
No trouble to show our goods.
Loucks & Jones
FALLS CITY NEBRASKA
Ready to Deliver Crystal Lakes Ice
ICE
Phene 38 MAUST BROS.
RliSTICO
28633
Percheron Stallion, Dapple
Grey, foaled August. lxey. Bred
by Keiser Bros of Keota, Iowa.
Got by Dor 21452 39271), he by
' Bon lard 12008’' . he by Senateur
(2.381), he by Picador, belonging
to M. Dupont Dam, Dakota Quality. L'4ibl by Bambin BioM? (.'54654),
by l’ayard (JlnOib. he by Picador 5042 (6919 . lie by ('heri 5464 , he by
Monton. he by Coco of Misle sur-sarthe.
Rustico is 16 hands high and weighs 17Oti pounds when in pood
flesh Rustico has proven a sure foal getter and has a great many good
colts to his credit. His disposition is fine and his action good. Don’t
fail to examine this horse before breeding.
I I'll nn is 7 years old this spring. He is of Mammoth breeding, jet
u l I llv i. ack with white points, splendid head and ear. extra heavy
boned and is a splendid individual. He is 14* hands high and weighs
950 pounds when in good tlesh. He is a sure foal getter and you will
make no mistake in breeding* to him.
1 RUSTICO and JUMBO will be at is. B. Miles farm, koowu as the
Joe Holmes place, 2 miles south and 5 mile? west of Falls City, on Mon
day and Tuesday of each week. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
at my place and on Saturday at Chapman's Feed Yard. Falls City, Xeb.
TERMS -$10 to insure colt to stand up and uick Service fees due
if Mare is sold or removed from County before time of foaling. Mare
and Colt held for service. Care will be taken to prevent accident, but
will not be responsible should any occor. 1 secured this stock from J.
G Whitaker of Kansas City, who has tested them thoroughly and you
will find them worthy vour patronage.
“hVT Thos. J. Whitaker.
FALLS CITY NEB