THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , DECEMBER 27 , 1907
4 *
d
-
CO )
'
x
How a Sldewlse Dog Trota.
, The place was the porch of the
store , the tlmo was about 10 o'clock in
the morning of a summer day , the
> T . people were the amiable loafers and
Old Baumgartner. "The person ho was
discoursing about was his son Sophenl-
jab. I am not sure that the name
> was not the ripe fruit of his father's
. - fancy with , perhaps , the Scriptural
'
' suggestion which is likely to be pres
ent in the affairs of a Pennsylvania
German whether a communicant or
not even if he live in Maryland.
"Yas always last ; expeclal at fu
nerals and weddings. Except his own
he's sure to be on time at his own
> funeral. Right out In front ! Hah ?
But sometimes he misses his wedding.
* Why , I knowed n feller yous all
knowed him , begoshens ! that didn't
-nn i git there tell another feller'd married
"ft ? , \ her 'bout morn'n a year afterward.
Wasn't it more'n a year , boys ? Yas
Bill Elsenkrout. Or , now , was It his
brother Baltzer Iron-Cabbage ? Seems
to me now like it was Baltz. Some-
sing wlss a B at the front end , any
how. "
Henry Wnsserman diffidently inti
mated that there was a curious but
satisfactory element of safety In being
last a "fastnacht" In their language ,
In fact. Those In front wore the ones
usually hurt in railroad accidents , Al
exander Althoff remembered.
"Sare ? " cried the speaker. "Of
course ! But for why say , for why ? "
Old Baumgartner challenged defiantly.
No one answered and he let several
impressive minutes intervene.
"You don't know ! Hang you , none
of yous knows ! Well because he
ain't there when anyslng occurs al
ways a little late ! "
They all agreed with him by a series
of sage nods.
"But , fellers , the worst Is about
courting. It's no way to be always
late. Everybody else gits there first ,
and it's nosslng for the fastnacht but
weeping and wailing and gnashing of
the teeth. And mebby the other feller
gits considerable happiness and a
good farm. "
There was complaint in the old
man's voice , and they knew that he
meant his own son Seffy. To add to
their embarrassment , this same son
4- was now appearing over the Lustlch
hill an opportune moment for a
pleasing digression. For you must be
told early cdncernlng Old Baumgart-
ncr'B longing for certain lauds , tene
ments and hereditaments using his
own phrase which were not his own ,
but which adjoined his. It bad'passed
Into a proverb of the vicinage ; indeed ,
though the property In question be
longed to one Sarah Pressel , it was
known colloquially as "Baumgartner's
Yearn. "
And the reason of It was this : Be
tween his own farm and the public
road ( and the railroad station when
it came ) lay the fairest meadow-land
farmer's eye had ever rested upon.
( I am speaking again for the father
of Seffy and with his hyperbole. )
Save In ono particular , it was like an
enemy's beautiful territory lying be
tween one's less beautiful own and the
open sea keeping one a poor Inlander
who Is mad for the seas whose crops
must either pass across the land of his
adversary and pay tithes to him , ergo
go by long distances around him at the
cost of greater tithes to the soulless
owners of the turnpikes who aggra-
vatlngly fix a gate each way to make
their tithes more sure. So , I say , It
was like having the territory of his
enemy lying between him and deep
water save , as I have also said , In
V" one particular , to wit : that the owner
the Sarah Pressel I have mentioned
was not Old Baumgartner's enemy.
In fact , they were tremendous
friends. And It was by this friendship
and ono other thing which I mean to
mention later that Old Baumgartner
hoped , before he died , to attain the
wish of his life , and see , not only the
Elysian pasture-Held , but the whole
of the adjoining farm , with the line
fences down , a part of his. The other
thing I promised to mention as an aid
to this ambition was Seffy. And ,
since the said Sarah was of nearly the
same age as Seffy , perhaps I need
not explain further , except to saj that
the only obstruction the old man could
see now to acquiring title by marriage
was Seffy himself. He was , and al
ways had been , afraid of girls es
pecially such aggressive , flirtatious ,
pretty and tempestuous girls as this
Sarah.
These things , however , were heredl-
. tary with the girl. It was historical ,
in fact , that , during the life of Sarah's
good-looking father , so Importunate
had been Old Baumgartner for the
Hurchaso of at least the meadow
he could not have ventured at that
time and so obstinate had been the
father of the present owner ( he had
red hair precisely as his daughter
had ) that they had come to blows
about It to the discomfiture of Old
Baumgartner ; and , afterward , they did
not speak. Yet , when the loafers at
the store laughed , Baumgartner swore
. that he would , nevertheless , havn that
" pasture before he died.
But , then , as if fate , too , were
against htm , the railroad was built ,
and its station wu olaced so that the
Pressel farm lay directly between It
and him , and of course the "Ufa" went
more and more In the direction of the
station left htm more and more "out
of It" and made him poorer and poor
er , and Pressel richer and richer. And ,
when the store laughed at that , Bnum-
gartner swore that he would possess
halt of the farm before he died ; and
as Prcssel and his wife died , and Seffy
grow up , and as ho noticed the fond
ness of the little red-headed girl for
his little tow-headed boy , ho added to
his adjuration that he would .bo har
rowing that whole farm before he
died without paying a cent for It !
But both Seffy and Sally had grown
to a marriageable age without any
thing happening. Seffy had become In
ordinately shy , wlille the coquettish
Sally had accepted the attentions of
Sam Prltz , the clerk at the store , as
an antagonist more worthy of her ,
and In a fashion which sometimes
made the father of Seffy swear and
lose his temper with Seffy. Though ,
of course , in the final disposition of
the matter , ho was sure thai no girl
so nice as Sally would marry such n
person ns Sam Pritz , with no ex
tremely visible vmeans of support a
salary of ? 4 a week , and an odious rep
utation for liquor. And It was for
these things , all of which were known
( for Baumgartner had not a single
secret ) that the company at the store
detected the personal equation in Old
Baumgartner's communications.
Seffy had almost arrived by this
time , and Sally was In the store ! With
Sam ! The situation was highly dra
matic. But the old man consummate
ly Ignored this complication and di
rected attention to his son. For him ,
the molasses-tapper did not exist.
The fact Is he was overjoyed. Seffy ,
for once in his life , would be on time !
He would do the rest
"Now , boys , chiiBt look at 'em !
Dogged If they ain't bose like one an
other ! How's the proferb ? Birds of a
feather Hock wlss one another ? I
dunno. Anyhow , Set flocks wlss Betz
constant. And they understand one
another good. Trotting like a sidewise -
wise dog of a hot summer's day ! " And
he showed the company , up and down
the store porch just how a sldewlse
dog would bo likely to trot on a hot
summer day and then laughed joy
ously.
If there had been an artist eye to
see they would have been well worth
its while Seffy and the mare so af
fectionately disparaged. And , after
all , I am not sure that the speaker
himself had not an artist's eye. For
a spilng pasture , or a fallow upland ,
or a drove of goodly cows deep In his
clover , I know he had. ( Perhaps you ,
too , have ? ) And this was his best
inare and his only KOII.
The big bay , clad in broad-banded
harness , soft with oil and glittering
with brasses , was shambling indolent
ly down the hill , resisting her own
momentum by the diagonal motion
the old man had likened to a dogV
sldewlso trot. The looped trace-chains
wore jingling a merry dithyramb , her
head was nodding , her tall swaying ,
and Seffy , propped by his elbow on
her broad back , one leg swung be
tween the harness , the other keeping
time on her ribs , was singing : ,
"I want to bo an angel
And with the angels stand ,
A crown upon my forehead
A harp within my hand "
His adoring father chuckled. "I
wonder what for kind of nnchel he'd
make , anyhow ? And Betz they'll
have to go together. Say , I wonder If
It Is horse-anchels1 *
No one know ; no one offered a sug
gestion.
"Well , It ought to be. Say he ken
perform circus wlss ol' Betz ! "
They expressed their polite sur
prise at this for perhaps the hun
dredth time.
"Yas they have a kind of circus-
ring in the barnyard. He stands on
one foot then on another , and on his
hands wlss his feet kicking , and then
he says words like hokey-pokey
and Betz she kicks up behind and
throws him off In the dung and we all
laugh happy efcr after Betz most of
all ! "
After the applause he said :
"I guess I'd better wake 'em up !
What you sink ? "
They one and all thought he had.
They know he would do It , no matter
what they thought. His method , as
usual , was his own. Ho 'stepped to
the adjoining field , and , selecting a
clod with the steely polish of the plow *
share upon It , threw It at the mare.
It struck her on the flank. She gathered -
ed her feet under her In sudden alarm ,
then slowly relaxed , looked slyly for
the old man , found him , and under
standing , suddenly wheeled and am
bled off home , leaving Seffy prone on
the ground as her part of the joke.
The old man brought Seffy In tri
umph to the store-porch.
"Chust stopped you afore you got
to be a anchel ! " he was saying. "We
couldn't boar to sink about you being
a anchel an' wlss the ancbels stand
a harp upon your forehead , a crown
within your hand , I expect when It's
corn-planting time. "
Seffy grinned cheerfully , brushed off
the dust and contemplated tla father' *
watch held accusingly against htm ,
Old Baumgnrtncr went on gaily.
"About an Inch and n half npnat
ton ! Scffy , I'm ilnd you nln't breakIng -
Ing your reputation for being fast-
nnchlch. Chust about n quarter of an
Inch too Into for the prize wlss Hour
on Us hair and arms and Us frock
pinned up to show Its new petticoat 1
Uluit If 1 had ouch a nlcu petti
coat " ho Imitated the lady In ques
tion , to the tremendous delight of the
gentle loafers.
Seffy stared a little und rubbed
some dust out of his eyes. Ho was
pleasant but dull.
"Yasslr , Sof , if you'd a-got yero at a
Inch and a quarter npaat ! Now Sam's
got her. Down in the cellar n-llcktng
molasses together ! Doggone If Sam
don't git eferyslng except his duo
bills. Ho don't want to be no anchel
tell he dies. He's got fun enough yore
but Seffy you're like the flow of
molasses In January at courting. "
This oblique suasion made no Im
pression on Seffy. It IB doubtful if he
understood It at all. The loafers be
gan to smile. Ono laughed. The old
man checked him with a threat of per
sonal harm.
"Hold on there , Jefferson Datla Bus
by , " ho chid. "I don't allow no one
to laugh at my Seffy except chust me
account I'm his daddy. It's a fight-
word the next tlmo you do it. "
Mr. Buaby straightened his coun
tenance.
"He don't seem to notice nor kcor
'bout gals do he ? "
No one spoke.
"No , durn him , he nln't no good. '
Say what'll you give for him , hah ?
Ycrc ho goes to the highest bidder
for richer , for poorer , for better , for
worscr , up and down , in and out ,
swing your partners what's bid ? He
ken plow ns crooked as a mule's hind
leg , sleep hard as a "possum in winter
time , cat like a snake , git left efery
time but ho ken ketch fish. They
wait on him. What's bid ? "
No ono would hazard a bid.
"Ylt a minute , " shouted the old fel
low , pulling out his bull's-eye watch
again , "what's bid ? Going going all
done going "
"A dollar ! "
The bid came from behind him , and
the .voice was beautiful to hear. A
gleam came Into the old man's eyes as
he heard it. Ho deliberately put the
watch back In Its pocket , put on his
spectacles , and turned , as If she were
a stranger.
"Gone ! " he announced then. "Who's
the purchaser ? Come forwards and
take away you' property. What's the
name , please ? " Then ho pretended to
recognize her. "Oach ! Sally ! Well ,
that's lucky ! He goes In good hands.
He's sound and kind , but needs the
whip. " He held out his hand for the
dollar.
It was the girl of whom he had
spoken accurately as a prize. Her
sleeves were turned up as fur as they
would go , revealing some soft lace-
trimmed whiteness , and there was
flour on her arms. Some [ latches of
It on her face gave a petal-like effect
to her otherwise aggressive color. The
pretty dress was pinned far enough
back to reveal the prettier petticoat
plus a pair of trimly-clad ankles.
Perhaps these were neither the gar
ments nor the airs in which every
farmer-maiden did her baking. But
then , Sally was no ordinary farmer-
maiden. She was all this , it is true ,
but she was , besides , grace and color
and charm Itself. And if she chose to
bake in such attire or , even , if she
chose to pretend to do so , where was
the churl to say her nay , even though
the flour was part of a deliberate
"make-up ? " Certainly he was not
at the store that summer morning.
And Seffy was there. Her hair es
caped redness by only a little. But
that little was Just the difference be
tween ugliness and beauty. For ,
whether Sally were beautiful or not
about which we might contend a bit
her hair was , and perhaps that Is
the reason why It was nearly always
uncovered or , possibly , again , be
cause it was so much uncovered was
the reason It was beautiful. It seemed
to catch some of the glory of the sun.
Her face had a few freckles and her
mouth was a trifle too large. But , In
it were splendid teeth.
In short , by the magic of brilliant
color and natural grace she narrowly
escaped being extremely handsome
In the way of a sun-burned peach , era
a maidcn's-blush apple. And even If
you should think she were not hand
some , you would admit that there was
an indescribable rustic charm about
her. She was like the aroma of the
hay-fields , or the woods , or a field of
daisies , or dandelions.
The girl , laughing , surrendered the
money , and the old man , taking an
arm of each , marched them perc-mp-
torlly nwny.
"Coma to the house and git his
clothes , nforyslng goes In stofoplpo
hat , butterfly necktie , diamond pin ,
tooth-brush , halr-oll , razor and soap. "
They had got far enough uround the
corner to bo out of Bight of the store
during this gaiety , und the old man
shoved Soffy and the girl In front of
htm , linked their anna , and retrcntod
to the ronr.
"What Soplipnljnh P. Uaumgartnor ,
Senior , hath j'lncd together , let no
body put athumlor , begoshena ! " lu an
nounced.
The proceeding appeared to bo pain
ful to Softy , but not to Sally. She
frankly accepted the situation and
promptly put Into action Ita opportuni
ties for coquetry. She begged him ,
first , with consummate aplomb , to aid
her in adjusting her parcels more se
curely , Insisting upon carrying thorn
herself , and It would bo Impossible to
describe adequately her allures. The
electrical touches , half-caress , half-de
fiance ; the confidential whisperings ,
so that the wily old man In the rear
might not hear ; the surges up against
htm ; the recoveries only to surge
again those would require a mechan
ical contrivance which reports not
only sj > eoch but action and oven this
might easily fall , BO subtle was It all !
"Sof Softy , I thought It was his
old watch ho was auctioning off. I
wanted It ror ror a nest-egg ! aim-
ha-ha ! You must excuse me. "
"You wouldn't 'a * bid at all ir you'd
kiiowcd It was mo , I reckon , " said
Soffy.
"Yes , 1 would , " declared the co
quette. "I'd rather Imvo you than any
nost-cgg In the whole world any two
of 'emI" and when ho did not take
his chance "If they wore made of
gold ! "
But then she spoiled It.
"It's worse fellows than you , SofTy. "
The touch or coquetry was but too ap
parent.
"And better , " said Seffy , with a
lump In his throat. "I know I nln't no
good with girls and I don't care ! "
"Yes ! " she assented wickedly.
"There are better ones. "
"Sam Prltz "
Sally looked away , smiled , and was
silent.
"Sulky Soffy ! " she finally said.
"If he does stink of salt mackerel ,
and 'most always drunk ! " Soffy went
on bitterly. "He's nothing but a mo-
lasses-tapper ! "
Sally began to drift further away
and to sing. Calling Prltz names was
of no consequence except It kept
Seffy from making love to her
while he was doing It which seemed
foolish to Sally. The old man came
up and brought them together again.
"Oach ! go 'long and make lofo some
more. I like to see It. I expect I am
nn old Tool , but I like to see It It's
like ol' times yas , and If you don't
look out there , Seffy , I'll take a hand
myself yasslr ! go 'long ! "
He drew them very close together ,
each looking the other way. Indeed
he held them there for n moment ,
roughly. ,
Seffy stole a glance at Sally. Ho
wanted to see how she was taking his
father's odiously intimate suggestion.
But it happened that Sally wanted
to see how he was taking It. She
laughed with the frankest of joy as
their eyes met.
"Scffy I do like you , " said the co
quette. "And you ought to know It.
You imp ! "
Now this was Immensely stimulat
ing to the bashful Seffy. *
"I like you , " he said "over since wo
was babies. "
"Sof I don't believe you. Or you
wouldn't waste your time so about
Sam Prltz ! "
"Er Sally where you golng , to to
night ? " Seffy meant to prove him
self.
self.And
And Sally answered , with n little
fright at the sudden aggressiveness
she had procured.
"Nowheres that I know of. "
"Well may I sot up with you ? "
The pea-green sunbonnet could not
conceal the amazement and then the
radiance which shot Into Sally's face.
"Set up with mo ! "
"Yes ! " said Seffy , almost savagely.
"That's what I said. "
"Oh , I I guess so ! Yes ! of course ! "
she answered variously , and rushed
off home.
"You know I own you , " she laughed
back , as If she had not been sufficient
ly explicit. "I paid for you ! Your
pappy's got the money ! I'll expect my
property to-night. "
"Yas ! " shouted the happy old man ,
"and begoshcus ! it's a rcg'ler nargaln !
Ain't It , Seffy ? You her property
real estate , hereditaments and tene
ments. " And even Seffy was drawn
Into the joyous laughing conceit of it !
Had he not just done the bravest
thing of his small lire ?
"Yes ! " he cried alter the rasclnatlng
Sally. "For sure and certain , to-night. "
"It's a bargain ! " she cried.
"For better or worsor , richer or
poorer , up an' down , In an' out ,
chasscz right and left ! Aba-ha-ha !
Aba-ha-ha ! But , Seffy , " and the
happy father turned to the happy son
and hugged him , "don't you efer forgit
that she's a feather-head and got a
bright red temper like her daddy !
And they both work mighty bad to
gether sometimes. When you got her
at the right place onct well , nail her
down hand and feet BO'S she can't
git away. When she gits mad her lit
tle brain evaporates , and if she had a
knife she'd go round stabbing her best
friends that's the only sing that
safes her yas , and us ! no knlfo. If
she had a knlfo It would be funerals
following her all the time. "
II.
What Have Feelings Got to Do With
Cow-Pasture ?
They advanced together now , Softy's
father whistling some tune that was
never heard before on earth , and , with
big arm In that of his son , they watch
ed Sally bounding nwnyi Once more ,
ns she leaped a fence , aha looked
laughingly bnck. The old man whistled
wildly out of tune. Softy waved a
hand ,
"Now you shouting , Softyl Shout ,
ug'lnl"
"I didn't say a word ! "
"Well It nln't too lalo ! Go on ! "
Now Sotty understood and laughed
with his father.
"Nlco gal , S\f Soffy ! "
"Yes ! " admitted Soffy with reserve ,
"Healthy. "
Soffy agreed to this , also.
"No doctor bills ! " his father ampli
fied.
fied.Soffy
Soffy said nothing.
"Entlro orphen. "
"She's got a granny I"
" " old at the
"Yas , chuckled the man
way his son was drifting Into the
situation thinking about granny !
"but Sally owns the farm ! "
"Uhu ! " satd Soffy , whatever that
might mean.
"And Sally's the boss ! "
Silence.
"And granny won't object to anyone
ono Sally marries , anyhow she das-
sent ! Sho'd git licked ! "
"Who said anything about marry
ing ? "
Soffy was speciously savage now
aa any Buccessful wooer might bo.
"Nobody but mo , Hank you ! " said
the old man with equally specious
meekness. "I/ook how aho ken jump
a nix-rail fence. Like a throe-year
filly ! She's a nice gal , SofTy and the
farms J'lno together her pasture-Hold
and our corn-field. And she's kissing
her hand backwards ! At mo or you ,
SofTy ? "
Soffy said ho didn't know. And ho
did not return the kiss though ho
yearned to.
"Well , I bet a dollar that the first
Initial or his last name Is Sephanlhih
P. Baumgarten , Junior. "
"Well ! " said Seffy with n great
flourish , "I'm going to sot up with her
to-night. "
"Ouch git out , Sori" though lie
knew it.
"You'll see , "
"No , I won't , " said his father. "I
wouldn't bo so durn mean. Nos'slr ! "
SolTy grinned at this subtle foolery ,
and his courage continued to grow.
"I'm going to wear my high lwtr !
ho announced , with his nose In the
air.
"No , Set ! " said the old man with
a wonderful Inflection , fnc.luu ; him
about that ho might look Into his de
termined face. For it must bo ex
plained that the stovepipe hat , In that
day and that country , was dedicated
only to the most momentous social oc-
caslonu and that , consequently , gen
tlemen wore It to go courting.
"Yes ! " declared Soffy again.
"Bring forth stovepipe ,
The stovnplpo , the ( ovpplpo "
chanted Seffy's frivolous father In th/j
way of the Anvil Chorus.
"And my butterfly necktie with "
"Wlss the dl'mond on ? " whispered
his father.
They laughed in confidence of their
secret. Soffy , the successful wooer ,
was thawing out again. The diamond
was not n diamond at nil the Hebrew -
brow who sold It to Soffy had con
fessed ns much. But he also swore
that If it were kept In perfect polish
no one but a diamond merchant could
tell the difference. Thcrerore , there
being no diamond merchant anywhere
near , and the Jewel being always Im
maculate , Soffy presented It as a diamond
mend and had risen perceptibly In the
opinion or the vicinage.
"And and and Sur Seffy , what
you goln' to "do ? " "
"Do ? "
Seffy had been absorbed In what ho
was going to wear.
"Yns yas that's the most Impor
tant. " He encircled Seffy's waist and
gently squeezed it. "Oh , of course !
Hah ? But what ylt ? "
I regret to say that Soffy did not
understand.
"Seffy , " ho said impressively , "you
haf tol' mo what you goln' to wear.
It ain't much. The weather's ylt pooty
col' nights. But I ken stand It If you
ken God knows about Sally ! Now ,
what you goln' to do that's the conun-
trum I ast you ! "
Still It was not clear to Soffy.
"Why what I'm a-golng to do , hah ?
Why whatever occurs. "
"Gosh-a'mlghty ! And nofer say u
word or do a sing to help the occur
rences along ? Goshens ! What a sot-
tlug-up ! Why say Seffy , what you
set up for ? "
Soffy did not exactly know. Ho had
never hoped to practise the thing In
that sublimely militant phase.
"What do you think ? "
"Well , Sof plow straight to her
heart. I wlsht I had your chance. I'd
show you a other-guess kind a setting-
up yasslr ! Make your mouth vftuteV
and your head swim , bcgoshons ! Why ,
that Sally's just like a young stubble-
field ; goth to bo worked constant , and
plowed deep , and manured hcafy , and
mebby drained wlss blind ditches , and
crops changed constant , and kep * a-go
lng thataway constant constant
so's the weeds can't git In her. Then
you ken put her In wheat after a
while and git your money back. "
This drastic metaphor had its ef
fect. Seffy began to understand. Ho
Bald so.
"Now look here , Seffy , " his father
wont on more sortly , "when you git
to this and this and this , " ho went
through his pantomime again , and It
Included a progressive caressing to
the kissing point "well , chust when
you boso comrortablp hah ? mebby
on one cheer , what I know It's so
long scnce I done it myself when you
bose comfortable , ast her chust ast
her aham ! what she'll take for the
pasture-field ! She owns you boso and
she can't use boso you and the pas
ture. A bird In the hand is worth
seferal in another feller's not so ? "
But Seffy only stopped and stared at
his father. Thin , again , ho did not
understand ,
"You know well enough I got no
money lo buy no pasture-field , " said
ho.
"Gosh-a'mlghty ! " imld the old man
joyfully , making an If ho would strlko
Seffy with his huge fist a tiling ho
often did. "And ain't got nosslng to
trade ? "
"Nothing except the marol" said the
boy.
boy."Say
"Say nln't you got no feelings , you
Idjlot ? "
"Oh " said Soffy. And then :
"But what's feelings got to do with
cow-pasturo ? "
"Oach ! No wonder ho wants to bo
nn nnchol , and wlss the nnchols stand
holding sings In his hands and on
his head ! He's too good for this wllo
world.4 He'd linger shlforlng on the
brink and fear to launch away all hla
durn llfo It some one didn't push him
In. So hero goes ! "
This was spoken to the skies , ap
parently , but now ho turned to his
son again.
"Look a-yoro , you young dummer-
ux , feelings Is the name to gala Ilko
Sally , an money Is to you and mo.
You ken buy potatoes wlsa 'em. Do
you understand ? "
Soffy said that ho did , now.
"Well , then , I'fo tried to buy that
pasture-Hold n sousand times "
Soffy started.
"Yes , that's a llttlo bit a lie mebby
a dozen times. And at last Sally's
daddy said he'd lick mo If I efor said
paslura-flcld ag'ln , nnd I said It ag'ln
and ho licked mo ! Ho was a big man
and rod-headed ylt , like Sally. Now ,
look a-yoro you ken git that pasture-
field wlssout money and wlssout price
except you' dam' feelings which.
ain't no other USD. Sally won't lick
you If she Is bigger don't bo a-
skcored. You got tons of foolln's you
ain't got no other use for don't waste
'em they're good green money , and
wo'll git ofon wlss Sally's daddy for
licking mo ylt and someslng on the
side ! Huh ? "
At last It was evident that Soffy
fully understood , nnd his father broke
Into that discordant whistle once
more.
"A gal that ken jump n six-rail
fence nnd wlssout no running start
don't lot her git apast you ! "
"Well , I'm going to sot up with her
to-night , " said Scffy again , with a hugo
ahem. And the tune his father
whistled ns ho opened the door for
him sounded something like "I want
to be nn nngol. "
"But not to buy no pasture-land ! "
warned Soffy.
"Oach , no , of course not ! " agreed
his wily old father. "That's chust ono
of my durn jokes. But I expect I'll
tnko the fence down to-morrow ! Say ,
Sef , you chust marry the gal , I'll take
kcor the fence ! "
III.
But Sally Was the Angel.
It took Seffy a long tlmo to array
himself as ho had threatened. And
when It was all done you wouldn't
have known him you wouldn't have
cnrod to know him. For his fine yel
low hair was changed to an ugly ,
brown by the patent halr-oll with
which ho had dressed it and you
would not have liked Its fragrance , I
trust. Bergamot , I think It was. His
fine young throat was garroted within
n starched standing collar , his feet
wore pinched in creaking boots , hia
hands closo-gauntletcd In buckskin
gloves , and ho altogether Incompar
able , uncomfortable , and triumphant.
Down stairs his father paced the
floor , watch in hand. From time to
tlmo he would call out the hour , like a
watchman on a minaret. At last :
"Look a-yere , Soffy , It's about two
Inches apast sefon and by the tlmo
you git there say , nefor git another
feller u chance to git there afore you
or to leave after you ! "
Seffy descended at that moment
with his hat poised in his left hand.
His father dropped his watch and
picked it up.
Both stood at gaze for a moment.
"Sunder , Sef ! You as beautiful aa
the sun , moon and stars and as
stinky as scfernl apothecary shops.
Yero , tnko the watch and git along
so's you haf sonio time wlss you now
git along ! You lute a'rcady. Goshons !
You was behind time when you was
born ! Yas , your mammy wass dlsap-
p'lnted In you right at first. You wass
76 hours late ! But now you reformed
sank God ! I always knowed It wass
a cure for it , but I didn't know It wasa
anyslng as nlco as Sally. "
Scffy Issued forth to his first con
quest lighted as far as the front gate
by the fat lamp held in his father's
hand.
"A Sef Soffy , shall I set up for
you tell you git home ? " he called Into
the dark.
"No ! " shouted Soffy.
"Aha aha aha ! That sound !
