THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , JUNE 10 , 1908. Funeral Reforms. The National Association of Funeral Directorshas petitioned Congress to stop the "inhuman practice * 'of burial at sea. Where does the "i n h u m a n'1 come in ? Isn't a sea burial , as a matter of fact , just as humane as interment in cold clay , or consignment to a furnace ? The National Association of Funeral Directors , to tell the truth , is simply trying to help its members by adding to their revenues. The best thing the undertakers can do , however , is to Ireep still , and trust that public attention will not be drawn to them , for there is no more crying evil in the land than undertaking charges. Who wants to haggle over the price of a coflin ? Even were the bargain not driven in a time of intensest grief and distraction , there would still be a certain re straining delicacy. The under takers presume upon this , and charge as they please. Aside from the undertakers extortion , this matter of funer als is cursed by other evils. As things are at present , our interment - ment of the dead is only saved from ridiculousness by the trag edy of the tact itself. Silver handles for the coffin , rare trap , pings , so many carriages , so much of this , so much of that , until the sorrowful event comes to be as much a matter of social rivalry as card parlies. We can't blame the people in. volved. Death.is always attend ed by regret for things left un done , and a certain bitterness of self-reproach. This phase of grief finds its only easement in lavish funeral expenditures. ' 'Dear shall have as fine a fun eral as money can buy. " Funeral fashions should be re formed juat as other fashions have. There should be an end to this ghastly grandeur , this striving aftereffect. Simplicity , dignity these are the only ends -.4- - . that should be held in view. George Creel , Tbe Vacation Problem. With the month of June begins n period of special anxiety to par ents. The school houses are closed , not to be reopened till they are nired and swept in readiness for the opening of school in the fall. Of n sudden the thousands of chil dren are thrown out of a job. In cities , when sudden exigencies throw huge numbers of men out of work , the authorities close the sa loons audhire extra policemen. We nre used to the crisis of school clos ing , else we should have something of the kind in that case. Vacation time is a critical period in child life , the more BO that the fact is not generally understood. Mischief for idle hands to do abounds on every side. As yet nobody has succeeded in devising H child labor law that would at the ennie time protect the children from the danger of overwork and the vicious effects of idleness. Probably'the solution of this difli- culty will lie in finding a way to use the school houses the year round. The teachers cannot be kept at work twelve months. They wear out fast enough working nine. But the vacation school , the trade school , some sort of a school will one day be devised that will pre vent the children , who do not need long vacations , from losing in three summer months n largo share of the training , if not knowledge , that they acquired in the nine months preceding. Lincoln Jour- mil. Mrs. S. L. Demon , of Wayne , W. Vu , , writes : "I was a sufferer from kldnpy dl&easo , so thut at times 1 could not got out of bed , and when 1 did I could not stand straight. I took Foloy'a Klduoy RemoUy. One dollar bottle and part of the second cured me entirely. " Foloy'a Kidney Remedy works wonders where others are a total failure. Kerr.s phar macy. Private Money. Private money to loan on Real Estate. Mortgages bought and sold. Call at First National Bank. 3-tf A. J. WEAVER : S. BOB'S It Woe Luoky That the Rostnu- rent Cnahlor Wns n Woman "Now , my dear , " said Mr. Bob , as ho drew on his slippers and settled himself for the evening. "I am rendy to listen to your excuses for not meetIng - Ing mo ht Hector's. " Mrs. Bob choked bade the tears perilously near the surface. "I did , but you weren't there. " "Just llko a woman , If you toll nor to meet you east of the Masonic tem ple she will probably go to the west side of the board of trade. " "But why should she do that ? " "That's Just the point. She should n't. " Bob kicked the footstool ener getically. "Well , I didn't , dear. I never went near the board " "Exactly. I never said you did. What I did say was that you did not meet me at Hector's , whore you asked me to meet you. " "Now , If you are going to scold " The tears could no longer be sup pressed. "There , my dear , please don't do a sprinkler turn , " and Bob assumed n sympathetic air. "Tell me all about it. " "Well , I wont to the northeast table " "Great guns ! I said the " "And you weren't there , as you snld you would be , so I busied myself with the menu until the waiters looked at me as If they thought I was trying to make out a foreign lan guage. I told one of them I was waiting for my husband , and ho gilnncd. Then I made up my mind that It would bo nice to order a line luncheon and have It all ready when you came. You see , I had held the table almost an hour , and the waiter stood first on one foot and then on the other. Ho really looked like a Christian martyr. " "Never mind that. I am glad you oidered such a good layout after such a long wait. Now , If that Is all " and Bob picked up his evening paper. "I.wish It had been , " she sighed. "I ordered chicken salad , blue points , chocolate Ice , and O , lots of things. The waiter looked bo grateful to hear mo speak that I ordoied more than I really wanted. " "Well , If I had not been running to the door every flve minutes to BOO if you wore mixed In your directions , I'd have enjoyed my lunch , too , " sighed Bob. "You wouldn't have enjoyed It , cither , If you had figured It up " "Hang the expense , " said Bob , reck lessly. "And hadn't but 25 cents In your puise , " continued she. "Gee whiz ! but I gave you a tenner this morning. " "Oh , I bought the loveliest waist " "Never mind that. How did you fix things ? " "I lost my appetite for one thing. When they brought me that lovely luncheon I just felt as If I couldn't swallow a morsel but of course I had to pretend. 1 sat there until I was ashamed , and the waiter brought mo the bill , $2.SG. I gave him the 25 cents In my purse , and then 1 felt so much like crying I had to keep swallowing the lump In my throat. I hated to offer my wedding ilng because I haven't taken It off since " "Yes ? " asked Bob , Impatiently. "I thought It would be a good scheme to have him charge It to you , then I remembered you said you didn't often go there. I saw some other people ple leaving , and I thought I would try to sneak out with them , but the wait er followed me , saying I had forgot ten my check. " Bob was past smiling. Brass but tons and patrol wagons crossed his vision. "So I walked to the desk as slowly as I could , wondering what I could say. The cashier took the check with a quick , businesslike air , and as I hesitated , she looked up at mo so curiously that the shivers ran clear" to my boots. " "Yos , dear ? " " 'I haven't any money , ' I began , and her frosty expression frightened mo so I nearly wept cashiers aren't very sympathetic , are they ? " "There Is a resemblance to other creditors. " "Her look frightened me so that my wits came back and 1 remembered I had some money 'except what I've got where I can't get at It , ' I added. ' 1 put It there because I Intended to buy my husband a present , and I didn't want to spend If 'Your bill Is 12.85 , madam.1 'It's In my my stockIng - Ing , ' I said. She told mo to como right back of the desk She was so smiling I began to like her. But oh , Bob ! what If'aho hod boon a man ! " Had a Thought Coming. Frau Bio was awarded by the arbi tration court $3,750 for the loss of her husband through nu nccldont on board of a ship. Not long afterward on the same ship a stoker met with an accident which cobt him a leg , and the same court awnrdod him $5,000. Indignant Frau Ble wont to the court to complain because n man who only lost a leg got BO much moro than Bho was allowed for the loss of u husband. The judge , n bland and wily old gen tleman , said "My dear lady , that poor stoker can hardly buy a now leg with $5,000. Now , a good looking woman llko you with $3,760 con easily get a new husband , younger and perhaps moro loving than your late husband. " The widow wiped her eyes and smiled. She had not thought ot that. Real Estate Transfers. Stcelc Cemetery Association to Ilauim A , Cornell , wcl to n. } i H. 2 , see. 'II , blk.O $20 John fc llnscnyagcr and wife to A II Kroh , w. < 1 to sw 1 BW X see 4. sc J sc i fee C-2-15 S0.500 A. II. Kroh and Cora M. Kroh to Jacob Bloom , w. d to sw 1 Sw \ ( sec l-2-lf > Si.fiOO Elizabeth H. Orr to Albert S. Story and Kalph W Story w. d. to 8t i fee 0-2-11 $1 W , K. Waggoner and wife to J. M Greene , w. d to lots 50 , 51 , 58 , blk 120 , also lot 8 , blk 88. also lot f > , blk 120 , Salem $2,000 J. S. Parsons and wife ct al , to Am brose Parsons , w. d. to lot 17 , blk f > , Vcrdou 8100 Win. Cllne and wife to M. K. Gaudy , \v. d. to n # of n } 4 ne i sc } and n } mv } tie i SoOO Elizabeth Laforgc and John M. La- forge to I'ctcr Frederick , sr , lots 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 , blk 193 , Falls City..31,000 Cooper & Lliui to The HumbokU Brick Co. , w. d. to 11 acres in sw Jof sc i sec 4-2-13 ยง 1081.50 About Fathers. Soiifj nnd poetry , history nml fiction , for n es have told of the wonderful depth and surpassing tenderness of mother love , hut the ( Holders of the world's ' literature seem to hnvo labored under the impression that fathers are incap able of ail'ection or devotion be yond the ordinary. This may bo all right from the standpoint of the sentimentalist , for the mother's affection for the child is possibly more demonstrative than that of the father , and therefore sounds better in song and verse , but the idea.in many instances is without foundation in fact. Fathers theio are who neglect their children , but the same may be snid of motlipre. On the other hniul , there is no lock of examples of devotion and belt'- sacrifice on the part of bo.th par ents. Indeed , a great part of the parental life la made up of sacri fices and efforts for the benefit of the childien. Of course the chil dren nre worth it , at least while they remain children , and fre quently they grow up iu a satis factory manner. Through all the trials and worries , and work and self-sacrifice , the parents get a great joy from the children ; it isn't all one-sided , even if the nhndowrf are possibly as real as the sunshine. But in the properly regulated home , the parents share about equally the joys and sorrows that come. Neither has a monopoly on the work and worry , and the love for the children is well-balanced. All of the above being suggested by the death of William Jardine , banker , of New York , who sacri ficed lite own life to rescue his daughter from in front of a runa way motor car. Of course he did only what any parent should do ; but that is the claim of this article ; that fathers occasionally do the right tiling , poets and songsters to the contrary , notwithstanding. Atchison Globe. W. H. Ward , of Dycraburg , Tcnn , writes : "This Is to certify that I have used Foloy's Orlno Laxative for chronic constipation , and It has proven without a doubt to bo a thorough practical rem edy for this trouble , and it is with pleasure I offer my conscientious refer ence. " Korr's pharmacy. The contractor is just completing the cement floor in the new cattle barn on the State Fair Grounds at Lincoln. This barn is a mammoth building 17-1x255 and will have stalls for MO head of cattle , super- intendent's oflice and toilet rooma and the total cost will exceed S2I5- 000. Cattle Superintendent O. E. Mickey of Osceola reports the re ceipts of entries daily coming in , and the management confidently expect that the ample provisions for caring for cattle will result in the largest exhibit August 'Jlst to September ever held in Ne braska. To dtop any pain , anywhere In 20 minutes , bltnply Utko just one of Dr. Shoop's Pink Pain Tablets. Pain mcdii- conation blood procure that 1 all. Dr. Snoop's Ilendudhu or Pink Puin Tablets will quickly coax blood pres sure away from pain centers. After that , pain Is none. Uoadaehc , Is'cu- ralgla , painful periods with women etc. get instant help. 20 Tablets , 2/uj. Sold by all dealers. It would seem that the weather clerk is testing people's religion when he sends us rain for seven Sundays. MAGNIFIES "You luivo lain uwnko at night , " said a physician , "nml hoard a mouse gnawing at the woodwork somowhcro down In n kltchon cupboard ? " His listener nodded. "How loud did It sound to you as loud n& a burglar splintering tlio door Jambs with n jimmy ? " Another nod. "You have been awakened at 130 a. in. by the crying of a teething In fant next door ? " A shudder. "And It Bounded llko the hearse murmurs and mingled ululntlona of n frenzied mob assembled outside- de mand somebody's blood ? " Partial collapse. "Along toward morning you have listened to the thin , small volco of a mosquito circulating nbovo your head ? " An Involuntary slap. "Did It sound llko the screech of n planing mill turning out clapboards for a burn ? " Two nods. "Would you have minded any of those sounds in the daytime ? " A shake of the head. "Now , I have no doubt you think that the seeming fondness of these sounds was due to the contrasting nl- lenco of the night. But take another tost. You have boon In love ? " Urn-urn ( without utterance. ) "And do you remember how much softer and warmer and moro thrill ing was the touch of your best girl's hand na you strolled with her on the way homo from singing-school at the witching hour of half-past 0 p. m. than It was when you called in the forenoon to ask If you might escort her to the aforesaid vocal exercises ? " An unspoken yum yum. "Was It the night silence , then , that added the finishing touch ? " "It WAS not , " the physician replied to his own question , noting his listen er's look of uncertainty. "Take an other Instance : You think you know how to write n llttlo , " A smile of gratification. "Well , you flnd yourself awake nt night and thinking. A gem of an Idea suddenly sparkles in the darkness You surround It with epigrams and while olahoiatlng the setting you fall asleep. What does this Jewel amount to In the morning ? " A sigh. "There you are" . You recall the Idea and some of the epigrams and n little of the setting , and all of It Is so com monplace that you wouldn't think of trying to mnko anything presentable out of II. " "The fact Is , " the physician went on , "tho night magnifies. At night our pleasures are more keen , our pains more distressing , our small suc cesses are triumphs , our llttlo failures are disasters , our faintly-cherished hopes appear before us as things re alized , our small worries as over whelming calamities. "You find yourself awake In the night and your thoughts wander back to some time in your youth when In the presence of those older and wiser you as you now see It wore guilty of some slight breach In deportment or of some llttlo offense to good taste In speech , and you dwell upon the condemnation that must have fallen upon you. In the morning If w.hat you were dwelling upon so seriously oc curs to your mind at all you smile and say to yourself that If your fault was noticed by anybody at the tlmo It was too trivial for any one but you to re member. "Tho night magnifies , " the physi cian repeated. "Such things as I have mentioned prove it. It Is partly due to the silence , but moro to ourselves. To account for the latter would keep me talking. "But take It for granted that what ever your cause for worry at night It will look smaller by daylight , and re fuse to dwell on it. If your anticipa tions nre pleasant , nurse them , and you will fall nsloep. In the morning you will not be downcast because your magnified hopes of the night seem un likely to bo realized. " And th Cockney Fled. The father of the marquis of Bute had an amusing experience recently In the neighborhood of Hothesay. Hemet met a cockney traveler who asked to be directed to a certain place. De ceived by the murquls' accent , the vis itor took him for a Southron , and took occasion to make supercilious remarks about the barbarous Islanders of Bute. Ho said : "Bllme me , I suppose you'rej like me , an Englishman ? " "No , " re sponded the marquis , "I'm a native of Bute , this Island. " "Good gracious ! " exclaimed the Londoner. In amaze ment. "Thru who In the dooco tamed yor ? " Lord Bute assumed a fierce expression , and ruining n pomloious cudgel ho was cany Ing , said angrily : "Who says I'm tame ? " The alarmed cockney turned and fled France Had Women Warriors. The oqunstrlun statue of Domolsollo Phyllis do Iti Charco de la Tour du Pin which the citizens of Grenoble In France have erected , remembering after BOO years what they owe to the lady , has recalled the fact there have been many warrior women of France- besides Joan of Arc. Phyllis equipped n company of her vnsunls and lode against the duke of Savoy Count Tolstoy Criticises Dante. Count Tolstoy , criticising Dante , characterized the productions of the Italian poet as cloudy and unintelli gible. * H * I" A Bank's Success r J ; , Community's Gain. " " 41 * Jf * In conducting' the nlTairs of this bank , the jt } > management has always believed that men of $ good business judgment and conservative ideas V * appreciate the sound , progressive bank conducted - H \ * ducted on safe and strictly business lines ; that * l 4 its growth and success nre the community's 41' ' i * gain ; that such a bank best protects the inter- * * w ests of its depositors , and thus proves its ; greatest help to the commercial development V and credit of the community. 411 * i * Capital and Surplui $14,500.00 * ' ' J FARMERS STATE BANK , ! $ fy Preston , Nebraska. Operating tinder Stale Inspection and control & | . . .SEASONABLE GOODS fc Here are a few things in our line that we feel sure - would interest you at this season of the year. 3 The MOTOR WASHER , a Monday morning - ing necessity that you cannot afford 3 to be without. 3 Then we have the JEWEL CASH OLINE STOVE , the ALASKA 3 REFRIGATOR , the house wife's friends this hot weacher. 3 Lowe Bros' . , PAINT 1 will interest you , both in quality and 3 price. 3 CALL AND LOOK THROUGH OUR LINE 3 J. C. TANNER i Ours Arc "Dependable" Goods FALLS CITY , NEB. 12 1 SEE IT AT CHAS. M. WILSON'S * > * ? J < * J * The Falls City Roller Mills f Docs.-i general milling1 business , and manufactures the following1 brands of flour c I SUNFLOWER MAGNOLIA CROWN II The above brands arc gunraiitccd to be of the highest pos \ \ sible quality. We also manufacture all mill products and I I . I I conduct a gcncr.il I I ( ) Grain , Live Stock and Coal Business and solicit a bharc of your patronage P. S. Heacock & Son Falls City , Nebr. WANTED ! Fat and broke to work from 4 to S years old. Bring in your stock and get the highest market price , at Mettz's Sole Falls ON , Satv June 13 J. W OWENS Most Extensive Dealer in United States.