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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (June 12, 1908)
ir- 2. THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , JUNE 10 , 1908
By FRANK H. SWEET
( Coprrlnht )
"Well , tlmt is too bad ! "
She was sitting on the floor of ono
of the rooms of a Fifth Avontio hotel ,
anxiously examining the contents of ni
small tiavollng vallso , which woto
presently scattered In : i soml-clrcln
hcforo her. That the search was un
successful was apparent from the
gathering frown on her face. At last
she thrust the various articles hack
Into the vallBe and walked Impatiently
to a window. I
Several minutes of silent consterna
tion , then the frown vanlnhcd In a
clear , ringing laugh.
"Sine , this Is ono on you , Miss
Flighty Head , " she cried , monlly.
"Wouldn't llcgglo reign tilumphant If
he l < nowl Hut ho shall not find out.
No , Indeed ! " with a grimace. "Ho
would never let mo hear the last of It
If ho did. Hut what shall I do ? Tlnoo
thousand miles from homo , with only
live pounds In my purse , and not the
remotest Idea In what part of this
hurry-scurry Now York Reggie Is to ho
found. Well , nil dospcramlum , as papa
says. A Flt/gerald never gets to his
wits' end. Hut what a ninny to lose
that address. "
She remained for a long time gazing
abstractedly at the kaleidoscopic tides
of humanity In the street helow , then
n sudden flash came Into her oycs.
"Why , of course , " she said , as
though she had como to the ono
natural conclusion ; "I will earn my
living until I can get the address from
papa. Ho will be up at Uallyshannon
with his guns and dogs hoforo this ,
and It will take at least six weoka to
hear from him. 1 have often road let
ters to the servants from their people
In America , and they always go to an
Intelligence olllcc. I will go to ono
The hotel cleik was experienced In
Ills profession , and prided himself on
mi Intuitive leoognttlon of breeding.
He had boon rather Impressed by the
young lady when elio put her name on
the register , an hour bcforo , and ho
now bowed very low as she ap
Did ho know of an Intelligence of
fice ? Certainly , sovoinl of them. And
ho wrote the nddiesses for her with
ceremonious couitesy , and oven told
her at which place she would bo llkoly
to find the best servants.
When she thanked him and turned
away ho icvorscd the joglster and
stared meditatively at her signature.
"Esther Ooraldlno Fitzgerald , Ire
"Name suits her , " ho muttered.
"Somo of the old nobility , moat llko
On this very day It happened that
Mrs. Van Mautlco , of Advanced
Thought fame , was unexpectedly do-
prlvod of a housekeeper. She was In
the mldat of a round of engagements
nnd social duties , and this defection
filled her with momentary consterna
tion. She visited the Intelligence ofllco
nnd the young lady who rodu homo
with her "Esther Goraldlno. " as Bho
called herself united her very much.
Before the end of the second day aho
had all the details of the motmgo at
her command , and Mrs. Van Maurice i
was already congratulating herself on i
her acquisition , the only drawback to
her satisfaction being that said nc
qulsltion refused to engage herself for
more than two months
Ono morning Esther was In the mu
sic room arranging some folios on a
table when Bho heard quick , approachIng -
Ing footsteps. Thinking it was Mr.
Van Maurice , she went on quietly with
"I beg your pardon , I didn't know
Aunt 'Lisa had company , " said an
eager , almost boyish voice. "A serv
ant told mo she was up hero. "
"Mrs. Van Maurice Just wont into
the library , " and Miss Esther turned 1
toward him quietly. It was a very
handsome , athletic young man she
saw , and ns their eyes mot , n puzzled
expression of dawning recognition ap
peared on each face.
"Thank you. But excuse mo
haven't I seen you somewhere ? "
"Why , on board the Aurora , of
course ! " cried Miss Esther , suddenly ,
as she stepped forward with out
stretched hands , and then for some
time they exchanged reminiscences of
The next day the young man called
on his Aunt 'Lisa again , and again In :
the evening. And the next day and
the next and the next , and after that
two or three times each \veok. Aunt
'Lisa was pleased with his devotion i ,
and gave him small errands to exe
cute , and allowed him to turn her
music when she played ; and chess-lov
ing Uncle Van Maurice grow more and
more urbane , and actually told him
one evening that ho really played a
The young man went through It all
heroically , and never oven by a change
of expression Indicated that ho was
bored. And for reward ho saw Miss
Esther several times in the distance
and once actually spoke to her as ho
pissed through the hall.
"Why don't you bring your friend
with you occasionally , Harold ? " asked
Mm. Van Maurice , ono morning. "Ho
must bo n remarkable young man.
Your mother was telling mo about him
the other day. "
"Ho In a remarkable young man , "
answered Harold , warmly. "Just now
ho Is absorbed In a new Invention , nnd
can hardly bo dragged away from It.
Hut perhaps I can bring him out to
The next evening they wore all
gathered In Mrs. Van Maurice's cosy
music room , when the hostess sudden
ly tui ncd to her guest
"Would you mind telling us some
thing about yourself , Mr. Fitzgerald ? "
BIO asked. "Something about your
meeting with Harold , I mean. It must
have boon very romantic. "
The young man looked embarrassed ,
"It wan nothing , " ho doniuncd , "I
just pulled him out of a hole. "
"Holo ! " echoed Harold , Indignantly.
! ilo you call a cievasso llko that a
hole ? And Is my life nothing ? Look
hero , Fltz , If you can't toll a bettor
story than that , Just keep Btlll. I will
do the yarning myself. Hole , Indeed ! "
Ho settled himself comfortably In
his chair , nnd then looked across at
"You don't mind my giving the
whole yarn , do you , Fltz ? " ho naked.
"Aunt 'Lisa Is getting Interested In
you , nnd will not he satisfied with less
than the whole story. Well , then ,
"In the first place , nnd nn a sort of
preface , I wish to say that I nm an
honorary member of Fltz's family. Ho
has told mo so much about his people
that hlB brothers have become my
brothorB , and his Bisters my slaters. I
have never seen any of them , hut nm
going across some day and put In my
claim. Ills father Is a gentleman of
largo estate and colossal mortgage ,
and numerous children. Conine , the
oldest , was given a fine education , and
two years on the continent ; and then
ho Joined the Royal Engineers , where
ha In now a shining light. Reglnal
Cuan Fitzgerald , the second son our
friend hero" with a low bow "early
displayed signs of mechanical genius.
Ho received the customary education
and tour , which was somewhat cur
tailed by an unfortunate stringency of
the family purso. It wan on this tour
Jhat ho pulled my unworthy self from
a hole , and thereby endangered hla
nock and broke an arm. Naturally wo
"Vowed " eternal friendship and contin
ued tlwf trip together. When It was
finished , I Induced him to cross the
Atlantic with mo. My father was an
extensive manufacturer , and It seemed
to mo that this was a golden oppor
tunity for the encouragement of fallow
genius. Time proved I was right.
Roglnal Cunn Fitzgerald among ma
chinery was as diy gunpowder In n
burning building. Hoforo we could
collect our dazzled senses ho had
flashed acioas the horizon of Inexperi
ence Into a position as superintendent
of the works. "
Ho paused a moment to Bip the tea
which Mrs. Van Mauilco handed him ,
nnd then went on :
"Tho third scion of the family Is
Miss Essie , a musical genius , who was
obliged to assume charge of the house
hold on account of her mother's In-
valldlsm. Stiess of finance and this
duty have hlthoito kept her genius
somewhat In abeyance , but now , " wav
ing his hand townid Reglnal , "tlila
young Croesua cornea forward with hla
aavlngs of four years , beseeches her to
cross the big pond and avail herself of
all the musical advantages offered by
our proud city There la a family con-
sultatlon , In which It la decided that
Elizabeth Taia Fitzgerald , the fourth
aspirant , Is competent to assume the
family dlctatoislilp , and that sup
pressed genius , In the shape of Miss
Elslo , shall find its natural expansion
in America and er I bcllovo that
brings us down to contemporaneous
history ? " glancing nt his friend ,
"Yes , I suppose so , " answered RogI-
nal , with a wry face. "When I have
occasion for a biography I shall cer
tainly apply to you. " Then hla face
grow serious. "It seems strange that
I have not heard from homo. Esslo
wrote that she was all ready to start ,
and at least five or six steamers have
been In since them. Hut at this season
father usually goes up to Ballyshannon
for a few weeks' hunting , and perhaps
BIU concluded to wait until his re
"It Is nil right , undoubtedly , " said
Harold. "From what you have told mo
of her , she Is llko the traditional pussy
or , more happily , like her Illustrious
brother when she strlkea America
she will ho on her fcot. "
During the conversation Mra. Van
Maurice had occasionally regarded her
guest with a puzzled , Inquiring ox-
presslon. She had never seen him he-
fore , but somehow his features seemed
familiar ; and that peculiar way ho
had of throwing back his head why ,
she had seen It dozens of times.
Suddenly a mirthful gleam of recog-
nltlon swept the uncoitalnty from her
face , nnd she rose quickly. With her
a thought was to act.
"I suppose you and your sister re-
semblo each other , Mr. Fitzgerald ? "
"People used to say so , I bollovo ;
but Esslo appropriated all the beauty
and grace which lightly ought to have
been divided between us , "
"Those attributes naturally go to
the sister , " said Mrs. Van Maurice ,
smiling. "But would jou mind going
downstairs with mo a moment ? I have
something to show you. "
As they left the room , Mr. Van
Maurice rose with the remark that ho
would go Into the library after the
chessmen. Hardly had ho disappeared
when Harold heard a slight rustle at
"Is Mrs. Van Maurice hero ? "
"Esther ! " Harold's face was In a
glow as he stepped eagerly toward lier.
"No , don't go , " na she drew back. "I
I must speak to you , dear. I have been
coming here for weeks , and have only
Just been able to catch glimpses of
you as you flitted through some dis
tant door. I cannot cndtiro It any
longer. Uncle Van Mauilco and the
others will be back In n moment , and
I wont this settled bcfoio they return.
Darling , will you "
She raised her hand quickly. Her
face was In n glow now. She had not
been prepared for this precipitous de
"Why I " Then she burst Into a
merry peal of laughter. "What absurd
ity ! Wo do not even know each other's
He looked blank , but only for ri mo
ment. Sonic-thing oven In her raillery
gave i htm com ago.
"What of It ? " ho asked , boldly.
"Names don't signify. Wo know each
other. And , besides , the names can bo
easily lemedled. I am Harold Allyn
Ferroia , nt your service. "
"What ? " Tho'glow faded from her
face i , and then cnmo back In a quick
flood > ' of eager questioning. "Not my
brother's friend ? "
It waa his turn to look surprised.
"Your bi other ? I don't under-
"Reglnal Fitzgerald. He Is my bro
There were sudden footsteps , then :
"Hero you arc , Esther. Wo have
been ' looking for you eovrywhere. I
wish to Introduce you to my friend ,
Mr. Fitzgerald. "
An hour later , Reglnal and hlo sis
ter ' wore standing In the hall , waiting
for ' the carriage that was to take them
"It has come out all right , Essie , "
ho ' said , a little soberly , "so perhaps
It will bo as well to say no more about
it. Hut why did you not look in a city
directory ? "
Her hands went up with a quick ges.
turo of dismay.
"Reggie , I never once thought of
Harold remained half an hour
longer. When ho left , his aunt fol
lowed him to the door.
"By the way , Harold , " she said , as
she reached up to brush a stray fleck
of dust from his coat , "you must allow
mo to congratulate you. "
( Copyi ! iit. )
NOVICE GOT THE MONEY.
Twice-Told Tale of the Noble Ameri
"Ono thing Is certain , and will never
bo ' disputed ; I will never play poker
with a beginner again. "
The man wiped a perspiring fore
head ' and then took up his tnlo In awe
struck ' tones.
"I sat In a little game last night.
Two of the players were old friends
of mine and old hands at the gnmo.
The third man was n stranger to mo
nnd a novlco at poker. All of us old
er hands Bald wo would show the
green < man how to play , so after tell
ing him the principles wo stacked the
chips and started the game.
"Never In my life befoio did I see
a man hold such hands , and never did
a man have such a continuous run of
luck. That novlco fairly chowcd us
up. Ho didn't play the game. He
didn't need to , ho simply hold his hand
and raked In the pots.
"I remember ono tlmo I had two
pairs. Well , I opened the pot , and
everybody but myKolf , Including the
novlco , discarded three cards. It was
a cinch that nobody had anything
higher than two of a kind. I didn't
draw anything on my own discard ,
and everybody but the novlco dropped
out. Ho hot against mo nnd kept on
raising the pot no matter how high I
wont. I thought that ho wna bluffing
mo at first. Then I began to got
scared , so at last I throw In three
' " 1 call you , ' I said. 'What have
yon got ? '
"Ho didn't say a word , and words ,
heaven knows , \\ere-ldlo things then ,
for ho held up four face cards of a
kind. Ho had diawn four of a kind
on a discard.
"Well , sir , the bunch of us got
cleaned out after awhile. Just to try
his luck I dealt throe hands.
" 'Throw out the face cards and
count the spots , ' I snld.
"Tho novice had just twlco as many
spots as any of the rest of us.
"No , sir. I don't play cards with
greenhorns any more. If anybody
says to mo In the future : 'Come , I
have got a young friend hero who
wants to learn the game , ' I am going
j to tie my pocketbook In my trousers
pocket , and hike out. " Washington
Troubles Endured by Austria's Ruler
As to Francis Joseph , the man , 1
1ms been always the same. Blessed
with the mobt beautiful and gracious
lady in nil royal Europe as his con
sort , he eaily suffered estrangement
from her , which , although an offec
rather than a cause , bi ought him the
consciousness that as a husband , li
the eyes of his empress and queen
ho was amenable to the same rules
which governed the heai th of the hum
blest of his married subjects. Ho sav
their only son grow up a reflection o
his own weaknesses , uniedeemed b ;
his own worldly honesty nnd menta
and physical strength ; and ho saw thl
son dlo a tragic , mysterious death. HI
beloved brother , Maxlmllllan , found ai
unpltled grave In Mexico. Quo of hi
wife's sisters , the queen of the Twc
Sicilies , lost her throne In vanity am
strife ; another , Duchess d'Alencon
lost her life In the horrible Charlt ;
Bazaar flro of Paris. And then , a
Geneva , September 10 , 1899 , come th
hardest blow of all the death of hi
saintly consort by the kalfe of an as
MAD NO TIME FOR SENTIMENT ,
Secretary Morton Smashed Lifetime
Dream of Old Sailor.
In an article on Paul Morton , late
secretary of the navy , the Now York
Evening Post says :
"When , on ono occasion , a navy department
partment clerk brought him the great
official parchment commission of a
newly promoted roar admiral for hla
algiuturo ho signed It , after reading It ,
as he would any document bcforo
signing , and noting the clcik still pres
ent \\lth the document , Inquliod what
he wanted and was told :
" 'Admiral Blank would very much
like to receive his now commission
from the hands of the secretaiy of the
navy personally. '
" 'Wheio IB ho ? ' asked the secretary.
" 'Admiral Blank Is upstairs , In his
office , sir. '
" 'Ask him to como here , ' was the
command , nnd In a few moments the
grizzled veteran piesented himself to
the secretary of the navy.
"Evidently , the ofllcor was filled
with sentimental emotion on this
event the climax of his naval career.
From boyhood he had lived for this
moment , his long terms of sea duty ,
the monotony of shore service , the
anxieties of war , the arrogance of su
perior officers , the whole chapter of
the rigors , the self-denial and self-
discipline , was to bo crowned with the
evidence of honor which his country
bestows upon faithful naval officers.
Ho looked his expectation of words
of pi also , ns If In lonely watches he
had dreamed of the eloquent sentences
which would become the psalm of his
"Tho secretary of the navy stood
up , handed the open parchment to the
peechloss rear admiral , and said only
1 'Admiral Blank , hero's your com
"Then ho sat down to his desk and
went on with his work , unconscious
of having smashed a lifetime's dream. "
NOT GIVEN TO THE WORLD.
Senator's Mischief Making Confined to
His Own Knowledge.
A. senator who went to Washington
recently was met by a friend , who cor-
llally greeted him,1 and , knowing his
) redllectlon for quiet sport , said-
'Well , I hope you have boon keeping
out of mischief. "
"That reminds mo of a story , " \\as the
response. "Out In my state there was
a member of the legislature who never
ind been known to make a speech ,
le was a fanner nnd had been elected
against his will. In company with me ,
10 attended a cross-roads meeting and
ho crowd yelled that they wanted to
icar from him. Ho shambled to the
rent of the platform , threw back his
coat , and tested his hand on his hip.
I want you people to know at the
outset , ' ho declared , 'that I am a good
There was a storm of laughter at
what was believed to bo a humorous
sally. The old man , however , was In
lead earnest In his protestation of
nirlty. The laughter of the crowd an-
" 'And I want you to know , more
over , " ho shouted , 'that I am a d-
bad man , and I've got guns hero to
prove It. Hut , I know you are a bunch of
coyotes and I'll keep my guns in my
"So , " the senator concluded , "I am a
good man nnd I am n bad man. But
I'll keep my evil ways to myself. "
Statue of Marble or Bronze ?
There is a division of opinion In the
Indiana commission which has been
named to make airangement for the
placing of a statue of Gen. Low Wal
lace in the statuary hall of the cap
Itol in Washington. Porno of the
members want the memorial to bo of
bronze , vthllo the others want It to
bo of marble. It Is said that there
Is no agreement on the matter" In
There nro only a few statues of
bronze In Memorial hall , and those
that are there , to some eyes nt least ,
have not the beauty of the statues In
marble. It may be that this Is alto
gether a matter of workmanship rath *
er than of material , but the marble
memorials have n holding beauty that
the others seem to lack.
An officer of Wallace's old com
mand , Capt. McGrew , who is a mem
ber of the commission , declares that
ho never will consent to a bronze
statue of the soldier-writer. It may
ho that the matter will have to bo
settled by the legislature of Indiana
but If the legislators wore to go to
Washington and look over the memo
rials already there the chances are
whether they know anything of arl
or not they will decide in favor ol
Make Trouble for Reporters.
There Is always great excitement
among the official reporters of the
house when Representative Llttleflelt
begins a speech. The men who do
the shorthand work of congress are
regarded as the most expert reporters
ors In the country , but It Is with fear
and trembling that they approacli
their task when "tho gentleman from
Maine" Is recognized by the speak
er. Llttlofleld talks like the proverb
ial blue streak. Ho seems never to
tire or to pause for breath. If ho
did not enunciate well It would bo al
most impossible for the reporters to
catch his utterances. As It is the )
manage , by a special effort , to keep
pace with him , but they are always
glad when ho has finished. Senator
Money of Mississippi gives the senate
reporters much trouble. He Is no
only a fast talker , but has a wonder
ful vocabulary. His rapid fire o
words , in a low tone of voice , drives
the reporters almost to distraction.
+ + + . + + 0 + , + + . + , + , + , + . + ,
| BABS IN I
ITHE , CITY *
+ By ARMIGEH BARCLAY
+ + +
( Copyright. )
"Well , how did you llko the city ,
Babs ? " asked the admiral.
ISaba , perched on a high stool In
front of the tape-machine , ceased
pulling the paper ribbon through her
fingers nnd looked up.
"I'm waver bovoied , " says sho. "It's
the figures. I never was good nt
"Oh , the quotations ! They are puz
zling when you're not used to thorn ; "
agrees the admiral.
"I never shall be , " admlta Hnbs. "I
never could learn the multiplication
table. When people say eight times
nine's flfty-fiee , how can you toll If
It's twue ? "
The admiral ponders the Indictment
before he answers. "Your Illustra
tion certainly does place arithmetic In
a new light. All the same , business
would bo rather dull on the stock ex
change without It. Eh , Mr. Hands ? "
Babs throws a glance over her
shoulder nt the stock broker. "If
flngs go up free points' how much
would I make on a fousnnd ? " she
The question took him by surprise.
Ho had been regarding the earl's small
daughter with great Interest , but hard
ly as a potential dealer.
"It depends , Lady Barbara , " ho
smiles. "Depends whether It's stocker
or shares. "
"I was flnkln' of Mexicans second
irefs , " observes Baba , sagely.
It Is as much as Mr. Hands can
lo to answer. "A rise of three points
on a thousand Mexicans means 30
profit , " ho stammers.
"Fanks , " says Babs , and becomes
mmorsed in the tape once more. "
People who meet Babs for the flrst
Imo are usually bewildered by her
jaby-llko perspicuity , and the stock
irokor Is no exception to the rule.
The admiral evades his glances of
stupefaction by addressing Babs.
"What Is the trouble , little lady ? "
10 asks , leaning over her chair.
"Noflln" ; I'm waver busy , " she an
swers without moving her eyes from
The admiral dutifully moves away
and rejoins the earl and Mrs. Fane ,
who are now In consultation with Mr.
Hands. Mrs. Fane has certain In
vestments to make , and the earl , her
The Men Come and Stand Over Her ,
Watching the Ribbon.
trustee , has accompanied her Into the
city. For reasons not yet apparent ,
Babs has Insisted on being of the
party , and persuaded the admiral to
make It a partle carree.
While the tape machine ticks and
Jerks under the regard of her big blue
eyeSj the others go into the merits of
Japanese fours , colonial government
securities and English rails , and in
duo course Mrs. Fane's business Is
"We may as well have a flutter , now
we're here , " suggests the earl to his
The admiral concurs with a nod.
"What would you advise ? " he asks the
"Grand Trunks and Hudson Bays
are looking up , " answers Mr. Hands
"You'd much better stand In wlv
me , " murmurs Babs from the other
end of the room.
Mr. Hands sits up with a start , then
turns an inquiring face to his clients.
"What Is it , Babs ? " asks the ad
miral. "I didn't know you were an
authority on stock exchange transac
"I'm perfectly serious , " insists Babs.
"If you want to earn your winter's
corn , buy Mexican second prefs. "
Mr. Hands , through his pince-nez ,
eyes her in a fascinated way , but feels
compelled to dissent. "The very last
thing to touch. No dividend expect
ed , you know , " ho observes In an un
dertone to the earl.
"I know It's not expected , " returns
Babs , whoso sharp ears have caught
the words. "But there's goln * to be a
dividend , all vo same. It's a stable
"My dear child ! " reproves Mrs.
Fane , fearful of the stock broker tak
ing offense. "How can you know any
thing about It ? "
"Oh , I've known It for a couple of
fortnights. I had it stwalt from the
Beltsteins , "
"Belffltelns ? " repeats Mrs. Fane. "I
Wolf Creek valley may take It Into
their heads to pay us their respects. "
"Then there Is a social set In Wolf
Creek valley ? "
"I suppose so , " ho replied. "Most of
our neighbors , I find , are Klowas , who
took allotments In the valley. I think
Lame Dog , the Klowa , might be considered
* * *
sidered as the leader of the fashion . - > tr'
able Bet. Ho is very dissipated , drinks
and gambles and has three wives.
Lame Dog usually makes his calls un
der cover of darkness , Invariably car
rying away with him unknown to his I' * 'v i " *
host some little souvenir of the visit ,
such ns a pony or other detached prop
erty. But the three Mrs. Lame Dog ,
we may expect , will use more formali
ty in their calls , and I should not bo
surprised to see them drop In any
I was half persuaded that Frank was
only Joking , but nevertheless I was
quite sure that he was In earnest when
he continued :
"If they should happen to arop In
you will be expected to offer them
something to cat. An Indian always
expects this. It will do no harm to
keep on friendly terms with them. "
But despite Frank's admonition , I
think I should have shut the door on
the visitors when they came for they
did como some three days later had
It not been for the sympathy I had for
the little copper-colored papooses
strapped on boards , and the tact that
some of Frank's friends on the range
had brought us nearly a whole quarter
of beef , which equipped me to meet
the demands of the occasion.
I was preparing dinner and Frank
was sitting by the window cleaning
his rifle when , happening to step to
the door , I was surprised to see three
Klowa squaws standing before me. " ' * , '
They were very wretched and dirty ,
but perfectly healthy specimens of hu
manity. Each was wrapped In a blan
ket and carried on her back some
thing that resembled a snowshoe , to
which was bound with buckskin
thongs a little brown papoose.
The visitors greeted mo In broken
English , and Insisted on shaking hands
with me. Then , without more ado ,
they entered the shanty and began In
specting the furniture and draperies
with chlld-llko simplicity.
The Instinct of barter is strong In
the Indian , and they began to banter
mo to trade. Ono offered me her
blanket for the drapery In the corner ,
and another a pair of moccasins for
the covering on the couch. They
were all three talking at once , gestic
ulating at this and that article of
furniture , each trying as well as her
limited vocabulary would' permit to
strike a bargain with me , so that In
my bewilderment I felt ns If I had
suddenly been called to preside over a
Frank looked on the scene with
evident amusement. I was helpless
and knew not what to say or do. All
the time I was planning in my mind
how to get rid of the disagreeable vis
itors. I think Frank divined what
was In my mind , for presently he sug
gested that the quickest and surest
solution was to serve the visitors with
refreshments , and I was glad enough
to act on the suggestion.
When the meal was finished they
sat down In the middleof the floor
nnd began to Jabber to one another
In their own language. Presently
they spied the piano which was open ,
and It was evident that the sight of It
aroused their curiosity to the highest
pitch. They gathered about the In
strument , talking volubly and touching
It with their hands as If It had been
some sort of an animal which they ex
pected to move at their touch.
"Heap teeth ! " cried one , waving her
hand In the direction of the keyboard ,
"Oh ! Mnh-chee-loo-thee ! "
I was quite smo they had never
seen a piano before , for when one of
them happened to touch one of the
keys , the sound produced caused her
to jerk her hand away and step back
In momentary terror.
At this Juncture Frank suggested
that I play for my visitors , and moved
by a sudden impulse , I sat down on
the stool and struck the keys. The
effect on the visitors was startling.
They retreated quickly to the far end
of the room , Jabbering Incessantly and
pointing to the Instrument. Turning
my gnzo from them I went on playing ,
selecting a piece from Wagner sup
posing that it would likely prove as
pleasing to the uncultivated ear of the
three Klowas as anything else.
I must have presented a strange
oven a terrifying aspect for as the
notes died away , I turned to find that
the visitors had disappeared and
Frank was laughing , ' < V
I went to the door to see the three
squaws beating a retreat fiom the
house. At sight of me In the door
way they uttered excited ejaculations , , u
muttering : "Heap crazy ! "
I never saw the three Mrs. Lame
Dog again , nor was I bothered by any T4i
more visitors from the tribe , but I :
learned afterwards that I was known
as the "Mad White Squaw , who made
the big box howP like the hungry 'fj
coyotes , " which Frank declared was
a very fitting tribute to my art as a
musician. But for all his badinage , I
am sure that ho was glad I brought my . , }
piano to the claim , for he remarked
that It not only served to make me
more contented , but opened up for
the Instrument a wider Held of use
fulness , not the least of which was
Its use as an extinguisher of unwel
Pearl Let mo see. I wonder what
It was that Pandora had In that won
derful box ?
Ruby Oh , I guess It was a new au
tumn hat. Chicago Dally News.
As the World Wags.
As our Inclinations , so our opinions-
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