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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (May 15, 1908)
1 THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , MAY 15 , 1908 , ' & By S. E , Klaor "I Intend to-day , " said Wntklns Fur bish , "to bo n philosopher. I am goIng - Ing to bo optimistic , no matter what befnlls. It Is my firm belief that unhappiness - happiness Is nothing but n mental state. If I can make up my mind to bo happy I am sure that I can be. I will , therefore , disregard the things that are ordinarily vexatious. I will start out this morning to look for the pleasant things In life , and bo blind to all that are disagreeable. " He attempted to draw on his trous ers and while hopping around on ono foot stepped upon a tack which wont Into his heel as far as it could and then stopped. Walking Furbish sat down on the bed , pulled out Uio tack , drew a long breath , and manfully con- tr&lled his feelings. "Why , " ho asked himself , holding up the tack , "should I permit a llttlo thing llko Ibis lo make mo unhappy ? If I wore lo give way lo anger now I should Injure myself and Inflict no damage whatever upon this tack. When a man becomes angry he pois ons himself. Anger brings on Indi gestion. It opens the pores or closes them , I forget which thus Interfer ing with the circulation and causing physical as well as mental depression. And , after all , how foolish It Is to give way to anger. The angry man is al ways at a disadvantage. Already I begin to appreciate the benefits of philosophy. Confound that heel , I wish it would quit bleeding ! Ah , lltllo tack , a poet might apostrophize thee. That's pretty fair. I never would have thought of that word apostrophize If I had permitted myself to become an gry. Other words would flavo crowd ed In upon me and I should have glvn utterance to phrases that possessed no submillty , no beauty , no rhythmic cadences that might have soothed or comforted. Even now I find myself thinking In poetry. ' "Oh , llttlo tack , so sharp and keen , A lesson thou hivst taught to me ; llo\v strong they * are and hqw serene Who quarrel not with dustlny. * f "Oh , voiceless llttlo tacit , thou host No soul , no sinew and no joint , Vet most men by thee are surprised. You set so quickly to the point. "That , " mused Wntklns Furbish , "Isn't half bad for an amateur. There's a lot of philosophy In those few lines , too. I suppose almoflt any man could bo a philosopher If ho would only set himself to it. It's a matter of habit , that's all. Socrates probably could have been just as Impatient as any of the rest of us If he hadn't acquired the habit of being philosophical. It's a great thing. I wonder why I never thought of It before ? " He sat for a. moment or two think ing It over and then remembering that it would be necessary to get ready for the duties of the day ho tossed the tack from him and slipped a log into the other section of his trousers. Then ho fished a shoe out from under the bed , and , having put It on , looked for its mate. It was at the other side of the room , near the closet door. Still feeling that it was splendid to bo a philosopher , Mr. Furbish started across the carpeted floor. Ho paused i after he had taken a step or two and j - * * said to himself : "Yesterday I would have complained because this shoo waa tight across the toe. To-day It gives me no concern. I am able to bear It with oqulnlmlty. And aside from the physical Incon venience that comes from permitting llttlo things to fret us wo who are able to control ourselves are heirs tea a feeling of prldo that In Itself lo up lifting and Inspiring. " Then ho took another step forward , uttered a wild yell and sat down with a suddenness that caused his wife , who was below getting breakfast , to fear that the house had boon struck by a meteorite. "Watklns , " she cried rushing to htm where he writhed upon the door , "what In the world Is the matter ? " Wntklns told her. Dut his worda vero disconnected and unfit for pub lication. He had stepped on the Lack again and not with the foot that was In the shoe. Chicago Record-Herald. Remarkable Burglar-Proof Safe. The most remarkable burglar-proof safe In the world baa just boon placed in a bank at Kewburg Island. At night the cafe is lowered by cables into an impregnable motalHo-llnod sub-vault of masonry and concrete. After reaching the bottom It Is fastened down by masslvo stool luga , operated by a triple time lock. Until those logs are released automatically at a desired tlmo , no human agency can raise the" Eafo , and to break in through a maia of stone and concrete which measures 10 feet by 10 foot by 10 feet vita dynamite- would wreck the bulldinf without making the eafo available. WOULD TRY IT ON THE CAT. Irishman Had Cheaper Form of Analy sis In His Mind. Export testimony mny bo valuable from a scientific point of vlow , but there are often cheaper ways of es tablishing a certainty , ns the hero of the following anecdote decided nt the last moment. An Irish laborer en tered ix drug store , and drawing a paper bag from his pocket , poured on the counter a number of very sticky and unattractive looking lozenges. "Can ye examine this candy ? " ho asked. "It looks qudor. What Is the mat ter with It ? " asked the druggist "Plzen , Ol'm thlnkln' . Did yo Ivor see such stuff ? Dlnnls Daly give them to me b'y , and Dlunls Is no frlnd of mine. " "Well , I can make an analysis. " "All right. Ol'll come In to-morrow on me way from worruk. " The Irishman had reached the door , but he suddenly stopped with his hand on the latch. "And how much will thot 'nalysls be costing me ? " ho Inquired. "Five dollars , " was the answer. The man walked over to the coun ter and swept the lozenges Into the bag , which ho replaced In his pocket. "Nlver molnd , " ho said. "Ol'll feed wan to the cat. " FABLE BROUGHT UP TO DATE. A Little Allowance for the Imagination Requisite Here. Once upon a Time a Bravo Youth risked his Llfo In saving a Deuutiful Girl from a Watery Grave at a Fash ionable Seaside Resort. The Grateful Father seized the Res cuer of his Daughter by the Hand , and In a Voice slopping over with Emo tion , spake thusly : "Noble Youth , to You I am Indebted for everything that makes Llfo Worth While. Which Re ward will you Take Two * * Hundred Thousand Plunks or the Hand of My Child ? " "It's Me to the Digit of the Rescued Maid , " answered the Bravo Youth , who Figured on Copping both the Beauty and the Coin. "Young Man , you have Chosen Wise ly , " replied the Grateful Parent , "for I couldn't have given you the Two Hundred Thousand Plunks at the Present Writing , as I am only a Poor Village Editor and haven't begun to Save It up yet , but my Offspring Is Yours for Life , Bless you , my Chil dren. " Moral Fiction Is Stranger than Truth. Otherwise a Poor Village Ed itor would not have been doing a Stunt at a Fashionable Seaside Re sort. Chicago Dally News. She Saw Her. "Tho late Clara Bloodgood , " ald a theatrical manager of Chicago , "was witty as she was talented and beau tiful. Sdmetlmes , Indeed , her keen wit carried her rather far. "I remember once , at a tea at the Auditorium , a remark that the bril liant actress made to a society woman. " 'You were at Bar Harbor , I'be lieve , In the summer ? ' said the BO- clety woman. " 'Yes , ' sftld the actress. " 'And did you see much of my daughter there ? ' " 'Rather , ' was the answer. 'She wore a bathing suit In the morning , riding bloomers In the afternoon and low neck at night. " Don't Be Left Handed. It has been estimated that about ono boy out of 15 Is left-handed when ho reaches the age of ten. This Is his mother's fault In not making him use his right hand more during his baby hood. In Germany there are schools where the boy Is taught to bo right- handed. Nearly all tools are made for right-handed men , and the boy who grows up left-handed will bo awk ward. If ono can use both hands alike he has an advantage In some things ; but it 'seems aa if nature Intended the right arm to do most of the work. Grain as a Weight. The name "grain" as a weight orig inated in a curious way. The old Eng lish pound was equivalent to "tho weight of 7,680 grains of wheat , taken from the middle of the ear. " This gives 480 to each of the 16 ounces of which the pound was composed. Al though the standard la now entirely different , the fact that there are still 480 grains to the ounce Troy and the ounce apothecaries' weight carries us back to the tlmo of the Conquest , and shows us how the name grain orig inated. Stilt Skating. 'They skate on stilts in Sweden , " said a traveler. "It is an odd and pretty sight to BOO. Hero a girl skims along , elevated two feet above the loo. There goea an expert upon stilts five feet high. "Stilt ekatlng is very , very difficult. Nevertheless , the Swedes do the outer and inner edge , cut rings backward , even make the grapevine. "But when they fall ! A fall from five-foot stilts often makes a bolo In the ico. " Knew How to Treat a Lady. The woman had been accused of murder , the evidence sustaining the charge , but the jury brought in a verdict of "not guilty. " "How did you roach such a mon strous conclusion ? " oskcta the judge , severely. "Your honor , " returned the fore man , "do we look like 12 Jays that don't know how to treat a lady ? " National Prosperity Association , A business organization lias been formed in St. Louis called "The National Prosperity Asso ciation , " having for its object the encouragement of a return of prosperity. The following is a statement in part made by B.C. Simmons , chairman of the execu. live committee , which we deem worthy of publication : We have formed a business organization to be called The National Prosperity Association of St. Louis having for its ob ject the encouragement of a re. turn of prosperity sooner than might otherwise return without help , or without some active efforts on the part of the busi ness men , We believe that pres ent conditions are exceedingly favorable to this. The body commercial has been very ill. and in a sense luls had the typh oid fever , but now the fever has entirely left ; the disease is out , and the patient only remains siclc and weak , so that perma nent recovery is only a matter of time. IIow to quicken thai recovery in a healthy manner , is the problem we are undertaking , and we believe in the power of encouragement by showing to the world at large that condi tions are fundamenally sound and healthy , and that nothing now exists but a lack of confi dence to restore us to a full measure of prosperity , such as existed a year ago. We are making an effort through the press and through other business associations , and through the traveling salesmen , to encourage the people to see the sunshine that is clearly in the pathway , and to believe that things are very much better than mostpeo- pie think they are , and that with the present crop prospects soon to be realized ii nothing unfor- seen occurs in the immediate future it is only a question ot a very short time when the dinner - ner pails will again be full , and the unemployed will again be employed at fair wages , and that there will be no reduction in wages of those already em ployed. We believe there is a great change ot sentiment with the intelligent people of the United States , and that it is increasing very rapidly , it therefore , seems to us a most propitious time to do what we can to encourage a quick return of prosperity , to the great bene fit of the laboring man , and to the benefit ot all business inter , ests. ests.With With the full co-operation of the press of the United States which we hope to have and with the united efforts of the business associations of all the large cities , we feel confident of our ability to accelerate the speed of returning prosperity tea a great degree. It is hardly necessary to say that everybody would like to have wages main tained at the highest figure and wi thout a cut. There is no doubt as to the wisdom of this course. We are most heartily in favor of it , and are working to that end giving our time and our money to accentuate better con ditions and returning prosperity. We hope and expect to have the co-operation of manufacturers , merchants , bankers , railroads and the labor element. Fundamentally , everything is all right the basis of our pros perity comes irom the soil , and the products of the soil never had greater value than at pres- ent. The outlook lor crops is marvelously promising. To illus trate ; The Winter Wheat crop , which is the first one ot import ance that comes to our notice , is better than ever before in the history of this country. Kansas reports a condition of 105 on Winter Wheat something here tofore unknown. When the lura. ber interests shut down and the railroads laid off a lot ot their employes , a large proportion of them went immediately to the farmers or planters , so that these tillers of the soil have , for the first time in many years , had enough labor to put in a full or large crop , perhaps a larger crop than ever before , and the planting is still going on. With a larger planting than has ever gone into the ground , and with favorable weather , it seems reasonable to suppose that we may have most excellent crops this year it-looks exceed ingly probable. Thereforeevery thing which is the base of our prosperity is right all that is necessary now is to restore con fidence so that the wheels of commerce begin to move again with the same rapidity that they did a year or two ago , when we were at the height of our pros perity , and from which we went , in a wonderfully short time , tea a very low stage oi depression and hard times. Asking the co-operation of everybody in the United States in this movement which we think has great merit , and which has great possibilities and in the hopes of receiving most cor dial co-operation , we are , with great earnestness , THE NATIONAL PROSPERITY ASSOCIATION BY E. 0. SIMMONS , Chairman of the Executive Com. LAUGHTER NOT ALWAYS GOOD. Evidences of Merriment Sometimes by No Means Satisfying. "Of course , you have heard , " said the man with a sensitive ear , "a laugh that Jarred. I don't mean , " ho con tinued , "so much n laugh at an Inop portune time I Imagine wo have all heard such laughs as a laugh the quality of which Is unpleasant. There Is something contusions In laughter of the right kind , even though you may bo the object of It. It bubbles from the well of good humor ; there lone no hidden thought , or 'arrlero penseo,1 as the French say , behind It. It Is the essence of frankness ; It is spontane ous and wholcsoulcd , and It cleanses the system of the laughter , and , too , ot the hearer , llko a spiritual bath. "But there are other kinds of laugh ter. The sneering laugh is perhaps the most familiar. Then there is a quiet laugh a sibilant secretive eort of laugh that is quite as certain to mean mischief. Another laugh , dis agreeable in its nature , is the high- pitched , nervous cachtnution that comes either from embarrassment or Is a mere vocal habit. The worst laugh of all , however , to my mind , la that mirthless sound provoked by the distress or embarrassment ot others , and It rasps , naturally , most of all , the object calling It forth. A person laughed at and hurt never forgets the experience. " GIGANTIC IN SIZE AND WEIGHT. Biggest Man That Ever Lived Claimed by North Carolina. "I'll bet none of you folks know that the largest man that ever lived was born and raised in North Carolina , " said a Tar Heel. "His existence and dimensions are vouched for in the American encyclopedia. "His name was Miles Dnrdcn. Ho was seven feet six Inches high , and In 1845 weighed 871 pounds. Ho was born In North Carolina In 1798 and died in Tennessee January 23 , 1857. Until 1853 bo was able to go about his work in an active manner , but his weight increased so fast that after Uiat year when ho wanted to move about ho had to bo hauled In a two- horao wagon. In 1839 it is chronicled that his coat was buttoned around three men , each weighing more than 200 pounds , who walked together In it down the streets in Lexington , N. 0. At his death he Is said to have weighed not less than 1,000 pounds. His coffin was 8 foot long , 35 Inches deep , 32 Inches across the breast , 18 across the head and 14 across the foot These measurements were taken at the time and are matters ot historical record. " More Than He Wanted. "Sometimes ladles thank mo when I glvo up my seat to thorn , " the young man said , "and sometimes they do not , and then occasionally something unusual happens. This morning when I gavo.up my seat to a lady she thanked mo effusively. " Thank you very much , ' she said ; 'very acceptable , 1 asanro you. ' Thla speech attracted the attention of all around , and really I think I would prefer not to bo thanked at all rather than to be thanked so generously. "If It would bo polite for mo to tn- dlcato just how I'd llko to bo thanked for giving up my seat 1 should eay that just a llttlo smile with a slight Inclination of the head , would bo tho. acknowledgment that would please mo ' boat of all. " Greek Gives Fortune to Public. A rcmarkablo case of patriotic pub lic spirit Is recorded at Athena , ' Greece , where a wealthy Greek named Sevastopulos has loft a largo fortune of $1,000,000 for various public ob jects. Quo hundred thousand dollars Is left for the Greek Royal Agricul tural society , { 60,000 for founding a technical school for work people , and fSOO.OOO for various philanthropic In stitutions In Athens and Constant- nnula. I THE FIRST LESSON * . A innil is given to learn when ho enrolls In the school which qualifies for success is to put by | > art of his salary or Income rcgu- larly , The truest friend In time of adversity is the bank account , and the surest foundation upon which to build u fortune h the ncciimu- < latcd savings of months and years , The habit of putting money o i away Is rcllex hi Its action The money in Itself Is a valuable nc- * i ccssory , and the quality of miiiil and character developed through this habit makes for ultimate success , * 4)1 ) I t FARMERS STATE BANK SS , .SEASONABLE GOODS | . . . Here are a few things in our line that we feel sure woukl interest you at this season of the year. The MOTOR WASHER , a Monday morn- ihg necessity that you cannot afford to be without. Then we have the JEWEL GASOLINE - OLINE STOVE , the ALASKA REFRIGATOR , the house wife's friends this hot weather. Lowe Bros' . , PAINT will interest you , both in quality and price. CALL AND LOOK THROUG OUR LINE J. C. TANNER Ours Arc "Dependable" Goods FALLS CITY , NEB. SPECIAL SALE French China Dinnerware , Haviland & Go's. Ranson pattern , in a pink rose decoration with delicate green leaves. We carry this pattern in stock and can sell you any piece you may break. An extra large salad bowl to match , FREE with each 100 piece set , $40 per set. : - : Three patterns of Avenir Limoge French China in P'nk spray , rose bud and violet spray decorations. Special price $27.50 for 100 piece set. The seta will be displayed in our south window. See them. Chas. M. Wilson's 5 The Falls City Roller Mills t * Does a. general milling business , and manufactures the following brands of flour SUNFLOWER MAGNOLIA CROWN The above brands arc gunrantccd to be of the highest pos sible quality. We also manufacture all mill products and conduct a general C Grain , Live Stock and Coal Business C c and solicit a share of your patronage n P. S. Heacock & Son Falls City , Nebr.n c ( ? Did YOV See ? Those Fine Buggies and Surries we just received a car load of Moon Bros. , Surries , Buggies and Spring Wagons The only place to buy and to see the most up-to- date Vehicles is at Werner Mosiman & Co. , and the way they go out is a proof they are The Best Money Can Buy We also have a complete line of Farm Impliments just fresh and up-to-date. Our prices are in reach of every one , call and see us before you buy. We lead them all. * Remember , we carry everything in the Implement line , such as Gas Engines , Wind Mills , Pumps , Tanks , Pipe and Fittings. Also are agents for the Pure Soft Cable Lightning Rod and just the thing you need to Protect your House and Barn. Get our price and be protected from Lightning. Call and see us we can save you money. Yours truly , Werner , Mosiman AND COMPANY