THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , JUNE 10 , 1908.
Funeral Reforms.
The National Association of
Funeral Directorshas petitioned
Congress to stop the "inhuman
practice * 'of burial at sea.
Where does the "i n h u m a n'1
come in ? Isn't a sea burial , as
a matter of fact , just as humane
as interment in cold clay , or
consignment to a furnace ?
The National Association of
Funeral Directors , to tell the
truth , is simply trying to help
its members by adding to their
revenues.
The best thing the undertakers
can do , however , is to Ireep still ,
and trust that public attention
will not be drawn to them , for
there is no more crying evil in
the land than undertaking
charges.
Who wants to haggle over the
price of a coflin ? Even were the
bargain not driven in a time of
intensest grief and distraction ,
there would still be a certain re
straining delicacy. The under
takers presume upon this , and
charge as they please.
Aside from the undertakers
extortion , this matter of funer
als is cursed by other evils. As
things are at present , our interment -
ment of the dead is only saved
from ridiculousness by the trag
edy of the tact itself. Silver
handles for the coffin , rare trap ,
pings , so many carriages , so
much of this , so much of that ,
until the sorrowful event comes
to be as much a matter of social
rivalry as card parlies.
We can't blame the people in.
volved. Death.is always attend
ed by regret for things left un
done , and a certain bitterness of
self-reproach. This phase of
grief finds its only easement in
lavish funeral expenditures.
' 'Dear shall have as fine a fun
eral as money can buy. "
Funeral fashions should be re
formed juat as other fashions
have. There should be an end
to this ghastly grandeur , this
striving aftereffect. Simplicity ,
dignity these are the only ends
-.4- - . that should be held in view.
George Creel ,
Tbe Vacation Problem.
With the month of June begins
n period of special anxiety to par
ents. The school houses are closed ,
not to be reopened till they are
nired and swept in readiness for
the opening of school in the fall.
Of n sudden the thousands of chil
dren are thrown out of a job. In
cities , when sudden exigencies
throw huge numbers of men out of
work , the authorities close the sa
loons audhire extra policemen. We
nre used to the crisis of school clos
ing , else we should have something
of the kind in that case.
Vacation time is a critical period
in child life , the more BO that the
fact is not generally understood.
Mischief for idle hands to do
abounds on every side. As yet
nobody has succeeded in devising
H child labor law that would at the
ennie time protect the children
from the danger of overwork and
the vicious effects of idleness.
Probably'the solution of this difli-
culty will lie in finding a way to
use the school houses the year
round. The teachers cannot be
kept at work twelve months. They
wear out fast enough working nine.
But the vacation school , the trade
school , some sort of a school will
one day be devised that will pre
vent the children , who do not need
long vacations , from losing in three
summer months n largo share of
the training , if not knowledge ,
that they acquired in the nine
months preceding. Lincoln Jour-
mil.
Mrs. S. L. Demon , of Wayne , W. Vu , ,
writes : "I was a sufferer from kldnpy
dl&easo , so thut at times 1 could not got
out of bed , and when 1 did I could not
stand straight. I took Foloy'a Klduoy
RemoUy. One dollar bottle and part of
the second cured me entirely. " Foloy'a
Kidney Remedy works wonders where
others are a total failure. Kerr.s phar
macy.
Private Money.
Private money to loan on Real
Estate. Mortgages bought and
sold. Call at First National
Bank. 3-tf A. J. WEAVER
: S. BOB'S
It Woe Luoky That the Rostnu-
rent Cnahlor Wns n Woman
"Now , my dear , " said Mr. Bob , as
ho drew on his slippers and settled
himself for the evening. "I am rendy
to listen to your excuses for not meetIng -
Ing mo ht Hector's. "
Mrs. Bob choked bade the tears
perilously near the surface.
"I did , but you weren't there. "
"Just llko a woman , If you toll nor
to meet you east of the Masonic tem
ple she will probably go to the west
side of the board of trade. "
"But why should she do that ? "
"That's Just the point. She should
n't. " Bob kicked the footstool ener
getically.
"Well , I didn't , dear. I never went
near the board "
"Exactly. I never said you did.
What I did say was that you did not
meet me at Hector's , whore you asked
me to meet you. "
"Now , If you are going to scold "
The tears could no longer be sup
pressed.
"There , my dear , please don't do
a sprinkler turn , " and Bob assumed
n sympathetic air. "Tell me all
about it. "
"Well , I wont to the northeast
table "
"Great guns ! I said the "
"And you weren't there , as you
snld you would be , so I busied myself
with the menu until the waiters
looked at me as If they thought I
was trying to make out a foreign lan
guage. I told one of them I was
waiting for my husband , and ho
gilnncd. Then I made up my mind
that It would bo nice to order a line
luncheon and have It all ready when
you came. You see , I had held the
table almost an hour , and the waiter
stood first on one foot and then on
the other. Ho really looked like a
Christian martyr. "
"Never mind that. I am glad you
oidered such a good layout after
such a long wait. Now , If that Is
all " and Bob picked up his evening
paper.
"I.wish It had been , " she sighed. "I
ordered chicken salad , blue points ,
chocolate Ice , and O , lots of things.
The waiter looked bo grateful to hear
mo speak that I ordoied more than
I really wanted. "
"Well , If I had not been running to
the door every flve minutes to BOO if
you wore mixed In your directions , I'd
have enjoyed my lunch , too , " sighed
Bob.
"You wouldn't have enjoyed It ,
cither , If you had figured It up "
"Hang the expense , " said Bob , reck
lessly.
"And hadn't but 25 cents In your
puise , " continued she.
"Gee whiz ! but I gave you a tenner
this morning. "
"Oh , I bought the loveliest waist "
"Never mind that. How did you fix
things ? "
"I lost my appetite for one thing.
When they brought me that lovely
luncheon I just felt as If I couldn't
swallow a morsel but of course I had
to pretend. 1 sat there until I was
ashamed , and the waiter brought mo
the bill , $2.SG. I gave him the 25 cents
In my purse , and then 1 felt so much
like crying I had to keep swallowing
the lump In my throat. I hated to
offer my wedding ilng because I
haven't taken It off since "
"Yes ? " asked Bob , Impatiently.
"I thought It would be a good
scheme to have him charge It to you ,
then I remembered you said you didn't
often go there. I saw some other people
ple leaving , and I thought I would try
to sneak out with them , but the wait
er followed me , saying I had forgot
ten my check. "
Bob was past smiling. Brass but
tons and patrol wagons crossed his
vision.
"So I walked to the desk as slowly
as I could , wondering what I could
say. The cashier took the check
with a quick , businesslike air , and as
I hesitated , she looked up at mo so
curiously that the shivers ran clear"
to my boots. "
"Yos , dear ? "
" 'I haven't any money , ' I began ,
and her frosty expression frightened
mo so I nearly wept cashiers aren't
very sympathetic , are they ? "
"There Is a resemblance to other
creditors. "
"Her look frightened me so that
my wits came back and 1 remembered
I had some money 'except what I've
got where I can't get at It , ' I added.
' 1 put It there because I Intended to
buy my husband a present , and I
didn't want to spend If 'Your bill Is
12.85 , madam.1 'It's In my my stockIng -
Ing , ' I said. She told mo to como
right back of the desk She was so
smiling I began to like her. But oh ,
Bob ! what If'aho hod boon a man ! "
Had a Thought Coming.
Frau Bio was awarded by the arbi
tration court $3,750 for the loss of
her husband through nu nccldont on
board of a ship. Not long afterward
on the same ship a stoker met with an
accident which cobt him a leg , and
the same court awnrdod him $5,000.
Indignant Frau Ble wont to the court
to complain because n man who only
lost a leg got BO much moro than Bho
was allowed for the loss of u husband.
The judge , n bland and wily old gen
tleman , said "My dear lady , that
poor stoker can hardly buy a now leg
with $5,000. Now , a good looking
woman llko you with $3,760 con
easily get a new husband , younger and
perhaps moro loving than your late
husband. " The widow wiped her eyes
and smiled. She had not thought ot
that.
Real Estate Transfers.
Stcelc Cemetery Association to Ilauim
A , Cornell , wcl to n. } i H. 2 , see. 'II ,
blk.O $20
John fc llnscnyagcr and wife to A II
Kroh , w. < 1 to sw 1 BW X see 4. sc J
sc i fee C-2-15 S0.500
A. II. Kroh and Cora M. Kroh to Jacob
Bloom , w. d to sw 1 Sw \ ( sec l-2-lf >
Si.fiOO
Elizabeth H. Orr to Albert S. Story
and Kalph W Story w. d. to 8t i fee
0-2-11 $1
W , K. Waggoner and wife to J. M
Greene , w. d to lots 50 , 51 , 58 , blk
120 , also lot 8 , blk 88. also lot f > , blk
120 , Salem $2,000
J. S. Parsons and wife ct al , to Am
brose Parsons , w. d. to lot 17 , blk f > ,
Vcrdou 8100
Win. Cllne and wife to M. K. Gaudy ,
\v. d. to n # of n } 4 ne i sc } and n }
mv } tie i SoOO
Elizabeth Laforgc and John M. La-
forge to I'ctcr Frederick , sr , lots 17 ,
18 , 19 , 20 , blk 193 , Falls City..31,000
Cooper & Lliui to The HumbokU Brick
Co. , w. d. to 11 acres in sw Jof sc i
sec 4-2-13 § 1081.50
About Fathers.
Soiifj nnd poetry , history nml
fiction , for n es have told of the
wonderful depth and surpassing
tenderness of mother love , hut the
( Holders of the world's ' literature
seem to hnvo labored under the
impression that fathers are incap
able of ail'ection or devotion be
yond the ordinary. This may bo
all right from the standpoint of
the sentimentalist , for the mother's
affection for the child is possibly
more demonstrative than that of
the father , and therefore sounds
better in song and verse , but the
idea.in many instances is without
foundation in fact. Fathers theio
are who neglect their children , but
the same may be snid of motlipre.
On the other hniul , there is no lock
of examples of devotion and belt'-
sacrifice on the part of bo.th par
ents. Indeed , a great part of the
parental life la made up of sacri
fices and efforts for the benefit of
the childien. Of course the chil
dren nre worth it , at least while
they remain children , and fre
quently they grow up iu a satis
factory manner. Through all the
trials and worries , and work and
self-sacrifice , the parents get a
great joy from the children ; it isn't
all one-sided , even if the nhndowrf
are possibly as real as the sunshine.
But in the properly regulated
home , the parents share about
equally the joys and sorrows that
come. Neither has a monopoly on
the work and worry , and the love
for the children is well-balanced.
All of the above being suggested
by the death of William Jardine ,
banker , of New York , who sacri
ficed lite own life to rescue his
daughter from in front of a runa
way motor car. Of course he did
only what any parent should do ;
but that is the claim of this article ;
that fathers occasionally do the
right tiling , poets and songsters to
the contrary , notwithstanding.
Atchison Globe.
W. H. Ward , of Dycraburg , Tcnn ,
writes : "This Is to certify that I have
used Foloy's Orlno Laxative for chronic
constipation , and It has proven without
a doubt to bo a thorough practical rem
edy for this trouble , and it is with
pleasure I offer my conscientious refer
ence. " Korr's pharmacy.
The contractor is just completing
the cement floor in the new cattle
barn on the State Fair Grounds at
Lincoln. This barn is a mammoth
building 17-1x255 and will have
stalls for MO head of cattle , super-
intendent's oflice and toilet rooma
and the total cost will exceed S2I5-
000. Cattle Superintendent O. E.
Mickey of Osceola reports the re
ceipts of entries daily coming in ,
and the management confidently
expect that the ample provisions
for caring for cattle will result in
the largest exhibit August 'Jlst to
September ever held in Ne
braska.
To dtop any pain , anywhere In 20
minutes , bltnply Utko just one of Dr.
Shoop's Pink Pain Tablets. Pain mcdii-
conation blood procure that 1 all.
Dr. Snoop's Ilendudhu or Pink Puin
Tablets will quickly coax blood pres
sure away from pain centers. After
that , pain Is none. Uoadaehc , Is'cu-
ralgla , painful periods with women etc.
get instant help. 20 Tablets , 2/uj. Sold
by all dealers.
It would seem that the weather
clerk is testing people's religion
when he sends us rain for seven
Sundays.
MAGNIFIES
"You luivo lain uwnko at night , "
said a physician , "nml hoard a mouse
gnawing at the woodwork somowhcro
down In n kltchon cupboard ? "
His listener nodded.
"How loud did It sound to you as
loud n& a burglar splintering tlio door
Jambs with n jimmy ? "
Another nod.
"You have been awakened at 130
a. in. by the crying of a teething In
fant next door ? "
A shudder.
"And It Bounded llko the hearse
murmurs and mingled ululntlona of n
frenzied mob assembled outside- de
mand somebody's blood ? "
Partial collapse.
"Along toward morning you have
listened to the thin , small volco of
a mosquito circulating nbovo your
head ? "
An Involuntary slap.
"Did It sound llko the screech of n
planing mill turning out clapboards
for a burn ? "
Two nods.
"Would you have minded any of
those sounds in the daytime ? "
A shake of the head.
"Now , I have no doubt you think
that the seeming fondness of these
sounds was due to the contrasting nl-
lenco of the night. But take another
tost. You have boon In love ? "
Urn-urn ( without utterance. )
"And do you remember how much
softer and warmer and moro thrill
ing was the touch of your best girl's
hand na you strolled with her on the
way homo from singing-school at the
witching hour of half-past 0 p. m. than
It was when you called in the forenoon
to ask If you might escort her to the
aforesaid vocal exercises ? "
An unspoken yum yum.
"Was It the night silence , then , that
added the finishing touch ? "
"It WAS not , " the physician replied
to his own question , noting his listen
er's look of uncertainty. "Take an
other Instance : You think you know
how to write n llttlo , "
A smile of gratification.
"Well , you flnd yourself awake nt
night and thinking. A gem of an Idea
suddenly sparkles in the darkness
You surround It with epigrams and
while olahoiatlng the setting you fall
asleep. What does this Jewel amount
to In the morning ? "
A sigh.
"There you are" . You recall the Idea
and some of the epigrams and n little
of the setting , and all of It Is so com
monplace that you wouldn't think of
trying to mnko anything presentable
out of II. "
"The fact Is , " the physician went
on , "tho night magnifies. At night
our pleasures are more keen , our
pains more distressing , our small suc
cesses are triumphs , our llttlo failures
are disasters , our faintly-cherished
hopes appear before us as things re
alized , our small worries as over
whelming calamities.
"You find yourself awake In the
night and your thoughts wander back
to some time in your youth when In
the presence of those older and wiser
you as you now see It wore guilty
of some slight breach In deportment
or of some llttlo offense to good taste
In speech , and you dwell upon the
condemnation that must have fallen
upon you. In the morning If w.hat you
were dwelling upon so seriously oc
curs to your mind at all you smile and
say to yourself that If your fault was
noticed by anybody at the tlmo It was
too trivial for any one but you to re
member.
"Tho night magnifies , " the physi
cian repeated. "Such things as I have
mentioned prove it. It Is partly due
to the silence , but moro to ourselves.
To account for the latter would keep
me talking.
"But take It for granted that what
ever your cause for worry at night It
will look smaller by daylight , and re
fuse to dwell on it. If your anticipa
tions nre pleasant , nurse them , and
you will fall nsloep. In the morning
you will not be downcast because your
magnified hopes of the night seem un
likely to bo realized. "
And th Cockney Fled.
The father of the marquis of Bute
had an amusing experience recently In
the neighborhood of Hothesay. Hemet
met a cockney traveler who asked to
be directed to a certain place. De
ceived by the murquls' accent , the vis
itor took him for a Southron , and took
occasion to make supercilious remarks
about the barbarous Islanders of Bute.
Ho said : "Bllme me , I suppose you'rej
like me , an Englishman ? " "No , " re
sponded the marquis , "I'm a native of
Bute , this Island. " "Good gracious ! "
exclaimed the Londoner. In amaze
ment. "Thru who In the dooco tamed
yor ? " Lord Bute assumed a fierce
expression , and ruining n pomloious
cudgel ho was cany Ing , said angrily :
"Who says I'm tame ? " The alarmed
cockney turned and fled
France Had Women Warriors.
The oqunstrlun statue of Domolsollo
Phyllis do Iti Charco de la Tour du Pin
which the citizens of Grenoble In
France have erected , remembering
after BOO years what they owe to the
lady , has recalled the fact there have
been many warrior women of France-
besides Joan of Arc. Phyllis equipped
n company of her vnsunls and lode
against the duke of Savoy
Count Tolstoy Criticises Dante.
Count Tolstoy , criticising Dante ,
characterized the productions of the
Italian poet as cloudy and unintelli
gible.
* H *
I" A Bank's Success r
J ; , Community's Gain. " " 41 *
Jf * In conducting' the nlTairs of this bank , the
jt } > management has always believed that men of
$ good business judgment and conservative ideas
V * appreciate the sound , progressive bank conducted - H
\ * ducted on safe and strictly business lines ; that * l
4 its growth and success nre the community's 41' '
i * gain ; that such a bank best protects the inter- *
* w ests of its depositors , and thus proves its
; greatest help to the commercial development
V and credit of the community. 411
* i * Capital and Surplui $14,500.00 * ' '
J FARMERS STATE BANK , ! $
fy Preston , Nebraska.
Operating tinder Stale Inspection and control
&
| . . .SEASONABLE GOODS
fc Here are a few things in our line that we feel sure -
would interest you at this season of the year. 3
The MOTOR WASHER , a Monday morning -
ing necessity that you cannot afford 3
to be without. 3
Then we have the JEWEL CASH
OLINE STOVE , the ALASKA 3
REFRIGATOR , the house wife's
friends this hot weacher. 3
Lowe Bros' . , PAINT 1
will interest you , both in quality and 3
price. 3
CALL AND LOOK THROUGH OUR LINE 3
J. C. TANNER i
Ours Arc "Dependable" Goods FALLS CITY , NEB. 12
1
SEE IT AT
CHAS. M. WILSON'S
* > * ?
J < * J *
The Falls City Roller Mills f
Docs.-i general milling1 business , and manufactures the
following1 brands of flour c
I
SUNFLOWER MAGNOLIA CROWN II
The above brands arc gunraiitccd to be of the highest pos \ \
sible quality. We also manufacture all mill products and I I
. I I
conduct a gcncr.il I I
( )
Grain , Live Stock and Coal Business
and solicit a bharc of your patronage
P. S. Heacock & Son Falls City , Nebr.
WANTED !
Fat and broke to work from 4 to S
years old. Bring in your stock and
get the highest market price , at
Mettz's Sole
Falls ON , Satv June 13
J. W OWENS
Most Extensive Dealer in United States.