THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , JUNE 12 , 1908 ,
THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE
Entered as second-class matter al
I'nlls City/Nebraska , post oftice , Janu <
nrv 12 , 1W4 , under the Act of Congress
jn Mnrch 3,1879.
PuMishcd every Friday at Falls City ,
Nebraska , by
The Tribune Publishing Company
C. F. Slmrls , Mand/fcr
One year Sl.CO
Six n'onths "i"
Three months 40
TELEPHONE 226.
The time lias arrived when a
dry weather man could command
good premium. The rain mak
crs will have to vamoose.
Brother-in-law Tom Allen will
have to be muzzled or the Democ
racy will be kept busy explaining
away the $20,000 contribution
from a New York syndicate.
Not many years ago ( a purse
was made up in this community
to get rain makers here to make
it rain. Why not change the or
ilcr and employ some dry weather
man to manufacture a little dry
weather.
You can not judge manhood
aael womanhood by the garments
worn. Many of the brightest
characters are enclosed within
humble garments , and many of
the vilest under fine silks and
broad-cloth.
If our forefathers of fifty and
sixty years ago , who then spoke
of Nebraska as a portion of the
great American desert , could look
tJown upon our plains today they
would be compelled to say , verily ,
"The desert has been made tc
blossom as the rose. "
We are promised another raise
In the price of beef of from 1 to-C
cents per pound. At this rate
we will be compelled to bccom <
more largely vegetarian than ever
The only way , apparently , to nice
a raise in price of meats is to cu
down the consumption of it.
Our esteemed contemporary
the Palls City News , is scverel ;
shocked by the views ot Mr. Wat
son , concerning its demigod , Mr
W. J. Brjan. In 18 % . while ;
vice presidential candidate will
Mr , Bryan , his every utteranct
was gospel. Now everything ii
false , abuse , and slander. Tin
News has our sympathy.
Iloke Smith , ol Georgia , wa ;
beaten for renomination for gov
miorof his state , although lu
has served but one year. Hi
stumped the state u n d m a d <
speeches in every county. Mr
Brown , his successful opponent
made no speeches and won thi
nomination. Silence is sometime
evidence of political , wisdom.
Rumor has reached us tha
Silas R. Barton of Grand Island
grand recorder of the A. O. U.W ,
also a member of the finance com
uiittee of the supreme lodge , wi !
be a candidate for state aiulitc
on the republican ticket. Mi
Barton is well known throughot :
the state , and the fact of his ha ;
ing been elected five times to th
office of grand recorder of th
A. O. U. W. proves the hig
esteem in which he is held an
that he is the right man for tli
place ,
A local politician , who is note
for his sound political judgmen
has some interesting figures c
the probable vote for Bryan ar
Taft in the electoral colleg
He figures that of the 484 ele
toral votes to be cast , Taft wi
be sure of 2')0 or 47 votes mo
than will be needed to elect hit :
He concedes 127 electoral votes
Bryan and 66 votes as doubtfu
Even if Bryan were to receive a
of the 66 votes which he classifu
as doubtful , he would still be i
votes short of election. No1
So let us saw wood and prepa
for four more years of Republic :
control. Bryan will still be fn
to tour the country as a chauta
qua lecturer.
Jim McDowell and wife of T
tumseli , came down the first
tke week for a visit with relativ
la this city.
pOHHaKSME BK * SMIBB M I IK . ! 11 I I ' " i lll II II I III - I M i . I B
Tar" tt % rjgr ° BBH & % 7f
A Willing Worker
MONEY is always ready to earn you more
money when given the opportunity.
We Furnish The Opportunity
IF YOU 1IAVK a few dollars of idle money
about you , you had better ask us about
the plan.
Falls City State Bank
Capital and Surplus , $70,000.00
Dr. Miller on Bryan and tue
$15,000.00.
The following letter from Dr.
Miller of Omaha to the Omaha
Bee is to the point and worthy of
reproduction in these columns.
It is a letter from a very able
Democrat , who was once editor
of the Omaha Herald , a staunch
Democratic paper. We give it
below without further comment :
Omaha , June 4 , 1908.
To the Kditor of the Bee :
The revelations which show
that $15,000 was brought into the
state in 1/J04 with which to buy
votes in "blocks of five" and per
capita that Mr. Bryan might be
sent into a cushioned seat in the
United States senate and George
Washington Bcrge might occupy
the governor's chair , which is
now undeniably adorned by Gco.
L. Sheldon , came like a clap of
what Lord Byron might call "live
thunder1' from a cloudless sky.
The shock among the Bryancse
democracy and to Mr. Bryan him
self appears to be something
awful. Hit birds are Hying tc
cover in every direction and feath
ers curtain the shining sun ,
Brother-in-Law Allen throws uj
his holy hands , and the almightj
and everlasting Dahlman opens
his mouth in concerted chorus t <
admit that they got and spent tht
money , both swearing that Bryar
knew nothing about it.
"Who said he did ? Why thii
hurricane of protest which teemi
in the press and keeps the wire !
hissing hot , with denials fron
Mr. Bryan and his trusted confi
dants that the peerless and pun
One knew nothing about it ? '
Certainly , and , of course , Mr
Bryan knew nothing about it.1
Of course not. A very suspicious
and acute man is Mr. Bryan in al
political and personal affairs ex
cept when vast sums of monej
are buying votes for him
THAT DAI.V VUND.
Ten years ago a similar thitif
happened when some one of hi :
audacious henchmen escaped fron
his control and lied into tin
"Rocky" of Heosidam , the silvc
mounted abode of Marcus Dal ;
and other "plutocrats1 am
brought down to Omaha fron
$50,000 to$75,000 of their taintci
money for the same purpose
Twenty-five or $30,000 was raise
in the state to buy up local lead
crs. and $40,000 is said to hay
t
beed needed in Omaha to buy on
and buy up newspapers and ganu
of starving loafers in the lowe
wards of the city in that day c
universal distress from panic an
poverty. Mr. Bryan evidentl
e "knew nothing about it" then t
the same extent that he "kno\\
nothing about the $15,000 hat
from "Wall street" and thoj
political pirates and personal ou
laws , Ryan and Sheehan , as M
Bryan hasiso often described then
Of course not. lie is simpl
11 minded and dull in all such wicl
11u 11e edness in politics and he seems 1
u be hopelessly benighted.
And here comes another of tl
o
1. B.'s in our hi h-born politics i
11 the person of George Washingtc
11S : Berge , stool pigeon for Mr.Bryai
who was the camNute for go
ernor. According to the almifjhi
v
, e and everlasting Dahlman , cvci
cent of that $15,000 rotten mon <
n
was obtained for the sole purpo
of electing him governor , and h
too , ' 'knew nothing about it. "
TIMBliKV'OK KNOW-NOTHING I AK'
It is respectfully submitted th
jf a full-fleged know-nothing par
could be organized in Nebrasl
with this kind of very raw mate
ial if Mr. Bryan would consent to
decorate its head , and Stool-
Pigcon Berge would agree to
grace the tail. Mr. Berge also
"knew nothing about it , " because
like the explosive Mr. Bryan , he
says so himself , which , of course ,
ought to settle the question be
yond all debate or doubt , es
pecially since Brother-in-Law
Allen and our eminent ) uniyersal
and everlasting friend Dahlman
declare the same thing. My dis
tinguished neighbor , Constantine
Smyth , I think , would agree
with me in this as a fine lawyer
and a gentleman of rare judg
ment. That anonymous lawyer
.mentioned by the Bee should im
mediately proceed to hide his
diminished head after having said
that Mr. Bryan knew all about it.
At any rate Mr. Bryan and Mr.
Berge are the most benighted
pair that were ever heard of in
all the annals of the democratic
party. Mr. Bcrge didn't see or
touch a dollar of that royal fifteen
thousand for which Brother-in-
Law Allen and our universal and
everlastling friend Dahlman jour
neyed 3,000 miles for the sole
purpose of making him governor
of the state. This curious fact
evidently dazes and disgusts him.
But he should be reasonable.
Those who know the political
purity of soul of Mr. Bryan can
readily understand why Brother-
in-Law Allen and the universal
and everlastling Dahlman did not
let him "know anything about it. "
They were afraid he would be
shocked out of the campaign for
the senate if he were allowed to
"know anything about it. " For
the same heavenly reason , it is
more than likely , they also de
cided not to allow Mr. Berge to
"know anything about it. "
My own deliberate opinion isi
if I may be allowed to express an
opinion on my own work , that I
have made the vindication of the
two benighted B.'s as clear as
mud. GnouGK L. MIU.KK.
oiub
Henry Lint was visiting friends in
this vicinity last week
A Burk and wlfo were guests of O A
Burk and family Sunday
Mrs O A tlulnn Is visiting with Mrs
Guy Lichty this week
Mrs Chas Stump is a guest of Mrs
Win Uartlott this week
Mablo Anfior of Verdon is spending
the week with relatives
Guy Prlno and wlfo were guests of
the latter's parents Sunday
Susie and Mary Feldler were guests
of Ethel Peck last Wednesday
Herman Beechy and wife were guests
of Wea Nedrow and wife Sunday
Frank Lichty enjoyed a visit from an
uncle and hie sister Marie Saturday
Dee Spickler und wife spent Sunday
evening with H J Prichard and wlfo
Chas Mc\Valn and wife of Rule , Fret
Chesley and wife of Falls City and E
Mrs Perry ShaiTer and daughter were
guests at E D Shaffer's last Wednesday
George Prlehard and family were
guestof Frank Cook and family Sun
day
Miss Claude Vocam of Dubols spent
a few days with Mrs Noah Peck this
week
Guy Hchtj and wife attended the
Sunday school convention at Verdon
last Thursday
Frank Lichty and family , Chester
Stump and family and Guy Lichty and
y wlfo spout Sunday in Falls City with
John Liebty and wife
Clem Slump has fold his farm to
Martin Nolle Mr Stump gives posses
> e sion Sept 1st Ho will go to Arizona to
Uvo owing to poor health of his wife.
U J Prichard , Gee Prichard , Cleo
Peek , Guy Lichty. Kd Kimmel and
Chester Stump and their families en
joyed themselves at Frank Lichty1
last Friday with an old fashion swin
and In the evening Ice cream and cak
r-\ \ was served
Last Call at Forced
Fair Warning ! no more , no less !
Saturday , June 13 ,
the last day , as we are to settle with the Ben Cole
Mercantile Co , , of Peny , Okla , , therefore , as a wind-up
we offer you an opportunity , the like which was never
heard of in Falls City , We are pulverizing prices to
the .
ground. W 5
fi tPm
Don't forget this is the \1 Ctl L T T VO LCI 11
wind up of this great
Forced Sale and we have"T | i\
cut everything that you I I AT Ml H ( IT
must buy. It is now or never. vlvr lllllltL
HUMBOLDT.
C H Wilson and family moved this
eek to Lincoln
Onkloy James went up to Lincoln on
uslncss Monday.
A J Buorstetta was In Lincoln the
alter part of the week.
Jns II Smith and daughter , Mabel ,
pent Sunday In Pawnee City.
Arthur Gordons and wife of York ,
re in the city visiting relatives.
Fred Fisher a.ul wife spent several
ays of the week with St Joe friends.
George Petrashek is homo from his
ehool work at the etato unlverslt- .
A llttlo daughter was born to Art
Vilson and wife , Saturday , Juno Oth.
J Rock Williamson spent a part of
ae week with a daughter in Lincoln.
Ernest and Frank Porr returned the
nrly part of the week from Kansay
City.
The Presbyterian Kensington mot
vith Mrs F W Carver on Tuesdao af-
ernoou.
Nelllo Snoko and Sarah Edic went to
Jneoln Mondav where they will attend
ummer school.
Chus C Campbell and family of Has-
ings , are in the city visiting relatives
nd friends.
Floyd Furse and wife went over to
Auburn Monday to attend the funeral
f a relative.
R R Phllpot and wife returned Wed
nesday from a visit in Lincoln and Am-
pahoe , Nebr.
Mrs Will Tracy of Union , Neb , was
i guest this week at the homo of O. A.
Cooper and wife.
A A McMurray and family of Des
Moincs , Iowa , arrived here Wednesday
or a visit with friends.
Lois Hummel cnmo down from Lin-
oln Monday and will spend his yaw-
Ion in Hnmboldt.
Althea Berry left the middle of the
vcek lor St Joseph , where she will ro <
nain during the summer.
Sam Turner and wife of Wollfleet ,
Nobr. , were here the past week \islt-
ng their numerous friends.
Herbert Ford has returned from
Grand Island , \vhoro he has been at-
ending college the puat year.
Mrs J J Thompson lo.'t the past wee'rf
or Colorado Springs , Colo. , where she
vlll remain for the .summer.
Harry Phllpot returned Friday frorc
Kearney , where he has been in attend'
anco at a military academy ,
H E Boyd , Jesslo Draper and Holer
Allen attended the state Sunday schoo
convention in Fremont this week.
Edna and Erna Brlggs , who had beer
visiting the family of J T Briggs , have
returned to their home at Oneida , Kaa
Mrs M E Kentner and granddaughtci
Helen , left this week for Beatrice
where they will make their homo It
the future.
R R Hill of Geneva , who formerly
taught In the city schools , spent scv
oral days this week with his Humbold
'rionds. '
A A Tanner and family will move U
Lincoln In the near future , where Mi
Tanner has lately purchased a lumbei
yard.
A H Fellers and son , John , attendee
the state undertakers' association
which convened In Lincoln tlmjulddli
of the week.
Mrs D B Colhapp returned Monda ;
to her home In Tecumseh'aftera week'
visit at the homo of her son , E C Col
happ and family.
John Tlgbo and Logan Cornohu
have returned from an extended trl
in Canada , where the former owns cor
slderablo land.
The Knights of Pythias tendered
reception to the members of the Horn
Dramatic company , who several week
"A Substitute
ago rendered the play
Will" under the auspices of the lodgt
The reception was held In the ha
Thursday evening last.
Mrs Bob Travers returned Saturday
to her homo in Lincoln , after a two
week's visit with his parents , Win Coo
per and wife.
A L ShaiTer and wife returned Fri
day from Pawnee City , where they had
been in attendance at the funeral of
the former's father.
Glenne Wilson , Ethel Shultz and
Wana Xlmraerman left the first of the
week for Peru , where they will regis
ter as students at the summer school.
Humboldt was visited early Sunday
morning by a terrific wind storm , which
did considerable damage , the east side
of the Segrlst lumber yard being badly
wrecked by the storm.
Mrs Ruth Chambers Wolfe , a former
Instructress In the city schools , who is
now located in CouncU Bluffs , was In
the city the past week visiting her rela
tives , the Cooper families.
Cards have been issued announcing
the marriage of Dr Elmer E Meyers
and Bertha A Frank , the event to take
place at the home of S M Philpot and
wlfo on Wednesday , Juno 17th , at high
noon.
J F Walsh and wife returned Satur
day from Omaha where Mrs Walsh had
been receiving medical treatment in
one of the hospitals. Her health it
considerably improved.
Mrs John Brock.uan is now located
in the residence which she recently
purchased of L. Howell. R L HolT and
family , who had been occupying the
house , moved to the cottage vacated by
Mrs. Brockman.
Every Canadian a Villager.
Perhaps every Canadian does not
know that ho Is a "villager , " says the
London News. For the country owes
its name to a curious misconception
on the part of M. Jacques Cartler ,
who is credited with the discovery ol
the St Lawrence. Ho could make but
little out of the conversation of the
natives , and , hearing them frequently
use the word "Kanata , " their name
for a village , he fell into the mistake
of supposing that It was the name ol
their country. Thus , In more than
one sense , has Canada grown from a
little village to a great state.
An Unlucky Coin.
"The quarter-dollar , " said a numls
matlst , "should be a very unluckj
coin. It Is nothing but one mass ol
thlrteens. There are 13 stars on it
There are 13 letters In the scroll thai
the eagle holds In its claws , there ar (
13 feathers In the eagle's tall , and
there are 13 feathers In Us wing. Or
the shield there are 13 parallel lines
13 horizontal stripes and 13 arrow
heads. Finally , In the word 'quarter
dollar' there arc just 13 letters. "
But Yet a Man !
"I suppose I have about the mos
thoughtful , kind and considerate hus
band In the world , " she was saying
eadly. "When he comes homo n
about two of the morning , turns al
the lights on and wakes mo out of i
sound sleep , ho always says In tin
most polite- way Imaginable :
" 'Don't let rno disturb you , dear
but will you please help mo to un
fasten this collar button1"
Australian Rolling Stones.
Hound gray stones which are rea
rolling stones are plentiful In AUE
tralla. They are of no value savi
as curiosities. When laid on a tabli
these stones begin to quiver. Thei
they begin to roll , first with a slow
then with a faster gait toward thi
table's center. In a few minutes the ;
will all be together in a tight bunch
The magnetic Iron ore which they con
tain accounts for their motions.
On the Wrong Wire.
An uptown doctor * who Is noted fo
Inclslveness of language was sltUnj
In his offlco the other day when th
telephone bell rang.
"Hello , " answered the doctor.
' ; Hello. " came a voles. "Is this th
undertaker's office ? "
"No , " replied the doctor , "you'v
It a little , " d U hung up t& "
HAD TO BE MORE EXPLICIT.
"Dear Grandpa" Conveyed Little to
Post Office Officials.
A member of the Yale basketball
team which played here a night or
two ago received a check a present In
three figures from his grandfather
who lives in n New Jersey town. The
check , as a matter of fact , was a fake
prepared by William L. Lush , the
Yale coach , formerly left fielder on
the Cleveland baseball team , who was
hero with the team. But fake or no
fake the recipient of the check got
mighty excited.
Ho raced right across the Hollenden
lobby to the telegraph desk , the min
ute ho saw the size of the check , and
wrote out a telegram as follows :
"Dear Grandpa , , New Jersey.
Thanks very much for check. This IB
a receipt. Your grandson. " He wrote
It just that way.
Then ho hustled into the writing
room to thank grandpa more fully by
letter.
While ho was preparing the letter a
bellboy brought him back his tele
gram , along with the 30 cents ho
had paid to send It 30 In pennies
and this was written across the mes
sage : "Can't find anybody named
dear grandpa. " Then the Yale boj
came to. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
WHY BE CRABBED ABOUT AQE ?
One Instance , at Least , In Which It
Brought No Good.
At the dinner that the Chicago
Press club gave In Edward Payson
Weston's honor , the veteran pedes
trian said of old age :
"Ago Is no crime , but you would
think so from the way some people
try to conceal It. We can give the lie
to ago by being gay , vigorous , bouyant ,
and it is foolish of us to resent our
burden of years In any other manner.
"Tho aged Bon Davles of St. Joseph
resented his years in a foolish , crusty ,
surly way.
" 'Hello , old man Daviesl * an elder
ly St. Joseph lawyer said to him one
morning.
" 'Old ! ' Davles snarled. 'Old , hey ?
Well , how about yourself ? I'm no old
er than you are. What's your earliest
recollection ? '
"Tho lawyer grinned at old man
Davles and replied :
' "Well , let me see. Yes , I think
that's it. My earliest recollection Is
hearing folks say : 'There goes old
man Davles. ' "
Messenger Pigeons.
In taking Its observations the mes
senger pigeon rises to the height vary
ing between 200 and 700 feet , accord
ing to the climatic or other local con
ditions. But , whether the height bo
200 or 700 feet , the pigeon flies in a
series of circles , but always returns
to a central position Immediately
above the spot from which It has been
released. As soon as it has accurately
determined its direction it darts off
for home. The speed varies accord
ing to atmospheric conditions. With
a strong wind behind them , they will
fly at a velocity of 1,500 or l.COO yards
a minute.
Stilt Skating.
"They skate on stilts In Sweden , "
said a traveler. "It Is an odd and
pretty sight to see. Hero a girl skims
along , elevated two feet above the Ice.
There goes an expert upon stilts flvo
feet high.
"Stilt skating is very , very difficult.
Nevertheless , the Swedes do the outer
and inner edge , cut rings backward ,
even make the grapevine.
"But when they fall ! A fall from
five-foot stilts often makes a hole In
the Ice. "
Knew How to Treat a Lady. '
The woman had been accused of
murder , the evidence sustaining the
charge , but the jury brought In a
verdict of "not guilty. "
"How did you reach such a mon
strous conclusion ? " asked the Judge ,
severely.
"Your honor , " returned the fore
man , do we look like 12 jays that
don't know how to treat a lady ? "
