THE FALLS CITV TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , FEBRUARY 7 , 1908.
The First and Last
care of a person should be their teeth.
Not only their health but their beauty de
pends on it. Let us care for your child
ren's teeth and tench them how to care
for them , and when your teeth have been
neglected and are decayed and unsightly ,
let us make them look as natural us in
their pristine beauty by crown and bridge
work
J. C. YUTZY
Falls City , Nebraska
r
LIQUOR EMPORIUM
All Popular Brands of Wet Goods
with an experienced mixer at your
service. Foreign and Domestic Cigars.
L. E. LEED , PROPRIETOR
FALLS CITY a-s msNEBRASKA
HECK'S FEED STORED
W When in need of Coal or Wood and you have no C
time to'call and see me , ring up phone 101 and let me
tell you what I have , let me try and please you.
O Try my Illinois Nut coal and make your wife happy - O
py-
pyI
I give you a sack of salt with every sack of Flour ,
O give me your next order. I have plenty of Oil Meal , A
Meat Meal , Poultry Shells , Rock Salt , Michigan
barrel salt , bailed hay and straw , corn and oats. I
will buy your hides , pop corn , poultry , butter and
D eggs. Come and see me. Oi P. HECK- L
! FALLS CITY , NEBRASKA
Fistula CURED Fissure , WITHOUT lilrodine. Itching , KNIFE Ulcorutiim , NO MONEY
Pile Constipation mid nil Hoctnl Ii-canon n Speeiiilty.
THE GERMAN SPECIALISTS 'Tl |
B22 Hrcvuhwiy Council Hrutttr. lown 11JL/
i
'
SPECIALS
WINTER TOURS
To the South and Gulf re
sorts until April
HOMESEEKERS' RATES
ist and 3d Tuesday to
Colorado , Big Horn Basin ,
Montana and Northwest.
ONE WAY COLONIST
March and April , to Mon
tana , Washington , Oregon ,
California and Utah.
TO FARM RENTERS
Write D. Clem Deaver ,
Landseekers' Information
Bureau , Omaha , for list of
farms to rent in Big Horn
Basin. Do it now ; they
are going fast.
E. G. WHITFORD ,
Local Ticket Aaent.
L. W. WAKCLCY , G. P. A. ,
Omaha , Neb.
For Backache ,
Rheumatism
and tins Kid-
neysandBladder
fllstake Corrected
Correct the- mistake of risking pneu
monia by neglecting u cough or cold
when Foley's Honey and Tur will not
only stop your cougn but expel the
eold from your system. Foloy's Honey
and Tur contains no opiates and is the
best and Palest throat and lung re.nedy.
Kerr'e Pharmacy.
RUPTURECURED
IN ONE TREATMENT
by thn Intost mid most scientific methods known.
No injections of poihoni no JOSH of time ; no hos
pital ; no pain ; no knife ; no truss. Thousand *
cured.
Our patients nfter tnkiiiK trnntinont , Imvo PUC-
WMfiilly niiKM-d tin ! mint i-evein and mini ; tostc.
CUMHTO US AND Hi ; A MAN AGAIN.
Call ( or coiiftiltntion , or write for booklet.
THE GERMAN SPECIALISTS
' \l'i liroailway Council lilulls , In.
Pinesnlvo Cdrbollzoil nets lllfj
poultice , druwb out inflammation and
poison. Antisceptle. healing. For
chapped hands , lips , outs , burns. Sold
by A. G. Wanner , dru < 'silst.
IF HOT-WHY NOT GET CURED
NOW ?
Average Time to Cure
RUPTURE Oxi : VISIT
HYDROCELE ONK VISIT
VARICOCELE ONI : VISIT
CATARACTS ! 1 to 10 Dny
IMPOTENCV 5 to HO Days
STRICTURE 5 to . ' 10 Days
GLEET 5 to HO Days
CANCER. . : StoMDayB
CATARRH 10 to 30 Days
GOITER GO to JO D.iys
Piles , Fistula 3 to 5 Days
Losses , Drains , etc f to 30 Duys
Liquor Habit 10 to 30 Days
Prostatlc Troubles 10 to 30 Days
Rheumatism , Gout..10 to 30 Days
Nervous Denillty . . . -.10 to 30 Days
Stomach Diseases 20 to 00 Duys
Kidney Diseases 20 to 00 Days
Bladder Diseases 20 to CO Days
Blood PoUon , etc CO to 'JO Duje
Wo advertise what wo do , und do .
what we advertise. No Incurables
taken.
NO KNIFE BLOOD OR PAIN
Examinations Free to all who
write for appointment card now.
The German Specialists
Second Floor
522 Broadway Council BluiTe , la
Cougli Caution
Xovor. positively never poison yourlunors. If you
couuh even from a glmplo cola only you should
Bhvoyglienl , soothe , nnacaiothe irrltatud bron
chial tubes. Don't blindly suppress it with a
itupofyinu poison. It t strange how ynrnn things
finally come nbout. For twenty rears Dr. Sheep
Ims constantly warned pooplonotto take cough
mixtures or prcecriptiona containing Opium ,
Chloroform , or similar poisons. And now n IHtla
late Uiouch Conwfi&s tuyj "Put It on the label ,
it poUons are in your Cough Mixture. " Good I
YerygoodllllorcaitcrforthUvcryreasonrnnthers ,
nnd others , should iniist on hating Dr. Sheep i
Couch Cure. No poUon marks on Dr. Bhoop's
labels and none In the medicine , else it must by
law > > e on Ilia label. And It's not only safe , but it
is said to bo by tlioso that knowlt best , n truly re-
tnarlablo cough remedy. Tiiko nochanco then ,
particularly with your children. Insist on having
Dr. Bhoop'g Cough Cure. Compare carefully the
Dr. Sheep rnckuRu with others and note the
difference. No i > oUon marks there I You can
bo on the safe tide by demanding
Dr. Shoop's
Cough Cure
( ALL DEALERS )
FATHER OF YANKEES
PHRASE THAT FITLY DESCRIBES
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
Difficult to Shape a Sentence That
Would Characterize Him More Per
fectly Than Remark Made by
Thomas Carlyle.
It would be dllllcult to shape n sen
tence which would characterize Frank
lin more perfectly than the remark
Hindu by Thomas Cnrlylu when , look
ing upon a portrait of Franklin , ho
said : "Thcru la the father of all the
Yankees. " If wo use the word Yankee
to cover and surest everything that
Is practical , useful , Ingenious , re
sourceful , sagacious and wise , with
the one exception that the character
having these traits will never quite
attain to the highest nnd best , the
word fairly describes Benjamin Frank
lin. Ho was a compendium of all the
defects , faults , abilities and successes
of the people of whom ho was the
most conspicuous , famous and success
ful representative at homo and
abroad. Shakespeare might Imvo
found in him a modal of at least 20
different characters , each one excel
lent of Its kind or most characteristic
of the class to which the typo bo-
longed. Ho could not have taken liim
as his model for ono who should set
forth In his own person the highest at
tainments of human nature with a rec
ord unblemished by injurious excess
or conspicuous defeat. Ho was a man
of the earth earthy ; ono who warmed
both hands at the flro of llfo and enjoyed -
joyed through nil his physical senses
whatever llfo had to give. Ho hold
that pleasure greatly predominated In
the lives of man and proved It In his
own case by his hearty enjoyment of
whatever was cheerful or capable of
giving pleasure.
Beginning , ns ho did , an untaught
boy , rude In manners nnd unac
quainted with these who had practiced
the arts of the gentle llfo , but with an
eager appetite for learning , with un
bounded ambition and deslro to make
a place for himself in the world , It was
Inevitable that his first adventures
should be a mixture of good nnd ill
fortune , of steady Improvement
checked at times by wayward lapses
Into Indulgences which , because of his
better training , his co-patriot Wash
ington escaped. Above this earthly
nature which was the wide nnd strong
foundation of his character , was an In
tellect second to none in his time on
the level over which It ranged. That
It never escaped Into the realm of
spiritual life , whore prophetic nouls
arc found , Is evident In his works and
sayings. His was a great , practical
intellect , dealing nt times , Indeed ,
with religion nnd the highest Interests
of the soul , but always In a somewhat
prosaic nnd practical way. lie owned
nnd deeply regretted the errors of his
early days , but at his host ho could
never have been described as a saint ;
and , yet from the beginning to the
end ho would not bo properly described
at any time ns a vicious person. His
temptations and his lapses came in
the ordinary course of his llfo , because
ho eagerly craved the society of his
fellow-creatures. Christian Register.
Diamond Salesman's Secrets.
"There Is no line in which more care
must be exercised than In selling diamonds
mends , " remarked ono of the oldest
dealers in Cleveland. "For Instance ,
we don't dare show a man a largc >
stone than he can afford to buy.
"Even n diamond n carat or n carat
and a half In size looks like n mighty
small affair to pay so much money for ,
and if n man comes in expecting to
pay $75 for a diamond he may got dis
gusted and not buy at all If the Bales-
man shows him something n little
larger for $200. The salesman , if ho
knows his business , will find to a cer
tainty just how much a customer Is
willing to pay before ho shows him
anything.
"Then it's better not to show a
colored stone , such as a ruby or an
emerald or a bluish diamond In con
nection with other diamonds. If you
show some customers a colored stone
and then put It away and show him a
good white diamond he will declare
that the diamond is off color. It does
not seem to bo a whim so much as the
effect on the eyes of the colors In the
stones. "
Saved His Precious Relics.
The third floor of "The Orchard , "
Francis Wilson's place in New Ho-
chello , is fitted out as a miniature
J3
theater , and there the actor has a
wonderful collection of paintings ! ,
books , old play bills and theatrical 1 j
relics gathered In the last score of
years. It Is his favorite lounging *
?
place when at homo. On a recent
Saturday night tire broke out in the
.
cottage next door. Wilson and several I
guests were In his den. A score of as
sistants , hurriedly summoned , suc
ceeded In stripping the den of every
thing of value before It became ap
parent that his cottage was In no
danger. The lower rooms had been
utterly negloeted , not nn article being
touched , the nctor prizing his relics
above nil else.
Keeps Them Awake.
"Yes , " said the man who sometimes
lets out an audible thought , "they are
the biggest fakers on earth. "
"Who ? " queried the party with the
rubber habit.
"Tho astronomers , " answered the
party of the prelude.
"How do you figure that out ? "
asked the rubbering chap.
"Why , they sit up nights trying to
con the universe , " explained the noisy
thinker.
MISCELLANY NO , 3 2216
UNCLE SAM'S WORST SENTENCE.
"Dismissal with Ignominy1' Moans the
Most Absolute Disgrace.
The severest sentence which the
United States government can Inlllct
Is undoubtedly "dismissal with Igno
miny , " which Is meted out to ofllcord
of the army and navy who nro guilty
of grent offenses.
U Is the nearest thing to ostracism
that can bo reached In the modern
state. When the contonco "dismissal
with Ignominy" Is passed upon nn of-
llccr It means that his brother oIllcorB
may never spenk to him ngnln ( lining
his llfo. If this , olllcer has n rolntlvo
In the service , no mutter how close
the connection may bo , there must
never again bo communication be
tween the two. *
If It Is a young man who Is thus
dismissed nnd ho has n father In the
army or navy , they are cut off for
ever unless the father should choose
to quit the nation's service also.
And when the sentence Is once
pnssed It Is unchangeable. A mnn
who simply violates the lawn of the
country oven to the point of trea
son has a chance for pardon , but once
ho receives the document hearing the
phrase "dismissal with Ignominy , " It
stands just as long as there Is breath In
his body.
Even if ho wishes to enlist In the
service as ono of the men In the
ranks this would not bo Mowed. When
caught ho would bo punished for
"fraudulent enlistment. "
In the old days the greatest punish
ment was to cnshlor nn olllcer. Then
he would bo taken out before an as
sembled body of troops or sailors and
his Insignia of rank would bo taken
nnd his sword broken. Now this 1ms
given way to a more complete method
of exposing his shame. When an of
ficer Is "dismissed with Ignominy" It
In ordered by the president that no
tice shall be sent to all members of
the service and the crime and the
punishment Is published In the news
papers not only mound the hendqunr-
jtois ' where ho was last on duty , but
also In the state from which ho comes .
or In which he usually makes his
homo.
A Technical Explanation.
It Is said that unless ono can Impart
information ono docs not really pos
sess It. The late Prof. Angelo Hcllprin
used to tell a story , says the Washing
ton Star , illustrative of this point. The
professor himself had a most learned
nnd lucid mind. Not only could ho
mnster a question ; ho could lay it so
clearly before you that you became
master of It , too.
Two commercial travelers on the
way from Heading to Philadelphia
once got Into nn argument over the
action of the vacuum brake.
"It's the Inflation of the tube that
stops the train , " declared the first
traveler.
"Wrong , wrong ! " shouted the sec
ond. "It's the output of the exhaus
tion. "
So they wrangled for an hour. Then ,
when the train arrived In Philadelphia
they agreed to submit the matter for
settlement to the engineer. That gen
tleman , leaning condescendingly from
the window of his cab , listened with
an attentive frown to the two travel
ers' statement of their argument.
Then he smiled , shook his head nnd
said :
"Well , gents , yo'ro both wrong
about the workln' of the vacuum brake.
Yet it's very simple and easy to un
derstand. When wo want to stop the
train wo just turn this 'ere tap , nnd
then we fill the pipe with vacuum. "
Working the "Rope Trick. "
How the "wonder worker" of India
performs his "rope trick" Is told by a
correspondent who witnessed the feat
In a busy street of Surat In broad
daylight : "I was writing In a room
overlooking this thoroughfare , on the
first floor of the house , when my
friend called to me. Stepping on to '
the veranda I saw a small group of
people gathered round a man and n
boy. The man threw a long rope
straight up in the air and the boy then
climbed up the rope , the lower end of
which was hold by the man. Having
1reached the top of the rope , the boy
balanced himself , In various postures ,
on the point of the rope and then ills-
appeared from sight. Afterward ho ap-
pcared ngaln on the ground nnd ho
nnd the mnn quietly wnlkcd away.
The small group of people dispersed
nnd I went bnck to my writing. "
When Every Man Is Coy.
Feminine proposnls are nothing
now In leap year or otherwise. It Is
said on good authority that Eve sot
the example when she bulled Adam
with an apple or lemon , na certain
excellent authorities claim of lato. As
no man over told the truth about how
ho proposed , nnd still less about how
the demure damsels helped him to do
it , all this must remain in obscurity.
Every man some time in Ills life
has had a coy proposal. In this
every year seems to partake a trlflo
of leap year. Contralla ( Wash. )
Chronicle ,
.
Punctilious Etiquette.
He Did you have an Informal dis
cussion at your club , my dear ?
She ( primly ) Our discussions arc
never Informal. Wo take up no sub
ject which has not been properly In
troduced.
Not Diminishing.
"Mrs. Gadder has such a way of aV
tacking people without saying any
thing outright. "
"Yes , I was just a-sayln * the other
day lhat she always was ready with
a diminuendo against somebody. "
FOR PLATES AND SHEETS.
ALL TOO VIGOROUS
"LAMB" WAS AN EXCEPTION TO
GENERAL RULE.
Judge Pitman Found Out Its Characj
tcr In' a Short Time Book's De-
scrlptlon Not Correct In
This Case.
'
ludgu Pitman , a short time ngo ,
bought n pet lamb for his little chll-
tlnm to piny with , It wns n pretty
good-sized lamb , and strong and vig
orous ; but the judge said ho preferred
( lint kind , becnuso the children would
bo lohH likely to hurt it.
On thu day Hint It cnmo homo they
turned it out Into the front yard ,
where it strayed nbout nibbling the
grass , wlillo the Judge lied up his
geraniums.
Mrs. Pitman had the children In the |
house nnd she was rending to them
from a book a description of the char
acteristics of lambs. The account
said that "Tho lamb Is ono of the most
playful nnd Innocent of animals. So
kind and meek Is It that Its name hay
for centuries been the synonym of gen
tleness and sweetness of disposition.
It never Injures any ono , and when It
IB attacked It always suffers humbly
and in silence. There Is something so
beautiful about the gentle little nnlmnl
that "
Just at this point Mm. Pitman was
Interrupted by the voice of the judge
coming from the front yard. It
sounded as If ho were In distress of
some kind.
The whole family llow out upon the
porch , and there they saw that pot
lamb , whoso nnnio wns the synonym
of gentleness , engaged In hutting the
Judge. It would butt him In the rear
and knock him over , nnd then it would
butt him lu the legs , and batter him
on the ribs , and plunge Its head Into
his stomach , nnd jntn Its skull ngnlnst
his chest. When ho rose it butted his
shins , nnd when ho stooped over to
rub . them It butted his bend. Then It
butted him generally wherever a
chance presented itself ; nnd when It
hnd doubled the judge nil up under
the norwny maple , It butted down
three rose bushes , butted n plaster
garden vnso to fragments , butted two
pnllngs off of the fence , nnd danced
ofC down the street , butting nt the tree
boxes , the hitching posts and the
northwest wind.
Mr. Potter finally knocked It In the
head with a club and brought it homo
to the judge ; and subsequently , when
they had the hind leg for dinner , the
judge observed to Mrs. Pitman that
from the manner In which that lamb
cut he should bcliovo thai It was
born during the war of 1812 , and that
It was , In fact , a tcrrlllc old ram. Then
ho said ho should go down to sco the
man who sold It to him for n lamb
and bung him with a club.
The Pitman children will cling to
klltens ns rcguinr pels. Now York
Weekly.
Together In Death , as In Life.
Thirty years ago In nn Edinburgh
school there were three pupils who
woie so Intlmnlo nnd Inseparable
companions Hint they wore designated
Faith , Hope nnd Charity. After leav
ing school they continued as warmly1
attached ns over. Indeed , the con
stant appearance of the trio together
"nt kirk and market" became a stand
ing joke. By nnd by tlioy married
within short Intervals of each other.
They hnd cnch three children nnd the
families grow up together In close
friendship. Some three years ago ono
of the three died suddenly and short
ly afterward , with equal suddenness ,
another passed away. A few months
Inter the third died nftor two or three
days' Illness. Thus within one short
year , In the prime of life , the three ,
who on earth hnd been all but Insep
arable , passed uwny.
A Credit to Surgery.
The action of the surgeon of the
steamship Pannonln of the Cunard
line is a high credit to the heroism
nnd skill of surgery. In mid-ocean , In
a great storm , the motion of the ves
sel wna suspended to enable Dr. Fraser -
ser Orr to perform the operation for
appendicitis on a conl-pnsscr who wan
In danger of immediate death unless
it bo then performed. That wns sue-
cussfnlly done nnd Dr. Orr was as
sisted by Dr. Hendrik , who had over
sight of some of the steerage passen
gers on the vessel. The notion de
serves chronicling nnd will command
admiration wherever the history of
medicine nnd surgery shall bo held
In honor among men.
Beauties of Our Language.
Two members of the Pilnceton fa
culty , according to Harper's Weekly ,
during a recent hurried trip , were on
an electric car when it was stopped
by a blockade. As they were near
their destination , tlioy decided to get
out nnd walk. The block wns , how
ever , BOOH lifted , nnd the car overtook -
took thorn.
"When wo loft the car , " said ono of
them , who , by the way , has a little bit
of the Colt in him , "I thought wo
hhould got on bettor by gelling off.
Bui , aflor all , wo should have boon
boiler off if wo had stayed on. "
Honored Her Memory.
It wns simply a coincidence that
made the unveiling of thu monument
to Queen Victoria nt Keith , Scotland ,
take place on the same day as the pub
llcntlon of her flrat volume of letters ,
d Hosebcry , who made the address
the meeting , declared "not Uio
least of the services that she rendered
UP Is the effect of her training and
example on the present king. "
I LESSON COST HIM JUST $120.
Tale of Farmer Who Lost His Head
During Financial Flurry.
Illustrative of the wrinkles nnd
kinks developed during the financial
flurry n story IB told by a central
Iowa j , banker who was carrying a tlmo
deposit of f 1,000 for a farmer who
took t < alarm and demanded the money ,
although his dcpOHlt certificate did
nn
not require payment until January 1
next. Persuasion nnd argument prov
ing futile , the banker decided lo ap
pease his Iralo customer by paying
his subject , of course , to forfeiture
of the Interest , amounting to $80 , As
n Halve to bin Injured feelings 1m
handed out the money In inotal , an
ticipating that when the depositor
bn\v Its bulk he would relent But
the depositor wn determined , nnd
hliouldbrlng the hug of coin fltrodo
ncrosH the nlroot to tjio post otllco
and made a peremptory call for $1,000
In money orders. "I'll trust Undo
Sam , and nobody else , " ho declared.
Ho rocelvcd his eiders In duo tlmo , a
pocketful of thorn , paying $10 for
privilege of making the post olllco
his custodian of funds. His total cost
to protect himself , na he Imagined ,
was $120.
"Well , I can go homo now and
breathe easy , " he remarked , compla-
conlly , as ho tucked the orders
away.
"Yes , you've got n good debtor , "
assented the poHtmnstor , "but will
you do me n favor ? "
"Sure ! "
"Well , I've gel iheumnllsm In my
bnck nnd I've got to got thnt bng of
money over lo the bank to doposlj. It.
Just tote It over and I'll bo yours
truly. "
The reassured capitalist complied ,
but his subsequent conversation was
so sulphurous In nn earnest effort to
express his chagrin to HUO that Hie
money wont bnck to the bank from
which lie had drawn it thai Uio town
mnishnl experienced Uio necessity of
Inking him in hand. Ixis Angeles
Times.
Women Defied Church Rule.
Six splendidly clnd young women ,
not the lensl of Iholr grandeur being
represented by the latesl examples of
millinery art , swept Into the First
Presbyterian church one night and
seated themselves in thu most advan
tageous scats of this thn most select
house of worship in the city , says the
Seattle Times. The six did not resemble -
somblo conspirators bent on revolu
tionary and rebellious ladles , but they
were and they won their point.
"Ladles will plouso lomovo their
lints , " commnndcd Hov. Dr. Matthews ,
when his calm glnnco over his congre
gation revealed the fact that ono of
the standing rules of the church was
being violated right iinilor the minis
terial nose.
There wns no responsive action on
the part of the six. The request was
repeated In a still flrmor tone , but the
rebels sat firm , nnd after a pause of a
minute's duration the divine began his
sermon while the six snt straight with
their plumes Haunting a penn of vic
tory.
Emerson Shows Ready Wit.
I hnd pnssed n score of Hummers
when I first mot Hnlph Waldo Emer
son , says Julln Ward Howe in the
Delineator. Wo were fellow-passen
gers on board the Soundboat , bound
for Now York , and detained overtime
by n HiunvHtorm. A mutual friend hnd
made us acquainted Just- before start
ing on our way. I hnd not d OH I red the
Introduction , Mr. Emerson's reputa-
lion being Hint of "n putter forth of
strange doctrines , " much In opposi
tion to Hie old Iheology which hud pre
sided over my religions training.
Chance had brought ns together , and
I , with the mil of youth , expressed
my disapproval of the new doctrines.
"Do you not see , sir , " I made bold
to say , "that In thrjo theories no ac
count Is made of the devil , who goes
about , seeking to destroy human
souls ? "
"Surely , " Bald Mr. Emerson , "tho
angel must be stronger lhan the de
mon. "
His Preference.
The famous coup d'etat by which
Napoleon III. gained control of Franco
Is vividly described In the "Memoirs
of Monsieur Claude , " published by
Houghton , MHIIln & Co. Among the
many anecdotes of the eventful evening -
ing of December 1 , 1851 , M. Claude
gives the following : Comto Do Mor-
ny , Hie chief spirit of Hie nocturnal
drama about to bo performed , was
at the Opera Comlque in order lo
allay suspicions. A lady said lo him :
"Monsieur Do Morny , Is It Iruo Hint
Ihoy nre going to sweep out the chain-
bcr ? " "Madame , I don't know any
thing about It , " he replied ; "but If
there Is any sweeping to bo done I
shall try to bo on the side of the
broom-handle. "
Ingenuous.
Mrs. Artless The Bloughboys have
a grandfather's clock Hint's boon in
the family for more thnnICO years.
Mr. Artless Humph ! They didn't
have It a year ngo.
Mrs. Artless Oh , no ; but you see
It wns stolen nearly GO years ago and
Mrs. Bloughboy tolls mo It was by
the merest chnnco they discovered It
last week In a second-hand slore.
Puck.
Enigmatical.
"That forward Miss Flip openly ad
vocates kissing games. Hasn't she
nerve ? "
"Well , encouraging osculation is a.
thing which does require check. "